Gramps - Chapter 13

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 13

 

What kind of difference could those cameras really make?  Yeah, they were all over the house, downstairs only I guessed, I didn’t want to go upstairs to check there.  But what kind of difference could they possibly make?  Not much.  Kimmie actually spent most of her time in classes and couldn’t spend it all watching me.  Not that I ever did anything exciting except get out of my chair once in a blue moon to…do things, which never amounted to much, before I got back into my chair again to watch more TV or read.

On Thursday, there were again five baby bottles full of…whatever…in the refrigerator.  I thought I’d be done with the text requests from Kimmie for pictures of my diaper or my pacifier, but it seems I wasn’t.  Those requests still came in.  Was it possible that the cameras couldn’t see that much?  I was guessing that was the case.  So I was stuck still being monitored with everything over the phone.  Despite having my chair-sitting time interrupted with more requests for pictures, I was glad the cameras couldn’t see that much.  I felt like my life had been invaded enough.  Overly enough.  Too much!  But what was I going to do about it?  I did my best to ignore all those cameras watching my life now.

Despite the cameras, the day was mostly ordinary for me.  Kimmie dressed me, five bottles awaited me, Kimmie bugged me, packages on my doorstep bothered me, I tried my best to figure out where my cock went, and Kimmie and I strolled around the backyard.  Well, Kimmie strolled, I huffed and puffed still.  And we were still going a bit further each day so it was becoming more and more of a struggle for me.  Still, Kimmie kept me going. 

Once again, Kimmie dressed me for bed at eight o’clock instead of nine, then let me watch TV for only the next hour before sticking me in bed.  Somehow, my usual ten o’clock bedtime had gotten moved up to nine o’clock instead.  How had that happened?  Why had that happened?  There were TV shows I wanted to watch, and a lot of them didn’t come on until nine o’clock.  I complained, which only got my pacifier shoved in my mouth before she told me, “Ten o’clock bedtime is way too late for babies.  I’ll bring your baby bottle in a few minutes.”

Ugh!  I wanted to watch my shows.  I was going to kill that woman someday.  Darn woman!

Friday should have been a carbon copy of all my other days recently.  But there were just a few minor differences.  And those differences began happening when Kimmie got me dressed that day.  Oh yes, I got the diaper, the sweatshirt (hers again), the stockings…but that’s where the usual stuff all ended.  After the stockings, Kimmie pulled out something thick and pink.  Something that appeared knitted.  And she pulled those somethings up my legs over top of the stockings.

“Huh?”

“Leg warmers Gramps,” she told me.  “They came in the mail yesterday.  Don’t you just love them?  And they should help keep your legs nice and warm.  Now you don’t have to worry about keeping that blanket of yours over you all the time.  I got you two pairs.”

“You got me?”

“Well, I ordered them.  I used your credit card though.”

“Oh thanks!” I replied sarcastically.  That was the point where she shoved the pacifier in my mouth again.  But that wasn’t the only different thing she put on me.  From my closet she pulled out something else that was pink, and a bit shiny.  And more than a bit frightening.  Shoes!  Shoes with a very high, thin heel.  Shoes with a strap that would go around my ankle.  And after ordering them with her, I also knew they were shoes that she could lock on me so I couldn’t take them off.

Behind that gag in my mouth, I was hyperventilating as she stuck them on each foot and buckled them securely.  The locks didn’t come until after they were both on my feet, but the locks only took a few seconds to be added and secured.

She grabbed both my pink feet and looked me in the eyes with a delighted look.  “Don’t you just love them?  I’ll bet all you can think about already is how much fun they’re going to be to wear all day.”

Was she kidding?  Yeah, maybe in normal circumstances they’d be fun, but my body was missing a certain part of my basic anatomy now that had a lot to do with that fun.  And she expected me to wear those shoes?  All day?  Of course she did.  Well, I wasn’t going anywhere except my chair in the living room anyway.  I had good reason to stay off my feet now.  In fact, I might not even make it to the refrigerator to get whatever baby bottles she left for me.

With a giggle, she bopped me on my pacifier and walked out.  Darn woman!

I sat on my bed and stared at the floor.  My eyes kept going to those pink shoes locked onto my feet.  Pink shoes that matched the pink leg warmers on my legs, that matched the pink nail polish on my fingers.  Pink!  Ugh!  It wasn’t that I didn’t like pink.  It’s just that wearing it made me squeamish.  I had little choice though but to wear it.  I didn’t have anything to use to remove it from my hands, and I didn’t have a key to remove the shoes from my feet.  I was stuck in all of it.

With a sigh, I let my feet touch the floor.  Even sitting like I was, the angle they were forced into was weird…and I had been wearing heels for days on end now.  Just not heels this high.  I gradually shifted my weight onto my feet and slowly tried to stand.  I was in danger of wobbling there for a moment, but at least I was on my feet now.  But how about walking?  How about actually moving somewhere in those shoes?

With my arms extended to the sides a bit for balance, I set my first destination, the doorway.  I took a step.  Just like with my other heels I noticed the thin heel of these shoes hitting the floor first before my toe could land.  I shifted my weight and moved my other foot.  Right foot, left foot.  Slowly and precariously, I made my way to my bedroom doorway where I grabbed the doorframe.  From there, my eyes locked onto my chair in the middle of the living room.  My living room that suddenly seemed bigger than it used to.

When I made it to my chair, turned, and sat down, I didn’t know if I should feel relieved or proud of myself for making it.  Both I guess.  And the truth was, I was proud of making it that far without falling, and no doubt, I was very relieved.  A moment later, the footrest on my recliner was up and I was safe.  I pulled my blanket over my embarrassing…everything.

Kimmie came back a few minutes later to say goodbye.  She leaned down and I thought she was going to kiss me, but instead she just leaned close to my face.  She reached out and grabbed my pacifier.  She pulled lightly, but not enough to remove it from my mouth.  “Suck on it like you’re drinking something from your baby bottle.”

Huh?

“Suck Gramps.  Gently.  Like you’re drinking.”

I tentatively started sucking a bit.

“Relax…now do it again.”

I tried it again.  What was her problem?

She shook her head.  “We’ll work more on that tonight,” she told me.

Work on what?  Sucking on my pacifier?  I didn’t want to suck on the thing.  Yeah, it was fun…at first, but now after keeping it in my mouth for so long, I was sick of it.

She kissed my forehead and chuckled.  “Have fun today Gramps,” she told me before walking away.

I listened as I heard her going out the door.  She was gone.  Now what was I going to do?  I wanted some coffee.  I wanted something for breakfast.  Instead, I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on.  I didn’t brave getting out of my chair for coffee or breakfast for another hour.  And when I did, I opened the refrigerator and saw all those baby bottles waiting for me that I would have to get through today.  Ugh!

I tottered carefully around the kitchen and made myself something to eat, but instead of coffee, I grabbed a bottle instead.  Might as well get one of them over with.  Precariously, I managed to carry it all back to my chair where I set everything on my end table and sat gratefully.  Darn those shoes were something.  Manageable, yes, but a bit difficult at the same time.  And no!  I refuse to admit they were fun.  They weren’t fun at all!  Get it?  No fun!  Just like my entire body was getting no fun because Kimmie had stolen my cock and took it somewhere.

Man does not live by TV alone.  Nor does just adding a book to read help much.  Plus, like it or not, I had to get to those stupid baby bottles littering my refrigerator.  Why was Kimmie so adamant that I drink them every day, and why so many?  Five was too much!

Mid-morning, after sending Kimmie pictures of my diaper, my pacifier, and now the pink heels on my feet, I forced myself out of my chair and grabbed another bottle from the fridge.  With it in my hand, I took my life in my hands and “wandered” around the house, just to enjoy…I mean not enjoy walking in those heels.  I walked from the living room to the kitchen, to the front door, to my office.  I walked around in circles, and then I did it all again.  Just for something else to do, I even put a load of laundry into the washer.  All just so I couldn’t enjoy wearing and walking in those shoes.  You can easily see that I wasn’t enjoying them one bit!  I did more walking around than I had in some time.

While the washer was running, I finally landed in my home office and sat down in front of my computer to look at some sissy baby porn.  Why not?  It’s what Kimmie wanted me to look at, and what I wanted to look at too.  It’s just that without a cock anymore, it was a lot less fun than it used to be.  Still, I couldn’t seem to help myself, and I spent quite a while ogling it all.  Well, I needed to stay off my feet, didn’t I?  Who would ever want to walk around in shoes like the ones that I couldn’t remove from my feet?  Shoes like the ones I was stuck in.  Shoes that were no fun at all.  And they weren’t!

After spending more time than usual on the porn, I got back to my feet and moved the clothes from the washer to the dryer.  Now what should I do with myself?  Wanting to stay on my feet, I grabbed another baby bottle and began carrying it around as I wandered the house again, trying to get used to the feel of those miserable shoes that I hated so much.

I walked here, I walked there, I wet my diaper while I walked, I drank from my bottle while I walked.  I did everything I could while I tried to find some way I could actually enjoy wearing those super high pink heels that I couldn’t remove from my feet even if I wanted to.  They were stuck on me.  Kimmie had stuck them on me.  She had removed my cock and replaced it with these sexy high heels.  Darn, I wanted to hump my bed in the worst way.  But that wouldn’t help anything.  Maybe I shouldn’t have spent so much time looking at that porn today.

Lunchtime came and I realized that the last pictures Kimmie had requested had been that big batch she had asked for earlier.  I figured she must have had a busy day at school and didn’t have time.  All the better!  But in the middle of getting my lunch together, she sent another request for pictures.  She just wanted a good closeup of my diaper though.  Nothing else.  That one was easy to manage and get out of the way.

Two minutes later though, I got a huge shock when her voice suddenly seemed to come at me from everywhere.  “Gramps?  Can you hear me?”

I looked all around.  “Kimmie?”

“Great!” she replied.  “I can hear you just fine too.”

I was still looking around.  “You can hear me?”

“Now I can,” she told me.  “Kyle and I just finished setting that up.  Now I can not only see you, but if I want, I can hear you too, and you can hear me.  Isn’t that great?”

That wasn’t exactly the way I’d put it.  “What for?” I asked loudly now focusing on the camera in the corner of the kitchen. 

“In case I want to talk to you,” she replied.

I realized the sound was coming from all the cameras in the house.

“We’ve got all the cameras set up now on motion detectors,” she told me, so they only pick up something when there’s movement.”

I realized I’d be spending even more time sitting in my chair, without moving an inch.

“By the way Gramps.  Another package arrived a few minutes ago.  It’s out by the front door.”

“Uh…yeah,” I replied.  “I’ll get it.”

“Good.  Thanks Gramps.  Have a good day.”

I heard her giggle just before the sound cut off.  She could see and hear me too?  What next?  I didn’t want to think about that.  I carried my lunch, along with another baby bottle into the living room and set them on the table next to my chair.  I climbed into my chair and raised the footrest.  I covered myself with my blanket, and I spent a good few minutes staring at the camera in the corner of the living room…that was pointed right at me.  I was very glad just then for the blanket I had over me.  Maybe I needed to get a bigger one.

I really didn’t like the two o’clock rule that Kimmie had imposed as to when I could finally change my diaper.  It was too long a time to go, especially with all the bottles she wanted me to drink during the day.

It seemed like I had just barely finished eating when that feeling of impending doom hit me.  Damn!  I knew it was inevitable, and I also knew that being stuck in diapers I could do nothing about it.  It was going to happen.  I fought with it for a while, then threw my blanket off me and started to get out of my chair.  But I didn’t make it before I made something else instead – a mess in the back of my diaper.  Ugh!  Yuck!  I stood up in those impossible shoes and let the problem finish itself.

Not wanting to sit back down just then, I took a few tentative steps.  Yuck!  Awful!  I had little choice though but to manage.  I could barely walk.  First because of those heels locked to my feet, and now because of the mess in my backside.  Together, the combination was practically lethal.

In that condition, I cleaned up my few lunch things, then I emptied the dryer and put the clothes away.  I did everything I could while I waited for two o’clock to arrive.  Mostly though, I walked from room to room in the house.  Trust me, there was little else that I felt like doing.  If Kimmie could see, hear, and talk to me, could she smell me too?  I guessed not.  Otherwise, she would want me to change myself a lot sooner!  Smell me Kimmie!  Feel how disgusting this diaper is!

When two o’clock came, I was already in my bathroom, ready to get changed.  Yeah, yeah, I sent Kimmie a picture of my diaper, even though I wondered if she could see how bad the thing was.

About four thirty that afternoon, I was covered up all snug in my chair watching TV when once again my life got invaded by Kimmie’s voice from everywhere.  “Gramps.  Can you hear me?”  And then I heard her laugh.

I looked up at the camera in the corner of the ceiling.  “Yeah.  What now?”

“I just wanted to tell you that we’ll be late getting home today, but we shouldn’t be too late.”

“We?”

“Me and Kyle,” she replied.

I wasn’t exactly happy about that.  “Your boyfriend’s coming again?”

“Sure.  Why not?  Don’t worry, I’ll be making dinner tonight.”

It wasn’t something I had been exactly worried about.  In fact, I hadn’t even given the topic a single thought.  “See you later,” I heard her say.  And then her voice seemed to be gone.  Seemed to be.  But was she still watching?  I had no way of knowing.  Suspicious about things, I tried to continue watching my show, but I was more concerned about whether she and Kyle were watching me or not.

Kimmie and Kyle walked in about an hour later than Kimmie usually got home, which actually was a time that varied quite a bit.  She came over and kissed me.  Kyle simply stood back and said, “Hi Gramps.”

Now he was calling me Gramps too?  I decided that was fine with me.  The two of them walked off and left me alone with the TV.  Now if they would just continue to leave me alone, maybe I could get some programs watched.

Before long, I heard Kimmie busy in the kitchen, but a moment later, Kyle was doing something in the corner of the living room.  Kimmie came out to talk to him and the two of them conferred for a moment before Kimmie went back to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Hanging this thing for Kim,” he told me.

“Hanging what?”

“A decoration she bought.”

“A decoration?”  That surprised me, but…okay.  She lived here too.  I never realized we needed a decoration in that corner.  Ruthie had certainly never seemed to realize that either.  But…women.  Who knew?

I watched what I could as he installed the thing.  It appeared to be a single long shelf strip.  The kind you can put shelf supports into to create shelves at whatever height you want them.  But in this case, it was only one.  He mounted it to two triangular wooden blocks, then he screwed those blocks to slightly larger L brackets.  Then he began fastening the entire thing to the corner.  The top of it was just above his head, but the strip was long enough to go down just past his knees.  Why so long?

When it was secure and he had tugged on it a bit, he stuck a shelf support in near the top.  From a bag he extracted what I realized was the decoration itself.  It turned out to be a very nice looking lamp type thing, except it held a candle instead of a lightbulb.  All four sides of the thing were covered in clear glass.  Kyle hung the thing from the shelf support, and then stood back and called Kimmie.  I studied it from my chair while the two of them discussed how nice it looked.  And it did look pretty nice.  At least I could enjoy looking at it, even from my chair.

When dinner was ready, I had little choice but to uncover my embarrassingly dressed body and get up from my seat.  Kyle was doing everything possible not to laugh at me as he watched me heading for the table.  Kimmie however, did let out a bit of a laugh.  I wanted to tell them both where to stick it.

The part that surprised me was that once dinner was over, Kyle left and went home, leaving just Kimmie and me in the house.  Kimmie cleaned up the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher while I stayed in my chair.  But then she came over.  “Ready for our walk?” she asked.

I was flabbergasted.  “Walk?” I said.  “In these shoes?”

“Sure,” she replied as if there should be any other choice.  Then she laughed.  “No Gramps.  Unless you want to.  That would be fine with me.”

“No!” I said with more certainty than I actually felt.  I wasn’t sure how much fun walking that distance outside in the yard would be.  I had no doubt my feet would be in agony before we finished.

Kimmie leaned down and unlocked my shoes.  “Go get your sneakers on.  Let’s go before it gets too dark.”

Oh, the difference.  Oh, the relief.  Going from those super high heels to the sneakers was like walking from a nightmare into a dream.  Heaven.  Uh…I still huffed and puffed to get around.  That much at least hadn’t changed.

When we got back, I expected to be able to just sit and watch TV for a while before she changed me.  But I was wrong.  “Gramps,” she said as we got back into the house.  “Go sit at the table for a few minutes.  I want to talk to you.”

“We were talking out in the yard,” I reminded her.

“I know, but this is something different.”

I immediately sensed something bad, and I wondered if it involved Kyle.

I sat and waited.  She came back a minute later and set my cellphone and my pacifier on the table.  Then she found one of my baby bottles and filled it with one of her sports drinks.  She set that in front of me too before she dragged one of the chairs over and sat right next to me.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“Um…Gramps,” she said.  “I decided we need to work on something with you.”

“What’s that?”

“The way you suck on your pacifier.”

“What?  It’s in my mouth.  What more do you want?”

“I want you to learn to suckle it like you should.  Not just stick it in your mouth and keep it there with your teeth.”

“Suckle it?”

“Yes!”  She picked up the pacifier and stuck it in my mouth.  “Now suck on it,” she ordered.

I glared angrily at her for a few moments, but she didn’t appear to be backing down.  I sucked.

“Gently,” she said.  “Not so hard.”

I eased up a bit.

“Okay,” she said.  “Now suck, then stop and relax, then do it again.  Over and over.  You don’t need to suck constantly.”

I tried it.

“Good,” she said.  “We’re getting there.”  She pulled the plug from my mouth and picked up the baby bottle.  She stuck that between my lips.  “Drink,” she commanded.  I reached up to grab it but she said, “No.  I’ll hold it.  Just drink.”  So I did.  “Feel how you’re doing it?” she said.  “Can you feel the way your chin just barely moves when you drink?”  I didn’t give her an answer.  She pulled the bottle from my lips and stuck the pacifier back again.  “Now do it the same way.  Exactly the same.”

The nipple of the pacifier was a lot bigger than the baby nipple on the bottle.  But I tried it anyway.  It sort of worked.

“Good Gramps,” she said happily.  “Now keep doing that.”

I kept at it for a good minute before she stopped watching me.  I stopped nursing on the nipple and saw her picking up my cellphone.

“Here,” she said, handing me my cellphone.  “I want you to set it so you can video yourself sucking on that thing.”

I was shocked.  I tried to say, “Video,” but as usual, the pacifier prevented me from saying much of anything.  I had to hunt around for the setting on the camera, and Kimmie saved us both some time by pointing to the button, but it was soon videoing away.

“Point it at your chin,” she suggested.  “Closer,” she decided.  “Good.  That’s good.  Now just keep nursing on that thing the way I showed you and hold the camera right there.”

This was weird!  I had no idea what the point of the whole exercise was, other than to get me to suck on the thing instead of just hold it between my teeth.  I wanted to ask how long, but the moment I turned my head to ask, she quickly stopped me.  “Keep going!” she ordered.

It seemed like I videoed myself forever.

“There!” she finally said.  “You can stop now.”

I gratefully pulled the camera away and figured out how to end the recording.

“Now send that to me,” she said.

I was surprised.

“Send it,” she said again.  “Just like you do the pictures.  It’s easy.”

I hunted around and found the video right with all my other embarrassing pictures.  I selected it and texted it to Kimmie’s phone.

“Perfect!” she said.  Then she kissed my forehead.  “Go watch TV if you want,” she told me.

So I did.  What had that been all about?  It didn’t make much sense to me.

Eight o’clock came before I knew it, and nine o'clock seemed to come even faster.  My nightly baby bottle was soon between my lips and the light was off.  Could those cameras see me in the dark?  I didn’t care.

When my bottle was done, I once again tried to get some kind of stimulation…or feeling…or anything at all that I possibly could from that area of my body that was now rendered null and void.  As usual.  I got nothing.  But it didn’t keep me from trying until I got too tired and disgusted.

I wanted relief!  Badly.  But I couldn’t get it.  I couldn’t get anything from down there at all!

Darn woman.

 

Gramps - Chapter 12

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 12

 

When males are born, they’re born with a certain piece of anatomy that tells the doctors that, yup, it’s a boy.  For males, having that piece of anatomy is like a sacred contract.  A type of vow.  Kind of like the line in the old marriage vows that says, “To have and to hold from this day forward.”  But now, that vow had been broken, and not by me.  Kimmie broke it.

I could no longer hold it.  I could no longer even touch it.  And as far as having it, I wasn’t sure I even had it anymore.  Did I?  For all intents and purposes, I didn’t.  To have and to hold from this day forward.  As far as Kimmie was concerned, I didn’t have it, which meant that I certainly couldn’t hold it.  As far as I was concerned, the darn thing was basically gone.

I got to explore that little device a bit more during my morning shower the next day, but the truth was there wasn’t much for me to explore.  It was just a flat metal disk that stuck out…well, that’s just it, it didn’t stick out from my body at all.  Basically, other than my balls, the rest of it was flat to my body.  And it was all firmly attached to the point where I knew without a doubt that it wasn’t going anywhere.  Especially with that strap locked onto it that went all the way around my body.

To have and to hold.  Was I even still a male?  I got the impression that Kimmie would rather that I wasn’t.

My outfit that Kimmie gave me to wear was simply more same ol…same ol, except with one of her sweatshirts.  Before leaving, she not only made sure that my pacifier was firmly in my mouth, but she also made sure to remind me about the five baby bottles that were once again in the refrigerator waiting for me.  And then she said, “Oh, and I’m expecting a few more packages today.  Can you let me know when they come in?”

“Packages?”

“Yeah.  I bought some stuff.”

She wasn’t exactly being very forthcoming with the information.  “I guess,” I agreed.

“Good.”  She hugged and kissed me.  “Have a good one,” she told me before heading out the door.  I guess for her, life was just the same as always.  I didn’t consider my new life the same as always at all.

I opened the refrigerator and checked the baby bottles.  Five.  Like yesterday.  Two of them held milk though.  After yesterday, I wasn’t exactly fond of her sports drinks anymore.

I had my breakfast, but no coffee this time.  And when I was done, I made sure to put that darn pacifier back in my mouth…and let it drool.  Ugh!  I hated that.

Five baby bottles to drink.  I put off having any of them until later.  I had one with the blue sports drink for lunch at noon.  I had another one with orange stuff in it at one.  And I had another orange one at one thirty.  I had done a lot of drinking from the baby bottles and my mouth was tired and a bit sore.  It did give me a chance to explain why there was no drool in my pacifier pictures.  I’m sure though that Kimmie got a bigger kick out of how wet my diaper was suddenly getting.  Yeah, I held back as much as I could, but what the heck?  I was wearing a diaper.

Um…something I had to get used to though was that I couldn’t feel the pee coming out of my crushed penis at all.  I guess I had that darn tube inside me to thank for that.  I  couldn’t feel it coming out, but I certainly could feel the effects of all that pee as soon as it got out of me.  Wet!  And warm.  And…um…fun.  Don’t tell Kimmie!

Wonder of wonders, at one forty-five, my bowels erupted and my diaper became another big mess.  Not nearly as bad as the day before, but pretty darn nasty.  I took a picture of it at one minute after two and then went in to change.  A little while later, I was a happy camper again.  Clean and dry.  Well, maybe not entirely happy.  I wanted to hump my bed, or hump something so bad I couldn’t stand it.  But to what purpose?  Certainly not the purpose I wanted.  I went to the internet to look at my sissy baby porn instead.  No, it didn’t help, but it didn’t really hurt either…much.

Whoever delivered packages to our house lately was sneaky.  I never heard him.  Ever!  I just looked outside and if there were packages, so be it.  The ones for me I got a notice on my phone telling me they were there.  Kimmie’s…well, I guess she probably got a notice on her phone like I did.

About three in the afternoon, I got up the courage to open the front door, poke just my head out, and check.  Bingo!  Packages.  Several of them.  I desperately searched all around and didn’t see anyone, which meant that nobody could see me.  I pulled all the packages inside and closed the door.  Whew!  Safe!

I got my phone out and sent a text off to Kimmie telling her that her “stuff” had arrived.

She sent back that she wanted another picture of my diaper, and it had better be wet.

I had just changed it!  Damn the girl.  I forced myself to wet it as much as I could, and took the picture.  Then I retired to my recliner to throw that fleece blanket over me and watch some TV.

The only time I got up was to get those other two baby bottles and drink them before Kimmie got home, which of course gave me the pleasure of sitting in my chair and wetting myself profusely a number of times.  What fun!  It would just be more fun without that steel contraption attached to my nether regions.

“Gramps!” I’m home.

Kimmie.  I looked at the clock.  She was only a few minutes later than usual, which in itself was usual.  She often had to stay later for different reasons.  A minute later, she was walking toward me…and I nearly came out of my chair in shock.  She wasn’t alone.  There was a guy following her.  I started to yell, but that damn pacifier had my mouth plugged.

“Gramps,” Kimmie said as she stopped in front of me.  “This is Kyle.  He’s the guy I’ve been going out with.”

I looked back and forth between the two of them a few times in desperate fear.  Finally, I pulled that plug from my mouth.  “Kimmie.  What are you doing?”

She smiled.  “Don’t worry Gramps.  He knows all about you.”

“He what?” I roared.

“He’s here to help me with some of the stuff that came in today.”

“Help…  But Kimmie…”

“Kyle is the computer teacher at the school.  Isn’t that cool?”

I again looked back and forth between them.  Kyle simply looked a me with a very amused look on his face.  But then, my body was still covered up by my blanket…and I was glad!

Kimmie turned to walk away.  “Come on Kyle, let’s open those boxes.”  She turned back toward me.  “Pizza tonight Gramps.  That’s why we’re late.”

The two of them were soon gone…from in front of me, but not from my house!

As soon as they were gone from the living room, I got out of my chair and hurried straight into my bedroom, where I closed the door behind me.  What was I going to do?  Why, why, why had she brought him here?  It wasn’t right.  I didn’t want him here.  I didn’t want or ask for any of this.  And now she had brought a total stranger right here, into my house and let him see.  Fortunately, most of me had been covered by my blanket.

I laid down on my bed and fumed over the issue, and worried about it even more.  Yeah, I really was going to kill Kimmie one of these days.  Darn woman!

And then my door suddenly opened and both Kimmie and Kyle came in.  “What are you doing?” I asked, shocked that they would not only invade my personal space, but that now Kyle could see me in all my stupid glory.  But what caught my attention even more, was the stuff they were carrying.  Kimmie had a box in her hands, and Kyle was carrying my stepladder that they must have gotten out of the workshop garage out in the backyard…that Kimmie had locked me out of.  If Kyle had looked like he was amused before, it was nothing like the way he looked at me now.

Instead of answering my question, Kimmie said, “I put a bottle out for you next to the pizza.  Drink it.  And Gramps, go get something to eat.  We’re going to be a while.”

“A while?  Doing what?”

“Go eat.  You’ll see soon enough,” she told me.

Not wanting to be in the same room with them, especially Kyle, I stuck my pacifier back in my mouth, got up, and left.  Yeah, there was a bottle of that blue stuff sitting right next to the three pizza boxes on the counter.  I grabbed a slice of pizza and the bottle while my mind whirled with everything that was suddenly going on…in my house…in front of the way I was dressed!  Um…I couldn’t eat or drink anything until I pulled that darn pacifier from my mouth.  I only got a little of the pizza sauce on it before I realized that.

By the time they came out of my room, I had finished two slices of pizza, drank about half that dumb bottle, and was back in my chair watching TV, with the blanket over me while I sipped from the bottle.  They came out bringing the stepladder and a couple of empty boxes with them. 

Kimmie stopped and looked around.  “Maybe we should do here next,” Kimmie decided, still looking around the room.

“Fine,” Kyle replied.  “It’s got to be done anyway.”

“Yeah, and if we do it now, then Gramps can get back to watching TV in peace while we do the rest of the house.”

Rest of the house?  What were they doing?

“We’re done in your room,” Kimmie told me.  “But you can stay here and watch TV if you want.  You won’t bother us.”

Won’t bother them?  Well, they were certainly bothering me.

“Where do you think?” Kimmie asked Kyle.  The two of them seemed to discuss things for a bit. 

Instead of watching the TV, I watched as Kyle set up the step ladder in the corner of the room across from where the TV was.  He climbed up to the ceiling there with a box Kimmie had handed him.  And then he started fastening something to the ceiling there in the corner.  It only took him a few minutes.  I got the impression he had done that before.  When he climbed down from the stepladder, he and Kimmie fussed over her phone for a while, doing…something.  I couldn’t tell what.  I stared at that thing he had attached to the ceiling.  And then it dawned on me what it was.  A camera!

“A camera?” I exclaimed, coming half out of my chair.

“Of course,” Kimmie replied.  “I told you, I think they’ll be great.  I can monitor you from school with my phone to make sure you’re okay.”

Somehow, I didn’t think that was the real reason for the cameras.

“We’re putting them all over the house,” she added.  “Well, downstairs anyway.  That way I can see you wherever you go.”

“Wherever I go?  I’m gonna go crazy!”

She laughed, then turned to Kyle.  “Let’s do the kitchen next.  And we still have to figure out what to do with the extra cameras.”

Extra cameras?  I didn’t even want to think about that.  Two minutes later, Kimmie was in front of me.  She grabbed my pacifier from the table next to me and stuck it in my mouth.  “Suck!” she ordered, then watched until I complied.  She shook her head.  “We really need to teach you how to suckle properly.  But not tonight.”  She turned and walked off toward the kitchen.

Without leaving my chair, I followed their progress all around the downstairs level of the house.  And I mean everywhere, including the laundry room and garage!  They even went out to the porch, and although I couldn’t see it, I thought they might have put a camera on the outside patio.  While they were out there, I chanced getting up long enough to grab another slice of pizza.  I was well sequestered under my blanket long before they came back inside.  But they didn’t stay inside very long.  They went out the front door and put another camera there.

Finally, they came back inside…then went out the back door again.  When they came back, the ladder was gone.  They were both soon gone, upstairs to Kimmie’s room.  They weren’t up there too long.  Right at eight o’clock, Kyle stayed in the kitchen while Kimmie pulled me out of  my chair and dragged me into my bedroom.  I got changed and diapered for the night.  I expected her to put me to bed but she told me I could watch TV until nine o’clock.  I went back to the TV and both Kimmie and her boyfriend disappeared upstairs again.

My new bedtime came and Kimmie was back, this time with Kyle watching.  She dragged me in my undignified state out of the living room and put me to bed.  While I waited for her to bring me my bottle, my eyes locked onto the new addition to my room, the camera in the corner of the ceiling.  Could they see me with the light off?  I hoped not.  A few minutes later, the light was off and I was drinking my warm bottle of milk.

Cameras.  Watched.  Suddenly, my house felt more like a prison.  Come to think of it, I hadn’t been out of it in forever, except for those few trips to the grocery store.  But I wasn’t sure I wanted to get out of it.  Except…now it felt more like a prison than ever, and I wanted to be away from it.  Away from my house.  Away from all the things I had to put up with in my life, and away from Kimmie…oh yeah, and her boyfriend.  Away from it all!

Darn woman.

 

Gramps - Chapter 11

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 11

 

Change is inevitable.  There’s a lot of things that are true about change, but the fact that it’s going to happen whether you like it or not is certainly one of them.  It’s also a fact that people generally don’t like change.  They resist it.  But not me.  At least not then.  I wanted change – badly!  I wanted out of that overly squishy, nasty, smelly, dirty diaper.  And I wanted out of it now!  I wanted to be changed!

Okay.  Let’s back up just a tiny bit. 

Yeah, yeah, Kimmie dressed me as always in the morning, yada, yada, yada.  Just the same sweatshirt on top that I had worn the day before.  In fact, everything she put me in was the same thing I had worn the day before.  Not my diaper of course.  That was a new one.

Once again though, when she was finished, she made the comment about needing to get me some bras to wear.  I mentally screamed!  But I didn’t say a word about it.  Just like I didn’t say anything about the pacifier that wasn’t in my mouth again.  I should make a small mention though that the stockings that got pulled up my now shaven legs felt a bit different.  I won’t say nicer.  No, I refuse to say that!  Got it?  But when she walked out of the room to get ready for work, I ran my hands with their embarrassingly pink fingernails over those stockings on my legs.  No!  I will not say they felt nice!  End of story!

I headed out of my room toward the kitchen, intent on getting some breakfast and coffee.  Um…did you realize that you can’t drink coffee with a pacifier in your mouth?  That was another good reason why I needed the coffee!  And the breakfast.

Kimmie came downstairs five minutes later.  “Okay Gramps,” she said as she walked over and gave me a hug.  “I filled all five of your baby bottles and put them in the refrigerator.  Make sure you finish them all before I get home this afternoon.” 

I stared at her, totally surprised.  “You did what?”

She pointed at the refrigerator and looked me sternly in the eyes.  “Baby bottles.  Refrigerator.  Drink them all!”  Then she added, “Remember, no changes until two o’clock, and I’ll be asking for pictures again.  And…”  She looked confused for a moment.  “Where’s your pacifier?”

“I don’t know,” I tried.

“Go find it!  Right now.  And stick it in your mouth.  I’m not leaving until I see it where it belongs.”  When I didn’t move fast enough she raised her voice.  “Go!”

I went.  Ugh.  I found one of my two oversized pacifiers next to my chair in the living room.  I stuck it in my mouth and went back to her.  I tried to say, “Better?” but all that came out was, “Eheh.”

I think she was ignoring what I said.  She hugged me again and told me to make sure I kept it in my mouth all the time, except when I was eating or drinking something.  “And remember, I want to see drool in your pictures so I know you’re keeping it there.”

Drool.  I’d like to drool her!  I said nothing though.  With that pacifier in my mouth, she wouldn’t be able to understand what I said anyway.  She was soon gone and I was glad.  Darn woman!  Why did they always have to be so bossy?  Especially her!

I made myself something for breakfast.  And I also put a pod in the coffee maker and made a cup of coffee.  I pulled the plug from my mouth and sat down to eat and relax.  Ah!  Normality.  Normal that is, if you didn’t count that I was wearing a diaper, stockings, high heels, and my fingernails were pink.  Um…but for my life?  Yeah, it was totally normal.

Since I knew Kimmie was going to be texting to ask for pictures, probably wanting to see my pacifier first, as soon as I was done eating, I stuck the pacifier back in my mouth.  I was really getting tired of it being there.  Twenty minutes later, she texted asking for pictures of my pacifier.  I held my phone up in front of my mouth and took a picture and sent it to her.  She sent back a text saying she didn’t see any drool, so she knew I had taken it out of my mouth.

I sent back a one-word message.  Breakfast.  Funny, I got no reply.  But less than an hour later, she wanted another picture.  Yeah, yeah, this one plainly showed the drool running down my chin.  I absolutely hated the feel of that drool, just like I was starting to hate sucking on that damn plug all the time.

There were five baby bottles in the refrigerator that she said I had to drink.  Why?  Didn’t she realize that drinking those things would reduce the amount of time I spent sucking on that stupid overly large pacifier that filled my mouth?  With five bottles though, I figured that maybe my best bet would be to spread them out throughout the day.

About an hour after breakfast, I went to the refrigerator.  The five bottles were easy to spot.  Since they were all together I couldn’t miss them.  I noticed that one of them appeared to contain milk.  The others all looked like they were filled with some of her sports drinks that she was so fond of.  I didn’t exactly feel like milk just then, so I grabbed one that had blue liquid in it.  As I stuck the bottle to my mouth, I considered the situation.  It was only about 9:30 in the morning.  If I drank one of those bottles say…every hour or so, I’d have them all done and out of the way by 1:30.  Then I could change my diaper only half an hour later.  Perfect!  Yes, I knew my diaper would probably be soaked from all that extra liquid, but I’d only have to wear it that way for a little while.  Yes!  No matter how I looked at it, it seemed to be a really good idea.

Wrong!

Look.  I don’t know what those sports drinks did to me, but they kept me peeing…a lot!  And trust me, after wearing diapers for as long as I had now, peeing in them was no problem at all.  It had not only gotten easier with time, it was now too easy.  There were times when I barely knew I was doing it.  But not that day.  That day I fully realized every time I needed to pee, and I knew I had to pee badly every time, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to hold it back at all.  Not that holding it back was even anything I considered anymore.  Why should it be?  I had no choice but to go in my diaper, and I was always wearing a diaper.  Yeah, peeing in my diaper had gotten a lot easier for me since I started all this.  Too easy.

Uh…sorry, I got a bit off track there.  Let’s see.  Oh yeah, those damn sports drinks.  By lunchtime my diaper was already a squishy mess between my legs.  And not only that, but I seemed to be drooling more than usual too.  After three bottles of that stuff in just three hours, I seemed to have too much liquid in my body, and it was coming out of me all over.

By the time I went in to make myself something for lunch, my diaper was super saturated.  That was a problem, but it soon became only a minor distraction compared to something else.  As I was fixing my lunch, my bowels decided they wanted to get into the act as well.  All I was doing was walking across the kitchen when the feeling hit me that I needed to go.  But that feeling hit me hard.  I stood there fighting with it, but like with peeing, I soon gave up.  Like with peeing, I was wearing a diaper.  Why should I bother trying to suffer with holding back so much?  In no time it was a major case of…yuck!  In moments my diaper wasn’t just a saturated mess, it was a stinky, smelly, nasty mess.

When you’re wearing a diaper, it’s hard to tell exactly how much comes out of you sometimes, but that time I knew for certain that it was a lot.  Ewww!  Oh, I already said yuck.  But I meant both of those things.  Eww!  Yuck!  Ugh!  And a whole lot of other words that mean basically the same thing.

Forget lunch!  All I wanted was to get changed!  Did I happen to mention change earlier?

I looked at the clock.  Noon.  Kimmie had been harping at me not to change until two.  Yeah, okay, I tried to put off changing for a few minutes, but that diaper was simply too much of a mess.  It was too uncomfortable.  Not to mention I wasn’t overly fond of the smell.  I had to put up with that smell often, and I was always glad to change and be rid of it.  And since Kimmie had stopped putting the plastic pants on me, that smell had only gotten more noticeable.  This time, it was especially true.

Kimmie always said that she would punish me if I didn’t do what she wanted.  But she never had.  Besides, if she did try to punish me, what could she possibly do?  Mostly, a lot of nothing.  I already had pink fingernails.  I already had a shaved body.  I already wore diapers all the time, not to mention had to use them.  What could she do?

Realizing that, and wanting very much to get out of that overly messy diaper, I headed for my bathroom.  Most of the time I didn’t take another shower in the afternoon to get myself clean again, but sometimes I did.  This was one of those times when I felt it was necessary.

If I wasn’t going to take a shower, I wouldn’t have had to undress completely, but the shower made undressing necessary.  After removing what little clothes I had on, I got into the shower before peeling myself out of that diaper so it would limit the mess.  I was glad I had done that much.  I washed myself thoroughly, then I stuck that smelly diaper into the diaper pail trash.  After just doing that, I went back into the shower to clean myself again.

By the time I was completely dressed and came out of my room, Kimmie had texted me several times wondering why I hadn’t answered her texts and sent me some pictures.  In fact, she was getting worried about me.  She thought maybe I had hurt myself somehow.  I texted back that I was fine, then I sent her a picture of my fresh diaper and another one of the plug in my mouth, even though there was no sign of any drool.

I didn’t get an answer from her for another hour.  I guess she had a class or something.  But when I got that answer, it came in the form of a phone call instead of a text.  When my phone rang, I naturally answered it.  “Hello?”

“Gramps!” Kimmie’s angry voice came back.  “You changed your diaper, and it’s not two o’clock yet.  I told you, no changes until two!  And I didn’t see one bit of drool in that pacifier picture either.  What’s going on?”

“What’s going on?  Kimmie, I was a mess, and it was awful.  I had to change.  I couldn’t stand being in that diaper any longer.”

“Aw!  Poor baby.  Can’t put up with a bit of shit in the back of his diaper.”

“It was more than a bit.  Trust me.”

“We’ll talk about this when I get home Gramps.  Now send me a pacifier picture, and there had better be some drool on your chin.”

Ugh!

When Kimmie got home that evening, I was in my chair where I usually was, fleece blanket covering my embarrassingly dressed body and the pacifier still between my lips.  I had gone ahead and finished the other two baby bottles and once again my diaper was getting pretty saturated.  Fortunately, no stinky mess.  Kimmie marched herself straight up to my chair and stood between me and the TV.  “Okay Gramps,” she said.  “You know perfectly well that I didn’t want you changing until two o’clock, but you did.”

I pulled the pacifier out and threw it on the end table next to me.  “Kimmie, I needed it.”

“Tough!” she replied angrily.  “I wanted you to enjoy that mess.”

“Trust me, I wasn’t enjoying it at all.  That’s why I changed.”

She shook her head.  “I can see we’re going to need to do something so you get the point that you’re the baby in this relationship, and I’m the adult.  Babies don’t make decisions and they do what they’re told!”

“Kimmie…”

“Which one of us wears the baby diapers?” she threw back sternly.  “Which one of us sucks on a baby pacifier?” she threw out as well.  “Which one of us then is a baby?”  She stared me down for a moment then turned.  “I’ll be right back.”

I watched her leave.  As far as I was concerned, she could stay away.  Unfortunately, she came back.  This time with a bag in her hand.  She came right up to my chair, blocking the TV again.  She reached down and pulled my blanket off my body in one angry swoosh.  “Up!” she ordered.

I looked at her angrily, but she didn’t wait even a moment.  She reached out, grabbed one of my arms, and pulled…hard!  She literally pulled me out of that chair, and I hadn’t even lowered the footrest.  She kept her hold on my arm and pulled me right into my bedroom where she literally pushed me onto my bed.  Was she going to change my diaper?  Now?  Maybe she was going to put my night diaper on me.  But all those thoughts were wrong.  With that bag still in her hand, she climbed up on the bed and sat on me!  Backwards!  So that all I could see was her back.

“Kimmie!  What are you doing?”

“Hush!” she said sternly with her back to me.  “And where’s your pacifier?”

“By my chair,” I told her.

“Why isn’t it in your mouth where it belongs?”

“Because I was trying to talk to you when you pulled me out of my seat.”

She said nothing for a moment, then replied, “We’ll get it as soon as I’m done here.”

“What are you doing?” I asked again.

“Hush!  And I mean it,” she yelled, her back still to me.

She was heavy, sitting on my chest, but at least she was far enough down that I could still breathe…somewhat.  It was just difficult.  With her body holding me down and blocking my view, I couldn’t see what she was doing, but I felt her unfastening my diaper and pulling it down between my legs.  Then I heard her opening that bag she had brought.  What was in it?

Suddenly, I felt her grabbing my penis, and a moment later, I got the shock of my life when it felt like she was trying to push something right up inside it.  It had to be the weirdest feeling in the world.

“Kim…Kim…stop…Kimmie…what are you doing?”

“Hush!” she yelled again.

Whatever she was doing stopped, and a moment later I felt something else new.  Something cold was pushed up under my balls and around the top of my penis and then she was squeezing that something awfully tight.  “Kimmie…” I started to say and then grunted at the pressure she was exerting on me down there.

“I told you to hush!  Don’t say a word.”

“But…”

“Hush!”

I tried to push her off me, but with her legs straddling my body I couldn’t budge her an inch.  And then I felt something cold and hard pushing against the tip of my penis where she had inserted whatever it was.  And that pushing kept going, pushing harder and harder, further and further.  Crushing my penis down the length of it.  I felt her doing something else that I couldn’t figure out, and then her hands were gone and my penis felt like it was still all scrunched up.  I tried pushing her body up with my stomach again, but as before, I got nowhere.  In fact, as far as I could tell, she was ignoring my efforts.

She leaned down and grabbed my legs and pulled them up…high!  Way up.  Pulling my butt off the bed.  She held everything there like that with one arm while her other arm snaked under me then came back again.  Then she let my legs drop.

“Oof!” I grunted.  I expected her to tell me to hush, but she was too intent on what she was doing.  Then her hands were back on that thing again and I realized she had pulled some kind of strap under my bottom that she was now trying to attach to that thing on my cock.  And she pulled…and pulled.  Making that strap tighter and tighter, and consequently forcing that thing on my cock to dig further and further into my body.  She leaned down and spent a few moments doing something else, then her hands were gone again and everything stayed just like it was.

Yes, yes.  I had looked at all the porn on the internet.  It was one of my favorite pastimes…still.  I had figured out pretty quickly that she had put some kind of chastity device on my cock.  I could tell from how cold and heavy it was that it was metal, and I could tell by how scrunched up my cock was that it was small.  Maybe very small.

And then, while she was still sitting on top of me, she reached down and pulled that same soaked diaper up between my legs again and firmly fastened the thing in place.  Why couldn’t she at least have put a fresh diaper on me?  It was still hours until I’d get my night diaper.

“There,” she said as she patted the front of my diaper.  She sounded awfully satisfied.  I certainly wasn’t!  Finally, she climbed off me.

“What the hell was that?” I demanded.

She shook her head.  “I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now,” she told me.

I sat up on the bed.  “You locked me up!”

She giggled.  “Yeah.  I did.  I figured I needed a good way to punish you, so I bought that thing.”  She laughed again.  “I’ve been dying for a chance to use it on you.”

“Take it off!”

She laughed again.  “Gramps.  You know better than to ask.  You already know it’s not coming off until I take it off.”

“When?” I demanded angrily.

“Oh…I think about a week should do it…unless you’re bad again.  Then I’ll add more days.”  Once again she laughed.  “Knowing you, you might never get out of it.”

I was fuming.  Damn woman!

“I’m sure you could tell that that thing isn’t exactly very big,” she said.

I just glared back at her angrily.  She didn’t appear to care.

“That chastity device is not just the smallest, but the flattest one I could find, so that hopefully you’ll get the idea that when you’re wearing it, you don’t have a penis at all.  In fact, that’s how I want you to think about it.  I want you to forget that you’ve got a penis.  Maybe you never did.  Won’t that be fun?”

Fun?  She had to be kidding.  “For who?”

“You!  And me,” she added with another little laugh.  “Now go find your pacifier.  And then you can help me make dinner.”

Darn woman!

As I grabbed my pacifier, my other hand was busy trying to feel whatever I could through that diaper.  Strangely, I couldn’t feel much of anything at all.  I prodded as much as possible, but there was just nothing big enough to tell me anything.  In fact, I couldn’t feel anything much under that wet diaper at all, especially not my penis.  For all intents and purposes, the thing felt like it was gone.  Kimmie had said she was doing all of this sissy baby stuff so I could enjoy it and have some fun.  What kind of fun was I going to have now?  None!

It didn’t take me long to realize that for some unknown reason, I couldn’t seem to hold back as much as I could before whenever I needed to pee.  I had felt her putting something up inside my penis when she put that thing on me.  Probably a tube of some sort.  I was guessing that tube was the reason for that.  Just great.  My diapers would probably be wetter than ever.  Not what I needed.

That night, I was intently watching TV, trying desperately to ignore that darn thing she had locked onto me, not to mention ignore my pink fingernails, not to mention ignore…oh, you get the picture.  Ignore it all.  The TV show was interesting at least, but halfway through it, right at eight thirty, Kimmie suddenly turned the TV off.  She got up from her chair and stood in front of me.

I pulled out my pacifier to ask the question.  “What’s going on?”

She held out her hand toward me.  “Come on Gramps.  Let’s go.”

I let the footrest down on my chair.  “Go where?”

“To your room of course.  It’s time for your nighttime diaper.”

I sat there and stared up at her.  “But it’s only eight thirty.”

“Yeah.  And it’s time to change you for bed.  Now let’s go.”

There was more than a bit of a staring match between the two of us before I got out of the chair.  Holding my hand like a child, she led me into the bedroom.  “Paci!” she ordered without turning around to look at me.

I wanted to hit her, but I stuck the darn pacifier back into my mouth.

Diaper off, diaper on…yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  I tried to get a bit of a look at that thing she had put on me, but on my back I couldn’t really see anything.  My hand tried to touch it, but all I felt was something totally flat before she knocked my hand away.

“Don’t bother,” she told me.  “There’s nothing there for you to see or feel anymore.”  She leaned over toward my head and looked me right in the eyes.  “Nothing!”  Then she went back to getting me ready for bed.

When she was done, I expected to go out to the living room to continue watching TV, but Kimmie had other ideas.  “No you don’t!” she told me.  “You were bad today.  You can go to bed now, not later.”

“But…” I started to say, even though with that pacifier in my mouth, the only thing that came out was more like, “Uh!”

“Ten o’clock is too late a bedtime for babies anyway.  From now on we’re going to make it a bit earlier.  But tonight, your bedtime is now.  So climb in.”

She stood there staring me down until I got into bed.  She arranged the covers over my body, then said, “I’ll be back in a minute with your bottle.”

While she was gone, my hands tried to do more exploring of that thing she put on me, but even though my diaper was now dry, it was a thicker diaper than before and I could tell even less than with the last one.

A few minutes later, my light was off and I was nursing on a bottle of warm milk.  My mind was in overdrive.  As soon as that bottle was finished, I rolled over and tried my best to hump the mattress.  I tried and tried.  I tried this, and I tried that, but it all had the same result.  Nothing.  I couldn’t get any stimulation or even pressure to any part of me under that diaper at all.  I went at it uselessly for a while before I gave up.

Now what was I going to do?  And worse, my predicament had me more turned on and needful than I wanted to be.  It was a no-win situation.  How was I going to deal with it?  What was I going to do?

I was going to kill that woman one of these days.  Darn woman!