Elinor - Prolog and Chapter 1

 

Elinor

By Karen Singer

 

Prologue

 

He looked at his daughter and said, “I know you don’t realize it, but not only has almost nobody ever heard of her, but she’s been such a recluse that very few people in the world have seen her in many, many years.  Despite that, she’s become one of the most powerful people in the world.  The fact that she asked you to come is a great honor.  So just answer all her questions as well as you can.  And remember…be polite!”

“Daddy!  You know I’m always polite.”

He looked at her skeptically.

“Okay, most of the time.  So what’s her name again?”

“You don’t need to know her name.  In fact, it’s better if you don’t know.  Just remember that her decisions affect literally billions of people in the world, even though nobody knows it.  Your answers could very well affect what she does in the future.”

“Me?”

“Yes dear.  You!  Now, are you ready?”

“Sure.  I guess.  Why not?”

Remember, just be…polite.”

“Dad, don’t worry.”

He nodded towards the man guarding the door.  The guard opened the door and let the woman walk through, then he closed the door behind her.

The last place she expected to find herself was in a bedroom.  Further examination showed her that the woman she had come to meet was by far the last person she ever expected to find.

“Come,” the voice said so softly, she could barely hear it.  She saw the woman wave her hand, motioning her over.

The woman wasn’t just old, she was very old.  And she was holding an oxygen mask against her face to help her breathe.  She was sitting in a cushioned chair with blankets covering her body.  Another chair was directly in front of her.  A small table with a collection of drinks was next to the empty chair.

“Sit, my dear,” the woman said, motioning toward the chair opposite her.

She sat, unable to take her eyes off the elderly woman.  This old lady controlled the lives of billions?

The old woman motioned toward the small table next to the chair.  “Forgive my breathing,” the old woman said before taking a breath.  “I’m due for one of my treatments.”  She took a breath.  “And it’s always much worse until I get it.”  She motioned toward the table.  “There’s hot tea there for you…”  She took another breath.  “Or tequila, or a very good red or white wine.”  She breathed.  “Whatever you wish.”

The younger woman watched as the old woman continued to struggle to breathe.  “I’m good,” she said, waving off the offered drinks.  “What can I do for you?”

“I understand that you know more about someone than anyone else.”  She immediately held the oxygen mask tightly against her face and breathed again.

The young woman was surprised and unsure how to answer.  “I know a lot about a lot of people.”

The old woman waved her comment aside.  “I only want to know about one.”

“Who?”

The old woman leaned forward to answer.  She removed the oxygen mask from her face and said, “Elinor.”

The young woman was shocked.  “Elinor!”

The old woman leaned back in her chair again and pressed the mask to her face.  “Tell me about her.”

“Elinor,” the young woman repeated.

“Tell me everything,” the old woman requested.

They young woman shook her head.  “Where do I start?”

“The beginning.  All of it.”

“Yeah but…still,” she replied as she tried to figure out what to say.  And then the starting point made itself clear.  She focused her eyes on the old woman in front of her and said, “The first time Elinor ever killed a man, the man had laughed at her and called her a bitch.  Elinor raised her gun and shot him dead.  I understand that was the first time she had ever fired a gun, but she fired it and killed him without hesitation.  And then she said, I’m not woman enough for him to call me a bitch yet.  But I’m getting there.  And that of course, is the one thing that very few people know about Elinor.  She may look like a woman, and she even acts like a woman, but she’s not a woman.  Not at all.  In fact, she never wanted to be a woman.  She still doesn’t want to be a woman.  But she’s simply stuck having to be one with no way out.  She’s…trapped.  And then of course, I’m sure you know that what she became after that was really something, because it was an absolute bitch.”

The old woman’s eyes were almost maniacal now as she again pulled the mask from in front of her face and leaned forward.  “Tell me…everything!”

 

 

Chapter 1

 

I moved around the shelves of my Albuquerque computer store adjusting any little thing that looked out of place.  There wasn’t anything, but I had little else to do, and my store had only been open for a week now.  So far, since opening the store, I had sold a grand total of three computers, and a small assortment of peripheral items to go with them.  Not much business for an entire week’s work.  But the store was still new, and despite the advertisements I paid for, the store was unknown.  Hopefully, things would get better soon.  Hopefully!

The door suddenly opened and I looked up to see a woman enter along with a large man.  “Can I help you?” I asked hopefully.

“You’re new,” the woman said.

“Just opened last week,” I told her proudly, looking the woman over.  I placed her as probably in her early fifties.  Was it my imagination, or did it look like something was bothering her?  “I’m Rowan,” I told her.  “The owner of this store.  What can I do for you?”

“I’m Elinor, Mr. Germo’s personal assistant,” she replied.  “I’ve finally convinced Mr. Germo that our current computer is outdated and needs replacing.  I’m looking for someone who can make recommendations on everything, an entire new setup.  We need multiple computers, someone to install them and maintain it all, including security.  And just so you know up front, security is of utmost importance to us.”

“Oh,” I said happily, realizing that this sounded like a business account.  “I can certainly do all that.  I’m kind of a specialist with systems of all kinds.”

“So why should we hire you instead of just going to one of the big brand stores?”

I shrugged.  “I can do it all.  And I guarantee my work.  I can also offer better personal service than those other places.”

The woman seemed to take that in.  “Fine!” she declared.  “Mr. Germo likes personal service.  But be warned, he will hold you accountable for all of it.”

“Ready and willing,” I told her happily, already seeing the dollar signs this could bring in.  “Can I show you some information on a couple of systems I prefer dealing with?”

“Fine,” she said again.

Was it my imagination, or did her face look a bit paler than it had a moment ago?  Possibly distressed.  Definitely my imagination.  “I’ll be right back,” I told her.  I hurried to my office in the back room and started searching through the advertising brochures I had in there.  I stopped though when there was a large crash from out front.  I hurried back out to where the customer was.  When I got there, I stopped and stared in horror.  “What happened?” I asked the man.

The man didn’t answer, instead he seemed to be staring in disbelief.  One of the display shelves had somehow fallen over and had landed on top of the woman.  She appeared to be unconscious.  I ran to her to find out if she was hurt, but I was quickly stopped by the man when he suddenly pulled a gun on me.  “No!” he growled, acting like he was ready to shoot me.

I watched as the man knelt down to check on the unconscious woman.  A moment later, he placed two fingers on the side of her neck feeling for a pulse.  “Shit!” he cursed softly.

“Is she…is she…dead?” I asked.

There was seething anger on his face as he pointed the gun at me again.  I could see that the man really wanted to kill me, but something seemed to be holding him back.  I was simply scared for my life.  The man finally stood up, still pointing the gun at me.  He reached out and grabbed me by my arm and pulled hard, then pushed me toward the door.  “Out!” he ordered.

I didn’t understand what was happening.  “What do you mean?  We have to call the police.  Or an ambulance at least.”

“Out!” he ordered again, but his order was immediately followed by him swinging the gun at my head.  I suddenly felt a horrendous pain and saw stars.  A moment later, I blacked out as I fell to the floor.

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

 

The pain in my skull was sharp and horrible.  It was finally enough to bring me out of my unconscious state to…blackness and confusion.  Oww!  It took me a moment to put everything together enough to fully realize I was in the trunk of a car, and the car was moving.  What?  What was going on?  In desperation, I pounded on the wall of the trunk that I realized had to be the back of the rear seat, but it didn’t seem to do much.  I kicked at the trunk lid over top of me, but no matter how much I kicked it didn’t seem to do anything either.  Try as I might, I could find no way to either open the trunk or push through into the back seat.  The car just kept moving.  What was happening?

I remembered that woman coming into the shop with the big man.  I had gone to get some information to show her, and somehow one of his shelves had fallen over on top of her.  How?  That should have been impossible!  But the fallen shelf had killed her.  And now, suddenly, I was here in the trunk of this car, travelling to who-knows-where.  Why?

Nothing made any sense!

With little choice, I stopped kicking and just laid there, holding my aching head.

The car seemed to keep going and going and going.  A long time.  I felt every time the car turned or stopped.  Finally, it seemed to stop again, and I felt the faint vibration from the engine cease.  I was guessing we were there, wherever there was.  I heard a car door open and then heard the door close again.  A moment later, the trunk opened and bright light blinded me.  I saw the big man there.  “Out!” he ordered, just before he reached in and grabbed me by my shirt.  With one gigantic pull, my entire body was pulled from the trunk of the car.  The man turned me around and grabbed me by the back of my neck and the back of my shirt.  “March!” he ordered as he literally pushed me toward a junky looking concrete building.

Something caught my attention though as I was being forced toward the building.  I looked into the car.  There, in the back seat, the woman who had died in my shop appeared to be just sitting there.  Was she indeed dead?  She wasn’t moving.

The man opened the door and pushed me inside.  In the middle of the room was a metal chair that I noticed was bolted to the concrete floor.  I was pushed into it, and the man quickly grabbed my arms and pulled them around behind the chair.  Faster than I could believe, I felt the man putting something on my wrists, binding my arms behind the chair.  “No!  No!” I shouted as I struggled, but my struggling and pleas did no good.  After that, the man knelt down in front of me and tied my ankles to the front legs of the chair.  “Stop!  Please!” I pleaded.  But again, the man didn’t seem to care.  “Why?” I asked.  But I got no answer at all.

And then the man walked out, leaving me there.  Totally confused, I had no choice but to sit there and wait a very, very long time.

The spot where the man had hit me with the gun still hurt horribly, but now my entire body seemed to hurt from being tied to the chair for so long.  I was scared out of my wits, and I didn’t know what to do about it.  I no longer even cared about anyone telling me why, I simply wanted to be set free so I could go home.  And I’d walk whatever distance we had come if I had to.

The door opening caught my full attention, and I saw three men come in, then close the door behind them.  One of those men was the man who had hit me with his gun.  As the men got closer, I noticed that all three of them had guns.

“This is the man?” one of them asked as he looked me over.

“That’s him, Mr. Germo” the big man confirmed.

“Now what exactly happened Stan?”

“I’m not totally sure,” the big man replied.  “He had said he could handle the whole computer business and then went off to the back room to get some stuff for her to look at.  Elinor wandered over to look at some of the stuff on one of the shelves, when she suddenly reached out and grabbed it like…  Mr. Germo, something suddenly just seemed to hit her.  Something physically inside, I think.  I was worried just before we walked into the store that there might be something bothering her, but I didn’t know what.  And when I asked earlier if she was okay, she just said yes, she was fine.  But when whatever it was suddenly hit her in the store, she grabbed the shelf and pulled hard enough that the whole thing came crashing down on top of her.”

“And she died,” Germo said.

“I’m sorry,” Stan told him.  “But sir, I’m not sure how that shelf fell like it did.  It looked like it was plenty stable enough.  I wouldn’t have thought it would fall like that.”

“I don’t care.  But you are right, no matter what, it shouldn’t have fallen.  And it especially shouldn’t have fallen on her!”

“True,” Stan agreed.

The third man there asked, “Do you think she may have had a heart attack or something?”

“I think it may have been something like that.  But still, no matter how hard she grabbed that shelf, it shouldn’t have fallen on her like it did.”

The third man nodded.  “No.  It shouldn’t have.”

“Either way, Mateo,” Germo told him, “someone has to pay.”

“I agree,” Mateo, the third man told him.

“Absolutely!” Stan agreed.  “And it was his shop.”

“Which makes him responsible,” Germo finished.

“You’re talking about the woman who died,” I said.  “But it wasn’t…”  Faster than I thought possible, the man’s fist lashed out, and I received a jaw dropping punch to the side of my head.  It took me a moment to get my wits even halfway back again.

“If I want you to say something, I’ll ask!” Germo told me sternly.

I was still reeling from the punch.

“Your shelf fell on top of my personal assistant,” he said.  “That shouldn’t have happened!”

I shook my head.  “I don’t know how it happened.  It shouldn’t have been able to fall.”

“Which is exactly right!” he told me.  “It shouldn’t have been able to fall!  But it did, right on top of her.  And now she’s dead.  And the only person I can blame, is you!”

“But…”  And then his fist lashed out again and it seemed like my entire head exploded in pain.

“What do you do?” he asked before I could fully make sense of the question.

“I was just…looking for stuff to show her….”

This time he slapped my face.  “No!  What do you do?  What kind of work?”

“I’m…I’m a computer guy.  I just opened a store where I sell computers.  I’m a systems specialist.”

“I have no idea what that is, and I don’t care,” he told me.

I wondered why he had asked.

“Where do you come from?”

“Chicago,” I told him.

“Chicago!  What the hell are you doing down here?”

“Chicago is cold.  And miserable.  And just plain awful!  I wanted better weather and someplace not as packed with people.”

“So you chose Albuquerque?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Where it’s boiling hot and miserable?”

“At least it doesn’t rain or snow ninety percent of the time,” I countered.

“No.  It rarely rains at all.  So tell me mister computer guy, what the hell is a…”  He looked over at Mateo.  “What did he say he did?”

“A system something,” Mateo replied.

“Systems specialist,” I supplied.

“Yeah.  What the hell is that?” he asked.

“I look at computer systems.  The entire setup from start to finish, including the business that’s using them.  I make sure the systems match the business’s needs, and that it all works the way it’s supposed to.  And then I also try to figure out how to improve it all.”

“You look at the way things are supposed to work?” Germo asked, thinking about that.

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“And you make things work better, including the business?”

“That’s the general idea,” I told him.

“Just computers?  Or other things too?”

“I mostly know computer systems, but I guess I’ve always been pretty good at realizing how everything works.  It’s kind of a job requirement so I know how to configure the computers.”

“I see,” Germo said.  He suddenly pulled his gun from the waist of his pants and pointed it at my head.  “Too bad mister computer guy, but someone has to be punished for Elinor’s death.  And lucky you, you’re it.”

To my horror, I could literally see the man’s finger squeezing the trigger on his gun…when a cellphone rang and everyone turned toward Mateo, including Germo who had been about to shoot me.

“Yeah?” Mateo said into the cellphone.  He listened a moment then looked up at Germo.  “It’s Ramerez boss.  You’re supposed to be there for lunch right now, but you’re not.”

“Shit!” Germo cursed loudly.  “Why did it have to be Elinor?”

“Don’t know boss.  What do you want me to tell Ramerez?”

“Tell him I’ll be there as fast as I can.  I’ve got business to attend to and everything’s out of whack today.”

“Damn!” Germo swore again while Mateo talked on the phone.  “Elinor practically runs this place.  Why did she have to die?”

“She’s going to be difficult to replace,” Stan noted.

Despite my situation, I couldn’t help but snort a soft chuckle.  “Big man,” I muttered.  “Can’t even keep your own schedule straight.”

“What did you say?” Germo yelled as he pointed his gun right at my head again.

“Nothing!” I replied quickly, once again frightened out of my wits.

“You know so much about schedules?”

“No,” Rowan replied.

“Then why should you criticize me?” he asked threateningly as he pressed the barrel of his gun hard against my forehead.

“I’m sorry,” I pleaded, suddenly close to crying since I knew I was about to die.

“My life is busy.  It’s one thing after another.  Don’t criticize what you don’t know!”

“No,” I agreed.

“Shit!” Germo cursed as he looked over at Mateo and Stan.  “Why the hell am I arguing with this piece of shit.  I only came out here to kill him.”

“That was the plan boss,” Mateo agreed.

“Shit!” Germo said again, then turned his gun back toward my head.  “Tell me mister schedule system expert.  How would you fix all my business problems?”

I was surprised by the question, but I’d do anything to stay alive a moment longer.  “I…don’t know anything about your business, but I guess I’d try to put everything together as much as possible so that a computer program can keep track of it all.”

“A computer program!”

“Yes.  That’s what they do.  That’s what computers are best at.”

“And you can do that?”

“Uh…yeah,” I agreed, hoping for any chance to stay alive.  “I’m guessing it’s why that woman came to me in the first place.”

Germo stood there with his gun pointed at my head for a few moments while he considered things.  “Elinor came to you!” he said, thinking about that.  Then suddenly he pulled the gun away and turned to Stan.  “Stan, take Elinor here to her office.  I’ve got to go to lunch with Ramerez.  When I get back, we’ll see if she can at least keep my schedule straight for the rest of the day.”

Stan looked at him like he was crazy.  “Elinor?”

“That’s what I said Stan.  Elinor.  Come on Mateo.  I’m late for lunch.”

 

Another Story: Elinor

 Okay people.  As always, I’m NOT back again.  But, I’m going to post another story.  And once again it’s going to be one you’re not going to be interested in.  Too bad.  I don’t care. 

 I’ll probably try to post twice a week (Tuesdays and Fridays) again, but I can’t guarantee that.  I may wind up posting anytime or not at all.  Who knows.  As I said, I’m not back.

 Just so you know, I am working (slowly) on a couple of stories that I know you’d all be more interested in, but who knows if I’ll ever finish them.  The big main one is a difficult one to write.  So in the meantime, there’s this.

 This is the story I was going to publish on Kindle.  I just decided I didn’t want to bother doing that, but I still wanted to do something with it, so I’m sticking it here.  Like The Last Jeskey and Extracted, I think this is an absolutely fascinating story.  Maybe more so than the other two.  It’s also slightly on the long side, but that doesn’t matter much to me.  One other note, it may contain a few more little punctuation errors than I like.  I’ve edited it a bit, but not to the extent I’d prefer.  No matter what, if you bother to read it, I think you’ll enjoy it.

 Okay, so the story is simply titled:  Elinor.

 What’s it about?  Here we go, and as always, it’s difficult for me to explain these things.

 Some people are born with a destiny.  A destiny they can’t outrun no matter how hard they try.  That was Rowan’s problem.

Before his father died, Rowan’s father had been the biggest drug czar in Chicago, a world that Rowan had always hated, just like he had always hated his father (and mother).  Eventually, Rowan moved away from Chicago to Albuquerque, New Mexico, a place he figured would be the exact opposite of everything he hated about Chicago.  There, he opened a computer store.  In the store’s second week of business, a woman named Elinor walked into his store along with a large man.  But Elinor had the audacity to suddenly die right there in his store.

The big man kidnapped Rowan and dragged him down to a ranch far south of Albuquerque where the plan was to kill him.  But fate intervened and Rowan was given a strange choice, either die, or assume the role of Elinor, including dressing and acting like a woman.  Rowan’s new mantra in life quickly became:  Breathe.  Keep living.  Whatever it takes!

Rowan soon found himself right back in the drug world that he detested so much.  But this time he was in a very different part of that world.  Strangely though, Rowan’s new role in life turned out to be one he was very, very good at.  It’s just that other parts of his new life he wasn’t so good at.

But as it turned out, the biggest problem wasn’t him having to be Elinor.  The biggest problem was what he became next.

Breathe!  Keep living!  Whatever it takes!

 Excerpt from the Prolog of the book:

 She focused her eyes on the old woman in front of her and said, “The first time Elinor ever killed a man, the man had laughed at her and called her a bitch.  Elinor raised her gun and shot him dead.  I understand that was the first time she had ever fired a gun, but she fired it and killed him without hesitation.  And then she said, I’m not woman enough for him to call me a bitch yet.  But I’m getting there.  And that of course, is the one thing that very few people know about Elinor.  She may look like a woman, and she even acts like a woman, but she’s not a woman.  Not at all.  In fact, she never wanted to be a woman.  She still doesn’t want to be a woman.  But she’s simply stuck having to be one with no way out.  She’s…trapped.  And then of course, I’m sure you know that what she became after that was really something, because it was an absolute bitch.”

The old woman’s eyes were almost maniacal now as she again pulled the mask from in front of her face and leaned forward.  “Tell me…everything!”

  

The next post (if I get around to it) will begin the 44 chapters of:  Elinor.

Don't Know

 I’ve got nothing finished that you really want to read.  I do have a finished Karen Singer book that hopefully will make it to Amazon Kindle sometime next year, but it’s not close to being ready for that platform yet.  I could post it here, but what’s the point?  Not to mention, despite it being about a man who is forced to assume the role and life of a woman, it’s not about humiliation at all and as I said, nothing you want to read here.  I’ll probably post something about it here when I release it.  Just so you know, it’s called Elinor.  It’ll be a while though.  There are simply too many problems in my life that I have to deal with first.

I’m not planning on closing this blog down, I just have nothing worth posting.  If I do, I stick it up and maybe one or two people will find it.  But as I said, what’s the point?

A big thanks to you all for sticking with me.  Please try to be happy and healthy.

Karen

Gramps - Chapter 27

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 27

 

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…  How many things in our lives seem to evoke some kind of countdown towards an event?  Rockets going off.  New Year’s Eve.  And of course, the event in question here, Christmas.  It was Monday, and the countdown stood at three days before Christmas.  Christmas, an event I now feared more than anything else.

Kimmie and Ash…darn!  Mommy and Grandma had assured me that we weren’t going anywhere for Christmas.  We would be staying right here at home…her home, not mine.  But Grandma was quick to add that she couldn’t guarantee that some family members might show up even though we weren’t going to be part of any kind of family get-together.  Family was family after all.  It was possible that one or two might want to drop in, just to check on us and say merry Christmas. 

Since Thanksgiving, Ash had spent a lot of time decorating her house for the Christmas season, including a full-size fake Christmas tree in the corner of the living room where my toys were once again scattered.  The tree gave me less room to play in, but there was no kind of actual boundary to keep me from spilling into or playing in the rest of the room.

With my days consisting of mostly enforced “playtime,” playing with the baby toys was about all I had to do.  I’m pretty sure I mentioned not long ago that it was either learn to actually play with those dumb things or literally die of boredom.  Lately, it was the dollhouse that that seemed to grab my attention the most, after that, believe it or not, that stupid singing doll.  With nothing better to do, I would press the buttons and listen to her sing stupid kiddie songs to me for hours at a time.  Trust me, it was a far cry from listening to the usual kind of music I liked, but it was all I had.

Monday morning brought about a slight change in Kimmie’s usual routine to get me dressed.  In the process, she removed my earrings, cleaned them and my earlobes, then stuck the things back in my ears again so I could “enjoy” them.  How could I enjoy them?  Not only could I not see them, but whenever I laid my head down too far to the side, the posts in the back dug into me and hurt.  Some enjoyment.

Once again it was baby food for breakfast, baby food for lunch, and then I got fed a decent (and delicious) meal the same as everyone else for dinner.  No company at all that day.  Hooray.  The entire day was really nice, if you don’t count going nuts having nothing at all to do but play with baby toys.

But all that changed as soon as dinner was over.  Suddenly Ki…Mommy was all action as she got me redressed nicely.  I got a big bow in the back of my pulled back hair.  And I got taken out of the house into public again.  Why did they feel it was so necessary to do that to me every day?  I’ll never know.

This time, instead of shopping, we went to a church “living tree” Christmas concert.  The music was really nice.  The looks from the million or so people who saw me weren’t nice.  I don’t understand why Mommy and Grandma didn’t notice that at all.  Were they blind?  At least once the lights were turned down and the program began, nobody was paying any attention to me and I could actually enjoy it.  Like I said, it was really nice.  Better than I expected.

The best part?  We went straight home after that.  I was so glad!

 

Five, four, three, two…  Two days to go.  Tuesday.  Change my diaper.  Clean my ears.  Dress me in another skirt outfit.  Sit on the floor and play with the same old toys.  Baby food for lunch.  Play with more toys.  Take an enforced nap.  Play with toys again.  Have a good dinner like everyone else.  And go berserk when the doorbell rang.

My daughter Jenny and her daughter Madison walked in.  They said hi and Merry Christmas to Ash and…shit!  I mean, they said hi and Merry Christmas to Grandma and Mommy, then headed straight for me sitting on the living room floor in the middle of my toys.  Jenny bent down first.  “And how is little Diane today?” she asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.  “Give Aunt Jenny a big hug and kiss.”

Oh great!  Did she have to do that?  She hugged me and kissed me, then it was Aunt Madison’s turn.  She couldn’t stop laughing the entire time she hugged me.

Fortunately, we didn’t leave the house.  But a little while later, I got to join them in the kitchen while Grandma, Mommy, Aunt Jenny, and Aunt Maddy drank coffee and talked…WHILE I got to sit there with my hands spread out so Aunt Maddy could change my perennial pink nail polish to red for the Christmas season.  My fingernails had been a consistent pink for so long now that I had finally gotten used to it.  Now they wanted to change things up and make it even more difficult to not notice what color they were?  Darn women!

 

Three, two, one…  Wednesday.  The day before Christmas.  Christmas Eve.  It had started snowing the night before and we woke up to an inch of snow covering everything and it was still coming down.  My thoughts about it were that hopefully it would keep everyone, including my family, away from me tomorrow, Christmas day.

Mommy had other ideas.

After lunch she found me in my usual spot near the Christmas tree.  “Diane,” she said excitedly as if she was talking to a real toddler.

Uh-oh.  Where were we going now?

“It’s snowing out.”

Brilliant.  How did she figure that out?

Um…remember that Disney song from Frozen, “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?”  Guess what her exact words were to me.  Yup!  “Diane.  Do you want to build a snowman?”

Nope!

Mommy…aka Kimmie…aka my dear sweet granddaughter Kimberly, had not yet learned the art of reading minds.  So guess where we went.  Right.  She dressed me up somewhat warmly, and out we went into the snow.  Yes, believe it or not, she and I spent over an hour out there building snowmen.  Three of them.  One named Mommy.  One named Grandma.  And one named Diane.  At least the one of me wasn’t wearing a dress.

 

And we have liftoff…I mean Christmas!

Oh Christmas pee, oh Christmas pee, how lovely are thy…  Never mind.

From the start I was dressed nicer than usual.  When Mommy cleaned my ears that morning, my pink earrings got changed out for red ones that would not only match my nail polish, but the dress she planned on making me wear later.  Um…they matched my red shoes too, but we won’t bother mentioning that.

Except for changing my earrings, my day started off the same as every other day since we arrived, including the baby food for breakfast and lunch.  But after lunch Mommy undressed me  and put me into another new dress.  One that evidently she had ordered over the internet, just for me to wear on Christmas Day.  The dress was similar to the one I had worn on Thanksgiving, except instead of being pink and white and far too short, this one was red and white and far too short.  Was my diaper showing?  Trying to see around the full skirt of the thing made it difficult to tell.  If nobody was supposed to come, why had Mommy dressed me the way she did?

Wearing the dress and a big red bow at the top of my head, I again got plopped down in front of the Christmas tree with my toys.  While I played, Grandma and Mommy started pushing me further away from the tree as they started placing nicely wrapped Christmas gifts around the tree.

Grandma and Mommy were just discussing opening our gifts when, you guessed it, the doorbell rang.  So much for nobody showing up.

“Merry Christmas,” I heard someone calling as Ash opened the door.  A moment later, Aunt Jenny and Aunt Madison walked in carrying gifts.  Everyone got greeted, including both of them spending too much time ogling…I mean gushing over how cute I looked.  Yeah right!  Five minutes later, we were all sitting down and opening gifts.  And yes, they each had a gift for me.

I opened Aunt Madison’s gift first and rolled my eyes…I mean I removed the pacifier from my mute mouth and thanked her profusely for giving me another toddler’s dollhouse complete with more toy dolls to go in it.  Oh boy, now I had two of them to play with.  Looking at it, I realized that it was one of the items from the toy list that Mommy had made me create a few weeks earlier.  It looked like Mommy wasn’t the only one in the family who saw that list.

Aunt Jenny’s gift was a lot different.  Um…um…um…  No!  I don’t want to tell you.  Shit!  Okay, okay.  When I opened the gift, it took me a minute to figure out what I was looking at, but when I finally realized it, I nearly died.  Remember those spiked booties I had found on the internet?  Yup!  But she had bought me not only the spiked booties that could lock onto my feet and keep me from being able to stand up, but she had also bought me a matching pair of bondage mittens that would make using my hands pretty much impossible.  Jenny, what were you thinking?  While I stared at them in disbelief, the others, especially Mommy, were all laughing hysterically over the things.  Mommy said she couldn’t wait to try them.  I considered taking them out and burying them in the middle of one of those snowmen we had built so nobody would find them until spring.

I opened a gift from Grandma next.  You know the dress I was wearing…and the dress I had worn at Thanksgiving that was similar.  Well, my gift from Grandma was another dress.  And then I realized that this one was very much a more babyish design than the ones that Mommy had bought.  When I held it up all the way, I was pretty sure it was shorter too.  In fact, in some ways, it reminded me of the baby dress that Mommy had put me in for that baby shower.  Mommy grabbed it from me and all the women went nuts over it.

In the middle of that, the doorbell rang again.  If people didn’t stop coming, the house would soon be packed with people.

“Merry Christmas!”

Oh shit!  A male voice.  And in walked Kimmie’s brother Keith.  He greeted all the women, but when he looked over at me, he shook his head, sneered, and muttered, “F***in’ hell!”  He immediately turned so he wouldn’t have to look at me.

Um… Keith’s idea of gifts was a bit different than the ladies, including his gift to me.  And yes, I got one from him too, all wrapped up in a very plain envelope.  All of us got the exact same thing, one Maryland lottery scratch-off ticket.  It took me a moment of looking at it to realize that the tickets he had bought each of us were probably the most expensive scratch-off’s the lottery offered, because the winning prize was advertised to be five million dollars.

Keith didn’t stick around long though, obviously because of me.  Besides, he was on his way over to Mike’s house for Christmas there.  He soon left, and Jenny and Madison left right behind him.

I still had more gifts to open though.  There were three that Mommy had gotten me.  The first two contained more toddler girl toys, I realized that just like Madison’s gift, each of them had been on the list I had given her.

I was about to open the final gift when the doorbell rang again.  Allison hurried in and wished everyone a quick Merry Christmas, including me.  She was worried about getting over to Mike’s house for Christmas with the rest of the family, but she just wanted to drop her gifts off here first since we wouldn’t be there.

We all quickly opened her gifts.  I got two from her, a kitchen set made for three-year-olds, and another footed sleeper to keep me warm.  Nice!  Um…when I say nice, I’m not talking about the kitchen set.

Allison left quickly and it was my turn to open my final gift.  Mommy had already given me a few more toys, and that’s what I expected.  I should have expected that this gift would be different…and it was.

Um…when I was putting my lists together for Kimmie a while back, do you remember me mentioning a pink pair of Mary Jane shoes with bows on them that were…dare I say it…lockable?  Yup!  The shoes that were named Sissy Trainers, that’s what was in the box.  I knew Kimmie would love them, just for the name alone.  They made me wet my diaper just looking at them.

With the gifts passed out and everyone who had shown up so far now gone, Mommy removed my nice dress and stuck me back in bed with a bottle of formula for my afternoon nap.  It seemed like every time I thought about the kind of gifts I had gotten from everyone, I wound up wetting my diaper.  Every time!  Everything had been made for a toddler girl, or…for an adult baby…like me.  Everything!  I wasn’t looking forward to wearing those Sissy Trainer shoes out in public…or maybe I was.  Just the thought of it was making me more horny than I already was.  How long before we could go home and Mommy could remove that damn chastity thing?

Much later, after a really nice Christmas dinner that Grandma and Mommy had created together, before getting up from the table, Grandma brought over all the envelopes that Keith had given us containing those scratch-off lottery tickets.  Grandma gave us each a spoon to use to scratch them off with.

“I won!” Grandma soon shouted happily.

“Let me see!” Mommy said.

“Look!” Grandma said as she held out the ticket.  “Twenty dollars!”

“Wow!” Mommy said, then she turned to me.  “How about you Diane?  Need some help?”

I shook my head and kept scratching.  Nothing.  Nothing.  Nothing.  I finally shook my head and pulled the plug from my mouth.  “Doesn’t look like I got anything.”

“Aw.  Too bad,” Mommy said as she took my ticket to check it over.

“How about you?” Grandma asked Kimmie.

Mommy went back to scratching things off.  When she was done, she just stared down at it.  I saw her swallow before she said.  “I don’t think I understand this.”

“What’s wrong?” Grandma asked.

“I think I may have won something.”

“Oh?” Grandma said excitedly.  “How much?”

“I’m not sure,” Mommy replied.  “Look.”

She handed the ticket to Grandma, who also looked confused.  “Kimberly.  It looks like…somehow…”  She looked up right at her daughter.  “You might have won the grand prize.”

I wonder if either Mommy or Grandma slept at all that night.  I did, but then I didn’t win anything except some very embarrassing Christmas gifts.  I was betting that Mommy didn’t sleep a wink though.

 

Friday morning things started a little earlier than usual.  Get me up, clean my ears, remove my diaper, shave, get in and out of the shower, get dried off, get dressed by Mommy in another skirt outfit, then get breakfast that consisted of baby cereal.  I noticed that neither Mommy nor Grandma were eating anything.  I didn’t have to ask why.

Shortly after breakfast, I was bundled up in my coat and was stuck in the backseat of the car along with my teddy bear and singing doll for company.  Off we went to the nearest gas station where Mommy had already found out that Keith had purchased all those expensive tickets.  When we got there, I was hoping to stay in the car.  Nope!  Didn’t happen.  I was pulled out and dragged right into that store.  Grandma handed the man behind the counter her ticket.  He stuck it in the machine, then congratulated her and soon handed her a twenty-dollar bill.

“Check this one first,” Mommy told the man next.  He put my ticket in the machine, then shook his head.  “Sorry.  Didn’t win anything.”

“Now this one,” Mommy told him as she handed over her ticket.

The man put it into the machine, and the machine started buzzing.  I noticed a light flashing on the top of it.  “Holy…!” the man started to say.  He turned to Mommy.  “Ma’am, you won!  I mean, you won it all.  Five million dollars.  Congratulations!”

Yeah, Mommy and Grandma both jumped up and down with excitement and hugged each other.  Me?  I was so amazed I shit my diaper.  Well, how else was my body going to react?

The excitement through the entire family was high once they heard the news.  I’m not sure about Keith though.  Since he bought the tickets in the first place, I’m sure he felt gipped and was wishing that he had won instead.

For the rest of the day, family members kept dropping by to congratulate Kimmie.  Just for the occasion, Mommy had locked…and I mean locked with small padlocks…those spiked bondage booties and the mittens on me just to make playing with my toys more frustrating…I mean enjoyable.  Trust me, if I even attempted to put any weight on the bottom of my feet, those spikes hurt like crazy.  Not only could I not stand let alone walk, but the only thing I was capable of doing with my hands was to hold a baby bottle if I used both hands to do it.

And I was supposed to play with my toys that way?  Nope!  I couldn’t even press the button on the hand of my singing doll to let her sing to me.  Um…the booties and mittens didn’t have any affect at all on my ability to wet and mess in my diaper.  That was about the extent of the fun I was capable of having while wearing those things.

 

Despite being suddenly rich, we drove home on Sunday.  Mommy was certainly in a good mood.  I was happy for her.  Very happy.  She even let me sit up front for the entire trip.  This time she talked a lot, but she wasn’t actually asking me much of anything.  Instead, she spent time dreaming about what she could do with all that money.  I, of course, had to remind her not to count too many of those chickens before they hatched.  She wasn’t exactly happy when I explained how much money both the federal government and the state government was going to get, and I wasn’t sure which state was going to be involved, Maryland or Tennessee.  Tax season hadn’t come up yet and the last place Kimmie had filed was in Maryland, even though she now lived in Tennessee.  We were going to have to get a ruling on that.

Still, I assured Kimmie…I mean Mommy that she would get a lot of money in the end.  Several million for sure.

 

A few days after getting home, I expected to be able to stay up and greet the new year with Kimmie, but she insisted that babies didn’t do that and I got put to bed instead at my usual eight-thirty bedtime.  Oh well.  I had noticed though the bottle of champaign that Kimmie had out on the kitchen counter.

A thought hit me when I saw it.  “Is your boyfriend coming?

She looked at me quizzically for a moment, then replied, “Baby, Kyle is history.  I dropped him when he kept suggesting that I should leave you.  I don’t want to leave you.  I love you too much.”  She sighed, then added, “The truth is, I really love dressing you up every day.  It’s one of the most fun things I do.  And I even like changing your diapers for you too, even when they’re messy…which face it, is almost always!  Baby, I’m not leaving you for anything. Ever!”

I hugged her.  “I’m sorry,” I told her.

“For what?  I’m happy.  There’s lots of men out there, and right now, the only one I want to be around is you.”  She laughed.  “Even though you’re now my little baby girl instead.  And Diane, I’m having so much fun with you.”

I had no doubt.

 

The following morning, I noticed that Mommy wasn’t exactly feeling very well.  She dressed me, but barely.  Then she got me a baby bottle before going back to bed.  I discovered that the bottle of champaign was empty.  She had finished the entire thing by herself last night.  No wonder she felt the way she did.  Was it something I said?  Or was she simply excited about having so much money coming in soon?

But that was the day, New’s Year Day, when my entire world turned upside down again.

Kimmie was feeling a lot better by lunchtime, but I could tell she still seemed to be sad about something.  Had my question about her boyfriend really upset her that much?  It was the only reason I could think of.

After lunch, Kimmie stood looking out the window at the backyard.  It had snowed while we were away and the ground was covered in white.  She turned to me and said, “Gramps?”

Calling me Gramps again was lately out of character for her…and me.  I got to my feet  “Yeah?”

She motioned with her head that she wanted me to come over to her.  Fearing something was wrong, I went.  I stood next to her, looking out at the snow-covered yard.  “What’s wrong?” I asked softly.

She sighed.  “We’re done,” she said simply.

I wasn’t sure what she meant.  “Done?” I asked.

“Done.  Done with all the baby stuff.  Done with the sissy stuff.  All of it.  I’ll unlock all the bathroom doors in a few minutes.”

I tried desperately to take that in.  “What happened?” I asked.

She shook her head.  “Nothing.  But it’s been about four months now that I’ve kept you in diapers and I think it’s time for us to take stock of where we are and what we want to do.”  She sniggered.  “And you’ve got a ton of new baby and sissy stuff to play with whenever you want.  And Gramps, after what we’ve been doing, I don’t think you have to be shy about me seeing you playing with any of it.  Ever!”

“Um…probably not,” I conceded.

I tried to take it in.  Done.  No more forced diapers.  No more baby bottles.  No more enforced naps.  No more playing with useless baby toys.  No more…anything.  I briefly wondered if I would even be able to go without wearing diapers anymore.  Something told me it would probably be impossible.

But now we were done.  I was shocked to discover what a letdown the simple concept of done was.  I was also shocked to discover something else.

“Kimmie,” I said softly, still looking at the snow.  “What if…”

“Yeah?”

“What if I don’t want it to be done?  What if I want to continue?  What if…I like it?”

She turned and looked at me.  “Gramps?”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure?”

I had to stand there and consider that.  It was a few moments before I answered.  “Kimmie, I think I am sure.  I do like it.  I like it enough that, believe it or not, I don’t think I want to stop.”

She stared at me again, then hugged me tightly.  “Gramps,” she whispered.  “I love you so much.  Being a mother to you and teaching you to be a baby again has been so special to me.  I don’t really want to stop either.  I loved doing…everything with you.  All of it.  If we stop…I’d…miss it.  A lot!”

“So?” I asked.

She looked into my face.  “So…as long as you’re willing, are you sure you want to continue?  Just keep going from where we are now and see where it takes us?  Together?”

I nodded.  “Yeah Kimmie.  I’m agreeable to all of it.  Together.  To wherever it takes us.”

She hugged me again.  “I love you Gramps.  I love you so much!”

“I love you too Kimmie,” I replied as I hugged her back.  A thought hit me.  “What about when you have friends over though, or another boyfriend?  If you do, would I need to worry about how he’s going to fit in with things?”

Kimmie seemed to consider that, but only for a moment.  “Gramps, yeah, I may have boyfriends from time to time, but none of them will every tear me away from you.  I promise!  I love you too much Gramps.”

I nodded.  “Maybe that’s good.  So I guess it will be back to everything again.”

“Yeah,” she agreed.

“There’s just one thing I’d really like to change.  One thing that I hate more than anything.”

“What’s that?”

“Only letting me change at two o’clock every day.  It’s just too long!  I’m too much of a mess all the time, especially after all those bottles you keep me drinking.”

She chuckled.  “Poor Gramps,” she teased.  “Afraid of sitting in a little bit of shit?”

“Afraid?  No.  I’ve had too much practice with it.  Sitting in it doesn’t bother me at all anymore.”

Before I could continue, she laughed again, only louder.  “Well,” she said.  “I guess that worked!  You’ve got no problem sitting in it all day now, which to me means that you’ve got no reason to complain.”

Ugh!  Foiled again!

We both turned to look out at the snow again.  “So,” I said.  “Have you figured out what you’re going to do with all your money yet?”

She turned to me again and I noticed that sly smile of hers on her face.  “I think I’m going to get you something.”

“Me?  What?”

“Something that’s every little girl’s dream.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“A pony.”

“Kimmie…”

She laughed, then said, “And it’s not Kimmie anymore Diane.  Remember?  It’s Mommy!”

Darn woman!

 

The End

 

Gramps - Chapter 26

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 26

 

Hoping for something doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.  Praying for it doesn't seem to be much more successful.  And trust me, begging for it doesn't mean you’re going to get it either.  In my case, I hoped, prayed, and actually begged Kimmie to not go back up to Baltimore to visit the family for Christmas.  Or at the least, she should go, but leave me home here in Tennessee where I belonged.  I certainly didn’t belong up there, nor was I wanted.  But all my hoping, praying, and actual begging fell on deaf ears when it came to Kimmie.  She wanted me to go, and as far as she was concerned, I had no say in it.  Did I ever mention that she liked using the old “babies have no say in anything” routine?  Guess which one of us was the baby.  Not her!

Let me tell you something right now.  That morning when we left, was the morning that my entire life turned not just topsy-turvy, but it rolled over, died, and was buried upside down!  Right from the start I didn’t know which way was up anymore.  Why, you may ask?  Geez!  Where do I start?  I guess we better start at the top of the day.  The beginning.  So what was the beginning?

I had been afraid she was going to do it.  I had feared it from the time I knew we were going back to Baltimore.  As soon as I got out of the shower that morning, all my worst fears came true.  Kimmie laid me down and stuck that darn, stupid, blankety blank flat chastity device on my cock, rendering it not only useless, but for all intents and purposes, gone!  When I started to complain she quickly told me, “Little girls don’t have those ugly things on their bodies, and now, neither do you!”

End of argument.  Darn woman!  It was on and locked, including the tight strap that went all the way around me, keeping the entire thing as close to my body as possible.  Too close!  It wasn’t until it was on that she finished getting me dressed.

Oh no!  Do I have to go through this again?  Okay, okay.  Just hold your horses for a minute and I’ll get this over with.  Diaper…yes, even though it goes without saying now, Kimmie stuck one on me, right after she tried to kill me with too much baby powder, and right after…um…we’ll get there in a minute.  Now, where were we?  Oh yeah.  Diaper, pastel blue plastic pants, light blue tights, white frilly little girl style socks with blue accents, and a dark blue bra (why, I still have no idea).  Then she added, not a skirt, but a very short blue and white dress (at least it had long sleeves).  Have you noticed that once again there are a lot of very, very short skirts and dresses in the stores?  I have.  Kimmie was more than happy to point them out to me whenever we went shopping.  “Wouldn’t you love wearing that?”  Nope!

Uh…where were we again?  Okay.  Got it.  Still getting dressed, which was right after…  Like I said, we’ll get there.  That was the dress, which leaves my hair next.  No pigtails with ribbon bows.  Hooray!  But the hairclip she put at the top, after pulling the entire front part of my hair backwards so tightly I thought it would rip out, was a flowery concoction of blue and white ribbon that couldn’t be missed.

And…and…and…on my feet, those red little girl Mary Janes with the decorations on the buckle that Kimmie had kept away from me since Thanksgiving.  With all the light blue I was wearing, the red Mary Janes stuck out like a sore thumb.  Um…Kimmie thought those shoes looked divine with the rest of my outfit.  I simply wanted to stay home!

But I’m overlooking something that crashed my entire brain, just so I could get the clothing bit out of the way, and it started before I was fully dressed.  Okay…backing up again.  Shit!

I woke up (obviously).  I waddled my way into the bathroom where I shaved my face (Kimmie had given me a bath the night before where she had again shaved my entire body bald).  I removed my soaked diaper and stuck it in the diaper pail trash, then I jumped into the shower.  I didn’t want to get out.  Not because I liked it in there, which I did, but because getting out would bring me closer to having to leave to travel north to see the family.  And I didn’t want to go!  I think I mentioned already that my pleading hadn’t worked at all.

Anyway.  I got out of the shower and Kimmie was already there to help me dry off.  She took me by the hand and led me back to my bed where that new changing mat was laid out.  I got on it and like I said, she tried to kill me with the amount of baby powder that she used.

“Stop looking so glum!” she told me.

“Wouldn’t you?” I asked.  “This trip is a bad idea, and you know it.”

“Diane Alice!”  How dare you tell me that something is a bad idea.  I’m your mother.  You’re a baby.  A two-year-old baby, not at adult.  How would you know what a bad idea is?  You don’t!  So no more complaining.”

I stared up at her in disbelief.  What had she just said?  I really wasn’t sure, even after I had heard it.  “Uh…” I started to say as I searched for the words.

“Aren’t you going to tell me you’re sorry?” she suddenly asked, cutting me off.

Again, I stared at her in disbelief.  Huh?  Tell her…  “Sorry?” I asked.

“It’s sorry, Mommy!” she told me in a very stern voice.

I knew that somehow I had to be either still asleep and in the middle of a bad dream, or I had somehow been transported into another dimension.  “Mommy?” I asked.

“Yes dear?  What is it?” she replied as she finished putting the diaper on me.

“Um…”  I searched for words.

She looked at me, then stuck the big pacifier in my mouth.  “Sorry Diane, but sometimes your baby words are a little hard for Mommy to understand.  And I’ve got a lot to do this morning before we leave.  So just suck on your baby paci and let me get you ready.”

Mommy?  Diane?  What world had I woken up in?  Since I had been completely muted, and it was obvious that she didn’t want me asking questions, my mind went into la-la land as it tried to cope with all the sudden new changes.  She hadn’t even warned me!  Not one bit!  A little warning or especially a nice conversation about it would have been nice.  But no.  It was suddenly Mommy and Diane.  Diane?  Where the hell had that come from?  Had she said Diane Alice?

Before long, I was dressed.  Before long, I was given a bowl of cereal to eat for breakfast.  Before long, I was given a baby bottle of milk to drink with my breakfast.  Before long, my diaper was wet because too many things had already triggered my need to try to pee and poop.  And before long, I was put into the car and Kimmie buckled my seatbelt herself.

Since I’d be in the car, I wasn’t allowed to wear my coat to cover anything up.  “You’ll be in the car Diane,” Kimmie told me.  “You’d be too warm with that coat on.”

I’d be a lot more comfortable, is what I’d be.

The car was loaded with not just our luggage, but also with the gifts we had bought on a few different humiliating shopping trips.  Once again I was allowed to sit in the front seat with Kimmie, and once again she told me I didn’t have to have the pacifier in my mouth.  Yes, yes, yes!  Except…the longer it was out of my mouth, the more I seemed to want it there.  Shortly after we pulled out of the driveway, I grabbed the pacifier and stuck it back in my mouth.  Kimmie didn’t say anything.  She might not have even noticed.  Every time I wanted to say something, I would have to pull it out, but something told me I’d be putting it back after we talked.  What was wrong with me?  But the pacifier stayed in my mouth for the entire trip.  Except when I was talking or eating of course.

We had barely left the house when Kimmie asked, “Do you need a bottle baby?  Do you need something to drink?”

I had just had a bottle with breakfast, and I was already wet.  I pulled my plug.  “No, I’m fine,” I told her before putting the paci back and sucking again.

Kimmie’s response was fast and stern.  “I’m fine…Mommy!” she said as if she was angry.  “If you’re going to lean to talk, you’re going to learn right.  And little girls need to learn to be polite!”

Learn to talk?  Polite?  She had just jumped down my throat for answering her question.  No, she had jumped down my throat for not using the “M” word.  “Um…Mommy?” I asked.

“Yes baby?”  She looked over at me and smiled.  “What is it you want?”

I shook my head.  “Nothing,” I said.

“It’s nothing…Mommy!” she reminded me.

Oh boy.  The baby pacifier went back into my mouth immediately.  Something told me that I would be better off never speaking again.

For the first few hours, we talked a bit, never really saying anything important.  I soon figured out that I wasn’t supposed to even ask about the new names (or was it roles) for each of us.  She just expected me to understand and get it right.  No explanation needed.  I was supposed to call her Mommy every time she asked a question, and she was replacing Gramps with Diane.  At least, that’s the impression I was getting.  With the way things were going already that day, I couldn’t be sure of anything.

Other than the Mommy and Diane bit, we somehow managed to talk a bit, almost like real adults (if you don’t count me calling her Mommy).  We certainly didn’t talk a lot, I was too afraid to say much of anything, but we talked.  We spent more time listening to music than anything else, which gave me more time with my pacifier in my mouth, and more time to try and figure out what world I had woken up in.

The worst part was whenever anything happened around me or even started to happen…oh look over there (I tried to pee and poop).  Did you hear that (I tried to pee and poop).  Kimmie said something (I tried to pee and poop).  Diane…(I tried to pee and poop).  Diane…(I tried to pee and poop)  Diane…  Yeah, you get it.  Every little thing still had me trying to pee and poop in my diaper, especially every time she used the “D” name for me.  Annoying!  But I couldn't seem to help myself.

Yeah, my diaper was a real mess when Kimmie took me into a restaurant for lunch.  I’m not sure if the skirt of my dress covered my sagging diaper or not.  I was an even worse mess by the time Kimmie stopped for gas and then finally changed my smelly diaper.  And of course, afterwards, every little thing had me peeing and pooping again.

I could just scream!  But that paci in my mouth kept me from doing that.

After changing me, like the first trip, I got stuck into the backseat.  That was good.  No, that was great.  No more talking.  No more Diane.  No more Mommy.  I sucked on my pacifier and did my best to take a nap, despite things occasionally having me trying to pee and poop again.

To make a long story short, we arrived.  I still hadn’t figured out what world I was living in again.  Ashley greeted Kimmie with a loving hug outside of the car while I waited and sucked my pacifier inside.  Kimmie unbuckled me and pulled me out and Ashly wrapped me up in a big hug and said, “Hi Diane dear.  It’s so good to see you again baby.  Grandma has missed you so much.”

Grandma?  Yes, I wet my diaper again.  In fact, I almost pooped in it.

So I was Diane now, and Kimmie was Mommy, and Ashley was Grandma.  My daughter had somehow become my grandmother, and my granddaughter had become my mother.  My head was spinning trying to just place everything and everyone.

It was all games, games, games.  But those kind of games can have a huge mental impact on you.  I know they did for me.  I felt more like a child than ever.  Maybe it’s because I suddenly wasn’t myself anymore, and Kimmie had done it in such a way that it had all hit me with no warning at all.  Like a double whammy.  Couple that with the fact that I was out and around so many people, and in public, wearing a short dress and little girl clothes, possibly with my sagging diaper showing, and there was no way for me to get out of that situation anytime soon, and my head was so confused by everything that a real toddler probably had more of a grasp on reality than I did.

Before I knew it, I was again spending most of my time on the floor of Ashley’s living room, surrounded by my baby toys, of which I had more than I wanted.  Especially since they expected me to actually play with them.  I was learning though, or trying to.  When you’ve got absolutely nothing else to occupy your mind, your brain has to reach for something.  And the only somethings I had to reach for were all baby toys.  Play, play, play, or die of boredom.

The day after we arrived, I expected to have a relatively quiet day with just Ashley and Kimmie.  Not to be!  I expected that we wouldn’t be going out anywhere.  Again, not to be.  I also expected that it would be just the three of us.  Also, not to be.

I spent a nice relaxing morning playing with my toys (the ONLY thing I was allowed to do) while wearing my nice warm, footed sleeper.  Yes, Kimmie had changed my diaper before I had my baby food breakfast, but once changed, she had put the sleeper back on me.  I was happy with that.  As I said, it was warm and comfortable.  It wasn’t until after my baby food lunch that I got a hint that maybe something else might happen that day.

My diaper got changed.  I had noticed on the Thanksgiving trip that I was getting more diaper changes than usual each day.  I hoped it would continue on this trip too.  But after getting a fresh diaper, I didn’t get that comfortable sleeper again.  Instead, I got a bra, some white tights, a girly blouse, a super short skirt (all my skirts were super short.  Do you think Kimmie would let me have anything else?).  My red Mary Janes, and pigtails with two ribbons in my hair.

“Gee,” Grandma said as she looked at my hair.  “Her hair is long enough now that you could almost call them proper pigtails.”

“Yeah,” Kimmie had agreed happily.  “I can’t wait until it gets a bit longer.”

I don’t know what other plans Kimmie had for my hair, but I already dreaded them.

I was back playing with my toys when a little while later the doorbell rang.  Panic time!  I wanted to run, but I already knew that wasn’t going to happen.  Ashley answered the door and a minute later, Jenny’s daughter Allison walked in.  She greeted Kimmie then came over to me on the floor.

“And how’s my little niece Diane today?” she asked before bending down and giving me a hug. 

Niece?

Allison turned back to Kimmie.  “Ready?”

“I’ve just got to get our coats,” Kimmie replied.

They were going out?  Nobody told me.  But then, I was a baby…or I was supposed to be.

But Kimmie didn’t get her coat…first.  She got mine and put it on me.  Zipping the thing up for me.  I definitely wet myself then.

“Got your diaper bag?” Allison asked Kimmie.

Kimmie held up the large bag that I thought was just her purse.  “Right here,” she confirmed.

Before leaving the house, Kimmie just had to finish me off by brushing some blusher over my cheeks.  She turned to Allison.  “I’d add a touch of lipstick too,” she told her, “but it would be useless since that pacifier is staying in her mouth.”

Bewildered, I was quickly herded out the door and buckled into the backseat of Allison’s car.  Kimmie got in the backseat on the other side and Ashley sat in the front with Aunt Allison.  I had no idea where we were going.  I only knew I didn’t want to be going anywhere at all…except maybe home to Tennessee, but that didn’t appear to be happening.  Once again it was public humiliation time.  It never seemed to end anymore.

Oh the crowds!  It was the Sunday before Christmas and the entire world had descended on the city of Baltimore just to see me out shopping while dressed as a girly toddler.  At least, that’s what it seemed like to me.  Allison took us to a mall, and let’s just say the crowds were enormous.  I was constantly trying to pee and poop in my diaper, and I wasn’t the least bit concerned about stopping.

We walked…slowly…all around as they shopped.  I say slowly because with all the people there we couldn’t move very fast.  It wasn’t long before I was wondering if my diaper was showing beneath my skirt yet.  I knew it was sagging and I was waddling enough.

And then Allison had to go and ruin the really good time I wasn’t having by saying, “Here it is.  This is the place I told you about.”

I looked at where they were leading me.  A jewelry store.  More gifts…or so I thought.  Nope!  Well, I guess that’s wrong.  The gift we were getting there was for me.  Ten minutes after walking in, I was sitting and sucking my pacifier with a fierceness I had never done before.  I was also trying for all I was worth to both pee and poop in my diaper as…you guessed it…some lady I had never seen before was piercing my ears.  Ouch!  Um…make that two ouches.  Just that fast, I had pierced ears and I knew there were some kind of earrings stuck in them.  Just that fast, my stomach was threatening to heave all over the place.

“Oh, they’re so pretty!” Allison gushed as she looked at what they had done to me.

“Aren’t they?” Kimmie agreed happily.

“She’s going to love them!” Allison added.

I noticed that nobody was asking my opinion.  I had no idea what those earrings looked like, especially not in my ears.  Have any of you noticed how difficult it is to see your ears without a mirror?  And just then I was fresh out of mirrors.

With both of my ears stinging a bit, I was soon led out of the jewelry store and back into the mall proper that was full of cattle…I mean people.  Dressed like I was, and now with earrings decorating my earlobes that I would bet were probably sparkly, I felt more embarrassed and humiliated than ever.  And still I had no way out of it.  No way to do anything but follow Mommy, and Grandma, and Aunt Allison all over the place so that too many people could get a good look at me.  Yeah, my diaper was getting awfully wet…and messy.  And I couldn’t help it!  Blame Kim…I mean Mommy.

“Eww!” Aunt Allison said in one of the stores as she got a bit too close to me.  “I think somebody needs a diaper change.”

“Probably,” Kim…I mean Mommy agreed.  She looked around at all the people  “I’d change her now but there’s just too many people.  And I have no doubt that the ladies’ room is packed.”

“I don’t even want to imagine how bad that wait would be,” Grandma agreed.

“I could change her in the car,” Kim…Mommy said, but since we’re going home soon anyway, she’ll just have to wait till then.  Don’t worry, she’s used to living in messy diapers for far longer than she should be wearing them.  When I’m at work, she messes herself and then refuses to change them right away.  She waits practically forever in her messes.”

I what?  Hey!  That’s not right!  She won’t let me change!  Ugh!  Butwith that pacifier in my mouth there wasn’t much sense in trying to argue.  In fact, even without the pacifier I doubt I’d get far trying to correct the situation.

Yes, my earlobes were still stinging a tiny bit several hours later when we got home.  My pride was hurting far worse though.  To make me feel better, Kimmie put me down for a nap with a nice warm bottle of baby formula.  I was used to the formula now, but I still didn’t like it.  I also didn’t like those earrings I had yet to see.  As I laid in my bed, whenever I turned my head too far, the posts behind my ears stuck into me.  Earrings are a pain.  Both when they pierce your ears and then whenever you try to sleep with them.  Why were all women so insistent that they had to wear them?