Extracted
By Karen Singer
Chapter
25 – Slings and Arrows of Being a Quack – Part 1 of 2
On Saturday morning, Nancy was still brushing her hair
when her mother walked into her room.
Seeing her mother there was not a good sign for Nancy. “Moooom…” she exclaimed. “Not again!”
“What do you mean, not again?”
“You’re not going to make me wear another dress, are
you?”
“Of course you’re going to wear a dress,” Wanda told
her. “I want you to look nice for this
entire weekend. I will not have Agatha
think that I don’t take good care of you.”
“But you do!” Nancy replied. “You take real good care of me. Probably better than you should. Why can’t I just tell her that?”
“Because you shouldn’t have to tell her. She should be able to just see you and know.”
“Ugh!” Nance groaned.
“Now let’s figure out how we should do your hair for
today.”
“My hair too?”
“Of course! I want
you dressed nicely,” she told her daughter as she started pulling her fingers
through Nancy’s hair to figure out what to do with it.
“You mean not just the dress but jewelry and everything
else too,” Nancy realized.
“Of course. Why
are you so against it?”
“It’s just that…”
“Nancy! Stop being
so foolish. You’re a girl now whether
you like it or not. Get with the
program.”
“Ugh!” Nancy groaned again. “As if ballet wasn’t enough.”
“Now where’s that fancy hairclip we got you last
month? There it is,” Wanda said as she
plucked the elaborate and shiny hairclip from Nancy’s dresser. “This should look very nice,” Wanda decided
as she took the brush from Nancy’s hand and started brushing her hair again.
Nancy had no choice but to resign herself to getting
fussed over. She was Stephen inside this
little body. Her family was coming. Her real mother and father. This was not how she wanted them to see
her…him. It was going to
be…embarrassing!
“I’m so glad you painted your nails,” Wanda told
her. “Do they need touching up before
your family arrives?”
Nancy wanted to say a big fat no, but instead held up her
hands to show off her fingernails. “I
don’t know. What do you think?”
Wanda examined Nancy’s fingernails. “Maybe we’ll just ask Emily if she’ll touch
them up so they’re perfect.”
Ugh!
---
§§§§§§§§§§ ---
Stephen, Henry, and Agatha Marsh left Philadelphia
shortly after lunch. Agatha wanted to
get there as soon as possible because she was so anxious to see her son again,
even if that son was now a twelve year old girl. No matter what he looked like or what name he
had to use, he was still her son and always would be.
Stephen, sitting in the backseat, barely moved a muscle
through the entire trip. Nancy, inside
of him, was more anxious to get there than her new mother. She was going home. Finally.
Home to where she belonged. Home
to her real family. There were only
three things marring this trip. One, she
was stuck in the wrong body. Two, there
was someone else there pretending to be her.
And three, like it or not, she would have to go back to Philadelphia
with these people…her new family. Still,
she couldn’t wait to get…home.
A little over two hours later, Henry pulled the car into
the beautiful driveway of a large house.
A house that looked to be about the size of his own house.
Agatha was out of the car quickly, looking the house
over. She liked what she saw, but she
realized that she should like it. This
was the home of a U.S. congressman…let alone her son. She glanced over at her husband who was
looking at things much the same way she was.
She turned, but she didn’t see Stephen.
She had to look harder to find him still in the back seat of the
car. She opened the rear door for
him. “Are you coming?” It was only then that she noticed
something. He was crying. “Steve?” she said. “What’s wrong?”
“I live here,” Stephen told her. “I’m home.
But this…nightmare still isn’t over.”
Agatha couldn’t imagine the feelings that had to be
running through his head. “Come on,” she
told him. “Wouldn’t you like to see more
than you can from here?”
Stephen pulled his large body from the car, but the
moment he was free, he heard a woman shouting.
“Steve! Stephen!”
He turned and saw his real mother running towards
him. The two of them hugged each other
tightly.
“My Nancy,” Wanda breathed with her face buried in his
chest. It was a few moments before Wanda
let go of him enough to look up into his face.
“I’m not used to having to look up to see you,” she said with a
smile. She hugged him tightly again
before letting him go.
It was still so strange for Agatha to have to reach down
and hug a strange young girl. But tears
came to her eyes as she remembered that this young girl was who her Stephen was
now. She squeezed him tightly. “I’ve missed you…Steve,” she whispered softly
so that only he could hear. “I’ve missed
you.”
“Me too Mom,” Nancy replied. “So much!”
Agatha finally pulled back far enough to take another
look at the girl. “You look nice again,”
she laughed. “Real nice.”
“Don’t blame me!” Nancy told her. “It was…Mom’s idea.”
“Well, I appreciate it.”
“I guess, like it or not, it’s supposed to be Nancy now?”
Henry asked.
“I don’t care what you call me,” Nancy told him. “You know who I am in here.”
Henry nodded. “I
don’t know if I should hug you or shake your hand.”
“Uh…would you mind much if I hug you? I seem to like them lately. And…I’ve missed you so much too.”
Henry bent down and gave the young girl a brief hug. “This is so strange,” he said as he hugged
her.
“For me too,” Nancy assured him.
Mike Stiller approached Stephen. “Are you still in there Nance?” he asked.
“Still here Dad.
Believe it or not.”
Mike nodded, still looking over the large two-hundred
pound boy, unsure how exactly he should greet him.
“Dad,” Stephen said finally. “Would you mind if I hug you? I’m still me inside here. And I’ve missed you so much!”
Before Mike could answer, Stephen moved in and wrapped
his arms around him. “Love you Dad,” he
whispered.
Mike had to force the words out. “Love you too…Nancy.”
“Hi Agatha. Hi
Henry,” Wanda called, greeting her guests.
“Have a good trip?”
“Real good,” Agatha replied as she moved over and hugged
the other mother. As she did, she
noticed Henry and Mike shaking hands.
“Steve!” Emily’s voice shouted. She ran down the steps and immediately
wrapped Stephen up in a big hug. “How
are you Nance?” she asked as she looked up into his face. But his face wasn’t looking at her. She let him go and turned to see what he was
looking at. She should have known.
Stephen and Nancy stared silently at each other. When Emily finally moved out of the way, they
both barely noticed she was gone. Almost
in slow motion, Steve sank to one knee, and the two of them hugged each other
tightly. A hug that seemed to last
forever as the two of them hugged their real bodies. No words needed to be said. They each knew what the other was thinking.
When they finally pulled apart far enough to see each
other again, Nancy grabbed his hand and said, “Come on. Want to see your room again?” The two of them left everyone else behind and
hurried straight into the house.
Upstairs, Stephen stood in the doorway of his old room
and looked around. “It looks the same,”
he said. “Exactly the same.”
“Why wouldn’t it?” Nancy asked.
“I don’t know,” Stephen replied. “And it’s clean!”
“Of course,” Nancy said.
“I was afraid it would be like…your old room when I first
got there. A mess.”
“Uh…have you met your mother? I mean, your real mother?”
Stephen laughed.
“Yeah. She’d never allow a mess
like that in her house. Anywhere!”
“Nope,” Nancy agreed.
Stephen walked fully into the room and just absorbed the
atmosphere. Home. And this room was his home inside of his
home. It was good to be back.
---
§§§§§§§§§§ ---
“So…ballet?” Agatha asked as she sat alone with Nancy,
clasping the small girl’s hands in her own.
It was only the knowledge that hidden somewhere inside that girl was her
big strong son that kept her rooted to the chair.
“Not by choice,” Nancy was quick to tell her.
“Ballet can’t hurt you dear,” Agatha told her.
“Huh! You don’t
know Mrs. Cutter. She’s constantly
yelling at me. Hands Nancy, hands! Ugh!
I’m starting to hear it in my sleep.”
Agatha laughed.
“Still, it can’t hurt. And maybe
you can learn something.”
“Yeah, like how much I don’t like ballet.”
“Stop being silly, you’re a grown…” She stopped.
“Well, you’re not a grown boy anymore who’s almost a man.”
“I am, and I’m not.
It’s so really, really weird.
It’s like I’m going in two directions at once.”
“I often try to imagine what you’re going through and
dealing with, but the truth is, I haven’t a clue. Still, I try.
So what’s new in this new life for you?”
“Uh!” Nancy grunted.
“Would you believe it? I’ve got
friends now. Two girls my age. This age I mean. Twelve.
It’s weird, but at least they’re someone to talk to…other than my other
mother out there. They’re…good company,
and…I kind of like them.”
“Good!” Agatha whispered.
“I guess, you’ve got no choice but to do your best to shave a few years
off who you really are.”
Nancy considered that.
“Yeah. I never thought about it
that way, but if I can’t get back into my own body, what choice am I going to
have?”
“None, as far as I can see,” Agatha admitted.
Nancy shook her head sadly. “I just keep feeling like…I lost my entire
life!”
“I guess, in a way, you did. But now look, you’ve got a new life. And Nancy, you’re not really dead. You’re alive.
Just…a different alive.”
“Too different!”
“But you’re still alive.”
“I guess that’s something,” Nancy admitted.
“It certainly is to me.
You have no idea how happy I am that, even under these conditions, I can
still see you, and talk to you, and I know you’re still around…somewhere.”
“I feel kind of the same,” Nancy told her. “It’s just that, every time I think about you
and Dad, it just gets to me because nothing is right anymore. Nothing is even close to being the same. I miss so many things!”
“I’m sure you do,” Agatha agreed.
“And we still don’t know any way to fix any of it,” Nancy
lamented.
“Not yet,” Agatha agreed.
“Which means, like we always knew, I’m stuck. Like this.
Forever!”
Agatha took a big breath and sighed. “That’s the way it’s looking.”
“What am I going to do?” Nancy asked, feeling nothing but
sorry for herself.
Agatha looked at her.
There was only one answer to that question. “Nancy,” she said to the young girl sitting
with her. “I won’t beat around the
bush. Being a woman is the hardest thing
you’ll ever have to do. In some ways,
the work never ends. Never! I’m guessing that in a few years you’ll
discover that the only time you have to relax at all will be when you’re doing
something to help make or keep yourself beautiful.”
“Ugh! That’s not
relaxing! And what if I don’t want to
make myself…beautiful!”
Agatha shook her head.
“Nancy dear, trust me, I have no doubt that before long you’re going to
be like every other woman on earth, and you’ll want to take good care of
yourself. You’ll want to be
beautiful and stay beautiful.
“I doubt it,” Nancy told her.
“Dear, I’d bet anything that you will. Those female hormones I’m sure you’re dealing
with now are going to start doing things to you that you’re not used to.”
“Uh…Mom, my period ended a few days ago. I’m done with it. At least for the next month.”
“I wasn’t talking about your period, dear,” Agatha told
her. “I’m betting your hormones are
going to start affecting your entire life, more so than you can imagine. That is, if they’re not already starting to
do it.”
“Not if I can help it,” Nancy replied.
Agatha smiled. Her
son was still somewhere inside that little feminine body. But she had to wonder, for how long? At times now, he was starting to almost sound
like a young girl. Still, there could be
no doubt that this young girl was indeed her big Stephen inside. A big, almost man, who needed some advice
from his mother. “Don’t be afraid of it
Nancy,” she told him. “Don’t be afraid
of being beautiful. You’re already a
very pretty girl. Very pretty. I would love to look like you do again. Don’t shy away from it Nancy, embrace it.”
Nancy shook her head.
“You do know I’m supposed to be just getting back from football camp,
right?”
Nancy! Stop
it. I know you miss being you,
Stephen. I know that more than you
think. All I’m saying is that now, like
it or not, you’re stuck being Nancy, so embrace it and try to adapt to it, and
do your best to love it.”
“Love it?” Nancy said.
“How? Right now, all I can see is
that I’m going to be miserable for my entire life.”
“I doubt that!” Agatha told her. “I doubt that very much. I believe…I have to believe, that
you’re going to be happy. I have to
believe that. Don’t forget though, that
as difficult as it’s going to be to be a woman, it can also be the most
rewarding thing imaginable. I’m hoping
that you’ll find love someday, and that that love will mean more to you than
life itself. Not only that, but I do
hope that someday you’ll have the chance to have children of your own too. Nancy, there is nothing on earth more
rewarding than that. Nothing! Every mother on earth literally lives for her
children. I hope you get a chance to do
that too. Nancy, don’t be afraid to be a
girl. Don’t be afraid to be a
woman. Enjoy whatever life you’ve got to
work with as best you can. Otherwise,
you’re literally dooming yourself to live in misery. Be happy Nancy. Happy.”
Nancy wasn’t sure what to say. “I guess since I’m stuck like this, I’m going
to have no choice but to try.”
“Maybe you do have no choice, but it might help if you make
that choice, and try.”
“Maybe,” Nancy agreed, her heart not really in that
thought.
“And you know what would make me very happy?”
Agatha said.
“What?”
“For you to dance some ballet for me.”
“Don’t get your hopes up!” Nancy told her.
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§§§§§§§§§§ ---