Too Old to be Young
By Karen Singer
Chapter 13 – Part 2 of 2
In
his half-sleep state, his mind wandered and dreamed. Strange dreams. And the strangest part was that his dreams weren’t
borne of the high heels he had worn all day.
They were dreams born from not being able to satisfy his need for
release. They were thoughts and dreams
that refused to leave him all night long, and when he woke the next morning, he
was still remembering and thinking about those strange dreams. He usually loved dreaming about things like
that. All his short stories were born
from dreams like that, but these dreams had been different. Exciting, but different. He was tempted to sit down and write another
short story about them, but decided not to.
Glad
to be able to move around without his new heels, he walked barefooted out to
his kitchen and started his coffee maker.
A minute later, while it was brewing, he was back at his desk in front
of one of his stories. But the dreams
from last night refused to leave his mind.
Once again, he was tempted to write something about them, and once again
he decided not to.
Jackie
finally came by to let him out of his onesie during his second cup of coffee of
the day. He hurried into the shower,
knowing that when he came out, he would not only be locked into another onesie
so he couldn’t remove his diaper, he would essentially be locked into those red
heels again. As the warm water washed
over his body, his mind again remembered the strange things he had dreamed
about. Very different than anything he
could remember dreaming that way before.
Jackie
sipped at a cup of coffee as she wandered into his office to see what was up on
his computer screen. She couldn’t tell
if it was the same story she had looked at the day before or not. It was simply more of the same. Junk!
Why did he bother? But evidently,
it had to mean something to him. It was
his story, his fun. And he was welcome
to all the fun he could get. He just
couldn’t get any of the fun he wanted to get for the next week. Sexual release. She was surprised that he was still reading
these stories since that kind of release was denied to him. But maybe that denial was fueling his need
for this kind of material. She simply
didn’t know, and she wasn’t about to ask him about it. It was his life, his fun.
In
due course, she watched as he put another diaper over his miniscule locked up
penis. She locked him into one of his
onesies, then a few minutes later, once he was completely dressed, she put some
tape around the ends of the straps of his red high heels. With another sly smile, she walked out.
Jim
watched her leave, knowing that once again he would be spending a day like
yesterday stuck in his red shoes with aching feet. Ugh!
He
grabbed a fresh cup of coffee and sat down at his desk. A few minutes later, he finished the story he
had been working on and turned to his file of stories to select the next
one. As his eyes roamed down the list,
he noticed his No Control Mantra.
Ha! He wasn’t interested in that
right now. Jackie hadn’t even asked him
today if he was relaxed…which he wasn’t.
He was already saddled with enough problems. He didn’t want to make anything worse for
himself.
He
took another sip at his coffee as he glanced through all the story titles. They were sorted by the dates he had written
them so all he really had to do was to pick the next story on top. He started to, but stopped. He just wasn’t interested. He grabbed his coffee cup and got up, heading
for his living room. But now that he was
moving, his mind was still thinking about that No Control Mantra. Should he?
She wanted him to, but he wasn’t interested. Not at all.
As
he stood in front of the crack in his curtain, sipping his coffee, his mind
wasn’t on his stories, it wasn’t really on that No Control Mantra either. It also wasn’t on the strange dreams he had
last night. Very slowly, he purposely
stood there and relaxed his bladder as much as possible. He thought he felt a tiny bit of pee leak out,
but he wasn’t sure. He stood there and
forced himself to relax all his muscles as much as he could, front and back. He turned away from the window, still
concentrating on staying that relaxed, forcing himself to stay that way. He headed for one of his chairs where he
liked to sit and read. He sat and picked
up his tablet and turned to the latest book he had downloaded. He read, but his mind stayed more on trying
to remain as relaxed as possible.
He
was still reading when he noticed a tiny telltale feeling that he might have to
pee, still looking at his book, he sat there and let it out immediately, trying
to keep those muscles as relaxed as he could.
Something came out, but it wasn’t much.
Still staying relaxed he went back to his book.
--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---
His
feet were starting to ache again, even though he had barely walked anywhere in
his new shoes. He had stayed in his
chair and read all morning instead. He
was surprised to see that it was almost eleven thirty and Jackie hadn’t come by
again. Yesterday she had been making
trip after trip to his house. He heard
his front door opening. Speak of the
devil – literally.
“Jim?”
Jackie called.
“In
here,” Jim called back.
“Oh,
there you are,” Jackie said as she got into his living room.
Jim
noticed the purse on her arm.
“Ready
to go?” she asked.
“Go?”
“Out.”
“Where? And no, of course I’m not ready. I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“To
bad. You need to get out of here for a
while, and I know just the place.”
“Where?”
“A
restaurant. For lunch.”
“A
restaurant! No!”
“Too
bad, you’re going. Get used to it.”
“No!”
“Jim…what’s
your shoe mantra?”
Ugh! He looked at her angrily, but said, “I love
wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”
“Right. Now keep saying that and let’s go.”
He
was tempted to point out that he had no requirement to do everything she told
him to, except the things they saddled him with every Tuesday night, but he
held his tongue. One way or another, he
figured she was going to manage to get him out where he would wind up being the
laughingstock of everyone around, and he could just see himself being saddled
with something like that next Tuesday night, where they would require him to go
out in public every single day in whatever stupid stuff they had him dressed in. The very thought of it scared him to
death…and excited him too.
He
got up from his chair and headed for his bedroom. But halfway across the living room he
realized he needed to pee. Consciously
working on not holding back at all, it was only moments before he felt it
coming out. He stopped as he suddenly
felt it happening – so quickly.
“Is
there a problem?” Jackie asked, seeing him stopping for a moment.
“Nope. Just…thinking.”
“About
what?”
“I
need my wallet before we leave.”
“Well
go get it.”
Again,
concentrating on staying relaxed, he headed for the bedroom. That had been interesting, he had barely
known he was going to pee, then suddenly he felt it coming out. A few minutes later, he crossed the grass in
front of Jackie’s house, making sure to put all his weight on the toes of his
feet so his heels wouldn’t sink into the grass.
He climbed into her car and sat there as she backed out of the
driveway. He was nervous. But at the same time, he was excited. If only his cock wasn’t squished down to
nothing and locked away. He couldn’t
enjoy anything like that.
As
Jackie drover them toward whatever restaurant she had in mind, his nervousness
and excitement increased. Before long,
he found his shoe mantra going through his mind continuously. He stopped thinking about it as she pulled
into the parking lot of the restaurant, but the moment she had parked the car,
he was thinking about that mantra loudly in his head. Telling himself that he loved wearing women’s
shoes and he didn’t care who saw him in them, and trying to convince himself of
something that wasn’t true.
“You’re
going in with me!” Jackie told him in no uncertain terms. “What’s your mantra again?”
“Don’t
worry, I haven’t stopped thinking about since I left the house.”
“Good! Now let’s go.
They’ve got a great chicken salad here.”
Jim
couldn’t have cared less about that. In
a supreme act of bravery, he amazed even himself by getting out of the car…and
following her – into the restaurant. Talk
about brave! Talk about stupid. Talk about being a loser!
As
he followed Jackie and the hostess toward one of the booths, he tried to figure
out why the hostess hadn’t made any mention at all of his shoes, but then, he
was fairly sure she hadn’t noticed them.
Were the other customers looking at him?
He stared only at Jackie’s back as they walked and didn’t dare look
around. It was his life. They where his shoes. And…yeah, he did like them. And if anyone didn’t like it – screw them! Feeling more confident than he knew he was,
he sat down in the booth and moved a bit further toward the wall than
usual. Whew! Made it.
As
soon as the hostess had left them alone, Jackie leaned across the table and
whispered, “Did you wet yourself when we came in?”
“No,”
he whispered back. “I went just before
we left the house. Remember when I
stopped in the living room and you asked what was wrong?”
She
nodded. “I wondered, but didn’t want to
say anything.”
Were
any of those nearby customers looking at his feet? He wondered about that as Jackie talked
incessantly about the Bridge came at the community center last night. Could any of the nearby people see his
shoes? They were red. They had real high heels. They’d be easy to spot. As he sat with his ankles crossed, hoping to
hide at least one of his embarrassing shoes, he thought about the concepts in
his shoe mantra…and he also tried his best to keep his bladder muscles relaxed,
wondering if he had the courage to wet his diaper right there at the table – in
public! If he did, he was sure nobody
would know. He hoped at least. And screw anyone who saw what shoes he was
wearing and didn’t like it. His
life. His shoes. His fun!
The
male waiter stopped by and took their order, but as far as Jim could see, he
hadn’t glanced under the table at his shoes either. So far, so good. While he pretended to be interested in the
Bridge strategies that Jackie seemed to be talking about, he continued to keep
his same attitude about his shoes…and about trying to stay relaxed, watching
and waiting for any sign that he’d have to pee.
Their
food came and took his mind partially off things, but not completely. He actually said very little during their
meal, but what could he really say?
Jackie though seemed to be more than willing to hold most of the
conversation duties anyway. Before he
knew it, the waiter had delivered their bills and they were paying. A few minutes later, they got up and left the
booth. He thought hard and loud about
not caring what the other people might think about his shoes…until he suddenly
noticed he not only had to pee, he was peeing – as he followed Jackie out of
the restaurant. It was such a shock he
nearly forgot all about his shoe problem.
Nearly, but not quite. The pee
didn’t last but a moment, and then it was gone, but he couldn't stop thinking
about it.
Jackie
got to the car and unlocked it. She
glanced at Jim. “What’s wrong?” she
asked before they got into the car.
“You’re white as a ghost.”
“I…peed
as we were leaving the table,” he admitted.
She
stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. “Good for you? Was it fun?”
He
said nothing until they had gotten into the car and she had started it. “Yes,” he admitted.
“Yes
what?”
He
looked at her and smirked. “Yes, it was
fun.”
She
laughed again. “Good for you.”
--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---
All
afternoon and evening his did his best to keep his bladder muscles
relaxed. In the afternoon when it was
his usual time to mess his diaper, it happened an hour sooner than he expected
because he was keeping everything so relaxed and was purposely trying to not
block anything. Consequently, he stood
staring out the crack between his curtains for a longer period of time until
Jackie got there to let him shower and change.
But as always, he was soon dressed and locked again, and she was gone.
Finding
it still interesting, he continued to stay as relaxed and open as possible for
the rest of the day and evening. When he
went to bed that night, he was still that way.
In fact, keeping himself in that state was becoming easier for him. As he laid in bed, he concentrated on keeping
his body relaxed, as the thoughts about his strange dreams ran through his
head. Very strange for him. And the strangest part was that the entire
dream was like one big story, complete with a rather interesting beginning that
seemed like nothing he had ever written before.
He
fell asleep dreaming about the story, and wondering if he would wet himself
during the night without waking up and knowing it. That might be fun too!
