My Funny Farm - Chapter 13 – The One Week Anniversary – Part 1 of 3

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 13 – The One Week Anniversary – Part 1 of 3

 

Mrs. Lowrey was back of course on Thursday.  Like it or not, Caitlin decided to make me demonstrate my new sucking routine for her.  She also had me sit there and say, “I’m nothing but a baby,” about a dozen times for her.  Mrs. Lowrey seemed to get some kind of wicked kick out of all of it.  I was starting to like her less and less every time she showed up.

After both Caitlin and Emily had gone off to work and it was just Mrs. Lowrey and me in the house, she made me sit there and say that same dumb phrase over and over again for her.  “I’m nothing but a baby.”

When she stopped me, she made a point to tell me she would be watching that pacifier in my mouth all day to make sure I was using it right.  Just as soon as I could, I was going to murder not just my entire family, but Mrs. Lowrey too…right before I murdered myself!  And Mrs. Lowrey managed to give me a few more reasons to murder her when she made me sit three different times during the day and tell her that I was nothing but a baby.  Could that be considered abuse?  I thought so.

Somehow, I managed to actually make it through the entire day.  Emily and Caitlin fixed a nice meal for all of us for dinner, and I mentally cheered when they served that same meal to me.  Mine of course got served on those plastic child’s dishes and instead of a fork and knife I only got one of those baby spoons to use to eat it with.  At least they had cut my meat up into tiny pieces for me.  Still, it wasn’t baby food, and it tasted great!

I never noticed it, but while I was doing my usual evening chores, Caitlin, Emily, and Bill all disappeared for a while.  I didn’t notice it until the doorbell suddenly rang.  I looked all around.  Where were they?

“Baby!” Emily’s voice called down from upstairs.  “We’re busy.  Please answer the door.”

Answer the door?  Dressed in Emily’s red dress?

The doorbell rang again.

“Baby!  Answer it!” Bill’s voice yelled down the steps.

Like it or not, I went to the door and opened it.  I was surprised.  It was Mrs. Lowrey.

“Took you long enough,” she said as she pushed her way inside.

Emily ran down the steps, but this time she was dressed from head to toe in her read leather outfit.  “Sorry,” she said to Mrs. Lowrey.  “We’re all running a bit late.”

“No problem,” Mrs. Lowrey replied.  She looked over at me.  “You’re not sucking properly!” she declared.

I was shocked, but I once again started the motion going with my pacifier.  Yeah, I was really starting to hate that woman.

“Thanks,” Emily told her.  “We’re so grateful that you’re watching out for him like this.”

Was making sure I was sucking my pacifier properly what she called watching out for me?

Caitlin came downstairs in Emily’s black leather outfit, and Bill came down right behind her, dressed as a biker again.  And then the doorbell rang.  Emily quickly opened it, squealed excitedly and threw herself at whoever was on the other side of the doorway.  When she finally stopped hugging him and moved back, Jared walked into the house.  After saying hi to everyone else, his gaze settled on me.

“I see they finally got you into a dress,” he said, noticing Emily’s red dress that I was wearing.  His voice sounded mean.  “You need heels, makeup and a wig though.  If it was up to me, your diaper would be full of shit, and you’d stay that way all the time.”

A nice guy he wasn’t.  He soon left though with the others, and once again I had to spend time telling Mrs. Lowrey that I was nothing but a baby, before she told me she’d be keeping an eye on me again to make sure I was sucking properly.  Ugh!  While I played with my toys, she sat on my bed with her book, glancing up at me more often than not to make sure I was doing as I was supposed to.  Yeah, murdering her was definitely on my list, right before I did myself in.

 

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Friday started out to be one of the most average days possible in my new life.  The doorbell did ring once while I was watching TV, but Mrs. Lowrey answered it and talked to whoever was there, before hurrying through the house and out to the garage.  Eventually she came back with a box in her hands that she carried into my room.  More diapers?  I guessed I would soon find out.  I could do little about it just then, so I put it out of my mind.

Things didn’t get different at all until that night.  It was chore-time for me.  A time that I actually looked forward to every day since I got to walk around, move around, and not be such a total baby.  I was in the laundry room and had just turned the dryer on when James walked in.

“Hi baby,” he said nicely.  “How are you?”

“Doing laundry,” I told him.  “And believe it or not, it really is the highlight of my day.”

He chuckled.  “Come on,” he said.  “Let’s go to the office.”

It was only then that I realized it was Friday, and he was supposed to “talk to me” every Friday.  My mind started going over all the thousands of excuses I had for killing myself as he led me to the office.  He closed the door and took the nice chair at my desk while I sat in a regular chair.

I pulled the plug from my mouth, set it on the desk where I hoped it would stay for a while, and asked, “What’s up?”  I already knew what he wanted to talk about – me!

“I think I’m going to buy a boat,” he told me.

My head went spinning for a moment.  “A boat?”

“Yeah.  Remember all those fishing trips we took, not just when I was growing up, but you and I have gone out hundreds of times over the years.  They were great times.  All of them.”

“Yeah, they were.  You and I were pretty good fishing buddies.  But what do you need a boat for?  You can just take mine whenever you want, and you know it.  In fact, you’ve done that lots of times.”

“Yeah but….  Dad, I’m the CFO of my company now.  I think I deserve my own boat.”

“You do know that a boat is nothing but a hole in the water that you can throw your money into.”

“Dad, you know I make lots of money and Jennifer does too.  We can afford a boat.  Easily.  And that’s part of the point I think.  We’ve got money now, and the kids are all out of the house, so why shouldn’t I buy my own boat?”

“Okay,” I agreed.  “I can see your point.  I was just saying, we’ve used mine for a lot of years.”

“Yes, we have.  And it’s a good boat, but it’s also cheap and basic.  I want something really nice.”

“I always kept it running perfectly, and it’s all we ever needed.”

“I know, but like I said, I think I want something that everybody and look at and know I’ve got money.”

“Bah!  You’re throwing your money away.  All you need is something to get you out on the lake and that’s it!”

“Yeah, but a little style wouldn’t hurt.”

“For what?  You’re out there to catch fish!  Fish that are dirty and smell.  What style?”

He laughed and we spent the next half hour discussing some of our more memorable fishing trips.  I hate to say it, but I really enjoyed that little talk.

And then he ended it all, and got up.  “Okay Dad,” he told me.  “That’s enough for this week.  We’ll talk more about it next time.  See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I asked.

He nodded at me, then walked out.

It was nice to talk about our fishing trips.  It was even nicer to be called Dad once again.

“Baby!” Emily’s voice called.  “Back to the laundry!”

Oh well.

I had barely started pulling clothes out of the dryer when Bill walked in on me.  Bill, the nonentity in the house, because  he rarely ever paid much attention to me.  Which was fine by me.  I had enough with Emily and Caitlin to deal with.

“You know,” he said, “I should be the one handling your finances, not James.  I can do a much better job of it than he can.”

I was shocked.  What was his problem?  I watched as he started to walk away, then he stopped and turned back to me.  “Keeping you from dying was a mistake!  And I’m not the only one in this family that feels that way.”  With that, he turned and walked off.

Something was troubling him, without a doubt.  And it wasn’t my fault that I wasn’t dead.  I had tried to kill myself.  I still wanted to kill myself.  So why did he seem to be blaming me?

A little while later, I was bathed, shaved, and wearing one of those super thick night diapers.  I had just finished laying in Emily’s lap while she fed me another bottle of baby formula, making sure I kept to my sucking rhythm.  When the bottle was done, she bopped me on the nose again, kissed me, and told me she loved me.  She didn’t put my pacifier in my mouth for me, but it was laying right next to me on the nightstand.

Emily walked out, and Caitlin walked in.  Caitlin was the one who pulled the covers up over my nearly naked body.  I fully expected her to stick that pacifier back in my mouth again, but she didn’t.  Instead.  She pulled something from her pocket and stuck it to my lips.  Since I never saw it, I was guessing it was another new pacifier, and I let her stick it in.  My eyes went wide with shock.  What went into my mouth felt like a pacifier, including the shield that butted up against the outside of my lips, but the nipple part that was in my mouth was a lot bigger than I was used to.  All of it was much bigger, inside and out!

“That pacifier is expensive,” she told me, “so I better not see any teeth marks on it, ever!”  “Now suck…out…suck…out…”

Once again she set up that same rhythmic sucking motion, making me do it the way she wanted.  She kept at it for a while, making sure I got the point.  “Keep going,” she told me.  “I’ll be back every once in a while to check on you.  I want to see that same sucking motion all night long, even while you’re sleeping.  I want you so used to it that it’s automatic.”

With that, she kissed me on the forehead and said, “Despite what’s probably popular opinion, I do love you.  A lot!  Now suck!  Properly!”  She kissed me once again, turned out the light, and walked out.

Automatic?  Shoot!  But then I realized that if they kept at me the way they had been, sucking like that just might start to become a habit.

 

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My Funny Farm - Chapter 12 – Life Sucks – Part 2 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 12 – Life Sucks – Part 2 of 2

 

Porn!  Porn!  Porn!  No, I never really stopped to think about why I was so fascinated by it, especially at this point in my life.  I had never really been into it when Rachel was alive, but there was no doubt I was enjoying it now.  Of course, I knew perfectly well that I wasn’t the only one on earth who was so drawn to it.  After spending so much time looking at those sissy sites, it almost seemed like everyone on earth was addicted to porn in one fashion or another.  In fact, how was I to know, maybe they were, and I had always been one of those few uninitiated holdouts all my life.  I didn’t fall into that category anymore.

For me, in my present bizarre and unwanted position, spending half and hour every day looking at the porn, only for it to be followed immediately by my afternoon nap period, was one of the highlights of my day.  As my minutes of computer time gradually ticked down, I was certainly looking forward to that nap…or rather, what I would be doing instead of actually sleeping…for a while.

Caitlin came in to rescue me from my computer almost the minute my time with it was up.  She already had another baby bottle in her hand as she led me back to my bedroom.  But that’s when everything changed on me again.  Instead of having me get into the bed for my nap, she had me sit down on the floor next to the bed, and she sat down right in front of me.  Yup!  I already knew what was about to happen.  More marathon confessing that I was nothing but a baby.  Except, it didn’t quite happen like I expected.

She reached out herself and removed the pacifier from my mouth.  Then she looked me in the eyes and asked.  “What are you?”

No surprise to me at all.  “I’m nothing but a baby,” I replied, now having figured out how she wanted me to say it.

“Right!” she replied.  “Remember that!”

I waited for her to tell me to keep saying it, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.  But instead, she changed it all up.

“Baby,” she said.  “I noticed that you’re not sucking on your pacifier the way you should be.  You’re chewing on it instead.”  She held my pacifier up and showed me the nipple.  “See how your teeth are chewing it up?  I shouldn’t see any teeth marks on it at all.  And the only reason they’re there is because you’re not sucking properly.  So I thought I would spend a little while today helping your learn to do it better.”

Once again in this new crazy life, I was flabbergasted.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out another pacifier, then she stuck my old chewed up one into her pocket.  She held out the new pacifier.  “Here,” she said as she reached across and pressed the nipple to my lips.  “This is one you haven’t sucked on yet, so it’s still new.”

By now, I was so used to them sticking a pacifier into my mouth that I never hesitated at all to suck the thing in.

“Now don’t let it touch your teeth!” she warned me.

I had to be careful.  It was too easy for my teeth to touch the thing.  Not that I really cared that much if I was chewing on them or not, but I was curious now about what she was trying to do.

“Okay baby,” she said.  “Now I’m going to tell you what to do, and I’m going to be watching very carefully to make sure you do it.  Ready?”

Ready?  I didn’t know if I was ready or not.

“Now suck it in,” she said.

Suck it in?  It was already in my mouth.

“No baby,” she said.  “When I say suck, I should be able to see that paci moving harder into your mouth.  And when I say out, I should be able to see you relax just a bit so it can ease up and come out a tiny bit.”

She had to be kidding!  But I realized after a second of thought that she probably could notice something like that.  In fact, I remembered watching my kids and my grandkids when they were babies as they sucked on something.  You really could see those things moving around as they sucked.

“Now try it again,” she said.  “Suck…”

I sucked a bit harder.

“Now out,” she said.

I eased up and felt the thing not pressing against my lips so much.

“Suck…out.  Suck…out.”

She kept saying it and watching that pacifier in my mouth as she seemed to set up a constant rhythmic pattern.  “Suck…out…suck…out.”  It wasn’t exactly once per second.  It was a bit faster than that, but it was something else – relentless!  “Suck…out…suck…out…suck.  Keep going,” she said as she watched me closely.  “Now as you suck like that, close your eyes.  Suck…out…suck…out…suck…out.”

With my eyes closed, I was far more aware of the sucking feeling and motion of the pacifier than ever, especially as her voice droned softly on and on, making sure the rhythm of it never stopped.

“Suck…out…suck…out,” she said.  “As you’re doing it, feel your worries and anxieties draining away.  Suck…out…suck…out, and feel yourself growing calmer and more relaxed as you do it.”

Okay, now I got it.  She was literally taking me back to what Doctor Clive had me doing, using the pacifier as a means to help relax me and get rid of my nervous anxiousness.  It was something I had stopped doing a long time ago.  Especially since I had now grown to resent that constant stupid pacifier being in my mouth more than ever.

“Suck…relax…suck…relax…suck…relax…”

It seemed to go on forever, and with my eyes closed, I was starting to become sleepy as she made sure I was concentrating on that pacifier.  Yeah, I was a bit sleepy, but it was also supposed to be my naptime, but still she never quit.  She finally said, “Keep going,” and her voice stopped, but even with my eyes closed I could tell she hadn’t moved away.  She was still watching me closely.

Suck…out…suck…out.  In…out…in…out.  I kept the motion going despite the lack of her voice.  Eventually though, I was not just growing sleepy, but my mouth was growing tired.  With her watching though, I forced myself to keep going.

All of a sudden I felt her grab my arm.  I stopped sucking and opened my eyes.

“Keep sucking,” she told me, and waited until she saw the constant motion of my pacifier resume.  “Come on,” she said as she pulled me to my feet.

I noticed she was still watching my pacifier closely.  And then she did something else unexpected.  Instead of me getting into bed, she climbed in instead.  She moved way over and rearranged the pillows so she could sit up.  “Keep sucking,” she said softly as I watched her settle herself in my bed.  “Come on,” she said.  “You know the position by now, but make sure you don’t stop sucking.”

I laid myself down on the bed, putting my head though against her breasts.  With a bit of difficulty, she reached out and grabbed that baby bottle.  She pulled the plug from my mouth and put the bottle to my lips instead.

“Suck…out…suck…out…suck…” she said softly, once again reestablishing the constant rhythmic motion that I had done with the pacifier.  The baby formula in the bottle began flowing into my mouth.  In, out, in, out.  I had to stop the motion pretty often though to swallow as she sat there and fed me the entire bottle, making sure I never once ceased to keep doing it the way she wanted.  It seemed like no time before that bottle was empty and she was pushing that paci back into my mouth.

“Suck…out…suck…out…” she whispered.  “Close your eyes.  Suck…out…suck…”  Her voice droned on for a while as she continued to hold me.  I don’t know how long her voice continued because believe it or not, I fell asleep.  Suck, out, suck, out.

When I woke up sometime later, not only was that pacifier still in my mouth, but I was still sucking with the same motion she had worked so hard to teach me earlier.  I was surprised by something else too.  Caitlin was still there in bed with me, holding me, while she was sound asleep.

Should I move?  Should I wake her?  I didn’t know what to do.  I did stop sucking though.  Sucking like that made me feel like more of a baby than ever, and I didn’t need that.  I laid there with my head still against her breast and peed into my diaper feeling the wetness wash all around me.  And still she slept.  I was just getting ready to try and move to a more comfortable position when she said, “You’re not sucking.”

Once again, I started the dumb rhythmic motion of the pacifier going in and out of my mouth.  And since she was still watching me so closely, I kept at it as she got me out of bed and sat me down in front of the TV to watch my afternoon cartoons.  I wanted to stop sucking, but she was staying way to close.  I had no choice but to keep at it, like it or not.

When playtime came after my cartoons, she didn’t play with me, but she did sit on the bed and continue to watch me closely.  Yes, I did my best to actually play with those toys.  With her watching like that, I didn’t have a choice.  I piled them together.  I tossed them around.  I did everything I could think of with them, which wasn’t much at all.  But I had no choice.  All while continuing to suck my pacifier the way she wanted.

Emily came home while I was…playing.  Right in front of me, Caitlin explained to her how she had been teaching me to suck properly.  Emily of course had to get down on the floor with me and watch my mouth just as carefully as Caitlin had for a few minutes.  Finally, she reached out and did that bopping thing on my nose again that I hated so much.  “Good baby!” she declared happily.

Since Caitlin had been too busy teaching me how to suck properly, she never had a chance to fix dinner for everyone like she had planned.  Instead, they ordered pizza…and ate it in front of me while I got to enjoy some delicious…baby food.  Oh joy.

 

My Funny Farm - Chapter 12 – Life Sucks – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 12 – Life Sucks – Part 1 of 2

 

It's amazing how aware I had become about the number of times I needed to pee during the day.  Yeah, of course I remember before this all started, having to go to the bathroom to pee, or do something else there.  I did it a number of times every day.  In truth, every few hours I guess.  But those trips to the bathroom were soon all but forgotten.  Now, I was more aware of that need than ever.

I wasn’t trying at all to hold back like they wanted me to, but I was no longer letting it build up in my system to that uncomfortable point that told me I had better get to the bathroom pretty darn soon.  Getting to the bathroom wasn’t going to happen, and using a toilet with those diapers taped on me was even less of a possibility.  The result was that while I was holding back, like they didn’t want me to, I was starting to get really good at peeing myself wherever I was and in whatever position I happened to be in at the time.  It was easier on me, but no, I wasn’t exactly proud of that ability.

Wednesday morning started out just like I expected, and just like every other day so far.  Emily woke me up way too early and Caitlin was soon there with my early morning bottle of baby formula.  I didn’t want the bottle, especially because I wanted them to remove that damn butt plug first.  Instead, they left the plug in, and plugged the bottle in between my lips.  I had no choice but to grab it and start drinking.  Despite my bedtime bottle last night, I did still have a bad taste in my mouth from getting it washed out with soap the day before, and they hadn’t even allowed me to brush my teeth before they put me to bed, so this new bottle helped somewhat by replacing some of the leftover soapy taste with baby formula taste.  Basically though, I was trading one bad flavor for another.

Emily kissed me on the forehead while I was drinking, said she loved me, and she was off to work where she could terrorize her students.  Caitlin stayed in my room and did some basic straightening up.  I simply laid there drinking, and wondering when she was going to take that plug out of my ass?  In the past, they had changed me while I was drinking my bottle.  Why not today?

Caitlin continued to putter around near me, despite how long it took me to drink that much baby formula.  Trust me, drinking anything from a baby bottle takes a long time, so she was in there with me for quite a while, and that plug was in my ass for a much longer time than necessary.  Finally, my bottle ran dry, and Caitlin watched to make sure I got the last dregs of what was in it.  Only then did she move in to check my diaper.

Hooray!  Finally!

“Those diapers really hold a lot!” she commented before actually touching anything.  “But I guess we better get that butt plug out of you.”

Hooray again!

She moved in close, but before she touched my diaper she put her face way too close to mine.  “We need to get some things straight!” she said sternly.  “First of all, what are you?”

Uh-oh!  I remembered going through this last night with Emily.  I paused, looking up at her for a few moments and saying nothing.  She didn’t move.  She just waited with her face close to mine.  I gave in.  “A baby,” I finally said.

“Good!  Now I want you to say, I’m nothing but a baby.”

I stared up at her, wondering what kind of game she was playing at now.

“I’m nothing but a baby,” she said again.  “Say it!”

I got the picture.  “I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Again!” she ordered.

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Keep saying it and don’t stop until I say you can.”

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing…”  As I spoke, I noticed her checking the time on her watch.  Why?  Was there some kind of set time I’d have to keep saying it?  I talked on though while she pulled open the tapes on my diaper and seemed to check it.

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a…”

“Roll over and keep saying it,” she told me.

I rolled over so she could get at my ass.  “I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a baby.”

I felt her groping to grab that plug, then she started pulling.

“I’m nothing but…  Mm!  Ow!  a baby.  Ow!  I’m nothing…  Uh!”  I breathed heavily as the darn plug finally pulled free.

“Keep talking and don’t stop!” she said as she slapped my ass hard.

“Ouch!”

She slapped it again.  “Keep saying it!”

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a baby.”

While I kept saying it, she had me roll back over.  She retaped that soggy diaper right back onto me again, then she checked her watch and stood there while she watched me.  My voice droned on an on.  “I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a baby.”

It seemed like forever before she let me stop.  “Good!” she finally declared as she checked her watch one last time.  “Now get your butt up and let’s get you some breakfast.”

What was going on?  She certainly wasn’t being very nice to me today.  As if my treatment was ever very nice.  I felt the rumblings in my backside before I made it to the kitchen.  I knew what was going to happen to my diaper long before it even started.  As I waddled in that huge, soaked diaper, I tried tightening my asshole again.  I could barely tell if I did anything with it at all.  Not good!  While Caitlin fussed around in the kitchen making breakfast for both of us, I sat in my seat and waited, having no choice but to concentrate on those feeling building rapidly in my backside that told me trouble was on the way.

Emily set two bowls on the table, a colorful child’s bowl for me with a colorful spoon in it, and a normal bowl for her.  Her bowl held breakfast cereal.  So did mine.  Except my cereal was made for a baby.  Yuck!  And I could tell that more yuck was going to happen very soon.  I had barely started eating when it started happening.  Once again, no matter how hard I tried, my asshole was too worn out and numb to hold back.  The shit started flooding out of me, basically unchecked.  I lifted my bottom off the chair to help it along, while Caitlin did nothing but smile evilly at me.  Damn woman!

When it was over, I had no choice but to slowly lower myself back down into the seat.  Yuck!  Yuck!  Yuck! 

“Finish eating!” she ordered.  Then she got up and took her bowl with her, and her bowl was still half full.  I noticed her eating while standing at the kitchen counter on the other side of the room.  Yeah.  I smelled pretty bad.  Hey!  I couldn’t help it.  My smell didn’t exactly help the taste of that baby cereal she was making me eat either.

As per the way my life seemed to be working lately, as soon as I finished eating, Caitlin brought me back to the bedroom where she cleaned me up and changed my diaper for another one with different kiddie designs on it.  After that, as I expected, I got plopped down on the living room floor in front of boring cartoons on the TV.  Caitlin brought me my second baby bottle of the day.  By this time I was expecting it to be that good tasting vanilla stuff, but when she handed it to me, the liquid inside was brown.  I tasted it.  Chocolate!  Mm!  I think I finished that bottle in record time, which earned me a reward – my pacifier stuck back in my mouth.

Yeah.  Life was so interesting and exciting.  I mentally buckled myself in for a very boring day.

As soon as one of those cartoons ended, as I knew would happen, I got sent back to my room for another playtime.  Oh joy.  At least my diaper was still dry.  Caitlin came in to check on me after just a few minutes, which I fully expected, but this time she stayed and watched me while she made my bed.  Yeah, I tried to pretend to play with that stuff, but really what could you do with a few tiny colorful blocks, a tiny stuffed doll, and a spindle that held a few rings?  You can’t do anything with them!

And then Caitlin did something completely unexpected.  She suddenly plopped herself down right in front of me.

“Hi baby,” she said.  “How’re you doin’?”

How was I doing?

“Here,” she said as she grabbed one of those colorful rings.  She set it on the floor between us.  I watched as she grabbed one of the small blocks and set it on top of the ring.  “Can you do that?” she asked, speaking as if I really was a baby.

I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but I grabbed another of the rings and stuck one of the blocks on top of it.

“Very good!” she praised me, reaching out and cupping my face with her hands for a moment.  “Let’s do it again.  She grabbed another ring and balanced it on top of the block that was on top of the first ring.  I copied what she did, and she praised me again.  She picked up that tiny stuffed doll, shook it and said.  “You are such a good baby!”  With that, she reached that doll out toward my face, touched my face with it and made a big kissing noise.  Then she laughed.

Unbelievably, Caitlin stayed on the floor with me and literally played with me for the rest of the time I was stuck there.  It had to be one of the strangest experiences of my life.  It was certainly memorable.  She was paying a lot of close attention to me.  In some ways, uncomfortably close attention since she seemed to touch me a lot.  But I guess that’s what she would do with a real baby…which I wasn’t!  I wondered if there was some way I could turn those dumb toys over to her.  There was no doubt she got more enjoyment from them than I did.

And then she had to go and spoil it.  “Are you wet?” she asked.

I pulled the plug from my mouth.  “No.  I’m fine,” I told her.  Yes, I was dry.  But she didn’t need to know that after two bottles already that morning the need to pee was getting to the point where I would be letting it out very soon.

“Mm!” she grunted as if she was suddenly angry with me.  “I thought so.  You’re holding back again!”

“Uh….”  I shoved the pacifier quickly back into my mouth, knowing that I had been found out.

She leaned her face practically into mine again.  “What are you?” she demanded.

“Uh…a baby,” I replied.

“Right!” she said.  “And how do you say that today?”

Now she was confusing me.  What did she mean?  She must have noticed the confused look on my face.  “I had you practicing it earlier.  What are you and how do you say it today?”

Okay, things were quickly getting weirder.  “Uh…I’m nothing but a baby?” I asked uncertainly.

“Are you telling me or asking?”

“Um…I’m nothing but a baby,” I said.

“Say it like you mean it!”

Why did she have to keep her face so close to mine.  I tried backing away, only to have her practically crawl over on top of me so she could keep her face too close to mine.  “Say it like you mean it!” she demanded.

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Again!”

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Keep saying it, and keep making it sound like you mean it!”

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing…”

She finally pulled her head back as I continued to talk, repeating that same stupid phrase over and over again.  I didn’t like this new game.  Just like I didn’t like my entire new life!”

“Keep talking!” she said as my voice droned on.  “I’m going out to get your bottle before your nap.  But I promise, if I don’t hear you keep saying it while I’m out there, I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap again.  Got that?  Now keep saying it…and mean it!”

Yeah, I absolutely didn’t like this new game at all.  I was still saying it loudly when she returned with another bottle for me.  I could tell from across the room that it held orange juice.  That was fine with me.  What wasn’t fine was that she was making sure I kept talking…as she pulled me to my feet and led me over to the bed.

“Keep saying it,” she told me as she pulled the covers back and had me lay down.

I was still saying it as she pulled the covers back over me.

“Okay,” she finally said.  “Just remember what you are, and start acting like it!”

She pushed the bottle nipple against my lips and rubbed it back and forth until I let it in.  I reached up and held the bottle myself.

“Your paci is here,” she said as she laid my pacifier back on the nightstand.  Except after she laid it down, she picked it up and seemed to examine it for a moment before setting it down again.

“I’ll check on you in a few minutes,” she told me.  “Now finish that bottle and go to sleep.”

She walked out and I was glad to be alone for a few minutes, even if it was alone with a baby bottle in my mouth.

My need to pee was now to the point where holding back was becoming uncomfortable.  I let loose and flooded that diaper, paying full attention to the now very familiar feeling of the pee washing all over me, filling my diaper with soggy wet warmth.  It was over soon and I laid there trying to feel the diaper soak all that wetness up, while I sucked the juice from my bottle, adding more wetness to my system that I knew would wind up in my diaper…eventually.

I’m nothing but a baby.  If I didn’t find a way out of this mess pretty soon, they were going to mentally reduce me to…uh…nothing but a baby…for real!

 

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My Funny Farm - Chapter 11 – What Are You? – Part 2 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 11 – What Are You? – Part 2 of 2

 

When I saw where Caitlin took me, I came close to screaming.  Did you know that it’s hard to scream with a pacifier in your mouth and keep from spitting the thing out.  I had to sit there in the car and wait for her to come around and unbuckle my seat belt for me before she let me climb out into the parking lot.  She made sure I was still sucking my pacifier, then she took me by the hand and led me into…duh, duh, dunnnnn!...the grocery store.  It’s a good thing I was dressed normally, other than my pacifier, or I would have wet myself just getting from the car to the door.  I did worry about if anyone could see that I was wearing a diaper under my pants though, and that’s despite the giveaway sign of the pacifier that Caitlin was making damn sure I kept in my mouth.  How the heck do you hide something like that?  As far as I know, you can’t.

Caitlin grabbed a shopping cart, and made me push the thing, cautioning me that she wanted me to keep both hands on the handle all the time.  Hey!  If I did that, how was I supposed to ask her any questions?  I needed to remove my pacifier to talk plainly, and that would mean I had to take at least one hand off the cart.  I didn’t ask that though.  I simply pushed the cart around behind her, trying to think of some way to hide the baby pacifier stuck between my lips.  Did I feel embarrassed?  You figure it out.

We certainly didn’t rush through the store, but then I never expected her to.  Not if she was mostly out to humiliate me.  But I did notice that as slowly as we were shopping, the cart was filling up with food.  Lots of food.  When I had lived alone, by myself, like I wanted to be again, I had grocery shopped for just me.  It didn’t take much food at all.  Now with Caitlin, Emily, and Bill there, I guess we needed a lot more food than just for me.

It seemed like Caitlin pulled stuff from all over every shelf in the store, and that included the baby aisle.  Baby food in all sorts of containers and in a multitude of colors got thrown into the cart.  And then she pulled a few other things off those baby aisle shelves as well.  I was shocked to see her reach up and grab a colorful plastic set of baby dishes along with an assortment of colorful baby spoons to go with them.  I wonder who she got those thing for.  Nobody I knew.  I didn’t have to wonder though what I would soon be eating off of, and what utensils I would be using to eat with.

Aaannd…of course, two aisles later, I had to put up with her pulling my pants down, this time to my ankles, while she did another very thorough diaper check on me.

“You’re holding back!” she complained.  “Stop that!”

I quickly pulled the plug from my mouth.  “I’m not,” I told her.  “I just don’t have to go yet.”

“And I don’t believe you!” she told me.

“I don’t care!” I argued.  “I don’t have to go.”

“It’s been almost two and a half hours since we left home,” she told me.  “You can’t go that long without wetting yourself.”

“Damn it!” I cursed.  “How would you know?  I said I don’t have to go!”

She seemed to get very angry.  “Do you want me to remove those pants you’re wearing and let you finish shopping in just that diaper?  Trust me, I’ll do it, with no problem at all!”

I looked at her and I knew she wasn’t kidding.  In fact, she probably wanted to do it.  I also remembered she was supposed to be into BDSM like Emily was, so she had even more reason to want to do it.  “No,” I told her contritely.  “I’m sorry.”

“I am so tempted to take those pants away from you!” she told me angrily.

“I said I’m sorry.  This is all just…different.  Not to mention, very embarrassing.”

“Tough!” she said.  “Get used to it.  This is your new life for the foreseeable future.”

Ugh!  I knew she was right, and believe it or not, the damn police would back her up on it.  Fortunately, she pulled my pants up for me again and buckled my belt.

“Get that paci back in your mouth and this time suck on it!” she said threateningly.  “And so help me, the next time I check you, you better be wetter than you are now.”

“The next time?” I asked.

“Before we leave this store!”

I got the picture.  My pacifier went back between my lips where I chewed on it instead of sucking, and my hands went back to the cart handle.  Since she was threatening me with…I don’t know what, I figured I had better go ahead and wet myself again, despite the fact that we were out in public and there were lots of people who could see me doing it.  Yes, I had been holding back, ever since the doctor’s office.  She just didn’t need to know that.  Anyway, like it or not, I let loose in my pants and soaked myself again, right there in the store, praying that nobody would notice.

We traipsed through the final four aisles of the store before heading to the checkout.  By that time, I was sure she wasn’t going to bother checking me again, but once again I was wrong.  She chose a checkout lane where someone else was ahead of us.  And then she turned to me and stared unbuckling my pants again.  I simply couldn’t believe it.

“A skirt would make this a lot easier!” she complained as she fought to unbutton my pants.

A skirt…in the store.  Perish the thought!

In no time my pants were down to my knees again.  Her groping didn’t last very long.  “It’s about time,” she muttered.  “I knew you were holding back.”

I said nothing.  Especially with that pacifier in my mouth.  She pulled my pants back up and ignored the looks from the other shoppers around us.  I ignored their looks too, even though I was nothing but completely humiliated by the experience.

Eventually, we paid for our huge load of groceries, and I pushed the cart out to the car where we both unloaded the groceries into the trunk of her car.  She put me into the backseat and buckled me in before she herself took the cart to a place designed to hold them.  And finally, she drove me home.

It was over.  Or so I thought.  What I didn’t count on was Caitlin discussing everything that had happened with Emily and then both of them phoning James and Ashley about it.  I eventually figured out that a consensus had been reached.  They were going to punish me again.  Damn!  I didn’t want that butt plug shoved back into my ass.

It was different this time though.  Right after dinner, Emily and Bill both ganged up on me at the same time.  They tied my hands behind my back and dragged me into my bathroom.  Emily did something with my jaw that forced me to open my mouth, at which point she shoved something into it and stuck it between my teeth, forcing me to open my mouth even wider.  When she removed her hand, my mouth was stretched wide open, and I couldn’t close it.  Forget trying to ask what they were doing.  I couldn’t!  All I could make were noises.

“You were bad baby!” Caitlin told me sternly.  “Very, very bad.  Not only did you argue with me, but I heard you use a very bad swear word.  That’s not allowed.  So for that, you’re getting your mouth washed out with soap.

I was shocked.  “Ah!”  I couldn’t say anything else.  My mind desperately tried to remember what swear word I had used, but I couldn’t remember it.  Whatever it was, it had probably come out when I argued with her in the grocery store about checking my diaper.

Before I knew it, Emily was back, and she shoved a wet washcloth into my mouth and started scrubbing all around in there.  But the washcloth wasn’t just wet, it was thickly covered in soap, which tasted even worse than the baby formula they kept making me drink.  I tried to fight them, but with my hands tied behind me, and that thing keeping my mouth wide open, and Bill holding onto me, there was nothing I could do.  Emily went at me hard and scrubbed and scrubbed until I felt soapy bubbles constantly dripping down not just my chin, but more so down my throat.  I coughed and gagged, completely miserable, and she kept scrubbing, doing nothing but making it worse.

Finally, she removed the washcloth.  Then she went in and removed whatever she had put in my mouth to keep it open.  I saw some kind of black rubber block.  She took me by the hand and pulled me over to my bed.  It was earlier than usual, but she removed my diaper and lathered me up thoroughly with baby lotion and powder.  Then horror of horrors, she and Caitlin rolled me over onto my stomach and they inserted that damn butt plug again.  I was turned over and they pulled up that thick nighttime diaper between my legs and fastened it.  I had no doubt that once again I was going  to be spending another sleepless night with that thing in my ass.

Emily leaned over me and pulled my pacifier from my mouth.  “We all have to get used to treating you like nothing but a baby,” she said.  “And you’re going to have to get used to behaving and considering yourself to be nothing but a baby.  All the time!  You need to get that through your thick head.  You’re not an adult anymore.  Not as far as we’re concerned.  You’re nothing but a baby, and you’re going to stay a baby, and nothing else.  Now tell me, what are you?”

She stared at me, waiting for an answer.  I didn’t give her one.

“What are you?” she insisted.

I still said nothing.

“Do you want me to wash your mouth out with soap again?”

My mouth still tasted absolutely horrible.  “No,” I replied.

“Then tell me what you are.  And it better be the right answer.”

She wasn’t going to let up on me.  “A baby,” I finally replied.

“What are you?” she asked again.

“A baby.  Okay?”

“Not okay!  What are you?”

I sighed.  “A baby.”

“Good.  Remember that.  I think we’re going to all have to keep reminding you of that fact for a while.  Maybe it will help you remember your place from now on.  It’ll probably help to remind us of that fact as well.  What are you?” she asked one more time.

“A baby,” I replied.

She nodded.  “No extra loving tonight.  We’re not going to hold you to feed you your bottle.  You can lay there and hold it yourself.”  She leaned down and kissed my forehead.  “Night-night, baby.  Caitlin will bring you your bottle in a few minutes.”

 

My Funny Farm - Chapter 11 – What Are You? – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 11 – What Are You? – Part 1 of 2

 

Please remind me to never get punished again.  Please!  Spending all night with a butt plug shoved up your ass is not fun.  After a long time in there, the nuisance of the thing finally died down to a dull roar and I was able to get some sleep, which I doubt lasted long since I woke up to pee, before trying to get back to sleep again, only to wake up to pee, before going…you get the picture.  But as always, it was all night.

Little Miss Emily was there to wake me up bright and early Tuesday morning…and I do mean early!  Ugh!  I was sleeping for heaven’s sake.  And why did she have to seem so…uh…chipper about it?  I certainly wasn’t happy to be getting up.  I wasn’t happy having a butt plug shoved up my ass all night, I wasn’t happy about being in my ridiculous position, and I especially wasn’t happy that they weren’t allowing me to kill myself, something I thought I deserved now more than ever!

“Good morning baby,” Emily said so, ugh!, nicely to me as she turned the light on and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.  “Time to wake up.”

If I wasn’t so worried that they might punish me for it, I would have killed her!  That is, until she unfastened my diaper right away, then rolled me over, and went to work removing that darn plug.  Ouch!  That hurt to get out.  And that’s despite how totally numb by asshole was by that time.  Trust me, stretching it that much wider hurt!  Did I say ouch?  Well, I meant it!  I tried tightening the muscles around my asshole, and totally failed.  I was guessing that fact didn’t exactly bode well for me.  And of course, Emily rolled me back over again and refastened my way too wet diaper right back on me again.

“No leaks!” she said happily.  “And those tapes that restick are marvelous!”

Caitlin rushed into the room.  “How’s it going?” she asked quickly.

“All done,” Emily told her.

“Oh good.  Thanks Em,” Caitlin replied.  “Any leaks from that one diaper?”

“None at all.  It’s pretty wet,” Emily replied, “but it still looks like it can hold  a bit more.”

“Good!” Caitlin said.  “That’s one we know will work then.”  She looked at me.  “Just lay there baby,” she told me.  “I’ll get your morning bottle.”

My morning bottle.  Oh goodie.  I was jumping for joy.  NOT!  Now if my morning bottle was a bottle of bourbon, maybe I could get a bit more excited about it.  In fact, I’d be a lot more excited about it, and willing to drink it.

Caitlin rushed off while Emily pulled the covers back over my naked body and carried that butt plug into the bathroom, a room I only seemed to go into anymore in the evenings, shortly before they put me to bed for the night.  And the only reason they let me in there was probably because there wasn’t a bathtub in the living room.

Emily finally came out of the bathroom just before Caitlin came back with my baby bottle that wasn’t bourbon.  Darn!  Emily leaned over and kissed me.  “Bye baby,” she said.  “Have fun today.”

Fun!  What did she know about it?  This was probably all fun for her.  In fact, I was sure it was.  Wasn’t she the one that was into that BDSM stuff?  And then I remembered that Caitlin was supposed to be into it too.  They were both probably enjoying the heck out of what they were doing to me.  I figured I better drink that damn bottle before they decided to punish me for something else.  I’d had more than enough of that darn butt plug for one lifetime.  I put the bottle to my lips and took a pull.  Baby formula.  My usual morning drink.  Ugh!

Was it the drinking, or just the fact that the miserable butt plug had been stuck in my ass all night?  Either way, my overly stimulated, yet somewhat numb system, decided that it was time to finally do something I didn’t want it to…especially not into my diaper.  Yup!  You guessed it.  I pooped myself, quite seriously, while lying there on my back drinking a baby bottle full of baby formula.  And trust me, I tried holding back and got nowhere.  My ass was still too exhausted.  It all just came out of me.  By the time I was done, I was far more miserable than I had been all night, and I really, really needed that bottle I was drinking to be bourbon instead of what it was.  I really, really needed a diaper change too.  As if I needed to mention that.

When Caitlin came in, she immediately sniffed the air.  “Somebody made a big stinkie today.  Didn’t you!” she said as she took my baby bottle from me.  What did she have for bopping me playfully on my nose?  It was annoying!  And I had to wonder what she expected after keeping that plug in me all night.  Or I guess maybe she did expect it.  Just like I expected to get my diaper changed.

Didn’t happen.

Nope, she pulled me out of bed and forced me to figure out how to get into the kitchen all by myself, despite that load in my diaper.  It was only after I was almost to my chair that I figured out that maybe crawling would have been the easier option.  When I got there, I certainly didn’t want to sit down in that messy diaper, but I wasn’t given the choice.  I lowered myself into the chair very, very slowly, feeling every bit of that mush in my bottom squishing against me as I sat.  And of course, they gave me more of that damn baby cereal for breakfast.  The very last thing I needed.  The cereal tasted awful, and I smelled awful.  What a combination!

Trust me, so far, this day wasn’t starting out to be the best for me.

Things didn’t start to look up for me until after breakfast when Caitlin took me back to my room (yeah, I should have crawled, but I forgot) and cleaned me up.  I found out then what was in another of those boxes that had arrived yesterday.  More diapers.  This one wasn’t nearly as thick as that night diaper they had put me in, but it was still a lot thicker than the ones I was used to wearing.

“We’ll just see how well that holds up today,” she told me.

How well it holds up?  What was she planning on doing to it?  I realized that was the wrong question.  What was she planning on having me do to it?

Once diapered, she dragged me into the bathroom where she surprised me by shaving my face again.  She and Emily had just shaved it last night, but now she was running my razor over it again.  Why?  I wasn’t about to complain though and since they had shaved me last night too, the process didn’t last very long.

This time I was given one of Caitlin’s loose dresses to wear.  If I hadn’t been too embarrassed about possibly liking it, I would have told her how pretty it was and how thrilled I was to wear it.  Instead, I did my best to look like I wasn’t happy about wearing the thing at all.  Um…did I mention it was pretty?  But was I pretty wearing it?  Don’t make me laugh!

I was soon sat down on the floor of the living room to watch those awful excuses for cartoons again.  And…my day began, just like all the other days I had been forced to go through already.  One thing, then playtime.  Another thing, then playtime.  My usual…for my funny farm.

Things didn’t change for me until after lunch.  Caitlin took me back to the bedroom where she changed me into a completely different looking diaper.  It was still fairly thick, but somehow it felt very different to wear.  With that done, I was sent to my corner to play as usual while she disappeared.

I had been in there a while by myself before Caitlin finally came back.  I noticed right away that she had changed her clothes and looked a lot nicer than she had earlier.  This time when she came in, I soon realized that she wasn’t there to just check on me or drag me off to do something else.

“Okay baby,” she said happily.  Let’s get you ready.

Ready?  My very soul decided to panic.  And then I remembered that it was Tuesday, my day to see Doctor Clive.  Trust me, I was very happy to see Caitlin pulling my usual, normal, clothes out of my closet.

No, don’t even think it.  I didn’t get to dress myself at all.  She literally dressed me in everything as if I was a total…um…baby.  It was great to be wearing my clothes again, especially with shoes and socks.  It just wasn’t great to still have that diaper on under my pants, and a wet diaper now at that.  And Caitlin knew it was wet because before changing my clothes she had done a thorough diaper check and praised me for not holding back.  Ha!  Fooled her!  I had been holding back.  I just didn’t hold back too much.  Holding back too much would have been pointless.

Eventually, she put a sweater on over my shirt and dragged me out the door.  Hello my old faithful truck that’s been parked in the garage and not used for way too long.  Goodbye old truck.  I was soon out in the driveway where Caitlin put me into the back seat of her car and buckled my seatbelt for me herself.  “Make sure you keep that paci in your mouth!” she told me firmly.  “Don’t let me look back and catch you without it!”

I had to wonder if that counted as cruelty to…uh…babies.  A minute later, she was backing out of the driveway.

Yes, like Emily had done, I was forced to keep that pacifier in my mouth not just the entire time she drove me there, but also walking from the car into the doctor’s office, and also sitting there waiting to see the doctor.  But eventually I was called and went in for my session.  It felt strange walking in there.  It felt strange because of the thick wet diaper I was wearing under my pants.  It felt strange because of the darn pacifier still in my mouth.  And it felt strange because for once I was going into to see the doctor alone, while Caitlin stayed out in the waiting room…waiting.

“How are you doing Craig?” Doctor Clive greeted me kindly as I walked in.  Was my thick, too wet diaper showing too much?  She didn’t seem to react to it.  I plopped my soggy bottom down into one of her chairs and removed the stupid pacifier from my mouth.

“How am I doing?” I replied.  “I’m angry, confused, upset, bewildered, and a whole lot of other things.  I don’t understand this life at all.  It’s not really one thing, and it’s not something else.  I feel like the proverbial round peg that someone is trying to shove into a hole that was never designed to hold any peg at all.”

She laughed.  “I’m sure it must feel that way.”

“Well trust me, it does!”

“How are you adjusting to it?” she asked.

“Adjusting?  How can anyone adjust?  Everything seems to be set up to drive me insane…more insane!” I corrected myself.  “I can’t get used to any of it.”

“No?  Like what?” she asked, seeming to be interested.

I had to think of something, so I started with a biggie for me.  “They make me take two naps during the day, and then I’m put to bed so early every night that I can’t sleep.”

“Craig, you yourself know that babies sleep a lot during the day, and unfortunately, they don’t always sleep all night.”

“That may be true,” I told her, “but then they go and wake me up too early every morning, when I’m actually managing to sleep!”

She chuckled at that.  “It may seem a little early,” she told me, “but did you ever think that there might be more to your daily schedule than you think?  I helped them put that schedule together for you.  A schedule that was designed to put as much consistency and routine in your life as possible.  Don’t you think that maybe there could be a reason for getting you up at that time?  Maybe you should think about that.”

“What reason?”

She shook her head.  “Figure it out.”

“Figure it out?  If there’s a reason, then why can’t you just tell me?”

“Craig, therapy doesn’t work that way.  “I can suggest things to you or point you in certain directions, but I can’t give you the answers.  Only you can come to those conclusions.  You have to figure those things out for yourself, otherwise, those answers are useless because they wouldn’t be your answers, answers that specifically mean something to your life.  Otherwise, you won’t make any progress at all.”

I was even more frustrated.  “If you won’t tell me anything, then what the heck am I doing here?  What good will this do me?  Just like this stupid therapy as everyone keeps calling it.  What good is it?  It’s useless.  It’s stupid.  Not to mention, why should they even bother to have such a strict schedule for everything?”

“Craig, I spent a lot of time with James and Ashley while you were in the city behavioral center.  There’s a reason behind everything in your schedule.  And no, of course you can’t follow it exactly every day.  For example, you’re here talking to me now instead of doing…whatever else you would normally do at this time.  There are things built in there to alter it from day to day depending on the situation.  You yourself have a way to alter it every day, depending on what rewards or punishments you might get.”

“Alter it?  How?  As far as I can tell, everything is scheduled and timed down to the minute…every day.  Except I can’t always tell what time it is because they removed the clock from my room, I’m guessing because babies can’t tell time.”

“Why are you so concerned about the time?” she asked.  “What difference does it make?”

“What difference?  Did it ever occur to you that I simply might want to know?”

“Craig.  Maybe you’re too ruled by that clock.  Try to enjoy what you can while you’re doing…whatever it is that you’re doing.”

“Whatever I’m doing?  Most likely playing.  Or I’m supposed to be playing.  But playing with the toys they gave me is simply impossible.  You want to know the truth?  I sit there and don’t play with them, and then whenever they come into the room, that’s the only time I even touch those stupid things.  And the worst part of it all is that playtime seems to be the most common thing on my schedule.  I do this, then playtime.  I do that, then playtime.  All day long.  There’s too much of it, especially since it’s impossible to play with toys like that.”

Doctor Clive leaned forward.  “Craig.  Think for a minute.  Since there’s so much playtime in your schedule, is it possible that there’s a reason for it?”

“Of course there is.  To give me something else to do instead of spending all day watching the most useless cartoons on the planet.”

She nodded then leaned forward.  “Craig, this week, I want you to spend some time thinking about your playtime and those toys they gave you.  And try to consider that there’s a reason for all of it.”

“What reason?”

“Ah-ah!  I told you, you need to figure it out for yourself.”

“Ugh!  Useless!” I complained.  “Just like this entire…situation.”

She chuckled.  “I have no doubt that you feel that way now.  It’s going to take some time for you to get used to it all.  Maybe a lot of time.  Be patient with it.”

“Be patient?  It’s more like being in prison…except that in prison I’m sure they wouldn’t feed you awful tasting baby food and baby formula to drink.”

“Be patient and try to go with the flow.  Try to get into the feeling of being an actual infant.  Let those simple feelings wash over you and enjoy them.”

“Huh!  The only feeling that washes over me is the feel of my own pee soaking my bottom a dozen times a day…or more.  And I can’t even count how many times it happens during the night.  Diapers are a lot to try to get used to.  You can’t get used to them.”

“I have no doubt it’s going to take time,” she told me.  “Just try to do the best you can…and think about things.  Like I said, there’s a reason for every bit of it.”

“Well, it sure doesn’t seem like it to me, except to embarrass and humiliate the shit out of me.”

She chuckled again.  “I have no doubt it’s going to do that.”  She leaned back in her chair.  “Now, tell me, what is it about your wife that you miss so much that you think you can’t live without her?”

My head was spinning by the time I walked out of her office.  Caitlin was still sitting in the waiting room…uh, waiting for me.  She got up as I approached her.

“How did it go?”

“Frustrating!” I complained.  “She won’t tell me anything!  She just says I need to figure it all out myself, whatever that means.  Basically, she’s no help at all.”

“Sorry to hear that,” she told me.  “Hold still.”

With that, I nearly lost my mind when she grabbed my belt and started to unbuckle it right there in the doctor’s waiting room.  There were other people around!  “What are you doing?” I complained as my hands tried to stop her.

“Hold still!” she commanded.  “And babies don’t worry about things like what I’m doing.  You’re a baby now.  Get used to it!”

I simply couldn’t believe it.  I wanted in the worst way to fight back.  To stop her.  To do anything at all to not go along with what I had no doubt was about to happen.  But she had reminded me that I had agreed to this…therapy, and if I didn’t go along with all of it, they would quickly haul me right back to that nut house of an insane asylum, where they had hired high school kids to impersonate doctors.  I forced myself to stand there and let her pull my pants down to my knees, exposing my diaper, and then let her grope me thoroughly to see how wet I was.

“You’re still just as wet as when I got you dressed earlier,” she decided.  “You haven’t wet any more at all.”

“I can’t go that often,” I told her.

“Yes you can!  Learn!” she argued back.

Fortunately, she pulled my pants back up for me and we got out of there.  Trust me, I was ready to go home after that.

Except, we didn’t go home.