The Bet
By Karen Singer
Chapter 62 (Thursday – week 9 Part 5 of 5)
Boring! That’s the best description Chad had for being once again stuck
up on his perch in the corner.
Boring! The afternoon had pretty
much flown by and after carrying his male stuff up from her car and stacking
the boxes back in his apartment, he had been allowed to shower and then change
back into his maid’s uniform. And then
Mel had requested that he make one more nice meal for her. So he had.
And now he was once again stuck up on his perch – perched like a bird –
in his corner. Out of the way while she
ate.
But now his mind
had more time to remember all the boxes he had carried back into his
apartment. As empty as his apartment
still was, it was now much fuller than before – only because of the boxes that
he had carried up but hadn’t been allowed to open yet. What was in them? He tried to remember. His mind played with remembering all his male
pants, and shirts, and shoes, and socks, and underwear of course. Were they all still wrapped up in Mel’s
plastic wrap as they had been before they were removed from his closet? And what about his old male wallet, which box
was that in?
He was looking
forward to exploring all those boxes that now occupied a bit more of the empty
floor space in his apartment. It would
be like Christmas!
His attention was
suddenly grabbed by the sound of Mel walking out of the kitchen, coming up
behind him. His attention remained
riveted on her as she came up close.
“Dinner was good
again,” she said.
Chad immediately felt a touch of
pride. It was only lately that she had
been passing him these little complements.
“But I barely
tasted it,” she finished.
Chad’s joy suddenly turned to
worry. What had he done wrong?
“Not because you
did anything wrong,” she said, “but because I was too preoccupied with
thinking.”
Chad immediately wondered what she
could have been thinking about. And
obviously the dinner he had prepared wasn’t good enough to hold her attention.
“Thinking about
you!” she finished.
Me? Chad’s interest focused even
harder.
Mel paced back
and forth behind him for a few moments.
“Okay!” she finally said rather emphatically. “I admit it!
I’m worried about you possibly winning.
Okay? As much as I still think
I’m going to win… or maybe hope I’m going to win… I’m still worried about
what’s going to happen if I lose… and you win instead.” Her voice quieted a bit. “I can’t stop thinking about it… and worrying
about it.”
Worrying? Chad turned his head to ask…
“Don’t you
move!” she lashed. “Get that face buried
back in that corner!”
Chad immediately stuck his face
back into the corner – harder than before!
Obviously, this was one of those times when she didn’t want an answer.
It was a while
before Mel found her voice again, and the time in-between held only a deathly,
desperate silence. “Let’s face it,” she
finally said, “I’m going to miss you – if you win! I’m going to miss all the crazy, stupid,
oddball, idiotic, and downright weird things about you. Not to mention your cooking and
cleaning. And… I’m afraid I’m going to
miss pushing you around… forcing you to do the most stupid and outrageous
things I can think of… all for my own amusement. Who would ever think that I would come to
love doing something like that? Strange…
I guess.”
Silently, and
unmoving, Chad
listened to her every word carefully.
She was going to miss him? She
was going to miss dominating him? But
the overall theme that he was hearing was that she seemed to be admitting that
there was a really good chance she would lose.
And that alone should have made him feel good. But there was something about the way she was
saying it that made him feel sad instead… for her… or for him?
Mel went from
pacing to wandering around the room as her thoughts roamed over all the little
things that were taxing her brain.
Again, it was a while before any words tumbled out of her mouth. “I don’t know why,” she finally said. “I have no idea how it ever happened. But somehow I started linking you to all my
dreams for the future. And I know…
that’s crazy! It’s stupid! And there’s no real reason for it. But… somehow, I did.”
Chad had no idea what she was
talking about.
“Somehow, I
started picturing you as my personal little servant. And somehow, that image was enough to push me
toward finally moving on with my life.
And yet, for some dumb reason I can’t explain, without you as that
servant, I want nothing more than to stay right here – stay right here in the
same old rut I’ve been in for years now.”
Mel realized she
had said too much. And what she was
saying to him probably made no sense at all.
But she simply felt the need to talk about it with someone… or in this
case, to someone… and Gloria wasn’t around.
So maybe, she was just trying to make sense of it all to herself. She paused in her thinking. As long as she was spilling her guts where he
could hear…
“I want you to
answer something for me. Don’t turn your
head when you speak, just keep it buried in that corner! I don’t want to see your face, I just want to
hear your words… and… I need an honest answer… please.”
She paused again
to collect her thoughts. “You’re not
anything like I would expect someone like you would be. For one thing… you’re not gay. At least, I don’t think you are. I guess we never really explored that, did we. But you’re also kind… and sweet… and caring –
more so than I ever would have imagined.
And… you’re smart! That alone has
me stumped. How can someone who wants
the things you seem to want, be so damn smart?
Don’t answer that!” she added quickly.
“That’s not my question.”
Chad hadn’t even thought about
answering that one. He hadn’t even
realized it was a question until she had told him not to answer. But what was the purpose of all the
complimentary things she was saying about him now?
“It doesn’t add
up,” she finally said a bit more quietly.
“It doesn’t add up.” She took a
big breath to calm herself. “So what I
guess I’m really asking now is…” And how
was she going to put this into words? “I
guess… I guess I need to know if… Damn it!
Tell me, is it right? Is it
morally right for me to turn you into a silly, stupid, simpering servant… hold
you totally under my thumb that way for a very long time… make you do the most stupid, outrageous
things imaginable… Is it right for me to
do that to you? Is it morally right?”
She stared at his
back, waiting for an answer. But he
remained silent. She walked up behind
him and put her hand lightly on his shoulder.
“Can you answer that honestly?
Can you tell me how you feel about it?
Is it right? Is it morally right
for me to do that to you if you lose?”
Chad started to turn his head
toward her, but he remembered she didn’t want him to do that so he snapped it
right back into place in the corner and closed his eyes. How was he going to answer that? Morally right? That was a tough question. But he had a feeling, she wasn’t asking the
right question. “I think…” he finally
said, “that ‘morally’ doesn’t fit. It
doesn’t apply. You want to know if you
should do it. You want to know if you
should be that dominant… and expect me to be that submissive as well. And I guess, the answer is…” And he paused as he tried to consider the
best way to reply.
Mel’s hand, still
resting on his shoulder tightened, as if she was afraid to hear what he would
have to say.
It was Chad’s
turn to take a deep breath before continuing.
“I’m submissive. Very submissive
I guess. I’ve spent every day of my life
trying to hide what I really am inside.
I’ve spent my whole life trying to act like everybody else… like
everyone expects me to act. And when you
do it your whole life, I guess you get pretty good at it. But the truth is, I guess I’m not like
everybody else. I have these… yearnings…
these dreams… of something else. Things
that everyone else thinks are morally wrong.
But to me… to me…” It was hard to
admit. “To me, these things are not
wrong. These are the things I dream
about. These are the things I yearn
for. These are the things… I want. For these last two months, I’ve been doing
what very few people get to do. I’ve
been living my dream. You want to know
if it’s morally wrong? For everyone else
it would be – without a doubt. But we’re
talking about me… you and me… and to me, it’s what I dream about.”
Mel listened
carefully to his words. It took a few
moments longer for all of it to sink into her… for her to make sure she fully
understood. Or at least, think she
understood. “She squeezed his shoulder
one more time. “So I don’t have to worry
about being… cruel to you?”
He started to
turn his head in surprise, but he quickly turned it back again. “Cruel?
I guess there are different definitions of that. But basically, I’d say no, you don’t have to
worry about that. I… I guess I like all
that part too. It’s like… it’s all part
of the package. I guess… it all kind of
goes with the territory.”
He couldn’t see
it, but she nodded. She understood. She thought.
“Thanks,” she said quietly. She
felt a bit more relieved – at least over everything she had put him through for
the last two months. But now… how about
the future? “So… if I win… and you lose…
you won’t mind so much doing anything I order you to do? Continuing on with this way of life… or
worse?”
He started to
shake his head before stopping himself again.
“No, of course not. It’s all part
of the dream.”
His dream. But she remembered that he had other dreams
as well that she knew about – and he didn’t know she knew. He had dreams of being a normal person as
well. He had dreams of… self-respect. Dreams of having friends. And dreams of having a regular life! And she didn’t know how to solve any of those
mysteries for him to make him want to stay with her – no matter what.
And that left her
facing her one biggest fear. It was
still very possible that she could lose this bet. And consequently – lose him. And right now, she didn’t want to think about
that anymore. “Get down off of that
thing now,” she said quietly. “I’ll get
you your dinner.”
It was the most
intense evening either of them could imagine.
Not for what they did. Not for
what they said. But for what they didn’t
say… or do. Chad ate his dinner and cleaned the
kitchen, while Mel made sure he kept drinking from his bottles. Chad did what laundry he could and
straightened the house, while Mel made sure he kept drinking from his
bottles. All evening long, the only
thing Mel seemed to be concerned with was keeping Chad drinking and getting his
diapers to leak as soon as possible. And
every time they did start to leak, she gleefully added a few more minutes to
the reward time total that he really cared nothing about anymore.
And all evening
long, while there wasn’t something Chad could ever put his finger on,
the tension in the air seemed to be so thick he could cut it with a knife! And this time, the night went on… and on… and
on. Much longer than they usually went in
the evenings. Sixteen minutes of reward
time became eighteen… then twenty… then twenty three. An eternity of bliss. An eternity that, for the first time, he
still couldn’t care less about.
It was shortly
after eleven when his reward time hit the twenty three minute mark. And it was only then that Mel stared at him
for what seemed like forever – right after he had announced that he was leaking
again. She glanced at the clock before
looking back at him with a small smile on her face and announcing the
additional three minutes. Chad
saw something in her face change again then, as if a massive weight of
inevitability had just descended on her.
“It’s time,” she
said quietly… and resignedly. She nodded
toward the bedroom. “Go protect the bed.”
Chad was slow to curtsey as he
watched her face. But he turned to carry
out her wishes. A short while later, he
was removing his maid’s dress – for the last time, as Mel watched carefully. Finally naked except for his chastity device
and his bra covering his glued-on breast forms, he climbed up on the bed,
expecting her to tie him up. But she
didn’t. Instead, she opened her drawer
and pulled out her colorful collection of dildos and placed them all out on her
nightstand where he could reach them.
“You’ve got twenty three minutes,” she told him quietly. “I know you’ll enjoy that.”
Chad still didn’t care that much
about the reward time he had. But now
something puzzled him… because it didn’t seem right. “Mistress,” he started questioningly. “How about you? This is the last night, you don’t want me to
pleasure you first?”
A small smile
crept to Mel’s lips. Even now he was
still thinking about her before he thought about himself. “Not tonight Sissy.” She shook her head. “As wonderful as it sounds, I’m just… not in
the mood.”
Chad understood, or at least he
thought he did. It was the way she had
been acting all day. It was what the
underlying tension had been about all evening as well. Because in just a little while, it would all
be over.
“I don’t need
this tonight either,” he replied.
Mel grunted a
small laugh. “But I want you to do
it. I want to remember seeing you do
this one more outrageous thing. And I
want to remember seeing you doing it to yourself.”
Chad stared back at her for a few
more moments before accepting what she wanted.
One more tiny piece of humiliation.
He nodded. “Has my time started
yet?” he asked, knowing that it probably had.
“Not until I say
it’s started,” Mel replied.
She was going to stretch this out. He could see that now. For a little while only, he still didn’t have
much choice. Fortunately, this was
something that was very pleasurable for him… now. This was something his body now craved. He looked over the choice of “weapons” she
had left him and selected one. He lubed
it up carefully and then took a moment to stick more lube inside his
asshole. Laying on his back, he pulled
his legs up toward his chest and carefully lined up the dildo with his hole,
and slowly pushed.
“Time starts
now!” Mel suddenly said.
Chad heard, but
his focus was far more on the wonderful feelings of the intruder now slowly
entering his sensitive rear end. In… and
out. In… and out. Wonderful feelings. Fantastic feelings. In… and out.
Faster and faster. Harder and
harder. He was totally unaware of the
building wetness that now covered his stomach from his almost continuously
leaking penis… wetness that soon started dripping down his side onto the
diapers protecting her bed. In… and
out. He was soon lost in the ecstasy of
the feelings as he worked and worked to bring his body to that place he knew
he’d never be able to reach – without Mel helping him.
Her eyes never
left him. He looked so… ridiculous. Here was a man… sort of. But not a man anymore. She had made him… something else. Something… less. He no longer thought about his silly little
man thing, his penis, as a sexual tool.
Instead, he was totally hooked on being fucked instead… even if it was
in a place that was never meant for that kind of activity. It was still the closest thing he could get
to female style sex. No longer allowed
to be a man. More female than male
now. And he was going crazy trying to
achieve an orgasm from it. Would he do it? Would he make it on his own? He had done it before, but only with her help
– only with her whispering derogatory twisted thoughts into his brain while he
was being fucked. And since she was only
being a bystander tonight, she was betting he wouldn’t make it. But he still had a long time to keep trying.
Chad once again got to that high
level of desperation, and once again he knew he wasn’t going to get any
further. He kept at it though because it
felt so good. But eventually, the frustration
simply got too much for him and he slowed down… almost to a stop.
“Keep going!”
Mel commanded. “You’ve still got ten
more minutes!”
Chad shook his head, “It’s not…”
“I said keep going!”
“I said keep going!”
She wasn’t
allowing him to quit tonight – despite the fact that he couldn’t get
there. He took a moment to pull the tool
out of him and select a new one. Then he
changed position so that he was on his hands and knees before he stuck the new
one up inside of him. If felt different,
but as before, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to achieve the orgasm he now
craved. Not without Mel’s help.
Slowly and almost
methodically, Chad
shoved and pulled on the toy up inside of him.
He enjoyed it greatly, but after a while, it all just became one muted
feeling. But Mel didn’t let him stop
until he had used all of his twenty three minutes. And by then, he was grateful to be able to
pull the thing out of his ass and leave it out!
He was a
mess. His entire chest was wet with
pee. His legs and arms were splattered
with it. And he could tell that the
diapers under him were wet as well. But
he had been there for over twenty minutes, leaking fairly constantly, what else
could he expect? He was grateful though
when Mel told him to lay on his back and she would clean him up.
Mel pulled a
diaper through his legs then up and over him before she went to the bathroom to
get a washcloth and towel to clean him with.
He was still peeing helplessly and somewhat profusely. Almost lovingly, she washed most of his body
– the splattered pee had gotten that far!
After drying him off, she pulled out the jar of suppositories again and
opened it where he could see it.
Chad rolled his eyes in
frustration. “Must you?” he asked. “Why now?”
Mel smiled wickedly. “It’s not midnight yet. You still belong to me.” She had him pull his legs up, and once again
she faked sticking one of the nasty little pills up inside of him. When she was done, she pulled the diaper over
him again and put the jar of suppositories away.
But before taping
the diaper securely onto him, she grabbed one of her keys. Piece by piece, she removed the chastity
device from his tiny male appendage. Her
hands got sprayed with pee as she did it, but that was only to be expected… and
in a way… hoped for.
One by one, Chad
felt the pieces of the chastity device being removed. This was the first time she had done it
without tying him up. And he realized,
this would be the first time she would be diapering him again – without putting
the device back on him. Piece by piece,
until he felt her pulling the main piece off of him, and he felt the cool air
touching that part of him that never got touched. He felt her grabbing him with her fingers and
manipulating his penis a bit, bending it up and back, and around. Her fingers felt strange there. But feeling anything touching him there now
would feel strange. He also felt more
wetness dripping off of him. Wetness
that she quickly wiped up, before she finally pulled the diaper more firmly
over him… and taped it in place.
Grabbing her
scissors, she cut slits all over the cover of that disposable diaper. Then she did the same with several more
before she put them on him – adding layer after layer of protection. Only the last diaper was left whole. Four layers of diapers. He would need all that to get through the
night without leaking – she hoped.
But once the
diapers were in place, she still had one more thing to do. She removed his bra, then started to
carefully remove the glued-on breast forms from his chest. As usual, it took a while, but eventually,
they were gone and she washed his chest where they had been as well.
She was
done. She looked at the clock. It was nearly midnight. “I guess that’s it Sissy,” she said. “We’ve reached the end.”
He nodded. “Except for the testing.”
It was her turn
to nod. And the total frustration and
emotion of it suddenly washed over her.
“Why can’t you just lose?” she asked before she realized she was going
to say it.
Chad was dumbfounded. “I…”
“If you would
just lose, then we could get on with everything!”
“But…”
Mel waved her
hand. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But…”
Mel shook her
head. “I’m sorry! Don’t answer that!” She looked at the clock again. “It’s over.
We’re done… with this part anyway.”
He nodded and
chanced answering. “Except for the
testing,” he repeated.
She nodded. “I guess we’ll soon see,” she replied.
He nodded. “Tomorrow.”
“Or the next
day,” Mel added a bit more hopefully.
“Or the next
day,” Chad
repeated.
She looked at
him. “Good night… Chad,” she said.
Chad swung his legs off of the bed
and got to his feet. His penis felt
strange inside of the thick layers of diapers he was wearing. It felt strange again without the breast
forms glued to his chest. He picked up
his clothes that were in a pile on the floor and walked toward the door to her
bedroom. He turned back to her. “Good night,” he said in his old male voice…
“Mel.”
The two stared at
each other for a few moments longer before he turned and walked off toward her
apartment door. He grabbed his purse and
his diaper bag and opened the door. For
the last time, wearing only layers of diapers and nothing else, he walked the
short distance to his apartment, where he fished his keys out of his purse and
went inside.
Mel sat on her
bed staring at the empty doorway he had walked thorough only moments
before. She had listened as he left her
apartment. Was he gone… forever? She didn’t even count the testing – because
he wasn’t going to be – Sissy – then.
Was he gone… forever?
She forced
herself to undress and throw a light nightgown over her body before throwing
all the protecting diapers off the bed into a pile on the floor. She got into bed and turned out the
light. But sleep was a long time
coming. She was too concerned with the
future. Was he gone… forever?
“I would kiss
you till your body shudders… and you know how I feel about you.”
Why can’t he just
lose?
Chad set his purse and diaper bag
down on the floor of his apartment and closed the door. He looked around. All the new boxes. All the things they held. All of his old male life. He was tempted to open one or two, but he
didn’t. He wasn’t really in the
mood. He headed to the kitchen instead
where he automatically opened up his refrigerator. His hand was reaching into it to grab one of
the baby bottles of her tea when he stopped himself. He no longer needed to drink any of the
bottles before he went to bed. It was
all over now. All over. And he felt nothing but a crushing case of
loss.
“Why can’t you
just lose?” The words seemed to echo in
his head. And what was it that Andrea
had suggested… that he purposely lose?
For a change, he
grabbed the top to one of his babydoll nightgowns and threw that on. He grabbed the pacifier he used every night
and stuck it in his mouth – he knew he’d never manage to sleep without it.
“Why can’t you
just lose?”
He turned out the
light and got down into his bed – his little bed with its little girl sheets on
top of nothing more than a blow-up mattress.
“Why can’t you
just lose?” And Andrea suggesting that
he should lose.
He stared at the
dark ceiling for a very long time. He
tried closing his eyes, but sleep was hard to grasp. He stared at the dark ceiling again.
“Why can’t you
just lose?”
It was over. The dream was over. And sleep was a long time coming.
1 comment:
Awww so sad :(
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