The Housekeeper - Chapter 30 Part 2 of 2

The Housekeeper

By Karen Singer

Chapter 30 Part 2 of 2

 It wasn’t ten seconds after the service was over before Bethany grabbed Roger’s wrist, and literally dragged him out of the row of seats.  “Come on honey.  We need to catch her before she gets out of here.”

Roger wasn’t at all used to someone holding his hand… or even being pulled along by his hand as was the case here, but he followed.  What was so important about meeting this transitioning… woman?  

“Carlita, darling!” Bethany called out as they got close.

Roger saw the woman turn… and he was struck by the feminine beauty of the woman he saw.  He was grateful that his cock gave him only a small twinge of cold warning.  “She” looked somewhat Hispanic he realized, which explained a bit about the name she had chosen.  Her long black hair reflected the lights.  Her face could only be described as feminine and beautiful.  Her smile lit up that face when she turned and saw Bethany.

“Hi Beth,” Carlita said as her eyes turned now toward Roger. 

The faint twinge of cold hit Roger’s cock again as he locked eyes with the “woman” in front of him. 

“Carlita, this is Candy,” Bethany introduced. 

“Hi Candy,” Carlita said kindly, with another flash of a smile.  “I saw you here before, but… I have to admit, you look a whole lot better this week than you did last week.  I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Uh… thanks,” Roger replied.

“Carlita,” Bethany said, “we all thought that Candy here should have a little talk with you.  And I mean… a serious talk.”

Roger noticed the sudden dark clouds that rushed over Carlita’s face.  And he saw her nod slightly… then look over at him… while trying to smile a little more brightly.

“Do you have a few minutes now?” she asked.

Roger looked around.  Most likely, Janice would be talking with her friends for a few minutes.  “Sure, why not?”

“I’ll just leave you two to get acquainted,” Bethany said quietly.

Carlita motioned toward the chairs next to them, the row of chairs she had just left.  Not the front row, but only three rows back from the front.  Roger moved in and took a seat several folding chairs over.  Carlita followed and sat next to him. 

“I take it you must be thinking about doing something… radical… to your gender?”

“Everything seems to be pointing in that direction,” Roger replied.  “I’d be grateful for any help you might be able to offer.”

Carlita nodded.  “I don’t know how much actual help I can be.  I think that Bethany back there just wanted you to hear a little of what I’ve been through... to give you something to think about.”

“Sounds good,” Roger replied.

Carlita shook her head.  “No, it’s not good.”  She looked straight at Roger, who now noticed dark clouds in her face.  “I have no family,” she said.  “And I have very few friends.  The day I came out to my family, three years ago, they disowned me and threw me out of the house… literally!  I barely had time to grab just a few things before my father grabbed me and dragged me to the front door, and literally threw me out.  Since then, every time I even try to phone any of them, they hang up on me.  I’m dead to them now.  I can’t tell you how much that hurts.”

Roger was stunned.  “What did you do?”

Carlita looked sadly down toward the floor.  “Most of my friends wouldn’t talk to me once I explained why it had happened.  But I finally got lucky with one friend who let me stay at his place for a while.  I slept on the couch, which wasn’t so bad.  What was bad though was when he raped me.”

Roger was shocked.  “Raped?”

Carlita nodded.  “Raped!  Right there on the couch where I was trying to sleep.  And afterwards, I ran out of there, still in my underwear, and I never went back.  I got lucky and got picked up by the police.  I wound up in a shelter two nights later.”

“My God!” Roger breathed.

“I never did get any of my stuff that I left in his apartment.  I was too afraid to go back.”  She took a moment to collect herself and take a deep breath before continuing.  “I tried very hard to commit suicide… twice, while I was in that shelter.  And twice I almost succeeded.”

“Why?”

“Because my family wouldn’t accept me.  Because none of my friends wanted me anywhere near them.  Because I couldn’t find a job to support myself.  And mostly, because I didn’t want to continue having to live my life as a boy.  I’ve always wanted to be girl instead… from my earliest memories.  And having to be a boy just finally got to be too much for me.  Everything got to be too much.  I was a total failure at everything… especially life.  I hated it.  Nobody loved me… or even liked me… and I wanted to put an end to the misery.  And so I grabbed a sharp knife from the kitchen at the shelter and tried to slit my wrists.  I only got one actual cut made though before someone walked in on me and called for help.  They made me start seeing the psychologist after that.”

Roger wanted to comment, but there were no words that would come to his mouth. 

“Eventually, the shelter helped me find a job – as a guy of course since I was a guy and had only just told everyone what I was intending to do someday.  But I guess everyone knew I was serious about it because of trying to kill myself over it… and… well, I did grab mostly whatever girl’s clothes I could scrounge to wear at the shelter instead if boy clothes, but back then I couldn’t pass as a girl to save my life.”

“But you look fantastic now,” Roger replied.  “Really… beautiful!”

Carlita smiled shyly.  “Thanks,” she whispered.  “But that’s only because I’ve been on hormones for the last two years.”

“Two years?”

She nodded.  “I can’t wait to have my operation so I can be as much of a woman as possible.  I just can’t afford it yet.”

“How much does it cost?”

Carlita smiled again.  “A lot!”

Roger had to accept that.  “So… what happened?”

“The shelter got me in touch with some shrinks, and some other doctors, and eventually I got put on testosterone blockers… then eventually hormones.  But not before I tried to kill myself yet again.  And that was only because I got raped again.”

“You what?”

She nodded.  “The job they got me was at McDonalds.  The evening shift.  We had just finished cleaning up and were getting ready to leave.  And it was just me and the guy who was the night manager at the time.  He knew of course that I wanted to become a girl.  Everyone there knew.  I guess I kind of made it more obvious than I should have by the way I dressed and acted.”  She laughed a little.  “I actually wore more girl’s clothes to work than boys’!  Well, sort of, I guess.  More often than not, I started wearing a bra under my uniform shirt and the black pants we all had to wear were usually girl’s pants or jeans… even though I had been hired as a guy!”

Her face clouded again.  “But anyway, that night, after we finished cleaning, he grabbed me and forced himself on him.  I tried to fight him off, but… well… he was a damn big guy.  I never had a chance.  So on the way home that night, I walked out onto the highway and literally threw myself in front of a car.”

Roger was so shocked he didn’t know what to think.  “But you survived,” he managed to say.

Carlita nodded.  “Yeah.  Unfortunately… or fortunately, I guess.  The driver saw me and swerved.  But the corner of the car still hit me and sent me flying.  Broke my hip and fractured my left leg.”  She tried to laugh a little, but it didn’t really sound much like a laugh.  “It still hurts sometimes.”

“So you got lucky,” Roger noted.

She nodded.  “Luckier than at any time in my life.  As I said, after that, the shrinks got a little more serious with me… and sent me to some doctors… and, well, here I am today.”

“And you look… beautiful,” Roger told her.

She smiled at the compliment.  “Well, it wasn’t always that way.  It took a while.”

“So things got better once you were on the hormones?”

“Actually, things got better before I started the hormones.  The shelter found me another job once I could walk again… working in the stock room at a small printing company.”  She briefly turned her head to look toward the back of the room.  “Bethany’s company.”

“Bethany?”

“Of course, I didn’t know ‘Bethany’ back then.”  She paused.  “Um… did Beth ever tell you her real name?”

“No, I only know… her… as Bethany.”

She nodded.  “Well, I met with… the owner of the company for an interview that lasted maybe two minutes, after which he said I was hired.  And that was even after I explained to him that I would probably be showing up to work wearing more girls’ clothes than boys’.  But he hired me anyway, right on the spot!  So I went to work every day… and he started riding me… constantly.”

“Riding you?”

She nodded.  “Carl, do it like this! Carl, think before you act!  Carl, take pride in what you do.  Carl… you can’t get anywhere in life if you don’t put some effort into it and try!”

“Was he… mean to you in any way?  Did he try to… force himself on you at any time?”

She shook her head.  “No.  And don’t think I didn’t worry about that a lot!  He just… took an interest in me.  I didn’t know why back then.  I do now of course.”  She looked straight at Roger for a moment before looking away and continuing.  “One of the things he hounded be about a lot, was to come to church with him on Sundays.”  She shook her head.  “Yeah right!  Can you imagine someone like me… going to church?  All I saw in front of me was total disaster!  But he kept hounding me and hounding me over it, and told me he wasn’t going to stop until I at least tried it.  So I finally went, and he brought me here.”  Once again, she looked straight up at Roger as she said, “This church is what really saved me.  This church gave me the first real friends I’d had in many years.  This church was the one and only place where everything seemed to make sense to me.  And I’ve been nothing but grateful ever since.”

“It does seem to be kind of an… unusual church,” Roger admitted.  “And to tell the truth, I’m kind of impressed with it I think.  Everybody here has been unusually nice… and understand… and completely supportive to me.  Nobody here has seemed to judge me badly… yet!”

She smiled.  “Most of them won’t,” she said.  “I don’t doubt that there are a few who would rather not see people like you, or Beth… or even me.  But most of the people who come here have their own problems that they’re trying to find solutions to, so they tend to be a little more open minded about everyone else.  That, and the preacher does her best to foster an accepting attitude in everyone.”

“It seems to be working,” Roger replied with a smile.  “So Beth gave you a job and brought you to church.  Do you still come with… her… every week?”

She shook her head.  “No, I come on my own now,” she said with a small smile.  Once I had saved a little bit of money, I found a place of my own to live.  That first place sure wasn’t much, and it was a lot more dangerous to live there than I liked.  But I needed out of that shelter.  I had been lucky that they let me live there as long as I had.”

“You did get lucky,” Roger agreed.

“Yeah, lucky… because not long after that, I got put on the blockers, then eventually on hormones.  And one day… the boss… came to me in the stock room and asked if I’d like to try one of the jobs upstairs in the office instead of working in the dirty stock room.  The job came with a small raise that I wasn’t about to turn down.  But it also came with another strange demand.  He said that if I was on hormones and wanted to transition, then I’d have to show up at work every day as a woman – completely.  It was the only way I could have the job.”  She smiled.  “You can imagine how fast I jumped on that!”

Roger smiled and nodded. 

“The job wasn’t much, just doing this and that.  Handling some paperwork.  Things like that.  But… the boss… kept riding me again, just as he had done down in the stock room.  “Carlita, you can do better than this.  Carlita, take some pride in your work.  Carlita, why don’t you attend night school and learn something about computers?”  She laughed.  “Yeah right!  Me, go to school and learn something!”  She looked up at him.  “But he kept hounding me.  And then he offered to pay for one of the courses… if I tried to learn something.  So I took him up on it.”  She smiled briefly again.  “I’ll have my associate’s degree in computers at the end of next semester.”

“Wow!  You’ve done really well for yourself!”

She nodded her head a little.  “But not without a lot of help.  His help to be exact.”

“Did you ever ask him why he pushed you so much… did so much for you?” 

She nodded.  “Yeah.  I did wonder about that a lot.  And mostly it was because I figured that eventually he’d want to… have his way with me too.  But one day I got the courage to actually ask him about it.  I asked him why he did things for me that he didn’t do for any of the others.  And like I said, I was really afraid that he still might want to have his way with me someday – despite the fact that he was still bringing me here to church every week.”

“What did he say?” Roger asked.

“Humph!  He said to meet him Saturday night at one of the bars not far from where we work.  You can imagine how I felt about that!  But every time I asked, he kept insisting that I had to go there if I wanted to know the answer.  So I finally decided to take a chance and go… and that was despite the fact that I was still pretty sure that he was going to make his moves on me once I got there!  You can’t imagine how scared I was when I walked into the place.  I looked all around and didn’t see him.  And then this… weird guy in a dress and wig came up and said hello to me and started talking to me.  And it was almost five minutes before I realized I was talking to my boss!”

Roger managed to chuckle.  “So Bethany came out to you.”

She nodded.  “Bethany… has been trying to help me, because he wanted to see me do what he would never be able to do.  So he’s been kind of my emotional support ever since then.”

Roger’s estimation of Bethany went way up just then.  “I’m surprised at that.  Bethany doesn’t seem the type.”

She nodded again.  “Yeah, well, he is.  Trust me!  The only thing is, that now he’s hounding me to start doing transgender outreach programs, to start helping others with the same problems I have.  But I’m the last person on earth those people need to listen to!”

Roger shook his head.  “Actually, I think you may be the very first person any of them should listen to.  Just like with everything else, I think that maybe you should reconsider not doing those programs and consider what Bethany has suggested for you.”

She shook her head.  “I just don’t see it.”

“Think about it,” Roger replied.  “Bethany hasn’t steered you wrong yet, has he?”

“No, not ever.”

“Then maybe you should think about that some more.”  He watched as she nodded thoughtfully.  “So,” he said, “now you’re trying to save a bunch of money for your big operation.”

She nodded.  “Yeah, I want it bad!”

“How much longer do you think till you get it?” he asked.

“Huh!  A lifetime!  By the time I pay rent, and now car expenses, and groceries, and everything else in my life right now, I’m totally out of money every month.  It’s all I can do to survive.  Sometimes I get pretty desperate waiting for my next paycheck.  There just isn’t anything left over for something like that.”

Roger almost laughed.  “Welcome to life, Carlita.  Welcome to life!”  He was glad to see the small smile that came to her face.  But now it was time for a more serious question.  “Carlita, why did Bethany… and the others… think it was so important that I talk with you?  I mean, your story is amazing.  Inspirational.  But right now, I need a more… physical kind of help.”

That look of trouble crossed Carlita’s face again.  Instead of answering, she looked toward the back of the church as she had before.  “Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed.  “Everybody’s gone!  We better get out of here!” 

Without warning, Roger suddenly found himself engulfed in a tight but brief hug.  “I gotta go!” she exclaimed as she released him.  “Good luck… Candy.”

“Uh… thanks,” Roger replied as she retreated out of the row of seats and hurried away toward the back of the church.  He now saw Bethany standing in the back of the church along with Janice, Carol, and the woman preacher.  Carlita gave both Bethany and the preacher a quick hug… and tossed off a quick greeting to Janice and Carol… and then hurried out the door.  And Roger was left wondering what he had said to make her run off that way.

“What did you think?” Bethany asked as Roger approached. 

“It was an amazing story.  But now I’m still wondering, why did you really want me to hear it?”

Bethany nodded, and suddenly Bethany’s voice was no longer the voice Roger was used to hearing.  Instead, what came out of that lipsticked mouth, was a deep, totally male voice.  “Candy, I don’t know your real name… and to tell the truth, I never want to know it.  As you can imagine, Bethany, only exists at certain times and in certain places.  Places and times that are all too few for what my soul would really like.  I wanted you to hear Carlita’s story, because you need to be aware that life will undoubtedly be very hard and difficult if you choose the path you were thinking about. 

“From what I’ve learned, some of the problems that Carlita has faced can seem like almost nothing compared to what others have had thrown at them.  But just like I often told Carlita, if you don’t work hard at something, or at least try hard, then you’ll never succeed. 
     “Carlita was at the bottom.  She tried to commit suicide, not once, but twice.  She didn’t find any happiness or success until she committed herself to trying new things… and to commit to the advice and caring of friends… not just myself, but also the many friends she now has in this church.  It’s because of those caring friends she now has, that she has found the only happiness she’s really ever known in her life.  And I’m still not sure how much she realizes that. 

“But what I’m trying to say, Candy, is that you need to learn to trust in your friends.  Trust the ones who will stand by you no matter what.  Only with people like that in your life will you ever find success… and real happiness.  Actually, no matter what sex you finally decide on.”

Before Roger could comment, Bethany’s voice changed again – back to the more outrageous voice he had come to associate with… her.  “Well, I’ve said more than enough I think.  Time for me to get out of here!”

Before Roger knew it, he was engulfed in a quick hug from Bethany, before she tossed a quick goodbye to Janice and Carol.  Then she hugged the preacher briefly before hurrying out. 

“I take it, it was an interesting conversation?” Janice asked as they walked out of the church.

“Not so much a conversation, as a story.  Carlita’s story.”

Janice nodded.  “I’ve heard bits and pieces of some of it.  I haven’t really seen her since before I went to prison, but I must say, she seems to be looking very, very good now.”

Roger nodded.  “Yeah, really good!  I don’t think I could even come close to looking that good.”

“She didn’t always look like that, Candy.  I have no doubt that it took a lot of effort and commitment.  The same effort and commitment I expect from you – every day.”

Roger shook his head as he opened the car door.  “I’m trying.  I really am!”

“I’m aware of that, Candy.  And I appreciate it.  But as I’ve said before, your continued existence in humanity depends on you constantly striving toward that goal.  And any backsliding or even non-effort on your part will quickly result in you losing… human privileges.”

Roger said nothing to that.  It was one of the biggest nightmares in his waking life!

“Now, Candy, if I may make a suggestion,” Janice said as she pulled the car out of the parking lot and onto the road, “you’ve worn that dress to church two times in a row now.  I expect you to wear something different next week!  And please don’t forget, the sooner I don’t have to see a man sitting across from me at the table, the sooner you may eat there.  So you may want to think about investing in other things besides just something to wear to church.  Just something to think about, Candy.  Just something to think about.”

“Momma, you mentioned something else earlier.  Did you still want to do that too?” Carol asked.

“Oh yes.  Thank you dear.  Candy, when you go shopping for some new clothes this week, if you’d like to get yourself a short nightgown to wear at night, I will allow you to wear that.  I think the effort you’ve put into yourself this week has earned it.  But the minute I stop seeing that effort, you’ll be naked and back in the cage again immediately.  Do you understand, Candy?”

Roger’s reply of, “Yes,” was not exactly whole-hearted.

“Excellent, Candy!” Janice exclaimed.  “Now, let’s see how crowded that restaurant is!”

The restaurant again!  Ugh!