Too Old to be Young - Chapter 19 – Part 2 of 3

 

Too Old to be Young

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 19 – Part 2 of 3

 

Ugh!  Why did he bother trying to listen to those hypnotic recordings?  It wasn’t like they were doing any good.  He distinctly remembered waking up three times last night to pee…a little.  He always peed just a little now.  After a few weeks of not holding back at all, staying that loose all the time felt completely normal, which meant he peed more often, which meant he peed less each time than he used to.  He stared up at the ceiling above his bed.  It was Friday.  Purse day.  Ugh!  He tossed his legs out from under the cover and sat on the side of the bed.  As he got to his feet, he noticed his diaper was a bit more soaked than he would have expected from what little he thought he had peed last night.  But after not holding back for so long now, he realized that he didn’t always know how much he was peeing anymore.

He felt the need to pee as he waddled out to his kitchen to make himself some coffee.  As always, he didn’t hold back at all.  Not holding back was so easy now.  It was natural.  It was normal.  So was peeing into his diaper.  That was feeling normal too.  Just as an experiment, he clenched all those muscles just once as if he was holding back.  Damn!  It didn’t feel normal at all.  Not to mention, it wasn’t easy anymore.  How did it ever feel so normal to keep them so tight before?  He immediately relaxed everything, and it felt much easier and normal again.  The thought of it pleased him.  It would please him a whole lot more if he could go back to the bedroom and hump his bed for a while.  But those damn demented women had spoiled all his fun for the entire week…or more.  It was so frustrating!  All this was supposed to be for his fun!  Instead, all he got was locked up so he couldn’t get that fun…while they were overly humiliating him.  He could just scream!

His bright red nails flashed across his vision as he set his coffee maker working.  They flashed across his vision as he sat in his office in front of his computer.  They continued to flash across his vision as opened his web browser and searched the net while his coffee continued to brew.  But in the back of his mind, he continued to remember that those bright red fingernails weren’t the only things he was going to have to put up with anymore.  Later today…this morning, Jackie the Jackal was going to make him start carrying a women’s purse – everywhere!  All the time.  Even out to his mailbox at the end of the driveway.  According to her, every time he went out his door, he needed to be carrying a purse.  Yeah, screaming was what he wanted to do, even though he didn’t, especially since he really wanted to hump his bed to relieve the constant ache in his groin…that for the next week, or more, he couldn’t do anything about.

When his coffee was ready, he poured some into one of his small bottles with the koozie around it to keep it warm and his hands cool.  Then he carried it back to his desk where surprisingly, he managed to get back into his long story again.  The story really was an odd one for him, but it did contain lots of the things he liked best.

He was deep into his writing when he heard this front door open.  “Morning Jim,” Jackie’s voice called.

“Morning,” Jim called back as he got up from his computer.  Get unlocked from the onesie, but not the damn chastity device, get into the shower, get into a diaper, get back into a onesie, and get locked up again.  His everyday life.  He hated it so much!  But he loved it even more.

“Come over to my place when you’re finished getting dressed,” Jackie told him.  “You do remember what we’re doing today, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied nervously.  “It’s make me look like an even bigger fool day.”

“You pretty much hit the nail on the head.  And speaking of nails, are you still enjoying yours?”

“How can I enjoy anything if I can’t get any fun?”

Jackie chuckled.  “Aw!  Poor baby.  But don’t try to kid me, I know that being in that chastity device is giving you lots of fun.  Just a different kind.”

“Don’t remind me,” he mumbled.

Jackie laughed and turned toward the door.  “See you in a few minutes.

Jim said nothing, he just watched her go.  Now, what should he wear that would make him look less like a fool?  What could he wear that would make him look less like a fool?  Nothing!

 

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“Don’t keep your hands in your pockets all the time,” Jackie said as they walked from her car toward the department store.

“Wouldn’t you?”

“No!  I think your nails look gorgeous.  I just think you should have worn your red heels to go with them better.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No!  Jim, since you can only wear women’s shoes everywhere you go, you might as well enjoy it, right?”

“Enjoy it?”

“Wasn’t that why you wished for it to begin with?”

He said nothing.  She knew him too well.  He wished Jackie would walk a little faster, but Jackie never walked fast.  Even at home.  He had the impression that she hurt…all over.  But that didn’t seem to stop her from doing anything.  She just did it all a bit slower.  It wasn’t that he was in a hurry to buy himself a purse, that was the last thing he wanted.  He just wanted to get out of there and go back home again…purse and all.

Inside the store, Jackie seemed to wander around, looking at this, looking at that.  He still just wanted to go home, but he followed her around and listened as she mentioned things about some of the clothes she looked at.  It seemed like an hour before they got to the purse section.  The problem with having to actively look at something, was that it was impossible to keep his hands in his pockets.  He had to bring them out in the open to touch and look through each of the purses.  The one type of purse he would be most interested in, he didn’t see.  One that would be invisible as he carried it.  He knew from experience with his wife that some purses were expensive, some weren’t.  He wasn’t interested in an expensive one.

“What do you think of this?” Jackie asked as she held one of the purses up.

“That one?”

“Of course, this one.  I’m only holding one.”

“Yes, it’s okay,” he replied.

“Do you see any you like better?” she asked.  “Anything that catches your eye?”

“Not really, and I don’t want it to catch my eye.”

“Why not?”

“Because then it might catch someone else’s eyes, who might notice it more then.”

“Jim!  Pick a nice one!  A practical one wouldn’t hurt either.  Or like I told you on Tuesday, get a few so you can try them to see which you like better.”

“I’ll stick with just one,” Jim told her.

“That’s fine,” Jackie replied.  “Just…look!”

“I am!”

In the end, Jim wound up buying the same purse she had held up for him to see.  It had dark grey with gold patterned ends, but the middle of the broad sides and the straps were red.  There would be no hiding the thing, that was for sure.  As he paid for the thing, he prayed that the cashier wouldn’t mention his fingernails.  He saw her smile at them, but she didn’t say anything.  Whew!  He was even happier when she stuck the purse in a bag and told him to have a nice day.  Nice day?  Not anymore.  There would be no more nice days anymore for him.

They had just gotten outside when Jackie told him.  “Take that thing out of the bag and carry it.”

“Now?”

“Yes.  Now!”

Ugh!  He pulled the thing from the bag and carried it all the way to the car, feeling like such a fool.  He was such a fool!  Why didn’t he buy one in a camouflage pattern?  Oh yeah, he didn’t see any like that.  And why did he have to get one with so much red in it?  He was guessing because Jackie seemed to like the way it looked the best.  Why had he gone along with her suggestion?  It was his purse.  That thought alone, that it was his purse, made him have to pee again.  Fortunately, as always, only a little came out.

“Your red heels would have been so much better today,” Jackie told him as they headed for the car.  “They would have gone nicely with that purse.  Oh well, Sunday we’ll see.”

Ugh!  Sunday.  Out to eat with the girls.  All the girls.  He didn’t want to think how that was going to go.

They barely got into her car when she told him, “Empty your pockets into your purse.  That’s what you’ve got it for now.  In fact, maybe we should go back inside and see if we can find you a few pairs of pants…without pockets, just to get the point across.”

Heaven forbid!  Jim quickly removed his keys, his wallet, his phone, and from his back pocket he pulled a comb and a handkerchief.

“How nice,” Jackie said as she saw his handkerchief.  “We need to get you something better than that though.  Maybe we’ll stop at the drug store on the way home so you can pick up a pack of tissues to keep in there instead.”

“Uh…no thanks.  I’m good.”

“No, really,” Jackie said as she pulled the car out of the parking space.  “I insist.”

She was insisting.  He had a feeling again that he wasn’t getting much say in the matter.  A few minutes later, when she pulled into the parking lot of the same drug store Beverly had taken him into he knew he was right.  What were they there for again?  Oh yeah, tissues.  How bad could buying some small packs of tissues be?  A minute later though, as he was getting out of his car with his new purse, he realized it wasn’t buying the tissues that would be bad, it was walking around the store wearing women’s black pumps on his feet, red fingernails that couldn’t be missed, and carrying a woman’s purse with him that he obviously wasn’t carrying for Jackie.  Embarrassing!  He felt himself wetting his diaper a tiny bit again just before they walked through the door.

Once again he realized that Jackie was moving slow…slower than usual as she wandered up and down the aisles.  Why couldn’t they just get the tissues and go home?  Why did she have to shop for so much stuff now?  He stood and watched as she looked at all kinds of skin care stuff, vitamins, perfume, literally every aisle in the store.  As they wandered slowly past the tissues, he grabbed a package of small travel size ones.  Unfortunately, even though he had what he needed and was ready to go, Jackie wasn’t.  She continued to drag him slowly around the entire store. 

It felt like forever before he had a chance to pay for them…having no choice but to unzip the top of his purse and pull his wallet from it with his red fingernails showing everywhere while he did it.  The guy behind the counter raised his eyebrows and stared hard at his nails, but fortunately he didn’t say anything.

He was so glad to get out of there!  Ready to go home.  Except they didn’t go home.  In the back of his mind, he was expecting her to drag him into a place he really didn’t want to go today – the supermarket.  But instead, without asking, she pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant for lunch.  Jim wanted to scream.  Instead, he reluctantly got out of her car with his purse in his hand…and his red nails on his fingers, and his women’s shoes on his feet…and his wet diaper under his clothes.  Even at home he felt like such a fool all the time, but out in public it was so much worse, and Jackie was just out to torment him today.  This time, as he went into the restaurant, he noticed the stares of the people around him as they looked him over from head to foot.  Was his face as red as his fingernails?  He was sure it had to be.

Sitting down at the table, Jim set his new purse on the floor between his feet where it couldn’t be seen, and he kept his hands in his lap, hiding his red nails.  He didn’t bother opening the menu, he didn’t want his nails that much on display.  He waited while Jackie decided what she was going to eat.  When she set her menu down, he said, “You’re just out to torment me today.”

“Of course,” she said.  “I’ve got to have my fun too.”

Her fun!  “While I can’t get any fun at all this week.”

“You yourself told me that being in that tiny chastity device was fun for you too.”

“Not in the same way.”

“But it’s still fun,” she pointed out.” 

He said nothing as the waitress came by and took their order.  When she left, Jackie said, “It’s a shame you didn’t follow up on that no control mantra thing you were using for a while.  That might have made things a bit more interesting for you.”

Should he tell her?  It had been like his own little secret for the last few weeks.  But…  “Actually, I’ve been doing something else instead,” he told her.

“Oh?  What?” she asked, completely interested.

“Instead of using the mantra, I’ve just been doing everything possible to stay relaxed and not hold back.”

“You mean, like with the mantra, only without the words.”

“Yes.  Exactly.  It’s the concept that matters.”

“And how’s it going for you?”

“Pretty good actually.  In the last few weeks, it’s become normal for me to not hold back anymore.  In fact, when I tried holding back for a minute yesterday, it felt awkward and weird.  Difficult.”

“Really?”

“Yes.  Who would have ever believed?”

“So for the last few weeks you’ve been wetting yourself…”

“A lot.  Just not much at a time.  Since I pee more often, then there’s less to come out.”

“I guess that makes a lot of sense,” she replied.

“The only thing is that at night, I still keep waking up to pee.”

“Maybe your mantra before bed would help.”

“No.  I’m trying hypnotic tapes instead, but trust me, so far, they’re not doing anything.”

“Would your mantra work better?”

“No.  Especially not while I’m sleeping.”

“So are you going to try anything else?”

“No, just what I’ve been doing.  I already know it’s simply going to take time.  A lot more time than I’ve given it so far.”

“She smiled.  “Well, you’ve got plenty of time.  And I have no doubt that wetting yourself without holding back during the day will help as well.”

“I’m sure of it,” he replied.  “It’s been interesting though learning to not hold back and feeling the small changes in the signs of knowing when I’m going to pee.”

“Changes?”

“Yeah.  Since I’m not holding back at all anymore, I feel just a bit of notice, and then I pee.  It’s just that I think that bit of notice is less now than it was a week ago…or maybe I’m just more used to it happening now.  It’s hard to tell.  But either way, the process itself has gotten pretty easy for me.”

“Easier than holding back like you used to,” she stated.  “Since you said it was difficult for you to do when you tried it yesterday.”

“Yeah.  I guess so.” 

This wasn’t exactly the kind of conversation he’d normally have out in public, but they were talking softly and there was a lot of noise around them.  He was sure nobody else could hear them.  He was glad though when Jackie moved the conversation on to other more normal topics.

When their food came, Jim wasn’t happy about having to bring his red fingernails out in the open where everyone could see them, but it was impossible to eat any other way.  He did his best to ignore the looks he might be getting from anyone else as he ate.  And then paying for it was another lesson in humiliation as he once again had to unzip his purse, pull out his wallet pay for everything with his fingernails on display, and then reverse the procedure by putting his wallet away in his purse and zip it closed again.  Pockets were a lot easier!

Now could they please go home?  But once again he realized the answer was no.  And there it was.  The one place he really didn’t want to walk into today with his red fingernails and his new red purse.  The supermarket.  But he had known from the start that it would be inevitable.  It felt so weird having to grab the handles of his purse as he got out of the car.  It felt so weird having to carry the damn thing into the store.  It felt like a relief when he could drop the thing into the child seat of the shopping cart where he planned on putting groceries on top of it so it wouldn’t be seen.  Now how could he hide his red fingernails?

As always, Jackie shopped like she walked slowly.  He himself literally had no choice but to wander the aisles slowly shopping behind her.  She was the one who had driven.  He didn’t want to stand around waiting for her.  So he shopped slowly too, picking up everything he needed.  Some of the first items did indeed get put on top of his purse to hide the damn thing.  Finally they were done.  Finally, his too red fingernails flashed again and again as he pulled things from his shopping cart to put them on the checkout conveyor.  Finally he had to set his damn purse down and unzip the top to get at his wallet.  Fortunately, processing his credit card didn’t require him to hand the cashier anything at all.  And finally he was able to stick his wallet back into his purse and zip the thing back up.

With a grocery cart loaded with food, he stood past the checkout counters and waited while Jackie paid for her groceries.  His purse was in the child seat of the cart.  His hands were in his pockets.  He had already seen enough people staring at him today, all of them alerted to his condition by his too bright red nails.  He seriously doubted any of them had noticed his shoes…until they saw his red nails first.  Then he was sure they had looked him over too carefully.

He was so glad when Jackie finally drove him home, where she parked in her driveway.  Jim crossed his lawn while she went inside to put a few bags away, then she followed over to his house where she changed his wet diaper.  Naturally, Jim wished she’d do more than unlock just his onesie.  In fact, as far as he was concerned, she could leave the onesie locked for a while longer, if she would just unlock his chastity device.  It didn’t happen though.

A short while later, he was freshly diapered and locked.  Jackie turned to him before she left his house.  “Don’t forget, Beverly spends most of her time in her living room where she sees everything that goes on through her front window, so whenever you go out your door, don’t forget your purse now.  You wouldn’t want to spend an entire week in that spikey chastity device would you?”

Jim’s eyes bulged at just the thought of it.  “No,” he mumbled, as he tried to imagine a week in that damn thing.  With a small laugh, Jackie was gone. 

Jim stared at his new purse.  He already wasn’t looking forward to the next time he went out his door.  With a sigh, he opened the package of travel size tissue packs and dropped one inside his purse.  He zipped it closed again, then turned his back to it and headed for his office.  He wanted to do everything possible to not think about it anymore.

Later that afternoon though, he stared at it again for a few moments, before bowing to the inevitable and grabbing it.  He carried it down to the end of his driveway where it quickly became a major nuisance as he took his mail from the mailbox.  He was tempted to glance across the street to Beverly’s house, but he didn’t.  He knew though that there was a good chance she was in her living room and that she could see him.  Keeping his back to her the entire time, he carried his mail, and his purse, back into the house.  A purse.  What a nuisance!

 

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