Gramps - Chapter 22

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 22

 

Thanksgiving Day is supposed to be a time for us to gather together, reflect on our lives, and give thanks for all that we have.  I woke up Thanksgiving Day in a strange bed, in a strange room, in a strange house, and in an even stranger situation.  For the life of me, I couldn’t think of one single thing to give thanks for.  All I could think about was the absolute horror of my situation over the life Kimmie had sunk me into.

Had I agreed to this life?  Yes…No!  The real truth as I saw it was that I hadn’t really agreed to it at all.  It had all really started when Kimmie had put locks on all the bathroom doors, leaving me with no choice about wearing the diapers, and then things had simply gone downhill from there.  Way downhill!

Now look where I was, not in my own home in Tennessee, but up here in Maryland where the entire rest of my family lived.  A family that I would soon be seeing.  But more importantly, a family that would soon be seeing me.  I didn’t want that.  I didn’t want that at all.

All I could imagine about it was the condemnation I would receive for what Kimmie had done to my life.  Or maybe it’s what I had allowed Kimmie to do to my life.  Either way, I knew it was going to be bad.  Very bad.  And that’s despite how weirdly nice my daughter Ashley had been about it yesterday.

But this was Thanksgiving.  This was the day when the entire family would gather.  This wasn’t going to be just one person.  This was going to be everyone…young and old…and me.

I laid in that guest bed staring at the ceiling.  It was only then that I realized I was sucking on my baby pacifier.  I could have sworn I left it out of my mouth after I finished my bottle last night.  I turned my head and glanced at the night table next to me.  No bottle.  Someone, probably Kimmie, had taken my bottle and shoved my pacifier in my mouth instead.  Darn woman!  But what could I do about it?  Nothing.  So I laid there on my back and stared at the ceiling, worrying to death about the day ahead.

The need to pee hit me, but it didn’t hit me long since I automatically let it out immediately.  See Kimmie, I do know when I need to go. 

No.  I couldn’t think of one single thing to be thankful for on that Thanksgiving Day.

Since there was no clock in the room, I didn’t know what time it was.  I always woke up around seven every morning, so I figured it had to be about then.  I was guessing though that neither Kimmie nor her mother had any reason to get up early, so they were both probably sleeping in.  Not wanting to leave the relatively safe confines of the room, I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, worrying about what was to come.

It seemed like forever before the door opened and Kimmie poked her head in.  “Morning Gramps,” she told me.

I simply turned my head to look at her.  With the pacifier in my mouth, I couldn’t say anything anyway.

“Did you sleep okay?” she asked as she came into the room.

I didn’t answer.  The pacifier, remember?  I noted that she was wearing nothing but a robe over top of some pajamas.

“Let’s get you up baby,” she said as she pulled the covers off my body.

I expected to head toward the bathroom where I could shower before she changed me, but instead she grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen.  “Sit down for a bit,” she told me as she pushed me toward the table.  For a moment there, I thought she would make me sit on the floor.  I sat in one of the chairs and unconsciously sucked my pacifier while I watched her making a pot of coffee.  Before she was finished, her mother came into the room.

“Hi darling,” Ashley said to her.  I noticed she was wearing nothing but a robe over whatever she had on under it.  “Hi Dad,” she said to me.  Not having my mouth free so I could speak, I simply nodded.

I watched as the two of them went about making breakfast, talking a bit between themselves, but never once talking to me.  Eventually, Kimmie set two fresh cups of coffee on the table for them while Ashley set plates of toast and jars of jam in front of them.  Then Kimmie delivered a baby bottle to me, and Ashley set a bowl of something in front of me along with a spoon.  Kimmie tied a dishtowel around my neck again, then sat down to eat her own breakfast.  The two of them began eating as they continued their conversation, still mostly ignoring me.

I looked into my bowl and didn’t recognize what was in it.  I guessed it had to be more baby food.  Since Kimmie wanted everyone to consider me to be a baby, was this the only kind of food I’d get to eat on this trip?  It was looking like it.  I pulled the plug from my mouth, picked up my spoon, and resigned myself to a trip of culinary misery.  I shoved a spoonful of that baby mush into my mouth.  Eatable, but barely.  I didn’t want to starve to death, so I kept eating, taking frequent drinks from my baby bottle that turned out to contain regular milk.  So far, the best thing that had happened to me that day.  What a sad realization.

After breakfast, I got put on the floor of the living room.  My entire plethora of toys was soon surrounding me, and Kimmie and her mother both left me there alone while they got dressed.  I wondered how good an idea it was to leave a baby alone like that?  Didn’t they know any better?

My mind tried to come up with some kind of mischief I could get into to get back at them, but no ideas actually registered.  I sat and stared around the living room instead.  I didn’t get up to go look, but some of the family pictures Ashley had on the wall caught my interest, so did the closed curtains at the window.  I was tempted to go over there and open the curtains to look out, but what if a neighbor was passing and saw me.  Better not!  So I sat and stared at…baby toys instead.

I had found out last night during dinner that the family wasn’t coming here for Thanksgiving dinner, instead everyone was going to my son Mike’s house.  He had two young kids, and since their toys and things were there it would be easier for everyone.  Not me.  I didn’t want to go anywhere, and I didn’t want any of them coming here either.  I just wanted to go home!  To Tennessee, where I now belonged.

It was a while before Kimmie came out and got me.  She was dressed casually.  Dinner at Mike’s house wasn’t scheduled until about one or one-thirty, so we had time to kill.  Kimmie dragged me back to the bathroom where she undressed me and stuck me into the bathtub.  As always when she gave me a bath, she washed me.  Usually, she would shave me during those baths too, but she didn’t.  No shaving took place until after I got out of the tub and she had put a fresh diaper on me.  Only then was I allowed to shave my face and brush my teeth.

When I was finished, Kimmie stuck a pink bra on my chest and pulled one of her sweatshirts over it.  Just like that, with my diaper fully exposed, I got taken back to the living room to “play.”  Ugh!  This time, I knew I couldn’t get away with just sitting and looking at the things on the walls.  In fact, Kimmie stood there and waited until I reached out and spun one of the colorful shapes on that mega toy before she walked off.  Knowing she would be not only watching, but more importantly, listening, I had no choice but to keep playing with things.  Noisy things.  Noisy things I really had no interest in touching.  But touching them and playing with them was my only choice.

It’s unbelievable how long that morning seemed.  I think those few hours actually lasted about three entire days.  Kimmie and her mother either looked in on me occasionally or walked through on their way to somewhere else.  Ashley brought me a baby bottle of juice to drink once, and Kimmie came through when it was done to collect the bottle…and stick my pacifier back in my mouth.  Mostly though, the two of them spent time together in the kitchen.  Was that so I couldn’t hear what they were talking about?  Maybe I didn’t want to hear.  In fact, I didn’t.  Of course, I didn’t want to play with those toys either.

By the time Kimmie came and helped me up from the floor so she could start getting me ready to go, my diaper was not just fairly wet, but smelly.  I’m sure you can guess why.  Let me tell you, sitting there on the floor, surrounded by baby toys, and actually making an effort to continually interact with those toys…while you’re messing your diaper, can really do a number on your head.  Yeah, it was at that point where I truly felt like not just a young toddler, but an actual baby.  And trust me, I felt like I deserved to be a baby.  But what could I do about it?  Nothing as far as I could see.  So  I sat there in that dirty smelly diaper and…played.

Kimmie led me to the room I was staying in and laid me out on the plastic tablecloth she had covered the bed with.  The sweatshirt I was wearing was removed first, then my smelly diaper.  She cleaned me thoroughly, then put a fresh diaper on me.  I was so glad I didn’t have to sit in that mess until two o’clock.

Okay, here we go.  By that point, Kimmie had started with me wearing a diaper and a pinkish color bra.  A pink pair of plastic pants were pulled over my diaper.  A pair of white tights were pulled up my legs.  And then I got a bit of a surprise.  Kimmie didn’t put those black little girl Mary Jane shoes on me.  Instead, out of nowhere, she was sticking a pair of shiny red Mary Jane shoes that had some kind of fancy decoration covering the buckle.  The shoes I had ordered some time ago but had never seen.  I thought that order had gotten canceled or something.

I started to pull the pacifier from my mouth to ask about them, but Kimmie stopped me.  “Don’t complain Gramps!” she said sternly.  “I’m dressing you like I think you should be.”

Complaining hadn’t been my intention at all, but I shut up and just stared at those bright red shoes as she buckled them tightly.  I had another pair of little girl shoes, and Kimmie had been keeping them from me.  It was a moment before I realized I was peeing.

Kimmie stood me up and went to the closet in the room.  She came back with a dress.  A dress I had never seen before.  A dress with a rather full-looking skirt.  A dress that appeared to be all pink and white with plenty of fills and lace.  With the back unzipped, she had me step into it, then she pulled it up my body and stuck my arms through what little sleeves it had.  She turned me around and I felt the dress grab by body tightly as she pulled the zipper all the way up.  She adjusted the collar and stepped back.  She smiled.  “Very pretty,” she declared.

And then she attacked my hair.  A short while later, I had pigtails with two ribbons tied into it again.

While Kimmie started cleaning up the room a bit, I walked over to look in the mirror that was above the dresser in the room.  I could just see a bit of the ribbons in my hair.  I had no doubt that each of them had been tied with perfect bows.  The dress was absolutely…girlish!  Little girl girlish.  In fact, the more I looked at it, the more it seemed to be…uh…babyish.  I looked down toward my red shoes, but what I was really trying to see was how far down the skirt of the dress came.  It was hard to tell, but I realized my hands could easily grab the bottom of it.  Which meant it either didn’t cover my diaper completely, or it just barely covered it.  Yeah, babyish was more like it.

Kimmie took me back to the living room and helped me sit down with my toys again.  “Don’t mess up your outfit!” she admonished.

Mess it up?  How?

With a sigh, and thinking about nothing but what a disaster this was soon going to be, I started rearranging the furniture in my plastic dollhouse.

It was a while before Kimmie and her mother both came into the living room.  They were fully dressed.  Casual, but nice.  This was just family after all.  I was guessing that I was the only one who was all dressed up.  Kimmie had a large bag in her hand.  I wondered if it contained stuff for me…like she was using it as a diaper bag.  They each put on a coat since it was cold outside.  I didn’t get one.  Kimmie grabbed my doll and my bear from the floor and stuck them in her bag.  Then she took my hand and helped pull me to my feet.  From there, it was straight to the door.

I didn’t want to go.  I didn’t want any part of this.  But I was letting Kimmie lead me to…doom.  Doom and gloom.  Disaster.  I could feel that in my soul.

Yeah, it was cold out.  I got put into the backseat along with Kimmie’s diaper bag.  As usual now, she herself buckled my seatbelt.  Then she threw a fleece blanket over me to help keep me warm.  I was grateful.  Why couldn't she have thrown it around me before we walked out of the house?

Ashley got into the passenger seat.  Kimmie got behind the wheel, and we were off.  What was going to happen?  Why had I agreed to do this?  Actually, I don’t think I did agree.  Kimmie was just forcing this on me.  And now look where I was.

When we arrived, I noticed a number of cars in the driveway and some parked in front of the house.  Kimmie had to park in the street out front.  Just parking there caused my stomach to give a major lurch.  It lurched even more when Ashley opened my car door.  But when Kimmie unfastened my seatbelt and pulled me out of the car, I had to fight to not throw up.  I was beginning to panic.  Thankfully, Kimmie kept that fleece blanket wrapped around me as she took one of my hands and her mother took the other, and the two of them walked me straight towards the front door.  Doom.  Doom.  Doom.

The door was opened before we got there, and my youngest daughter Jennifer (Jenny) came out into the cold.  I could see a few of the other women in the family waiting just inside.

“Hi Mom.  Hi Kimmie,” Jenny called as she walked up.  “Happy Thanksgiving,” she greeted us.  Then she hugged each of them.  Finally, she turned to me.  “Hi Dad,” she said as she looked me over.  Was she trying to keep from laughing?  That’s the impression I got.  “Let’s get in out of the cold,” Jenny suggested.

Like it or not, we followed her into the house where it seemed like the entire world was waiting…to see me.  I heard a number of women greet Ash and Kimmie, but I knew they weren’t the main attraction of this circus.  And then Kimmie grabbed the blanket she had wrapped around me to keep me warm and pulled it away.  I heard lots of strange sounds from all those women.  Oos, ahs and more than a few ohs.  I heard laughing too.  Outright laughing.

As I looked around, it was all the women in the family who were making those sounds and who appeared to be so interested in me.  Further back in the room I saw the men looking on.  None of them appeared happy in the least.  Believe me, I wasn’t happy either.  My oldest child, Mike, looked outright disgusted.  The others appeared to be…perhaps puzzled?  It was difficult to tell.

“Hi Gramps,” Mike’s wife Marie greeted me.

“You look darling,” Jenny told me.

Yeah sure.  I unconsciously sucked that pacifier for all it was worth.  Inwardly, I was scared out of my wits.

“I’m trying to figure out,” Allison, one of Jenny’s daughters said as she studied me.  “Is he cute?  Or just…different?”

“Maybe a bit of both,” Madison, her sister decided.

“I think he looks simply darling,” Jenny told them.

“Well, he is!” Marie agreed.  “Come on ladies.  We’ve got dinner to get on the table.”

As I looked around again, I saw that most of the men were missing.  The few that I could still see got up from their seats and walked out, heading deeper into the house.  Probably out to Mike’s heated back porch.  No doubt, they all left to get away from me.

Turning my head to look around further, I noticed something I had seen in previous visits when Mike’s son Ben had been their only child.  There was some colorful plastic fencing put up in one corner and Ben and Mike’s daughter Emily were inside that fence.  There were also so many toys in there that I wondered if there was a toy they didn’t own.  Three-year-old Ben was standing just inside that fence, sucking on his pacifier and staring at me.  One-year-old Emily was just sitting on the floor playing with…something.  I couldn’t see what.  My son Mike may have been my oldest child, but he and his wife Marie had waited to have kids, so their two were quite young.

“Come on Gramps,” Kimmie said as she took me by the hand.  She led me directly to the fence.  “Get in with the other kids and play.”  She held my hand, and against my better judgement, I carefully stepped over the fence and got inside.  Kimmie pushed my doll and bear into my hands.  As I stood there, I was aware of how I towered over Ben, one of the two other pacifier sucking residents of that little corner of delight.

“You know where you belong,” Kimmie told me.

With great trepidation, and my eyes carefully watching Ben, who was doing nothing but staring at me, I knelt down to the floor.

Little Ben didn’t appear to be disgusted or even angry with me.  He just stood there as if he was waiting for something.  It took me a moment to figure it out.  He was used to grown people playing with him, or more likely holding him…doing something with him.  He was waiting to see what I was there for.  He was too young to realize that I was dressed like a total fool.  He was still young enough that running around naked was probably nothing new.  Clothes weren’t his main interest in life yet.

As for Emily, she turned her head and stared at me.  Watching me for a bit, then she turned back to what she had been interested in before.  Some kind of plastic superhero figurine, probably Ben’s.

With my full skirt feeling strange as it pooled around me, I sat down to take the strain off my knees.  At just barely one-year-old, little Emily didn’t walk, she didn’t crawl either.  Instead, she scooted herself over to me where she put that figurine in my lap.  I started to say, “Oh, thank you,” but the pacifier in my mouth immediately cut that short.  I warred with the decision as to if I should leave it in or take it out, and finally decided that silence was golden.  Especially in that situation.  Emily picked the figurine up, turned it around to look at it some more, then put it back in my lap.  She grabbed my singing doll instead, then scooted a few feet further away to have a better look at it..  She accidentally grabbed it by the hand, activating one of the buttons, and it talked to her.  Emily was immediately captivated.

Ben was still staring at me.  I knew I was a strange sight, but something told me that he didn’t realize that.  I searched around me, reached out and grabbed a plastic car.  I set it on the floor and gave it a shove, making it roll away from me.  Ben watched it, then the moment it stopped, went after it.  In moments he was playing with it and ignoring me.  Much better.

I looked around.  The men were all gone of course.  I was glad, but I worried about later when we would have to face each other again much more directly.  I saw one or two women at a time as they either poked their heads into the living room or walked through for one reason or another, mostly to check on us kids.  The rest of the women I could hear working on getting dinner ready.

I wasn’t in that overgrown playpen too long before Marie and Kimmie were back.  Marie picked Ben up over the fence and put him down.  She climbed inside herself and picked Emily up, then carried her out.

“Gramps,” Kimmie said as she held out her hand.  I grabbed it and let her help me to my feet.  “Leave your bear,” she suggested.  I gladly dropped it back in with the other toys.

Marie carried Emily on her hip while she led Ben by the hand.  Kimmie grabbed my hand and led me into the dining room.  The others were just starting to filter in to sit around the huge crowded table.  Kimmie put me in one of the chairs and tied one of the other kids’ bibs around my neck.  I saw all the other grownups watching her carefully.  Mike looked even more disgusted than he did before.  The other men?  I couldn’t tell what they were thinking.  My best guess was that they were still puzzled.  They didn’t exactly look happy, I can tell you that.

Little by little, we all sat.  Soon we were pretty much elbow to elbow.  Kimmie sat next to me.  Ash was on my other side.

“Kimmie,” Allison said.  “I noticed that you keep calling Gramps…a him.  Since you’re trying to make him a little girl, shouldn’t you be referring to him as…her instead?”

“I guess…” Kimmie replied as she seemed to consider that, “maybe I should.  But I really never thought about it.  I guess he’s always been Gramps to me, and I’m just used to referring to him as…a him.  So I guess it’s just out of…habit.”

“So are you going to start trying to think about him as a girl instead?” Madison asked.

Kimmie shrugged.  “Maybe.  I don’t know.  Like I said, I never thought about it before.”

That was a subject I wished hadn’t come up.  It would be like another piece of my life being torn away.

The suggestion was made for us to say grace so we could eat.  We all bowed our heads and Jenny’s husband Alex said a rather long prayer.  As soon as it was done, people started talking and grabbing food.  Eating.  Having dinner together.  Kimmie started to spoon out some food onto my plate for me.  Mashed potatoes.  Turkey.  Dressing…  She got no further than that when all hell suddenly broke loose.

Mike suddenly yelled, “Hell no!  Oh hell, hell no!”  He stood up looking straight at me.  “I won’t have this.  Not in my house.  I won’t stand for it.”  He pointed angrily at me.  “You’re no father of mine.  Not anymore.  Get out!  Get your fucking fairy ass out of this house.  I don’t have a father anymore.  My father is now dead!  Get out!  I never want to see you again as long as I live!”

I immediately backed my chair from the table and stood up.  I walked away as fast as I could, right out the front door and all the way to Kimmie’s car.  I tried to open it, but it was locked.  I stood there next to the car instead, not crying but breathing heavily.  I was upset.  We never should have come.  I knew this was a bad idea from the start.

Kimmie ran out the front door straight to me.  “Gramps,” she said.  “I’m so sorry!”

I finally pulled that plug from my mouth.  “Don’t be,” I told her.  “Just get me out of here!”

Kimmie nodded.  “Wait here.  Let me get my things.”

I stood there in the cold while she ran back into the house.  And yes, that dress didn’t seem to do much at all to protect me from the weather.  Before long, my arms were wrapped around me and I was bouncing from foot to foot, trying to keep warm.  Nothing was helping.  I briefly wondered what all Mike’s neighbors thought about me standing there like that.  I didn’t see any, but I didn’t exactly look around trying to spot any either.  I just watched the front door, waiting for Kimmie.  Finally, she came out.  I saw a few other women watch from inside as she hurried to me.  She unlocked the car, opened the back door and put her large bag inside.  I noticed my bear and doll in the top of the bag.  She put me into the backseat and surprised me by insisting on buckling my seatbelt again.  I guessed that to her, our little game still wasn’t over.  Ashley came out and got into the front seat.  Two minutes later, we were driving away, back to Ashley’s house.

We weren’t back long before Kimmie took that dress off of me so it wouldn’t get dirty.  I had no men’s clothes at all on that trip, and something told me she wouldn’t let me wear them if I did.  Instead, she stuck me into a skirt outfit and sent me out to the living room to play with my toys.

A little while later, we were all surprised by the knock at the front door.  I wanted to run and hide, but Kimmie ordered me to stay right where I was while Ashley answered the door.  A minute later, Mike’s wife Marie came in with several plastic food containers in her hands.

“You never got to eat anything,” she explained.  “So I brought you some.”  She turned to me.  “I’m so sorry Gramps,” she told me.  “Really, I am.  Mike promised he wouldn’t say anything.  He promised not to make any kind of fuss.  They all did.  But…”  She shook her head.  “I’m just sorry.”

Ashley hugged her.  So did Kimmie.  A minute later, she was gone.

We had our own thanksgiving dinner after that.  I was simply happy that it wasn’t baby food.

After lunch, Kimmie undressed me down to my diaper and bra, and pulled one of her sweatshirts on me.  Then she stuck me in bed for my afternoon nap.  I marveled that after what had happened earlier, she still insisted on treating me like a child.  Okay, I didn’t have one shred of male clothing to make the clothing situation any different, but still, she wasn’t just dressing me like a child, she was treating me like one.

Naptime forced me to lay there in the quiet and think about things.  I had been disowned by my own son.  He  had thrown me out of his house and wanted nothing more to do with me.  And I couldn’t blame him one bit.  I’m only surprised that none of the other men hadn’t spoken up, siding with him as well.  In any other situation, I certainly would have.  I deserved all the blame and ridicule they all could possibly give me.  All of it.  And forget about Kimmie’s involvement.  Forget about the things Kimmie had done to force things on me.  The blame for it all had to go squarely on my shoulders, and my shoulders alone.  I deserved what I had gotten earlier, and a whole lot worse.

But what was I going to do about it?  That was an important question.  The question of the age…and I’m not talking about my age, either real or imagined.  What was I going to do?  The answer was rather blatant and easy.  It was an answer I had looked at many times already and I knew it better than the back of my own hand.  The answer was easy.  The answer was…I wasn’t going to do anything about it.  I was going to remain under Kimmie’s iron hand and do whatever she wanted, whether I thought it was a good idea or not.

Was I weak?  Yes.  Was I sick?  Yes.  Was I nothing but a demented sissy?  Again, yes.  Me.  Bill.  Gramps or Dad to most of the family.  At age sixty-nine, had allowed myself to sink from respectability, down to being a detestable sissy loser.  I deserved all the berating.  I deserved all the ridicule.  And I wasn’t going to do a single thing about it…except suck my baby pacifier and wet my diapers.

I was weak.  Both physically because of my age, and now mentally as well.  Weak…as a child.  I deserved all of it, the treatment, and the ridicule.

Kimmie had reduced me, and despite everything, I couldn’t figure out if I wanted life to be any different or not.  But then, I was a toddler now.  A baby.  Babies weren’t supposed to be able to figure out things like that.

It wasn’t darn Kimmie that was to blame.  It was darn me.

 

Gramps - Chapter 21

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 21

 

The looming still loomed.  The reason for that looming, was looney.  It was Wednesday.  Trip day.  Disaster day.  In many ways, the day started out normal.  In many ways it was anything but normal.

I woke up at my usual time, and hurried into the bathroom to brush my teeth, shave, remove my soaked diaper, and jump into the shower.  The reason I hurried was not because of the trip or because of Kimmie.  I hurried because I was cold and couldn’t wait to get my body under the nice hot shower water.  Since Kimmie hadn’t put anything on me to wear to bed other than my fat nighttime diaper, and the weather had turned downright chilly, I needed that warmth.

Kimmie was there as usual to “dress” me.  Believe me, I expected a lengthy dressing session.  I was very surprised to get nothing but a bit of powder, a daytime diaper, and my old sweatshirt again.  Nothing else.  Was she sending me out in the car for the entire day with nothing to cover my diaper?  I wouldn’t put it past her.  I had once heard one of her students refer to her as a badass, and yeah, that was my Kimmie.

Once I was diapered and had my sweatshirt on, Kimmie told me to go watch cartoons until breakfast was ready.  And don’t forget your baby pacifier!” she reminded me.  She was gone from my room before I could get off the bed.

Pacifier in place, when I walked into the living room the first thing I noticed was that all my baby toys were gone.  Every last one.  Kimmie was still fussing with the TV, and soon it was playing the most ridiculous babyish cartoons imaginable.  I hated stuff like that.  I knew it was supposed to be good for real babies and toddlers, but I hardly fell in that category.  Something told me though that mentioning that to Kimmie would only get me an argument from her, and I’d still wind up having to watch them.  Especially today.  I had easily picked up on the fact that Kimmie was going a bit crazier today than I had ever seen her.

Kimmie was off in the kitchen fixing breakfast where she couldn’t see me.  There were no toys around on the floor.  I headed straight for my beloved recliner and sat in it.  Ah!  Much better than spending hours at a time down on the floor.

During breakfast, Kimmie kept going back and forth from the table to the laundry room.  How could she still be doing laundry?  She had to have washed every piece of clothing in the entire house, twice!  Maybe three times by now.  I said nothing about it.  I just ate my breakfast cereal and drank from my baby bottle full of milk.  Yes milk, I didn’t always get baby formula. 

After breakfast, I climbed into my recliner again to continue watching whatever the cartoons now on TV had changed to.  I had a pacifier in my mouth, but what I was really wishing for was a cup of coffee.  Especially if I could get that coffee in a real coffee cup instead of a bottle.  I had noticed over the last few days that Kimmie had been giving me only baby bottles to drink from for everything.  Drinking anything from those things was tedious.  I was very used to drinking from them now, but I still longed to drink from something else.

I kept expecting Kimmie to tell me it was time to leave, but she didn’t.  She just kept doing this and that.  Packing and…I didn’t know what else.  I sat in my chair and relished the relative normalcy of it.  I relished it more because I knew what awaited me…soon.

And then Kimmie was standing in front of me.  “Gramps,” she said.  “Get your sneakers on.  We’re going out back for a bit of exercise.”

I was surprised.  Exercise?  Now?  Okay.  Anything to delay the inevitable.  I put those sneakers on and headed out the door.  I was stretching a bit and getting my body ready to go walking, when Kimmie came up to me.  “Gramps.  I want to try something for a few minutes, and I know you’re not going to like it.  But I promise, it’ll only be for a few minutes.”

I tried to ask what, but I forgot about the pacifier in my mouth.  What came out instead was, “Mm?”  And then something in what she had said registered in my brain.  I wasn’t going to like it.

Kimmie reached into her pocket and pulled out a length of heavy cord, almost like thin rope.  But it was what was at the end of that cord that really concerned me.  That nose clamp!  “Uh!” came out of my mouth as I tried to tell her no!

Kimmie reached out and grabbed me around the back of my neck.  “Relax Gramps,” she said.  “I just want to try this for a minute before we go.  I’m not going to hurt you or keep this thing on you.  This is just to try something.”

Once again I tried and failed to get a proper no out of my mouth.

With one hand holding my neck firmly, her other hand stuck that clamp in my nose and began twisting to tighten it.

“Uh!  Uh!” I cried, trying to say ouch.

And then she took her hand away and that thing was stuck right where she had put it.  She grabbed the other end of the cord, turned, and with no warning, started walking away from me.

“Uh!” I screamed as the cord tightened and my nose went crazy with pain.  I had no choice but to follow to keep it from hurting worse.  “Uh!” I complained again, but either she didn’t understand me, or she didn’t care.  Maybe both.

All the way around the backyard she pulled me.  I was in tears by the time we had walked for less than a minute.  When we got back to the house, she stopped and turned to me.  “I think that works pretty well.  What do you think?”

I didn’t answer.  I don’t think she was looking for an answer.  She came close to me and put her face close to mine.  “Gramps.  You know how much I love you, but this trip is important to me.  I want you to behave like my little baby girl the entire time we’re gone, right up until we get home…and even after we get back.  My perfect…little baby girl,” she emphasized.  “I’m going to have this nose clamp with me all the time, and trust me, the moment you start to give me any trouble you’re going to find yourself in more pain than what I just put you through now.  So remember that.  You’re not a man anymore.  Start thinking of yourself as a little baby girl.  My little baby girl.  And you love acting like a little baby girl.  Always!  Or else!”

She stared me in the face for a moment, then finally removed that clamp.  My nose hurt!  My soul hurt.  Everything hurt.  “Come on,” she said.  “Let’s start getting you ready to go.”

I was still recovering from the ordeal she had just put me through, but even still, the dread of what she was about to make me go through next crashed heavily down on me.  And it all started with her taking me into my bedroom and having me lay down on that plastic tablecloth that she always put under me when she changed my diaper.

My diaper wasn’t very wet, so I was very surprised when she took it off me.  What surprised me, and angered me, was that she quickly started putting that damn flat chastity device on me.  “Uh-uh!” I tried to tell her, wanting her to stop.  I wanted to argue that I had been good and there was no need for that thing, but the pacifier had other ideas.

“Quiet Gramps,” she said sternly.  “Babies don’t play with themselves the way you like to.  And baby girls don’t even have the equipment to play with themselves that way.  So we’re dealing with it now.”

Before long, I was wondering if we would have time to call the police to put out another missing person’s report on my cock.  That thing could disappear at the worst times!

When she was done with removing my cock from existence, she put more powder on me, followed by a fresh diaper.  A pair of pastel yellow plastic pants came next to cover the diaper.  I expected another pair of tights to come next since I had so many of them now, but instead she just slipped a pair of those pretty little girl socks on my feet.

The incongruous bra came next.  I never understood why she insisted I had to wear one all the time whenever she dressed me like a toddler.  It was so out of place.  But Kimmie insisted and the bra was always on.  A soft pullover shirt came next to cover the bra.  After that, Kimmie buckled those black little girl shoes on my feet.  She had me stand up, and step into one of my new short miniskirts that barely covered my diaper.

But she wasn’t done with me yet.  My hair came next.  I sucked my pacifier in silence while I stood there and let her play with it, pulling it this way and that, in directions I had never combed it.  Then she held it all in place with some colorful childish hairclips that had big yellow bows that couldn’t be missed if you tried.  Were the yellow bows supposed to match my yellow plastic pants?  Probably.

Kimmie finally stood back and looked me over.  “Okay Gramps,” she said.  “Go sit in your chair…and try not to get dirty!”

Get dirty?  Me?  How?  Feeling totally stupid.  Feeling the dread of the upcoming trip more than ever.  And still feeling the soreness in my nose from her latest torture session with the clamp, I went out to my chair and sat.

Was I really going to do this?  No!

Was I really going to go up and display myself in all this insanity in front of my entire family?  No!

Was I really going to pretend that Kimmie was my mommy and I was her baby girl for days and days on end?  No!

Half an hour later, Kimmie came into the living room.  “Okay Gramps,” she said.  “Let’s go.”

I got up from my chair and followed her.  On the way to the car, I pulled the plug from my mouth.  “Can’t I wear a coat?” I asked.  “It’s cold out and it’ll be a lot colder up in Baltimore.”

“You’ll be fine,” she told me.  “You don’t have any coats that are appropriate for what you are now, so we’ll just wrap you up in blankets when you need something.”

The blanket idea sounded good, especially if it would keep my embarrassing state from being seen by anyone.  Something told me though that I wasn’t going to have that luxury very often.

I was surprised when Kimmie held the front door of the car open for me.  I expected her to put me in the backseat like a toddler, but I gratefully sat upfront.  Before I could buckle my seatbelt, Kimmie leaned in and did that for me, pulling it secure and tight.  She left the car but was back a moment later to hand me my teddy bear and that singing doll.  Only then did she close the car door and go around to the driver’s side.

My stomach gave a major lurch as she pulled out of the driveway, and we left the safe confines of my house behind.  I was dressed like a little girl, and everyone would be able to see me through the car windows.  My family all lived just north of Baltimore, Maryland, about a seven-hour drive from Johnson City.  Eight hours if you spent much time eating or doing anything else.  It could be an even longer drive if there were any accidents or other delays.  The clock on the dashboard said it was just after ten in the morning.  Kimmie hadn’t rushed to leave any earlier.  We had a long drive and a long day ahead of us.  It would easily be dinner time when we got there.

We had only been driving for a minute, and I only wanted to go back home.  Why was I doing this?  Was I simply too afraid of Kimmie?  That had to be the reason.  I couldn’t think of anything else.  Fear!  Fear of my own granddaughter.  I had no doubt though that the fear about having everyone else see me this way was destroying my stomach.

“You can take that paci out of your mouth if you want,” Kimmie suddenly told me.  “If…you want.  Up to you,” she added.

What weird thing was she going to throw at me now?  I balanced the singing doll on my lap and pulled the plug from my mouth.  With the same hand that now held the pacifier, I grabbed the doll again so it wouldn’t fall on the floor.  My other hand was busy holding the teddy bear.

“Are you excited to see the family again?” Kimmie asked me.  “It’s been quite a while for you now.  Since Grams died.”

Yeah, it had been a while, but I certainly didn’t want anyone to see me like this.  “Excited?” I replied.  “That’s not exactly the way I’d put it.”

She smiled and briefly turned her head toward me.  “Worried about what everyone is going to think about you?”

“What do you think?”

She nodded.  “I’m sure you are.”

“I’m not going to deny that.  I’m very, very worried.  This is all stupid.  It’s a bad idea.  And…”  I sighed.  “I can’t believe I’m actually doing it.”

“I know,” she told me.  “But Gramps…”  She looked briefly at me again before finishing.  “I really appreciate it.  I really do.  And just keep remembering.  I love you to death.”

“To death?  You’re going to be the death of me yet!  Especially if you keep doing things like this to me.”

She chuckled a bit, but said nothing about that.  We talked.  Almost like two normal adults.  She asked a few questions, and I answered.  I asked a few things and she answered.  Like two adults.  Almost.  I didn’t appreciate it when while she was driving, she carefully reached into a bag in the backseat, and pulled out a baby bottle.  With one hand she removed the cover over the nipple before handing the bottle to me.  Once again I had to do a balancing act with all my newfound “friends” in my lap.  I knew I’d have no choice but to drink that thing where everyone on the road could see me doing it.  I just hoped that the number people who actually noticed me was as few as possible.  Or none!  That would be much better.  I put the bottle to my lips and started drinking.

“Answer me truthfully,” Kimmie said while I drank.  “When you’re sleeping, do you wet yourself at night without knowing it now?”

I pulled the bottle from my lips to consider that.  “Truthfully?” I replied.  “No.  Not really.  Most of the time I wake up realizing I need to pee, but when I do, it doesn’t seem like much comes out of me at all.  The stranger thing is that when I get up every morning, my diaper always seems to be a lot wetter than I think it should be.”

She nodded.  “So do you think you could be peeing sometimes in your sleep without you knowing it?”

I considered that.  “Maybe,” I admitted.  “But like I said, I’m still waking up every night knowing I need to pee.  I usually let it out right away so I can go back to sleep.  Maybe I’m just not remembering all the times I wake up knowing I need to pee.”

“Could be,” she admitted.

I expected her to ask about my daytime wetting, or pooping, but she didn’t.  When she didn’t say anything else, I chanced saying.  “Can I ask you something personal?”

She looked at me, then back at the road.  “Go ahead,” she replied.

“Do you get off on doing all this?” I asked.

Once again she briefly turned to me.  I saw that wicked smile of hers again.  “Of course, Gramps,” she admitted.  “I’m sure that’s a major part of all this for me.”  I had no doubt.  It wasn’t until a minute later that she added, “But getting off on it isn’t the only reason.”

I thought about that for a moment then remembered why she had started doing it in the first place.  “You still feel sorry about keeping me from my…personal bit of fun, when you first moved in.”

She considered that.  “Yeah.  But still, that’s become just a small part of it for me.  There’s a bigger reason, and I’m not sure I can put it into words.  Not to mention, it’s a little hard for me to talk about.”

“Would you tell me if you could put it into words?”

She seemed to consider that before answering.  “Maybe,” she said.  “It’s no big secret.  It’s just that…maybe I’m not ready to talk about it yet.”

It was my turn to consider her words.  I drank from my bottle and tossed it around in my mind.  Then I said, “I’m guessing it’s something to do with that hysterectomy you had to go through.”

I didn’t miss the troubled look on her face.  She didn’t answer directly.  She did give a small nod of her head though.  I said nothing else about it, but I could almost guess the rest.

My bottle finished.  “Can I just throw this empty in the backseat?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she agreed.  “Fine.”

Was she still thinking about her resulting problems because of that hysterectomy?  I could only assume that.  I decided on another question that I hoped would be lighter and pull her out of that funk.  “Tell me,” I said.  “A while back, in the grocery store, I remember one of the girls there calling you a badass.  Does anyone ever call you that anymore since they all seem to know what you do with me?”

Her face brightened.  “Not usually to my face,” she said.  “But other teachers have told me that the girls often refer to me as Badass Miss Kim, the dominatrix.  I can tell you though that I rarely have any trouble from any of the kids, and I think it’s because of that reputation.”

I couldn’t help but smile.  “Badass Miss Kim, the dominatrix.”  I let out a loud mock sigh.  “Yeah, that fits.”

She laughed.  “Yeah,” she agreed.

Now that I had finished that bottle, I think it triggered something else inside me.  Something that would be a much bigger problem.  Not to mention, smellier.  I moved around a bit uncomfortably, but nothing seemed to help.

Kimmie noticed me moving around.  “If you’ve got going on what I think you’ve got, then don’t you dare hold back.  Do it!  Now!  Push!  I know for a fact you can do it while you’re sitting.  I’ve seen you do it in your chair a number of times.  Push Gramps.  Do it!”

She needn’t have said anything.  Only a brief moment after I first realized I had to go, my body was already pushing.  By the time she finished her last, “Do it!” I had already done it.  I settled myself back down in that awful mush.  How long was I going to have to sit in that mess?  All the way to Baltimore?  I hoped not.

Kimmie simply looked over at me with that wicked smile of hers.  “Good baby,” she said.  “Good baby.”

I could just kill her sometimes.

When lunchtime came, Kimmie pulled into a fast-food restaurant and parked the car.  I started to panic.

“You’re going in, like it or not!” she told me in no uncertain terms.  “And don’t even think about giving me any trouble over it.  How many times have you been out shopping dressed just like you are?  This is no different.  Now just take either your bear or your doll and let’s go.  And keep that pacifier in your mouth!”

I didn’t want to get out…except maybe to have my smelly diaper changed, but she didn’t seem to be giving me much of a choice.  I didn’t want to take the bear or doll inside with me either.  I just sat there in fear.  Before I knew it, Kimmie had opened my car door and was leaning in to unbuckle my seatbelt.  She took my teddy bear and set it on the floor, leaving just the doll in my hands.  She took my pacifier and pushed it into my mouth.  “Suck!” she ordered.  “Properly!”  Then she pulled on my arm and before I knew it, I was out of the car.  Exposed!

Kimmie held my hand like a little girl and led me and my messy diaper right into the restaurant…which was packed with people.  I wet myself just walking in there.  We had to stand in line behind a number of those people, and soon there were other people in line behind us.  All of them looking at me.  If I hadn’t just wet myself, I would have done it again.

When it was our turn to order, I never even thought about removing the baby pacifier from my mouth.  Kimmie ordered me a kid’s meal, and a few minutes later, Kimmie carried the tray of food while she led me to a table.  I half expected her to pull a baby bottle from her bag to pour my drink into, but instead she just stuck a straw in my kid’s cup as if I was just another toddler.  Hooray!  I could drink from a straw like everyone else!  I felt so grown up.  You know, that’s a sad thought.

I was about to start eating my kid’s chicken nuggets, which I already knew wasn’t going to come close to filling me up, but I was interrupted by Kimmie struggling to pull the plastic off of a two-inch plastic princess doll, my “special toy” that had come with the meal.  She stood the doll up where I could see it while I ate.  I didn’t feel so grown up anymore. 

When we were done, she held my hand and led me back to the car, but before she opened the door for me, she stopped me, pulled up my skirt, stuck her hand down inside my plastic pants, and did a thorough diaper check on me.  She said nothing at all about the state of my somewhat wet and messy diaper before she opened the car door, buckled me into my seat, and closed the door again.  I was more than happy to be back in the car.  I just wasn’t happy about our destination.

Once back on the road, we talked a bit again about this and that, but the talking was more sparce than it had been before lunch.  A few hours later, Kimmie pulled into a gas station and filled the car while I stayed buckled in my seat.  After filling the tank though, Kimmie pulled the car into one of the parking places in front of the building.  She got out again and went into the back seat.  I couldn’t quite see what she was doing from where I was buckled tightly into the front seat.

She opened my car door for me and pulled me out.  Then she led me to the rear door and pushed me inside.  I saw she had spread out that plastic tablecloth she used whenever she changed me.  “Lay down,” she told me.

A bit fearful, I laid on my back stretched across the backseat.  I couldn’t believe it.  She was about to change me right here?  In public?  Where anyone could see?  She pulled my skirt off first…and I pulled the plug from my mouth.  “You’re going to change me?  In public like this?  Kimmie, people can see me.”

“So what?” she replied firmly.  “Gramps, you’re a baby now.  Get used to it.  Babies have no shame.  They have no concept of it.  They’re perfectly fine running around totally nude.  You’re a baby, so stop worrying about it.  Worrying about things is for adults.  That’s my job.”  She pointed her finger at me.  “Do we have to discuss who’s the baby here?”

Instead of answering, I stuck the baby pacifier back in my mouth and laid my head back.

My plastic pants soon went the way of my miniskirt and my messy diaper quickly followed.  It seemed to take her no time to clean me up, get a fresh diaper under me and fastened tightly around me.  The plastic pants came back, then the skirt.  She pulled me out of the car for a minute while she cleaned everything up and put it away.  Then she stuck me back in the car, this time in the backseat.  A minute later, she had buckled my seatbelt for me, and I had my bear and my doll to keep me company.

“No more talking,” she told me softly.  “You’re a baby.”  She started to pull back, but stopped.  “And I expect you to be sitting in another messy diaper before we get there.  Don’t worry about telling me about it.  In fact, on this entire trip don’t tell anyone about how bad your diaper is.  You’re a baby, it’s not your job to tell us things like that.  It’s our job to find out and take care of it.”  She looked at me for a moment more, then repeated, “Remember.  No more talking.  You’re a baby now, so act like it.”  She closed the car door and a minute later, we were back on the road.

Hour after hour she drove.  Occasionally, she reached back into a bag on the floor and extracted another baby bottle that she threw onto the seat next to me before saying, “Drink that baby.”

I had gone from being almost treated like an adult for the first half of the trip, to being reduced back to a toddler.  A baby.  Trust me, I felt it.  I also felt it when a few hours later my diaper was once again mushier in the seat than I wanted.  But she had made it clear she didn’t want me to tell her about it.  What would she do about it anyway?  She was driving.

About an hour from our destination, she suddenly pulled off the highway and into another gas station.  Like before, she filled the car with gas, and like before, when she was done she pulled the car into one of the parking spaces.  Without a word, she removed me from the backseat, spread out that tablecloth she used for a changing mat, and had me lie down on it.  Once again she changed me like an infant.  It was all done quickly and silently.  Soon I was buckled back in my seat with my doll and my bear that I didn’t want.

“Remember,” she said softly right next to my face.  “I love you.  I love you very much.  But I need you to be my baby now.  And I need you to act like a baby and like you love being a baby…which Gramps, we both know you do.”  She kissed my cheek.  “Love you,” she said again.  Then she backed out and closed my car door.

As soon we were back on the highway, she pushed the buttons on her steering wheel and told the car to phone her mother.  I soon heard my daughter Ashley’s voice filling the car.

“Hi Mom,” Kimmie said.

“Hi Kimmie,” Ash replied.  “Where are you?”

“We’re about an hour out.  I just wanted to let you know.”

“Still that far?  Okay.  I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too, Mom,” Kimmie told her.  “See you soon.”

An hour out.  An hour before I would have to start facing my family.  The looming disaster.  The illness in my stomach returned.

Eventually we pulled into the driveway of Ashley’s house.  A nice house.  Most of the family had nice houses.  Now that Kimmie and Keith, her brother, were grown and had moved out of the house, Ash lived alone.  Ashley was out the door the moment Kimmie had parked her car.

“Stay there,” Kimmie told me quickly.  “I’ll undo your seatbelt.”

The baby game.  I could already see Ashly trying to get a better look at me through the car window.  Kimmie got out of the car, went around and hugged her mother.  I couldn’t hear what they said.  I didn’t really care that much either.  I was more worried about myself.  And then Kimmie opened my car door, leaned in, and unfastened my seat belt.  She made sure I was still sucking on my baby pacifier, stuck my bear in my right hand and my doll in my left, and carefully drew me up and out of the car.  I soon had no choice but to stand like that in front of my oldest daughter, Ashley.

“Hi Dad,” Ashley said as she looked me over carefully.  “You look…um…darling.”

I pulled the plug from my mouth.  “You mean stupid and ridiculous.”

She stared at me again for a moment before saying, “Yeah.  You do.  But still…darling.  Definitely darling.”

Could she tell I was wetting my diaper again?  I’m sorry.  I couldn’t help it.

“Paci,” Kimmie said softly, and I stuck my baby pacifier back in my mouth.

“Let me help you with your things,” Ashley told Kimmie.

The two of them loaded up with a few bags each.  Neither of them seemed to even think about handing me anything.  I soon followed them up the front walk and in through the front door.  Kimmie pointed to the floor.  “Sit and play,” she told me.  “I want to hear some of the songs your doll sings.”

My doll.  My stupid singing doll.

She started to continue on toward her bedroom with the things she was carrying, but she paused long enough to say, “And don’t even think about sitting on any of the furniture…ever!  Not with a wet diaper.  Not unless someone tells you, you can.”  She left me to my doll.  I pressed the button in her hand and the singing commenced.  Ugh!

We had arrived late enough that it was soon dinner time.  My bear and my barely tolerable singing doll got left gratefully behind on the floor while I followed Kimmie to the table.  She put me into a chair and shocked me by tying a dishtowel around my neck.  I was shocked, but with that pacifier still filling my mouth I couldn’t say anything about it.  What would I say anyway?  Nothing.

Neither Ash nor Kimmie talked to me.  They only took care of me.  Ash soon set a bowl down in front of me along with a teaspoon.  I looked into the bowl and was completely puzzled.  It was full of glop.  Or mush.  I didn’t know what else to call it, but it was green and orange.  I pulled the pacifier from my mouth.  I couldn’t eat with it there anyway.  “What’s this?” I asked.

Ash looked at me strangely.  “It’s baby food Dad.  Baby food…for a baby.  Now eat it.  Or do you need me to feed you?”  She smiled.  “I will if you like.  It’s up to you.  Whatever you prefer.”  I picked up the spoon in self-defense.

“Aw!” she said.  “I shouldn’t have given you the choice.  Next time, I’ll just feed you.”

Heaven forbid!

While Ash and Kimmie ate real food, I dipped my spoon into the bowl of…mush.  Half the bowl appeared to be green mush, and the other half appeared to hold orange mush.  I tried just a tiny bit of each and absolutely couldn’t tell what either of them were supposed to be.  They both just seemed to taste strange.  Kimmie set a baby bottle in front of me that held white stuff.  I couldn’t tell if it held milk or baby formula.  Since it was white, I was hoping it was just regular milk.  Taking a big breath for courage, I stuck my spoon fully into the green glop and ate some.  Nope.  Not a clue as to what it was.  I tested the baby bottle.  Milk.  Hooray.  I continued to eat in silence while Kim and her mother talked and ignored me.

After dinner, I was put back on the floor of the living room again, this time with a plethora of my toys to play with.  Kim and her mother cleaned up the kitchen and then sat and watched TV, but mostly they just talked.  I tried to ignore them both and just sit there and watch what was on the TV.  I was glad it wasn’t cartoons.

At eight o’clock.  Kimmie got up from her seat, pulled me to my feet, and took me back to the room where I would be sleeping.  I noticed a bunch of my things in there.  She undressed me completely.  Changed me into my night diaper.  Stuck me into that footed sleeper, and then let me go back to the living room to play again on the floor.

I heard Ashley laugh.  “He’s darling Kimmie,” she said.  “Darling.”

I knew Ashley was happy.  “I’m glad you think so,” she replied.  “How are the others doing though?”

Ashly shook her head.  “I won’t lie to you.  There’s still a bit of a war going on between the guys and the girls.  Like I told you, all the women seem to be fine with it.  Most of them are more curious and interested in seeing what you’ve done with him than ever.  It’s just all the guys who are still angry about it.  Don’t worry!  They’re fine.  I made sure.  They all agreed to put up with it while you’re here.  Nobody is going to say a word.  And if they do, trust me, me and Jenny will take care of it.  Not you!  And especially not him!”

Kimmie nodded then leaned over and hugged her mother.  “Thanks Mom.  This means more to me than I ever thought it would.”

“I know dear,” Ash told her.  “I know.”

It seemed like just a few minutes later when eight-thirty arrived.  But it wasn’t Kimmie who stood up and got me to my feet.  It was Ashley.  She grabbed my hand with one hand, while her other hand picked up both my bear and my doll.  Feeling like more of a fool than ever, I let her lead me back to my bedroom.  She put me into the bed and pulled the covers over me.  Then she sat on the side of the bed to talk.

“Dad.  As weird as all this is…and trust me, it boggles my mind.  I’m sure it boggles your mind too.  But I just want you to know that I think it’s good that you’ve got someone taking care of you now.  I know that Kimmie is not only company for you, but she’s making sure you eat right and that you get some exercise, which face it, you needed.  When you retired, you retired to a chair in your living room and you stayed there.

“Now, Kimmie has, well, given you a bit of life back.  No, it’s certainly not anything normal.  Not by any stretch of the imagination.  But it’s more life than you had before.  And Dad, that much is obvious to all of us.”  She smiled down at me before saying, Jenny though keeps wondering why Kimmie doesn’t have you calling her Mom, or Mommy instead of just Kim.  To be honest, I’m kind of wondering the same thing.  But I guess you and Kimmie have talked about all that already and made your decisions.”

She leaned down and kissed my cheek.  “Goodnight Dad,” she said softly.  “Enjoy yourself while you’re here.  Be young again.”  With that she got up from the side of the bed and headed for the door.  Kimmie came in.  She made sure both the bear and doll were snuggled under each of my arms.  She removed the pacifier from my mouth and handed me a warm baby bottle.  The light was turned out and I was left alone.

Call her Mom or Mommy?  Kimmie had never mentioned anything like that.  Should I?  Did she want that?  I had no idea.  For now, I’d rather not even consider such a thing.  She wasn’t my mommy.  She was my granddaughter.  Although from our relationship, you’d never know it.

I put the nipple of the bottle to my mouth and took a drink.  Baby formula.  Ugh!  Even here.

Darn woman!