The Bet
by Karen Singer
Chapter 41 (Thursday – week 6 Part 1 of 8)
In her dreams, she lived in a fine new house – a mansion. And Sissy was right there to take care of it for her. Everything was kept beautifully. The house was in perfect order, and everything she needed personally was taken care of as well. Except that… Sissy had somehow become a robot – a mechanical creature incapable of feelings of any kind. He worked diligently and continuously without complaint. Every request was automatically carried out, just as a proper machine should do.
While he basically looked the same, every once in a while she actually caught sight of the small rivets that held him together – the most prominent ones hinging his jaw. The rivets served as a constant reminder to her of just what he was… and what he wasn’t.
Though he was perfect in every way as far as taking care of her, the one thing that she found that she wanted the most from him was to feel something, to express thoughts that weren’t mechanically generated. She wanted more and more to know that… he cared about her.
Over and over again, she tried to work with him, train him, teach him… and over and over again she failed. It just wasn’t possible. Teaching the mechanical Sissy to have feelings of any kind was simply impossible.
More and more she began to feel alone, abandoned. More and more she yearned for his affection... his love. And more and more the aching loss made itself known by the physical discomfort in the pit of her stomach.
The sound of her alarm clock brought her out of her dream state, out of sleep. Yet the feeling of depression and the feeling of discomfort in her stomach didn’t change one bit. She opened her eyes and reached out to turn off the alarm, and remembered that she was still at the height of her period. No wonder she felt bad. Hopefully, later today things would start to ease off.
She pulled herself out of bed and made a stop in the bathroom before heading to her kitchen. The coffee pot seemed like a beacon, calling her to it. Mechanically, she fixed the pot and set it brewing. She stood there, right in front of it the whole time it was working. Her eyes were closed the entire time as if she was asleep. She tried to think, but thoughts refused to come. All she was really aware of was the discomfort in her body from her period. She opened her eyes occasionally to check if the coffee was ready yet… but as they say, a watched pot never boils. It seemed like an eternity till she could finally pour herself a cup and take that first sip. The hot liquid seemed to burn all the way down to her stomach. And she loved it!
She took several more sips right where she was standing till she finally decided she could move again – and then she headed directly into her living room where she collapsed onto her favorite chair to finish her coffee. A few sips later, she finally took a deep breath, trying to wake herself up more, trying to snap out of her funk and come back to life again. It worked, but not quite the way she would have liked.
Her first new thoughts were of sitting at the table last night, trying to talk to Sissy. And of how his reply had stung. She never once thought about how rude he had been. She never once reminded herself that nothing he said or thought mattered in the least. She never once even thought anything at all about the bet. All she remembered was that he thought she didn’t care about him, and how cold he had been towards her. And it hurt.
A few sips of coffee later, her mind slowly began to function a bit more. How could he think that she didn’t care? Wasn’t everything she did all for him? Wasn’t everything designed to fulfill his wildest fantasies – which were wild, to say the least! So how could he possibly think that she didn’t care?
An image of her beating him severely a few nights ago flashed through her brain. An image of her making him spend an inordinate amount of time on the perch in his corner came to mind. An image of him drinking baby bottle after baby bottle in an attempt to avoid getting punished for not leaking came to mind. An image of him in his highchair with nothing to eat but baby food came to mind. An image… Ugh! There were all too many of them… and none of them were good! Maybe she could see why he thought the way he did. But… all of it was for him. And all of it was designed so that she could win the bet… and ultimately keep – him.
Couldn’t he see that? Of course not! Despite all the male things she had taken away from him, what she could probably never remove was his pig-headed way of thinking. Male thinking. Men! They just never had a clue!
With her brain functioning marginally better now, she drained the last of her coffee and headed for the shower. It was another day. And she had absolutely no idea what she was going to do about Sissy.
Chad stared mindlessly at his reflection in the mirror. He had hurt her last night with his words. He had never meant to do that, they had just kind of slipped out. But once words were said, they could never really be recalled. She had every right to be mad at him. But nothing she could ever do to him could make him feel worse than he did right now about it. He had tried to tell her he was sorry, but she didn’t want to hear it… rightfully so. He needed a way to fix things with her. But he didn’t have a clue as to how.
Disgusted with himself, he grabbed his curling iron and went to work on his hair. He was noticing now that it seemed to be a bit longer than it was just a few weeks ago. When he wrapped it around the curling iron, it not only went around further, it came out in tighter curls – that he had to work to straighten more with his brush.
Once his hair was done, he went through his usual makeup routine. It was becoming so familiar that he could practically do it in his sleep. And to think that he used to have so much trouble with just putting on his mascara! How stupid! It really wasn’t all that hard at all! He just prayed he wouldn’t have to worry about fixing his face any other way than what he was doing right now though because he really wouldn’t have a clue as to how!
Yesterday he had worn his colorful dress. Today, he reached for a simple skirt and blouse. There was no question about wearing any kind of pants, they were pretty much out of the question. Since he hadn’t worn them yet, he cleaned his ears and inserted the new pink earrings – the good ones. He loved how they sparkled in the mirror as he turned his head back and forth. There was something about adding earrings to his outfit that just seemed to make him look more like a woman than ever – a situation that actually pleased him.
Since he was wearing the pink earrings, he went with all his old pink jewelry again. Well, it all did match – although the earrings were just a shade darker in color than the rest of it.
Checking his entire image in the mirror one more time, he declared himself ready – physically. Mentally, he had no idea how he was going to face Mel again. And how mad was she probably going to be today? And what was she going to put him through because of it? He worried a lot about that. But mostly, he just wanted to take back what he had said to her last night… or maybe at least the way he had said it, because it wasn’t exactly nice. He had hurt her with his words. And in doing so, he was the one who was suffering. But of course, she’d never understand that. Women!
Mel had fixed his baby cereal breakfast because she didn’t know what else to do. And when his knock came at her door, she still wasn’t prepared to face him. But she had to face him. Their time apart had come to an end. Bracing herself, she went to the door and opened it.
“Good mowning, Mistwess,” he said in his sissy voice as he dropped his usual curtsey for her.
Something inside of her still thrilled to see him do that, but today it was a muted thrill. “Good morning, Sissy,” she replied as she backed out of the way to let him in. She waited till he set his purse and diaper bag down under her table by the door, then she took his bag of empty baby bottles from him. She would never bother to check to see if the right number was there. Not today at least. She gave him the once over. “The pink earrings today,” she noted out loud. “They really are pretty.”
“Thank you, Mistress,” he replied.
She recognized that they were both just going through the usual dance – probably because neither of them knew what else to do. Continuing the situation, she sent him to climb up into his highchair. She followed him in and put the tray in place for him, then tied his bib around his neck. Should she really be doing this? But what else was there? The moment the bib was in place, she stood back to look at him. Was he smiling at her more than usual this morning? She couldn’t figure out why – if he was.
She picked up the bowl of baby cereal with the tiny baby spoon already in it and carried it to him. She set it down on the tray. Was he smiling at her again? Why? She grabbed another baby bottle full of juice and brought that to him as well. Then she went back to grab her coffee and stand leaning against the counter to watch him – just as she usually did. But somehow, she wasn’t looking forward to watching him make a fool of himself this morning.
Chad finally picked up the tiny spoon in his left fist like he was supposed to. He started to bring it toward the bowl of lousy baby cereal… and he stopped. He had to do something! He had to! He carefully set the spoon down on the tray and looked directly up at her. “Mistress,” he began in his sissy voice. “I just wanted to say how sorry I am again for what I said last night. I didn’t really mean it! I didn’t mean to hurt you at all. I didn’t want to do that… it just happened.” He looked down at the cereal in front of him. “I used to have the same problem with my wife… I mean my ex wife. I sometimes say things I don’t really mean.” He looked back up at her again, he felt so bad! “I just wanted you to know how really sorry I am about that!”
Mel could see how emotional he seemed to be about it. She had no doubt at all that he really meant every word. But all that was secondary to her own need to patch things up with him. She barely realized she was heading toward him till she pulled one of the chairs out and sat down at the table near him.
Apologizing was never easy, but she knew that she had to apologize for some of the things she had done to him. “I… I’ve been reckless,” she said before she even knew what she was going to say. “I’ve done things to you and hurt you in ways that… well, I can only imagine how they made you feel. I just thought that… everything I was doing was things you would actually love – deep down somewhere. And everything I was doing has been aimed at one thing and one thing only – so I can win this bet.” She looked down at the table. “And I’m afraid I still feel that way… that I have to win this bet, because…” But she couldn’t really put into words why she needed to win so badly – especially not to him. “Because…” She finally apologetically shrugged her shoulders. “Because I have to!”
Chad heard her, but he didn’t really understand why she felt she should have to apologize to him. “But…” He searched for the right words to say. “But I’m the one who hurt you! I should have never said what I did last night! That was so wrong. It’s just that… just that…” But he didn’t know why he had done it. “Maybe I was just too tired last night,” he finally replied. “Yesterday was a particularly bad day. And I was hungry too.” He tried to smile. “Baby food doesn’t go very far. I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself. I know I shouldn’t do that. It’s not right! I’m not supposed to feel that way. So… I’m sorry,” he said again.
Mel leaned back in her seat. He had been tired and upset. She had been out of sorts too. Together, everything combined to make things worse for both of them. “So what do we do about it?” she finally asked. “I guess that leads me back to my original question from last night. How do you feel about all the things I’ve been making you do? And…” She leaned forward, trying to find the right way to ask this question again. “And, how do you feel about me? Do you at least know that, despite everything I make you do, I do care for you?”
It was hard to look her in the eye and say it. “Yes, I know that you care. It’s just that sometimes… when there’s so much other stuff going on… most of which is bad or disturbing… I guess it’s just hard to realize or remember that.”
She understood – all too well. At least he was aware, on some level, that she cared. “So, where do we go from here?” She asked again. “What do we have to change?”
He shook his head, then he thought some more and shook his head again. “I don’t really know. I guess… nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“As much as I hate to say it,” he grinned, “and I really do hate to say this… But despite all the stuff you make me do, and despite all the problems it’s causing – and will continue to cause, probably for the rest of my life – and despite all the pain – which I hate – you really are making me live what can only be described as a dream. You’re forcing me to do things I never would have been able to do before. The only problem is that all those things are getting harder and harder. But at the same time, I remember that the things that seem nothing to me now, were just as hard when we first started. So, because of you, I’m getting to do things I never imagined I’d be doing in real life – and all too many things I never imagined… period! So I guess my answer has to be, don’t change anything, because at least I know how things are supposed to work now. And if we change things, then I’ll probably be lost.”
Mel thought about his answer. It wasn’t the answer she was expecting to hear – this morning. It had been mostly the answer she had wanted to hear last night. But now, after being so upset about everything, it was a very unexpected answer. “So we keep on exactly as we have been, or at least as my whims dictate… no matter what it’s going to do to you?”
Chad closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again. “Yes. Just as we have been.” Then he thought to add something. “But, maybe you can not pun…”
Mel cut him off quickly. “If we’re going to go on like before, then you don’t get any say as to what I do and what I don’t do!” She put a wicked smile on her face. “So, it’s full steam ahead?”
Chad paused then nodded, “Full steam ahead.” And he prayed that he would survive it.
Mel felt so much better all of a sudden. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She leaned back in her chair again. “So, you said that yesterday was a bad day? Tell me about it.”
Chad picked up his spoon again and started eating. Then he told her in detail how Robin was now starting to get on his case about using his girly voice all the time and how all the women were now teasing him about his upcoming date with Derek. Mel listened raptly to all of it, actually enjoying every word of it. She particularly got a kick when she found out that Robin had seen the picture of him from the poker game and what she had done with it!
It was one of those moments when neither of them wanted the outside world to intrude. Consequently, neither of them realized that his breakfast was taking so long that he was going to be late getting to work.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Here We Go (Again)
Hello sports fans! It was an easy weekend for me. Easily the most laid-back weekend I’ve had in a very long time. I had a few chores I had to get done – the timing of which prevented me from doing any outside work and trying to kill myself in the heat. Fortunately, we haven’t had any rain in some time now so our grass has gone dormant and doesn’t need to be cut. But you don’t want to hear about things like that. Sorry.
Anyway… I wound up seeing very little of my granddaughter and my stepson all weekend. In fact, they were both gone by lunchtime on Sunday and I went back to the pull up style diapers which I was careful to change fairly frequently in case my stepson came home (which he didn’t till 1:30 AM this morning).
Since I was worried about him returning, I didn’t do anything more except spend a few hours working on The Bet – which I really needed to do since I’m now so far behind on it. It’s starting to take me so long to write these chapters that I’m getting worried about everyone catching up to me in the story. No real worry yet, but I have to keep at it to stay ahead of you all. You’re a lot closer to where I am in the story than I’d like. While you all will be starting on Thursday in the story tomorrow morning, I’ve just started on the next Sunday. Not that far ahead! The problem isn’t not knowing what to write, the problem is that I’ve been so monstrously busy that I haven’t had the opportunity to write. But I’m still trying.
Last night I went back to wearing my usual three diapers to bed again – and I enjoyed it thoroughly. And again I managed to listen to my hypno recording and I really got into it. But – for some reason I didn’t wet as easily all night long. I also didn’t sleep all that well. I tossed and turned all night long. Maybe I had too long of a nap yesterday afternoon.
My normal night wetting (when I’m not diapered) usually starts about two AM when I have to get up to go to the bathroom. Then again at Four, then more and more often till I get up between Five-thirty and Six. Actually, very often it’s all the wetting and going to the bathroom that gets me up. I can’t take it anymore. When I’m wearing diapers to bed – and things are working right – I find myself peeing just a little bit at a time all night long. It’s far less disturbing than huge amounts at one time where I’m more worried about leaking. But last night, even though I had listened to my tape and had really gotten into it again, I had a lot of trouble. My wetting schedule seemed to be exactly like my non-diapered bathroom wetting. Huge amounts that got more and more frequent as it got closer and closer to morning. Hopefully, tonight will go better. If at first you don’t succeed…
So, for tonight, I have this “plan” in mind. Remember I said I had built a lousy version of a perch? Well, tonight I’m going to try the one diaper thing with two hours to make it leak. For every minute over that two hours, I’m going to attempt to spend one minute on the perch. I do have a time limit though of thirty minutes – and I’ll probably trim that down to twenty minutes. We’ll see. Hopefully I can manage to get the diaper leaking on time so it won’t be an issue. Then I can just experiment with the perch a bit.
I also need to take some pictures. I don’t know if I’ll get to them tonight or tomorrow. I’ll just have to see.
So that’s about it. Nothing interesting. Sorry about that. But putting it down like this actually helps me. Oh, and it is my blog.
Please do at least one thing for yourself that makes you happy today,
Karen
Anyway… I wound up seeing very little of my granddaughter and my stepson all weekend. In fact, they were both gone by lunchtime on Sunday and I went back to the pull up style diapers which I was careful to change fairly frequently in case my stepson came home (which he didn’t till 1:30 AM this morning).
Since I was worried about him returning, I didn’t do anything more except spend a few hours working on The Bet – which I really needed to do since I’m now so far behind on it. It’s starting to take me so long to write these chapters that I’m getting worried about everyone catching up to me in the story. No real worry yet, but I have to keep at it to stay ahead of you all. You’re a lot closer to where I am in the story than I’d like. While you all will be starting on Thursday in the story tomorrow morning, I’ve just started on the next Sunday. Not that far ahead! The problem isn’t not knowing what to write, the problem is that I’ve been so monstrously busy that I haven’t had the opportunity to write. But I’m still trying.
Last night I went back to wearing my usual three diapers to bed again – and I enjoyed it thoroughly. And again I managed to listen to my hypno recording and I really got into it. But – for some reason I didn’t wet as easily all night long. I also didn’t sleep all that well. I tossed and turned all night long. Maybe I had too long of a nap yesterday afternoon.
My normal night wetting (when I’m not diapered) usually starts about two AM when I have to get up to go to the bathroom. Then again at Four, then more and more often till I get up between Five-thirty and Six. Actually, very often it’s all the wetting and going to the bathroom that gets me up. I can’t take it anymore. When I’m wearing diapers to bed – and things are working right – I find myself peeing just a little bit at a time all night long. It’s far less disturbing than huge amounts at one time where I’m more worried about leaking. But last night, even though I had listened to my tape and had really gotten into it again, I had a lot of trouble. My wetting schedule seemed to be exactly like my non-diapered bathroom wetting. Huge amounts that got more and more frequent as it got closer and closer to morning. Hopefully, tonight will go better. If at first you don’t succeed…
So, for tonight, I have this “plan” in mind. Remember I said I had built a lousy version of a perch? Well, tonight I’m going to try the one diaper thing with two hours to make it leak. For every minute over that two hours, I’m going to attempt to spend one minute on the perch. I do have a time limit though of thirty minutes – and I’ll probably trim that down to twenty minutes. We’ll see. Hopefully I can manage to get the diaper leaking on time so it won’t be an issue. Then I can just experiment with the perch a bit.
I also need to take some pictures. I don’t know if I’ll get to them tonight or tomorrow. I’ll just have to see.
So that’s about it. Nothing interesting. Sorry about that. But putting it down like this actually helps me. Oh, and it is my blog.
Please do at least one thing for yourself that makes you happy today,
Karen
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Quiet weekend
Not much new to report, I guess. As I’m writing this, it’s currently Sunday morning. I have one of my granddaughters staying the night so things are mostly calm and quiet– for now – she’s still asleep. When she’s awake she’s non-stop energy.
Friday evening after work, I looked through what little building materials I had left and kind of constructed a lousy version of my perch. It doesn’t look very good, but it works. Too well. Unfortunately, I think I got the height a bit too high, but… oh well. I only tried it for a few moments to see if it would work like I thought it would, and I’m sorry to say that it does – in every way.
I thought I was making the distance between the two sides just perfect. I was trying to allow only a very little bit of wiggle room for the feet to separate, but in the end, after trying it with two pairs of shoes, the distance turned out to be closer than I thought. My feet are definitely held tightly together with no way to move them apart at all. In fact, once on it, I can’t move my feet any direction other than straight up to get off of the thing.
And yes, it definitely keeps me on my toes. With one pair of heels, the strappy ones, it’s like being in six inch heels – at least! The other pair of heels I bought have a very short rounded toe and I feel like I’m standing right on the tip of my toes. Ballet anyone?
And just as I predicted, once on the thing, my body automatically leans forward, pressing me into the corner. I tried moving it away from the wall and yes, I can stand on it that way too, but it takes a bit more work to compensate for the body trying to lean forward.
I can easily see how someone standing on it might feel like they are on display in such a position. A simple strap around the feet or ankles and the person on it is going – nowhere! They would be forced to stand right where they are, in a VERY uncomfortable and tiring position.
So all in all, I guess it’s the perfect corner torture accessory for confining someone in an out of the way corner somewhere… or a good way to keep someone in one place – possibly on display. Use your imagination.
Sorry I have no pictures yet. Pictures are on my list for next week when I’m alone a bit more. Also, I do still plan to try the perch out a bit more to “experience” it. So far, everything I’ve written about it seems to be completely accurate. Go figure!
As to my diapers… I wore one most of yesterday, since my granddaughter didn’t get here till late afternoon. I took it off just before she came, not because I was leaking, but because I realized that I smelled a bit! Ugh! Not from anything messy. I think it was mostly just me and the heat… and a bit of pee of course.
I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the recording when I went to bed last night. I should have. I meant to. Tonight I will for sure – I hope. Since my granddaughter will be gone by then and I seriously doubt I’ll be seeing my stepson who lives with me any more tonight after that, I will go back to my diapers at night again. I can’t tell you how much I prefer wetting them than getting up over and over again every night to go to the bathroom. And yes, I am on medicine for my prostate, but I still get up to pee a lot. The diapers are definitely more comfortable and convenient. Plus… I simply love it! Enough said.
Well, more tomorrow – or maybe Tuesday.
Have a good day everyone, and just on an impulse, try to kiss someone today.
Karen
Friday evening after work, I looked through what little building materials I had left and kind of constructed a lousy version of my perch. It doesn’t look very good, but it works. Too well. Unfortunately, I think I got the height a bit too high, but… oh well. I only tried it for a few moments to see if it would work like I thought it would, and I’m sorry to say that it does – in every way.
I thought I was making the distance between the two sides just perfect. I was trying to allow only a very little bit of wiggle room for the feet to separate, but in the end, after trying it with two pairs of shoes, the distance turned out to be closer than I thought. My feet are definitely held tightly together with no way to move them apart at all. In fact, once on it, I can’t move my feet any direction other than straight up to get off of the thing.
And yes, it definitely keeps me on my toes. With one pair of heels, the strappy ones, it’s like being in six inch heels – at least! The other pair of heels I bought have a very short rounded toe and I feel like I’m standing right on the tip of my toes. Ballet anyone?
And just as I predicted, once on the thing, my body automatically leans forward, pressing me into the corner. I tried moving it away from the wall and yes, I can stand on it that way too, but it takes a bit more work to compensate for the body trying to lean forward.
I can easily see how someone standing on it might feel like they are on display in such a position. A simple strap around the feet or ankles and the person on it is going – nowhere! They would be forced to stand right where they are, in a VERY uncomfortable and tiring position.
So all in all, I guess it’s the perfect corner torture accessory for confining someone in an out of the way corner somewhere… or a good way to keep someone in one place – possibly on display. Use your imagination.
Sorry I have no pictures yet. Pictures are on my list for next week when I’m alone a bit more. Also, I do still plan to try the perch out a bit more to “experience” it. So far, everything I’ve written about it seems to be completely accurate. Go figure!
As to my diapers… I wore one most of yesterday, since my granddaughter didn’t get here till late afternoon. I took it off just before she came, not because I was leaking, but because I realized that I smelled a bit! Ugh! Not from anything messy. I think it was mostly just me and the heat… and a bit of pee of course.
I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the recording when I went to bed last night. I should have. I meant to. Tonight I will for sure – I hope. Since my granddaughter will be gone by then and I seriously doubt I’ll be seeing my stepson who lives with me any more tonight after that, I will go back to my diapers at night again. I can’t tell you how much I prefer wetting them than getting up over and over again every night to go to the bathroom. And yes, I am on medicine for my prostate, but I still get up to pee a lot. The diapers are definitely more comfortable and convenient. Plus… I simply love it! Enough said.
Well, more tomorrow – or maybe Tuesday.
Have a good day everyone, and just on an impulse, try to kiss someone today.
Karen
Friday, August 5, 2011
Crinkle Butt
Last night after work, I went home and just put on my skirt with a t-shirt and the new three inch pumps I had. I was trying to be comfortable, even though the pumps are a bit too tight and hurt some. They did get better later in the evening though. I guess they stretched out a bit. I hope they stretch more!
I spent most of the evening doing some much needed laundry and watching a show on TV.
At bedtime I again put on my three diapers. I got into bed and turned off the light and listened to the baby behavior hypno file again. I had a hard time getting everything just right, but eventually things got better and I got into it. There is this annoying background hum in the file that I found very annoying at first and the volume wasn’t just right for some reason. But later on, I forgot about the hum and the volume seemed perfect and I did get into it. So nice! So relaxing!
Yes, my thumb made it’s way to my mouth again – sooner than before and I was really sucking on it like never before. I also found myself doing something I’ve never done before – I was rubbing the front of my diaper constantly for at least the last ten minutes of the file. Something about it was really turning me on and I couldn’t help myself. Of course, since I pull my penis back between my legs when I diaper myself, plus all those layers of thick diapers, there was no way I could get very much pleasure. But I did get some and I enjoyed it thoroughly Fun!
All night long, I found that I was peeing before I even knew I had to – most of the time anyway. Including one time when I rolled over in my sleep and suddenly realized I was absolutely gushing – with no warning at all. So nice!
As usual, when I got up this morning, my diapers weighed a ton. My routine is to go up to my office, check the internet for five minutes, then start exercising. Let me tell you, exercising with thick mega-heavy diapers makes everything much more difficult! But I persevered. I was a lot more tired than usual, but I got through it. Amazingly.
As part of my exercise routine, I usually spend about twenty five minutes walking on the treadmill every day. Very often I get hit with the urge to pee before I get finished. This morning, the urge hit me again… sort of. I realized I had a very slight urge that I was going to pee. No problem – I kept walking. But nothing happened and eventually I forgot about it completely. I forgot about it that is, until I suddenly realized that I had just finished peeing. I hadn’t realized I was doing it!
One other note about exercising in very thick diapers – the noise. Now I’ve done this before – many times, but for the last two days I’ve been amazed at how noisy my diapers seem to be as I move. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I pray that my step-son doesn’t wake up and get close enough to me to hear it!
This morning I packed kind of an emergency kit for work that is now in my car – clean pants and several pull-up style diapers. Yes, I’m again wearing a pull-up diaper under my regular underwear at work – mostly because I was again worried that I might have an accident. So far – no worries. I did a bit of experimenting last night and I was amazed at how much I was able to pee into one of these things last night before it leaked. So I feel a bit more confident about it than yesterday. Still, it never hurts to be careful.
What kind of things am I considering next? Um….
I’m considering trying to build myself a perch – just to try it out and see what it’s really like. I have confirmation that the thing really works like I thought it would, but experiencing it is something else.
And then… I’m also considering trying out my idea of getting a diaper to leak in the two hour time limit. But there are problems there. First of all, other than the fact that I’d really like to see if I can do it, I have nothing to give me an incentive to try harder if I’m not making it. No consequences. If I can’t do it the first day, then I’d probably like to try it again the next, but without the incentive of the consequence, why should I bother to push myself harder? And I don’t know that I trust myself to punish myself very hard at all. That’s the problem with being alone in this.
Anyway, my house will probably be filled with granddaughters all weekend. I’m still going to try to wear the pull-up style diapers under my clothes all weekend – and will probably try using them too. I’ll have to let you know how it goes.
Do something fun today,
Karen
I spent most of the evening doing some much needed laundry and watching a show on TV.
At bedtime I again put on my three diapers. I got into bed and turned off the light and listened to the baby behavior hypno file again. I had a hard time getting everything just right, but eventually things got better and I got into it. There is this annoying background hum in the file that I found very annoying at first and the volume wasn’t just right for some reason. But later on, I forgot about the hum and the volume seemed perfect and I did get into it. So nice! So relaxing!
Yes, my thumb made it’s way to my mouth again – sooner than before and I was really sucking on it like never before. I also found myself doing something I’ve never done before – I was rubbing the front of my diaper constantly for at least the last ten minutes of the file. Something about it was really turning me on and I couldn’t help myself. Of course, since I pull my penis back between my legs when I diaper myself, plus all those layers of thick diapers, there was no way I could get very much pleasure. But I did get some and I enjoyed it thoroughly Fun!
All night long, I found that I was peeing before I even knew I had to – most of the time anyway. Including one time when I rolled over in my sleep and suddenly realized I was absolutely gushing – with no warning at all. So nice!
As usual, when I got up this morning, my diapers weighed a ton. My routine is to go up to my office, check the internet for five minutes, then start exercising. Let me tell you, exercising with thick mega-heavy diapers makes everything much more difficult! But I persevered. I was a lot more tired than usual, but I got through it. Amazingly.
As part of my exercise routine, I usually spend about twenty five minutes walking on the treadmill every day. Very often I get hit with the urge to pee before I get finished. This morning, the urge hit me again… sort of. I realized I had a very slight urge that I was going to pee. No problem – I kept walking. But nothing happened and eventually I forgot about it completely. I forgot about it that is, until I suddenly realized that I had just finished peeing. I hadn’t realized I was doing it!
One other note about exercising in very thick diapers – the noise. Now I’ve done this before – many times, but for the last two days I’ve been amazed at how noisy my diapers seem to be as I move. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I pray that my step-son doesn’t wake up and get close enough to me to hear it!
This morning I packed kind of an emergency kit for work that is now in my car – clean pants and several pull-up style diapers. Yes, I’m again wearing a pull-up diaper under my regular underwear at work – mostly because I was again worried that I might have an accident. So far – no worries. I did a bit of experimenting last night and I was amazed at how much I was able to pee into one of these things last night before it leaked. So I feel a bit more confident about it than yesterday. Still, it never hurts to be careful.
What kind of things am I considering next? Um….
I’m considering trying to build myself a perch – just to try it out and see what it’s really like. I have confirmation that the thing really works like I thought it would, but experiencing it is something else.
And then… I’m also considering trying out my idea of getting a diaper to leak in the two hour time limit. But there are problems there. First of all, other than the fact that I’d really like to see if I can do it, I have nothing to give me an incentive to try harder if I’m not making it. No consequences. If I can’t do it the first day, then I’d probably like to try it again the next, but without the incentive of the consequence, why should I bother to push myself harder? And I don’t know that I trust myself to punish myself very hard at all. That’s the problem with being alone in this.
Anyway, my house will probably be filled with granddaughters all weekend. I’m still going to try to wear the pull-up style diapers under my clothes all weekend – and will probably try using them too. I’ll have to let you know how it goes.
Do something fun today,
Karen
The Bet - Chapter 40 (Wednesday – week 6 Part 6 of 6)
The Bet
by Karen Singer
Chapter 40 (Wednesday – week 6 Part 6 of 6)
As Chad climbed up into his highchair, he was so hungry that all he could think about was what she was going to make him eat for dinner. There were plenty of leftovers from what he had cooked, and he had even made a plate for himself and put it in the refrigerator like she – used to – demand. He had to wait while she put the tray in place, locking him into the chair, and then while she tied the bib around his neck. He was overjoyed to see her going to the refrigerator. He was less thrilled to see her pull out another baby bottle. But then she reached in again and brought out the plate he had put in there. Yes! He was less thrilled when she opened the cabinet and started looking through all the jars of baby food she had. He watched as she pulled a few down to look closer at the labels. Some she put back into the cabinet, others she set on the counter. Obviously, she was going to give him a mix of good food and baby food again. But at least he would be getting something decent to eat too.
He watched as Mel pulled out another of his silly childish plastic plates again to put his food onto. He watched as she began dumping jar after jar of the baby food out onto the plate… filling the plate. And he watched as she picked up one of his tiny baby spoons along with the plate of baby food. And then she totally ignored the plate of really good food that he had prepared and carried the plate full of nothing but baby food to him and set it down on his tray in front of him. What about the good food that he had prepared? Why couldn’t he eat that? It was right there on the counter? She could have just picked it up and given it to him! He was tired of baby food! And… he was so hungry!
Mel loved the totally crestfallen look on his face as she set the dish full of baby food in front of him. He still hadn’t moved to eat it when she set the full baby bottle on his tray as well. He just looked up at her with a hurt look on his face. “You better eat it up,” she told him, “because that’s all you’re getting.”
Chad still couldn’t seem to bring himself to pick up the tiny spoon to begin eating. All he could do was watch as Mel picked up his plate full of good food from the counter… and dumped it all into the trash. It wasn’t till then that he reluctantly picked up the spoon, in his left fist like he was supposed to, and began eating.
Mel didn’t even try to hide the sly smile on her face as she had dumped his food into the trash. She was very much aware of how little he was probably eating, but she figured that another night of baby food for dinner wouldn’t hurt him. They would be eating out in restaurants for the next few nights, Sunday night too, for that matter. No, one more night of baby food wouldn’t hurt him at all. Besides, he did have to maintain his ‘girlish’ figure. She almost laughed at that… till she remembered that he had lost so much weight now that his figure really was starting to look girlish. Astonishingly so! But then wasn’t that kind of like denying him his male body shape too?
She poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and sat down at the table to watch him eating. Enjoying once again how babyish he looked as he ate now – despite the fact that he seemed to be spilling less and actually getting much more of it into his mouth. She could tell he wasn’t the least bit happy about eating the baby food instead of anything better. But he’d just have to live with it. She was rather enjoying the situation.
But that thought reminded her of what Gloria had said – she was enjoying it, but what about him? What about his feelings? Gloria had said she should talk to him about it… that it was important. But was it? Was it really? She supposed that it was, but… but… but she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know what he thought. Besides, the terms of the bet spelled out all too clearly that what he thought didn’t matter in the least. But… but… something in the back of her mind told her that somehow things had begun to go beyond the simple terms of the bet. And for whatever reasons, his thoughts and feelings had to matter too. Fortunately or unfortunately.
But did she really have to know what he thought? She thought about that very thing for a few minutes. She had plans. She had goals. And every one of them depended on him! But again, did she really need to know how he felt? She knew she didn’t want to ask him – not at all. Or was it… that she was afraid to ask him. Unfortunately, that was the real problem right there. She was afraid to ask… afraid to know.
She had done things with him lately… No! She had done things ‘to’ him lately… horrible things – to most men. Unimaginable things – to most men. Painful things – to most men. Unbelievably humiliating things – again, to most men. But he wasn’t most men. He was a sissy. And he was her sissy. But would he stay her sissy?
The terms of the bet said so! The terms said he had to stay her sissy – like it or not! So did it matter what he thought? No! Did it matter what he felt? No! Nothing mattered except what she wanted! And she was going to win this bet – no matter what!
“Sissy,” she started tentatively. “I know we’ve had this little talk once before, but that was a while ago. I guess I need to know… How am I doing? Am I satisfying your sissy needs? Am I fulfilling your dreams?”
Chad was almost done with the food on his plate. He was for once fairly proud of how little a mess he had managed to make this time. But her questions caught him totally off guard. He was so surprised that she had even asked. It seemed to be such a serious question that he asked in his sissy voice, “Can I speak in my normal voice?”
“No! You can’t!”
He shook his head. “Don’t ask then.”
It wasn’t the fact that he had refused to answer that bothered her. It was everything that was implied by the tone of his voice. And that failure bothered her to her very core. Somewhat angry, just as much at herself as with him. She got up from her seat and strode into the living room, leaving him behind in the kitchen alone. She sat down in one of her chairs. She should never have asked. She never needed to ask in the first place! Asking had been a big mistake! Now she was angry at him… and herself. Damn it!
She closed her eyes. She wanted to cry. Instead, she got up and went back to the kitchen. He was watching her intently as he tried to get the last little bits of the baby food off of his plate – with his fingers instead of the little spoon. The action looked more infantile than ever… but it brought her no enjoyment at all. She picked up her coffee cup and took it back to the pot to warm it up. She took a sip. Then she went straight back to the table and sat down again. She didn’t have to ask him anything at all! It wasn’t necessary! All that mattered was what she thought – nothing else! “Okay. Just for the next few minutes – and that’s all! You can talk in your normal voice.”
Chad had been licking the remnants of the baby food off of his fingers when she said that. It wasn’t that the baby food was that good – it wasn’t! It was just that he was so hungry. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth and stared at her, surprised at her change of attitude. “What is it you want to know?”
Mel shook her head. “I don’t really know! Are you satisfied with the things I make you do? Does any of it still fulfill your silly stupid fantasies? Am I fulfilling all your wildly warped needs? Am I… Am I…” She stopped right there. In a softer tone of voice, she braved the real question. “How do you feel about… me?”
That one surprised Chad even more. How did he feel about her? He wasn’t really sure he knew what he thought about her. There were all too many things to consider about that! “Is anything I say going to make any difference at all in the way you treat me? Or the things you make me do? Or have any effect on how much you punish me? Or change anything at all about how you’re approaching me and the bet?”
This time, it was her turn to be surprised… again. She seriously considered his question for a moment, then reluctantly shook her head. Probably not… Definitely not! I can’t chance it! I have to win this bet! I’ll do whatever I must to win. You know that. I can’t back down in the least now. Especially not now. Not when there is so little time left.” She looked away for a moment then back at him again. “I do care about you though. You have to know that.” Why had she said that?
He nodded. His question had been worth the shot. And she cared? He was hungry damn it! He needed more food! Better food! “You have a funny way of showing it.” He replied a he stared at his now empty plate. “And I guess then that anything I say doesn’t really matter at all. So why ask?”
She wasn’t sure if his question stung her or not. The odd thing was that it really didn’t surprise her. Hadn’t she been wondering the same thing? Why had she even bothered to ask? She got up from the table. “No more male voice – ever!” she told him in no uncertain terms.
She wasn’t sure if she felt angry, or not. She wasn’t happy, she knew that. She roughly untied his bib and used it to wipe his face and hands, then she cleared his things off of the tray and removed it. “Clean this kitchen up!” she ordered. Then she left him alone again. She went directly into the living room where she turned the TV on and tried to watch it, but the reality was, she had no idea what was playing on the screen at all.
She was totally justified in the way she treated him. Totally! She didn’t have to change anything. He had no say in anything! Nothing that he thought mattered at all! Nothing! All that mattered was winning the bet! Nothing else! Once she won, that would be it! He would be bound to her for a full year after that. And beyond that? Well, she’d work that out when it happened. Either way, he wasn’t going anywhere! And what he thought didn’t matter in the least! She had a funny way of showing that she cared?
Damn him!
Chad wasn’t sure what had gotten into Mel, but he did realize that he had just made a big mistake. He should never have answered like he did! Never! Now he had just made things worse on himself than ever. Of that he had no doubt. All he had to do was to look at the way she was acting to see that. And then… then… then there was the way he felt too. He felt bad because he hadn’t answered decently.
But then, how did he feel about her? The question was way too complicated. There was no easy quick answer. On the one hand, he was scared of her – very! Yet on the other hand, she was fulfilling all of his dreams – and then some! Yet on the other hand… on the other hand? On the other hand he worshiped her. Yes, something within him worshiped the ground she walked on. Maybe it was because she was fulfilling his wildest fantasies – and then some. Maybe because, even though he had never seen her naked, she had allowed him to feel her body – all over. He, a stupid sissy, had been allowed to hold her naked body next to his… to caress her… to make her feel happy – even though he himself got nothing at all out of it – no sexual pleasure anyway. But that was another matter!
So what was his real answer? How did he feel about her? The truth was, the answer was way too complicated to put into words. And there it was. The real truth. It was… complicated.
Despite his better judgment, he went directly into the living room… and curtseyed. “Mistress?”
“What is it? Are you finished in the kitchen?”
“Not yet.”
“Are you leaking?”
“No yet. I…”
“Then what do you want?”
Chad almost left. Obviously, she was still in a bad mood. He supposed he was lucky that she didn’t beat him half to death – yet. “I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I answered.”
She looked up at him. “It doesn’t matter!”
“But I don’t want to make you angry!”
“I’m not angry!”
Chad was surprised to hear that. She certainly was acting like she was angry. But then he remembered that his wife… make that ex-wife… had often done the same thing – said she wasn’t angry when she was actually furious. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry. The truth is, that the way I feel about you is complicated… very complicated. I’m not even sure I can put it into words.”
“Don’t bother trying. Just go finish cleaning the kitchen. And when you get that part done, start some laundry. I’m watching TV.”
Chad knew when to leave it alone. “Yes, Mistress,” he said with a sigh. He curtseyed and walked off quietly. Sometimes, the best thing you can do, is to do nothing at all.
Mel stared at the TV set without seeing it. He was sorry? It was complicated? Men! They never know how to express their feelings. All of them are nothing but unfeeling idiots! Well, Sissy certainly deserved every bit of the humiliation she was capable of dishing out. Every bit!
He was sorry? Damn it! Did he have to try to be so nice about it? Damn him!
Chad tiptoed around the house as he continued to clean – as far away from her as possible. He even worried about the sound the washer and dryer made as he ran them. But the only thing Mel ever did was to look in his direction as the sound of the washer started – and then she went back to watching the TV show again. As he worked, he drank furiously on his bottles, trying desperately to get his diaper leaking on time. And fortunately, he was rewarded for his effort. He certainly didn’t have much time left, but he did make it on time! He hurried into the living room and curtseyed politely again. “Mistress, I’m leaking,” he said softly.
Mel had been staring mindlessly at the TV for a while, then somehow, she had actually gotten caught up in the movie and was enjoying it. He was leaking? She checked the clock. Well, she supposed he better be leaking! Much of the anger that she swore she had never felt had melted away. Calm reasoning returned. She stared at Sissy. So nice in his uniform. So rewarding. The perfect servant. And, dare she say it, he really did fulfill many of her needs. Many very intimate needs too. If it hadn’t been at the height of her period just then, she would have let him satisfy a few of those intimate needs. But unfortunately…
As she stared at him, reminding herself of all the many ways he pleased her, she saw the nervousness cloud his face again. And then he curtseyed for her again… and nothing else. Something about his curtsey made her swoon inside a bit. She just loved seeing him do that! In spite of the way she really felt, a smile came to her lips. “Go grab a bunch of stuff to protect the bed, Sissy. Let’s get you changed.”
The smile and tone of her voice felt like heaven to Sissy who was worried beyond belief about what she might do. And worse, he was still mad at himself for upsetting her. He hated upsetting her, not because she might punish him, but because… he just hated doing it! He curtseyed again. “Yes, Mistress.” Then he ran off to grab some diapers to protect her bed. Protect her bed? That was different… a little.
While Chad was laying out diapers and towels to protect her mattress, Mel went to her desk drawer and pulled out her collection of ropes. A few minutes later, she had him thoroughly tied spread eagled to her bed. Knowing that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he couldn’t touch himself if he tried, she began removing his sodden diaper. A moment later, his chastity device was on full display.
She looked at his little penis inside the device carefully. It looked just as tiny and… lifeless as ever. Pathetic! But that was exactly what she wanted it to look like. Especially since she was denying him any feeling from the stupid thing at all. She unlocked the device and began taking it apart – piece by piece. Once his little penis was free, she looked closely at it again. Free of the plastic containment, she could see it better – but it didn’t look any better, not at all! Perfect! Pulling his sodden diaper back up over him – just in case – she carried all the pieces of his chastity device out to the kitchen where she washed them thoroughly.
Chad tried to stretch a bit, just to move a little from the position he was stuck in, but he couldn’t move hardly at all. He had felt – delicious cold air on his wanting member for just an all too brief moment. As he laid there, he tried to remember that wonderful feeling, tried to relive it. Fantasy! Wonderful fantasy! Feeling anything other than the hot unyielding confines of the chastity device had become a very rare experience now. He realized that he would get to feel that bit of fresh air again as soon as Mel came back. Unfortunately, he knew that the feeling would be all too brief once again. But still, he was looking forward to it.
Why couldn’t she have simply left his diaper down, exposing him completely? Then he would be able to enjoy the feeling of open air on that little piece of his body the whole time she was gone. Unfortunately, he knew the answer to that question all too well. It was because she couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t start wetting all over the place while she was gone. Unfortunately, he knew that she was right to think that. It was a disturbing thought because it was a sign of the progress she had made on him toward the bet.
He watched as she came back into the room. He enjoyed the intense pleasure as she wiped him clean, then shaved the few stray hairs that she found. The open air felt even better then. He enjoyed even more as she spread some kind of lotion all over that part of him, protecting everything down there from the confines of the plastic prison.
He didn’t enjoy it as she started to reassemble the device once again – on him. Each added piece brought its own measure of disappointment and misery. Till with one final click, the lock was closed again, and he was imprisoned once again. It was a miserable feeling.
Mel looked down at him with a feeling of satisfaction the minute his chastity device was locked on again. There was no way he was going to get hard again now… not that he had been able to before. She just didn’t want to take any chances. She toyed with the thought of playing with his backside a bit, forcing one of the toys in and out of him. But that brought him too much pleasure… and if she couldn’t get any tonight, then he wasn’t going to get any either! Instead, she untied his legs and rolled him over, and shoved another suppository up inside of him – instead of anything that might bring him pleasure. She rolled him back over onto his back again and left him – to find a stack of his oversized super think diapers.
Chad was a bit surprised when he realized that Mel was diapering him for the night. Three of the super thick diapers that she had gotten for him added a huge amount of bulk between his legs – which he really kind of enjoyed. It was almost as much of a struggle for him as it was for Mel as she pulled and worked to get them into place and especially as she tried to get the diaper pins through all of it. But as usual, she finally got it. A pair of plastic panties stretched tightly over top of the bulk made him feel secure – safe. Only then did she release him from his bonds.
“Go home now, Sissy. I know you didn’t get much sleep last night. Don’t forget to clean your earrings and don’t forget all your bottles before you go to sleep. I’ll be in later to leave you a note.”
Chad tried to curtsey… to thank her, but his curtsey was extra awkward in the super think diapers he was wearing. “Thank you, Mistress. I am really tired.”
She nodded. “Good night, Sissy.” From where she stood in her bedroom, she watched as he gathered up all his things. Then, clad only in his bra covering his glued on breasts, his waist cincher, his super thick diapers with plastic panties over top, and his shoes, he went out her door to his own apartment.
She stared at her open bedroom doorway for a few moments after she heard her apartment door closing. How could he possible think that she didn’t care? Couldn’t he tell that everything… all of it… was for him? For his fantasies? To fulfill all of his needs? She cared a tremendous amount!
How could he possibly think that she didn’t care?
by Karen Singer
Chapter 40 (Wednesday – week 6 Part 6 of 6)
As Chad climbed up into his highchair, he was so hungry that all he could think about was what she was going to make him eat for dinner. There were plenty of leftovers from what he had cooked, and he had even made a plate for himself and put it in the refrigerator like she – used to – demand. He had to wait while she put the tray in place, locking him into the chair, and then while she tied the bib around his neck. He was overjoyed to see her going to the refrigerator. He was less thrilled to see her pull out another baby bottle. But then she reached in again and brought out the plate he had put in there. Yes! He was less thrilled when she opened the cabinet and started looking through all the jars of baby food she had. He watched as she pulled a few down to look closer at the labels. Some she put back into the cabinet, others she set on the counter. Obviously, she was going to give him a mix of good food and baby food again. But at least he would be getting something decent to eat too.
He watched as Mel pulled out another of his silly childish plastic plates again to put his food onto. He watched as she began dumping jar after jar of the baby food out onto the plate… filling the plate. And he watched as she picked up one of his tiny baby spoons along with the plate of baby food. And then she totally ignored the plate of really good food that he had prepared and carried the plate full of nothing but baby food to him and set it down on his tray in front of him. What about the good food that he had prepared? Why couldn’t he eat that? It was right there on the counter? She could have just picked it up and given it to him! He was tired of baby food! And… he was so hungry!
Mel loved the totally crestfallen look on his face as she set the dish full of baby food in front of him. He still hadn’t moved to eat it when she set the full baby bottle on his tray as well. He just looked up at her with a hurt look on his face. “You better eat it up,” she told him, “because that’s all you’re getting.”
Chad still couldn’t seem to bring himself to pick up the tiny spoon to begin eating. All he could do was watch as Mel picked up his plate full of good food from the counter… and dumped it all into the trash. It wasn’t till then that he reluctantly picked up the spoon, in his left fist like he was supposed to, and began eating.
Mel didn’t even try to hide the sly smile on her face as she had dumped his food into the trash. She was very much aware of how little he was probably eating, but she figured that another night of baby food for dinner wouldn’t hurt him. They would be eating out in restaurants for the next few nights, Sunday night too, for that matter. No, one more night of baby food wouldn’t hurt him at all. Besides, he did have to maintain his ‘girlish’ figure. She almost laughed at that… till she remembered that he had lost so much weight now that his figure really was starting to look girlish. Astonishingly so! But then wasn’t that kind of like denying him his male body shape too?
She poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and sat down at the table to watch him eating. Enjoying once again how babyish he looked as he ate now – despite the fact that he seemed to be spilling less and actually getting much more of it into his mouth. She could tell he wasn’t the least bit happy about eating the baby food instead of anything better. But he’d just have to live with it. She was rather enjoying the situation.
But that thought reminded her of what Gloria had said – she was enjoying it, but what about him? What about his feelings? Gloria had said she should talk to him about it… that it was important. But was it? Was it really? She supposed that it was, but… but… but she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know what he thought. Besides, the terms of the bet spelled out all too clearly that what he thought didn’t matter in the least. But… but… something in the back of her mind told her that somehow things had begun to go beyond the simple terms of the bet. And for whatever reasons, his thoughts and feelings had to matter too. Fortunately or unfortunately.
But did she really have to know what he thought? She thought about that very thing for a few minutes. She had plans. She had goals. And every one of them depended on him! But again, did she really need to know how he felt? She knew she didn’t want to ask him – not at all. Or was it… that she was afraid to ask him. Unfortunately, that was the real problem right there. She was afraid to ask… afraid to know.
She had done things with him lately… No! She had done things ‘to’ him lately… horrible things – to most men. Unimaginable things – to most men. Painful things – to most men. Unbelievably humiliating things – again, to most men. But he wasn’t most men. He was a sissy. And he was her sissy. But would he stay her sissy?
The terms of the bet said so! The terms said he had to stay her sissy – like it or not! So did it matter what he thought? No! Did it matter what he felt? No! Nothing mattered except what she wanted! And she was going to win this bet – no matter what!
“Sissy,” she started tentatively. “I know we’ve had this little talk once before, but that was a while ago. I guess I need to know… How am I doing? Am I satisfying your sissy needs? Am I fulfilling your dreams?”
Chad was almost done with the food on his plate. He was for once fairly proud of how little a mess he had managed to make this time. But her questions caught him totally off guard. He was so surprised that she had even asked. It seemed to be such a serious question that he asked in his sissy voice, “Can I speak in my normal voice?”
“No! You can’t!”
He shook his head. “Don’t ask then.”
It wasn’t the fact that he had refused to answer that bothered her. It was everything that was implied by the tone of his voice. And that failure bothered her to her very core. Somewhat angry, just as much at herself as with him. She got up from her seat and strode into the living room, leaving him behind in the kitchen alone. She sat down in one of her chairs. She should never have asked. She never needed to ask in the first place! Asking had been a big mistake! Now she was angry at him… and herself. Damn it!
She closed her eyes. She wanted to cry. Instead, she got up and went back to the kitchen. He was watching her intently as he tried to get the last little bits of the baby food off of his plate – with his fingers instead of the little spoon. The action looked more infantile than ever… but it brought her no enjoyment at all. She picked up her coffee cup and took it back to the pot to warm it up. She took a sip. Then she went straight back to the table and sat down again. She didn’t have to ask him anything at all! It wasn’t necessary! All that mattered was what she thought – nothing else! “Okay. Just for the next few minutes – and that’s all! You can talk in your normal voice.”
Chad had been licking the remnants of the baby food off of his fingers when she said that. It wasn’t that the baby food was that good – it wasn’t! It was just that he was so hungry. He pulled his fingers out of his mouth and stared at her, surprised at her change of attitude. “What is it you want to know?”
Mel shook her head. “I don’t really know! Are you satisfied with the things I make you do? Does any of it still fulfill your silly stupid fantasies? Am I fulfilling all your wildly warped needs? Am I… Am I…” She stopped right there. In a softer tone of voice, she braved the real question. “How do you feel about… me?”
That one surprised Chad even more. How did he feel about her? He wasn’t really sure he knew what he thought about her. There were all too many things to consider about that! “Is anything I say going to make any difference at all in the way you treat me? Or the things you make me do? Or have any effect on how much you punish me? Or change anything at all about how you’re approaching me and the bet?”
This time, it was her turn to be surprised… again. She seriously considered his question for a moment, then reluctantly shook her head. Probably not… Definitely not! I can’t chance it! I have to win this bet! I’ll do whatever I must to win. You know that. I can’t back down in the least now. Especially not now. Not when there is so little time left.” She looked away for a moment then back at him again. “I do care about you though. You have to know that.” Why had she said that?
He nodded. His question had been worth the shot. And she cared? He was hungry damn it! He needed more food! Better food! “You have a funny way of showing it.” He replied a he stared at his now empty plate. “And I guess then that anything I say doesn’t really matter at all. So why ask?”
She wasn’t sure if his question stung her or not. The odd thing was that it really didn’t surprise her. Hadn’t she been wondering the same thing? Why had she even bothered to ask? She got up from the table. “No more male voice – ever!” she told him in no uncertain terms.
She wasn’t sure if she felt angry, or not. She wasn’t happy, she knew that. She roughly untied his bib and used it to wipe his face and hands, then she cleared his things off of the tray and removed it. “Clean this kitchen up!” she ordered. Then she left him alone again. She went directly into the living room where she turned the TV on and tried to watch it, but the reality was, she had no idea what was playing on the screen at all.
She was totally justified in the way she treated him. Totally! She didn’t have to change anything. He had no say in anything! Nothing that he thought mattered at all! Nothing! All that mattered was winning the bet! Nothing else! Once she won, that would be it! He would be bound to her for a full year after that. And beyond that? Well, she’d work that out when it happened. Either way, he wasn’t going anywhere! And what he thought didn’t matter in the least! She had a funny way of showing that she cared?
Damn him!
Chad wasn’t sure what had gotten into Mel, but he did realize that he had just made a big mistake. He should never have answered like he did! Never! Now he had just made things worse on himself than ever. Of that he had no doubt. All he had to do was to look at the way she was acting to see that. And then… then… then there was the way he felt too. He felt bad because he hadn’t answered decently.
But then, how did he feel about her? The question was way too complicated. There was no easy quick answer. On the one hand, he was scared of her – very! Yet on the other hand, she was fulfilling all of his dreams – and then some! Yet on the other hand… on the other hand? On the other hand he worshiped her. Yes, something within him worshiped the ground she walked on. Maybe it was because she was fulfilling his wildest fantasies – and then some. Maybe because, even though he had never seen her naked, she had allowed him to feel her body – all over. He, a stupid sissy, had been allowed to hold her naked body next to his… to caress her… to make her feel happy – even though he himself got nothing at all out of it – no sexual pleasure anyway. But that was another matter!
So what was his real answer? How did he feel about her? The truth was, the answer was way too complicated to put into words. And there it was. The real truth. It was… complicated.
Despite his better judgment, he went directly into the living room… and curtseyed. “Mistress?”
“What is it? Are you finished in the kitchen?”
“Not yet.”
“Are you leaking?”
“No yet. I…”
“Then what do you want?”
Chad almost left. Obviously, she was still in a bad mood. He supposed he was lucky that she didn’t beat him half to death – yet. “I… I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the way I answered.”
She looked up at him. “It doesn’t matter!”
“But I don’t want to make you angry!”
“I’m not angry!”
Chad was surprised to hear that. She certainly was acting like she was angry. But then he remembered that his wife… make that ex-wife… had often done the same thing – said she wasn’t angry when she was actually furious. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry. The truth is, that the way I feel about you is complicated… very complicated. I’m not even sure I can put it into words.”
“Don’t bother trying. Just go finish cleaning the kitchen. And when you get that part done, start some laundry. I’m watching TV.”
Chad knew when to leave it alone. “Yes, Mistress,” he said with a sigh. He curtseyed and walked off quietly. Sometimes, the best thing you can do, is to do nothing at all.
Mel stared at the TV set without seeing it. He was sorry? It was complicated? Men! They never know how to express their feelings. All of them are nothing but unfeeling idiots! Well, Sissy certainly deserved every bit of the humiliation she was capable of dishing out. Every bit!
He was sorry? Damn it! Did he have to try to be so nice about it? Damn him!
Chad tiptoed around the house as he continued to clean – as far away from her as possible. He even worried about the sound the washer and dryer made as he ran them. But the only thing Mel ever did was to look in his direction as the sound of the washer started – and then she went back to watching the TV show again. As he worked, he drank furiously on his bottles, trying desperately to get his diaper leaking on time. And fortunately, he was rewarded for his effort. He certainly didn’t have much time left, but he did make it on time! He hurried into the living room and curtseyed politely again. “Mistress, I’m leaking,” he said softly.
Mel had been staring mindlessly at the TV for a while, then somehow, she had actually gotten caught up in the movie and was enjoying it. He was leaking? She checked the clock. Well, she supposed he better be leaking! Much of the anger that she swore she had never felt had melted away. Calm reasoning returned. She stared at Sissy. So nice in his uniform. So rewarding. The perfect servant. And, dare she say it, he really did fulfill many of her needs. Many very intimate needs too. If it hadn’t been at the height of her period just then, she would have let him satisfy a few of those intimate needs. But unfortunately…
As she stared at him, reminding herself of all the many ways he pleased her, she saw the nervousness cloud his face again. And then he curtseyed for her again… and nothing else. Something about his curtsey made her swoon inside a bit. She just loved seeing him do that! In spite of the way she really felt, a smile came to her lips. “Go grab a bunch of stuff to protect the bed, Sissy. Let’s get you changed.”
The smile and tone of her voice felt like heaven to Sissy who was worried beyond belief about what she might do. And worse, he was still mad at himself for upsetting her. He hated upsetting her, not because she might punish him, but because… he just hated doing it! He curtseyed again. “Yes, Mistress.” Then he ran off to grab some diapers to protect her bed. Protect her bed? That was different… a little.
While Chad was laying out diapers and towels to protect her mattress, Mel went to her desk drawer and pulled out her collection of ropes. A few minutes later, she had him thoroughly tied spread eagled to her bed. Knowing that he wasn’t going anywhere and that he couldn’t touch himself if he tried, she began removing his sodden diaper. A moment later, his chastity device was on full display.
She looked at his little penis inside the device carefully. It looked just as tiny and… lifeless as ever. Pathetic! But that was exactly what she wanted it to look like. Especially since she was denying him any feeling from the stupid thing at all. She unlocked the device and began taking it apart – piece by piece. Once his little penis was free, she looked closely at it again. Free of the plastic containment, she could see it better – but it didn’t look any better, not at all! Perfect! Pulling his sodden diaper back up over him – just in case – she carried all the pieces of his chastity device out to the kitchen where she washed them thoroughly.
Chad tried to stretch a bit, just to move a little from the position he was stuck in, but he couldn’t move hardly at all. He had felt – delicious cold air on his wanting member for just an all too brief moment. As he laid there, he tried to remember that wonderful feeling, tried to relive it. Fantasy! Wonderful fantasy! Feeling anything other than the hot unyielding confines of the chastity device had become a very rare experience now. He realized that he would get to feel that bit of fresh air again as soon as Mel came back. Unfortunately, he knew that the feeling would be all too brief once again. But still, he was looking forward to it.
Why couldn’t she have simply left his diaper down, exposing him completely? Then he would be able to enjoy the feeling of open air on that little piece of his body the whole time she was gone. Unfortunately, he knew the answer to that question all too well. It was because she couldn’t be sure that he wouldn’t start wetting all over the place while she was gone. Unfortunately, he knew that she was right to think that. It was a disturbing thought because it was a sign of the progress she had made on him toward the bet.
He watched as she came back into the room. He enjoyed the intense pleasure as she wiped him clean, then shaved the few stray hairs that she found. The open air felt even better then. He enjoyed even more as she spread some kind of lotion all over that part of him, protecting everything down there from the confines of the plastic prison.
He didn’t enjoy it as she started to reassemble the device once again – on him. Each added piece brought its own measure of disappointment and misery. Till with one final click, the lock was closed again, and he was imprisoned once again. It was a miserable feeling.
Mel looked down at him with a feeling of satisfaction the minute his chastity device was locked on again. There was no way he was going to get hard again now… not that he had been able to before. She just didn’t want to take any chances. She toyed with the thought of playing with his backside a bit, forcing one of the toys in and out of him. But that brought him too much pleasure… and if she couldn’t get any tonight, then he wasn’t going to get any either! Instead, she untied his legs and rolled him over, and shoved another suppository up inside of him – instead of anything that might bring him pleasure. She rolled him back over onto his back again and left him – to find a stack of his oversized super think diapers.
Chad was a bit surprised when he realized that Mel was diapering him for the night. Three of the super thick diapers that she had gotten for him added a huge amount of bulk between his legs – which he really kind of enjoyed. It was almost as much of a struggle for him as it was for Mel as she pulled and worked to get them into place and especially as she tried to get the diaper pins through all of it. But as usual, she finally got it. A pair of plastic panties stretched tightly over top of the bulk made him feel secure – safe. Only then did she release him from his bonds.
“Go home now, Sissy. I know you didn’t get much sleep last night. Don’t forget to clean your earrings and don’t forget all your bottles before you go to sleep. I’ll be in later to leave you a note.”
Chad tried to curtsey… to thank her, but his curtsey was extra awkward in the super think diapers he was wearing. “Thank you, Mistress. I am really tired.”
She nodded. “Good night, Sissy.” From where she stood in her bedroom, she watched as he gathered up all his things. Then, clad only in his bra covering his glued on breasts, his waist cincher, his super thick diapers with plastic panties over top, and his shoes, he went out her door to his own apartment.
She stared at her open bedroom doorway for a few moments after she heard her apartment door closing. How could he possible think that she didn’t care? Couldn’t he tell that everything… all of it… was for him? For his fantasies? To fulfill all of his needs? She cared a tremendous amount!
How could he possibly think that she didn’t care?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Semi Adventuring
Surprise! My wife took off yesterday to visit with her mother in Louisiana again, leaving me “semi” alone for the next few weeks. I say “semi” because my step son is still in the house. But his work schedule is so opposite mine that we only see each other on the weekends. So I’ve decided to “play” a little bit again. I just need to be very careful.
Anyway, after work yesterday, I went out and bought two new pairs of heels, a short little skirt, and, of course, diapers. The shoe shopping was very interesting. I’m usually very nervous about doing it, but this time, even with a store full of people, I went in and wandered up and down the aisles, looking the shoes over carefully. I even picked some up, then went back and forth to compare several. I totally forgot to be nervous about it after the first few minutes – believe it or not! And low and behold… I found the absolute perfect pair of strappy heels on their super cheap sale rack! And I love them! Okay, they have a super high heel – which I love, but I noticed last night that after wearing them for several hours, the area under the ball of my foot was starting to give me a lot of pain. Ouch! But I kept them on. They’re the first set of strappy heels I’ve ever owned that I could stand to wear at all. Usually, it’s the straps that hurt me, not the heel. But this time the straps were wonderful, and the height of the heel became my nemesis. But they won’t defeat me! I love them too much!
The skirt that I bought is very short… and very stretchy. I was very surprised at how the thing kept riding up with the least little bit of movement. Climbing stairs was a real eye opening experience as each step up forced it higher and higher. I had to constantly pull it down all night long since it was so short that it kept exposing my diaper underneath. Not very modest or ladylike at all! (But fun!)
I spent the evening wearing one diaper under my very short skirt and wetting it fairly often, trying very hard to not control myself at all. It still amazes me how after so long between play sessions, my body almost automatically responds. It wasn’t long before trying hard became not having to try at all.
Just before bed, I put on my usual three disposable diapers. Then I got into bed and listened to two of the hypnotic files I purchased some time ago from Warp My Mind. The files are very, very similar. The only real difference between them is that the second file is longer, encompassing everything in the first file plus a bit more. The first file is supposed to induce incontinence while the second file not only does that but also starts to instill a few baby behaviors.
I must have been in just the right mood to listen last night. In the past, I’ve fallen asleep just listening to the second one alone. But I really enjoyed listening to both of them, one right after the other last night. And the results? Wow! Okay, I don’t really think I’ve ever been actually hypnotized, but after listening to both of these and relaxing so totally, I found myself wetting in bed all night long with little to no warning. Somewhere about three quarters of the way through the second file my thumb found its way into my mouth again (it’s done that to me before). Several times during the night I was tempted to stick it back into my mouth again, once I actually did for a few moments, then I pulled it out again. I’m not that fond of sucking my thumb. I prefer a pacifier, but I don’t have one right now.
I wet myself a lot during the night – an awful lot. Totally uncontrolled and totally pleasurable. I loved it! I kept my soaked diapers on till I got my shower for work this morning. Now, at work, I’m wearing a pull up kind of diaper under my underwear just because I’m still in that kind of state where I’m a bit worried about accidents – at least I was that way when I left for work. It’s all kind of worn off now – but I’m still enjoying the bulk of the thing between my legs here at work.
My intention for tonight is to listen to the second file again before I go to bed. I wonder how many nights in a row I can manage to listen to the thing (it’s awfully long).
Anyway… I’ll try to do some pictures of my shoes (one pair I absolutely love) and skirt. But don’t look for them right away. As to other interesting adventures? I don’t know. I seem to remember going to an Arby’s the last time I played while wearing high heeled boots and I ate my meal right in the restaurant. That was interesting. I don’t know if I’ll have to courage to do that or something else at all. Right now, my mind is blank as to ideas.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to interrupt my schedule for posting The Bet. I’m planning on sticking to that – every Tuesday and Friday – I hope.
So this will be just a little extra of me adding some thoughts and feeling as I “enjoy myself” a little bit.
Have fun everyone – I’m certainly going to try to,
Karen
Anyway, after work yesterday, I went out and bought two new pairs of heels, a short little skirt, and, of course, diapers. The shoe shopping was very interesting. I’m usually very nervous about doing it, but this time, even with a store full of people, I went in and wandered up and down the aisles, looking the shoes over carefully. I even picked some up, then went back and forth to compare several. I totally forgot to be nervous about it after the first few minutes – believe it or not! And low and behold… I found the absolute perfect pair of strappy heels on their super cheap sale rack! And I love them! Okay, they have a super high heel – which I love, but I noticed last night that after wearing them for several hours, the area under the ball of my foot was starting to give me a lot of pain. Ouch! But I kept them on. They’re the first set of strappy heels I’ve ever owned that I could stand to wear at all. Usually, it’s the straps that hurt me, not the heel. But this time the straps were wonderful, and the height of the heel became my nemesis. But they won’t defeat me! I love them too much!
The skirt that I bought is very short… and very stretchy. I was very surprised at how the thing kept riding up with the least little bit of movement. Climbing stairs was a real eye opening experience as each step up forced it higher and higher. I had to constantly pull it down all night long since it was so short that it kept exposing my diaper underneath. Not very modest or ladylike at all! (But fun!)
I spent the evening wearing one diaper under my very short skirt and wetting it fairly often, trying very hard to not control myself at all. It still amazes me how after so long between play sessions, my body almost automatically responds. It wasn’t long before trying hard became not having to try at all.
Just before bed, I put on my usual three disposable diapers. Then I got into bed and listened to two of the hypnotic files I purchased some time ago from Warp My Mind. The files are very, very similar. The only real difference between them is that the second file is longer, encompassing everything in the first file plus a bit more. The first file is supposed to induce incontinence while the second file not only does that but also starts to instill a few baby behaviors.
I must have been in just the right mood to listen last night. In the past, I’ve fallen asleep just listening to the second one alone. But I really enjoyed listening to both of them, one right after the other last night. And the results? Wow! Okay, I don’t really think I’ve ever been actually hypnotized, but after listening to both of these and relaxing so totally, I found myself wetting in bed all night long with little to no warning. Somewhere about three quarters of the way through the second file my thumb found its way into my mouth again (it’s done that to me before). Several times during the night I was tempted to stick it back into my mouth again, once I actually did for a few moments, then I pulled it out again. I’m not that fond of sucking my thumb. I prefer a pacifier, but I don’t have one right now.
I wet myself a lot during the night – an awful lot. Totally uncontrolled and totally pleasurable. I loved it! I kept my soaked diapers on till I got my shower for work this morning. Now, at work, I’m wearing a pull up kind of diaper under my underwear just because I’m still in that kind of state where I’m a bit worried about accidents – at least I was that way when I left for work. It’s all kind of worn off now – but I’m still enjoying the bulk of the thing between my legs here at work.
My intention for tonight is to listen to the second file again before I go to bed. I wonder how many nights in a row I can manage to listen to the thing (it’s awfully long).
Anyway… I’ll try to do some pictures of my shoes (one pair I absolutely love) and skirt. But don’t look for them right away. As to other interesting adventures? I don’t know. I seem to remember going to an Arby’s the last time I played while wearing high heeled boots and I ate my meal right in the restaurant. That was interesting. I don’t know if I’ll have to courage to do that or something else at all. Right now, my mind is blank as to ideas.
Don’t worry. I’m not going to interrupt my schedule for posting The Bet. I’m planning on sticking to that – every Tuesday and Friday – I hope.
So this will be just a little extra of me adding some thoughts and feeling as I “enjoy myself” a little bit.
Have fun everyone – I’m certainly going to try to,
Karen
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Bet - Chapter 40 (Wednesday – week 6 Part 5 of 6)
The Bet
by Karen Singer
Chapter 40 (Wednesday – week 6 Part 5 of 6)
“Break time Sissy,” Robin called cheerfully from the entrance to his cubicle.
Chad had been staring mindlessly at his computer screen. He was so tired that he wasn’t even pretending to work. “Do I have to?” he asked, and then immediately yawned.
“Female voice, Sissy! Or as Derek put it earlier, your ‘girly’ voice.” She giggled. “And yes, you have to.”
“I’d rather take a nap.”
Robin let out a frustrated grunt. “Don’t use your male voice! Now say it again!”
“I don’t want to!” Chad said stubbornly – in his male voice.
“You can be so damn pig-headed!” An idea hit her. “Should I call Mel and tell her you’re refusing to cooperate – or even try?”
Horror hit Chad once again. “No!” he said quickly, clearly frightened by the idea.
“Girly voice,” Robin taunted.
Chad was too tired to argue anymore. Had she been teasing about calling Mel? “You wouldn’t really call her, would you?” he asked – in his girly voice.
Robin smiled. “I might. I do have her phone number now.”
“You’re joking!”
“Wait a minute!” Robin ran back to her desk and grabbed her cell phone and brought it back to his cubicle. She quickly went to her phone list and recited Mel’s number that Derek had passed on to her. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
Ugh! Chad laid his head back down in his arms on his desk again. She had it. Mel had not only called her, but had actually given Robin her number. And knowing Robin, it wouldn’t be long till she knew all too much!
“Now come on, let’s go to break.”
Chad didn’t want to argue anymore. He was too tired and depressed. This was turning out to be another very bad day.
“And remember, only your girly voice,” Robin reminded him.
Ugh!
As they walked through the halls, Robin replayed a bit of what happened in his cubicle through her mind. Was it her imagination, or when she had threatened to call Mel on him, did he look scared. She knew he was tired, very tired, that could have had something to do with it. But really, she got the impression that there was more to it than that.
Chad looked around the break room for Derek, but he didn’t see him anywhere. He didn’t know whether he was glad or sorry about that. On the one hand, sitting with the women was going to be embarrassing for sure, but on the other hand, he was not comfortable about sitting with Derek too. Not to mention that all the women now seemed to think that he and Derek had a thing going between them – which was definitely not the case!
The table was fairly crowded when he and Robin sat down, and Chad was pleased that he was not the center of attention – yet. He sipped his coffee and half-listened to the inane conversation between the women. One of them was complaining about the outfits her daughter wanted to wear all the time.
“You should have seen it!” the woman continued. “She wanted to wear the most ridiculous looking outfit you could imagine. She looked worse than some of those girls you see in the rock videos on TV! Her skirt had a hole in it so you couldn’t miss seeing her panties right through it! And her top was cut so low that her boobs were practically flying out! And the heels she was wearing! Ugh! And you don’t even want to know about her makeup! I put a stop to that right away! No daughter of mine is going out with a boy dressed like that!”
One of the women laughed a bit. “It sounds a little like the kind of outfit that Sissy wore last night.” There was a bit of laugher from the women.
“Not quite like that,” the first woman replied. “But the general idea was certainly the same!”
“Sissy, is that what you were trying to do last night,” one of the women asked Chad, “look like one of those young girls in the rock videos?”
“It wasn’t really…” Chad started to say.
“Girly voice!” Robin quickly reminded him.
Chad gave her a rather exasperated look, then he repeated himself – in his girly voice. “It wasn’t really my idea,” he replied again. “It was something that Mel kind of came up with.” He knew he had to explain it better than that. “She seemed to think that it would be fun for me.”
“I’m betting it was!” another of the women replied.
“No doubt at all!” still another woman added.
“So what are you going to wear for your date? Cause what you wore last night was certainly… interesting! Do you think that Derek will be wanting you to wear something like that again?”
“That’s a dumb question!” another of the women said before Chad could even think of replying. “Derek is a man! All men like that kind of stuff!”
“All too true, Honey,” another woman agreed with a sigh. “All too true!”
Chad finally spoke up – carefully using his girly voice. “I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to wear yet. And I don’t think he really wants to see me in anything like that again.”
“You don’t think? Honey, he’s a man! All men have only one thing on their little minds all the time – sex! And an outfit like that will make sure that it stays on his mind. He may say he doesn’t like it, but trust me, he does! Hey, what the heck am I telling you for? You should know better than any of us!”
The noise around the table was a mixture of agreements and laughter. Chad actually felt embarrassed. “That’s not quite true! There’s more to it than that,” he started to say.
“Not much!” one of the women interrupted. There was a slight pause, at the table, then several of the women started laughing again.
Chad may have been tired, but he realized that any reply that he made would have been useless, so he sat there silently embarrassed. A few moments later, the conversation passed by him again and returned to the women talking about their kids. He hated these breaks. He hated this particular break even more when the stupid suppository that Cassie had shoved up inside of him decided to do its thing while he was still sitting at the break table. He squirmed in his seat as it happened, all the while trying to make it look like nothing at all was happening or even wrong. The only good thing about it was – if you could even call it that – was that lately, he had been eating so very little, that his messes were the same way – very little.
Mel glanced at the clock in her car as she drove home from work. It was later than usual, much later. It had been over an hour since Sissy had called to tell her ‘she’ was putting her single diaper on. Now, there was only about half an hour to go before ‘she’ would have to be leaking. Mel really hoped that Sissy would be good tonight, she really wasn’t in the mood to punish ‘her’ at all. But she would if she had to!
Dinner smelled good from the moment she walked through her door. Sissy immediately came running to greet her with his usual curtsey. So nice! She stared at him briefly, his maid’s dress looked perfect – as it should. “Are you leaking yet?” she asked, actually hoping that he would be.
“Not yet, Mistress,” he replied. “But I’ve still got some time.”
“I certainly hope for your sake that you make it every time tonight!” Mel replied. “I really don’t want to have to punish you again.”
Chad didn’t want that either. “I’m trying,” he replied.
Mel nodded, then quickly said, “Show me your diaper!”
Chad was caught off-guard by the sudden command and as fast as he grabbed his skirt to pull it all the way up, he knew it wasn’t fast enough.
“Just hold it there!” Mel ordered sternly as she went to her corner where she kept her yardstick. She came back with it and gave one smart stroke to the back of his legs. “Faster next time!” she ordered. Only then did she take the time to examine how wet his diaper was – definitely getting there – fortunately.
The table was all set and dinner was basically ready. It was only waiting for him to put it out on the plate for her. She sent Sissy to dish out her food while she went into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.
Chad dished out her dinner and made sure that everything was perfect. Then he grabbed his latest baby bottle to keep drinking – he was determined to get his diaper leaking soon. But as he kept drinking, he became aware of how long Mel was taking. He had heard her going into the bathroom first and then into her bedroom to change, but it seemed to be taking her longer tonight than usual. He began to worry that all the food he had just put out might get cold.
Finally she came out and headed for the table. But just before she could sit down, he felt his diaper leaking. Involuntarily, he let out a small exclamation of surprise.
“What’s wrong?” Mel asked as she took her seat.
“I just started leaking,” Chad replied in his sissy voice.
“Good!” Mel said as she stuck her fork into the vegetables. Then she looked up at him. “I guess that means we have to change you right away, doesn’t it!”
“But your dinner… it’s already getting cold.”
Mel conceded that he did have a point. But there was a further point that had to be considered. “But, as of now, you’re already on another hour and forty-five minute deadline. So unless you want things to be even more difficult then I suggest you grab another diaper and put it on right away!”
Chad was more than a bit surprised, but he ran to grab another diaper. The clock was already ticking? Was she changing the game – again?
“Bring it back here where I can see you do it!” Mel called after him.
Chad came back to the kitchen with his fresh diaper. He pulled the skirt of his dress up high where it would be out of the way, then he removed his soggy, leaking diaper. He opened the new diaper and started to stick it between his legs when he noticed that he was peeing again. Not much, but there was definitely a small weak stream leaking out from his chastity device. Quickly, he pushed the diaper up where it could catch everything.
“Were you just peeing again?” Mel asked before she shoved more food into her mouth.
“Yes, Mistress. A little… I think.”
Mel said nothing. She just waited till he checked to make sure he was done, then she watched as he expertly diapered himself. She glanced at the clock. “An hour and forty minutes now,” was all she said… all she had to say.
Chad glanced at the clock too. This was getting harder and harder! He quickly grabbed his bottle and began drinking from it again. He really didn’t want to get punished tonight!
Mel watched him standing there with his bottle. The bottle appeared to be about three-quarters full – so it certainly couldn’t have been his first bottle since he had started preparing dinner. He needed to keep drinking, but she really preferred just then that he go to his corner. “Take that thing to your corner,” she ordered. “See if you can keep drinking it while you’re standing there.”
Chad wasn’t exactly happy about that order at all. It was bad enough having to drink from the bottle almost continuously. It was also bad enough to be stuck in his corner. But both? At the same time? Ugh! He carried his bottle to the corner and stepped up onto the perch. His body automatically leaned into the walls. He tried drinking from the bottle with it below his head, but he knew instantly that it wouldn’t work. The liquid had to be higher than his mouth. He had to fight a bit to get his arm up high enough to hold the bottle where it needed to be. It kept his head bent back so that instead of staring at the two blank walls, he was now staring at the corner of the ceiling – only a little bit better than staring at the blank corner walls all the time. The real problem now was his neck. He could already feel how tired the position was getting.
Mel watched him from her seat at the table. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? Obviously, he could make it work just fine. Feeling very satisfied with herself, she continued eating her meal… which tasted even better now than before.
Chad closed his eyes because he was going cross-eyed. With nothing really to look at, even in this position, he was spending more and more time staring at the bottle he was drinking from – which was difficult to see. He heard Mel getting up from the table… he even heard her coming over close to him. He was really expecting her to let him out of the corner, but she didn’t. She didn’t even say anything. So he was stuck standing there… stuck with nothing to do but drink his bottle. He opened his eyes and saw that he had finished about three quarters of it… the exact amount was hard to tell because of the angle and how close the thing was to his eyes. He closed his eyes again and heard Mel’s phone ringing.
Mel hurried to answer her phone, afraid that it might be some client problem that would call her out again. She checked the caller id, but didn’t recognize the number – not a good sign. “Hello?” she said into the phone.
“Mel? This is Ray – from the game last night…”
“Oh yes. How are you Ray?” In the back of her mind, she was almost hoping that he was calling to cancel the date they had set up for Sunday.
“I’m fine,” he replied. “I was just calling to see if you’re interested in having lunch tomorrow.”
“Lunch? I thought you had another date tomorrow.”
“I do, but that’s not till tomorrow night. Lunch is definitely doable though.”
Mel had a hard time believing it. Chad really hadn’t been kidding about this two-timing bozo! “Uh… I’m sorry,” she replied. “I’ve kind of got this standing lunch date that I try not to miss.”
“Not even for a chance for me to take you anywhere you like?”
Obviously, he wasn’t the type to give up. “I’m sorry,” she replied. “I have to be there – especially tomorrow.”
“Well, how about Friday then?”
“I’m afraid that Friday is out too. Let’s just wait till Sunday, and then we’ll see from there. Okay?”
“Fine by me,” Ray replied, although she was sure that he was defiantly feeling let down – good! “I just thought it might be a lot nicer to do it without anybody else.”
“I’m not quite ready for that yet,” Mel replied. “So is Sunday still on?”
“Oh yeah! I wouldn’t miss seeing Derek kissing Chad for anything!”
“You mean Sissy.”
“Chad… Sissy… whatever!”
Mel definitely didn’t care much for Ray, now more than ever. “We’ll see you Sunday then, Ray. And thanks for calling and asking me anyway. A girl can always use a boost like that to her ego.” She hung up. Why had she added the last part? It was dumb – especially since she really despised him more than ever now. Imagine, he had a date lined up for tomorrow night – and he still wanted to take her out to lunch! The two-timing moron! He was a hunk though. Pity.
Chad stood there finishing his bottle. It sounded like Ray had asked Mel out to lunch. He was kind of glad that she had refused, even though he really didn’t know why he should be glad. He just was. Now if she would just let him out of this stupid corner! He had a horrible cramp in his neck from the strain of the position he was in. He suddenly started sucking a little air with the contents of his bottle. A few seconds later, he pulled it out of his mouth and took a deep breath. Whew! Now, would Mel let him lower the bottle – and his head? He had to relieve the strain on his neck! He chanced it. Slowly, he brought his hand holding the bottle down, and even faster, he brought his head forward again. Much better!
Mel noticed the movement from Sissy in the corner. “Are you finished?” she asked.
“Yes, Mistress,” Sissy’s muffled reply came from the confines of the corner.
“Good, then get yourself out of there and into your highchair.”
As soon as Chad managed to extricate himself from the corner, he rubbed at his sore neck. That had been tiring! Still rubbing his neck, he carried his now empty bottle towards the kitchen – and his waiting highchair.
“Show me your diaper!” Mel suddenly demanded.
Chad was so surprised by the request that he dropped his bottle as he desperately grabbed for the hem of his skirt to lift it up high. Was he fast enough? Was she going to hit him again? He didn’t really like the look on Mel’s face, but at least she wasn’t running for her yardstick.
Mel had rather enjoyed his panic the moment she had given him the command – especially where he had dropped his bottle in the process. She just didn’t want him to see that she had enjoyed it. “That was close, Sissy! Very close! If you’re that slow next time, you’ll feel my stick again!” She examined his diaper. Yes, it looked like he had wet it while he was on his perch, probably more than once. But he had a long way to go with it – a very long way! “Okay, Sissy. Get into your chair.”
by Karen Singer
Chapter 40 (Wednesday – week 6 Part 5 of 6)
“Break time Sissy,” Robin called cheerfully from the entrance to his cubicle.
Chad had been staring mindlessly at his computer screen. He was so tired that he wasn’t even pretending to work. “Do I have to?” he asked, and then immediately yawned.
“Female voice, Sissy! Or as Derek put it earlier, your ‘girly’ voice.” She giggled. “And yes, you have to.”
“I’d rather take a nap.”
Robin let out a frustrated grunt. “Don’t use your male voice! Now say it again!”
“I don’t want to!” Chad said stubbornly – in his male voice.
“You can be so damn pig-headed!” An idea hit her. “Should I call Mel and tell her you’re refusing to cooperate – or even try?”
Horror hit Chad once again. “No!” he said quickly, clearly frightened by the idea.
“Girly voice,” Robin taunted.
Chad was too tired to argue anymore. Had she been teasing about calling Mel? “You wouldn’t really call her, would you?” he asked – in his girly voice.
Robin smiled. “I might. I do have her phone number now.”
“You’re joking!”
“Wait a minute!” Robin ran back to her desk and grabbed her cell phone and brought it back to his cubicle. She quickly went to her phone list and recited Mel’s number that Derek had passed on to her. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
Ugh! Chad laid his head back down in his arms on his desk again. She had it. Mel had not only called her, but had actually given Robin her number. And knowing Robin, it wouldn’t be long till she knew all too much!
“Now come on, let’s go to break.”
Chad didn’t want to argue anymore. He was too tired and depressed. This was turning out to be another very bad day.
“And remember, only your girly voice,” Robin reminded him.
Ugh!
As they walked through the halls, Robin replayed a bit of what happened in his cubicle through her mind. Was it her imagination, or when she had threatened to call Mel on him, did he look scared. She knew he was tired, very tired, that could have had something to do with it. But really, she got the impression that there was more to it than that.
Chad looked around the break room for Derek, but he didn’t see him anywhere. He didn’t know whether he was glad or sorry about that. On the one hand, sitting with the women was going to be embarrassing for sure, but on the other hand, he was not comfortable about sitting with Derek too. Not to mention that all the women now seemed to think that he and Derek had a thing going between them – which was definitely not the case!
The table was fairly crowded when he and Robin sat down, and Chad was pleased that he was not the center of attention – yet. He sipped his coffee and half-listened to the inane conversation between the women. One of them was complaining about the outfits her daughter wanted to wear all the time.
“You should have seen it!” the woman continued. “She wanted to wear the most ridiculous looking outfit you could imagine. She looked worse than some of those girls you see in the rock videos on TV! Her skirt had a hole in it so you couldn’t miss seeing her panties right through it! And her top was cut so low that her boobs were practically flying out! And the heels she was wearing! Ugh! And you don’t even want to know about her makeup! I put a stop to that right away! No daughter of mine is going out with a boy dressed like that!”
One of the women laughed a bit. “It sounds a little like the kind of outfit that Sissy wore last night.” There was a bit of laugher from the women.
“Not quite like that,” the first woman replied. “But the general idea was certainly the same!”
“Sissy, is that what you were trying to do last night,” one of the women asked Chad, “look like one of those young girls in the rock videos?”
“It wasn’t really…” Chad started to say.
“Girly voice!” Robin quickly reminded him.
Chad gave her a rather exasperated look, then he repeated himself – in his girly voice. “It wasn’t really my idea,” he replied again. “It was something that Mel kind of came up with.” He knew he had to explain it better than that. “She seemed to think that it would be fun for me.”
“I’m betting it was!” another of the women replied.
“No doubt at all!” still another woman added.
“So what are you going to wear for your date? Cause what you wore last night was certainly… interesting! Do you think that Derek will be wanting you to wear something like that again?”
“That’s a dumb question!” another of the women said before Chad could even think of replying. “Derek is a man! All men like that kind of stuff!”
“All too true, Honey,” another woman agreed with a sigh. “All too true!”
Chad finally spoke up – carefully using his girly voice. “I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to wear yet. And I don’t think he really wants to see me in anything like that again.”
“You don’t think? Honey, he’s a man! All men have only one thing on their little minds all the time – sex! And an outfit like that will make sure that it stays on his mind. He may say he doesn’t like it, but trust me, he does! Hey, what the heck am I telling you for? You should know better than any of us!”
The noise around the table was a mixture of agreements and laughter. Chad actually felt embarrassed. “That’s not quite true! There’s more to it than that,” he started to say.
“Not much!” one of the women interrupted. There was a slight pause, at the table, then several of the women started laughing again.
Chad may have been tired, but he realized that any reply that he made would have been useless, so he sat there silently embarrassed. A few moments later, the conversation passed by him again and returned to the women talking about their kids. He hated these breaks. He hated this particular break even more when the stupid suppository that Cassie had shoved up inside of him decided to do its thing while he was still sitting at the break table. He squirmed in his seat as it happened, all the while trying to make it look like nothing at all was happening or even wrong. The only good thing about it was – if you could even call it that – was that lately, he had been eating so very little, that his messes were the same way – very little.
Mel glanced at the clock in her car as she drove home from work. It was later than usual, much later. It had been over an hour since Sissy had called to tell her ‘she’ was putting her single diaper on. Now, there was only about half an hour to go before ‘she’ would have to be leaking. Mel really hoped that Sissy would be good tonight, she really wasn’t in the mood to punish ‘her’ at all. But she would if she had to!
Dinner smelled good from the moment she walked through her door. Sissy immediately came running to greet her with his usual curtsey. So nice! She stared at him briefly, his maid’s dress looked perfect – as it should. “Are you leaking yet?” she asked, actually hoping that he would be.
“Not yet, Mistress,” he replied. “But I’ve still got some time.”
“I certainly hope for your sake that you make it every time tonight!” Mel replied. “I really don’t want to have to punish you again.”
Chad didn’t want that either. “I’m trying,” he replied.
Mel nodded, then quickly said, “Show me your diaper!”
Chad was caught off-guard by the sudden command and as fast as he grabbed his skirt to pull it all the way up, he knew it wasn’t fast enough.
“Just hold it there!” Mel ordered sternly as she went to her corner where she kept her yardstick. She came back with it and gave one smart stroke to the back of his legs. “Faster next time!” she ordered. Only then did she take the time to examine how wet his diaper was – definitely getting there – fortunately.
The table was all set and dinner was basically ready. It was only waiting for him to put it out on the plate for her. She sent Sissy to dish out her food while she went into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.
Chad dished out her dinner and made sure that everything was perfect. Then he grabbed his latest baby bottle to keep drinking – he was determined to get his diaper leaking soon. But as he kept drinking, he became aware of how long Mel was taking. He had heard her going into the bathroom first and then into her bedroom to change, but it seemed to be taking her longer tonight than usual. He began to worry that all the food he had just put out might get cold.
Finally she came out and headed for the table. But just before she could sit down, he felt his diaper leaking. Involuntarily, he let out a small exclamation of surprise.
“What’s wrong?” Mel asked as she took her seat.
“I just started leaking,” Chad replied in his sissy voice.
“Good!” Mel said as she stuck her fork into the vegetables. Then she looked up at him. “I guess that means we have to change you right away, doesn’t it!”
“But your dinner… it’s already getting cold.”
Mel conceded that he did have a point. But there was a further point that had to be considered. “But, as of now, you’re already on another hour and forty-five minute deadline. So unless you want things to be even more difficult then I suggest you grab another diaper and put it on right away!”
Chad was more than a bit surprised, but he ran to grab another diaper. The clock was already ticking? Was she changing the game – again?
“Bring it back here where I can see you do it!” Mel called after him.
Chad came back to the kitchen with his fresh diaper. He pulled the skirt of his dress up high where it would be out of the way, then he removed his soggy, leaking diaper. He opened the new diaper and started to stick it between his legs when he noticed that he was peeing again. Not much, but there was definitely a small weak stream leaking out from his chastity device. Quickly, he pushed the diaper up where it could catch everything.
“Were you just peeing again?” Mel asked before she shoved more food into her mouth.
“Yes, Mistress. A little… I think.”
Mel said nothing. She just waited till he checked to make sure he was done, then she watched as he expertly diapered himself. She glanced at the clock. “An hour and forty minutes now,” was all she said… all she had to say.
Chad glanced at the clock too. This was getting harder and harder! He quickly grabbed his bottle and began drinking from it again. He really didn’t want to get punished tonight!
Mel watched him standing there with his bottle. The bottle appeared to be about three-quarters full – so it certainly couldn’t have been his first bottle since he had started preparing dinner. He needed to keep drinking, but she really preferred just then that he go to his corner. “Take that thing to your corner,” she ordered. “See if you can keep drinking it while you’re standing there.”
Chad wasn’t exactly happy about that order at all. It was bad enough having to drink from the bottle almost continuously. It was also bad enough to be stuck in his corner. But both? At the same time? Ugh! He carried his bottle to the corner and stepped up onto the perch. His body automatically leaned into the walls. He tried drinking from the bottle with it below his head, but he knew instantly that it wouldn’t work. The liquid had to be higher than his mouth. He had to fight a bit to get his arm up high enough to hold the bottle where it needed to be. It kept his head bent back so that instead of staring at the two blank walls, he was now staring at the corner of the ceiling – only a little bit better than staring at the blank corner walls all the time. The real problem now was his neck. He could already feel how tired the position was getting.
Mel watched him from her seat at the table. Why hadn’t she thought of this before? Obviously, he could make it work just fine. Feeling very satisfied with herself, she continued eating her meal… which tasted even better now than before.
Chad closed his eyes because he was going cross-eyed. With nothing really to look at, even in this position, he was spending more and more time staring at the bottle he was drinking from – which was difficult to see. He heard Mel getting up from the table… he even heard her coming over close to him. He was really expecting her to let him out of the corner, but she didn’t. She didn’t even say anything. So he was stuck standing there… stuck with nothing to do but drink his bottle. He opened his eyes and saw that he had finished about three quarters of it… the exact amount was hard to tell because of the angle and how close the thing was to his eyes. He closed his eyes again and heard Mel’s phone ringing.
Mel hurried to answer her phone, afraid that it might be some client problem that would call her out again. She checked the caller id, but didn’t recognize the number – not a good sign. “Hello?” she said into the phone.
“Mel? This is Ray – from the game last night…”
“Oh yes. How are you Ray?” In the back of her mind, she was almost hoping that he was calling to cancel the date they had set up for Sunday.
“I’m fine,” he replied. “I was just calling to see if you’re interested in having lunch tomorrow.”
“Lunch? I thought you had another date tomorrow.”
“I do, but that’s not till tomorrow night. Lunch is definitely doable though.”
Mel had a hard time believing it. Chad really hadn’t been kidding about this two-timing bozo! “Uh… I’m sorry,” she replied. “I’ve kind of got this standing lunch date that I try not to miss.”
“Not even for a chance for me to take you anywhere you like?”
Obviously, he wasn’t the type to give up. “I’m sorry,” she replied. “I have to be there – especially tomorrow.”
“Well, how about Friday then?”
“I’m afraid that Friday is out too. Let’s just wait till Sunday, and then we’ll see from there. Okay?”
“Fine by me,” Ray replied, although she was sure that he was defiantly feeling let down – good! “I just thought it might be a lot nicer to do it without anybody else.”
“I’m not quite ready for that yet,” Mel replied. “So is Sunday still on?”
“Oh yeah! I wouldn’t miss seeing Derek kissing Chad for anything!”
“You mean Sissy.”
“Chad… Sissy… whatever!”
Mel definitely didn’t care much for Ray, now more than ever. “We’ll see you Sunday then, Ray. And thanks for calling and asking me anyway. A girl can always use a boost like that to her ego.” She hung up. Why had she added the last part? It was dumb – especially since she really despised him more than ever now. Imagine, he had a date lined up for tomorrow night – and he still wanted to take her out to lunch! The two-timing moron! He was a hunk though. Pity.
Chad stood there finishing his bottle. It sounded like Ray had asked Mel out to lunch. He was kind of glad that she had refused, even though he really didn’t know why he should be glad. He just was. Now if she would just let him out of this stupid corner! He had a horrible cramp in his neck from the strain of the position he was in. He suddenly started sucking a little air with the contents of his bottle. A few seconds later, he pulled it out of his mouth and took a deep breath. Whew! Now, would Mel let him lower the bottle – and his head? He had to relieve the strain on his neck! He chanced it. Slowly, he brought his hand holding the bottle down, and even faster, he brought his head forward again. Much better!
Mel noticed the movement from Sissy in the corner. “Are you finished?” she asked.
“Yes, Mistress,” Sissy’s muffled reply came from the confines of the corner.
“Good, then get yourself out of there and into your highchair.”
As soon as Chad managed to extricate himself from the corner, he rubbed at his sore neck. That had been tiring! Still rubbing his neck, he carried his now empty bottle towards the kitchen – and his waiting highchair.
“Show me your diaper!” Mel suddenly demanded.
Chad was so surprised by the request that he dropped his bottle as he desperately grabbed for the hem of his skirt to lift it up high. Was he fast enough? Was she going to hit him again? He didn’t really like the look on Mel’s face, but at least she wasn’t running for her yardstick.
Mel had rather enjoyed his panic the moment she had given him the command – especially where he had dropped his bottle in the process. She just didn’t want him to see that she had enjoyed it. “That was close, Sissy! Very close! If you’re that slow next time, you’ll feel my stick again!” She examined his diaper. Yes, it looked like he had wet it while he was on his perch, probably more than once. But he had a long way to go with it – a very long way! “Okay, Sissy. Get into your chair.”
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