My Funny Farm - Chapter 23 – Dreams of Money – Part 2 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 23 – Dreams of Money – Part 2 of 2

 

Yeah, there was no doubt about it, the days when Nichole was there seemed to fly by.  It seemed like I had just taken my morning nap, but when I thought about it, my morning nap had been followed by more playtime and of course lunch.  Then more playtime again.  So now it was time for my afternoon nap.  I guess I was just so afraid that Nichole would zap me again with her electric toy that my head stayed more confused than usual about things.

My diaper was more than soaked since Nichole hadn’t changed it yet.  In fact, despite that huge thing in my butt that still not just bothered me, but it hurt, I thought I smelled a bit stinky too.  But how could I have gone poo-poo if my butt was plugged up?  I couldn’t.  Not that I was exactly worried about it anyway.  I had no reason to worry about any of that.  If I leaked, that was their problem to clean up.  I’d just be a lot more comfortable if my diaper was only slightly wet instead of completely soaked.

As I laid there locked into my crib, I realized that even after a hard morning of crawling around and playing with my toys, I wasn’t really tired, but the lights were out and the bars were up, so taking a nap was about the only thing I could do.  I rolled over and concentrated on my pacifier instead.  Suck…relax…suck…relax.  I did that for a minute or two then yawned.  Suck…relax…suck…  Yeah, I fell asleep.  Isn’t life wonderful?

The crazy thing is that it almost felt like no time at all before Nichole was back and waking me up.  And for some reason, she seemed to be really, really happy.

“My goodness you stink!” she declared as she lowered the bars on my cage…I mean my crib.  Damn, I wish I was drunker to do this, but I guess we’ve got no choice but to change you.”

I was glad.  I gave her no trouble at all as she strapped me down to her changing table.  She had to do some major cleaning to my bottom, but soon she was dumping another glass of water into my fresh diaper and fastening it up.  Perfect!  Just the way I like them.  Already wet.

And then I heard her laugh.  She unstrapped me and let me down from the table.  “Into your playpen,” she ordered.  “Go play.”

I heard her laugh again as I crawled my way inside the fence.  She closed the gate behind me and laughed yet again.  I had no idea why.  I started playing with my toys while she disappeared for a minute.  I was just getting into the game I was playing with the blocks and the rings when I was wracked with the most horrific pain imaginable.  As I rolled in pain on the floor, I saw her back in the room with her cellphone in her hand.  The pain finally stopped, and I could really hear her laughing now.

“This is so much fun!” she laughed before hitting the pain button again.

I suffered through it two more times before she finally left to put her phone away.  When she came back, she had another glass of something from the liquor cabinet in her hand.  I tried to play, but to be honest, after what she had done to me, there was no way I could play at all.  I had been in misery, and she had thought it was funny.

A little while later, I was crawling my way out of my fenced-in play area and climbing up onto her lap for anther bottle.  At least the bottles were relaxing.

“Nichole says to go night-night.”

 

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She was drunk, and she knew it, but she really didn’t care.  She knew she needed to at least sober up a bit before she got out of there to go home…or maybe not.  Why ruin such a great day?  She was drunk, but not too drunk to go into his head again and remind him of the latest new things he needed to remember, or in some cases, not remember.

With that done, she pressed one final new thing on him for the day.  It was on the list they had all agreed on, but it was also one she was looking forward to, just for the fun of it.

Very softly she said, “You love being a baby.  Being a baby is so much fun.  It’s so nice not to have to worry about anything.  But baby, you also love being girly.  Being girly is also so much fun.  Think of all the fun things you can wear when you’re being girly.  So much fun.  In fact, you love girly clothes so much that you’d much rather wear them than men’s clothes, anytime, anywhere, even in public.  Maybe, especially in public where you can show off how much fun they are for you to wear.”

She paused for only a moment before she pressed her case into his head.  “Baby, being girly is so much fun, but you want to know what’s even better?  It’s even more fun when you can dress as a baby girl.  Think about it, you love being a baby, you love being girly.  It’s the best of both worlds.  You never worry about being a sissy.  If someone wants to call you that or think about you that way, that’s fine.  You just love being a baby girl.  That’s all you ever want to be.  Forget being a nasty old man.  Forget being a man at all.  What you really want in life is to be a baby girl.”

She paused again as she thought about that.  Yeah, that should fluster some of his doctors in the future.  Ha!  She leaned towards his head again and said, “Baby, you know what I want you to do now?  I want you to wake up when I tell you, and when you wake up I want you to go into your closet, and into all your drawers, and play with all your girly clothes.  Try them all on.  Make all the mess with them that you want.  All so you can be the pretty baby girl that you want to be.  So when I wake you up, go have fun!”

She let him suck his pacifier for a few moments before she said, “Nichole says to wake up!”

 

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Wake up?  Had I fallen asleep again?  Unbelievable!

“Baby,” Nichole said.  “Maybe playing more will help you stay awake.  You don’t have to get into your fenced-in play area.  You can play with anything at all that you want here in your room.  Anything!  So go, play.  Have all the fun you want!”

I was shocked.  “Anything?” I said despite the big pacifier in my mouth.

She laughed.  “Anything!”

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

I jumped out of her lap and headed for the closet.  It didn’t contain any of my old clothes at all.  Instead, it held a few dresses, skirts, and tops.  Those black shoes with the straps that went around my ankles were on the floor, right next to a pair of pink high heels.  I shoved my feet into the heels and almost fell before I grabbed two of the skirts and pulled them out.  I pulled one of them on then ran back to my closet like a madman, grabbing every top I could find in there.

I was aware of Nichole laughing in the background, but I didn’t care.  I just wanted to play with the clothes in my closet…and my drawers.  I ran to the small dresser and pulled out every drawer and everything from those drawers I could find.  This was fun!  Those pink high heels didn’t exactly say baby, but they were so much fun to play in too.  Why else would they have bought them for me?

It was a while later that I noticed Nichole again.  She had another glass of something in her hand, and she was singing and dancing.  Good for her.  I was busy having a great time!  Why had no one ever let me do this before?

 

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Detective Kinsley almost didn’t bother checking to see what the picture frame had caught that day.  Number one, because it was too depressing to see what they were putting that poor man though, when what he needed was a good doctor instead.  And two, because the last two days had shown her that there was no kind of conspiracy going on at all.  The guy was nuts!  Her sister had even said so.  In fact, everything they were putting him through was because he was nuts.

But the department was only letting her use the frame for a week, and that was it.  She pulled up the web address for the picture frame in his room and started watching.  What she saw was just what she saw every day, which was Emily and Caitlin taking very good, very loving care of him, as if he was a real baby instead of a grown man.  Disgusting!  But there was nothing she could do about it.

She was surprised to see Nichole there that day.  She had forgotten that she came in several days a week, and wasn’t something said about her torturing him?  It certainly didn’t sound likely.  She saw Nichole deposit a large shopping bag against the wall near his changing table, then leave.  The next video showed Nichole walking in and Craig…uh…crawling behind her.  Why was he crawling today?  But…it was probably part of his stupid weird therapy.

And then what she saw was everything going completely haywire.  She watched in disbelief as right after she yanked Craig’s skirt off, he began protesting…loudly and vehemently!  The shouting was loud enough that she didn’t even have to turn up the volume to hear it.  The argument was so out of character that she was completely shocked by it.  But it didn’t last long as Nichole seemed to wave her hand and say something…and he fell to the floor, completely limp.  She stared at the screen in disbelief.  Had she killed him?  It certainly looked like it.  He wasn’t moving a muscle!

She saw Nichole get down on the floor with him and lift his head into her lap.  Was she sorry for having killed him now?  As she watched closer, she saw him talking to him.  She had to turn up the volume to hear what she was saying, all of which shocked the hell out of her.  It still took her a few minutes of listening to be sure that he wasn’t dead.

After listening to the things she was saying, she had only one thought.  Conspiracy?  Hell yes there was a conspiracy!  She didn’t know how far it went, but she was sure she was looking at the head of it right in front of her.  She wanted to run right there and then to get Craig out of there and get him into the hospital where he belonged, but she stayed, watching the video for more evidence.  And more evidence she got…in spades!  All day long, whenever the two of them were in the room together, Nichole did nothing but put ideas into his head.  She had to be a master at hypnotizing people for those ideas to take that well, but as she watched, she realized she was dealing with just such a person.

By the time she watched a very drunk Nichole singing and dancing around his room, while he played dress-up with all his clothes, she had simply had enough.  She couldn’t take anymore.  As far as she was concerned, the words to the song Nichole had been singing was all the evidence she really needed.  “Baby, baby, oh baaabyy,” Nichole sang on the recording.  “I love you, I really do.  You’re going to make my dreams of money come true.”  It was a very old song, but one Kinsley had heard before.  It was a song that had been recorded by the Carpenters, called Superstar.   Kinsley could swear though that the real words to the melody didn’t say anything about dreams of money coming true.  In fact, she knew it for a fact!

She had enough of this.  She didn’t bother to call her sister, the psychologist.  She didn’t bother to call James, who she had worked with to allow the hidden video system to be installed.  Instead, she called for uniformed backup to accompany her to the house.

It was time…no, past time…to get Craig Bryson out of his house, and get him the help he deserved!

 

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A cute bib to protect my clothes, a colorful plastic plate with fun characters all over it, a colorful baby spoon in my hand, and friiied chicken with mashed potatoes on my plate.  Yum!  And unlike the others, I didn’t even have to worry about cutting my chicken up.  Emily had been kind enough to do that for me.  I could just dig right in.  Ha!  Take that everyone!

We all sat down to dinner, and now that I had gotten some food into me, I felt it was time to bring up the big subject I had been stressing about most of the day.  “Excuse me everyone,” I announced.  The way I had said it quickly got everyone’s attention.  “I know I’m probably not supposed to say anything, but I have something serious to discuss.  And I need to tell everyone about it now.”

“What is it baby?” Emily asked.  “Do you have a problem?”

“Yes!” I told her.  “I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I need to make a change in something important.”

Emily shook her head.  “Baby, you know you don’t need to worry…”

“Stop it!  Listen to me.” I insisted.

Emily sighed.  “What is it?”

I looked over at Bill.  “I’ve been seriously thinking about this, and I don’t think I want James handling my financial affairs anymore.  It isn’t right!”  I noticed the look of interest in Bill’s eyes.  I nodded at him.  “I want you to handle it all instead.”

“Baby!” Caitlin exclaimed happily.  “Are you sure?  That would make Bill very happy.  You know he’d do a great job for you.”

“Yes, I know he would.  Better than James.”

Bill nodded.  “We’ll call James about it tonight and make the change tomorrow morning.  I can have the paperwork drawn up in no time.”

Before I could say anything else, a loud urgent pounding came from our front door.  Everyone at the table looked startled.

“I’ll get it,” Emily said as she got to her feet and left the kitchen.

While we waited, Caitlin turned to me again.  “Are you sure baby?” she asked.  “What brought this on?”

Before I could answer, Emily’s concerned voice shouted, “Caitlin!”

Caitlin quickly got to her feet, but before she could take a step, the kitchen was invaded by what seemed like a horde of policemen.  Okay, I could count that many, three!  That detective, whatever her name was, and two more cops in uniform.

“Mr. Bryson,” Detective Kinsley said, “I’m taking you out of here and remanding you to the city behavioral center where you belong.  And I’m doing it now!”

“What’s going on?” Caitlin asked, totally bewildered.

“I just told you,” the detective replied.  “He’s leaving with me, just as soon as you can get him changed into some normal clothes.  And I mean normal male clothes.  His clothes.”

“But why?” Emily asked.

“Because it’s in his best interest!  That’s all I can tell you right now,” the detective told her firmly.  “Now do you have some better clothes for him, because if not, I’ll take him just as he is.”

“No,” Caitlin replied softly.  “I’ll…find him something.”

“Then hurry up!” the detective said.

Caitlin hurried off upstairs and the detective turned to Emily and Bill.  “I suggested you both make yourselves available all day tomorrow in case I need you for anything, and by that I mean that I will be needing to talk to you.  In fact, after I drop him off at the behavioral center in a little while, I’ll be phoning everyone else in your family and telling them the same thing.  I suggest you be prepared come in when I need you.”

Bill shook his head.  “This is wrong!” he stated angrily.  “I’m calling my lawyer!”

“Good!” the detective said.  “It’ll save time tomorrow.”

Bill looked at her for a moment, then hurried off to make his phone call.

Caitlin came back down with an armful of my old clothes.  I was led into the bedroom where she helped me get dressed, including real underwear that felt so strange I couldn’t believe it.  I had barely gotten my pants on though when I realized I was in the process of wetting them.  “Uh-oh,” I muttered as I looked down.

“Gramps,” Caitlin said.  “Just remember to control yourself.  Okay?”

“I’m not sure I can anymore,” I told her.

“I’ll get you some fresh pants,” she told me.  She ran off and Kinsley along with the uniformed policemen waited.  When Emily came back with fresh underwear and pants for me, I hurried to get them on.  Finally, I slipped my feet into my old shoes.  Shoes, that like everything else, I hadn’t worn in some time now.  I was about to walk out the door when I felt it once again.  I stopped still and stared down at my pants.  “Damn!” I cursed again.

“Gramps,” Emily said.  “I hate to say this, but for now, maybe a diaper would work better for you.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.  “Let’s do it.”

I was led back to my bedroom where Caitlin and Emily both undressed me, put a diaper on me, then redressed me again.  I immediately felt better having a diaper on than going without.

  Then, before I knew it, the policemen grabbed me by the arms and literally hurried me out of my own house.  I wanted to tell someone I needed my pacifier, but they never gave me the chance.  I got quickly shoved into one of the police cars and I was driven away.  They weren’t coming to take me away, they were there, and they were taking me away…to the funny farm, where life isn’t beautiful all the time, and there are no chirping birds or anything else!

Once I was turned over to the center’s staff, I was shown directly to a room.  My new home.  But for how long?  I went into the room and they closed the door behind me.  I knew my door wasn’t locked…yet, but it felt like a prison to me.  I looked around.  The room was nice enough, I guessed.  There were no bars on the bed like my crib at home had.  There was no colorful plastic fence full of toys for me to play with.  And there was no changing table where someone could easily change my wet and messy diapers.  Since I had wet myself twice more since they had put this diaper on me, I wondered how well that was going to work.

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha, to the funny farm.  I didn’t find anything about this place to be funny.  In fact, it was downright depressing.  I already wanted to go home.

 

My Funny Farm - Chapter 23 – Dreams of Money – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 23 – Dreams of Money – Part 1 of 2

 

What day was it?  Locked in my nearly constant routine, the days were starting to all blur together.  I had to think for a few minutes to figure it out.  I saw Doctor Clive every Tuesday, I saw James each Friday evening, and Ashley came to talk with me on Sundays.  And then there was the other part of my schedule.  Nichole came to take care of me whenever Caitlin had to be at work, which meant that she was there every Monday, Thursday, and Friday.

Those things were the only way I had of keeping track of what day it was.  Of course, everyone else would simply say, what does it matter?  You don’t need to worry about things like that.  Babies have no concept of what day of the week it is, and they certainly don’t care.  So you don’t need to care about it either.  But I did care.  It was simply a lifetime of ingrained habits.

I laid in my crib with my morning bottle in my mouth and thought about it.  Yesterday Caitlin had been home to take care of me.  The day before that we had been to see Doctor Clive and bought groceries.  Which had to mean that today was Thursday!  Hooray!  I had figured it out.  Or maybe not hooray.  Thursday meant that it was Nichol’s turn to watch me again.  And I still associated her with pain.  Pain that I dreaded.  Why was it that nobody believed any of the things I told them that she did to me?

Emily was there when my bottle was done to get me out of my crib and haul me off to the kitchen for breakfast.  One baby bib, one childish plastic baby bowl, one baby spoon, and a whole bunch of baby cereal.  Trust me, while everyone else was eating nothing but boxed cereal, I looked at their breakfast with total jealousy.

As the usual morning routine continued, I was more than aware that every moment brought me closer to the time when Nichole would be there, and everyone else would leave.  I was not looking forward to that time.  I think I might have mentioned before though that I was very aware of how inevitable it was.

As usual, I was sitting in front of the TV with my morning vitamin drink bottle when the cartoon I was watching was interrupted by the call of, “Morning all!”  Nichole had arrived!  Before long, Caitlin and Emily kissed me goodbye for the day, and I was alone in the house with nasty Nichole.  She stood over me and my bottle and said, “Aren’t you done with that thing yet?  Come on.  Drink up.  We’ve got things to do today.”

I wondered, and worried about what she meant by that.  She disappeared while I finished my bottle, and as I suspected, she reappeared with her big bag of medieval torture implements.  I noticed that she never brought the bag into the house while anyone else was there.  Maybe that was one of the reasons nobody ever believed me when I told them she was evil.  Just the sight of her carrying that bag into my nursery scared me to death.

When she came back to the living room, she grabbed my bottle from me and carried it back to the kitchen, despite the fact that I wasn’t done drinking it yet.  I stuck my pacifier in my mouth myself, mostly for the bit of comfort it might bring me against what I was afraid was going to come.

“Baby!” her voice lashed out.  “Why the hell aren’t you crawling your stinky ass into the nursery yet.  Get a move on!”

What had gotten into her today?  But I crawled toward my bedroom.  I was so much slower than she was that she passed me long before I got there.

She had me stand up, both to yank my tiny skirt off and to get up onto the changing table.  The skirt came off easily, but once it was gone, I took one look at that changing table with its waiting straps to hold me down, and another look at her big bag of torture devices, and I quickly decided I’d had enough.  “No!” I shouted angrily.  “No more!  You’re killing me!”

“Get your ass up on that table,” she yelled.

“No!  I won’t let you hurt me again.”

That’s the last thing I remember.  I’m pretty sure she said something, but I can’t be sure.  The next thing I knew, I was already on the changing table and my arms were bent back and trapped by the straps holding me down.  What had happened?  I had no clue.  I only knew that Nichole was now tying her piece of rope to my ankles.

“I’ve got a special surprise for you today baby,” Nichole told me as she pulled on the rope, pulling my legs way up over my head and finally tying it off in such a way that I couldn’t lower my legs, leaving my bare ass up in the air and exposed.  As she went back to her big shopping bag, I squirmed around trying to get loose, but as always, that was impossible.  “I’m moving you up today,” she told me happily when she came back.  “We’re going to stretch that poor ass of yours even wider than before.”

“No!  Don’t!” I tried to protest despite the plug in my mouth.

She laughed.  “Yes, and I will,” she laughed.  “Scream all you want, the more the better.  I want to hear it.  I want to remember every moment of what I do to ruin you.”  She slapped my ass hard with her hand.  I felt her spreading ice-cold lube up into my ass just before she said, “Here comes.  Open wide baby.  Here comes the choo-choo train.  Woo-ooo!”

With that, she started pushing that big thing into my ass.  I could tell immediately that whatever it was, was even bigger than the one she had used on me before.  I protested and yelled and squirmed, but there was nothing I could do to stop her.  Before long, I felt that thing sliding home in my ass much like the smaller one had done.  But my entire ass was hurting from being stretched so wide that the skin felt like it was burning.  “Oowww!”

My complaining and cries of pain earned me three hard slaps on my ass…with that big thing still in there.  “Stop your complaining,” she told me.  “It’s in there and it will stay in there until I go home.  All day.”  She chuckled.  “Your ass is going to be so big eventually that you’ll never stand a chance of holding anything back, ever again.”  She laughed again.  “And that’s on top of the fact that you can’t hold back anyway.”  Again, she laughed.  “Just like a baby!”

She finally lowered my legs, fastened the strap over them, and removed the rope.  With my legs down, I could feel that huge thing in my ass more than ever.  I fearfully watched as she went back to her shopping bag and grabbed something else.  Experience told me what that something else was.  Pain!  “No!” I cried again as she fastened her device to my cock and balls.  I squirmed to get away, but it did no good.

“She leaned over my head.  “I guess we better make sure it works,” she told me.

“No!” I protested.  But that meant nothing to her as she brought out her phone and hit the button, sending waves of intense pain though my body, especially my groin.

She laughed.  “I just love that!” she declared.

She might like it, but I didn’t.  That pain was killing me!

She left me and came back with a glass of water that she dumped into my fresh diaper.  “I know we don’t need to do this anymore,” she said, “but I get such a big kick out of the fact that even your fresh diapers are never dry.”  She laughed as she set the empty glass aside.  What had gotten into her today?  She was even more demented than ever.

Two minutes later, I was firmly diapered and put down onto the floor to crawl my way into my play area.  My ass was still sore and burning from that thing she had stuck in there.  She let me play by myself for a while before she eventually came back.  I noticed the baby bottle in her hand, even though I had just finished one out in the living room a few minutes earlier.

“Come on, baby,” she said as she held the gate open.  “Bottle time.”

Knowing there was no sense in resisting, I crawled my way out of my playpen towards the couch in the room.  A minute later, my head was in her lap and the nipple from that bottle was in my mouth.

“Now don’t fall asleep on me this time,” she told me.  “You need your nutrition.”

Yeah right!  But how much nutrition could an adult get from apple juice?  Some I guess.  Since it was a fruit juice, I guessed it had to be good for me.  I laid there and concentrated on sucking that stuff down.  And yes, it was relaxing.  Suck…out…suck…out…  The constant rhythm of my life.  Believe it or not, it relaxed me like nothing else.

“Nichole says to go night-night.”

 

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Nichole watched as he started automatically drinking again.  His nursing instinct was strong.  She found that to be funny since he was in reality an elderly man, not an infant.  “Suck and relax,” she coaxed him.  “Suck and relax.”  She let him finish the entire bottle before she pulled it away and stuck his pacifier in his mouth instead.  Again, the nursing instinct kicked in.  Very softly, she said, “You want to be a baby.  You love being a baby.  The more like a baby you are, the better.  You like to play with baby toys.  Other things and toys for older kids are of no interest to you.  You love the baby toys because you’re a baby.  And dollies are your favorite toys to play with.”

She gave him a brief moment, then said, “Suck and relax.  Suck and relax.”  A moment later she said, “From now on, anytime you talk or even think about peeing or messing, your mind is going to use the words pee-pee and poo-poo.  You will never even think about calling it anything else.  From now on, it’s always pee-pee and poo-poo.”

One by one, she began going down her list of commands that she had already instilled into his head.  A list she had memorized only because she…and the others…had been through it enough times to make sure that in the end it would contain everything they would need…and then some.

“You can no longer control or even feel whenever you need to go pee-pee or poo-poo….”  On and on she went, reminding him of the “right” way to count, and that he couldn’t go past ten.  He could no longer read words that were more than three letters, and finally the last one she had given him.  The one that was only in there because she decided she wanted it.  One the others didn’t know about, but she was sure they wouldn’t care.  Not that she cared if they liked it or not.  She was the one doing this to him, not them.  She reminded him that try as he might he would never be able to hump himself to an orgasm or even get hard.  Instead, he would have a spontaneous orgasm every time he messed his already soaked diapers, but since he was a baby, he would never know exactly what it was that had happened.  For some reason, she simply found that situation funny.

Finally, she reminded him of one final thing she had already told him, he would talk more about missing his wife and wanting to kill himself.  With that much done, she backed off for a few minutes.  “Suck and relax,” she whispered.  “Suck and relax.”

She let him soak up some relaxation to deepen his trance before she tackled the next thing on her list.  Something new, and perhaps the one single most important item of all.  And like everything else, she had to go about this very carefully.  “Baby,” she finally said.  “I want you to think about your son James.  I want you to picture him as a young boy, perhaps about ten or eleven years old.  Can you do that?”

Despite the pacifier plugging his lips, the word “Yes” managed to get out.

“Very good baby,” she replied.  “Now, whenever you think about him, I want you to picture him just like that, as a young boy.  Afterall, he is your son and that’s the best way to think of him.  As the boy you’ve always loved.  Right?”

“Yes,” he said again.

“Good.  Now baby,” she said.  “I want you to have some concerns about all your money.  I want you to realize that it doesn’t make sense for a young boy like that to be in charge of your money, does it.  You need an adult to do that.  Someone with more experience than a young child would have.  It’s silly for a young boy to try to do something so complicated.  So baby, listen carefully to this, from now on, you will feel much better about all your money if you had someone more qualified handling it.  Someone like Bill.  Bill is an accountant, remember?  He’s very good at handling people’s money, and you want him to handle yours for you too.  Baby, remember, you want Bill to handle all your money and affairs instead of James.  James is just a young boy.  Bill is an adult and a professional with money.  You feel much safer having Bill do it than James.  And I want you to tell everyone that as soon as they all get home.  Now baby, tell me.  Who is the best person to handle all your money, your young son James, or Bill, the professional?”

“Bill,” he told her.

“Very good baby.  Just lay there and think about that for a while.”

With that, she extricated herself from under him and went out to the kitchen to get another bottle for him.  A few minutes later, she had him sucking down yet another baby bottle of juice, making sure he would get plenty of experience in going pee-pee with no notice.

 

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All through my morning nap, I had something important on my mind.  Something that bothered me.  Something that I had done that was a big mistake.  I had allowed James to be the one handling all my financial affairs.  Why had I done that?  It was stupid.  James was my son.  My boy.  He was too young to be doing something like that, especially when we had a professional accountant living right here in the house – Bill!  I had been so dumb!

As I laid there, I decided I would rectify that mistake as soon as possible.  Tonight maybe.  In fact, definitely tonight!  Tonight, after everyone got home.  Maybe during dinner.  Yeah, that would be the perfect time.  Everyone would be there to witness that I wanted the change.  With that decision made, I felt much better about things, but I would feel better still once I had fixed the problem.

I was glad when Nichole finally came back in to release me from my prison…I mean my crib.  I noticed the glass in her hand.  One from the liquor cabinet.  She lowered my bars and said, “Go play!”  I watched her closely as I slid down from my crib to the floor.  Was she a bit tipsy?  No, she couldn’t have been.  Besides, it was still morning.  I crawled my way into my play area with her following me all the way.  She closed the gate behind me, as if that was supposed to lock me in.  “Have fun,” she wished me before she walked out of the room.

I was glad to see her leave.  So far, other than when she first changed my diaper, she hadn’t zapped me with her zapping thing, and the longer she stayed away, the less chance of that there was.  I looked around at my toys and smiled.  What should I play with?  I realized there was every chance that I could put the new dolly on the unicorn’s back, and the old dolly on the pink pigs back, and they could all race around the entire playpen.  I immediately got down to it.

I played with my toys for a little while, glad to be by myself in the nursery.  But she was back after a while.  She opened the gate and came all the way into my play area.  I noticed she was holding a book in her hand.  Was she going to read to me?  That wouldn’t be like her.

I sat there on the floor with my toys in front of me while I looked up at her.  After a moment, she knelt down next to me, but in getting down, she got a bit off balance and nearly fell.  She didn’t though.  “Hello baby,” she said.  I noticed the smell of liquor on her breath.  I couldn’t help but wonder how much she already had to drink.  “Let’s do something different today,” she told me.  She opened the book in her hand and held it out for me.  She pointed to the top of the page.  “Can you read this to me?  Please?” she asked…so sweetly.

I looked at the words in the book.  “Um…” I said as I tried to figure out what the fist word was.

“Can you find any words on that page you can read?” she asked me.

I let my eyes skip ahead.  I pointed to one of the words.  “I,” I said.  I found another word I recognized and pointed to it.  “And.”  A few words later, there was a third word.  “Was.”  I pushed the book away.  “I’m not interested,” I told her.  “If you want to read it, then go ahead.”

Instead of reading it to me though, she leaned forward and hugged me happily.  “Oh baby,” she said.  “You’re so precious!”

Yeah sure.  Who wanted to read that dumb book she had anyway.

“Come along baby,” she told me as she struggled to her feet.  “Lunchtime.”

Despite the fact that I knew I would be getting nothing but baby food to eat, I crawled my wet and stinky butt out of the play area and all the way into the kitchen.  Bib, plate, spoon, baby food.  My life.  Yuck!

 

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Nichole knew she shouldn’t, but she was simply having so much fun today.  He was responding to all her mental suggestions better than anyone had anticipated.  It was even better than all those con jobs she had pulled in college.  Consequently, she could see no reason not to have a few drinks like she had done back then too.  Besides, who would ever know?  Nobody!  Especially when she was done with him today.

She let him play for just a little while in his play area before she brought him out and started feeding him another bottle.  In minutes, she had him deeply into a trance and doing his best to drop even further as he continued to suck down the liquid.  This morning, she had gone over everything she had put into him already, so this time she took the time to remind him of just a few new things she was the most worried about, reducing his ability to read, and of course the biggest thing, he would want Bill to handle all his financial affairs from now on.  With that done, she felt free to start adding something new.  Something that the others thought was very important.

“Baby,” she said.  “Since you don’t like to read anymore, and in fact, you really can’t read much at all anymore, then there’s no reason for you to be able to write anything either.  So from now on I want you to completely forget how to write anything at all.  From now on you won’t be able to even sign your own name.  But then you’re a baby, why should you ever need to sign your name?  Babies don’t do things like that.”

She could just imagine how a baby would approach having to write something, and realized, they wouldn’t.  Ever!  “From now on,” she said, “you won’t even be able to remember how to hold a pen or pencil properly, and when you do pick one up, all you’ll be interested in doing is scribbling around on the page.  In fact, from now on, you much prefer to hold and color with crayons instead of using a pen or pencil.  But in truth, even crayons are a bit too old for a baby like you.  So that’s another thing you no longer have to worry about, writing.  You can forget about needing to write anything anymore.  It’s simply not anything you need to concern yourself with at all.  You can enjoy being a baby again.  You don’t need it.”

Since he was supposed to be living the life of a baby, she wondered if anyone would ever realize that writing anything was now beyond him.  She could just imagine someone asking him to sign his name, and watching him holding the pen wrong and scribbling around on the page instead.  Now that would be funny!

She got him another bottle, then while he was drinking it she did her usual reminding him that he would remember nothing of being hypnotized, but he would remember all the suggestions she had stuck into him.

She was going to do one more session with him that afternoon, but first, she needed another drink.  “Baby,” she said.  “Nichole says to wake up!  It’s time for your nap.”

 

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My Funny Farm - Chapter 22 – In the Frame

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 22 – In the Frame

 

You know, it’s weird.  I distinctly remember two times during the night when I woke up because I realized I was going pee-pee.  But it was only twice, and I didn’t pee-pee that much anymore, so how come now that it was morning and I was awake, my diaper was so soaking wet?  At least it wasn’t leaking…as if one of those huge nighttime diapers could possibly leak, which I was fairly sure they couldn’t.

Emily had delivered my usual morning bottle of baby formula to me, and I was just lying there sucking it in.  But lying there drinking your bottle gives you plenty of time to think.  And of course, a lot of the thinking I was doing was about me.  Or rather, me and this new life everyone expected me to live.

One thing I had noticed was that some days seemed to fly by faster than others.  Particularly those days when Nichole was there.  I wondered why that was, or even why it should seem that way.  But hey, I was supposed to be a baby, how the heck should I know?

But the days flying by weren’t the only thing that seemed to be happening quickly.  There were so many unexpected changes in me that had happened pretty fast as well…or at least it seemed like it to me.  For instance, all that worry about my diaper leaking and being careful to make sure I pee-peed and poo-pooed at the slightest urge must have had more of an effect on me than I expected, because suddenly I not only never knew when I was going to have to go pee-pee or poo-poo, but when it did suddenly happen, I was enjoying every brief moment of it.  And then there were those baby toys I had hated so much.  Now I was not only enjoying playing with those colorful things, I was looking forward to it.  They were all strange changes in me that I never expected.  Oh, and one other thing too that I never expected.  I didn’t seem to mind those changes in me at all.  In fact, I liked them.  They made me…happy.  Who knew?

Rachel, don’t worry, I’m still coming.  Just as soon as I can!  I promise!

For some reason that I had never bothered to think much about, I was starting to like the loving care that Caitlin gave me more than any of the others.  Yeah, I liked Emily too, but for some reason Caitlin’s touch was starting to be special to me.  Someday that woman was going to make a great mother…if she could ever get rid of me, and I already had a plan for that.  It’s called suicide.

Wonder of wonders, I got bacon and eggs for breakfast that day, just like Emily, Caitlin, and of course Bill.  I just ate mine from a more colorful plate and had a funny looking spoon to eat it with.  I wondered if they should be jealous of that.  Caitlin and Emily maybe, but not Bill.  He was too…depressing.  Why did Caitlin love him so much?

After breakfast, I was heading for the nursery where Caitlin was going to change my overly soaked diaper, when I got a huge surprise.  Right there in the middle of the living room, I went poo-poo in a major way.  I stood still, totally surprised by it, and totally enjoying it.  Darn that felt good.  When it was done though, I took two whole steps, and had to stand still once again as my body was suddenly wracked by the most wonderful feeling I could ever imagine, and it seemed to be happening to all those parts of me inside my huge stinky diaper.  When it was over, I was breathing a bit harder and trying to figure out what had happened.

Caitlin was watching me and chuckling.  “It looks like the stinkies hit somebody twice!” she laughed.  “Come on baby.  Let’s get you cleaned up.”

The stinkies hit me twice?  Maybe.  I just wasn’t absolutely certain about that second time.  But what else could it have been?  I followed her into the nursery where she soon had my very stinky diaper off me.  Very shortly, I was in a nice thick comfy diaper and sitting with a bottle of that chocolate vitamin drink in front of my morning cartoons.  It didn’t take too long before I went pee-pee a bit in that diaper, which pleased me for a few reasons, one of which was that the diapers were a whole lot more fun when they were a little wet.

Nichole never exactly followed my daily schedule, but Caitlin did.  When TV time was over, it was back to the nursery to play with the toys.  And yes, I had learned that playing with the toys was a whole lot more interesting than watching those lousy cartoons.

As often happened when I was in my play area, Caitlin joined me.  I expected her to play with me, but she seemed to have other ideas.  Ideas that involved something colorful in her hand that immediately scared me to death…sort of.  She laid down on the floor with me and said, “Baby, you’ve been such a good baby for us lately that we think you deserve some rewards.  We’re going to get you a few more toys to play with, and we can’t do it today, but starting tomorrow, if you want, you can have an extra half-hour of computer time.  Won’t that be nice?”

My eyes were still glued to what she had in her hand.  “Yes,” I replied.  “The toys would really be good.”

She laughed a bit, leaned forward and hugged me briefly, but my eyes stayed locked on what was in her hand.

“And today I’ve got another reward for you,” she told me.  “I’m going to paint your fingernails and make them all as pretty as can be.”

Yeah, I was afraid she was going to do that.  What else would she be doing with several bottles of colorful nail polish in her hand?

“And baby, don’t even ask to get out of it, you don’t have a choice.  I’m going to put these pretty colors on your fingers whether you like it or not.”  She giggled.  “But baby, I already know that deep down inside you’re really looking forward to it.”

Was I?  Was it possible that she knew me better than I knew myself?  I doubted it.  But…yeah, she was right.  She was also wrong though, because while it might be fun to wear that stuff in the comfort of my own house, today was Tuesday, which meant we would be going to see Doctor Clive later that day, which meant that she was purposely doing this today to humiliate me.  That I could do without!

“Now lay still there and stretch out your fingers for me,” she told me.

I was about to protest, when I remembered what she had just said.  I wasn’t going to have a choice I the matter.  Would they really take me back to that behavioral center just because I refused to let her put nail polish on my fingers?  Somehow, I doubted that.  But still, she had been right about something too.  A very deep part of me was…uh…interested.  I laid on my tummy and stretched my fingers out on the floor.  Very soon, she was applying light blue polish to every other finger.  The blue was followed by yellow polish to the other fingers.

“So pretty!” she exclaimed when she was done.

Pretty?  I’m glad she thought so.  My aged male hands looked anything but pretty.  The word ridiculous came to mind far more than the word pretty.  She made me keep my fingers stretched out for a few minutes while she blew on them to get them to dry faster, but soon I was back to playing with my toys again.  Just that constant sight of the alternating blue and yellow fingertips nearly drove me crazy…crazier than I already was.  If I had to keep looking at that nail polish on my hands much longer, I was going to need to be in that behavioral center.  Rachel, don’t look!  I can’t help it.  They’re making me do all this.

I had been through Caitlin taking me to see Doctor Clive before, so the preparation for that trip didn’t surprise me at all.  I didn’t get a dress this time, she opted for one of those short skirt outfits instead.  I wondered if anyone had mentioned to Caitlin that it was starting to get cold outside this time of year.  But Caitlin I guess had that covered since she added a white cardigan sweater to my outfit.

And then came that long wig again.  Remember that?  I certainly did.  The wig that had hair so long it kept blocking my sight.  Although at the same time, it kept me from seeing the faces of some of the people around me.  Caitlin spent a few moments adjusting the wig on my head, and then added something new, hairclips.  She stuck two white plastic hairclips on my head, one on each side, to hold the hair back.  I felt more foolish than ever, but at least I could see.

And off we went!  Most days, I didn’t do much walking around.  When Nichole was there, I didn’t walk anywhere – period!  But now I was expected to do a lot of walking.  Let me tell you, after spending so much time in those really thin diapers that Nichole seemed to like so much, the thicker one I was wearing couldn’t be ignored, and not because of anything that had already leaked into it.  I noticed that diaper with every step I took.  I couldn’t not notice it.  It was…infuriating.  Okay, yes, it was also fun!  I loved it!  Just don’t tell anyone, okay?

We arrived at Doctor Clive’s office, and it wasn’t long before I left Caitlin behind and went in to talk with her.  I couldn’t help but notice the smile on her face when I went in and closed the door behind me.  A smile and…yes, she was trying very hard not to laugh.

“You look very pretty today,” she told me.

I stared at her.  She had to be nuts!  I was an old man dressed as…yeah, I guess a sissy baby was as close as I could come.  It was just Caitlin’s version of a sissy.  I didn’t say anything, I just sat down.

Her face turned serious.  “Craig,” she said.  “Do you still feel like someone in your family is out to get you?”

“Absolu…”  Damn!  I pulled the pacifier from my mouth.  I had forgotten it was there.  “Absolutely!” I told her.  “I know nobody believes me, but trust me, it’s true!”

She nodded.  “I’m so sorry to hear you still feel that way.  Has anything new happened to make you think your family is still conspiring against you?”

I had to think about that.  “Anything new?”  I shook my head.  “Fortunately, no.  Not as far as I can see.  But I know they’re all against me.”

She nodded, then said, “I believe it’s all in your mind, but I’ll go this far with you, you tell me as soon as you see anything at all that worries you about what they’re doing with you.  Anything!  Is that clear?”

I held up my fingers to show off my multicolored nail polish.  “Does the way they’re forcing me to live count?”

She smiled and shook her head.  “Craig, your entire treatment centers around this new life they’ve designed for you.  A life where they want you to be as stress free as possible.  Which is one of the reasons I’m so sorry to hear about you believing that everyone is out to get you, as you put it.”

“Trust me,” I told her.  “Going out anywhere, like here or to the grocery store, is anything but stress free when you’re dressed like this!”

She chuckled.  “I can imagine,” she replied.  “But that’s the life they warned you about.  How is it going by the way?  Any progress in getting used to it?”

I considered that, but I didn’t need to consider it long.  “Believe it or not, and trust me, it’s very hard for me to believe, but yes, there are things there that I’m starting to enjoy.”

She leaned forward, completely interested.  “Like what?”

“Well, naps, for one thing.  One in the morning and one in the afternoon used to be a bit much, but now….  Let’s just say they’re not so bad.”

“Anything else?” she asked.

“Yeah, the most unbelievable thing of all.”

“And what’s that?”

“Playing!”

“Playing?”

“With all those baby toys.  Up until recently, I hated them with a passion.  I didn’t play with them at all.  I only pretended to play with them when someone was around.  But now…  It’s weird.  I’m really starting to enjoy playing with them.  Don’t ask me why, but I do.  It’s fun.  I used to hate all those playtimes in my schedule, but now those periods are some of the best parts of my day.”

She seemed particularly happy to hear that.  “Oh Craig,” she said.  “I’m so glad to hear that.  All those play periods are in your schedule to try and stimulate your imagination.”

“My imagination?  With baby toys?”

“Yes!  Craig, it’s the way of life.  We all go through it.  When you were little, you played with toys and used your imagination one way.  When you got older, your imagination changed to a more grownup version that was different and more mature than when you were a young child.  But the older you got, the less imagination you used or needed.  And Craig, if you can’t imagine a life without your wife Rachel, then we’re never going to get you over this horrible obsession with wanting to kill yourself.”

“I don’t want to get over it!” I told her.  “I want to die.  I want to end this stupid life.  I want to be with Rachel again.”

“I know that,” she told me.  “But Craig, despite what you think of the situation, an attitude like that isn’t healthy.”

“I don’t want it to be healthy.  If I’m dead, then that’s about as healthy as I can get!  And if I can’t imagine a life without Rachel, then so be it.  And despite the fact that I’m starting to enjoy some of those dumb toys, I don’t see any way at all that they can help me with the fact that Rachel is gone now.  Forever!”

“No way they can help you?” she said.  “Craig, think about it.  Somewhere along the way you lost your imagination.  You need to rebuild it.  But if you can’t find anything interesting about the most simple things in life, like those toys, then how are you ever going to be able to handle all the chaos of normal grownup life?”

I had lost my imagination?  I didn’t bother telling her I had plenty of imagination.  My imagination put me back together again with Rachel, just in her world instead of this one.  But who would ever believe me?  No one in this world at all.

A short while later, my worst fears came to life when I realized that Caitlin was pulling the car into the parking lot of the dreaded grocery store.

“Behave yourself again!” Caitlin cautioned me.  “Don’t give me any trouble.”

I said nothing, but I was sucking my pacifier harder than usual.  She opened my door and unbuckled my seatbelt, and pulled me out of the car.  Ooo!  Cold wind on my legs!  She took me by the hand and led me into the store.   I didn’t need to be told to keep both hands on the handle of the shopping cart at all times.  The darn hairclips in my head made sure I couldn’t miss all the strange looks that people were giving me.  I did my best to keep my eyes on the shopping cart in front of me and nowhere else.

As always, Caitlin did a few diaper checks on me in the store.  “Who’s being such a good baby,” she whispered happily as my diaper grew gradually wetter…as if I could help it.  I was so glad to get out of there and back home again where my toys were waiting for me.

Caitlin kept me dressed the way I had been for the rest of the day, including that wig.  At one point, she even joined me on the floor of my play area and played with me.  That was fun.  Now that the dreaded outing was over with, it was almost like she was trying to make up for taking me out and giving me extra attention…which I loved.

 

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It was late in the day when Detective Kinsley had a moment to check in on what was happening with Craig Bryson.  On her computer, she typed in the web address for the special picture frame they had installed in his room the night before.  It took a few moments to download all the videos, but she soon started going through them.  The motion detector on the picture frame only recorded when there was something going on in the room, which was pretty much anytime someone was in there.

She saw Emily waking him up and giving him a bottle to drink.  A bit later, she saw Caitlin changing his diaper.  The next video showed him coming back into the room where he went into his fenced in area and started playing with the toys.  She saw Caitlin go into the area with him and lay on the floor with him.  She didn’t miss the hug she gave him lying right there on the floor.  She had to turn the video volume way up to hear what she was saying, but she heard every word of her telling him she was going to paint his fingernails.  She watched with concern as she did just that, using two different colors on him.

She knew for a fact that Craig was scheduled to meet with her sister for his weekly appointment that day.  She considered the addition of the nail polish to be for no other reason than to increase his humiliation, adding to the mental abuse they were all forcing on him.

Later, she saw the way Caitlin dressed him to go out, including adding a wig.  More evidence of mental abuse as far as she was concerned.  Craig needed to be away from all those people and needed to be put into that mental facility.  Unfortunately, the treatment he was getting was all part of some warped fantasy world that everyone claimed was supposed to actually help him.  Not that she could see.  In fact, all she could see was mental abuse of the worst order.  There was just nothing she could do about it.

She had to admit though, other than the way Caitlin had dressed him to go out, everything else she had seen her doing was nice, surprisingly loving care.  But more importantly, other than the way he had been dressed to go out, she saw no evidence of any kind of conspiracy against him at all.  She closed the last video and stored them all away into a computer folder labeled Craig Bryson.

 

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Ho-hum…  Life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be glad to see those nice young men in their clean white coats.  And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha.  Except there were no men in clean white coats, and I certainly hoped they weren’t coming to take me away.  But I was aware that they had threatened me with it if I didn’t do what they wanted.

Still, life was beautiful and…yeah.  I was beginning to find that life as a surreal baby wasn’t too bad.  Like they all claimed they wanted, I had literally nothing to worry about, not even leaky diapers.  Uh…I did worry about Nichole and her painful toys, but I guess I could consider the rest of my life to be beautiful as long as I could stay home and not go to the grocery store like I had with Caitlin yesterday!

Most of my day on Wednesday was absolutely normal.  Most of it was exactly the same schedule I had grown used to.  Most of it.  There was one very minor change however.  That afternoon, Caitlin told me that since I had been such a good baby that if I wanted, I could have an extra half hour of computer time instead of spending so much time playing with my toys.  Now here’s the part that surprised me the most.  I had somehow learned to enjoy playing with those toys so much that I had to seriously consider if I would rather spend more time on the computer, or more time with my toys.  In the end though, I considered that computer time was almost like having more grown-up time, like when I did my evening chores every day.  So I opted for the extra time watching the porn I seemed to enjoy so much.

As always though, after the computer time, it was bottle time then nap time.  And my afternoon nap times were something I always looked forward to, especially after I got to spend some quality time on my computer watching…well, you know.  Caitlin fed me my bottle lying on the couch, and yes, it was so relaxing I nearly fell asleep right there, but I was wide, wide awake as soon as she moved me into my crib and raised the bars on my jail…I mean my bed.

As soon as Caitlin left the room, I went to work.  This was the fun part.  Porn, bottle, wet diaper, and fun time humping my mattress.  And trust me, I went after it.  Except…I tried and tried, and nothing happened.  I wanted it to happen badly.  I wanted the fun, the excitement, the rewarding orgasm.  But all I got instead was a lot of nothing.  My damn cock wouldn’t even get hard.  In fact, as far as I could tell, it was about as soft and tiny as it could possibly be.  I kept trying though.  I kept rubbing, kept pushing, but eventually I realized that all my effort was going to be for nothing.  It was simply going to be one of those days when things just weren't going to work.  Oh well.  I figured that I was supposed to be a baby, and babies didn’t do those things.  I probably shouldn’t have been doing it anyway.  Disappointed, I closed my eyes, concentrated on sucking my pacifier, and fell asleep.  Yeah, naps were still pretty good.  This one just could have been a bit better.

 

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Like the day before, it was late in the afternoon before Detective Kinsley could download the videos that the picture frame had been storing.  After seeing the videos yesterday, nothing she saw gave her any alarm.  She didn’t miss watching him trying to hump his crib for a few minutes, but she soon skipped over that.  It wasn’t worth watching and she wasn’t interested in watching it.

Like she had concluded the day before, there was no conspiracy against him.  In fact, she was beginning to commend Caitlin’s loving care of him.  She guessed she needed to include Emily’s care of him too once she got home from work.  But a conspiracy?  She saw no sign of it, other than trying to reduce him down to complete babyhood, which as far as she was concerned, was all the proof she needed of something major going wrong.