Success or Failure

Hi All,

Last night started out a whole lot different than I planned. I got “one of those” phone calls on my way home from work and had to deal with an ongoing family matter that has plagued me for the last fifteen years. I won’t say more about it because it makes me furious!!!

Anyway, after I finally got home, I almost cancelled all my plans. But… I decided to go ahead anyway. My original plan was to get home from work and then spend an hour and a half getting my body into “wetting mode.” Then try to get a diaper leaking within a two hour time limit. Well, the first part, preparing for it was already out the window by the time I got home, but I decided to try anyway. If I didn’t make it, I was going to spend a minute on the perch for every minute extra over the two hour time limit it took get the diaper to leak.

I put my single diaper on at 7:40 PM. I did it exactly the way I always do when I wear only one diaper. I made sure it was nice and tight and snug all over – just as usual. No cheating. Then I hit the iced tea and the water – in serious amounts! Actually, I had already started on the iced tea as soon as I got home. After thirty minutes, I couldn’t believe that I still hadn’t wet one little bit. And at that point I started pushing, trying to make myself pee. As the time went on, I never stopped pushing and trying.

I don’t think I peed the first time till about the forty five minute point. But just once isn’t nearly enough. I was gulping down water in record amounts and constantly trying everything I could do to pee. It’s amazing how having that deadline can put you into a panic and make you do things you never thought you would. Not only did I not hold back, I was actively pushing and trying to do everything possible to make myself pee for the entire time.

Eventually, I started peeing more and more. And I kept watching the clock more and more, especially as the time limit grew shorter and shorter. By the hour and a half point my diaper was certainly very wet, but was still a long way from leaking. I was getting really worried then and pushed even harder. I also drank even more. And I did keep wetting more and more frequently. But since I was pushing constantly, I was wetting frequently but in small amounts. Still, overall, I was wetting a lot.

At ten minutes to go I was really afraid I wasn’t going to make it. I did manage to pee though quite a bit in the next few minutes. At five minutes to go I knew my diaper was getting close… but how could I do anything more to make it leak than what I was already doing? The panic was really hitting me then. So close!

Every single minute was like torture. I was trying so hard. My diaper was so close. Just before the deadline, I felt myself peeing a little bit again, but nothing. And my diaper was so saturated. I had failed!

With my water glass empty, I immediately headed down the steps to refill it again, and I felt myself peeing again as I went down. And then, at the bottom of the steps, I noticed something that I should have noticed earlier – the outside of my diaper at the leg opening felt a bit odd – possibly wet. I reached down and touched it. It was wet! Had I been leaking earlier and didn’t know it? I was possible, but I just didn’t know for sure. So for the record, I’m judged myself to be two minutes late. I continued into the kitchen, filled my water glass, and had to consume quite a bit of it, even though I didn’t want or need it anymore – because it was time to take my nightly pills. Ugh!

So that’s what happened there. I didn’t make it… but I did. You be the judge. Anyway, I confirmed two things for the story. One, it is possible to get a diaper leaking in two hours or less. And two, just having that time limit actually forced me to keep pushing and to not hold back one bit. So from that standpoint, what’s happening in the story – is possible. Hooray!

I had planned on going to bed after that and listening to my hypno recording again, but for some reason, I wasn’t the least bit tired. I changed out of my single “leaking” diaper and put four diapers on for bedtime – knowing that it was going to be a very wet night. Since I wasn’t tired, I went back to the computer because thinking about my hypnotic recording made me curious about some of the other files on the Warp My Mind site – where I got the files I have now.

Oh, and it was Tricia who asked what hypnosis files I’ve been listening to. A long time ago I purchased three files from Warp My Mind. All of them were done by Mind Master: Bladder Retraining, Baby Acceptance, and Baby Behaviors (Revised). I never listen to the first one. I think the second one is by far the most affective. But this time I’m trying to listen to the last one since it has some baby behaviors on it other than just wetting all the time. Unfortunately, it’s about a forty minute tape and there aren’t all that many behaviors.

Anyway, I downloaded a bunch of their free files that I got curious about while I was searching for files to affect baby behavior. I listened to three of them last night, only one of which I liked. I have more to go through tonight. But as they say – you get what you pay for and these were free.

My normal bedtime is around ten o’clock. But last night I didn’t turn the light off till after twelve thirty. And yes, I was wetting profusely all the time before that! And… I was wetting profusely all the time after that. In fact, I was wetting a little bit at a time almost constantly. But it was so easy I barely noticed I was doing it! And I slept! I’m fairly sure I was wetting myself in my sleep! No, I know that I was! I did pull myself out of sound sleep a number of times and noticed I was still wetting very frequently.

About three thirty in the morning, I started to get concerned about how wet my four diapers already were – and I was still peeing. I didn’t notice any leeks but I was really getting worried about it. I was still peeing so much it was almost ridiculous. So I decided to get up and change out of the four diapers into two more to finish the night. It’s a good thing I did because – I was leaking! Not around the leg-band or at the sides where I normally leak, but over the top at my waist – in several places. The rest of the diaper(s) were so wet that it was ridiculous. My t-shirt I was wearing on top was wet too. It’s amazing I didn’t feel it. Fortunately, my sheet was only a tiny bit wet – amazingly.

So I changed into two fresh diapers – and went back to sleep till five-thirty when I got up, posted the latest on The Bet, and started exercising – in my now very soaked two diapers.

Yes, I’m again wearing one of the pull up diapers at work because I was afraid I might have an accident, but fortunately, no problems (yet).

By the way, sorry, but there will be no pictures. I got the tripod out last night and all set up, then I went to grab the camera and discovered that my wife had taken it with her. I’m disappointed because I really wanted to show you one of the pairs of shoes I got – they’re really pretty.

Oh well, that’s the way it goes. And speaking of going, I’ve gone on way, way too long.

Think happy thoughts today everyone,
Karen