Karen’s Twelve Days of Christmas

Karen’s Twelve Days of Christmas

Please join our chorus and sing along with the rest of us. 

(I’m sure most of you can figure out what ancient carol to sing this to)

On the first day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

A mistress to take control of me.

On the second day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the third day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Three pretty dresses,

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the fourth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Four lacy garters,

Three pretty dresses,

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the fifth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

FIVE GOLD EARRINGS!

Four lacy garters,

Three pretty dresses,

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the sixth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Six padded braziers,

ONE BIG NOSE RING!

HUH??? 

Four lacy garters,

Three pretty dresses,

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the seventh day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Seven pairs of stockings

Six padded braziers,

FIVE GOLD EARRINGS!

Four sexy garters,

That’s supposed to be LACY garters, people!

Three French maid dresses,

Not again!

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the eighth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Eight pairs of high heels,

Seven pairs of stockings,

Six locked on diapers,

ONE BIG NOSE RING!

Someone’s been at it at it again!

Four sexy garters,

That’s LACY garters!

Three pretty dresses,

Two pairs of handcuffs,

And a mistress to take control of me.

On the ninth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Nine ballet lessons,

Eight locking high heels,

Someone’s cruzin’ for a bruzin’ if they don’t stop messing with my song!

Seven pairs of stockings,

Six padded braziers,

ONE BIG NOSE RING!

I’m going to kill whoever’s doing this!

Four sexy garters

Three French maid’s dresses

Two lifelike breast forms

And a cock cage that’s way too small for me.

Now where did THAT come from?

On the tenth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

I wish I could take control of this song again!

Ten inch hair extensions,

Nine ballet lessons,

Eight locking high heels,

Seven pairs of stockings,

Six locked on diapers,

FIVE GOLD EARRINGS!

Four tight laced corsets,

Three pretty dresses,

Two pairs of handcuffs,

And a mistress to take control of me.

People please!  This is MY SONG!  Now try to get it right!

On the eleventh day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Eleven tubes of lipstick,

Ten inch hair extensions,

Nine chains a rattling,

Eight locking high heels,

You just can’t reason with some people!

Seven pairs of stockings,

Six padded braziers,

ONE BIG NOSE RING!

I’m going to give someone a big PUNCH in the nose!

Four tight laced corsets

Three pretty dresses,

Two lifelike breast forms,

And a cock cage that’s way too small for me.

Come on people.  Please?  For me?   It’s the last chorus.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Twelve pairs of panties,

Eleven tubes of lipstick,

Ten inch hair extensions,

Nine ballet lessons,

Eight pairs of high heels,

Seven pairs of stockings,

Six padded braziers,

FIVE GOLD EARRINGS!

Four lacy garters,

Three pretty dresses,

Two lifelike breast forms,

AND A CHANCE TO WEAR IT ALL AND JUST BE ME!

Whew!  Finally!

On the thirteenth day of Christmas,

I wish I could receive,

Hey! Stop!  The songs over!  There are only twelve days of Christmas!

Thirteen ropes for tying,

Twelve gags a choking,

Eleven whips a whipping,

Ten paddler’s paddling,

Nine chains a rattling,

Eight locking high heels,

Seven ruined orgasms,

Six locked on diapers,

ONE BIG NOSE RING!

Four tight laced corsets,

Three French maid dresses,

Two pairs of handcuffs,

AND A COCK CAGE THAT’S WAY TOO SMALL FOR ME!

Oh brother!  That’s the last time I ever try to write a Christmas Carol!

Merry Christmas anyway,

Karen