Sissy Bells / Carol of the Bells

Okay people.  Thank you for coming out to join me in singing Christmas carols and spreading a bit of Christmas cheer.  Now last year we tried this, and if you’ll remember, someone hijacked my nice lovely version of The Twelve Days of Christmas and completely ruined it.  I’m not pointing any fingers!  I just don’t want it to happen again.

Because of that, I’ve decided that we’re going to stick strictly to the traditional words for our Christmas songs, so everyone should know the words and everyone can join in singing.  And for our first song, we’re going to do a real easy one – Jingle Bells.  Now I know everyone knows the words to that.  The right words!

Now gather around and let’s all practice an enthusiastic version of Jingle Bells before we go out caroling and spreading our Christmas cheer.  Ready?

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way.

Great people, keep it up.  And whoever brought the jingle bells, great job!

Oh what fun it is to ride on a big cock when you’re gay.

Hey!  Who put that in there!  Keep those jingle bells going, they’re great!

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way

Oh what fun it is to cum in the sissy backdoor way.

Hey!  Stop that!  Wait a minute people.  Stop singing.  Everyone just stop!  I’m not going to go let this happen again.

Okay, now where did these new words come from?  Huh?  Who’s trying to ruin this lovely Christmas song this time?  Where’s the culprit?  You?  You in the back?  Come up here and let’s talk about this.  Um…  Oh, you’re the one with the jingle bells.  Lots of jingle bells I see.  Tons of them.  Um…do you think you can mince a bit faster?  We haven’t got all day. 

Um…  Wow!  That’s a lot of bells you’ve got there.  Um…uh…I’m just not sure that a pink maid’s dress and pink high heels is the best thing to wear for Christmas caroling and spreading Christmas cheer.

. . .

Uh…you’ve got your own version of spreading Christmas cheer.  I should have known.  Please put your tongue back in your mouth, and try to keep it there.  What’s your name dear?

. . .

Carol?  Well Carol, do you have a last name?  Or at least another name?

. . .

Carol of the Bells.  I see.  Of course.  I should have known.  I’m not even going to ask if you have a favorite Christmas song. 

. . .

Yes, I was guessing it would be that.  Carol of the Bells.  Maybe we can sing that another time.

. . .

But you like any song with bells in it.  I have no doubt.  But for now we’re going to sing Jingle…um…uh…  Say Carol, just how many bells are you wearing anyway? 

. . .

A hundred!  Really?  You’re kidding.  Let me see.  There’s...um…how many are on each of those wrist band’s you’ve got on?

. . .

Five?  Okay, so for both wrists, that makes ten.  And your ankle cuffs?

. . .

Six jingle bells each.  So that brings the total to twenty two.  And I see three bells on the toes of each of your pink high heels.  So that’s twenty eight.  And how many are on that neck choker you’re wearing?

. . .

Ten?  So that’s thirty eight.  And how many are on the belt around your waist?

. . .

Twenty five?  Okay.  So I guess that brings the total to sixty three.  And of course I see…how many…five on the tips of each of your breasts.  So that’s seventy three.  And…um…okay, you’ve got two big ones hanging down from those ribbons below your skirt.  So that’s seventy five.  And…um…hey, just what are those ribbons attached to anyway?  …  No!  Don’t…don’t…

. . .

Your balls.  I’m sorry I asked.  Please lower your skirt again Carol.  I’ve seen enough.  But Carol, that’s only seventy five.  I don’t see anymore, and you said a hundred.  Now do you want to revise that number you just gave me?  Huh?

. . .

No, you don’t?  Then where’s the other twenty five jingle bells?  …  Carol…  Carol…  What are you doing?  …  No, don’t.  Carol…

. . .

Oh my God.  You’ve got the handle to the sleigh bell shaker from the percussion section stuck up your ass.  I’m so sorry I asked.  So yes, that’s a full one hundred jingle bells you’ve got there.  Remarkable!  Carol, I think you better stand up straight again and pull your skirt down over those…bells in your ass.  Whew!

So Carol, please tell me, why do you want to ruin this lovely Christmas song? 

. . .

You’re not ruining it?  You’re making it better?  But this is a traditional song.  A great song.  One everyone loves.

. . .

They’ll love it even more you’re way?  I’m not so sure.  Now Carol, I’m the one in charge here, not you!  So we’re going to do it my way.  The right way!  Got that?  Good!  Now please go to the back of the group again, like maybe on the other side of the Christmas tree.  …  Goodness!  You give a whole new meaning to, ‘Mincing Around the Christmas Tree.’

. . .

Oh?  That’s another of your favorite songs?  I have no doubt! 

Okay people, now that we’ve got that straightened out, let’s take this wonderful Christmas song from the top…and do it right!  Ready?  And a one, and a two…

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingle all the way.

Oh people, you are so good!  Yes Carol, you’re bells are good too.

Red high heels and stockings feel so good we just can’t say

People!  Stop that!  What are you doing?

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, join us in the fun

You’ll feel so good especially when your Mistress lets you cum.

I hope you’re all finished with your fun.  Now can we please do it right?

Mincing round the house,

I’m going to kill someone again.

As ordered by my spouse.

Say what?

I clean and cook all day, while she goes out to play

I’m going to send some of you out of here – to the moon!

My cock is locked up tight, and not just for the night

It hasn’t seen the light of day since she threw the key away.

Oh…Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, jingling loud and clear

I guess there’s just no winning with you people, is there!

Lets you know without a doubt, every time I’m near

Jingle Bells, Sissy Bells, join us in the fun

Swish and sway the sissy way, just don’t expect to cum

A day or two ago, she tied me up so tight

She stuffed my mouth so full, I couldn’t scream my fright

And then her boyfriend came, together they made love

They laughed at me and kept me tied in wet diapers for the night

Oh…Sissy Bells, Sissy Bells, they give me no choice

I can’t make a single move without making lots of noise

Sissy Bells, Sissy Bells, ringing out my plight

Bringing cheer to all who hear and enjoy my sissy life.

Next year I’ve just gotta hire better singers.  Merry Christmas everyone.