By Mike
Epilogue
One Last First
I mentioned
having my last first date. That life was full of firsts and just as many lasts.
The day Linda had released nuclear Armageddon on my life was the last day I
ever saw her. Following our divorce, the day we’d both stood in front of a
judge with our lawyers by our side should have been the last day I had laid
eyes upon her, but life has a way of intermingling surprises between its firsts
and lasts. She had come marching into my office with vicious animosity and had
set my life on fire, before marching out the door just as fast never to be seen
again.
Arriving home
that night I waited for Peyton, texting her brief snippets of my day. At that
point, feeling defeated, ashamed, angry, scared, frustrated and who knows what
else had left me longing for something positive, something that I could grasp
onto for support and comfort and that something was a someone. Peyton. Since
the day I’d met her she had been there for me. She pushed me into going to work
dressed as a woman, but I wasn’t just any woman, I was her woman and that
possessiveness made it something far grander.
She came rushing
into my house and raced into my arms. I hugged her, clutching her like a
drowning man grasps a life raft. My
hands dug into her sides and I felt the tears on my cheek moisten the shoulder
of her scrubs. “It’ll be okay, Sweetness,” she cooed and just hearing her say
her pet name in that kind tone she had seemed to overpower the angry way that
Linda had said it hours earlier. How could one word, spoken by two different women,
have such differing meaning? “Tell me
what happened.” Her voice was soft and sweet and full of warmth, compassion,
tenderness and concern all at once.
I replayed the
day, leaving nothing out. Why should I? At that point I had no secrets from
Peyton. None at all. I paused long enough to ponder that. Linda had known about
my panties but not that there were times that I thought of wearing more. I had
kept secrets from Linda and never once had I thought of hiding anything from
Peyton. There was something to that. Something powerful, like I knew before I
really knew that Peyton and I were destined for the long term. That I’d grow
old with her and she with me.
I told her about
Jack and the disgusted look on his face as he stormed out shouting, “I quit!” I
told her about Linda coming in and assaulting me with her phone, taking damning
picture after damning picture and sending them to my parents, my sisters, my
clients. I told her about Linda posting the pictures on her Facebook page and
linking the photos to my LinkedIn account. “Before I left today not a single
person who knows me was kept out of Linda’s damned loop.”
Peyton held me,
cooing into my wig.
I let her hold
me taking the comfort she was offering. I felt the stress of the day diminish;
it would take months before it faded fully, but before we stopped for dinner, I
was feeling better and the looks Peyton gave me told me that I had not weakened
her at all. That old saying came to mind, something about a problem shared was
a problem halved, but seeing how Peyton helped me without showing so much as a
nick in her armor told me that maybe the math was a little more lopsided. A
problem shared was a problem resolved seemed more accurate.
I told her about
the customers I lost, first to Jack and then to prejudice. She took it all in,
comforting me with a word or a touch or a smile or a kiss. “It’ll be okay,” she
said as we washed the dinner dishes. “You’ll bounce back from this,
easy-peasy.”
“How do you
know?”
“Because I know
you, Sweetness. I know the man you are no matter what you’re wearing. I know
the compassion you share for your staff; I know the resolve you possess. I know
you and you’ll get through this and come out even better.”
I wanted to
doubt her but there was a conviction in her tone that gave me pause. I had
built my business from nothing and it had made me wealthy. I enjoyed what I
did, and I was good at it. Maybe Peyton was right. So what if I had to build
anew. The staff that remained were loyal and good and my reputation was solid.
The customers that left were closed-minded and maybe it would be good to branch
out in a new, forward-thinking way. It’s not like I had a choice. You can’t
change the past, but you could look to the future.
Over the next
nine weeks my business solidified. The idea I had had after the mass exodus had
been simple. I advertised myself. I poured a bit of money back into the company
and ran a few print ads coming out as Louise. It seemed to work. I gained two
new clients and hired a new salesman. Her name was Meredith and she had just
left one of the big companies in New York.
You know the kind, the ones who make commercials for the Super Bowl. She
had just transferred to the area and needed a job and my outfit was the only
one she wanted. She chose me because of the way I dressed. “My wife is going to
love you, Louise,” she said following her interview. I couldn’t want to meet
her.
After hiring
Meredith my business grew again. Six weeks after hiring Meredith I was back to
needing to expand my staff again. Meredith helped with that, too, brining in
clients from her old big-city business. It turned out Peyton had been right.
Rebounding had been easy-peasy. Mostly. At the onset I had lost a bit of sleep
but that had now passed, and the future looked bright.
I had thought
going to work as a woman would be the biggest of firsts. It wasn’t. It was the
second biggest.
With my business
back to a new, better normal and my staff no longer phased by how I dressed,
and my personal life damned near perfect, I had a revelation. I was sitting in
my office, working on a new proposal for a new print ad for deodorant when it
hit me. My mind had wandered to where it always did when I was working on
autopilot: Peyton. What had started out with a deliciously wicked introduction
had blossomed into the best relationship of my life. Peyton, more than anything
else, was the most important thing in my life. If my business hadn’t recovered,
I know I would have been okay because Peyton was with me.
Casting aside
thoughts of deodorant I picked up the phone.
After work I
drove to Peyton’s house. She was still in her scrubs. I was wearing a
cream-colored blouse with a dark maroon skirt. Two strands of pearls encircled
my neck and matching earrings adorned my lobes. I no longer wore a wig. My own
hair had grown out long enough that I now had bimonthly appointments to get it
coiffed and styled. Next week I was going to add some auburn highlights because
Peyton had seen the color in a magazine and decided it would look good on me.
And since she was still in charge, and always would be, my hair would be
changed to suit her mood. I was her Barbie doll and I was okay with that. “Go
change,” I said, “we’re going out.”
Peyton went to
change. She came out of the bedroom in a simple floral dress that ended just
above the knee. She was wearing two-inch heels. It was another one of the rules
she had put in place. Not only was my cock still trapped in its prison, but now
it was mandated that whenever we went out my heels had to be higher than hers.
She got a thrill out of that and to tell the truth, so did I. In fact, my
lowest heel was still taller than Peyton’s highest.
I drove to the
restaurant where I’d called ahead for a reservation. It wasn’t exactly a
five-star restaurant, but it was clean with good food. It was same restaurant
where Peyton and I had had our first date. She sat opposite me, the little
candle on the table sending soft shadows across her lovely face. Brian didn’t
wait on us this time; we had a waitress named Kathryn. She was every bit as
attentive as Brian had been so many months ago, but I didn’t really notice.
Peyton smiled at me, “what’s on your mind, Sweetness. You’re acting strange.”
“Am I?”
She nodded but
kept smiling, “yep!”
I licked my
lips, tasting my lipstick. I smiled back at her. I reached out and took her
hands. “I was thinking about you today.”
She let out a
little laugh. I felt her foot slide up my leg. I knew what she was thinking, “I
bet you were. I wonder if our panties match?” Her fingers tickled my wrist
I let her foot
toy with my leg. “I was. I think about you a lot to be honest.”
She beamed but
said nothing.
One last first
came spilling from my painted lips. “I love you.” It had finally dawned on me
at work, working on a new advertisement for a woman’s deodorant, that my
feelings for Peyton weren’t imagined, but real and they surpassed anything I’d
ever felt for Linda. I know that wasn’t fair to my ex-wife, but it was honest
and sitting in that booth, I was feeling true, honest emotions. I had been for
a while. Except for our daughters, it was the last time I told someone I loved
them for the first time.
Peyton didn’t
hesitate. She smiled and said, “I love you, too.”
1 comment:
Karen,
As I have come to love your stories, I loved "Sweetness" as well.
Mike,
This was an excellent story laced with love and caring with a dominant partner. I look forward to more of Mike's stories,
JaimieS
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