Too Old to be Young - Chapter 12 – Part 1 of 2

 Thank you for all your well wishes.  I’m doing a little better.  I hope this is readable, I feel like I’m existing with only half a brain and my vertigo is still pretty bad.  For a while there I was worried I had other problems too that might cost me my life.  Fortunately, they seem to have gone away.  Enjoy all.

 

Too Old to be Young

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 12 – Part 1 of 2

 

Everywhere he looked he saw diapers.  Everywhere!  The way Jackie and Beverly had stacked them all over his house, there wasn’t a room he could go to where he couldn’t see them.  The worst though was the bathrooms where the stacks of diapers literally replaced where his toilets used to sit, reminding him once again that he couldn’t use a toilet even if he wanted to.  He had no choice at all but to use his diapers.  And having them stacked all over the place seemed to do nothing but constantly remind him of that.

As he fixed his morning coffee, he worried about what the day ahead might bring.  It was Tuesday.  According to their agreement, every Tuesday she would get to do something to him to make his whole life even worse than it was now.  Although that was hard to wrap his head around, even though he could imagine so many different things she could do to him to make that happen.  He would just have to wait until tonight to find out what he would be saddled with next.  Oddly, the very thought of it excited him too.  Too much!

As his coffeemaker brewed, he headed back to his bedroom.  Yesterday, he had been too sore still to get any pleasure from his situation, but now he was already getting hard.  He had played for a while this morning before he got out of bed, but he didn’t allow himself to have an orgasm.  This time, while his coffee brewed, he decided it was past time.  He spent the next fifteen minutes humping the bed, shooting his load off into his diaper.  The only place he could shoot his load anymore since because of the locking onesie he was wearing, he couldn’t get out of his diapers.  At least she had come by last night and let him change.  After the way she had left him yesterday afternoon, he wasn’t expecting that.  For that alone, he was grateful.  Now he wondered what time she would be there to let him change again this morning?

His first orgasm in days finally over with, and hating himself for giving in and going back to their agreement, he went back to the kitchen to get his coffee.  He took it to his desk and pulled up another of his old stories that he had written.  In minutes, he was deeply involved with it.  A while later, he heard his front door opening.

“Jim!” Jackie called as she came in.

Jim came out of his office.  “Hi,” he said simply.

Jackie looked him over.  “Love that onesie,” she said.  “Do I smell coffee?”

“Of course.”

She went over to him and unlocked the onesie.  “Go get cleaned up.  I’ll get my own coffee.”

While Jim was in the shower, Jackie took her coffee into his office and sat at his desk.  She spent a few minutes reading the story on his screen, but she didn’t even move his mouse to read more of it.  Just the one page she could see was enough to tell her much.  It was some kind of forced diaper story.  She headed into his bedroom to look through his closet.  It was going to be a busy day today, and she had no doubt he would be terrified!

From his closet, she picked out a nice shirt and a nice pair of pants for him to wear.  She laid them out on the foot of the bed.  From his dresser drawer he found a pair of pantyhose that she set out on top of his clothes.  And on top of all that, she put another of his new onesies for him to wear.  She stared at the clothes.  Perfect.  Of course, there was going to be one more minor little thing as well.

When he left the bathroom, she had him lay on the bed, noticing him constantly looking at the clothes she had laid out for him.  Before diapering him, she took the time to carefully check his cock.  “Any problems still?”

“Not anymore,” Jim replied.

She smiled.  “Which means you had some fun.”

“Maybe,” he replied.

She laughed, as she pulled the diaper up firmly.  “That’s what we want you to have,” she told him.

A minute later, she was locking him inside the onesie she had laid out.  “Pantyhose under your clothes today,” she told him.  “I’ll be back to pick you up about ten-thirty.  Wear your heels!”

Jim was suddenly terrified.  “Pick me up?”

“Like I said,” Jackie told him with a sly smile, “it’s going to be a busy day.  Tuesday!  Remember?”

“But…whatever you’re doing shouldn’t start until tonight,” he protested.

“True, but for this we need to get you ready.  “Ten-thirty.  Heels!  Be ready!”  With that, she walked out.

Jim felt like his legs were going to give out on him.  He also felt his cock twitch again inside his diaper.

 It was five minutes early when Jackie pulled her car out of her driveway and into his.  As always, she didn’t bother knocking, she used her key and just went inside.  “Hi Jim,” she called.  She didn’t get an answer, but she saw him waiting for her in his living room.  He was sitting in one of his chairs, waiting for her.  The look on his face told her how nervous he was.  Her eyes also didn’t miss the sight of the high heels he was wearing.  She went over to him.  “Nervous about going out?”

“Yes!”

“Terrified?”

“Absolutely.  Can we please not do this?”

“Jim, wrap your head around this, you’re going to do it, like it or not.  And not only that, you’re going to have to get used to doing it…a lot!  Time to start getting used to it.”

It was a moment before he gave a small nod.

“Now get up and come into your office for a few minutes.”

That surprised him.  He got up.  “What do you need?” he asked as he followed her toward his desk.

“Find that no control mantra thing you wrote.”

“Why?” he asked as he sat down in his chair.

She didn’t answer.  She waited until he had brought the thing up on his screen.  “Turn away from it,” she told him.  When his chair was facing to the side, she said, “Now close your eyes and concentrate.”

He turned his head and looked up at her skeptically. 

“Just do it!” she told him.

He turned his head away and closed his eyes.

She leaned close to his head and very softly began reading.  “Relax.  Relax.  No control.  No control.”  She went through the entire thing that way.  When she was done, she waited a moment until he opened his eyes.  “How do you feel?” she asked.

“Relaxed,” he replied.

“Did you wet yourself?”

“No.”

“Maybe next time,” she told him.  “Are you still relaxed?”

“Completely.”

“Then try and stay that way.”

Once again he looked up at her skeptically.  “Just try, okay?  These are your fantasies we’re playing with.  You can’t enjoy them if you don’t try.”

Even though he knew she was right, he didn’t bother answering.

“Now I’ve got another mantra for you to learn.”

“Another one?”

“Yes.  Now repeat this.  I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”

“What?”

“Repeat it, like a mantra!”

“What was it again?”

“I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.  Now say that.”

“I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”

“Good.  Now say it again, three times.”

He repeated the small sentence three times like she asked.

“Now what’s your first mantra?”

“Relax.  Relax.  No control.  No control.”

“And now your second one?”

“I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”

“Good!” she told him.  “Keep saying both of them to yourself and get up from there.  We’re going shopping.”

“For what?” he asked.

“Repeat your mantras again.”

He grunted.  “Relax.  Relax.  No control.  No control.  I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”

“Good!  Keep repeating them to yourself and let’s go.”

Jim was nervous just leaving his house wearing the high heels.  He wasn’t as concerned about the diaper he was wearing because he thought his pants would hide it well enough.  He hoped anyway.  Either way, locked inside his onesie, there was little he could do about it.  But his high heels were completely visible.  What would he say if anyone did ask him about them?  Tell the truth like she had suggested?  That wasn’t on the top of his list of ways to handle it.

“Where are we going?” he asked again as she left his driveway.

“Shopping!”

“A lot of shopping?  To a lot of places?”  He certainly hoped not.

“Not this time.  Next time maybe.”

He didn’t say it, but his response would have been – “Good!”  At this point, he was already ready to go home, and they had barely left the house.

His nervousness didn’t improve any the longer he rode in her car.  He wasn’t worried about riding in her car, nobody could see his diapers or his embarrassing shoes.  It was getting out of her car that worried him.  Unfortunately, he figured out that their nice quiet car trip was ending when she pulled up in front of a shoe store.  “Shoes?”

“You noticed!” she joked.  “And here I thought it would be a surprise.”

“You want me to go in there, wearing the shoes I’ve got on.”

“I want you to go everywhere and anywhere wearing the shoes you’ve got on.  Here included, so start getting used to it.”

He shook his head.

“What’s your first mantra?”

He was tempted to roll his eyes.  “Relax.  Relax.  No control, no control.”

“And are you relaxed…inside.  So you can pee if you need to.”

“Not anymore.”

“Then sit there and keep repeating that mantra until you are.”

“I’m okay,” he replied.

“I didn’t ask if you were okay.  Now sit there and relax your body and repeat that mantra until you’ve got yourself all nice and relaxed inside again.  Just do it!”

He wanted to grunt his frustration, but he didn’t.  He sat there and closed his eyes.  Softly he repeated the mantra over and over again, trying as he said it to relax his body.  A minute later, he stopped and looked at her.

“Better now?” she asked.

He nodded.

“Now stay that way, nice and relaxed, and say your second mantra.”

“I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”

“Say it again.  Stay as relaxed as you can, and keep saying it until it sinks in.”

Again he closed his eyes and kept repeating a mantra, this time the new one.  A minute later, he stopped and looked at her.

“Ready?”

“Not really, but…”

“But ready or not, let’s go.  Get out, and don’t even think about stopping.  You’re going in there to buy a new pair of shoes for yourself, and like you decided, you don’t care who sees you in them because you like them.”

It took a moment, but he nodded, then turned and opened the door.  As he stepped out of her car, he absolutely couldn’t believe he was doing this.  Forget the mantra, this was just crazy, and he had absolutely no business going in there wearing high heels.

“Keep saying your mantra,” she told him.  “Say it out loud, but softly.”

He started saying his shoe mantra over and over again, but what was really going through his mind was the decision to try and be brave.  A moment later, she led him to the door, and then inside.  He was still saying his shoe mantra softly, but more insistently the moment he walked inside.  He didn’t stop saying it as she led him over to all the rows of women’s shoes.  He looked around briefly.  Had anyone else noticed what shoes he was wearing?  He couldn’t be sure.  There were a number of people of both sexes in the store, and they were spread out all over the place.  He was just glad that nobody gave him any trouble over his shoes – yet.

Jackie led him toward the women’s dress shoes.  “Okay,” she said.  “Every time I had you looking at women’s shoes on the internet, I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to like all the very high heels.  So I want you to buy yourself a pair.  What you get it totally up to you, but they have to be something sexy with very high heels.  Oh, and don’t get black.  Anything other than black.  The rest is up to you.”

“Up to me?”

“Jim, they’re going to be your shoes.  It’s your fantasies.  They’re for you to wear and enjoy.  Pick something that will be fun for you to wear.”

“Fun?”

“Fun!” she repeated.  “Isn’t that why you bought all the other things you’ve got?  Isn’t that why you bought the shoes you’re wearing now?  Fun!  Just…enjoy yourself.  Shop.  Find something that turns you on.”

Jim just figured that it was all easy for her to say, but he wasn’t her…or a her.  He started wandering through the rows of shoes.  He was surprised to find that she wasn’t staying right with him…and he wished desperately that she would.  If she wasn’t there, he couldn’t pretend he was helping her look for shoes.  Although he already knew that a woman her age wouldn’t be buying shoes like he was supposed to get.  In fact, a woman his age wouldn’t be buying them either.  So why should he?  Because she had said so and this was supposed to be all about his fun.  Fun?  He swallowed and kept looking.

He passed a few women as he wandered around the aisles.  None of them seemed to give him more than a passing glance, but he wasn’t exactly watching everyone else.  As he shopped, the situation struck him as completely bizarre.  He was a man…not just a man but an old man…wearing women’s high heels, in the shoe store, looking to buy himself another pair of high heels.  An even sexier pair that would only be worn by a much younger woman.  Bizarre!

“Having any luck?”

He turned to see Jackie walking back to him.  “I’ve seen a few interesting pairs.”

“Like what?”

He walked back the way he had come and pointed out a few.

“I know you didn’t try any of them on.”

“No.  I was just looking first.”

“Okay.  But now it’s time to get down to business.  Try a few.”

He looked at her skeptically.

“Which pair excited you the most?”

“Really?”

“Yes!  Really!  Which pair turned you on the most?”

He stopped to consider it, then finally walked back toward the middle of the aisle they were on.  He found the shoes.  “These,” he said, showing her a pair of red high heels with closed toes and straps that would buckle around his ankle.

“Perfect!” she declared.  “But will they fit?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then try them on.”

“Try them on?”

“Yes!  Jim.  What’s your new mantra?  Say it!”

He wanted to say how frustrated he was.  Instead, he said, “I love wearing women’s shoes and I don’t care who sees me in them.”

“Keep telling yourself that, and try them on.”

He wasn’t supposed to care who saw him wearing them, but he did.  Trying to be brave about it, he pulled the box of lady’s heels from the shelf and carried it to a bench near the end of the aisle.  He sat down and kicked off the heels he had worn into the store.  He tried one of the red shoes on, buckling it firmly.  He had chosen the shoe size of the shoes he usually bought, and was grateful to notice that they seemed to fit.

“Stand up,” she suggested.   He stood, putting his weight on that foot.

“How is it?”

“Fine,” he told her.  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed another woman shopper now staring at him, watching.  He tried to ignore her.  “These will do,” he told Jackie.  “Are they good enough?”

“Just fine,” she told him.  “I think they’ll suit your needs perfectly.  Better try the other one on though, to make sure.”

He sat down and started to put the other shoe on, when a woman turned the corner and saw him.  “Oh!” the woman exclaimed as she noticed him putting the red high heels on his feet.  Jim looked up and saw that she was one of the store workers.  “Ladies heels?” she asked.

“Yes!” Jim replied pointedly.

The woman only nodded.  “Let me know if you need any help,” she replied, then she moved further along the aisle, straightening up the boxes of shoes.

Jim looked up at Jackie, then back at the woman.  He shook his head, not believing that would be her only comment.  She wasn’t even looking back at him…until she noticed her getting toward the end of the aisle.  She looked at him, then disappeared.  He finished putting the other shoe on then stood up again.  He took a couple of steps in them.  “They’re fine,” he declared.  “Can we get out of here now?”

“Yes,” Jackie replied.  “We just needed to get you another pair of shoes.  That’s all.”

“Jim put his old shoes back on and carried the new box to the register.  He now noticed a few people looking at him, noticing the heels on his feet…and they weren’t even red.  How bad would wearing red shoes out in public be?  He didn’t want to think about that.  He bravely paid for his new shoes and followed Jackie out of the store and back to her car.  He was never so glad to get his feet out of sight as when he got in.  He breathed a silent sigh of relief, glad the ordeal was over with.

“Did you wet yourself?” Jackie asked.

“No.”

“Are you still relaxed?”

“Yes, but not that relaxed.”

“You should have tried harder to stay relaxed while you were in there,” Jackie said as she started the car.  “Maybe next time.”  She backed the car out of the parking space.  “And what are you supposed to do when you’re not as relaxed as you should be?” she asked.

“Say the mantra,” he said disgustedly.

“Then why aren’t you?”

Jim closed his eyes and said his mantra.  Now that he was back in her car and they were heading home…he hoped…he didn’t care as much.  She pulled into her own driveway, and he got out with his box of new shoes, very glad to be home again.

“See you later, Jim,” Jackie called as she headed for her door.

“Am I supposed to wear these now?” Jim asked, holding up the box.

“If you want.  That’s up to you.  We bought them so you could enjoy them.  I’ll be by later this afternoon so you can change.”  With that, she waved and unlocked her door.

Jim headed back to his own house.  He carried the new shoes into his bedroom and opened the box.  Red high heels.  Red shoes, with a very high thin heel.  He figured at least four inches, maybe five.  Ridiculous shoes…that did turn him on.  With nothing better to do, he put the shoes on his feet and walked around his house in them for a little while, all the time remembering the ordeal of going out into the store to buy them…in person, including trying them on.  A little while later, he was wearing them while he did his best to hump his bed.  Jackie had said to enjoy them…so he was.