Too Old to be Young - Chapter 20 – Part 1 of 2

 

Too Old to be Young

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 20 – Part 1 of 2

 

The first thing Jim’s mind thought about when he woke up Tuesday morning, was that it was Tuesday.  T-Day.  Trouble day.  Terror Day.  The day when later that evening his life would get so much worse.  What would they saddle him with next?  Last week it had been painted nails and a purse.  Two different things.  Would they do something like that to him again?  And if so, what?  His mind worried about that incessantly.  It worried about something else too.  Would he be stuck in chastity again for another week…or longer?  That decision he already knew wasn’t even up to those demented women.  They had fixed things so that it was determined by nothing more than a roll of a single die.  He had a fifty-fifty chance of being in chastity next week…or not.

Going back to sleep was impossible with all those thoughts lingering on his mind.  They had been heavily on his mind when he went to bed last night.  So much so, that after less than an hour he had pulled the headphones off his ears and tossed them aside.  His worries had him too distracted to listen to the hypnotic bedwetting recordings.

His hands went down to the front of his diaper and felt around.  Big.  Bloated.  Like usual.  He only remembered waking up twice last night to pee, but like always now, he must have peed more each time than he thought.  Something in the back of his mind was happy about that.  He would have been a lot more happy about it if he didn’t have that darn chastity device on and he could do something about those happy thoughts.

With a sigh, he gave up and got to his feet.  Yeah, like always, his diaper was big, heavy, and bloated.  He added more to that bloating as he waddled out to his kitchen and got his coffee maker started.  What would they do to him tonight?  What would they saddle him with next?  Worried about it, he headed to his desk where he searched the internet until his coffee was ready.  When his coffee finished brewing, he filled a small koozie covered baby bottle and took it right back to his desk.

Long after his small bottle of coffee was finished, he still sat at his computer, chewing on the bottle nipple, worrying and wondering about later tonight.  What would they do to him?  He sat there so long like that he was startled when he heard his front door opening.

“Hi Jim,” Jackie called.

“Morning,” Jim called back as he got up from his seat…and wet himself again.  Darn, if he could just go to bed and hump it like he wanted.  Hopefully, tomorrow he wouldn’t have that problem…or even better, later tonight.

“What ‘cha doin?” Jackie asked as she walked into his office.

“Not much of anything,” Jim admitted. 

“Do you need a change?” Jackie asked teasingly.

Jim stood there and stared down at his bloated onesie covered diaper.  He spread his knees a bit.  “Only a lot.”

With a laugh, Jackie led the way to his bedroom where she soon had him unlocked and Jim headed for a much-needed shower.  Ten minutes later, she put a regular daytime diaper on him, followed by a much thicker nighttime diaper, guessing that he would enjoy the bulk.  She also didn’t plan on changing him until much later in the day, although she didn’t mention that to him.  Before locking him into his onesie though, she talked him into putting a bra on and also his white tights.  She stuffed his bra a bit, then locked his onesie over it all so that he couldn’t get out of his diapers, his bra, or his tights.  Then to top it all off, she had him put his little girl shoes on with the big white bows and she locked them onto his feet as well.  “Enjoy yourself today,” she finally told him.

“Enjoy myself?” he asked.  “How?  I can’t do it, and you know that.”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy other things.  In fact, maybe since by now I’m sure you’re pretty frustrated…”

“That’s an understatement.”

She laughed.  “Then I’m sure you’ll enjoy wearing all that even more.  “See you for lunch today?” she asked.

He considered it.  “Why not,” he agreed.

“Good.  I’ll call you later.”  With that and a small laugh, she left him.

Lunch again.  Jim realized he had been eating a lot of meals with Jackie lately.  He wondered what had gotten into her.  Was she just lonely?  That was possible.  Just because of what he was already wearing…like it or not, and couldn’t remove, he put his little girl dress on to enjoy that for the rest of the morning.  He laid on his stomach and tried humping his bed, uselessly.  Tonight!  Tonight he better get an even number on the roll of that die.  He very much wanted some relief!

Shortly before lunch, he removed his little girl dress and put a plain pair of pants and a shirt on, getting ready to go over to Jackie’s house for lunch.  His diapers were wet and warm.  The thickness of the two diapers was not only distracting, it was fueling his frustrated sexual need a bit too much.  Or maybe it was the bra and tights he couldn’t get out of.  Either way, he needed relief.

When his phone rang, he talked to Jackie briefly, then steeling himself, he once again grabbed his purse and trekked his way across Jackie’s lawn to her door.

“I’m disappointed,” Jackie told him as she let him into her house.  “I was hoping you would be wearing something a bit more fun today.”

“I was,” Jim replied.  “I took it off.”

“Why, just to come here?”

“Yes!  And to walk out in public.”

“In public?  Were you going anywhere after this?”

“No.  I mean to walk over here.”

Jackie looked at him skeptically.  “Let me fix you some lunch.  And you should have stayed in whatever you had on.”

“My little girl dress.”

“Don’t you think I would have enjoyed seeing you in it too?”

Jim said nothing to that.

Lunch was nice, but certainly nothing special.  Thirty minutes later, Jim was back in his own house wondering what to do with himself for the rest of the day.  He needed something to get his mind off of later tonight.  The one thing of course he wanted to do, hump something, was out.  Being alone again, he changed back into his little girl dress. 

He was happily working on his long story a few hours later.  His diaper was getting more than a bit bloated, and he figured that even with the two diapers he was wearing Jackie would be there soon to change him.  He left the dress he was wearing on, just for her.  Besides, he wasn’t planning on leaving his house.  When he felt the need coming to do something more in his thick diapers, he went out to his living room to stare out the crack in his curtains at his backyard while he filled the back of his diaper.  When he was done, he really hoped Jackie would stop by soon to change him.

He was just about to the point where he was going to have to sit down in his messy diaper again when he heard his phone ring.  He quickly answered it, noticing that it was Jackie calling.  Good!  “Hello?”

“Hi Jim,” Jackie replied.

“Are you coming over to change me?” he asked.  “I need it.  Badly!”

“Um…nope.  Not today.”

“But…”

Jackie laughed.  “I’m sure with those two diapers you’re wearing, they can hold an awful lot.  Especially with those thick ones.”

“That’s not the point,” Jim argued.  “I’m…messy.  Smelly.”

Jackie laughed again.  “I wondered if you might be.  Enjoy it.”

“But…”

“Say Jim,” Jackie interrupted him.  “Just a thought.”

“What?” Jim asked, perturbed that she wouldn’t be coming to change him.

“Have you gotten everything you need yet for later tonight?”

“Everything I need?”

“To change your nail polish.  Remember?”

The realization hit him.  He did remember.  He had simply not remembered to do anything about it.  “I need things?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“We’re not going to supply you with that stuff,” Jackie told him.  “You need everything to fix your nails and change the color while we’re playing Bridge tonight.”

“Yeah,” he replied.

“So you got everything already?” Jackie replied, trying to sound relieved.

“No.”

“Uh-oh,” Jackie said.  “You might want to fix that.  You wouldn’t want to spend the next week in that spiky iron maiden chastity device would you?  And you know how much Pam would probably love putting that thing on you.”

That much he could easily picture.  His mind could also picture how painful that thing would be as well.  And for an entire week?  No, no, no!  Just thinking about it made him pee into his smelly diaper again.  He needed to get something for his nails.

“Jim,” Jackie said, “how many times have you been out in public this week?  And how many times did we drag you into a drug store where you could have taken care of getting that stuff?”

He realized it had been more than a few times.  In fact, every time he had been out this week he had wound up in that same drug store.  He just hadn’t realized why…until now.  “Uh…a few,” he admitted. 

“I guess you better get busy and go back there,” Jackie told him.  Then she laughed.  “And don’t forget your purse.”

“But…I need to be changed before I can go.  Besides, I can’t get out of this damn bra I’m wearing, and you stuffed it so it shows.”

“Jim, it’s not my fault you didn’t think to fix this situation sooner.  Now go take care of things.  Or if you’d rather, I know Pam would love to bring those spikes to the bridge game tonight instead.”

“No!” he said quickly.

“Then good luck,” Jackie replied.  “I’ll call you later before the game.”  With a laugh, she hung up.

Jim was panicked.  What was he going to do?  And worse, he knew he should have taken care of getting whatever he needed sooner.  Now he was going to have to do it wearing a noticeable bra under his clothes, and wearing a bloated smelly diaper.  Oh, and not to mention, he couldn’t get out of his locked on little girl white tights and shoes either.  He wanted to scream.  Jackie must have known he didn’t have any of that stuff when she dressed him this morning.  This time, he did scream!

Twenty minutes later, he stood staring at himself in front of his mirror.  His face looked fine, if not a bit anxious.  He had no doubt it would look rather red when he got to the store.  His chest looked all wrong.  The bumps from the stuffed bra he was wearing under his shirt couldn’t be missed.  This time, it was obvious that his backside, not to mention the front of his body down there, was a lot bulker than it should be.  It was obvious that the was wearing something thick and heavy under his pants.  And of course, the shiny black little girl shoes with the big white bows locked onto his feet were a huge give away.  In his hands he was carrying a red purse, and his hands that held that purse had red nail polish on the fingers.  Basically, he looked a sight.  A sight that was totally embarrassing and couldn’t be missed if he tried.  The only reason he was going to walk out the door dressed like this was because that damn spiky iron maiden chastity device scared him too much.  Of course, he had also agreed to do whatever those demented women saddled him with, but that didn’t normally include the stuffed bra and little girl shoes.  Without them, he could almost get through all this.  But those little added humiliations only made everything that much worse.  Jackie the Jackal had certainly known what she was doing this morning when she had talked him into wearing them.

Could he do this?  Could he go out in public dressed like this and buy – nail polish and whatever else he would need for tonight?  Choice.  Iron maiden chastity for a week, or a few minutes of horribly intense humiliation?  Awful pain and absolutely no chance of relief for another week, or show the world what a demented sick sissy he was?  A week’s worth of intense pain, verses a few minutes of intense humiliation?  Like it or not, no matter how he looked at it, the choice was clear.  Now he just had to find the courage to actually go through with it.  Two minutes later, feeling increasingly sick to his stomach by the minute, he got into his car.

The drive to the drug store wasn’t bad.  Could the other drivers see his breasts?  What if they could?  What would they think of him?  Did it matter?  He didn’t know them, and they didn’t know him.  It didn’t mean he wasn’t embarrassed about it though.  The harder part was after he got there and parked his car.  He had to get out of the car putting himself fully on display.  The even harder part was going inside the store.  As he walked through the door a few seconds later, there was no doubt the few people who saw him were staring.  He wanted to turn and run, but he couldn’t.  Running away would mean a week of misery.  Besides, he was already there and had already been seen.  What was a few more people seeing him?

He found the nail-care things and quickly grabbed a bottle of pale pink nail polish hoping the color would be a lot less noticeable than the bright red he had worn all week now.  He also had the forethought to buy some nail polish remover.  He had grabbed the first pale pink polish he saw and the first bottle of remover he saw trying to be as fast as possible.  He carried them quickly back to the checkout counter.  Fortunately, there were no other customers there.  The woman behind the counter looked him over carefully, as she rang up the sale.  He was grateful she said nothing at all about how he looked.  A minute later, he put his wallet back into his purse and zipped it up.  He grabbed the bag and hurried back to his car.  Whew! 

He was so happy he had no problems at all in there and nobody had even talked to him.  But they had certainly all looked him over.  Just the thought of what he had just done was fueling his fantasies again.  He wanted badly to go home and hump his bed, already knowing it would be a useless exercise.  The minute he got home and into his house, he removed his pants and his shirt.  With everything else locked on him, he laid face down on his bed and did his best to hump it.  He tried, and tried and tried, but of course to no avail.  He had already known it would be useless, but he still had to try. 

He was stopped by his phone ringing.  It was a moment before he answered it.  Jackie!  “Hello?”

“Hi Jim,” Jackie said.  “I was just wondering how it went.  Did you get everything?”

“Nail polish and remover.  As far as I know that should be all I need.”

“Well, I guess that would be the minimum.  There are a lot of other things you might have thought about getting as well to care for your nails, but I guess that will do.  Do you need to be changed yet?”

“Now you’re offering to change me?  You wouldn’t do it before I went out.”

Jackie laughed.  “That was the whole purpose.  So you could enjoy going out that way.”

Jim could have killed her.

 

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Too Old to be Young - Chapter 19 – Part 3 of 3

 

Too Old to be Young

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 19 – Part 3 of 3

 

“Hi Jim,” Jackie called early Saturday morning as she let herself into his house.

“Morning!” she heard Jim call back. 

She headed for his office, and the two met halfway.  “How are you this morning?” she asked.

“Horney!  Frustrated!”

She laughed.  “Perfect!”

“For who?”

“You!  Now let’s get you showered and changed.  I’m in the mood to do some cooking.  When you’re ready we’ll go back to my house and I’ll make you breakfast.  Sound okay?”

He was surprised by the offer.  “Sounds fine.”  At least it would only be to go to her house.

Once again he lamented the fact that she didn’t unlock his chastity device.  He wondered if she even had the key and figured that most likely she didn’t.  More than likely, Pam had it and Jackie couldn’t unlock him if she wanted to…which he already knew she didn’t.  As he washed off in the shower, along with spending more time playing with his locked-up member than usual, he wondered if there was any way he could call Pamela and talk her into letting him free…even for just a little while.  Somehow, he figured it wasn’t going to happen.  Oh well, on to the next thing.  Breakfast with Jackie this morning.  That was something different.  He’d had lunch and dinner with her, but not breakfast.  What was up with her today?

A few minutes later, wearing one of his thick nighttime diapers instead of a regular one, Jackie snapped the lock shut on his onesie and he was trapped in it as usual. 

“Why don’t you wear a skirt or something pretty today instead of what you usually wear,” Jackie suggested.  “You say you can’t get any fun, but I don’t see you doing anything else you enjoy either.”

“That’s not that kind of fun I was interested in,” Jim replied.

“Well wearing something fun anyway when you come over.  Maybe your little girl outfit or something.”

“What’s the use if I can’t get the other kind of fun?”

“Because…you said it’s fun,” she laughed.  “See you in a little bit,” she said, just before she left.

Wear something fun.  He realized she did have a point.  He spent more time ignoring all the things that used to give him so much pleasure than he did playing with those things.  In the end, he didn’t wear his little girl dress, but he did wear another dress along with his red high heels.  As he grabbed his purse to go over to Jackie’s house, he realized he didn’t care in the least if his shoes and fingernails matched his purse.  It was still embarrassing! 

For all the fuss Jackie had seemed to make over wanting to cook, all she had done was to make some eggs and bacon.  Still, he appreciated the effort, and it was a pleasant meal…even though he sat through it wearing a dress and high heels, none of which were any problem at all. 

After breakfast, he went home and spent the rest of the day wearing the dress and heels, and every time Jackie changed him she put one of his thicker night diapers on him.  By bedtime, he was hornier and more frustrated than ever.  But looming over all of it was what would happen the next day.  Sunday.  The day he was supposed to go out to eat with all of them…wearing a diaper and his red high heels, along with carrying a purse in his hands that now had bright red fingernails.  Sunday.  Tomorrow!

 

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No, the bedwetting hypnosis files he listened to didn’t do one damn thing…again!  He distinctly remembered waking up at least three times during the night when he had to pee.  At least he was able to go back to sleep quickly afterwards.  As he got out of bed Sunday morning, he again marveled at how soaked his diaper was, even though he had only wet it three times during the night.  He was sure now that he was peeing more each time than he thought, but then he had caught himself dribbling just tiny amounts a few times during the day now.  So little that he could barely feel it.  When he had woken up during the night, since he wasn’t controlling things and holding back, he could only conclude that was what was going on.  He was peeing, but once most of the pressure was off, he was simply dribbling smaller amounts than he could feel.  Was that progress?  He hoped so.

He waddled into the kitchen and got his coffee maker going, then sat at his desk to look though the internet for a while.  In the back of his mind, he never once forgot that it was Sunday, lunch with the girls day.  Lunch with his red nails and purse day.  Not to mention his red high heels.  How bad could it be?  He was already dreading it.  Jackie, Beverly, and Lisa were bad enough, but there were times when Pamela simply scared him.

When his coffee was ready, as always now, he poured it into one of his small baby bottles with the koozie around it and took it back to his desk where he continued to search the internet for anything interesting, all the while holding the bottle in his hand, and mostly keeping the nipple in his mouth where he chewed on it.

“Hello!”

Jim looked up at the sound of Jackie’s voice.  He had been so intent on looking at the internet, while worrying about lunch later, that he hadn’t heard her come in.

“Coming!” he called as he got up from his seat.  She was in his office before he got to the door.

“Morning, Jim,” Jackie said, taking in the sight of him, the onesie locked on over an obviously bloated diaper and the baby bottle in his hand.

“Morning,” Jim replied.

“Doing anything interesting?” Jackie asked looking toward his computer.

“Nothing at all,” he replied.

“Well maybe we’ll do something later that may interest you, while we’re out.”

“I thought we were only going to lunch.”

“That’s the plan.  That simple.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

Jackie raised her eyebrow at that.  “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Twenty minutes later, Jim stood still while Jackie locked another onesie on him, sealing shut part of what he would be wearing out to lunch in a little while.  Fortunately, it was the part that nobody would see.  He hoped.  For some reason, Jackie had insisted on putting one of his thicker night diapers on him today under his onesie.  He prayed it wouldn’t show under his pants.  Everything else he was wearing was going to call enough attention to him.

“Twelve o’clock,” Jackie told him.  “Lisa is picking us up today.  We’ll all go in her car.  Don’t forget your heels.”

“I won’t,” Jim replied, frustrated at the thought of it.  Ugh!  Red high heels out in public.  Red fingernails out in public.  And carrying a purse with red in it out in public.  What could he wear today that would help disguise all of it?  He didn’t have a clue.  He chose the best pair of pants he could and a plain button-down shirt.  Did his pants hide his diaper enough?  So far, he hoped so.  He also hoped he wouldn’t wet himself too much before he had to leave or that diaper was going to be more difficult to hide.  Fully dressed and knowing he was going out soon, he automatically wanted to reach for his wallet and keys to put them in his pockets, except he couldn’t.  According to the rules of the agreement, he could no longer put anything in his pockets.  Everything was already in his purse.  His purse!  Just the thought of it made him queasy while at the same time it made his cock want to twitch inside his tiny chastity device, which it had no room to do.

 

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Ten minutes before twelve, Jim grabbed his purse and stood in front of his full-length mirror.  He was still trying to fathom going out somewhere dressed the way he was.  His fingers, his purse in his hand, and his shoes were all red…female.  The rest of him was not.  What had they turned him into?  What had he become?  The answer was simple.  Just what he had wanted all along.  He had just never planned on the reality of it ever being possible.  And now look what he was doing.  As he stood staring at his reflection, he had no choice but to consider everything.  Yes, he was going out dressed like…he didn’t know what, but at the same time, there was no denying how exciting it all was for him.  Incredibly exciting.  He just really, really wanted to do something about that excitement, but they had fixed him so that he couldn’t…until Tuesday night…or longer…depending on nothing more than a roll of a single die. 

A car horn honked from outside, with a sigh, he turned from his mirror and headed for his door.  The car in his driveway was already full.  He could see all four women inside.  Jackie opened the back door for him and he squeezed his body in, making it a tight fit.

“You’re looking more like one of the girls everyday Jim,” Pam joked as he closed the car door.  He could only wish!  What he looked – was embarrassing!

The women talked animatedly all the way to the restaurant, a place Jim had never been to before.  He noticed the moment they got to the parking lot that it was crowded and there were more cars pulling in behind them.  “Looks like we’re right in the middle of the church crowd today,” Beverly noted.

“We may have to wait for a table,” Jackie agreed.

Once Lisa had found a parking place, Jim did not want to get out of the car, but he did.  He did not want to walk to the restaurant, but he did.  He didn’t want to go in either, but he did.  The place inside was packed with a lot of people waiting, all of them looking him over.  He felt even more like a fool.  The women he was with ignored the way he looked.  Everyone else didn’t. 

“We’re going to have to wait a while,” Lisa told them after she talked to the receptionist.  “They don’t have a table for five available yet.”

“This place is always crowded on Sundays,” Pam replied.  “I was expecting that.”

With no place to sit, or hide, Jim had no choice but to stand around in the middle of everyone else.  Nobody spoke to him, fortunately, but they also never seemed to stop looking at him.  Was his face as red as hid fingernails?  He hoped not.  He judged it was over half an hour before they finally were led to their table.  Jim could do nothing but follow meekly along with the other women.  He was so glad to be able to sit down, and it wasn’t because of standing for so long in his high heels.  He set his purse on the floor where it wouldn’t be seen as easily and kept his hands in his lap as much as possible. 

Lunch took a long time.  None of the other women mentioned how he was dressed.  None of them mentioned his wet diapers under what he was wearing.  It was like there was nothing different about him at all.  He could easily tell that the other customers around him noticed him, but he did his best to ignore them all.  And finally, it was over.  He grabbed his purse from the floor and got to his feet with the rest of them and headed back to the car.  He was never so grateful to finally close the car door behind him.  He was especially grateful that Lisa was heading home.  Except she didn’t.

Nothing at all had been said, but once again he found himself in the parking lot of that same damn drug store, and all the women were piling out of the car.  Why were they there?  Why couldn’t they just go home?  But having little choice, he followed them into that same damn store.  They all seemed to wander around and shop, picking up skin care items and a number of different things.  Finally, they all headed to the checkout.  He stood back and waited, and a short while later he was back in the too crowded backseat of Lisa’s car. 

When Lisa dropped him off in Jackie’s driveway, he was incredibly grateful.  He had gotten through it.  He had been out dressed humiliatingly in public three times that week and he hoped he’d never have to do it again.  But in the back of his mind he already knew that every time he left the house from now on it would be the same thing.  Humiliation.  Because of an agreement he had made…that he had also made sure he couldn’t get out of. 

But more than wishing he could get out of that agreement, he wished he could get out of that damn chastity device.  That would make the whole thing a lot more worthwhile.  This was supposed to be all about him having fun, but the kind of fun he wanted the most just then was denied him. 

He was left with…frustration! 

And it was Sunday.  In two more days they were going to make his situation even worse.  But how much worse could anything get?  He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out, but he knew that in two more days, it would be…inevitable. 

He really needed some relief!

 

Too Old to be Young - Chapter 19 – Part 2 of 3

 

Too Old to be Young

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 19 – Part 2 of 3

 

Ugh!  Why did he bother trying to listen to those hypnotic recordings?  It wasn’t like they were doing any good.  He distinctly remembered waking up three times last night to pee…a little.  He always peed just a little now.  After a few weeks of not holding back at all, staying that loose all the time felt completely normal, which meant he peed more often, which meant he peed less each time than he used to.  He stared up at the ceiling above his bed.  It was Friday.  Purse day.  Ugh!  He tossed his legs out from under the cover and sat on the side of the bed.  As he got to his feet, he noticed his diaper was a bit more soaked than he would have expected from what little he thought he had peed last night.  But after not holding back for so long now, he realized that he didn’t always know how much he was peeing anymore.

He felt the need to pee as he waddled out to his kitchen to make himself some coffee.  As always, he didn’t hold back at all.  Not holding back was so easy now.  It was natural.  It was normal.  So was peeing into his diaper.  That was feeling normal too.  Just as an experiment, he clenched all those muscles just once as if he was holding back.  Damn!  It didn’t feel normal at all.  Not to mention, it wasn’t easy anymore.  How did it ever feel so normal to keep them so tight before?  He immediately relaxed everything, and it felt much easier and normal again.  The thought of it pleased him.  It would please him a whole lot more if he could go back to the bedroom and hump his bed for a while.  But those damn demented women had spoiled all his fun for the entire week…or more.  It was so frustrating!  All this was supposed to be for his fun!  Instead, all he got was locked up so he couldn’t get that fun…while they were overly humiliating him.  He could just scream!

His bright red nails flashed across his vision as he set his coffee maker working.  They flashed across his vision as he sat in his office in front of his computer.  They continued to flash across his vision as opened his web browser and searched the net while his coffee continued to brew.  But in the back of his mind, he continued to remember that those bright red fingernails weren’t the only things he was going to have to put up with anymore.  Later today…this morning, Jackie the Jackal was going to make him start carrying a women’s purse – everywhere!  All the time.  Even out to his mailbox at the end of the driveway.  According to her, every time he went out his door, he needed to be carrying a purse.  Yeah, screaming was what he wanted to do, even though he didn’t, especially since he really wanted to hump his bed to relieve the constant ache in his groin…that for the next week, or more, he couldn’t do anything about.

When his coffee was ready, he poured some into one of his small bottles with the koozie around it to keep it warm and his hands cool.  Then he carried it back to his desk where surprisingly, he managed to get back into his long story again.  The story really was an odd one for him, but it did contain lots of the things he liked best.

He was deep into his writing when he heard this front door open.  “Morning Jim,” Jackie’s voice called.

“Morning,” Jim called back as he got up from his computer.  Get unlocked from the onesie, but not the damn chastity device, get into the shower, get into a diaper, get back into a onesie, and get locked up again.  His everyday life.  He hated it so much!  But he loved it even more.

“Come over to my place when you’re finished getting dressed,” Jackie told him.  “You do remember what we’re doing today, don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied nervously.  “It’s make me look like an even bigger fool day.”

“You pretty much hit the nail on the head.  And speaking of nails, are you still enjoying yours?”

“How can I enjoy anything if I can’t get any fun?”

Jackie chuckled.  “Aw!  Poor baby.  But don’t try to kid me, I know that being in that chastity device is giving you lots of fun.  Just a different kind.”

“Don’t remind me,” he mumbled.

Jackie laughed and turned toward the door.  “See you in a few minutes.

Jim said nothing, he just watched her go.  Now, what should he wear that would make him look less like a fool?  What could he wear that would make him look less like a fool?  Nothing!

 

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“Don’t keep your hands in your pockets all the time,” Jackie said as they walked from her car toward the department store.

“Wouldn’t you?”

“No!  I think your nails look gorgeous.  I just think you should have worn your red heels to go with them better.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No!  Jim, since you can only wear women’s shoes everywhere you go, you might as well enjoy it, right?”

“Enjoy it?”

“Wasn’t that why you wished for it to begin with?”

He said nothing.  She knew him too well.  He wished Jackie would walk a little faster, but Jackie never walked fast.  Even at home.  He had the impression that she hurt…all over.  But that didn’t seem to stop her from doing anything.  She just did it all a bit slower.  It wasn’t that he was in a hurry to buy himself a purse, that was the last thing he wanted.  He just wanted to get out of there and go back home again…purse and all.

Inside the store, Jackie seemed to wander around, looking at this, looking at that.  He still just wanted to go home, but he followed her around and listened as she mentioned things about some of the clothes she looked at.  It seemed like an hour before they got to the purse section.  The problem with having to actively look at something, was that it was impossible to keep his hands in his pockets.  He had to bring them out in the open to touch and look through each of the purses.  The one type of purse he would be most interested in, he didn’t see.  One that would be invisible as he carried it.  He knew from experience with his wife that some purses were expensive, some weren’t.  He wasn’t interested in an expensive one.

“What do you think of this?” Jackie asked as she held one of the purses up.

“That one?”

“Of course, this one.  I’m only holding one.”

“Yes, it’s okay,” he replied.

“Do you see any you like better?” she asked.  “Anything that catches your eye?”

“Not really, and I don’t want it to catch my eye.”

“Why not?”

“Because then it might catch someone else’s eyes, who might notice it more then.”

“Jim!  Pick a nice one!  A practical one wouldn’t hurt either.  Or like I told you on Tuesday, get a few so you can try them to see which you like better.”

“I’ll stick with just one,” Jim told her.

“That’s fine,” Jackie replied.  “Just…look!”

“I am!”

In the end, Jim wound up buying the same purse she had held up for him to see.  It had dark grey with gold patterned ends, but the middle of the broad sides and the straps were red.  There would be no hiding the thing, that was for sure.  As he paid for the thing, he prayed that the cashier wouldn’t mention his fingernails.  He saw her smile at them, but she didn’t say anything.  Whew!  He was even happier when she stuck the purse in a bag and told him to have a nice day.  Nice day?  Not anymore.  There would be no more nice days anymore for him.

They had just gotten outside when Jackie told him.  “Take that thing out of the bag and carry it.”

“Now?”

“Yes.  Now!”

Ugh!  He pulled the thing from the bag and carried it all the way to the car, feeling like such a fool.  He was such a fool!  Why didn’t he buy one in a camouflage pattern?  Oh yeah, he didn’t see any like that.  And why did he have to get one with so much red in it?  He was guessing because Jackie seemed to like the way it looked the best.  Why had he gone along with her suggestion?  It was his purse.  That thought alone, that it was his purse, made him have to pee again.  Fortunately, as always, only a little came out.

“Your red heels would have been so much better today,” Jackie told him as they headed for the car.  “They would have gone nicely with that purse.  Oh well, Sunday we’ll see.”

Ugh!  Sunday.  Out to eat with the girls.  All the girls.  He didn’t want to think how that was going to go.

They barely got into her car when she told him, “Empty your pockets into your purse.  That’s what you’ve got it for now.  In fact, maybe we should go back inside and see if we can find you a few pairs of pants…without pockets, just to get the point across.”

Heaven forbid!  Jim quickly removed his keys, his wallet, his phone, and from his back pocket he pulled a comb and a handkerchief.

“How nice,” Jackie said as she saw his handkerchief.  “We need to get you something better than that though.  Maybe we’ll stop at the drug store on the way home so you can pick up a pack of tissues to keep in there instead.”

“Uh…no thanks.  I’m good.”

“No, really,” Jackie said as she pulled the car out of the parking space.  “I insist.”

She was insisting.  He had a feeling again that he wasn’t getting much say in the matter.  A few minutes later, when she pulled into the parking lot of the same drug store Beverly had taken him into he knew he was right.  What were they there for again?  Oh yeah, tissues.  How bad could buying some small packs of tissues be?  A minute later though, as he was getting out of his car with his new purse, he realized it wasn’t buying the tissues that would be bad, it was walking around the store wearing women’s black pumps on his feet, red fingernails that couldn’t be missed, and carrying a woman’s purse with him that he obviously wasn’t carrying for Jackie.  Embarrassing!  He felt himself wetting his diaper a tiny bit again just before they walked through the door.

Once again he realized that Jackie was moving slow…slower than usual as she wandered up and down the aisles.  Why couldn’t they just get the tissues and go home?  Why did she have to shop for so much stuff now?  He stood and watched as she looked at all kinds of skin care stuff, vitamins, perfume, literally every aisle in the store.  As they wandered slowly past the tissues, he grabbed a package of small travel size ones.  Unfortunately, even though he had what he needed and was ready to go, Jackie wasn’t.  She continued to drag him slowly around the entire store. 

It felt like forever before he had a chance to pay for them…having no choice but to unzip the top of his purse and pull his wallet from it with his red fingernails showing everywhere while he did it.  The guy behind the counter raised his eyebrows and stared hard at his nails, but fortunately he didn’t say anything.

He was so glad to get out of there!  Ready to go home.  Except they didn’t go home.  In the back of his mind, he was expecting her to drag him into a place he really didn’t want to go today – the supermarket.  But instead, without asking, she pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant for lunch.  Jim wanted to scream.  Instead, he reluctantly got out of her car with his purse in his hand…and his red nails on his fingers, and his women’s shoes on his feet…and his wet diaper under his clothes.  Even at home he felt like such a fool all the time, but out in public it was so much worse, and Jackie was just out to torment him today.  This time, as he went into the restaurant, he noticed the stares of the people around him as they looked him over from head to foot.  Was his face as red as his fingernails?  He was sure it had to be.

Sitting down at the table, Jim set his new purse on the floor between his feet where it couldn’t be seen, and he kept his hands in his lap, hiding his red nails.  He didn’t bother opening the menu, he didn’t want his nails that much on display.  He waited while Jackie decided what she was going to eat.  When she set her menu down, he said, “You’re just out to torment me today.”

“Of course,” she said.  “I’ve got to have my fun too.”

Her fun!  “While I can’t get any fun at all this week.”

“You yourself told me that being in that tiny chastity device was fun for you too.”

“Not in the same way.”

“But it’s still fun,” she pointed out.” 

He said nothing as the waitress came by and took their order.  When she left, Jackie said, “It’s a shame you didn’t follow up on that no control mantra thing you were using for a while.  That might have made things a bit more interesting for you.”

Should he tell her?  It had been like his own little secret for the last few weeks.  But…  “Actually, I’ve been doing something else instead,” he told her.

“Oh?  What?” she asked, completely interested.

“Instead of using the mantra, I’ve just been doing everything possible to stay relaxed and not hold back.”

“You mean, like with the mantra, only without the words.”

“Yes.  Exactly.  It’s the concept that matters.”

“And how’s it going for you?”

“Pretty good actually.  In the last few weeks, it’s become normal for me to not hold back anymore.  In fact, when I tried holding back for a minute yesterday, it felt awkward and weird.  Difficult.”

“Really?”

“Yes.  Who would have ever believed?”

“So for the last few weeks you’ve been wetting yourself…”

“A lot.  Just not much at a time.  Since I pee more often, then there’s less to come out.”

“I guess that makes a lot of sense,” she replied.

“The only thing is that at night, I still keep waking up to pee.”

“Maybe your mantra before bed would help.”

“No.  I’m trying hypnotic tapes instead, but trust me, so far, they’re not doing anything.”

“Would your mantra work better?”

“No.  Especially not while I’m sleeping.”

“So are you going to try anything else?”

“No, just what I’ve been doing.  I already know it’s simply going to take time.  A lot more time than I’ve given it so far.”

“She smiled.  “Well, you’ve got plenty of time.  And I have no doubt that wetting yourself without holding back during the day will help as well.”

“I’m sure of it,” he replied.  “It’s been interesting though learning to not hold back and feeling the small changes in the signs of knowing when I’m going to pee.”

“Changes?”

“Yeah.  Since I’m not holding back at all anymore, I feel just a bit of notice, and then I pee.  It’s just that I think that bit of notice is less now than it was a week ago…or maybe I’m just more used to it happening now.  It’s hard to tell.  But either way, the process itself has gotten pretty easy for me.”

“Easier than holding back like you used to,” she stated.  “Since you said it was difficult for you to do when you tried it yesterday.”

“Yeah.  I guess so.” 

This wasn’t exactly the kind of conversation he’d normally have out in public, but they were talking softly and there was a lot of noise around them.  He was sure nobody else could hear them.  He was glad though when Jackie moved the conversation on to other more normal topics.

When their food came, Jim wasn’t happy about having to bring his red fingernails out in the open where everyone could see them, but it was impossible to eat any other way.  He did his best to ignore the looks he might be getting from anyone else as he ate.  And then paying for it was another lesson in humiliation as he once again had to unzip his purse, pull out his wallet pay for everything with his fingernails on display, and then reverse the procedure by putting his wallet away in his purse and zip it closed again.  Pockets were a lot easier!

Now could they please go home?  But once again he realized the answer was no.  And there it was.  The one place he really didn’t want to walk into today with his red fingernails and his new red purse.  The supermarket.  But he had known from the start that it would be inevitable.  It felt so weird having to grab the handles of his purse as he got out of the car.  It felt so weird having to carry the damn thing into the store.  It felt like a relief when he could drop the thing into the child seat of the shopping cart where he planned on putting groceries on top of it so it wouldn’t be seen.  Now how could he hide his red fingernails?

As always, Jackie shopped like she walked slowly.  He himself literally had no choice but to wander the aisles slowly shopping behind her.  She was the one who had driven.  He didn’t want to stand around waiting for her.  So he shopped slowly too, picking up everything he needed.  Some of the first items did indeed get put on top of his purse to hide the damn thing.  Finally they were done.  Finally, his too red fingernails flashed again and again as he pulled things from his shopping cart to put them on the checkout conveyor.  Finally he had to set his damn purse down and unzip the top to get at his wallet.  Fortunately, processing his credit card didn’t require him to hand the cashier anything at all.  And finally he was able to stick his wallet back into his purse and zip the thing back up.

With a grocery cart loaded with food, he stood past the checkout counters and waited while Jackie paid for her groceries.  His purse was in the child seat of the cart.  His hands were in his pockets.  He had already seen enough people staring at him today, all of them alerted to his condition by his too bright red nails.  He seriously doubted any of them had noticed his shoes…until they saw his red nails first.  Then he was sure they had looked him over too carefully.

He was so glad when Jackie finally drove him home, where she parked in her driveway.  Jim crossed his lawn while she went inside to put a few bags away, then she followed over to his house where she changed his wet diaper.  Naturally, Jim wished she’d do more than unlock just his onesie.  In fact, as far as he was concerned, she could leave the onesie locked for a while longer, if she would just unlock his chastity device.  It didn’t happen though.

A short while later, he was freshly diapered and locked.  Jackie turned to him before she left his house.  “Don’t forget, Beverly spends most of her time in her living room where she sees everything that goes on through her front window, so whenever you go out your door, don’t forget your purse now.  You wouldn’t want to spend an entire week in that spikey chastity device would you?”

Jim’s eyes bulged at just the thought of it.  “No,” he mumbled, as he tried to imagine a week in that damn thing.  With a small laugh, Jackie was gone. 

Jim stared at his new purse.  He already wasn’t looking forward to the next time he went out his door.  With a sigh, he opened the package of travel size tissue packs and dropped one inside his purse.  He zipped it closed again, then turned his back to it and headed for his office.  He wanted to do everything possible to not think about it anymore.

Later that afternoon though, he stared at it again for a few moments, before bowing to the inevitable and grabbing it.  He carried it down to the end of his driveway where it quickly became a major nuisance as he took his mail from the mailbox.  He was tempted to glance across the street to Beverly’s house, but he didn’t.  He knew though that there was a good chance she was in her living room and that she could see him.  Keeping his back to her the entire time, he carried his mail, and his purse, back into the house.  A purse.  What a nuisance!

 

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Too Old to be Young - Chapter 19 – Part 1 of 3

 

Too Old to be Young

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 19 – Part 1 of 3

 

Jim woke up Wednesday morning with an ache in his loins that overshadowed everything else that he felt.  An ache he knew already he would have no way at all to deal with.  Inside his thick nighttime diaper, he couldn’t even feel his penis, locked up inside that damn nub chastity device.  His entire consciousness wanted him to roll over and deal with his sexual ache, but what would be the point if for all intents and purposes, he didn’t even have a penis anymore…at least for the next week.  And maybe longer, depending on nothing more than a roll of a single die.  Torture!

His headphones were laying on the pillow next to him.  He could barely hear a bit of sound coming from them, playing his hypnotic recordings on an endless loop.  It was just too hard for him to sleep all night with that racket playing right in his ears all the time.  Once again he had gotten rid of the recording after a few hours of trying to sleep with it.  For once, he wasn’t as interested in whether or not he had slept through any of his peeing.  He was far more worried about the day ahead.

Beverly was taking him out this morning.  Demented Beverly was taking out out…where they were both going to get mani-pedi’s together.  Crazy demented Beverly was taking him out…where he was going to have his fingernails and toenails painted – red!  And he would be wearing that nail polish for the rest of the week, including in public – a lot!  And after that, he would be wearing other colors of nail polish, in public, from then on.  His sexual aching grew worse at the thought of it.  A sexual aching he could do nothing to quench.

Coffee!  He needed coffee!  As he got up from the bed and headed to the kitchen, the usual need to pee hit him.  He didn’t even think of holding back.

While his coffee maker brewed, he sat at his desk and tried to figure out what to do with himself.  He could have worked on whittling down the few remaining recordings he was listening to at night, but it didn’t seem to interest him.  Continuing working on his long story didn’t interest him.  Going through all his old stories didn’t interest him either.  Even searching the web for anything fun didn’t interest him.  Nothing interested him.  He finally went back to the kitchen where he filled a small baby bottle with coffee, plopped the hot bottle into a koozie to keep it hot and keep his hands from burning, and he took a drink.  He went back to his desk where he chewed on the bottle nipple while he tried to figure out what to do.

Finally giving up, he carried his bottle back to the bedroom and laid down.  Bad-news Beverly was taking him out this morning for a mani-pedi.  He’d be walking around in public from now on with nail polish like a sissy.  Something that would only be made more obvious later in the week when Jackie would make him start carrying a purse everywhere.

He had moved into this house to be alone with his fun.  But he had ruined all that when he met Jackie.  Now…his life was over!  All that, and for the next week, at least, he couldn’t even get the fun he so desperately wanted.  He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling for a long time.  Long enough that he was surprised when he heard his front door open and Jackie called out, “Hi Jim.”

“I’m in here!” Jim called back.

Jackie went in and found him lying on his bed.  “What’s up?” she asked.

Jim stared at her for a moment, the look on his face letting her know most of his thoughts.

“Worried about today?” Jackie said with a grin.

“Wouldn’t you be?” Jim asked sarcastically.

“Are you kidding?  It sounds like fun to me,” Jackie replied.

“You’re not me!”

Jackie laughed.  “You got yourself into this mess.”

Jim rolled his eyes and looked away from her.  “Don’t remind me.  And speaking of mess…”

He got up from the bed.  Jackie unlocked his onesie and Jim quickly headed into the shower.  She had unlocked his onesie…why couldn’t she have unlocked his damn chastity device as well?

A single diaper (fortunately…and she had asked if he wanted something thicker).  A onesie locked over the diaper.  A nice shirt and a nice pair of pants.  And his black women’s heels.  No socks or hose of any kind.  He was about as ready to go as he could be…physically.  Not mentally at all.  He simply couldn’t imagine walking around having bright red nail polish on his fingers all the time.  He wasn’t even thinking about his toes.  All his shoes hid his toes anyway, so he didn’t care that much about it.  But his fingers!  How the heck was he supposed to go through life with colorful fingernails?  He simply couldn’t imagine it.

A few minutes before ten, his phone rang.  He noticed it was Beverly calling.  “Hello?”

“Hi Jim,” Bev replied.  “All set?”

He wasn’t, but there was no getting around it.  “Yeah.  I’ll be right there.”  He hung up his phone and headed out the door, remembering that in a few days he would be heading out the door with a purse on his arm as well.  That would be another thing he couldn’t handle.  He simply couldn’t imagine it.  Just like he couldn’t imagine wearing nail polish all the time now either.

Beverly was out her door by the time he was halfway across the street.  In minutes he was in her car letting her drive him to…a nail salon.  No, even if he wasn’t used to not holding back his pee all the time now, he would have peed his diaper anyway.  Fortunately, it was just a bit of dampness that leaked out.

Beverly was talking almost non-stop.  Fortunately, she wasn’t asking him any questions.  He was so preoccupied with what was about to happen that he mostly tuned her out as he worried about what lay ahead.  How was he supposed to act when he got there?  He didn’t have to worry about what everyone there would think about him.  He already had a pretty good idea about that.  Fortunately, they couldn’t see his diaper under his clothes.  He hoped!

Soak the feet, scrub the feet.  He didn’t care about any of that, except for the fact that it was all prolonging his embarrassment of just being there.  It was also prolonging the inevitable, having red nail polish applied to his toes.  He hadn’t heard what damn Beverly had said to the little woman working on his feet, but she had only looked at him…surprisingly, without laughing.  Everything from that point on had been all business.  Thank God!  With Beverly sitting right next to him and someone else working on her feet, he was forced to sit there and watch the little woman working on his feet, while Beverly talked to him…and both women working on them about her family.  Right then, he couldn’t have cared less about Bev’s family.  He knew she was just trying to distract him, but it wasn’t working.

And then it happened.  He watched as the woman opened the bottle of red nail color, and boom!  She started applying it to one of his toenails.  Red!  It stuck out like a neon sign against his pale skin.  One toe, then the next…while Bad News Beverly continued to chat next to him.  The only time he said anything was when she mentioned how nice the red color looked on his nails and asked him if he thought so too.  He said yes, but what he really wanted to do was jump up and run.

Ten red toenails, then the light to dry them, all while Beverly continued to talk about…he wasn’t even sure anymore.  The only thing he could concentrate on were his red toenails…and what else was soon to come. 

And then he got taken out of his chair and moved to a table where the woman started working on his hands…his fingers…his fingernails.  Cut and shape.  Buff.  Push the cuticles back.  Work, work, work.  Do this, do that…but he knew it was coming.  The red stuff.  And there it was.  The same bottle she had used on his now bright red toes.  He wanted to whimper as she opened the bottle.  It was all he could do to keep himself from making a sound.  Two seconds after he watched the first stroke of the bright red color being applied to one of his nails, he felt some pee being applied to the inside of his diaper.  He considered himself lucky he didn’t need to shit just then, because he might have.

One finger, two fingers, three….  Every stroke of the brush made the fingers of his hands more noticeable, more difficult to hide.  Every stroke of her brush cemented his fate of displaying to the entire world around him what a sissy he was.  Every stroke of her brush drove home the fact that he could never hide or deny what he was again.  It would all be far more public now than anything he ever wanted…like it or not.  What was he going to do?

He stared at his fingers and stared at them, unable to take his eyes off them.  He couldn’t even take his eyes off his fingers while they were in the dryer.  And when they came out, they were still just as red.  He had red nails!

Five minutes later, their bills paid, he followed Bad News Beverly out to her car where he was grateful to get in and out of sight.  Beverly mentioned a number of times how nice his nails looked now.  He said nothing.  He wasn’t capable of saying anything.  He just wanted to go home. 

But crazy Beverly seemed to have other ideas as she pulled into the parking lot of a drug store.

“Coming?” Beverly asked as she opened her door.

“What?”

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“What for?”

“Jim, I told you, I’ve got to pick up my prescriptions.  Weren’t you listening?”

He hadn’t been.  “Oh yeah,” he replied.  “Sorry.”

“Then come in with me.”

“Why?”

“Jim, you might as well get used to having those pretty red nails out in public.  So come in with me.  It’s not going to kill you!”

Ugh!  He wasn’t sure about that at all.  But he got out of the car, and doing his best not to look at his hands, he followed her inside and all the way to the back corner where she stood in line to get her medicines…while he stood to the side and stuck his hands in his pockets.  After Beverly got her pills, he kept his hands in his pockets while she wandered through the store a bit shopping.  It felt like an hour before they went back to the car, even though it hadn’t been that long at all.  He just wanted to go home…which again didn’t happen.

Jim wanted to scream when instead of going home, Beverly pulled into the lot of a restaurant.  She didn’t really expect him to go in there did she?  But he knew already that she did.  With his hands in his pockets again, he followed her inside.  He did his best to talk politely with Beverly while they waited for their food to be delivered, but he kept his hands under the table as much as possible.  But he couldn’t keep them there to eat.  No matter how much he tried not to notice them, his eyes still caught sight of his fingernails as he ate.  If he was trying not to see his hands and he could still see that red color, how easy was it for everyone else around him to notice his fingernails too?  Too easy!  Paying his bill was another exercise in feeling humiliated.  Fortunately, not one person mentioned his red fingernails, even though he knew for a fact that both the waitress had stared at them and so did the woman taking his money.

As he got back in Beverly’s car, he prayed that she would finally take him home.  Fortunately, she did.  As soon as he said goodbye to her and finally got back into the safe confines of his house, his cellphone rang.  Jackie!  “Hello?”

“Jim!  Come over and let me see.”

“Now?”

“Why not?  It’s not like you need to stop for a minute and use the bathroom or anything.”

She did have a point.  With no reason to delay it, he headed next door.  Jackie already had her door open.  He didn’t even get inside before she grabbed his hands and held them so she could see.

“Lovely!” she declared.

He said nothing to that.  Five minutes later he was home again, sitting at his desk.  But all he could do was stare at his red fingernails.  What was he going to do?  How was he going to handle it?  He made a fresh pot of coffee, still constantly noticing his fingernails.  When the coffee was ready, he poured it into one of his small baby bottles.  He stuck the bottle in his mouth and sucked, and drank, and chewed on the nipple in his mouth for a very long time while he stared out the crack between the curtains at his backyard.  What was he going to do?

 

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On Thursday he was still trying to cope with having bright red fingernails.  At least he didn’t have to go anywhere that day…except he did, but it was just next door to Jackie’s house since she invited him over for lunch.  She mentioned how nice his nails looked.  He had no comment about that.  He was more concerned now about what would happen the next day.  Friday.  Purse day.  Jackie never once mentioned it, so he didn’t.  But that didn’t mean he didn’t constantly worry about it.

 

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