Lonely Adventure Journal – Day 7

Well, it’s been a week now. I started all this Sunday evening and now Sunday has managed to roll itself back around again.

Yesterday was a busy day for me – especially in the morning. I headed out to do the “Wal-Mart” thing fairly early around 8 am – double diapered and pantyhosed (leggs sheer energy – suntan). I purposely wore my baggy jeans because I felt there would be less chance for anyone to spot that I was wearing diapers (I’m not self-conscious, am I?). I left home right after I changed out of my night diapers so they wouldn’t be too wet and bulky while I was out. Wouldn’t you know it, I wet myself as I was driving into the parking lot. So I worried even more about if they would show. Now I’ve worn diapers out under my clothes in public lots of times, but this was the first time for this adventure so I guess I was a little more aware of them. As I walked up to the front door, I was trying to check out my reflection in the mirror – everything looked ok from the front, but I was more worried about the view from the back. Not much I could do about it though. I remember worrying many times as I walked through the store, “Can she (or he) see that I’m wearing diapers? And can they tell that they’re wet?” As far as I know, nobody glanced twice at my butt. Yeah, oh yeah, I did wet myself in the store, several times. My body has gotten itself into this routine where it just happens, usually in fairly minor amounts, but it does just come out of me. I’ll discuss this a bit more later. But… something else happened while I was looking at some recordable CDs. I suddenly – without warning of any kind – messed myself. Now I had inserted my usual nightly suppository around 10 pm the night before. I had been up out of bed since 5 am. I had had breakfast, did the dishes, done lots of things. And there had never been the least bit of a sign that that suppository was going to do anything. During the week, I’ve noticed that what they’ve mostly done is to keep me more regular than usual and I’m able to make very good use of the bathroom at work. But yesterday, and without warning, I lost it into the back of my diapers. Fortunately, not much at all came out (I guess the suppositories are keeping me fairly well cleaned out). But out it came. I was soooo surprised. Now I had to worry about if anybody could smell me. I have to be honest now. As soon as it happened. I tightened up my muscles a bit against it happening even more. I’m very ashamed of that. Sissy babies don’t have any control when they’re not at work. But I was fighting a mental battle with myself. Do I continue to soil myself, or do I let it happen like it should? Now I know very little had come out (all mush too from the suppository), so I kind of kept myself in just a lightly tightened state where more would only come out if it had enough force. Fortunately, the feelings died down after a little while and I mostly stopped worrying about it.

While I was shopping, I found myself a nice bra and a dress to wear. I really wanted a pretty new sundress, but for some unknown reason, that particular Wal-Mart had very few. I was a bit exasperated over it. But… I did eventually find a dress that I’m really happy with. It’s kind of a light brown, almost tan, in color. Not the flowery material that sundresses are usually made of, but a really nice dress – and I love it.

As soon as got home, I absolutely had to try everything on – and both the bra and dress fit wonderfully. So I made myself some bird-seed breast forms and I love them too.

Unfortunately, I had lots of chores to do – outside. So I had to take off the dress and remove the breast forms. I’d like to confirm that when it takes over three hours to cut your lawn, it’s really nice to not have to stop to use the bathroom all the time.

One of my goals for this adventure was to see if I could once again get myself to the point where I’m occasionally wetting myself before I know that I have to. I can announce with certainty that this is happening, and really has been for a few days now – more and more. While I do often feel that I’m going to pee, it really doesn’t matter to me that I’m going to. But more and more often I’m finding myself realizing that either I’m peeing, or realizing that I’ve just peed, or now sometimes – did I just wet myself? I’m paying so little attention to it now that I’m not always aware of it at all. The only reason that I say this is because yesterday there were a few times when I noticed that my diapers were suddenly a bit warmer in that area than they usually are. And… I’m enjoying it. Crazy, but that’s me.

Sissy Dani left me a suggestion: Go through the drive-in at a fast-food place in a dress and heels...or wearing only a lacy camisole for a top.” I’m seriously considering doing this. No, I will do this, probably Monday or Tuesday. I just have to work out a few of the variables as to exactly what I’m going to wear. Any other ideas?

I’m about to be invaded by family today. I really don’t want them to come, but what am I to do. I’ve been in diapers every evening for the past week and all weekend so far. I’m seriously considering wearing only one diaper while they’re here, just so I can stay diapered. I guess I’m enjoying it that much. I think I can get away with it, but will I actually do it? I just don’t know yet. As they say, stay tuned.