But What Is It?

Don’t bother reading this since I know nobody is interested.

You don’t know it, but last week I almost had a chance to play again. For a while there, I was going to be taking my mother-in-law and my wife back to Louisiana to stay for a while. But at the last minute, the plans changed. My mother-in-law is suddenly having major blood pressure problems and we’re waiting till the doctors can get it all sorted out.

Anyway, the minute I thought I might be getting another little play period, my crazy mind started going into overdrive.

Now… I’m a computer programmer by trade. Some of the purchased software our company uses has a little program built into it called “Neospeach” which is a computer generated voice syntheses program that turns text into voice. Amazing! And it works well. Anyway, I recently built kind of an outside interface into the program so we can use it for other things than just the few simple things it was intended for.

Those of you – who hopefully aren’t reading this – who have been around for a while, know that I have this oddball love of diapers, and especially wetting them spontaneously before I know I have to do it. Yes, okay, I’m weird! Get over it. To each his own!

So where was I? Oh yeah! Now when I’m playing, and especially when I’m just beginning my play, I’ve found that the best way to get my body into this kind of wetting mode is to lay back and repeat what has kind of become a mantra for me, over and over again. “Relax. Relax. No Control. No Control.” Simple and corny, but it works for me – and it works well. Every time I tell myself to relax, I try to relax every muscle in my body more and more – especially my sphincter and bladder muscles. Then I remind myself over and over again not to control myself when the feeling hits me – No control!

On top of that, the last time I played, I got interested in listening to some of the free hypnosis files from Warp My Mind. One of the things I discovered, was that some of them are done with voice synthesis programs instead of someone having to talk through it. The ones I heard were very obviously synthesized, but still, kind of interesting.

So… Naturally… I got to thinking… And… I’m afraid my mind turned toward that little mantra I use. What if, instead of me just thinking it over and over again in my head, what if I built a recording with the voice synthesizer instead. Now you know me! Once I get a stupid idea in my head, I can’t seem to let go of it. So, I sat down and quickly started writing a little script. But, as I was doing it, I began to think, why not include some of the other little mental suggestions I keep giving myself in the script too, just to make it better. In the end, I actually worked for almost an hour to come up with a simple script that I wanted to try. In my mind, I thought it would last about ten minutes – maybe.

So I cut the script up into a bunch of little segments to make the recording easier to manage. Then I put them into the synthesizer, checked them. Tweaked them (a bit – I didn’t have much time). And finally sewed them all together.

What I finally came up with surprised me. No it’s not a hypnotic file. But it’s also not just a mantra either. It’s something else – something in the middle between the two – or something that’s equally both of them. And at the speed I wound up recording it, I was surprised to find that it lasted a bit over twenty minutes!

No, the voice inflection isn’t nearly like I would use, but still, the end product wasn’t all that bad. Basically, for twenty minutes, the listener get’s hammered with – Relax. Relax. No control. No control. Along with some other suggestions all through it.

I really was looking forward to trying it out, but that’s when my whole little planned play period fell by the wayside. Oh well. At least I still have it to use the next time I get to play – whenever that may be.

See. I told you not to read this!

Stay happy y’all,
Karen