The Legend of
Bastien
By Karen Singer
Chapter 7 – The Addendum – Part 1 of 2
Here
it is Vince,” Olivia told her husband as she carried the stack of papers back
into his office. “Although like I told
you earlier, I don’t see where it’s necessary.”
Judge
Vincent Bastien took the stack of papers from his wife. “This whole thing with that boy was a bit
complicated to begin with, and now you’re making it doubly so. In fact, you’ve made this whole thing so
complicated, we and everyone else are going to need it spelled out in writing
just to understand it.” He looked over
at Tom. “Isn’t that the way you see it?”
“Without
a doubt!” Tom Bastien replied. He had
read through the changes that the two women were proposing and didn’t see the
need for any of it. Furthermore, it was
going to be nothing but a total headache for him and his deputies. But if his mother and father were ordering it,
then he had no choice but to go along with it.
Besides, most of the time his deputies sat around with nothing to do
anyway. He had already decided though
that after he got home tonight, he and his wife were going to have a serious
talk about things. Half of what was now
being ordered, he barely understood.
The
judge read through the addendum that his wife had created then passed one of them
over to his son. Tom read through it
quickly. It was exactly the same as the
paper they had shown him earlier, and he still didn’t see the need for any of
it. Why couldn’t they have just let him
put a bullet in the boy’s head? It would
have saved everyone a whole lot of trouble. Maybe, one of these days, he should quietly do
just that.
Alicia
was the one to ask the next question. “Do you see any need to post this all over
town?”
“We’re
going to have to,” the judge replied. “We’re
specifically asking everyone in the entire community to take part. And I have no doubt that figuring all that
out will be difficult enough.”
“Not
to mention,” Tom said, “it’ll give everyone something else to talk about, other
than trying to figure out when the next snowstorm will hit us.”
The
judge nodded his agreement.
“You
want this posted tonight,” Tom asked, “or should we wait till morning? It’s already getting pretty late.”
“No,”
the judge replied. “Wake ‘em up! Get your deputies busy.”
Tom
nodded, then looked at his wife.
“There’s one thing in here that I’m not sure about,” he said. “Not that I’m that sure about any of it. But do you need to contact Fred or Betty to
get into the store?”
“That
might help,” Alicia replied. “We can
stop there on the way.”
--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---
Like
the night before, Tess didn’t make him wear a diaper to bed. Once the evening had fully set in and all was
quiet, Tess allowed him to use the bathroom and keep his diaper off. Chris was very grateful. She had just put him into his new flannel
pajamas for bed when the sound of someone knocking forcefully on the door
nearly made her heart stop. The fact
that her son was out of diapers when she knew he was supposed to be in them was
an equal reason for concern. “Get into
the shower! Run!” she whispered
urgently.
The
knock came again as Chris disappeared into the bathroom. She hurried to the front door and opened it,
and nearly died. Standing outside was
not just the sheriff, but his wife Alicia and his mother Olivia. She didn’t invite them in because the Sheriff
immediately pushed his way inside and they all entered.
“Where’s
the boy?” the sheriff asked.
“In
the bathroom. It’s late and I sent him
to get his shower before bed.”
“Get
him!”
Tess
ran to the bathroom. “Chris!” she said
as she knocked on the bathroom door, before opening it. “Chris, the sheriff, his wife, and Olivia
Bastien are all here. And they want
you.”
Chris
nearly fainted.
“Turn
the water off and dry yourself quicky.
I’ll get you a diaper.”
Inside
the shower, Chris had only gotten his arms wet because the water was so cold
when he turned it on. He quickly wet his
legs and body before turning the water off.
He was still drying himself off when the bathroom door opened, and he
saw his mother there with another of those toddler diapers.
“Don’t
bother with the diaper!” Olivia called from the living room. “He might as well come out here naked.”
“What
do they want?” Chris whispered to his mother.
“I
don’t know,” she replied. “But whatever
it is, it can’t be good. Just wrap that
towel around you and come out the way you are.
Don’t bother drying off anymore.”
Chris
wrapped the towel around him and followed his mother out into their small
living room. The room was much more
crowded now with all the people there.
“Well! Took you long enough,” Olivia said as she
eyed the still-wet boy.
“What’s
the problem?” Tess asked. “We’ve spent
most of the evening working on his makeup like you asked,” Tess added.
“Hmph!”
Olivia grunted as she turned her attention from the boy back to his
mother. She grinned evilly. “I was amused the other day when you came to
visit. I rather liked the curtsey you
gave me. I think that from now on, I’d
like to see you continue doing that.
Anytime you talk to me, or even cross my path, I expect a nice polite
curtsey from you…and your son!”
Tess
felt her face turning red. It had just
happened that day. Olivia always just
affected her that way. She nodded. “As you wish.”
Olivia
looked at Alicia for a moment, then back to Tess. “I think it’s only fitting that you treat
Alicia the same way. Curtsey. And perhaps, my granddaughter too,
Miranda. You can curtsey whenever you
see any of us. You…and your son, so I
suggest you teach him…soon! Because his
path and mine will cross a lot!”
Tess
wasn’t sure if she was supposed to or not, but Olivia was frightening her so
much that she automatically dropped a small curtsey as she said, “Of course.”
Olivia
smiled. “Charming.”
“Was
there anything else?” Tess asked.
“Anything
else?” Olivia said. “Of course there’s
something else. Curtseying was the last
thing on my mind…until we actually got here.”
Tess
was scared and very worried, but so far, it didn’t sound like they had come to
actually kill Chris. “What is it?” she
asked.
“A
whole lot of things,” Olivia said as she grabbed one of the Addendum papers the
sheriff was holding. “My husband…the
judge…even had me type all this out so your little brain could study it and
there would be no questions about any of it.”
Tess
eyed the paper with nothing but dread.
Olivia
turned to her son, the sheriff. “Tom,
you’re the sheriff, so I guess it’s your job to officially fill her in on all
the good news.”
Good
news? That caught Tess’s attention.
Tom
looked down at the lengthy paper in his hand and began to read:
“Addendum to the
Christopher Moore, Town Cocksucker Law
By order of Judge
Vincent Bastien
The
following rules and restrictions shall hereby be added to the law concerning
Christopher Moore, which made him the official town cocksucker.
1.
From
this point on, Christopher Moore shall be legally known and addressed as
Chrissy Moore by everyone.
2.
Because
of the sizable debt that Chrissy and his mother, Tess Moore, have accrued at
the town dry-goods store, a count of every single person that Chrissy services
shall be kept and reported to the town sheriff.
For each of those services, Chrissy shall have one dollar removed from
the amount of that debt.
3.
Since
to this point, Chrissy has spent most of his days in school and has been unable
to meet the amount of servicing that would be required to lower that debt in
any meaningful way, it has been deemed that because of his position as town
cocksucker, Chrissy no longer needs any formal education and shall no longer be
required to attend school. Instead, a
town deputy shall pick Chrissy up each morning from his home and take him to
wherever it is decided that his services can be put to the best use.
4.
It
has been noted that because of the crime Chrissy Moore committed, that
obviously his mother did not discipline him properly and raise him like she
should have. Therefore, it is ordered
that she will learn to discipline him properly now. To that end, a system of demerits shall be
instituted to keep track of every little infraction that Chrissy Moore
makes. For each and every infraction,
Chrissy shall receive one demerit. Every
evening before bed, a town deputy will stop at their home to deliver the number
of demerits that Chrissy received that day.
While the deputy acts as witness, Tess Moore shall deliver ten hard and
purposeful spanks to the bare bottle of her son for each demerit while he is bent
over her lap. The deputy shall be
responsible for counting the spanks, and only the spanks that the deputy feels
are firm enough shall be counted. If
Chrissy does not receive any demerits during the day, then he shall still
receive ten spanks for all the ones he should have gotten earlier in his life
but didn’t.
5.
Because
it has been noted that many people in this community have had the misconception
that the former Christopher Moore was highly intelligent, then an effort must
be made to correct that misconception and ensure that it never happens again. To accomplish that, from this point on, every
time Chrissy says anything at all, he will do everything possible to make
himself sound as childish as possible. To
aid in that, the following restrictions shall be applied to Chrissy’s speech,
and for each and every mistake that anyone hears Chrissy make, he shall receive
one demerit. The demerits will be
counted and punished at the end of each day.
a.
From
this point on, any time Chrissy says anything, he is never allowed to pronounce
the letter L in any of his words. All L
sounds in any word shall be replaced with the sound of W instead.
b.
From
this point on, any time Chrissy says anything, he is never allowed to pronounce
the letter R in any of his words. All R
sounds shall be replaced with either the sound of W or the sound of A instead,
whichever will sound the most childish.
c.
From
this point on, any time Chrissy says anything, he is never allowed to pronounce
the letter S in any of his words. All S
sounds in any word shall be replaced with the sound of TH instead.
d.
From
this point on, any time Chrissy says anything, he is never allowed to pronounce
the sound that the combined letters of TH would make in any word. All TH sounds in any word shall be replaced
with the sound of D instead. While this
may seem like a contradiction to an earlier rule, it shall be separate since it
concerns only words where the TH sound is normally in the correct spelling of
the word.
6.
Since
Chrissy Moore shall always be in diapers like a baby and will be speaking more
like a young toddler, from this point on Chrissy Moore is further restricted to
drinking only from baby bottles like a baby.
To this end, his mother shall never send him out of the house without a
full baby bottle so he will always have one available to drink from.
7.
After
being spanked each night, before the town deputy leaves, he shall be
responsible for ensuring that Chrissy is put back in diapers and is then sent
straight to bed, at which time his mother will give him a full baby bottle of milk
to drink. Another deputy will be
responsible for stopping by sometime during the night to make sure that bottle
is empty.
8.
Since
Chrissy’s position is a twenty-four-hour a day job and someone may wake him up
in the middle of the night for his services, the door to Chrissy’s home shall
remain unlocked at all times and a light shall be kept on somewhere in the
house at night so that anyone needing Chrissy’s services can see and it will be
easier for the town deputies to do their assigned duties. It is recommended that his mother keep an
extra baby bottle available for him next to his bed to help him get back to
sleep.
9.
Chrissy
Moore’s mother, Tess Moore, shall always keep herself ready and available to
change her son’s diapers at a moment’s notice.
Every effort shall be made to either transport her to her son, or
transport her son to her, to make this happen.
Since Chrissy is only allowed to drink from baby bottles, in order for
him to remain healthy, it is recommended that Tess also keep additional baby
bottles with her to replace any empty ones that Chrissy may have.
All
citizens of Bastien are asked to make sure that Chrissy Moore adheres to each
and every requirement and restriction to both the original law and this
addendum, and that they dutifully report each and every infraction to one of
the town deputies as soon as possible.
Anyone caught not reporting an infraction shall be fined and/or receive
time in jail.
All
this is so ordered by Vincent Bastien, Judge and highest authority of Bastien,
Wisconsin.”
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