My Funny Farm - Chapter 8 – My Funny Farm or Yours

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 8 – My Funny Farm or Yours

 

Having to sit down and eat when your bladder is bursting to pee is not fun!  Once my little talk was done with James and Ashley, they took off to go home and I was left in the care of Emily, Caitlin, and Bill.  So far, other than being stuck in a diaper under my pants, they were all being nice as hell to me.  Did I dare ask to be allowed to use the bathroom?  Something told me that if I did, one of them would decide to impose one of those punishments on me that James and Ashley had talked about…that were now growing even foggier in my pill messed brain.  So I fought with my need to pee, while I attempted to eat some kind of pasta concoction that Emily had come up with for lunch…oh, and of course keep working on that baby bottle of orange juice they had given me earlier.  I had to pee so bad though that drinking anything wasn’t in my best interest.

Since they were all treating me so nice, I was starting to think that maybe after lunch they might let me sit down with them and watch some TV or something.  Nope!  Didn’t happen.  When lunch ended, Caitlin asked me to help clear the table and load the dishwasher.  The moment all that was done, Emily was there groping my pants in a rather uncomfortable way.

“I can’t feel well enough with those pants on,” she stated, sounding frustrated.  I don’t really think she was frustrated by my pants at all.  I think she had it planned.  “Hold still, baby,” she told me, emphasizing the baby word.  I got the point and stood there while she undid by pants and pulled them down to my ankles.  Then the rude groping started all over again.  “I certainly hope you’re not holding back,” she accused.  “You’re still dry!”

“Which means you don’t have to worry about changing me,” I told her, hoping to put her mind at rest.

“I wasn’t going to change you anyway,” she replied snarkily.

“Then why did you check?” I asked.

“To see if you’re wet of course, and how bad.  Stupid baby.  Here,” she said.  “Step out of those pants,” she told me.  “You don’t need them.”

With the shoes still on my feet, she helped me get my pants over them and off.  She handed me my still mostly full baby bottle and pointed to the floor.  “Sit!” she ordered.  “And finish that bottle.”

“Can I sit in my chair in the living room?” I asked.

“No!  Babies belong on the floor!  Sit!  Right there!” she said, pointing to that same spot in the kitchen.

Doing my best to put up with this new life, I sat on the floor feeling totally stupid.

“And don’t get up till I say you can,” she told me next.  “I want to see that bottle finished, and I had better see you in a wet diaper very soon.”

I couldn’t believe that.  “You want to see me wet?”

“Yes!  I need to know you’re not holding back…like I think you are.”  She leaned down toward me and ran her hand lovingly against my face.  “If you hold back,” she said softly, “then when you wet, you’re going to flood your diaper and there’s more of a chance of it leaking.  If you don’t hold back, then you’ll pee more often, but a lot less will come out, and that diaper will have time to absorb it better.  Your choice, be left in a leaky diaper and then get punished for it each time, or keep wetting as soon as you can, and be a lot more comfortable and happier.  Now finish that bottle so we can give you some computer time before your nap.”  With that, she stood up and walked away.

Had she said computer time?  I was almost sure she had.  But my head was still spinning over her trying to give me reasons to not hold back when I needed to pee.  Not that I was going to listen to those reasons of course.  Not wetting myself was too firmly ingrained in my system.

I stuck the bottle nipple in my mouth and sort of sucked, but with as badly as I needed to pee, I wasn’t the least bit interested in drinking any of it.  I sat there and squirmed, trying not to wet myself, while I mostly chewed on that nipple, taking only little bits of the juice here and there when I thought about it.

As I squirmed where I sat, my mind was not only on my need to pee, I was also trying to consider ending this farce of what they were calling treatment.  Besides, I didn’t need any kind of therapy.  I was perfectly happy with wanting to be left all alone and most likely ending my life on my own terms.  Misery because my wife had left me behind, and now misery with the way my entire family was treating me.

I remembered how I had gotten out of it last time.  I had complained!  I had let my frustrations out to Doctor Clive, and she had come through for me.  Maybe that’s all I needed to do this time too.  Stick up for myself and act like a man.  Fight back!  In fact, maybe that’s what they really wanted out of me, to see me stand up for myself and show them that I’m alive and I’m not going to lay down and submit to whatever they claimed they wanted.

And of course, that was when I felt the pee starting to escape.  I fought with it, but I already knew it was useless to try and hold it.  Why had I bothered?  Unless I got out of that diaper and simply moved myself to the bathroom and peed like I should, then there was no use holding back.  With a silent sigh, I let loose completely, and the pee flooded out of me for what seemed like forever.  The inside of my diaper felt like a warm bath.  After Emily’s little talk, I was indeed worried about leaking.

But now that I had my peeing problem out of the way, I felt it was time to reassert myself.  I stood up, feeling all that yucky wetness moving around inside my diaper.  I felt around the edges of the waistband.  Nope!  I didn’t feel any kind of leaks at all.  Emily had been trying to conn me again.  Well, I was done with that.  I set my mostly full baby bottle on the counter and headed purposely out to the living room, intending on heading to my bedroom to change out of that diaper, and maybe get a shower in the process.  Then I was going to lay my anger on all of them.  Maybe I should throw them all out of the house as well.  It was my house after all.

Waddling uncomfortably in that puddle filled diaper, I did my best to stride boldly out of the kitchen and into the living room where Emily, Bill, and Caitlin were watching TV.

“Did you finish your bottle, baby?” Emily asked.

“Go to hell!” I replied nastily.  “I’m getting a shower!”

“Whoa!” Caitlin exclaimed as she jumped to her feet.

“I’m a grown man, not a baby,” I told her.  “It’s time I started acting like it, and it’s time you all started treating me that way.  This is my life and my house, and you can all get out!”

“But Gramps,” Emily said.  “You agreed to this treatment.”

“Well now I’m unagreeing.  Go to hell!  All of you!”

“I’ll call Dad,” Caitlin said as she hurried to grab her phone.

I left them all and headed for my master bedroom shower.  It felt great to shower again in my own shower.  My house.  My bathroom.  My shower!  The water was hot and felt fantastic.  I stood under it and let it run over me for the longest time.  It didn’t really wash away any of my frustrations, but it certainly felt good.

I had just finally turned the water off and was getting ready to grab my towel when I heard, “Dad?”  James’ voice.

“Go to hell!  All of you!” I yelled back.”

“Dad!  What’s going on?” James asked as he intruded into the personal space of my bathroom. 

I quickly wrapped the towel around my still wet, naked body.  But it wasn’t just James that forced his way into what was supposed to be my private sanctum, both Doctor Clive and that woman detective came in with him.  “What are you doing here?” I demanded.  “Get out!  Leave!”

“No!” that woman detective replied firmly.

“Dad,” James said.  “You agreed to this treatment.”

“And now I’m not agreeing,” I told him.  “It’s stupid!  Now get out!  All of you!  And tell Emily and everyone else to start looking for somewhere else to live too.  This is my house, and my life, and I’m tired of everyone else trying to run it for me.”

“No problem, Mr. Bryson,” that detective told me.

Hooray!  Somone was going to listen to me. 

“We’ll take you back to the behavioral center just as soon as you get dressed.”

“You’ll what?”

“I was against you being released anyway,” she told me.  “It’s a bad idea!  That center is where you need to be.”

“Like hell!” I replied.  “There’s no way I’m going back into that place.  The people there are…nuts!  Not to mention, I had a high school kid for a doctor.”

“He wasn’t in high school, and you know it!” Doctor Clive argued.

“Well, it sure seemed like it,” I told her.

“I’m sorry,” the detective said.  “You don’t have a choice.  Now get dressed.  We’re going to see to it that you get back where you belong.”

“That damn place is not where I belong!” I argued.  “This is my home.  This is where I belong!”

She shook her head.  Not if you’re such a danger to yourself.”

“It’s my life!” I yelled.

“And we don’t care,” Doctor Clive told me.  “If you won’t submit to the treatment we outlined for you here at home, then you’re going back.  Now!”

“You call this treatment?”

“Yes!” Clive replied.

“Even the high school kid made more sense than this.”

“And we’re taking you right back to him, just as soon as you get dressed,” the detective told me.

I didn’t know what to do.  “So you’re telling me the only choices I have are to either stay here and put up with…stupid embarrassment that doesn’t make sense, or go back to that looney bin where even my own doctor doesn’t make any sense.”

“That’s what it boils down to,” Clive confirmed stubbornly.

“Nothing else!” the detective agreed.  “Like I said, that looney bin as you called it is where you need to be.  And that’s the only reason I’m here now, to see to it that you get there.”

I shook my head.  “I don’t want to go back there.”

“And evidently you don’t want to stay here either,” James said.

“Not if it means putting up with…whatever it was that everyone is trying to do to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Doctor Clive said.  “But those are your only two choices.  The family’s therapy for you, or the behavioral center where you really belong.  Now which is it going to be?  And hurry up.  My sister and I were enjoying a family get-together to come here and take care of you.”

I glared angrily at her and that detective.  “The funny farm, or the even funnier farm,” I muttered.

“Your choice, but make it quick, or we’re going to choose it for you by loading you into the car and taking you back downtown,” the detective told me.

“Shit!” I exclaimed loudly.  “I hate you all!”

“Fine with me,” Clive replied.  “That doesn’t bother me one bit.  Now, will you please get dressed so we can get you out of here.  And if you don’t, trust me, there’s enough of us here to simply dress you ourselves.”

They were right.  There were too many of them to fight.  Plus, Emily, Bill, and Caitlin out in the…oh, they were all watching from the bathroom doorway.  “I don’t want to go back to that…insane asylum,” I said.  “I can’t stand that place.”

“Then you’re going to have to put up with the treatment you’ll be getting here instead,” Doctor Clive told me.

“No.”

“Yes!  It’s either this or the center downtown.”

“No.” I said again.

“Come on,” the detective said.  “Let’s get him dressed.  Someone want to grab his clothes?”

“Damn it, no!” I said more firmly.

“Then what’s it going to be?” Clive asked me.  “We told you your choices, and they’re the only two choices you have.  The behavioral center, or the treatment outlined for you here.”

“I’m not going back to that…place,” I muttered.

“So you’re saying you’re going to submit completely to the treatment the family has for you and stop complaining about it?” Doctor Clive asked.

I looked up at her.  I looked around at everyone else.

“He belongs in that center,” the detective stated firmly.

“Which is it?” Clive demanded.  “Evidently you agreed to the treatment here earlier.  What changed?”

“It’s stupid!  They’re making me feel stupid,” I replied.

“True, and true,” she agreed.  “So are you ready to go downtown instead?”

I had to consider that.  Since they had shown up so quickly to force me back into that looney bin, I realized they weren’t giving me any other choices.  It was either one bad place or another.  If I went downtown, I would be saddled with everyone there that I hated.  But if I stayed here, I would be subjected to abject humiliation for the foreseeable future.  Plus, based on the fact that they had shown up here so quickly, including that policewoman, if I complained again, they really would force me back into that loony bin, and fast!  But…if I stayed here, at least I’d be in my own house and away from people I not only didn’t know, but I didn’t want to know or have around me.  People who were seriously nuts!

Like it or not, I muttered.  “I’ll stay here.”

“Ugh!” Detective Kinsley groaned.

“Fine!” Doctor Clive stated.  “Just remember, try to back out again and we’ll be back.  And next time there will be no choices.  You’ll go back to the city behavioral center, and stay there!”

I simply glared angrily at her, letting her know I wasn’t happy.

“Okay,” James said after we had all stood there looking at each other for a few moments.  “Maybe we better get him back into the program.  Em?  Caitlin?”

The two girls came in and Emily took the towel from around me, this time exposing my naked body to not just them, but everyone.  She used the towel to dry my body.

“Can we go now?” Detective Kinsley asked her sister.  “If we’re not going to take him back where he belongs, then I see no reason to stay.  I’d like to get back to the family.”

“Yeah,” Doctor Clive agreed.  “Me too.”  She looked to James.  “You’ve got my number.  Call if you need me.”

“Thanks,” James told her.  “I appreciate you both coming out like this.”

I was simply happy to see her and the woman detective, who was evidently her sister, go!

Emily grabbed my hand and led me out of my bathroom.  She took me over to the bed and had me lay on it again, on top of a stretched-out diaper.  Once again it looked like Caitlin and Emily were going to do their duo diapering trick on me.  I laid there and let Emily lather me up front and back, but Caitlin didn’t finish the job.  Instead, she turned to her father.

“Dad,” Caitlin said softly, looking at the bedroom doorway.  “Are they gone?”

James turned to Bill.  “Want to check to see if they’ve left yet.”

Bill hurried out of the room.  He was back less than a minute later.  “Gone!” he confirmed.

“What’s up?” James asked his daughter.

“One of the things we discussed,” Caitlin told him.  “Emily said he was purposely holding back on wetting himself earlier, plus, he just caused a big mess of everything afterwards.  Should he be punished, or did you want to wait on anything like that since we’re just starting?”

Punished?  They had to be kidding!  I hoped.

James considered that.  “No,” he said.  “We decided on the rules and how we should treat him.  It’s better if we’re as consistent with everything as possible.  So go ahead, at least with the one for holding back.”

“Good!” Emily replied.  “I think he deserves it.”

“So do I,” Caitlin agreed.

Now I was suddenly very worried.

“I’ll get it,” Caitlin said as she walked over toward my dresser.

“Roll over, baby,” Emily told me as she pushed on my body, helping me to turn over onto my stomach.

“What’s going on?” I asked, more than a bit frightened.

“You’re getting punished for holding back and not peeing as soon as you needed to,” Emily told me.

“You’re going to spank me?” I asked, not believing it.

“We could,” Emily replied.  “But that’s not our primary punishment for that problem.”

A moment later, I felt her putting more of that greasy stuff on me.  But it wasn’t being spread all over my bottom like she did a minute ago.  This time she was shoving a bunch of it right into my asshole.  “Hey!” I complained.

“Here,” Caitlin said as she came around to my head and suddenly shoved a pacifier in my mouth.  “Suck it!” she ordered.  “And shut up!”

I had barely gotten that thing in my mouth though when I felt something else being put up against my asshole.  Something hard that Emily was pushing on.  She kept pushing and pushing, and the thing felt like it was getting bigger and bigger as it spread my ass wider and wider.

“Uhhh!” I complained with that pacifier in my mouth, trying to tell them it was hurting.  “Stop!” I cried.

“Almost there baby,” Emily replied.

All of a sudden, the pressure forcing my ass to get wider changed and whatever it was seemed to go all the way in, all at once.  My ass wasn’t spread as wide as it had been, but it was still being held wider than I was used to.  I realized what they had done to me.  They had put some kind of butt plug in me.

Before I could complain further, Emily said.  “Roll over again baby.”

Between Emily and Caitlin, I was rolled all the way over onto my back.  Caitlin pulled that diaper up firmly between my legs and fasted it.

“Nap time, baby,” Emily told me as soon as Caitlin was done.  “And make sure you keep that pacifier in your mouth and keep sucking on it!  Remember it’s another punishment if you don’t.”

I wasn’t the least bit interested in the pacifier, I was more concerned with what was now stuck in my bottom, and even more so with the feeling that I desperately felt like I needed to poop.  I ignored the fact that Caitlin was pulling the covers up over me as I tried to push that darn plug out of me.  The difficulty factor was enormous, but I grunted and groaned trying.

Emily leaned over and kissed me on my forehead.  “Love you baby,” she said softly.

Caitlin was right behind her as I continued to fight with that plug in my bottom.  She kissed me on the cheek.  “Love you baby,” she said as well.

I was still ignoring both of them.  The only thing that concerned me was my invaded asshole, and trying to get that darn thing out.

The lights in my room were turned out and everyone left me alone.  All of that barely registered, I was too busy trying to expel that uncomfortable plug.  I fought and fought, and pushed and pushed, and finally I felt it moving out.  It immediately stretched my asshole a lot wider as it did.  Too wide.  Painfully wide.  But then it suddenly stopped and no matter how hard I pushed, it refused to budge another fraction of an inch.  I realized my damn diaper was so tight it was preventing the plug from coming out.  As long as I was wearing it, the plug wasn’t going to come out of me.

I had no choice, feeling like I desperately needed to poop, I gave up and relaxed and the damn plug felt like it snapped itself back into me.  What was I going to do?  I unconsciously chewed on my pacifier as I tried to come to grips with the problem.  The plug wasn’t going to come out until they took it out, and taking it out was probably going to hurt…a lot!  I didn’t see any way around that.

Doing my best to relax, despite that plug, I suddenly yawned.  While I had been stuck in that city behavioral center, I had taken a nap twice a day, mostly for lack of anything better to do.  Now they were forcing me to take one here.  Well, I was tired.  Of course, that last pill the center people had given me was still in my system, making me feel a bit lethargic as well.  I couldn’t wait to get them out of my system completely.  But in the meantime, maybe a nap wouldn’t be so bad.

I closed my eyes, trying to sleep.  The butt plug felt strange and bothersome, especially since it stimulated my need to poop so badly.  I tried to concentrate instead on the feel of the plug that was in my mouth.  Instead of chewing on it, I sucked it gently, trying to will the darn thing to grant me some kind of relief from the anxiety that was filling me.  I did everything possible to concentrate on that.  Suck and feel relief.  Suck and feel relief.  Suck and…

Somewhere in all that, despite needing to poop so badly, I fell asleep.

At least I was home, here in my own version of a funny farm.  But all I could think about was that I had more reason than ever to commit suicide.