My Funny Farm - Chapter 4 – Trouble In Whoville – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 4 – Trouble In Whoville – Part 1 of 2

 

Life got strange, real quick!  Before bed that first night, Emily and Caitlin both gave me a bath, and in the process, took the time to shave every hair from my body that was below my eyebrows.  Afterwards, finally dressed in a dry fresh diaper that I knew wouldn’t stay dry very long, Emily made matters completely worse when she sat down on the couch, and between Jared, Caitlin and Bill, they all made sure I laid my head in her lap so she could feed me my final bottle of baby formula for the night.  That was particularly not good for me since I was already getting desperate to pee again.  I had to find some way out of those diapers and soon, or I was going to be one very wet…baby.

When that bottle of formula was empty, Caitlin stuck that damn pacifier between my lips, then she and Emily put me into bed  That darn piece of rope was looped over one of my hands again and pulled tight, linking me to the bed.  I could pull my hand down as far as my waist, but that was it.  Getting out of bed would allow me to take a total of about one step, which meant that basically I was going nowhere.  Especially not into the bathroom, and not anywhere near where I might be able to find something to try and kill myself with.  I also had no way to kill myself because my hands were still bound up and useless in those too tight padded mittens.

It was only eight o’clock, and they were putting me to bed for the night.  Emily pulled the covers up over my nearly naked body.  Caitlin turned off the light, and without a word, the two women left me alone.  Alone!  I just couldn’t really enjoy being alone.

Please remember, I was already nearly bursting to pee and was trying to figure out what to do about it.  Plus, on a good night, before all of this, I usually got up two or three times during the night to pee, and that’s without drinking anything right before bed…like that bottle of formula they had just fed me.  Because of that bottle, I had no doubt that I’d be awake more than usual that night, trying to figure out how to pee without leaving the bed.  And I already had no doubt where all that pee was going to go.  I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I also wasn’t looking forward to spending the entire night in a wet diaper.  And I knew it was going to be the entire night because it had now been a long time since I had wet myself that one time earlier that day.  I wasn’t going to be able to hold out much longer.  Once again I squirmed around trying to fight it.  I pressed my one bound up hand that could reach against the front of my diaper.  I did everything I could to stop it, but none of it did any good at all.  Eventually, I felt it start happening just like it did before.  Lying on my back, the pee began leaking out a little at a time, then faster and faster.  It dripped down my skin and I could feel it puddling inside the diaper below my butt.  I gave in sooner this time.  I simply stopped fighting it.  It was going to happen anyway.  In moments I was soaked.

Yeah, there was no doubt at all, it was a horrible feeling.  Not to mention a horrible experience.  And what could I do about it?  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  They had gone out of their way to make sure I couldn’t do anything.

I wanted to turn over onto my side or my stomach, but I was afraid of what would happen with all that pee inside my diaper.  So I did my best to just lay there on my back for as long as possible.  Eventually, I realized that the diaper had absorbed most of the wetness and as far as I could tell, there was no longer a puddle underneath me inside that diaper.  I took the opportunity to turn onto my side, and despite how early it was, try to fall asleep.

Sleep didn’t come easy for me.  Not at that early hour, and especially because of all the angry thoughts raging through my head.  I wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep at all that night, but eventually I must have at least dozed off, because I remember waking up when I realized I had to pee again, just like happened to me every single night.  I started to get up out of bed, but that’s when I felt the diaper I was wearing, and right after that, the mitts attached to my hands.  I realized that getting to the bathroom wasn’t going to happen.

Like it or not, I was stuck struggling in my bed to not wet myself again.  I didn’t struggle nearly as long this time, and soon I was lying on my back with a puddle of pee under my ass, just like it happened earlier.  This time, it took a lot longer for that puddle of pee to go away.  At least, I hoped it had gone away.  I tried to go back to sleep.

Halfway through the night, after waking up two more times to pee, I realized the tops of my bare legs outside of that diaper were wet.  I was leaking!  If it wasn’t for that big protective cover they had stuck over my sheets, I’d be lying in a very wet bed.  And worse, my bed smelled, because I smelled…of my own damn pee!

Was this one of those situations they were supposed to worry about for me?  Trust me, it didn’t stop me from worrying about a number of problems that might arise from me staying in pee-soaked diapers all night.  Could someone my age really get diaper rash?  I was guessing it was a distinct possibility.  Probably even likely.

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

 

On Sunday morning, I was sitting at the table.  My pacifier was still in my mouth and those darn mitts were still keeping my hands practically useless.  Since Caitlin and Bill had left sometime the night before, Emily had gotten me out of bed that morning.  When she saw the state of my diaper and how much it had leaked, she was completely surprised.  What did she expect?  For once, I felt like I had gotten back at her a little bit.  All she did though was to make a few comments about how wet I was, as if I was a real baby, and then she changed my diaper right there on the bed.  At least I had a dry diaper to start the day with.  The question now was, how long would it stay that way?

Jared was sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee.  Emily set a bowl of…something in front of me.  The bowl had a teaspoon in it.  She then came around me, grabbed my left hand, and started unfastening that darn mitt that kept me from doing anything with my hand.  She pulled the thing off and I nearly screamed with joy.  I nearly screamed with pain when I tried to unbend my fingers.

“Don’t touch that over glove!” she warned me.  “Eat!”

She had freed my left hand.  My non-dominant hand.  Still, it was better than her feeding me.  While the others enjoyed cereal and coffee, I stuck the spoon into whatever was in my bowl and stuck a bit of it in my mouth.  Huh!  Yogurt.  I wasn’t that fond of yogurt, but I could easily deal with it.  I enjoyed eating for myself, happy for small favors.  Unfortunately, when I finished, Jared got up and stuck that darn mitt back on my hand again, making sure I couldn’t do anything for myself again.

Emily pulled me out of my chair and led me into the living room where she made me sit on the floor in front of the TV.  A minute later, I had cartoons filling the screen in front of me.  She came back and handed me another baby bottle of something to drink.  I was not happy to see baby formula.  Once again, I had to squeeze the bottle with my useless hands to hold it, and drink.  As expected, it filled my mouth with an absolutely awful taste.

As I sat there drinking and fuming angrily, I literally felt like such a child.  What else could I feel like?  Trust me, life wasn’t fun!

I’m not sure if they were trying to talk quietly and weren’t succeeding, or if they simply didn’t care if I heard a bit of their conversation taking place out in the kitchen, but despite the sound from the cartoon playing on the TV set, I did manage to hear some of what Jared and Emily were saying.

“How long do you think he’ll be able to hold out?” Jared asked Emily.  Naturally, I had no idea in the world what they were talking about.

“It’s hard to say,” Emily replied.  “When I dumped the yogurt into his bowl for breakfast, I mixed a stool softener in with it.  Eventually it’s going to work.”

“Nice!” Jared replied softly.  “How soon?”

“No idea.  It could be soon, it could be a while.  But eventually…”

“It’ll happen,” Jared finished.

“Yeah.  That pill will make sure of it.”

I was sorry I had heard that much.  Now I knew what they were referring to.  Emily had doctored my breakfast.  I was guessing that the stool softeners she used were the ones that I had kept with the other medications I had in the house.  I only took one when I absolutely needed it, which wasn’t often.  I knew they worked.  I also knew there was no telling at all how long it would take before they…stimulated my system.  Like Emily had said, it could be soon, or not till later that afternoon.

How long could I hold out without messing my diaper?  Wetting them was bad enough, I wasn’t looking forward to having a mess in them too.  And then of course there was the other question.  How long would they make me stay in the messy thing?  I didn’t want to find out.

When the bottle finally finished, I happily dropped the thing.  My arms were getting tired trying to hold it in place so I could drink it.  Two minutes later though, Emily collected the bottle, but not before shoving that pacifier I hated so much back in my mouth.

Sitting there in front of the cartoons, it wasn’t long before I felt the now familiar urge telling me I was going to have to pee soon.  In such a short time I had become far more aware of that feeling in my body than at any time in the sixty-eight years of my life.  I wasn’t particularly looking forward to sitting there in a wet diaper again, but fighting it wasn’t going to help me much at all.  I had learned that lesson as well too.  I held it for a while, but as soon as it was getting to be too much, I stood up and let loose in my diaper.  The usual feelings of disgust surrounded me, as did the pee inside my diaper.

“Where are you going?” Jared suddenly asked.

“Nowhere,” I told him, trying to speak clearly despite the plug in my mouth.

“Sit down, and stay there,” he told me sternly.

“But…”

“I said sit!” he ordered.

I sat.  I had only wanted to tell him I had just stood up to pee, that’s all.  He didn’t have to get so huffy about it.

Two hours later, I was still sitting there in my wet diaper in front of the cartoons on TV.  I was sick of them, sick of sitting there on the floor, sick of wearing a wet diaper…sick of everything!  I was getting to the point where I was ready to explode, despite any consequences it might bring me.  But of course, that’s when things got worse for me.

I had peed a few hours earlier, now I had to do it again.  I fought with it for a while, knowing I was going to have to give in eventually, but in fighting with it, I suddenly realized I was now fighting with something else as well.  Those darn stool softeners seemed to be taking effect on me already.  Or was it the stool softeners and baby formula both going to work on my system.  I certainly couldn’t rule out what I had been drinking.  Either way, I was now fighting a big problem on both fronts.  I had no choice but to fight harder and longer.  I wonder if that was a mistake.  But not wanting to wet and mess yourself is only human nature, right?  At least, that’s how I saw it.  So I fought on…uselessly of course.

This time, I wound up peeing in my diaper while I was sitting on the floor.  But a moment after relaxing just enough to let the pee out, unfortunately, that was all it took to give the poop in my system a chance to come out as well.  Trust me, I squirmed all around, trying to find a decent position where I could manage to get all the poop, as well as all the pee out of me at the same time.

“Baby,” I heard Emily say from somewhere across the room.  “Are you going poo-poo in your diapers finally?”

Despite that pacifier in my mouth and the chore I was currently still trying to handle, I did my best to give her a nasty look.

“Good boy,” she crooned at me as if I was a real baby.

Trust me, just then I felt like a real baby.  It was…awful!  An experience I wouldn’t want to repeat again, even though I was very much afraid I would be repeating it.  How could I get out of this predicament?  Not to mention, how could I get out of the mess in my diaper?

There was no doubting what I had done now.  The smell was beginning to surround me in a major way.  I stood up carefully, trying to deal with the strange heavy mass I could feel all around my backside.  A feeling I couldn’t stand.  They had made me wet myself like an infant, and now they had made me mess myself like one too.

Yeah, I lost it.  Big time!  I spit the pacifier out of my mouth and yelled, “I hate this!  I hate you.  I hate all of you.  Let me go!  Stop this stupid stuff and get these damn things off my hands!  And for God’s sake, let me get cleaned up!”

“Bad boy!” Emily said sternly as she hurried in my direction.

“I think it’s punishment time!” Jared announced.  Did he sound a bit too enthusiastic about that?

“I think you’re absolutely right!” Emily agreed as she reached me.  “Bad baby!” she yelled.  “Bad!”

Who did she think she was kidding?  Certainly not me.  This was a game to her – obviously!  Except it was a game I knew I wasn’t going to like.

“Down!” she ordered as she pointed to the floor.

“No!” I protested.  “No more of this junk!  I’m done with it!”

I started to head toward my bedroom, but she grabbed my arm and twisted it, pulling it behind my back in a very painful hold.  Did I ever mention how strong she is?  Must be all that exercise she gets as a gym teacher.  But despite my efforts, I was soon forced down to my knees…in pain.  She kept me there like that until Jared had run upstairs, then finally came down again, his hand full of…stuff.

“I’ve got him,” he told Emily as he took the arm she was painfully holding.

“No!” I protested uselessly again.  I don’t know why I bothered even trying to protest.

He twisted that arm around and brought it down behind my back, pushing me flat to the floor on my stomach.  He grabbed my other arm and pulled that behind my back as well.  I felt him wrapping something around my wrists, and in seconds my hands were tied behind me, making them even more useless than they had been due to the mitts.  I kept squirming around, kicking and trying to get free.  Before I knew it, he was grabbing my ankles and tying them together too.  I wasn’t getting up from my position on the floor anytime soon.

Through it all, I kept protesting and squirming, wanting to get free.  Through it all, they kept ignoring my protests.  And then I felt him grabbing my head and pulling it backwards.  Emily knelt down in front of me, grabbed my chin to open my mouth, and shoved that same darn overly large penis shaped object in my mouth, completely shutting me up.  She buckled the thing behind my head, making sure it wasn’t coming out anytime soon.  I started shaking my head, trying to dislodge the thing, but as I already knew it was useless to even try.

“I think baby need an object lesson,” Jared said sternly.

Not knowing what to think, other than that I was in big trouble, I felt him grab me under my armpits and start dragging me over towards the wall.  He pulled me up until I was on my knees, then he shoved me a bit closer to the wall.  He leaned the entire upper part of my body forward until that gag in my mouth was all the way against the wall .  “Stay!” he ordered.

Stay?  He had to be kidding.  But I soon discovered that in the position he had put me in, doing anything but staying there like that would be very difficult.  I was on my knees with my body leaning forward against the wall.  I didn’t have the strength to pull myself upright from there, especially not with my hands tied behind my back.  And worse, I think the pressure of resting against the wall like that was pushing that darn gag even deeper into my mouth.

You want to know the truth?  I was frightened!  And then Emily had to go and make everything so much worse.

“Just for that,” she said.  “You can stay in that wet messy diaper for an extra two hours before we change you.”

Extra?  How long had she been planning on keeping me in it before?

I wanted to squirm around.  I wanted out of that position, but Emily and Jared were watching over me too closely, not to mention, moving from that painful position would have been difficult for me to begin with.  It wasn’t long before my body began aching and hurting.  I tried to tell them how much I was hurting, but with that big gag filling my mouth, I couldn’t.  It got so bad that eventually I felt tears forming in my eyes, and a little while later, I was actually crying – for real!

“I think he’s had enough now,” Emily decided.

“Are you kidding?” Jared asked.  “It’s only been a few minutes!”

“Jared.  Enough!” Emily insisted.

“Shit!” Jared cursed.  “You deal with him.  I’m going back upstairs.  He stinks to high heaven!  And don’t even think of asking me to change him.  That’s your job.”

“It’s what?” Emily shouted.  But he was walking away.

Emily pulled me away from the wall, then gently eased me down onto my side.  She pulled me over in front of the TV again and stood up.  “You can stay there like that for a while.  He’s right.  You stink!  And you’ve earned yourself an extra two hours in those diapers before I change you.”  With that, she walked away.

I stank?  Surprise!  What did she expect?  She had only herself to blame for that.  I squirmed around in my bound-up position, trying to get free, or at least find the most comfortable way to lay there.  On my side seemed to be the easiest for me, so I stayed and listened to the TV while I fumed over my fate…and how much I wanted to murder both Emily and Jared.

Two hours extra.  Extra to what?

 

You Were Wondering

 Hi All!

I’m glad you’re enjoying my latest story.  There’s still a long way to go with it though, so keep reading.

Some of you seem to be very interested in knowing if I’ll finish Under Her Thumb.  Right now, I honestly don’t know if I’ll do anything more with it or not.  I’d like to finish that one and also Mercy Me, I just have no idea if I ever will.  I’m thinking about it though, that’s all I can tell you.

Thanks again,

Karen

My Funny Farm - Chapter 3 – Ambushed – Part 3 of 3

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 3 – Ambushed – Part 3 of 3

 

Enough was enough!  When were they going to let me free?  When were they going to stop their silly games?  I couldn’t wait.  Angrily, I could do nothing but sit and fume, while my mouth tried to chew, or lick, or do anything to dislodge that big thing they had stuck there that I now suspected was probably shaped like a penis.  Whatever they had done to me, I was thoroughly stuck for now.  Come on people, enough was enough.

And then Ashley, my own dear daughter, added insult to injury by bringing a baby bottle full of milk out to my recliner.  She set the bottle on the end table next to me and unfastened the strap holding that big dildo in my mouth.

“Uh!” I grunted, glad to have the big thing gone.  I was about to say something else when she suddenly pushed the back of my recliner down, moving my position until I was almost horizontal.  She quickly grabbed the baby bottle and stuck the nipple in my mouth.  “Drink!” she ordered.

I got one brief taste of what was in that bottle, and I quickly forced my head to the side, removing the nipple in the process.  “What is that?” I asked.  “It’s terrible.”

“Baby formula,” she told me.  “And I’m sure it tastes bad.  But you better get used to it, because you’re going to be drinking a lot of it from now on.”

She shoved the bottle nipple back against my firmly closed lips.  “Take it!” she ordered sternly.

Damn it!  I didn’t want to.  That stuff tasted awful!  But after a moment of struggling vainly with her, the nipple was between my lips.

“You should have no trouble holding that bottle there with those things on your hands.  Now take it!”

Like it or not, my hands went to each side of the bottle and pressed against it.  Holding the thing as well as I could.

“Now start drinking,” she said again.  “And don’t you dare stop until it’s empty, or I’ll sit here and feed you not only this one bottle, but another one too.  So if you only want just one right now, then get busy and drink.  Otherwise, I’ll make good and sure you get to enjoy two.”

She stood there and watched until I figured out that the stuff tasted bad enough that drinking only one bottle of it was preferable to having to get through two of them.  With those stupid things on my hands, I barely managed to hold onto the bottle well enough to keep it in my mouth.  I had done a lot of nipple sucking lately, so the bottle didn’t give me much of a problem…if you didn’t count the taste, or having to drink from it at all.  Ashley finally nodded and walked away, leaving me like that.

When I finally finished the bottle, I threw the thing angrily to the floor.  After drinking that, my mouth tasted awful.  I wanted a drink of something else to clear it out, but I was afraid they might only give it to me in another baby bottle, and what they gave me might be more of that lousy formula.  How did real babies stand the stuff?  Yuck!

Nobody was around me just then, and for once I didn’t even have a pacifier in my mouth.  As far as I could see, I had a darn good excuse to not go find one those pacifiers and put it where they all thought they belonged.  Deciding to not say anything about it and hope for the best, I sat there, still laid back in my chair, and fumed angrily.  As far as I could see, sitting and fuming over my situation was about all I could do.  In fact, with my hands bound the way they were, and the way I was dressed, I couldn’t think of anything I could do…period!  I was practically helpless.  I could just kill them all.

My thoughts were quickly interrupted when Emily came up behind me, leaned over the back of my chair, and stuck something against my lips.  Before I knew it, I had a pacifier in my mouth again.  Ugh!  But I knew it was inevitable.

Emily left me alone to just lie back in my chair.  I was angry at all of them.  I wanted to kill all of them, maybe more than I wanted to kill myself.  As far as I could see, I now had more reason than ever to commit suicide.  In fact, it seemed like the absolute best course of action for me.  Killing myself was the only thing I could think about as I laid there.  And after what they had done to me, killing myself would not only solve my problem, it would serve them all right!  Not to mention, it would hopefully make them all very sorry for the way they were treating me.

The only problem was, the way they were treating me would make actually finding a way to kill myself more difficult than ever, and suicide is never easy to begin with.  I could only lay there and fume about everything…in my entire life.

It was only a short while later when I noticed it.  The one thing that hadn’t even crossed my mind yet, since I had been so focused on my anger over everyone else.  It was the first notice my body was giving me that I would need to pee soon.  Damn it all!  Something told me that bottle they had made me drink hadn’t helped this situation at all.  What was I supposed to do about it?  Yeah, I already knew what they wanted me to do, they had explained that much to me pretty quickly.  But that didn’t mean that I wanted to do that.  It didn’t mean I was going to lie there and just wet myself.  No way!  Forget it!

I knew I had a while yet before I really had to worry about it, so I used that time to try to figure out what I could do, other than soak myself like an infant.  I desperately rubbed those thick mitts on my hands against the front of my diaper, trying to dislodge the tapes.  Didn’t work.  I tried using those mitts to push the diaper down over my hips to get it off.  Didn’t work either.  I was getting very frustrated.  Worse, the more I thought about having to pee, the more I felt the urgency to pee.  But I refused to sit there and wet myself like an imbecile!

I finally got out of my chair and went to the kitchen where the ladies were still cleaning up and talking.

“Hi Baby,” Caitlin greeted me.  “How’s it going?”

How’s it going?  She had to be kidding!  I wanted to take the plug out of my mouth, and I started to try and grab it with my hands, but that didn’t last long.  With the damn thing still in my mouth I said, “I need to pee, and it’s getting pretty bad.  I need out of this stupid diaper.”  It’s very hard to talk clearly with a pacifier in your mouth, especially when you’re angry.

It was Ashley though that answered me.  “If your diaper is wet, that’s not your concern,” she said.  “If your diaper is messy, that’s not your concern.  That’s our concern.  You don’t need to worry about those things anymore.”

“I am not going to wet myself!”

“Fine, then don’t.  But I have no doubt that eventually something is going to happen inside that diaper.  And eventually, something else is going to happen there too.  I suggest you start getting used to it.  You can’t avoid it.”

“No!”

She chuckled.  “Go find something to occupy yourself with.  If you want, I’ll find some cartoons on TV for you.  But get out of here, we’re busy.”

“No!” I screamed despite the pacifier in my mouth.  “Get this damn thing off of me!”

Ashley chuckled again, reached out, and bopped me on the nose.  “You’re so cute when you’re angry.  Come on, I’ll put the TV on for you.”

I wasn’t the least bit interested in watching TV.  I was interested in getting that diaper off so I could use the toilet.  Of course, I was also interested in getting those damn things off my hands so I could use them again too.  In fact, if I could get my hands free, I’d be able to do practically anything again.  Despite myself, I followed Ashley out to the living room.

She pointed at the floor in front of the TV.  “Sit!” she said firmly.

“It isn’t TV that I want,” I told her, despite that damn pacifier distorting my words.

“I don’t care,” she told me.  “You’re not getting out of that diaper…or any other diaper.  Get used to it.  And get used to the fact that you’re going to be peeing and pooping in them…a lot!  Get used to how it’s going to feel.  And I suggest you start getting used to it all pretty fast, because nothing about it is going to change.  You asked for it, and now you’re stuck with it.”

“I didn’t ask for this!” I argued.

“Didn’t you?  It sure seemed like it to me,” she countered.  “Not to mention, treating you like this will make it easier for all of us to make sure you don’t go trying to kill yourself again…which I might point out you still keep insisting you want to do.  And we’re not going to let you.  Now park your backside on the floor and I’ll put some cartoons on for you.”

Ugh!  I was so angry.  Instead of the floor, I headed for my recliner.

“No!  Not there,” I heard her order.  I turned around.  She pointed at the floor.  “Here!  On the floor.  “You’re a baby now, get used to it.  Babies are better off on the floor.  Especially wet babies, like you’re going to be very soon.  The last thing we need is pee soaking all the furniture if that diaper leaks.  Other people have to sit in those chairs.  Your place is on the floor now…where you belong.  Now park it!”

I wanted to hit her, but I had no doubt it would do me no good, not to mention Jared and Emily would probably find some way to make my life even more miserable.  Besides, half the women in the house were watching what was going on closely.  I had no doubt they’d all side with Ashley in a heartbeat.  I glared angrily at Ash for a moment, walked a step closer to where she had pointed, and sat.  On the floor.  Where I didn’t belong!

“Good,” she said before grabbing the remote and turning the TV on.  It took her a minute to find some cartoons that seemed childish enough for her, then she left me with one final command.  “Stay there!”

Who did she think she was, ordering me around like that?  Who did she think she was to treat me like this?  If I could figure out a way around it, I’d throw her out of here immediately.  If I could figure out a way to finally kill myself, I wouldn’t have to worry about any of it, including having to pee, which now that I was sitting and compressing my bladder, was starting to become an even bigger issue.

There were colorful shapes moving around on the TV screen and childish music and dialog coming from the TV speakers, but I ignored all of it.  My only thoughts were centered around trying to get those damn things off my hands, and trying to get out of that damn diaper, and anything else I could possibly do to accomplish both.  And overriding it all was the constant battle of knowing that if I didn’t figure it out soon, I was going to be wetting myself.  Something I’m pretty sure I hadn’t done since I was two or three years old.  And I was sixty-eight!

I desperately rubbed at each of those mitts with the other mitt, which still did nothing.  I started using those mitts to press hard against the front of my diaper, hoping the pressure would help keep me from wetting myself.  I squirmed around and desperately did anything I possibly could to keep from doing the one thing I didn’t want to do.  But like it or not, none of it worked.

As I squirmed and fussed and tried as hard as I could, the inevitable began to happen.  Like it or not, sitting right there on the floor, I felt myself losing the battle.  It began a little at a time, pee leaking out of me.  Such a strange feeling.  I could feel a little of it coming out.  I could feel the wetness of it as it washed itself around my genitals, tickling my skin as it slowly ran downward toward my padded bottom, which as I continued to lose the battle, began to feel wetter and wetter.  What an awful feeling.  And then I seemed to lose the rest of it all at once and I realized I was now peeing nonstop into my already somewhat wet diaper.  The flood of pee soaked my skin as it ran all around me and down, flooding the bottom of my diaper that I was sitting on.  It was an absolutely miserable feeling!

As they had said would happen, I had wet myself like an infant.  Like a baby.  Despite all my efforts to stop it.  I could just kill them all.  Although the only one I really wanted to kill, was me.

I sat there like that for a few minutes, doing my best to recover after all my failed efforts.  The wetness inside my diaper was obvious, but no longer as bad as it had been.  I was guessing the diaper was absorbing most of that awful pee in there now.  I still felt wet, just not dripping wet.  None the less, it still felt…miserable.  Especially to sit in.

Feeling defeated, I climbed to my feet and made my way into the kitchen.

“You’re supposed to be watching TV!” Ashley said the moment she spotted me.

“I’ve got a problem,” I tried to say as clearly as I could around that damn pacifier.

“What?” she asked, her eyes already going to my diaper.  Was she trying to suppress a laugh?

How could I say it?  I didn’t want to say it, but I had no choice but to force myself.  “I’m wet!” I announced angrily.

“Yes,” she replied.  “I can see that.  Go back and watch TV and enjoy it.  We’re still busy.”

“But I’m wet!” I argued.

“Baby,” she said, trying to sound irritated, despite the fact that I knew she wanted to laugh instead.  “I hope for your sake that you’re not asking to have someone change you.  We told you that’s not allowed.  You don’t worry about if you’re wet or messy.  That’s for us to worry about, not you.  You don’t worry about things like if you need your diaper changed or not.  That’s our job, not yours.  So don’t even think about asking anyone to change you.  Now get back in there and watch TV, or I’ll tell Jared that you’ve been bad, and we’ll see what kind of punishment he decides to give you.  And I have no doubt that it will be something painful.”

The message was clear, they weren’t going to let me out of my now soaked diaper.  I just hope they wouldn’t leave me in it too long.  Was it possible for someone my age to get diaper rash?  I had no doubt it was something I should be concerned about.  But how about them?  Were they concerned about things like that?  I could only hope.  Like it or not, I turned and headed back to the living room.

“And sit on the floor!” Ashly reminded me.

Why did they all have to be so cruel?  Just because I was tired of living without my wife?  Just because I wanted to die so I could be with her again?  Just so I could die so I wouldn’t feel so horribly depressed anymore?  They were all making my life far more miserable than it had been.  And in the process, they were making it even more difficult for me to do the one thing I now wanted to do more than ever.  Die!

How was I going to handle this situation?  I didn’t have a clue.  The colorful cartoons were still moving around on the TV screen.  The inane dialog was still coming from the TV speakers.  Like it or not, I sat my soggy bottom down on the floor in front of the TV set.  With little else to look at or do, I watched.  Despite myself, those cartoon characters held some of my interest, but most of my mind was still occupied with my situation, and how I could possibly get out of it.  I still didn’t have a clue.

Like it or not, I watched TV for a while, until all of a sudden, all the men came back in through the door.  All of them looked at me.  None of them spoke to me.

“Ready for dessert?” I heard Caitlin ask them.

They all headed for the kitchen, leaving me alone with the cartoons.  Bill came back and sat on the couch.  He had a small dessert plate with a slice of one of the pies on it.  Jared came back and headed straight for the remote control to the TV.  The cartoons disappeared and the football pregame show filled the screen instead.  A vast improvement I was happy about.  I just wasn’t happy about having to sit there, dressed as a baby, in front of all of them.  Jared then added insult to injury by sitting down in my recliner.  I could have clobbered him.

One by one, the men started coming back into the living room.  And then Emily was there in front of me, reaching down and pulling up on my arm.  “Come on baby,” she said.  “Let’s get you some yummy pie.”

That was the first good thing I had heard since all this started.  I just wasn’t sure how good it was.  I was looking forward to that pie, more so because of how bad my mouth still tasted after drinking that bottle of baby formula.

Holding my hand, Emily led me to the kitchen table, where she sat me down in one of the chairs.  It was Caitlin though who set my piece of pie down in front of me.  I stared at it.  “What’s this?” I asked around my stupid pacifier.  What I saw was a small plate full of mashed up…something.

Caitlin though seemed to ignore what I said.  Instead, she reached for the plug in my mouth and finally removed it, before grabbing a napkin and wiping all the slobber from my chin.  Then she left me like that.  How was I supposed to eat?  My hands were useless.

One by one, the ladies began sitting down at the table.  Caitlin came back and sat right next to me with her own piece of pie.  A beautifully cut, beautiful looking piece of pie.  Not like what was on my plate at all.  As the women talked, mostly ignoring me, I could do nothing but watch as they all began eating.  And then Caitlin took her fork and used it to grab some of the mashed-up mess on my plate, and then she held it up near my mouth.

“Choo-choo,” she said.  “Open wide for the train.”

She had to be kidding!  But I dutifully opened my mouth, and she shoved the messy pie into it, before going back to her own pie and the conversation.  At least the pie in my mouth tasted good.  Apple, I noticed.  One of my favorites.  Although any flavored pie would taste much better than that lousy baby formula.  Little by little, I got fed by her, while they all continued to eat and talk.  I could hear the football game starting on TV out in the living room.  In some ways I would rather be out there with the guys.  In truth though, I didn’t want to be either out there or here in the kitchen.  I wanted to go somewhere I could be by myself for a while.  But of course, being by myself had been a rare luxury for some time now, and I was guessing that luxury was going to become even more of a luxury for me if they were going to insist on keeping me in this state.

Eventually, Ashley and Emily left the table while the rest of the women continued to talk, and Caitlin finished feeding me my pie.  It was a few minutes before the two women came back.  “All done?” Ashley asked Caitlin.

“Just now,” Caitlin confirmed as she grabbed a towel and began wiping my mouth clean for me.  But then of course, she picked up that stupid pacifier and stuck it back where I didn’t want it.

Emily stood right next to me and grabbed my hand.  “Come on baby,” she said.

Now what?  Was she finally going to get me out of that wet diaper?  It was all I could think of.  With her holding my hand, she and Ashley led me into my bedroom.  I immediately noticed that the covers had been pulled back and someone had stuck some kind of protective pad on top of the exposed sheets.

“Okay, nap time baby,” Emily announced.

I was flabbergasted.  Nap time?  I was about to argue, but both Emily and Ashley pushed me backwards onto my king-sized bed, right on top of that protective pad.  Then Emily climbed on the bed with me and sat right on top of my body, holding me down.  Ashley grabbed one of my useless hands and slipped something over that hand and onto my wrist, then she pulled it tight.  I realized she had attached a rope to that arm.  Rope that was tied to the headboard.

“That should keep you there till you finish your nap,” Ashley told me.  Luckily, Emily got off me with one of her signature chuckles.

And then I saw Caitlin come into the room…with a baby bottle in her hands.  “Here you go,” she said as she handed the bottle to Emily.  Emily immediately pulled my pacifier out, then held the bottle nipple to my mouth.

“You know the drill,” Ashley said sternly.  “Hold that bottle and drink it.  All of it!”

The rope attached to my arm easily gave me enough freedom to do that much.  It just wouldn’t let me leave the bed to go far enough to matter.

The contents of the bottle surprised me.  I had already seen that it didn’t look like more baby formula.  As I drank it, it took me a moment to figure out what it was.  Apple juice.  I hadn’t had any in…many years.  Despite drinking it from a baby bottle, and despite the fact that I didn’t want anything to drink in the first place, it actually tasted pretty good.  Not at good as that piece of mashed-up apple pie I had just finished, but still pretty good.

The women stayed there until they made sure I was doing as they wanted.  Ashley leaned over me and hugged me while I was drinking.  “Enjoy your nap,” she said.  “I’ll see you in a few days.  Love you baby.”  And then she walked out, followed by Caitlin and Emily, who turned off the light, leaving me in semi-darkness.

I didn’t want a nap.  I didn’t want to be stuck in a wet diaper.  I didn’t want to  wear diapers period.  I didn’t want to have to suck on pacifiers or anything else.  I didn’t want any of it.

The only thing I wanted, was to die.  Was that too much to ask for?

 

My Funny Farm - Chapter 3 – Ambushed – Part 2 of 3

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 3 – Ambushed – Part 2 of 3

 

The air was cool early Saturday morning as I stepped outside before breakfast to survey my kingdom.  The yard looked great.  My barbecue grill was clean and ready to be put to use.  Everything on my patio was clean and ready to enjoy.  Once the nippy September air warmed up a bit, it was going to be a spectacular day.

As I chewed absently on the pacifier nipple in my mouth, I thought about past barbecues I had shared with my son James.  Today, I had no doubt that this was going to be another one to remember.  What I didn’t know though, was that it was going to be the second most miserable day of my life.  The most miserable day of course, was the day that Rachel had died.  But to be fair, this day started out really, really nice!

James and Jennifer showed up early with bags of steaks to put on the grill.  Ashley and Chris showed up shortly after and they both carried in a number of grocery bags.  Emily and Ash immediately began working in the kitchen while James, Chris, and I moved out to the patio where the barbecue was.  I remember laughing with both of them over the fact that at least Emily didn’t wear her red leather outfit that day.

Caitlin and Bill showed up with some drinks, including some beer that Bill carried out to the patio for us.  I got a very nice hug from Caitlin before the two of them spent a little while moving boxes of belongings from their car into one of the open bedrooms upstairs.  I picked up on the fact that they would be arriving permanently next week.

James’ oldest child, Mike, arrived with his wife Nichole.  I got a nice hug from her too while the steaks were making the entire yard smell great.

Through it all, I never had the slightest clue that they were all planning on ambushing me.  In fact, keeping my pacifier in my mouth all the time didn’t even cross my mind.  Maybe I was just getting used to it being there and either talking with it in, or pulling it briefly out to say something.  Either way, nobody mentioned my pacifier at all, and I didn’t even realize it…till later.

The steaks were great, and so was all the rest of the food that the ladies prepared.  It was truly a nice family feast.  And let me tell you, I didn’t miss seeing the three freshly baked pies for dessert still sitting untouched on the kitchen counter for later.  I was looking forward to a piece of one of them too.  What I didn’t know was that I should have ignored my overstuffed stomach, and had a piece of pie right after I had eaten everything else.

It happened right as we were all finished eating and were starting to get up from the table.  The attack began with my own son James as he said, “Dad, come into the living room for a few minutes.  We need to talk.”

That concerned me, but after such a nice day and meal, and everybody being so nice, I didn’t think that much of it.  I headed for my recliner while James and a few others in the family came in and sat in different places around the room.  Everyone being there like that started to worry me and make me nervous.  I immediately pulled the plug from my mouth.  “What’s up?”

James leaned forward from his seat on the couch…as close a seat as he could get to me.  “Dad,” he said.  “We need to talk.”

“About what?” I asked suspiciously.

“We’ve all been pretty much burning up the phone lines all week,” he told me.  “Discussing what to do about you.”

“Huh!” I grunted.  “Easy.  Leave me alone.  Go home and leave me be!”

“No Dad,” James said softly.  “Not gonna happen, and you know it.”

“Unfortunately, I’m getting that picture.  So what’s up?”

He seemed to be having trouble saying whatever it was he was planning on.  Finally, he said, “I guess it’s the accountant in me, but let me itemize some of this for you.”

“Itemize?  Itemize what?”

“First of all,” he said.  “You want to be alone, where more than likely you’re going to try to commit suicide again.”

I couldn’t deny that, but I said.  “Yes, I do want to be alone.  You’re all hounding me too much.  Way too much!”

He ignored my comment and continued.  “Secondly.  Because you continually say you still want to kill yourself, we’re to the point now where we’ll do anything at all to keep you from doing that.”

“It’s my life,” I replied.  “I should have some say in the matter.”

“No.  You don’t!” he told me.  “Thirdly.  You said you want to get rid of all your responsibilities.  Turn them over to everyone else so you don’t have to worry about pretty much anything at all.”

I grunted a bit of a laugh.  “A pipe dream!  And you know it.”

“The fourth thing,” he said.  “You said you’d like to be taken care of completely.  Pretty much in every way.”

“I said that in relation to the responsibilities,” I told him.  “They’re practically one and the same.”

“Maybe,” he agreed.  But the point is, it’s what you’d like.”

“Maybe,” I replied.  “But it’s still nothing but an unrealistic pipe dream.  What of it?”

“What of it?” he said.  “The doctor you’ve been seeing thinks something needs to be done to change your life around.  Something different than what you’re used to every day.”

“Okay,” I replied.  “Maybe.  But I’m not interested in playing golf.”

“No Dad.  That’s not what we had I mind.”

“James.  Out with it.  What are you trying to tell me?”

“Dad.  Emily told us about your conversation with the doctor about how being old is like being a baby?”

“So what?  It’s common knowledge.  Once we get old enough, we’ve all got problems.  You will too someday.”

He ignored what I had just said.  “Well Dad, in light of the things you’ve said that you really want, several times now, we’ve all discussed it, and we’ve decided to see if we can give you the life you really want.”

“The life I want?  The life I want is no life!  I want to be dead!  I want to join your mother in heaven.  To be with her again.  That’s what I want.  But you won’t let me.  None of you will let me.  You’re all…in my way!”

“And we’re going to stay in your way,” he insisted firmly.  “Dad, because of the things you said multiple times now that you want…”

“Like to be dead!” I reminded him.

“No!  Not that one.”

“That’s the only one I’m interested in,” I replied.

He ignored me.  “Because of the things you said you want,” he said again.  “We’ve all discussed it, and we all agreed that from now on, each of us is going to do our best to no longer think of you as the head of this family.”

“Huh!” I grunted.  “You mean I’ve been demoted?  I never asked for the position to begin with.  It’s all yours if you want it.  Besides, you’re the big corporate executive now.”

“Dad, just shut up and listen for a minute,” he said sternly.

I glared angrily at him, but I stuck the pacifier back in my mouth to shut myself up.

“From now on,” James continued.  “We’re all going to do our best to think of you, not as a grown man, but as a baby.”

I was shocked, and surprised.  “A what?” I said without removing the pacifier.

“A baby!  And we’re going to do our best to treat you like a baby in every way that we can think of.”

“You’re what?  What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked suspiciously.

He shrugged.  “To be honest, we’re just going to have to see what that entails.  We can’t think of everything beforehand.  I’m sure a lot of this is just going to have to develop with time.”

“Ha!” I said to all of them as I looked around the room.  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Dad,” Ashley said.  “With what you’ve done to us, trying to kill yourself and scaring us all to death, we think you deserve it.  Especially since you continually keep saying you want to die.”

“Well I do!  It’s my life!”

“Not any more,” James told me.

“It’s what?  What’s that mean?”

“It means that as of right now, you’re not responsible for anything to do with your life.  We are.  Since I’ve already got all your passwords and financial information, I’ll be taking care of all that for you, and we’re going to make sure that you understand that you’re no longer in charge of yourself.”

I shook my head.  “What’s that mean?  I don’t understand any of this.”

He nodded.  “And maybe that’s a good thing, since babies don’t understand things like that.  Dad, you no longer have to understand any of it.  You no longer have to understand anything at all.”

“Say what?”

He shook his head.  “Ash.  You said you thought you should take care of this first.  Maybe we should just get on with it.”

“Yeah,” Ashley agreed.  “I think you’re right.  It’s time he got a tiny glimpse of his new life.”

“New life?” I asked as I looked around.  “What are you doing?”

“Jared,” Ashley said.  “Emily.  You said you’d handle him.”

“Handle….” I started to say, before I found Jared’s big body standing in front of me.  He grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly out of my recliner and pushed me face down to the floor.  “Hey!” I argued.  “Stop.  What are you doing?”

“Lay down on the floor,” he ordered in a stern voice that was unlike anything I had ever heard him say before.

Laying down on the floor was no problem since he had already pushed me down to the floor, where Emily grabbed both of my arms and pulled them over my head, while Jared grabbed both of my legs and pulled them out straight.

“Stop!” I screamed.

“Ready?” I heard Emily say.

I felt my body being picked up slightly by my stretched arms and legs, then turned over so I was on my back.  “Stop it!” I tried again.

Emily and Jared kept me stretched out on the floor like that while Caitlin moved in and began unfastening my pants.  While she did that, Nichole unbuttoned my shirt.

“What are you doing?” I argued.  “Stop it!”  Sooner than I could believe, I was stripped one hundred percent naked…in front of the entire family.  “What are you doing?”

But that was the point where Ashley showed up on the floor with me.  “Relax Dad.  This is going to happen whether you like it or not.  And it’s something you’re going to have to get very used to, because it’s going to be happening to you a lot…from now on.”

Naked, I was still struggling to get free, but of course, Emily and Jared were a lot stronger than I was.  Not to mention everyone else hovering so close around me.

And then I was shocked again when I felt Ashley squirt something cold all around my genitals, and then start rubbing and spreading it all around, including having them lift my legs so she could spread it over my backside as well.  Whatever she had spread over me, was soon covered with something else…baby powder.  All that got put on me, before the final insult.  My legs were lifted, and she stuffed a disposable diaper under my butt, and then pulled it up firmly between my legs and fastened the thing tightly around my waist.  I felt her hands working with it all around my legs and waist, trying to make her diapering job neater.

When she was done, she leaned over me.  “Dad,” she said.  “You’re wearing a diaper now.  And you’re going to continue to wear them from now on.  All the time!  Whether you like it or not.  You’re wearing that diaper like a baby, and we intend on you using them like a baby for everything.  That means that from now on, you pee in your diapers, and you poop in your diapers.  Don’t even think about trying to use a toilet ever again, because it’s not going to happen.  We’re all considering you to be a baby now, and we intend on treating you like a baby, and making you behave like a baby.  Get used to it!”

In my outraged state, I saw Emily lean over top of her.  “And don’t even think about asking to have your diapers changed,” she added.  “Babies don’t get to ask if their diapers need changing.  That’s another responsibility you won’t have to worry about.  Whether you get changed or not will be up to us.  And just so you know, if you don’t behave the way we want, you’ll be left a lot longer in your dirty diapers.  And I have no doubt that you’re going to get plenty of chances to see what that problem is like in the days ahead.”

“Bill,” Emily said.  “You got the mitts?  I think we better take care of that now.”

“Right here,” Bill replied.  “Caitlin, catch.”

I saw him throw two black somethings to Caitlin who was now kneeling down next to Emily who was still holding my arms stretched over my head.  I couldn’t see what was happening over my head, but I felt somebody bend my fingers over and one of my hands was roughly shoved into one of those black things.  Whatever it was, it seemed to be heavily padded and was so tight and small inside I couldn’t even stretch my fingers out.  I felt it being fastened tightly around my wrist, then they put the other one on my other hand.

“Okay, sit him up,” Ashley told them.

“They finally let go of my arms and legs, and someone pushed me to a sitting position.  Angry and outraged beyond belief, my hand went immediately to the pacifier still between my lips to remove it, only to discover that whatever they had encased my hands in wouldn’t let me grab the thing.   In fact, I couldn’t grab anything anymore.  My hands had been rendered useless.  I pawed desperately at the diaper tapes to pull them open, and I couldn’t grab them either.

I spit that damn pacifier out of my mouth.  “Stop this!” I yelled.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Giving you everything you want,” Emily told me.

“By turning you into a baby,” Ashley finished.  “Get used to it Dad.  This is going to be your new life…from now on.  Now stick that pacifier back in your mouth and leave it there.”

“No!” I yelled.  “No more!  Let me go.  Get these damn things off me.”

“Nope,” James replied.  “The diapers are permanent now.  And those mitts on your hands will keep you from trying to get them off.”

Caitlin leaned down and shoved my pacifier back in my mouth.  I immediately spit it out again.  “No!” I argued again.  “No more.  Stop this.  Let me go!”

“You keep that pacifier in your mouth!” Caitlin yelled sternly.

“Here!” I heard Jared say as he handed something to Caitlin.  “Try this one.  Em and I figured he would be like this.  This should shut him up for a while.  Let him see what he gets when he needs to be punished.”

I heard Caitlin giggle as she examined whatever it was.  I didn’t want to find out.  Too soon though, she turned around and I got a very brief glimpse of something frightening.  Something with straps attached.  Caitlin grabbed my jaw and squeezed, forcing me to open my mouth.  She shoved something big and long inside it, nearly choking me with it.  Then I felt someone grabbing the straps and pulling them tightly behind my head, bucking them in place.  My mouth was stuffed by something big and fat.  It was so big, I was close to choking to death on the thing, and just swallowing was nearly impossible since my tongue was trapped underneath it.  No matter how I tried, I couldn’t get it out of my mouth.  I shook my head desperately trying to dislodge it, but of course, strapped in place, it wasn’t going anywhere.  My padded hands went to the back of my head to try desperately to get it off, but they did nothing at all.  My hands were simply useless for doing anything now.

I sat there and looked around at all of them, tears starting to form in my eyes.  What had they done to me?  What was I going to do?

“I think he needs just one more thing for now,” Ashley decided.  I noticed she had a cloth something in her hands as she walked around behind me.  I soon felt her tying that something around my neck.  It wasn’t until she backed away that I realized what it was.  A bib.  A baby bib.  I was sitting there in a diaper, sucking on something I didn’t want to identify, even though I suspected what it might be, and I was wearing a baby bib.  What more could they do to me?

And then they all started to get up and move around.  The ladies headed for the kitchen and dining room to begin cleaning up, and the guys headed outside to take care of cleaning the grill.  I was soon left alone on the floor.  Helpless.  It was a while before I climbed to my feet.  I didn’t want to go into the kitchen with the ladies.  I didn’t want to go outside with the guys.  I headed toward my bedroom, only to discover that the door was closed.  I tried opening it with my padded hands, but I couldn’t turn the doorknob.  In defeat, I headed back to my recliner where I sat, brooding over my situation.

 

My Funny Farm - Chapter 3 – Ambushed – Part 1 of 3

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 3 – Ambushed – Part 1 of 3

 

I had just sat back in my recliner and closed my eyes, intending on taking a much needed nap, when I heard footsteps clomping my way.

“Gramps!  Gramps!”

I opened my eyes and quickly saw an overly excited Emily come into view right in front of me.  But the problem wasn’t Emily…exactly.  It was what she was wearing.  She stretched her arms out to the side and said, “What do you think?”

I was speechless.  She was a vision in red.  No, make that a nightmare in red.  She was dressed from head to foot in some kind of skintight red leather outfit, that had more straps going around it than…I don’t know what.  And the suit even included a matching red leather facemask.

“Isn’t it fabulous?”

Not the word I would have used.  “I’m speechless,” I finally admitted.

“It’s so much fun!” she exclaimed happily, before running off and heading back upstairs.

After that, I tried to close my eyes, but it wasn’t working.  All I could see was the nightmare in red standing in front of me.  I got up from my chair.  I was going to have to find something better to do with myself for a while.  I might be ready for the funny farm, but Emily was already a patient there.  And she was supposed to be watching over me?  Who was watching her?

That evening, the doorbell rang, and Caitlin and her husband Bill walked in.

“Hi Gramps,” Caitlin greeted me.  I got a really nice warm hug from her.  Such a pleasant experience, trust me!

“What’s up?” I asked.

“We’re just going to take a look at which bedroom we’re going to use when we move in,” she told me.  And then we have to decide if we’re going to keep any of the furniture we have now.”

“Keep it?” I asked.  “Why not?”

“If we move in here, we don’t need it.  Any of it.  Not to mention, it’s all old hand-me-down stuff, and neither of us likes any of it.”

“But if we do keep it,” Bill added.  “What are we going to do with it?”

“Yeah,” I said.  “I can see your problem.”  The first thought about it that came to my mind was putting it in my big garage workshop out back, but I purposely didn’t mention that.  I didn’t want any more junk out there than I already had.

They all moved off and upstairs.  A few minutes later, I heard Emmy and Caitlin laughing over something, and I had no doubt that Emmy was showing off her new red leather outfit.  But what surprised me was when they came downstairs a little while later, and Caitlin was wearing it instead, while Emily was wearing a similar outfit in black.

Jared and Bill came downstairs together, and fortunately neither of them was dressed…uh…strangely.  None of that concerned me…much.  What I had to wonder about though, was why they all had to traipse into my bedroom.  I got up from my recliner to find out what they were doing in there, but they all came out again before I got to them.

“I don’t like the color,” Caitlin said as they left my bedroom.  “I think we should paint before we do anything with the bedroom set.”

I went back to my recliner.  They could repaint the walls upstairs all they wanted.  In fact, they probably needed it.

“Oh Gramps!” Caitlin said before they all headed back upstairs.  “Dad wanted me to check with you to see if you had plenty of gas for the barbecue grill.”

“Plenty!” I confirmed.  “The tank is practically new.  Why?”

“Because the whole family is coming here again on Saturday, and Dad said that he’s going to pick up steaks for us all.  I think he’s wanting you and him to work together on cooking them.”

That thought pleased me.  “Sure,” I told her.  “That sounds nice.  I’ll get some potatoes to go with them.”

“Don’t bother,” Caitlin told me.  “I think Aunt Ashley’s already got them.”

“Oh.  Okay.  Still, it sounds nice.”

“Yeah,” she said with a giggle before she turned toward the stairs. 

“Caitlin!” I called after her, stopping not just her but all four of them.

“Yeah Gramps?”

“I don’t understand,” I told her.  “You and Bill have decent jobs.  You’re a nurse like your Aunt Ashley, and he’s an accountant like your father.  You’ve both got decent jobs.  Why can’t you afford your own place?  Why do you feel you have to move in here?”

“Uh…yeah,” Bill replied.  “That’s probably my fault.”

“Your fault?  What did you do?”

“Nothing,” he replied, sounding surprised.

“Gramps,” Caitlin said.  “Bill and I do have decent jobs.  We make more than enough money, but, well, Bill is trying to save it all and not spend it.  And the result is that everything we have is pure junk.  And now he wants to move in here so we can save even more money.  Hopefully, in a few years, we can buy our own house and pay cash for it, so we won’t be paying all that interest money.”

“If we do that,” Bill added.  “We could save a lot more toward not just our retirement, but it would help a lot when we start having kids.”

“What if the kids  come sooner?” I asked.  “It happens you know.”

“Then…moving in here will still be saving us a ton.”

“Not only that,” Emily said happily as she turned toward Caitlin.  “Just think how much fun it’s going to be with you two living here with us.”

I saw both Emily and Caitlin giggle at that, then hug each other affectionately.  The two had always been really close friends, let alone cousins.  As to Caitlin and Bill’s money plans though, I wasn’t about to open my mouth and get in the way of their marriage situation, despite the fact that they were soon going to be moving into my house.

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

 

On Friday morning, Emily had news for me as I sat down to breakfast and removed that damn plug from my mouth so I could eat.

“Uh…Gramps,” she said.  “Mrs. Lowrey is going to be here a bit longer today to watch you.”

That surprised me.  “Why?”

“Because Jared and I have to go shopping after work.  We need groceries again, and not just for everybody coming tomorrow.”

That much was certainly true enough.  The pantry and refrigerator were both starting to look more than a bit bare.  “Why don’t I do the shopping today instead,” I suggested.

“No!” she countered quickly.  “We’ll get it.  Besides, I think we want to look for some other stuff too.”

“What stuff?” I asked.

“Stuff you probably don’t want to know about.”

I immediately remembered that red leather outfit that I had seen both her and Caitlin wearing a few days earlier.  “Uh…yeah.  No problem,” I told her.  Have fun.  Besides, I have plans for today.”

She seemed surprised.  “You do?  What?”

“I’ve got to cut the grass before the family comes tomorrow.”

She nodded.  “Probably a good idea.  I’m sure Jared would do it for you tonight, so you don’t have to, but we’ve got to go shopping.”

“I’ll cut the grass!” I told her in no uncertain terms.

“Sure Gramps.  Go ahead.”

Had I just won that argument?  Impossible!

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---