My Funny Farm - Chapter 7 – Overwhelmed – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 7 – Overwhelmed – Part 1 of 2

 

They waited until Saturday morning to come and get me.  With each day that they left me in that behavioral center I became more convinced that they had chickened out and didn’t want me anymore…despite what I was consenting to have them do to me.  But on Saturday, James and Ashley both came and got me and took me home.  I expected to see a lot of cars in the driveway.  There were some, but not as many as I expected.  I noticed Emily’s, Caitlin’s, and her husband Bill’s cars there.  Nobody else.  Where was Jared?  Was he really gone?  I hoped so.  I didn’t like him.

We entered through the family’s usual entrance…my garage.  I was glad to see my pickup truck inside where it belonged.  I was wishing just then that I could get in it and go for a drive somewhere.  Like maybe into a giant tree.  I was guessing though that leaving just then wasn’t going to happen.

“Gramps!” Caitlin greeted me the moment I got inside.  She came up and gave me a nice hug and kiss.  “Love you, Gramps,” she told me.

“Yeah.  Love you too,” I replied.

“Welcome home,” Emily said next as she too gave me a nice hug and a kiss.  “Gramps, I’m so sorry about how things went…before.”

“Yeah,” I replied.  “Me too.”

Bill was in the kitchen, but he didn’t say a word, he just stood back and out of the way.  Fine with me!

“Emily.  Caitlin,” James said.  “Ash and I need to sit down with him for a serious talk, but before we do, or before any of this goes any further, can you two please get a diaper on him.  Sorry Dad,” he said.  “But we want this to start immediately.  No putting it off.”

I looked at him disappointedly.  “At least I’m home again,” I muttered unhappily.

“Come on baby,” Emily said as she took my hand.  “Let’s get you changed.”

“I don’t even get to use the bathroom one last time?” I asked as she led me by my hand towards my bedroom.

“Sorry,” Emily told me.  “But we’ve got rules to follow now, and no toilets for you is a biggie.”

I wanted to ask if those rules were for them, or me.  I stayed silent instead and let her lead me into my room.  I noticed the blankets on my bed were already pulled down exposing my sheets and there was another of those big pads in place to protect them.

“Here,” Caitlin said.  “Let me get those pants off you.”

“I can do it,” I told her.

“No,” she replied.  “Don’t worry about it.  We’ll handle it for you.”

I got the impression that that’s the way this system was going to go for pretty much everything.  In short order, my pants and underpants were pulled down to my ankles and I stepped out of them.  Except for my shoes and socks, it left me naked from the waist down and exposed right in front of two of my granddaughters.  Neither of them made any mention of the situation.  I was told to lay on the bed.  When I was in place on top of that protection pad, Caitin had me lift my legs so she could shove a diaper under my butt.  Emily moved in after that and began rubbing some kind of baby cream all over my private parts, front and back.  A little sprinkle of baby powder front and back soon followed.  I suddenly smelled a lot more like a baby than I had before.  Caitlin moved back in and pulled the diaper up between my legs, covering up my embarrassing private parts.  The diaper tapes were pulled tight, and that easy and quickly I was firmly fastened into it.

They pulled me off the bed.  I expected them to remove my shirt then and either leave me naked except for the diaper or put a t-shirt on me, but instead, Emily held my pants for me to step into.  She pulled them up and fastened them before buckling my belt.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was dressed normally again, except for the diaper underneath.  Hooray!  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.  I can tell you though that the feel of that diaper under my pants was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever felt.  I was used to having regular underwear under my pants.  Underwear that was nowhere near as thick as that diaper was.  And then I had to wonder, how much worse was it going to get when they made me wet the thing?

“Dad and Aunt Ashley want to talk to you for a while now,” Caitlin told me.

“We don’t know everything they want to talk about,” Emily added, “but we’ve got a basic idea about some of it.”

“They told us that you and them may be busy for a while,” Caitlin said.  “So remember, if you need to go, just go…in your diaper of course.  And don’t bother asking if you can use the bathroom.  That’s off limits for you from now on.  Just do it while you’re talking with them.  Okay?  No need to mention it to anybody.  Just go.  From now on.”

“Oh,” Emily said.  “And like before, don’t bother to tell us if you need a diaper change or not.  That’s our responsibility to figure out, not yours.”  She chuckled.  “Besides, Caitlin needs to get used to checking things like that.”

“Emmy!” Caitlin protested as she slapped playfully at her.

Emily laughed again then turned to me.  “Go find Mom and Uncle James.”

I left the bedroom, trying to get used to the feel of that diaper under my pants.  Yeah, it was going to take some getting used to.  I was actually very grateful to have the pants covering it.  I didn’t find James and Ashley until I got to the kitchen.  James was just pouring himself a mug of coffee and I saw that Ashley was already holding a cup.  “You want to talk again?” I asked, wondering if I dared to pour myself some coffee too.  Coffee would probably make me have to pee sooner though, and I didn’t need that…now.  Not with that diaper under my pants.

“Yeah Dad,” Ashley replied.

“Let’s go to the office,” James suggested.

“This might take a little while,” Ashley said to Emily and Caitlin.  “Will one of you please bring a bottle of juice for him.”

Juice, not coffee.  And I noticed she had said bottle.

I followed them into the room where I kept my desk, my computer, and where I handled all my business.  My home office was one of my favorite places in the house.  I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be seeing much of it anymore.  The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the extra chair now in the room.  I normally had just my desk chair and one other in case I had someone visiting.  James immediately sat in my desk chair.  Ashley and I took the other seats.  I expected one of them to close the office door, but they didn’t.

“What are we talking about now?” I asked.

“Pretty much everything,” Ashley told me.

I wondered what that meant.

“We’ve got a bit of a shopping list of things we decided to buy for your treatment,” James told me.  “Very little of which we’ve actually had time to buy or order yet, but we’ll be taking care of those things as soon as possible.  Like I said, we simply haven’t had time yet.  We’ve been spending most of our time lately planning this.”

“What kind of things are you buying?” I asked.

“Don’t bother asking,” Ashley told me.  “A lot of those decisions haven’t been made yet.  Why don’t we just let it all be a surprise for you.”

Surprise or punishment?  The thought of unknown things simply made me nervous.  Or was that the pills still at work in my head.

“We will tell you though,” James said, “that we’re planning on eventually turning your bedroom into as much of a nursery as we can, just to help with your new position in life.”

New position in life?  Was that how they were planning on looking at this?  “A nursery?” I asked.

“Yes,” Ashley replied.  “Complete with everything you’re going to need.”

“Like what?” I asked.

At that point, Emily arrived and handed me a baby bottle full of…something.  I could tell it wasn’t baby formula, which made me glad.

“Em,” James said.  Will you close the door on your way out please.”

Since both James and Ashley were waiting till Emily had left and the door was closed, I was guessing that they weren’t going to answer my question about what they considered I would need for a…nursery.  Just the thought of it made my stomach lurch.

With the door firmly closed now, we were alone and sequestered.  “Dad,” James began.  “I want you to know right from the start that you don’t need to worry about your money.  Since you gave me all your passwords and account information for safe keeping, I’ll be handling all your financial business for you.”

I had done that in case something happened to me…like dying after I managed to commit suicide.  But since I hadn’t managed that yet, and since James was the Chief Financial Officer for his company, I at least considered my finances to be in good hands.  I hoped.

“During the talks we’re planning to have each week,” he continued, “I may give you some updates on your finances, but most likely I won’t.  It’s going to have to depend on how I feel about the situation.  But the truth is that we no longer consider you to have any need to know about it at all.  A baby doesn’t worry about money, so you shouldn’t have to worry about it either.  Just know that I’m hoping that despite all the expenses we know this is going to involve, you’ll come out with more money in the end than you have now.”

I said nothing.  I just hoped that if I was alive when this was all over with, there would be something left.  But what I really hoped for was to be dead.  But of course, James was a professional when it came to money, and there was a lot of money there for him to play with.

“Just so you know,” Ashley said, “Emily, Caitlin, and Bill will now be expected to contribute to the cost of running this house, including all food, utility bills, mortgage, even taxes when the time comes.  We considered having Emily, and Bill and Caitlin together, pay a full third each for all the costs, but since they really don’t make that much money, we assigned them a smaller portion instead.  If Bill moves out like Caitlin is worried might happen, Caitlin’s portion will go down since Bill’s income won’t be available.”

The concerning bit of that news was that it sounded like Caitlin and Bill weren’t on the best of terms, but I think someone had mentioned that already.  Because of those pills, it was hard to remember.

“In case you’re wondering,” James continued, “all costs for your treatment, other than food, will come equally from you, me, and Ashley, not them.  The kids don’t have any access to your money at all, only Ashley and me, and I will be monitoring and keeping a record of every penny spent on everything!”

“You said you were going to take care of it all,” I said.  “I wish you luck.”

“Don’t worry Dad.  This is the stuff I love to do.”

I knew that much was true.

“Dad,” Ashley said next.  “We don’t have an exact time limit for this treatment we’ve planned.  We’re hoping it will be over with in a matter of months.  If it goes more than a year, we may have to discuss if it looks like it’s worth it to continue or not.  But all that will be our decisions, not yours.  You will have no say in the matter at all.  But then, from this point on, we’re all going to consider you to be nothing but a baby, so you should have no say in it.  In fact, it would probably be best if you yourself considered yourself to be nothing but a baby.”

“But we’re all hoping you’ll be back to your old…ornery self…in a matter of a few months,” James added quickly.

“We have no illusions about that though,” Ashley continued.  “Most likely it’s going to take a lot more than just a few months.  According to Doctor Clive, most treatments take a very long time.  We suggest you resign yourself to the fact that you’re going to be living as a baby, and probably subjected to gross embarrassments, for quite a while.”

“Gross embarrassments?” I asked.

“You’re a baby now,” Ashley replied.  “We’re going to be treating you like one all the time, so don’t worry about it.”

“How can I not?”

Just to warn you,” James said, “Doctor Clive has told us that she may show up here at any time, just to check on you.  She’s threatened that if she doesn’t like what she sees, we could all be charged with abuse again, and next time she’ll do everything possible to make sure those charges stick.  We’re hoping she never finds anything for her to be concerned about.  We don’t want to be charged by the police so we’re going to be taking all her suggestions very seriously.”

“Suggestions?”  But that question was ignored like my last one.

“Anything else?” James asked Ashley.

I was thinking they were done.  Hooray.  It hadn’t taken nearly as long as they were thinking, and it hadn’t been…that…painful either.

“No,” Ashley replied.  “I think we can get down to business now.”

I looked at her in disbelief.  This hadn’t been the business they had been planning to talk to me about?  What else could there be?  I saw her grab a stack of papers from the desk.

“Dad,” James said.  I noticed he was holding a stack of papers too.  “We’ve come up with a list of things.  Maybe you can think of them as rules for you…and I guess, that’s pretty much what they are.”

“These rules may not be complete or perfect,” Ashley added, “but we think they’re a good start.  We will of course modify them as necessary to make sure they all work.”

“Rules for me, or you?” I asked.

James seemed to consider that.  “Both!” he said.

“Dad,” Ashley said,  “As much as it doesn’t sound like it, all of this has been carefully designed to help you.  We want you to get better.  We don’t want this to go on forever, which we’re not going to do anyway.  But we especially don’t want you to wind up…dead.”

“Right,” James agreed.  “It may not sound like it, but all this is to help establish the framework for your therapy.”

“Therapy?  I still don’t see how this can be any kind of therapy.”

“That’s the brilliant part about it,” Ashley said.  “You get to enjoy something you’ve probably only dreamed about.  And we do hope you’ll enjoy it.”

“That I dreamed about?” I asked.

“It’s all based on your fantasies,” she replied.  “All of it.  And don’t try to deny it.  I’ve spent the last few weeks studying your internet history and all the sites you’ve spent so much time looking at.  I know you’ve got tons of fantasies running through your head about all of it.  I even saw where you were looking into buying some things.  So just try to relax completely and…enjoy it.”

I looked at her wondering what kind of cog had slipped loose in her brain.  James’ brain too for that matter.