Friday, March 16, 2018

Mister Mike - Chapter 16 – Part 1 of 2

The Domination of Mister Mike
By Karen Singer

Chapter 16 – Part 1 of 2

     Why, why, why, why, why?  Why had I signed up for this kind of life?  I really should have known better.  My morning had been beyond my worst nightmare imaginable.  I had purposely been outed as sick in the head to my neighbors.  And now I felt nothing but sorry for myself and horrible.  I had lost the friendship and respect of my neighbors.  But what I didn’t know, was that my afternoon was about to take that sense of loss and do nothing but compound it.  And that my new problems would have nothing at all to do with the punishment that Joanna said she was going to come up with for me for using my safe phrase when she thought it wasn’t necessary.  I thought it was necessary!  I guess that didn’t count for much.
     After a morning of shoveling snow and grocery shopping with Joanna, Ashley had commanded me to go back to wearing nothing but my wet diaper, those damn five inch t-strap heels locked to my feet, my bra with the birdseed breast forms in it, and my ruffled maroon blouse.  Oh yeah, and of course now my new pacifier that Ashley claimed she wanted me sucking on all the time.  It was hard to believe that that silly little appliance stuck in my mouth could make me feel that much more embarrassed and humiliated…even in my own house! 
     While I worked on putting the groceries away, Joanna set about making lunch.  She offered to make lunch for Chris as well, but he begged off and soon left.  I had seen him and Ashley pouring over that agreement we had all signed before he left.  But then all the rest of Ashley’s friends had done the same thing the week before.  I was only amazed that Chris seemed to be somewhat back in the picture again with Ashley.  I was also amazed that I hadn’t heard one word of argument between them the entire time he was there. 
     It was a late but very nice lunch that Joanna had prepared for us.  Her cooking was one of the highlights of my week.  But what wasn’t nice was that I was forced to drink my Coke from that crazy baby bottle that Joanna had bought at the grocery store – at Ashley’s instruction.  My mouth was already tired from keeping that damn pacifier in it, and even taking time to enjoy having the pacifier gone from my mouth while I ate, just trying to suck the drink out of that silly baby bottle was enough to tire my lips out again and practically send me into bouts of frustration.  And of course, the sight of me trying to drink from it sent both Joanna and Ashley into fits of giggles while they ate. 
     I was less than halfway through that bottle that Ashley declared I had to finish all of, when Ashley made another declaration.  “From now on,” she said as I was trying once again to get some of my drink out of that bottle, “the only thing I ever want to see you drinking from…is that baby bottle!”  And then she and Joanna laughed some more…while I felt my face turning red once again. 
     Ashley and Joanna finished their meal and were gone from the table long before I was “allowed” to get up, only because it took me so long to finish just that simple baby bottle full of Coke.  And of course, the moment I was done drinking it, that damn pacifier had to go back in my mouth.
     After spending several hours outside shoveling snow in four inch heels, then wandering the grocery store in locked-on five inch heels, and of course being stuck in those five inch heels afterwards, the balls of my feet and my toes were aching horribly.  But that didn’t mean that either Ashley or Joanne felt any sympathy for me at all as I had to go about cleaning up after Joanna’s cooking.  Once finished though, I was looking forward to disappearing into my room for a few minutes (at least) and resting my feet, not to mention sneaking that stupid pacifier out of my mouth for a bit.  But the moment I left the kitchen and headed for my bedroom, I once again heard that sound that sent chills down my spine.
      “Mister Miiike…”
     Ugh!  I turned and headed for Ashley where she had been sitting and talking with her mother.  “Yes?” I asked with the pacifier still between my teeth.
     Ashley brandished the agreement in her hand.  “Do you know what it says in here?” she asked me.
      “Uh…I’ve got a pretty good idea,” I replied.  In truth, I knew all too well everything that it said in that agreement.  Because every bit of it was aimed at making me miserable.  And I had still signed up for it?
     Ashley pulled the paper down where she could read it and pointed her finger at part of it.  “It says here that… ‘Michael Hammond understands that in the position he will be occupying, Ashley will be the master of his home.’”  She looked up at me with nothing but glee in her face. 
     I had no idea what was about to come at me now, but I already dreaded it. 
      “Since I am the master of this house,” she said all too wickedly.  “Then I think it’s only right that I should have the master bedroom and you should be stuck with that little guest room.  So I want you moving all your stuff out of your bedroom…and your closet…and your bathroom.  Oh!” she stopped quickly.  I mean out of my bedroom, and my closet and my bathroom!”
     I was shocked…to say the least.  The pacifier was quickly gone from my mouth.  “You’re taking my bedroom?  But that’s my bedroom!”
      “Not anymore!” Ashley declared all too triumphantly.
     I looked to Joanna, silently willing her to step in.  That was my room, my personal private space.  My sanctuary. 
      “I’m sorry Mike,” Joanna said.  “But Ashley is right.  And if she wants to take your room, then that’s her choice.  And Mike, this still has nothing at all to do with what punishment I’m going to come up with for you.  This is something that Ashley thought about last night once we got the dresser in that room.”
     I was aghast.  More than aghast.  “But…but…that’s my personal place,” I tried.
      “Not anymore!” Ashley declared all too proud of herself.  “Now get busy, and move your stuff.  All of it!”
     I again looked to Joanna.  “But…”
      “Mike.  You agreed!”
     I could do nothing but stare between them…totally disheartened. 
      “Go!” Ashley commanded.  “Do it!”
     Feeling totally crushed, I turned.  I was being kicked out of my room.  My nice big bedroom.  Not to mention my nice big bed.  Not to mention my nice big closet and bathroom too.  Not bothering to stick that dumb pacifier back in my mouth, I went into my room…my old room…and stood there looking around.  I didn’t even know where to start.
     And then Joanna was there.  “Do I have to?” I asked her.
      “Mike, when I’m not here, Ashley is in charge, and you know that.”
      “But you’re here now!  Can’t you stop this?”
      “Why?  I think it’s perfectly fine if she wants the nice big room.  In fact, in your position right now, I think it’s not only fine, I think it’s actually proper.” 
     She would have to think that!  And unfortunately, I could actually see her point. 
      “Now stick that pacifier back in your mouth,” she ordered, but then she paused and smiled all too wickedly at me.  “And then get that soaked diaper you’re wearing off.  I want you naked and exposed for the rest of the afternoon.  Wash yourself off down there after you get rid of that diaper though.  And while you’re doing that, I’ll start removing Ashley’s things from the other room.”
     I was totally disheartened about everything.  In fact, this situation wasn’t even turning me on.  I was more than glad to get rid of that diaper.  Not only was it all too bulky when it was dry, but I had wet it a few times already and that had only made it so much worse.  Even walking around totally exposed like I was, was far more comfortable.  Except that the moment Joanna saw that I had now gotten rid of that diaper and had cleaned myself up with a washcloth, she insisted that I stand there and stroke myself and make myself hard.
      “Now you keep yourself that way until I say otherwise,” she told me with an all too wicked grin.  “Grab all your girly stuff from your bottom drawer first,” she instructed.  “You can put it in the top drawer of the new chest in your room.”
     With that damn pacifier in my mouth, I didn’t even bother trying to answer.  Five minutes later, I saw Joanna placing a chair at the end of the hallway, and helping Ashley sit in it where she could watch.  “Mike!” Joanna called as I was carrying an armload of my things from my dresser.  “Stop right there and pump yourself up again – fully!”
     I tried juggling all the clothes I had in my hands moving them to just one arm, but I dropped half of them on the floor.  But I did stand there for some time getting myself hard once again. 
      “Okay Mike.  Get that stuff into your room.”
     Joanna moved all of Ashley’s things from her old room and put them on the bed in my old room.  It didn’t take her very long at all.  It took me a long time to move my things, because Ashley was making me stop every time I went past her, in either direction, to once again bring make myself fully erect.  Sometimes it took quite a while before she said I could go, sometimes it didn’t.  But because of having to do that constantly, I couldn’t carry nearly as much stuff as I would have wanted to. 
     The new dresser wasn’t nearly as large as my old one.  So it filled up rather quickly.  Of course, Joanna plucked all of my male underwear right out of my arms before I even got it into that new dresser, freeing up…a tiny amount of space.  Before long however, I found myself piling things on the floor.  I also now found myself starting to drip cum once in a while when I stopped each time to bring myself to the edge of orgasm – before being denied, which brought much amusement to both Ashley and her demented mother.
     I had to move all of my “girly” clothes from my closet first.  My work clothes next.  Then everything else from my closet.  The smaller closet in the guest room – my room now – was well packed by the time I was done, and my ache for release was growing more than a bit extreme.  But then there was also the bathroom to consider.  Joanna moved all of Ashley’s things out of the guest bathroom, and I moved all of my things in. 
     I was leaking and dripping even more now, which Ashley proclaimed I’d be cleaning up later, but neither Ashley nor Joanna would let a single trip across the hall go without me stopping to play with myself.  It was maddening – and worse.  I was soon hyperventilating around the edges of that damn pacifier in my mouth, which had me drooling and dripping all too often up there as well.  Dripping down below, and dripping up above.  But it was down below I was far more concerned with.
     The job was finally done – for me.  But all of Ashley’s things were now on the big bed in that room.  Ashley was moved from the end of the hallway to inside the room while Joanna put her things away for her.  In the meantime, I was forced to stand in the room, where every few minutes one of them would tell me to start playing with myself again.  I was fervently hoping they would get so busy and distracted with what they were doing that I would be able to bring myself over the edge and spurt my load.  Unfortunately, it never…quite…happened.  I continued to get more desperate, and I also continued to drip even worse. 
     And then Joanna said, “Come on Mike.  We’re going to get Ashley’s things from the garage now.  There’s more than enough room for most of it here.”
     Trip after trip after trip.  And of course, before I could go back to the garage each time, I had to stand there and bring myself right to the edge before one of them told me to stop.  The only good thing about that job, was that it took much longer to go between the garage and her bedroom, so I had a longer period of…non-relief.
     Eventually the job got finished.  Her room, bathroom, and closet were all neat and perfect.  My room was a disaster, with things piled everywhere, not to mention that big box of diapers taking up much of the floor space.  At least the garage looked better though.  Such a tiny compensation.
     Whenever I could, I was glancing at the clock.  It had taken a long time to move all that stuff.  And I knew that Joanna would be leaving later that night to go home.  But it was the number of hours until bedtime that I was most interested in.  The number of hours until I knew I could finally get the release I now desperately needed.  Unfortunately, that time was still a long way off. 
     Joanna headed for the kitchen to start making dinner, Ashley got into her chair in the living room, and I had to stand where she could see me and make sure I stayed completely hard all the time.  And then Joanna came out of the kitchen with that damn baby bottle.  “Here Mike.  It’s going to be a while before dinner.  Drink this while you’re playing with yourself.”  She herself plucked that damn pacifier from my mouth before waiting to see me start sucking on that bottle. 
     I played with myself…sort of…with one hand, while I held the bottle in my mouth with the other.  I watched Ashley.  The TV was on and she would occasionally watch it for a few moments, but never for long.  I wanted her to get very interested in it…so she would stop watching me and I could stop playing with myself for a few minutes longer.  It never happened.  She was far more interested in me than in the show on TV.
     Joanna came back when Ashley called out that my bottle was done, and she replaced the bottle with that damn pacifier that I now hated so much.  “Dinner will be ready soon,” she told me.  How the hell could I eat?  My body was hungering for something that had nothing at all to do with food.  But now that I had finished that bottle, I had another problem.  “Um…I’m afraid I’ve got to pee,” I told her.
      “Oh,” she said, sounding somewhat surprised.  She seemed to think for a moment.  “Fine,” she said, “go, but leave the bathroom door open so we can watch.  You are not to play with yourself at all, you can hold it, but nothing more.  If I see you cum, then you’ll be in even worse trouble!”  And then she turned to Ashley.  “Ash, will you keep an eye on him in there for me?  I’ve got to keep dinner going.”
     Ashley only laughed and laboriously pried herself out of her chair.
     I went into the guest bathroom – now my bathroom and stood there in front of the toilet holding my aching penis.  But I was still hard and all too pent up with need.  As much as I needed to pee, I couldn’t. 
      “What’s the matter Mister Mike?” Ashley asked, sounding all too amused.
      “Uh…I’m a bit too…hard right now.  I’ve got to wait till it shrinks a bit.”
      “Just don’t play with it,” she told me. 
     I had no plans to do that, because if I did, it would only keep me from being able to pee.  And I did need to pee.
     I stood there for a long time, while Ashley watched from the doorway.  It was humiliating to stand there and be watched – no privacy allowed.  But after a while, I finally shrank enough that my pee finally started to come out.  It was a longer time though before I got small enough to fully unload my bladder.  Such a relief.  But then of course, Ashley ordered me to start stroking myself to get hard all over again – even as I was going back out to the living room.  The long trip to the bathroom had been a welcome relief in more ways than one, but obviously, that bit of respite was over with.

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Mister Mike - Chapter 15 – Part 2 of 2

The Domination of Mister Mike
By Karen Singer

Chapter 15 – Part 2 of 2

     It took me over two hours to mournfully shovel all that snow.  And by the time I finished, I was exhausted.  I was exhausted, and my toes were killing me.  Four inch heels were absolutely the wrong footwear to wear to even think about doing a job like that!  I couldn’t use my entire foot for leverage and strength, I had been forced to use nothing more than my toes. 
     I went back into the house, removing my coat on the way, I headed straight past Ashley, Chris, and Joanna in the living room and went straight back to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed.  The job would have been difficult with normal boots and clothing.  But trying to do it in those heels was simply too much.  And that didn’t even count how much that damn bulky diaper was irritating the top of my legs.  And of course I had wet it already which only made matters worse.
     After a moment of lying on my back, I sat up and began removing my boots.  My toes were killing me after all that work. 
      “Mike?” Joanna said as she suddenly appeared in my room.  “What are you doing?”
      “My feet are killing me,” I told her.  “That was too much of a job in these stupid boots.”
     She smiled.  “But you managed it.  Just fine from what I saw.  While you’re taking those boots off, please take my black pants off now too.  Just wear that pretty red skirt.”
     Ugh!  Getting my other boot off was at the top of my priority list.  I took a minute to rub and massage my aching feet while Joanna stood there watching me.  I gratefully got rid of that overly noticeable red skirt I had worn to shovel snow in, and finally started tugging Joanna’s black pants off of me.  Cool air finally enveloped my legs, but even then I noticed the feel of the pantyhose adding a touch of warmth to my skin. 
      “Mike, wear the skirt again please.  It looked so nice on you outside.”
     Wear the skirt?  Ugh!  And no, I was sure it didn’t look nice on me at all.  All it looked – was embarrassing.  But what the heck?  I was done working outside.  I stuck the red skirt back on. 
      “You can wear those boots again too if you like,” she told me.  “Either those or your other pretty shoes.”
     That option was no contest.  With a sigh, I slipped my feet back into the boots and zipped them up. 
      “Good Mike.  Much better.  Now get your coat and let’s go.”
     She turned to me with one of those sly smiles of hers.  “We’re going out.”
      “Out?” I exclaimed as panic hit me full throttle. 
      “Yes.  We’ve got to go grocery shopping.”
      “Grocery shopping!”
     She smiled slyly at me.  “Don’t forget your purse, Mike.”  She walked out.
     I grabbed the pants I had just taken off and threw them all the way across the room.
     I can’t tell you how silly and embarrassed I felt as I unhappily made my way out to the living room, this time wearing just the red skirt without the pants underneath, and also carrying that damn colorful purse in my hand, I heard laughter…and nobody was even looking at me.  Out in the living room, I noticed that Chris was still there, and he and Ashley seemed to be getting along better than ever as they looked at something on Ashley’s computer.
      “There you are Mike,” Joanna said as I reached the living room.  “Ready?”
      “Not really.”
      “Tough!” she said with all too broad of a smile.  “Let’s go.”
     Go?  I was wondering how in the heck I could possibly leave the house.  Go shopping?  Dressed the way I was?  It was ludicrous.  It was insane.  It had been bad enough going shopping for that dresser last night while wearing the women’s pants, but now I wasn’t wearing those pants anymore.  Instead, Joanna was making me wear just that bright red flirty skirt I had worn over those pants while I shoveled snow.  And it was a skirt that just screamed for attention.  Not to mention that I was fairly sure it didn’t do a very good job of disguising the fat diaper I was wearing underneath it.  Go grocery shopping like that?  To be honest, I really didn’t know how I was going to get through it. 
     And more than anything else on my mind, I couldn’t forget the fact that my neighbors all knew about me now…and the fact that they all hated me because of it.  And I was fairly certain that Joanna had planned and orchestrated that little event – purposely! 
     Completely against my better judgement though, I put my coat on and followed Joanna outside.
     Once again we took her car, and once again I was very unhappy.  And that doesn’t even count how nervous I felt…just riding in her car where I could be seen by other drivers.  Just looking down gave me an all too realistic view of my knees covered in nothing but pantyhose.  That alone added a whole new level of humiliation and nervousness.  What would my neighbors have said if I had been out earlier in nothing but a skirt…like I was now?  Would it have been even worse?
     I was nervous, and surprisingly, somewhat angry.  Because of Joanna and Ashley, I had just been outed to my neighbors.  They knew about me now, and there was no doubt that neither of them were happy about it.  My neighbor across the street had flat out told me to move, and I knew my other neighbor agreed with him…and I couldn’t blame either of them.
     In truth, I really wished I could move.  In fact, once this was all over with, I most likely would!  I would find a new house in some distant part of the city and start all over again.  The only question was, how much longer was this going to go on?  Ashley still had about four more weeks in those casts.  And then she would have to be able to get back to work and earn some money.  And how much longer would it take for her to save up enough to move into someplace her mother would approve of.  And that didn’t even count the fact that she would need a new car.  I had no doubt at all that it was going to go on for a long, long time.  Which meant that I was screwed!  Totally and completely screwed!  And I had signed up for this?  Why?  Because I was sick in the head, and I knew it.  And now so did my neighbors. 
     I was the world’s biggest idiot!  And signing that agreement had been the absolute proof of that.  Idiot!  Bastard!  Demented!  Sick!  The names I mentally called myself went on and on.  And now Joanna was taking me out to a grocery store to go shopping – dressed as I was?  It was only going to make matters so much worse!
     The parking lot at the grocery store wasn’t as crowded as it often was, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t a lot of cars there.  I think the snow was keeping some people away, or at least delaying them.  Either way, there were still people there, and I was still dressed way too humiliatingly.  And for the life of me, I didn’t see how I could do it – go out in public dressed the way I was.  Because this was by far the wort thing Joanna had tried to do with me so far.
     Joanna opened her car door, and got out.  “Mike!” she said sternly to get me moving. 
     But I couldn’t seem to move.  I couldn’t seem to find the courage to open that car door.  Not after the way my neighbors had treated me earlier.  They had seen me, and Jack had flat out told me to move!  Neither of them wanted me around anymore.  And I couldn’t blame them.
      “Mike!  Come on!” Joanna said more sternly.
     But I still couldn’t move.  I couldn’t look at her, I couldn’t look at the store, I couldn’t look at anything.  It was as if my mind was in some kind of all-consuming fog. 
      “Mike!  What the hell is wrong with you?  Get out of that car!”
     But I still sat there, totally unable to do what she wanted. 
     She leaned down into the car.  “What are you doing?”
     I finally managed to turn my head to look at her.  “I can’t,” I said.  “I can’t do it.”
      “Do what?”
      “Go into the store dressed like this,” I replied.  “I can’t do it.”
     She stared at me for a moment.  “Mike, you did it last night.”
      “Not…like this,” I told her.  “I wasn’t wearing a skirt, and it wasn’t with so many people around.”
      “But you were still dressed totally in women’s clothes, and you still looked…very…funny.”
      “I shook my head.  “I just can’t do it anymore.  It’s too much.”
     She stared at me for a moment more, then got into the car and closed the door.  “What are you saying?” she asked.  “Are you calling it quits to the whole agreement?”
      “Yes…no…I don’t know.  I just can’t do…this anymore.  Not in public.  It’s…too much.”
      “So you’re quitting?” she asked softly.  “Ending the agreement?”
      “I don’t know.  Maybe.  Maybe it’s for the best.  You saw how my neighbors treated me.  And going out into public in places while I’m dressed like this will only make things worse for me.”
     It was a moment before she answered.  “True, but then, you knew that going in.  And we both know that deep down, it’s something that you wanted to experience.”
     I tried to think about that…understand that.  “Maybe,” I admitted.  “I only know that I can’t do this.”
     She sighed.  “It’s your choice Mike,” she said.  “It always has been…and it always will be.  Maybe I did push you too fast.  Maybe I thought it was easier for you to do things in public when in truth you weren’t ready for it yet.  But you did do things in public before.  For me, and for Ashley both.  So…I guess I simply thought you could do it.”
      “Yeah,” I said as I hung my head.  I looked back up at her.  “I guess I did manage to do it.  But that was before I saw what it meant to my neighbors.  That was before I saw what people would really think about me.”
     It was a moment before she answered.  “Does it really matter what everyone else thinks about you?”
     I shrugged.  “Yes.  I’d still like some kind of respect…at least from someone.”
      “We’re being very careful to protect your job at work,” she noted.  “So you should still have no problem there.”
      “Yeah, but nowhere else.”
      “You knew that would be the most likely outcome before you signed the agreement.”
     I nodded, but reluctantly.  “Yeah.  But I guess…this morning, with my neighbors, just brought it all home to me.  It was too much.”  I looked straight into her eyes.  “You set that up…purposely!”
     She shrugged.  “Maybe.  I didn’t really think about it, but I knew it was a very good possibility that they’d see you.  That was why I was watching you out the window so closely. 
      “But did you have to tell them the truth?”
      “Of course.  Besides, if this went on much longer, they would have realized something else was wrong anyway.  This way, they already know.  This way, you don’t have to worry about them finding out or what they think about you.  You already know…for better or for worse.  And I guess, judging by their comments this morning, it was mostly for worse.  But either way, that part is over for you now, and you don’t have to worry about them finding out anymore.  They already know.  What more can they say to you?”
      “They could probably sue me for something.”
     She shook her head.  “Highly unlikely.  You’re not a child molester.”
      “But still…”
      “Mike!” she cut me off.  “I’m pretty sure every neighborhood has someone that the neighbors would rather not have around.”
      “But why does that person have to be me?”
      “This time…it just is.”
     I turned my head away from her and stared out the windshield at…nothing.  My head was too lost in morose thoughts and feelings to do anything more. 
      “It was fun while it lasted though,” she said.
     Her comment actually brought a smile to my face.  Somehow, I actually chuckled a little.  “Yeah,” I agreed.  “Believe it or not, it really was.  And don’t get me started on how horny I was…pretty much constantly.”
     She laughed.  “I have no doubt at all.”  Her voice turned more serious.  “I’m going to miss it though,” she said.  “And I’m going to miss you.  I can’t tell you how much I was enjoying it.”
     I turned to look at her again, somehow, a faint smile was on my face.  “Yeah,” I agreed.  “Me too.”
     We stared at each other for a moment before she asked, “So you’re definitely quitting?” she asked.  “Ending the agreement?  Or…do you want to use your safe words and keep going?”
     I hadn’t even thought about my safe phrase.  “So if I use that phrase,” I said, “that means we can keep going?”
      “Of course,” she said with a smile.  “But I would have to find some kind of nasty punishment for you for chickening out on this, because I still think it’s something you can do.”
     I shook my head.  “Maybe I could before…before this morning with my neighbors, but I…I just can’t do it now.  I’m sorry.”
     She looked at me for a moment without speaking.  Finally she said.  “So what is it?  Quit permanently, or are you going to say your safe words?”
     I smiled.  “If I use my safe words, do I have to say them?”
     She looked shocked.  “Of course!  I went to a lot of trouble to come up with something that would be totally humiliating for you to say.  Saying that phrase is almost as bad as some of the other things you have to do.”
     I actually laughed a little.  “Yeah.  That it is.”
      “So what’s it going to be Mike?”
     I thought about it for a moment, and decided to keep going with things.  I would use the humiliating safe phrase.  I opened my mouth to speak, but she cut me off before I had a chance to get started.
      “Mike…” she said.  “Before you do that, let me warn you.  If you use those words, then I’m going to have to come up with some really nasty way to punish you, perhaps several different things to punish you with, only because this is still something that I think you can do…right now!”
     I stared at her for a moment while I considered it, but the looks of anger and disgust on my neighbor’s faces were still all too clear to me.  I shook my head.  “I just can’t do it,” I said.  “Not in public at least.  It’s too much for me.”
      “In public,” she replied.
     I nodded.  “Yeah.  I don’t care what you make me do in my own house, but out in public where everyone else can see…it’s just too much.”
      “I’m not going to rule out doing things in public.  That was clearly stated in our agreement.”
      “I know, but…it’s just too much.”
     She nodded.  “Like I said earlier, maybe I pushed you too fast.  I thought you could do it.  Suppose we tone it down a bit…out in public.  At least for a while.”
      “That would help,” I told her. 
     She nodded.  “Then later on, we can increase things.  We’ll just go a little slower with it.”
     Increase things?  I wasn’t sure I could.  Especially not in public.
      “So Mike, what’s it going to be?” she asked again.  “Quit, or say your safe words and we go home and…adjust the way you’re dressed…a little.  And then come back again.  And then I have to find some way special to make you as miserable as possible so you learn your lesson.”  She held her finger up and added.  “Or…do you want to get out of the car now, and go into the store with me just the way you are, the way I know for a fact that you can, and go shopping with me…even though I’ll probably come up with something later on to punish you with for making me go through all this with you.  But whatever I come up with then, won’t be nearly as bad as what I’ll have to come up with if you use your safe words.”
     It was suddenly a lot to consider.  I could go in dressed just as I was, but again the faces of my angry neighbors came to mind.  So no, no matter what she thought I could do, that wasn’t something I was ready to do yet. 
     After that, I actually considered quitting again – seriously!  The faces of my neighbors were still foremost on my mind.  But they knew now.  Stopping now wouldn’t solve my problem with the neighbors at all.
     My mind turned to the next possibility, saying my safe words and chickening out on just doing this.  The faces of my neighbors were still there, but so was Joanna’s face.  Joanna who had climbed naked into my bed with me and shown me how to make love to an actual woman.  Joanna, the first woman I had ever had sex with – in my entire life.  Possibly the only woman I would ever have sex with – in my entire life. 
     The answer was easy.  Saying the words humiliated me before I had even opened my mouth.  “Mister Mike is a sissy chicken,” I admitted.  I immediately noted that oddly, actually saying the words out loud was more humiliating than just thinking about them.
     Joanna shook her head.  “I’m sorry to hear you say that Mike.  I really thought you could do this.”  With a sigh, she started the car, backed it out of the parking place, and headed home.
     Once in the driveway, we got out and headed for the door.  Strangely, I noticed that while I still felt humiliated and nervous about being out, my fear of my neighbors seeing me was somewhat less.
     The moment we opened the door to the kitchen, I heard Chris in the living room loudly exclaiming.  “Yeah!  That’ll be so good!”
      “Hey!  Who’s that?” Ashley yelled.  “You’re back already?” Ashley asked as we walked into the living room. 
     I was surprised to note that she and Chris were still there together…and they weren’t arguing…yet.  In fact, they seemed rather happy about something.
      “I’m afraid that Mike here decided to use his safe phrase once we got there.  He didn’t feel he could go shopping dressed the way he was.”
      “He used his safe phrase?” Ashley said, unable to believe it.  “He…chickened out…after doing some of the things he’s already done?”
      “I know,” Joanna replied.  “I feel the same way.”
      “So what are you going to do to him?” Ashley asked rather eagerly.
      “I don’t know yet,” Joanna told her.  “I’m going to have to think about it.  But in the meantime, I’m afraid that for now, we’re going to be toning things down a bit whenever he goes out in public.”
     Ashley suddenly looked aghast.  “But Mom…”
      “No buts, Ashley.  For now, we’re going to go easier on him…out in public.  But I’m afraid that because of that, he’s probably going to be in for it far worse while he’s at home.”
      “So does that mean I don’t have to hold back on him anymore while he’s here?”
     I was quite surprised to hear that.
     Joanna looked at her for moment then nodded.  “Yes.  I asked you to do that so he could get used to things.  But now, in light of this, well, I think that restriction can go.  But Ashley, before you go jumping the gun, I may have some new guidelines for you, so don’t get your hopes up too much.
      “Oh Mom…” Ashley complained.  “So what are you going to do to him?”
     Joanna shrugged.  “For now, we’re going to get rid of a few of the things he’s wearing.  At least down to the point where he thinks he can manage.”  She looked straight at me…rather menacingly.  “He’s still going to have to be dressed somewhat…humiliatingly.  And we’re still going to push the issue as much as possible.”
     I gulped.  Maybe using my safe words wasn’t so safe after all.
      “He’s not…getting out of that diaper he’s wearing!” Ashley declared sternly.
     Joanna smiled.  “No dear, I have no doubt that no matter how much he dislikes wearing them, his diaper can remain.”
     Definitely not something I wanted to hear.  No matter what I wore, that diaper was thick and bulky to begin with.  Now that I had been wearing it for half the day, I had wet it a few times and it was far worse.  Reluctantly, I let Joanna lead me toward my bedroom.
     Twenty minutes later, I made my way nervously out to her car again.  What I was wearing was a vast improvement…although far from perfect.  Far, far from perfect!  Yes, that stupid miserable wet diaper was still in place.  So was my bra with the breast forms too.  The pantyhose I had on earlier were also still in place.  But the skirt was gone, my blouse was gone, and the women’s boots were gone…although I’d rather I was wearing those boots again. 
     Over top of my diaper, pantyhose, and bra with the breast forms, I was wearing my normal men’s clothes.  I even had a nice pullover sweater on…even though you still couldn’t miss the outline of my fake breasts underneath.  But surprisingly, that bra wasn’t my biggest worry, especially since I knew I’d be wearing a coat to help disguise it.  My biggest problem, was the fact that my feet were once again encased in my five inch t-strap heels.  And once again those shoes were locked onto my feet so I couldn’t take them off.  And then to make matters much worse, just before we left my bedroom, Joanna handed me that dumb colorful purse again.  Maybe it would have been better for me to just get out of the car earlier dressed the way I was in that skirt.  But Joanna and I had now come to an agreement on what I was wearing, even though she was admittedly pushing me to my limits…and beyond.  And trust me, it was either this, or she threatened to figure out a way that I could start wearing the diapers to work as well.  That pretty much ended any further arguments on my side.  The part that worried me even more though, was that Joanna was insisting that she would still keep pushing my limits more and more as time went on.
     The parking lot at the grocery store seemed a little more crowded this time.  Once again I didn’t want to get out of Joanna’s car when we got there, but once again, all it took was a few words of firm caution on her part to get me moving.  But I hadn’t even closed the car door yet when Joanna said, “Mike…wait a minute.”
      “Take your coat off.”
      “My coat?  But it’s cold out.”
      “And it’s only a short walk into the store.  Now take your coat off and leave it in the car.”  When I hesitated too long she added, “Now!”
     Ugh!  I wasn’t sure if I was growing more nervous, or more angry.  Both actually.  But I took my coat off, which naturally revealed my padded breasts beneath my sweater and shirt. 
      “Much better,” Joanna declared. 
      “Could I do this now?  Could I actually go into the grocery store this way?  Removing my coat had just made everything so much worse.  But before I could think about it anymore, Joanna herself closed my car door…and then locked it.  I was stuck.  No way to get back into the car, and no way to hide anything. 
     I was out of the car again, wearing high heels in public again.  This time I was wearing mostly my own male clothes.  I had felt somewhat safer until she had made me remove my coat so my breasts would be on display.  High heels…and breasts.  And I was carrying a colorful purse.  Even in the parking lot, I immediately noticed a few people turning their heads to look at me.  It was a moment before I realized that it wasn’t my breasts sticking out that was catching everyone’s attention.  It wasn’t the heels on my feet either.  It was that darn colorful purse.  And of course, the humiliation of it hit me all that much harder…and so did the sexual need down in my groin because of it.  I could literally feel how red my face was getting, and it had nothing at all to do with the cold temperature.
     Once in the store, I was quick to grab a shopping cart and throw that purse into the child’s seat so I wouldn’t be carrying it.  I felt a little safer that way.  Now if people could possibly not notice my chest and those darn heels! 
     I followed Joanna around while she pulled things off of the shelves and threw them into the cart.  I don’t think there was a single person in the store that didn’t stop to look me over all too carefully.  At least it felt that way to me.  Was I overly self-conscious about things?  Maybe…but probably not.  Despite my mostly male clothes, I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb.  I also knew there was nothing I could do about it.  As Joanna had so elegantly pointed out, I had signed up for just this kind of thing.  Not only that, but this was the compromise I had agreed on with her when I had gotten redressed.  But how much worse would it have been for me to go shopping like this while wearing a short bright red skirt?  I had no doubt it would have been far worse!  I hated myself for what I had agreed to do.  I hated the situation I was in.  I was nervous as heck.  I was horribly embarrassed.  And I was turned on as hell! 
     Joanna stopped every once in a while to take pictures of me and then text them to Ashley.  I had no doubt that all too often those pictures included the reactions of the people around us.  Yet there I was, dressed like an idiot, still pushing that shopping cart around the store.  Let me tell you, it certainly didn’t help matters when we went past a display of pantyhose and Joanna grabbed two pair, then said in an all too loud and clear voice, “You need more of these Michael.  Let’s just get some for you now.”  Could my face turn any redder than it already was?
     Naturally, we went up every aisle.  Naturally, Joanna took her sweet time deciding what I would be buying and what I wouldn’t.  Actually, she would be paying me back for half the price of the groceries, so I would only be buying half of it…sort of.  I still had to pay for it all myself first.  The cart was getting amazingly full.  I never came close to buying that much stuff for myself.  But then I now had Ashley living in my house.  Oh yeah, and Joanna for several days as well. 
     We were actually doing well, or at least I thought I was, despite my condition and all too many people giving me strange looks.  And then we got to the aisle that had all the baby care stuff.  And Joanna’s slow careful shopping somehow got even slower.  I saw her reach out and grab a container of baby powder and find a place for it in the cart.  “You might need that,” Joanna said with all too big of a smile. 
     Not a happy thought for me.  But then if Ashley really did try to keep me in diapers all the time, maybe I would…not that I’d really know what to do with the powder. 
     And then I saw Joanna stop and look at something else…and I wasn’t happy at all.  Her hand reached out and selected a package, and with a broad grin, she threw it into the cart.  Pacifiers.  Baby pacifiers.  A package of three!  I was shocked!  And my knees went slightly weak for a moment.
      “Ashley particularly asked me to look for them,” Joanna told me.  “Those and…” she started looking further down the shelves.  “These,” she finished. 
     I died a bit more as I saw her looking over the store’s selection of baby bottles. 
     Joanna pulled one of the bottles off the shelf and held it up for me to see.  “This one is cute.  Don’t you think?” she said, once again grinning all too broadly.
     Once again my knees went momentarily weak as I saw the colorful childish designs printed all over that plastic baby bottle.  And why did it have to stand out so much from our other groceries when she put it in the cart?
     I can’t tell you how happy I was to finally get out of there and back to the car…where I had to stand outside in the cold – without my coat, and put all those groceries into the trunk.  Only then did Joanna hand me my coat to put back on…while she started digging through the bags I had just loaded into the car.  She finally found what she was looking for, and I saw her pull out that package of pacifiers.  Right there in the parking lot she opened the package and pulled one of them out…and stuck it in my mouth.  “Much better,” she declared.  And then she held her camera up and took my picture with that stupid thing in my mouth. 
     The moment we got back into her car, she texted the picture to Ashley.  I had to ride home feeling far more embarrassed than ever, because I just knew that every driver on the road that passed us could see that silly pacifier in my mouth.  I felt…stupid.  I felt…embarrassed as hell.  I felt…so turned on it was ridiculous.  How long would it be before bedtime when I could do something about it?  Far too long!

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     Strangely, I was surprised to see that Chris was still there when we got home.  I had to pull all the groceries out of the car and carry them into the kitchen, but it was a while before I had a chance to actually do that.  The minute I got home, I had to stand in the living room and show both Ashley and Chris the silly pacifier stuck in my mouth.  Ashley laughed and crowed about it.  And then she made my life even worse.  “From now on,” Ashley said, “whenever you’re not at work, I want that pacifier in your mouth.  I want you sucking on it like a baby, and staying quiet!”  She and Chris laughed heartily at that, while I’m sure my face went red with embarrassment again.  Or was that anger at this new affront.  No, it was mostly embarrassment.  And once again I wondered how long it would be before I could relieve myself by humping my bed.
      “Now get those clothes off so we can see your diaper,” Ashley ordered quickly.  “You know the rules, I want to see that thing all the time.  And it better be wet already!” she added menacingly…right before she laughed again.  Heavy hearted, I headed for my bedroom. 
     Exposed diapers, and those high heels.  My new life.  Oh yeah, and now a pacifier all the time too.  And I had signed up for this?  Yeah.  I had.  And as much as I hated it.  As much as it worried me.  As much as it kept my stomach tied up in knots.  It still stimulated me all too much.  I had signed up for this.  For this and anything else they threw at me.  And they delighted in making me feel silly and humiliated.  And I….  I hated…and loved every minute of it.  I was sick.  Sick in the head.  Even my neighbors knew that now.  And there was nothing I could do about it.  I had signed up for this…and more.