Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Winds of Chaos – My Second Published Book

 I’ve gone and done it again!  I published another book (sort of).  Again, it’s an EBook available through Amazon.  This is a new one called, “The Winds of Chaos.”  And again, like “Second Life, Second Chance,” this is another transgender novel.  Although that is the ONLY thing these two stories have in common.  These are two very different stories.  

So what’s The Winds of Chaos about?  I guess that’s a fair question.

Mathew Montclair is an ex-Marine and a big hero in every sense of the word.  But all his life, Mat has felt wrong about himself and has tried to run from it.  He’s tried to hide his problem by becoming the exact opposite of the person he always felt he was on the inside – a woman.  Now, after being wounded in battle and gaining one of the worst cases of PTSD the doctors have seen in some time, he’s decided to leave the Marines and become the person he always thought he should be. 

His plans were to go home, see his family, then disappear so no one will have to put up with the strain and embarrassment of what he’s going to do.  But despite all of Mat’s best planning, things didn’t exactly work out the way he wanted.  Despite what he wanted to do with his life, destiny is something that simply won’t be denied.  Because Fate needed a hero.  And Fate chose Mat.

It may not be that way for you, but it is my hope, that somewhere along the line, you will get so caught up in the story that you will forget you are reading a transgender novel, and in the end, it will leave you absolutely breathless!  If not, then I still hope you enjoy it.

Should you read the story and at least feel it’s worth someone else taking the time to read, please leave a comment about it on Amazon so that others can gain from your experience.

Oh, just one other thing.  Like most of my stories, The Winds of Chaos didn’t start with an idea or a story plot.  It started with words.  Words that seemingly don’t have much to do with the story.  But the story grew out of those words.  Before there was the book.  Before there was the concept.  Before there was even a main character, the story started with a poem in my head:

The Spider of Fate

The spider of fate clung tight to its web
While the cruel Winds of Chaos blew its artwork to shreds.
When the winds ended and the spider could see
The fates that were altered were hard to believe.

Strands torn asunder and shifted around
Strands wrapped in each other where chaos abounds.
And out in the distance where beauty should thrive
Some strands were ended, and so would those lives.

The web was in tatters, the grand plan was gone
And lives sorely altered would end before long.
The web needed mending, a new plan conceived.
No time could be wasted, too many would grieve.

A hero was needed, a soul brave and true
To carry the load of a burden so cruel.
To carry the burden, but also the blame
For to save all those lives he must live in shame.

Only by being the target of spite
The hero could help them and make them unite.
Only by being an object of hate
Could anyone save them and alter their fate.

“Fate” is a spider that spins fantastic unimaginable webs from the silky strands of everyone’s lives.  The glorious artistic webs that it creates cannot be imagined by mere mortals.  Mere mortals could never appreciate the true beauty of the webs that are spun.  
Around and around fate goes as it creates its amazing webs, wrapping the strands of life in ways that only it can know.  Each time the strands touch another, new changes are brought into those lives; changes that represent the spider’s beautiful grand artistic plan.
Fate has but one enemy, one thing alone that can disrupt the amazing beauty of its complicated webs.  And that thing isn’t even anything sentient.  It is nothing but a storm.  A storm of cosmic winds that blow with nothing guiding them.  Blowing here, blowing there, blowing anywhere their unseen course may take them.  And in their path, the winds leave nothing but change and disaster.  For these winds are the Winds of Chaos.  Pure chaos, leaving unimaginable disturbances everywhere they touch.  These winds, and these winds alone, can disrupt the spider’s grand scheme for everyone.  For nothing, not even the Spider of Fate, can resist the touch of Chaos.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

The McComber Switch - Chapter 50 Part 4 of 4

The McComber Switch
By Karen Singer

Chapter 50 Part 4 of 4 – Shooting and Hitting
March 21st

The minute she got into the house, Jasmine hurried to her room and closed the door.  She didn’t want to talk to anybody.  She didn’t want to even see anyone.  She just wanted to be by herself.  Her eye still hurt and she took a minute to examine it closely in the mirror.  It was all black and blue.  Ugh!  Ugly.  Just like the rest of her body.
With a sigh, she stood up and looked at herself in the full length mirror.  She was supposed to be a girl today, yet all she could see in the mirror was another boy.  She took her jacket off and threw it on the bed.  Removing the jacket helped display the tiny bumps on her chest more…that she knew all too well were totally fake.  The pretty sweater top she had worn was still pretty, but that was about the only thing about her that was.
Turning away from her mirror in disgust, she looked up at all the dolls on the walls.  Her eyes fell to her one special doll.  She went over and carefully pulled it down, cradling it in her arms.  “Hi Lucy,” she said ever so softly.  “Did you miss me?”
She again sat up on the bed with the doll in her arms.  She moved a pillow behind her back so she could be more comfortable.  “Elliot won the shooting match today,” she told the doll.  “You should have seen him.  He was great!  But there were other things that happened today that weren’t so great. 
“Remember Jimmy?  No, I haven’t introduced you to him yet, and I’m not going to.  You’re my baby, not his…no matter how much he looks like a girl now and I don’t anymore.  I’m still your mommy, my baby, and I always will be.  Well, anyway, some boy was hitting on him today.  Do you believe it?  He was dressed as a boy, but the other guy still thought he was a girl.  And the guy squeezed Jimmy’s boob!”  She laughed a bit.  “You should have seen that poor sucker jump.”  Her soft spoken tone became more somber.  “Why couldn’t it have been me that the boy was interested in?  Why couldn’t he have felt one of my boobs, baby?  He was pretty cute.  I could have handled it a lot better than my stupid brother did.  But nobody looked at me that way today, nobody at all.  The boys all looked at the other girls like that, but nobody looked at me.  And I’m afraid my baby, that they all thought I was a boy again, even though I wasn’t.  And because of that, your mommy got in some trouble again. 
“I’ve got a black eye now, Lucy.  I got into a fight with some stupid jerk of a boy who called me girly.  Yeah, I know it was stupid and I shouldn’t have, but I just couldn’t help it.  I’ve told you before how I get all these feelings sometimes that I still can’t control.  They’re not nearly as bad as they used to be, but sometimes...I just can’t seem to stop myself.  And so I guess I started a fight when I shouldn’t have.  And now I’ve got a black eye to show for it, and I’m pretty sure I’m in deep trouble again because of it. 
“It was just one bad thing after another for me.  All day today.  Nichole and the other girls all saw the hairs on my face today.  Those stupid hormones they stick in me are starting to make me have hairs on my face now.  It’s just one more way to make me look uglier than I already am.  I can’t tell you how much I hate it.  How much I hate all of it!  But I don’t think there’s much I can do about any of it anymore, my baby.  I don’t think anything at all can change things for me anymore. 
“I’m ugly now.  I don’t look like a girl at all anymore.  I hate it so much!  I’m sorry I’m not pretty anymore like I used to be, but there’s nothing at all I can do about it.  And even if I decide to quit hunting, I don’t think that will help make things any better anymore either.  You see, Grandma had a little talk with me today.  Actually, I guess we had a big talk.  She was mean to me, my baby.  She was really mean!  She said things just to be cruel I think.  But one of the things she kept telling me was that I didn’t deserve to be a girl anymore.  She doesn’t even want me to be a girl anymore.  She want’s my dumb brother instead.  Not me!  She just thinks I don’t deserve to be a girl anymore at all.  What does she know!  I’m a girl now, and I always will be!”
Jasmine took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  Events of the day ran though her head.  Events from the past ran through her head.  So many things, and it seemed like the only good things she could think of were the times when she got to go hunting.  They were the only times she could remember anymore when she got to enjoy herself.  Except…she wasn’t enjoying herself then, she was enjoying himself.  She only got to enjoy things when she was a boy now. 
She was ugly.  She had hairs growing out of her face.  The only times she got to enjoy anything at all were when she got to go hunting.  Nobody seemed to want her as a girl anymore.  Nobody!  She sat with her eyes closed and thought about those things for a long time.  When she opened her eyes again, there were tears in them.
She looked down at the lifelike doll in her arms.  “I love you, my baby.  I love you so very much baby Lucy.  But mommy’s got to go away for a while.  Maybe for a very long time.  But I promise, you, I’ll be back.  I promise, baby Lucy.  I promise!” 
She hugged the doll and kissed its face, long and tenderly.   She got up from the bed and just as tenderly put the doll back on the shelf.  She sat down at her desk and looked hard at her face in the mirror.  So ugly.  Not a pretty girl’s face anymore.  The one black eye just looked awful.  It still hurt, but not as much.  She grabbed a wipe and gingerly removed the bit of eye makeup she had managed to put on it that morning.  The makeup color came off on the wipe, but it didn’t seem to change the color of her eye at all.  Since she had removed the makeup from the one eye, she removed it from her other eye as well.  It was all the makeup she’d had time for that morning. 
Her hand reached out and grabbed the nail polish remover and a few minutes later, her fingernails were free of the pretty color.  She removed her shoes and socks and the color on her toes was removed as well.  She left her shoes and socks off. 
She stood up and looked at herself in the big mirror again.  She was wearing a pretty sweater top, but she still looked like a boy.  Too much like a boy.  She went back to her doll again and reached up, grabbing one of the tiny lifelike hands.  “Bye-bye, my baby Lucy.  Mommy will always love you.”
Turning, she headed for her door.  She stopped for a long moment to take a few deep breaths and to find the courage and determination for what she had to do.  The determination wasn’t hard to find at all, it was mixed right in there with a ton of anger.  The courage was another matter. 
Moving now, she didn’t pause at all as she quickly opened her bedroom door.  The door to her brother’s room was open and he was in there at his desk looking at his computer.  She didn’t care what he was doing.  She marched straight into his room without saying a word.  She saw him turn his head as she went straight to him.
“What?” Jimmy asked seeing his sister angrily stomping toward him.
Jasmine didn’t say a word until she had grabbed him by his shirt and was already pulling him up and out of his chair.  “Up!” she commanded as she continued to pull on him. 
“What the heck are you doing?” Jimmy yelled as he got to his feet – mostly in self-defense.
Jasmine pulled on him for a moment, pulling him right across the floor.  Halfway to the door, she spun him around, nearly throwing him down in the process, but she held him up and then started pushing.
“What are you doing?” Jimmy yelled in alarm as his sister literally pushed him toward the door.
“Out!” Jasmine finally said to him.  “Get out of my room and stay out!”
Jimmy couldn’t believe the strength his sister seemed to have.  And he seemed to have none against her.  “Jas!” he yelled. 
“Stay out!” Jasmine screamed loudly as she finally got him through the door.  “Stay out,” she screamed again, “and don’t ever come back in here again!  You stay in your own room from now on.  Not mine!”  With that, she turned and went back to the room with the ducks and the deer head hanging on the wall, and she slammed the door.
Jasmine stood in the hallway, not sure what was going on or what to do. 
“What happened?” Susan called as she literally ran down the hallway.
“She just threw me out of my own room.  Bodily!  And I mean she really threw me!” 
“What’s happening?” Clint asked as he too ran down the hall. 
“Jas just literally threw me out of my room and told me not to go in there anymore.”
Just then, the door to the room that Jasmine was in, opened.  Jasmine saw everyone standing there, but it was no more than what she expected…and wanted.  She threw Cleo at Jimmy.  “And keep your stupid stuffed animals out of my room too!” she yelled.  Once again, she slammed the bedroom door.  She figured that should to get the point across.
Susan didn’t delay.  She headed straight into the bedroom.  “Jasmine!  What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Switching us around again.  Permanently!”
“You can’t!”
“I already did, and I mean it,” Jasmine replied.  “I can’t go back to being a girl again – maybe never!”
“Jasmine,” Clint said, “you know perfectly well that all you have to do is quit hunting and you’ll be a girl again.”
“No!” Jasmine exclaimed angrily.  “The only times I have any fun at all is when I’m hunting now.  I’m not switching back to being a girl again.  Let the stupid sap out in the hall be me now.  I’m done with it.  From now on, this is who I am.”
Susan shook her head.  “How hard can you fight something before you finally give in, Jas?  Huh?  Jas, you can’t…”
“Don’t call me Jas anymore!  My name is Joe from now.”
Susan got mad.  “I had two twins and I named them Jasmine and Jimmy.  Your name is not Joe!”
“Then call me Jimmy Joe for all I care, but don’t call me Jasmine anymore.  I’m not Jasmine anymore, and I don’t want to be!”
Susan stared at her hard, then shook her head.  She looked up at her husband.  “Maybe it’s for the best now.  Everyone keeps telling me neither of them can really pass that well as themselves anymore.  So maybe it’s time to just keep them this way.”
Clint thought about it for a moment.  “Jas, please quit hunting.  Please.  Soon!”
“I’m not Jasmine anymore, Dad.  I’m Jimmy Joe.  And I’m staying Jimmy Joe.”