Saturday, May 30, 2009

This And That

Yesterday was a mostly “nothing-happened” day. Mostly. I hadn’t slept much the night before and was monstrously tired. That coupled with a really busy day at work had me exhausted by the time I got home. I would up falling asleep on the couch. I had to make a quick run to Wal-Mart to get a few things for this weekend, then I went home and slept very soundly all night long – and late.

I do have one or two things to mention though. To answer one question, no, I didn’t wear a bra to work – but I will have to do that starting next week. I did wear the bra to Wal-Mart though and I was worried about it being seen the entire time. I wound up putting on a t-shirt under my regular shirt to help disguise things a bit more. Now I have several bras, but only one that I feel will work under my male clothes. And still, if I look closely enough, I can see faint little bulges in the front. It’s hard for me to really tell if anyone can see something across my back and shoulders that could only be from a bra. I sure hope nobody notices. Just wearing that alone made me feel like an incredible sissy.

All this extra padding in my diapers with the soakers and the cloth diapers are starting to really get to me (in a good way). Just wearing one disposable, with a cloth diaper on under it and a soaker in the middle has me waddling a bit – before I pee in it the first time. After that, it only gets worse. I have a lot of things I have to do today, the first few will keep me in public. It’s something I be worried about for sure – plus my bra showing. Question, how do you deal with falling bra straps when you’re a guy trying to not let anybody know you’re wearing a bra?

Today was supposed to be a baby girl day for me. I rented four little girl videos to watch just for the occasion. I don’t know that I’m going to get that day today or not. I asked Mistress Gina for a special favor to do the day tomorrow instead since I have so much male stuff I need to get done today. I hope so. As it is, since it’s too early as of now to hear from her, I ate my baby food breakfast which was really a banana blended up with a little milk. Now let me tell you, I really like bananas, but what came out of the blender didn’t look all that appetizing to me. I poured it into a bowel and ate it with my rubber coated baby spoon while watching a little girl cartoon on TV. Let me tell you, I felt like such a baby – and it was such a turn on! The milk I had mixed with the banana had cut the flavor by a lot, but it was still ok. Unfortunately, between my diapers and this little chastity device I’m wearing, the closest I can come to getting hard is to think about it, and that’s it. I wanted to just “push” my cum out of me like I was peeing. Unfortunately, that’s impossible. Sigh! I don’t know if it was the bananas or not, but I didn’t feel any urge to mess my diapers till after I ate, but then a few minutes later, wham! There wasn’t much holding it back – and naturally the bathroom is totally off limits to me. But that’s nothing new.

Well, I have a busy day to get started on now. What will it bring me? I know I’ll be searching for every bit of pleasure amidst the toil that I can find. Will you?


Friday, May 22, 2009

Another Adventure Coming

It looks like I'll be adventuring starting next Monday again. Stay tuned!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

I Don't Miss It

Like so many others, I’m a complete closet case. The only times I get to express my inner self are the few times when my wife goes away for a few days.

But do I miss all the dressing and playing and excitement? Not a bit!

I don’t miss looking down and seeing the sensual smooth shape of a pretty shoe curving around my toes and hugging my foot, encasing my foot, transforming my foot. I don’t miss seeing the long shape of an elegant heel extending down from the bottom of my foot. I don’t miss the feel of high heels as I walk - forcing my steps to be more careful, more elegant, more feminine.

Do I miss it? Not a bit!

I don’t miss the smooth sensual feel of stockings as they caress my legs, encasing my legs in their web of delight. Making my legs look smoother, more shapely, sexier. Making me feel smoother, prettier, more like myself.

I don’t miss it, not at all.

I don’t miss the joy of wearing skirts, their varying styles either granting me unencumbered freedom or comforting restriction, or any of the ranges in-between. I don’t miss their playful hems tickling my legs wherever they happen to fall. I don’t miss their many styles and colors allowing me to express myself differently with every mood that I feel: playful, reserved, flirty, business-like, casual, sexy.

How could anyone miss something like that?

I don’t miss wearing pretty blouses and tops, or having a myriad variety of fabrics to choose from to cover my body. Blouses and tops that come in a seemingly endless variety of shapes that can cover everything… or almost nothing. Blouses that come in an endless variety of colors and patterns to match any mood or occasion. Blouses that are elegant, or trashy, or restrictive, or comfortable. Their never ending variety enabling me to mix and match and remix and rematch my clothes to my heart’s content.

How could I possibly miss that?

I don’t miss wearing makeup in the least. I don’t miss being able to at least attempt to transform my face into something more pleasing, less plain… maybe even approaching pretty. I don’t miss playing with the colors or textures, I don’t miss smelling the fragrances against my skin or tasting the lipstick on my lips. I don’t miss changing my face from boring and washed-out and monochrome to something more colorful and interesting and alive.

So sue me, I just don’t miss it.

I don’t miss wearing pretty jewelry. I don’t miss having pretty earrings dangling from my ears, or sparkling gems hanging from my neck or bangly bracelets encircling my wrists. I don’t miss their sparkle, playfully reflecting the light into someone’s eyes, adding interest to my vision, making me feel pretty, confident, feminine.

No, that’s not something I could ever miss.

I don’t miss wearing perfume. I don’t miss having that subtle scent surrounding me, transforming me into a pleasing breath of fresh air to anyone who happens to come near. I don’t miss having a scent that could make others smile and implant a positive, pleasing attitude toward me in their heads.

No, I don’t miss that at all.

I don’t miss having pretty hair that I can play with and style in ever changing ways. Hair that I can decorate with ribbons and hair clips. Hair that can hang loose or be pulled back or up. Hair that can be either straight or curly depending on my mood or whim. Hair that can add so much interest to my face. Hair that I can wrap around my fingers and play with, unconsciously.

I have absolutely no interest in it at all.

And finally, because I have one additional little quirk, I don’t miss the erotic feel and humiliation of being in diapers. I don’t miss their thick padding encasing me, their unforgiving fullness controlling me, their private shame humiliating me - endlessly.

How could I possibly long for something that would make me feel juvenile and controlled? Something that would humiliate me?

These and so much more are things that really have no meaning for me.

So do I miss any of this? Not one bit! …Am I fooling anyone?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Why I Don't Shave My Legs

Yeah, I know, shame on me! I’d love to shave my legs. In fact I’d love to shave my whole body. Strike that! That’s not quite an accurate statement. Rather – I’d love for my legs and my entire body to be completely hairless and smooth from the eyebrows down. Now that’s a much more accurate statement.

So why don’t I just shave it all? Well, there are other factors involved here. And I’ll bet that I’m not alone in some of these.

First of all, you’ve got to understand that I’m an extremely hairy beast. Almost my entire body is covered with very, very thick hair. And I hate it all. I think I shed almost as much as my dog does – sometimes more. And I hate that too. So why don’t I shave it?

Most men often wear shorts in the summertime. I rarely ever do. I rarely ever even wear them out in my own backyard, or even in the house. That stupid thick hair that covers my body… well, every time the slightest breeze blows against it, it feels like bugs crawling on my skin. I hate that. Sometimes, when I’m outside, there really are bugs crawling on me and I can’t really see them through all that stupid hair. I hate that too. So why don’t I shave?

Also, I just plain don’t like the way all that hair looks. Yeah, I know, I’m strange, but it’s true. While most guys like the hair on their bodies, I really don’t care for the way it looks. So why don’t I shave it?

Ok, it’s time to look at the stupid reasons why all that hair is still there.

Stupid reason number 1. My wife likes it. Why? I don’t have a clue. Maybe it makes me look more masculine or something. Personally, I don’t see it. Whenever I ask her why she likes it, she just says she does. It’s not like she touches or rubs it much.

Stupid reason number 2. I’ve always been super hairy, and everybody knows it. Even all the grandkids. We have a pool. They all come to our house to use it. Suddenly being hairless would cause a lot of questions from a lot of family members. I could get past that, but it would probably be better if I didn’t have to.

And the biggie… Stupid reason number 3. I did shave my legs once, many years ago when I was still single. It took me hours (believe it or not) to shave just my legs. They were nice and smooth. I was very surprised to find that my skin felt more like leather than anything else and not nearly as nice as I had hoped. But still it was nice… for exactly 30 minutes. Almost exactly 30 minutes after I had finished shaving my legs, the pain set in; the pain from the constant pin-like pricks of all those hairs growing back out. I couldn’t believe it had lasted such a short time. But the painful pin-pricks lasted a full three months till the hairs had grown back in long enough to be soft again. Every time I tried to put my legs together (and they constantly rubbed against each other at the top), those little pin like hairs would stick me – and there were lots of them. Every time I moved – like walking or sitting – those tiny pin like hairs would let me know it as they scratched against the fabric of my pants. It’s absolutely unbelievable how much each of those hairs acted just like a nerve ending. Everything they touched felt like pain. The worst though was when my legs got too close together and the pin pricks from both legs forced me to keep them apart. Not comfortable, believe me.

A couple of hours to shave my legs, 30 minutes of leather-like skin, and three of the most painful months I can remember. Trust me, the experience has imprinted on my brain a very real dread of actually shaving my legs – or the rest of me either.

I’ve often thought about going for laser treatments and I’m not at all afraid of that kind of pain. But they’re expensive and I’ve still got the first couple of reasons to consider too.

Now here’s a stupid little joke. Lately, I’ve noticed that all the hair around my ankles has diminished to almost nothing. I guess my socks have worn it all away sort of permanently (unless I’m going bald around my ankles like I am on the very top of my head). But not the hair on my feet, that all seems to still be there. It’s just my ankles.

So… for the last week or so, I’ve been plucking hairs – kind of like I do to my bushy eyebrows once in a while. I’m just doing this every day. I pluck a couple of hairs from both ankles or feet. Then I grab a couple from each shoulder, and then two or three from my chest. Why? I’m kind of hoping that losing a few hairs over a real long time won’t be noticed as much. Since I’m plucking them out, maybe they won’t grow back quite as fast or as strong as before. And, I keep thinking that the next time I get to play, that it might be nice to look down and see a little less hair through my stockings or around my shoulders and chest. Does that sound as desperate to you as it does to me? Don’t answer that! Oh the stupid mental games we all play. I guess this is just my latest.

Anyway, that’s why I don’t shave my body. Now watch, I’ll figure out a way to make it happen despite these reasons. I’m thinking about it.

Dream big y’all.