Friday, February 23, 2018

Mister Mike - Chapter 12 – Part 1 of 2

The Domination of Mister Mike
By Karen Singer

Chapter 12 – Part 1 of 2

     Fool, buffoon, nitwit, clown, idiot, jerk, moron, asshole…the names I had for myself went on and on.  None of them were kind in any way at all, but I mentally referred to myself with them liberally. 
     My feet were absolutely killing me again because I was stuck in those five-inch heels.  It’s amazing how much you can absolutely long to do nothing more than bend your toes once in a while.  It had only been since the day before, but after spending another rather agonizing night stuck in those shoes again, I was almost ready to tell Ashley I’d do anything at all, no matter what, just for the chance to bend my toes for just a single minute.  I was that desperate!
     But as bad as my feet were, they were only part of my problem.  I was still stuck in the same diaper from the day before because Ashley thought it was funny to see me wearing it until it started leaking.  Have you any idea how uncomfortable it is to have that much bulk stuck between your legs?  Yes, okay, it did fuel much of my morning humping exercises, but once I got past that, it was nothing but uncomfortable and aggravating.  I certainly couldn’t walk even close to normally.  And the constant rubbing and pressure against my legs was beyond annoying. 
     I asked Ashley the moment she got up…I begged her the moment she got up, to let me out of those shoes.
      “No way!” she laughed.  “Not till you have to go to work.”
      “How about my diaper, can I please take it off now?”
      “Are you kidding?  Forget it!  You’re not going without a diaper.”
      “Then can I at least change it?”
      “Is it leaking?”
     I double checked.  “Not yet, but I’m sure it will soon.”
      “Then you don’t get to change it.  Not till it’s leaking and I say you can.
      “But I need a shower…bad!”
      “Tough!” she giggled.  “You can wash yourself off the way you help me every morning instead.”  Then she laughed again.  “I think that’s only fair.  If I can’t take a bath, then why should you?”
     The girl was absolutely infuriating!  And then she made it even worse!
      “I wonder,” she said, a little too slyly as I was helping her get settled in her chair, “if that diaper will start leaking first, or if you’ll mess in it first.”
      “Mess in it!”
      “Of course!  Don’t think you’re going to be allowed to take it off for that!  You don’t take it off till I say you can!”
     I had a thought.  “If I mess in it, do I get to finally change it?”
      “Not until it starts leaking.”
      “But it will smell!”
      “Of course.  And that’s going to make you even funnier!”
     Darn girl!  I went straight into the kitchen and fixed myself a cup of coffee – and drank the whole thing as fast as I could, just to help me pee sooner – so I could get out of that diaper sooner.  How much were those diapers supposed to hold anyway?  I was sure I had passed that point ages ago.  The last batch of diapers I had bought certainly wouldn’t have been this much of a problem!
     Fortunately, shortly after finishing that cup of coffee, I did manage to pee again, and my diaper did finally leak a little.  But Ashley had to double check it to see it for herself.  And of course she took the opportunity to grope my diaper all too thoroughly while she did it. 
      “Are you comfortable in that thing?” she asked with a giggle.
      “No!  It’s awful!”
     She laughed.  “Get used to it!  ‘Cause I absolutely love seeing you stuck in it.  And the way you have to waddle around everywhere is totally hilarious.”
      “Can I please go change now?”
     Fortunately, she agreed.  Not only that, I got permission to clean myself up as best I could, and then find a clean blouse to put on.  Just nothing to cover up my diaper.  I was grateful, but what I really wanted was a good hot shower…not to mention getting out of those darn heels!  I did take a few minutes though to sit on the toilet so hopefully messing in a diaper wouldn’t be one of those issues I’d have to deal with.  I just didn’t bother telling her that.

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

     It was shortly after lunch when I heard the sound that sent a shiver through my spine.  “Mister Miiiiike.” 
     Ugh!  I hurried out to the living room to see what Ashley wanted. 
      “What are you doing?”
     What I was doing was hiding in my room, but I couldn’t tell her that.  “Changing the sheets on my bed,” I lied.
      “Oh.  Forget that for now.  I need you to start cleaning up in here…and the kitchen too.  In fact anywhere that guests might see.”
      “Guests?”  The very word frightened me to death.
      “Yeah.  A bunch of my friends are coming over.”  Then she laughed.  “It’ll be like a party!”
     A party?  I was guessing it was going to be more like a torture fest for me.  “When are they coming?”
      “Whenever they get here.  Probably soon.  So start cleaning up the place.”
     Actually the place wasn’t bad at all.  The only real mess was where Ashley was sitting.  But I didn’t bother mentioning it.  I looked around and didn’t see much of anything I needed to pick up or clean, so I headed back to my bedroom to hide again.
      “Where are you going?”
      “Uh…to clean the bathroom, of course.”
      “Yeah!  Good idea!”
     I had already picked up the bathroom earlier, and I was quite sure that none of her friends would notice if it was clean or not.  I went back to my bedroom to hide…and worry.
     Not ten minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring.  She didn’t really expect me to answer it dressed the way I was, did she?
      “Mister Miiiike!  Get the door!”
     Obviously, she did.  With a sigh, I headed for the front door, trying my best to brace myself for the oncoming onslaught. 
      “Hurry!” I heard her yell.
     In these heels…when they were killing me?  Besides, I didn’t want to open that door at all.  In fact when I got to it, I stopped and stared at the darn thing. 
     And then the doorbell rang again.  But I still didn’t want to open it.
      “What the hell are you doing?  Open the door!”
     Yeah.  Right.  Despite how much I didn’t want to, my hand reached out and turned the lock.  And I pulled the door open.  There were four of Ashley’s friends there.  None of which I knew.  Three girls, two of whom screamed all too delighted at the sight of me, and one guy who just looked surprised.  And once again I wondered how I was managing to remain standing – in those five-inch heels.
      “Come in!  Come in!” I heard Ashley yell from the living room. 
     Like it or not, I stood back out of the way.  They came in, but not far.  They all stopped just inside to keep gawking at me while I closed the door.
      “God!  I can’t believe it!” one of them said.
      “Come in!” Ashley yelled from the living room.  “Come in here where we can talk!”
They went, but it was slowly.  Most of them continuing to look at me where I stood by the door instead of watching where they were going.  A minute later though, they were all in the living room, excitedly talking with each other. 
     I headed for the bedroom to hide again, but the doorbell rang the very moment I walked in there.
      “Mister Miiiike!”
     Yeah, yeah.  I didn’t bother saying it.  It was humiliation time again.
     This time, there were three kids out there.  Two girls and one boy.  At least the number was going down.  They gawked.  They laughed.  They came in and gawked some more.  And Ashley yelled for them to join the others in the living room. 
     Before I took even one step away from the door.  I heard someone else approaching.  I opened the door before they rang the bell.  Two kids this time.  One boy and one girl.  Yes, the number was definitely declining each time.  But one of those kids I had met before.
      “Hi Mister Mike,”
     Yes, it’s major embarrassing when someone you’ve met before sees you in the condition I was presently in.  “Hi Amanda,” I replied to Ashley’s best friend.  “Come on in.”
     She didn’t introduce the guy she was with, and I was glad.  I’d probably never remember his name anyway.
      “Amanda!  Jimmy!” Ashley called from the living room.  “Come on!”
     Jimmy.  Not that I really felt I needed to know his name.
     Maybe I should just stand there at the door.  The number of kids each time had gone down.  Which meant there should still be one more coming.  But the doorbell didn’t ring, so I headed back to the bedroom – to hide again.  I was back there for a good five minutes, when I heard that darn doorbell ring again.  The one late kid – obviously. 
      “Mister Miiike!”
     I didn’t bother answering her.  I headed for the door.  And got a shock when I opened it.  Not one kid, but five.  Three girls and two boys.  I was glad I didn’t know any of them…and I sincerely hoped I’d never see any of them again. 
      “My God!  What took you?” Ashley yelled as the new group came in.
     They were too busy checking me out to answer Ashley. 
      “Guys!  Come on in!” Ashley yelled.  “We’ve got lots to discuss!”
     They finally went, but slowly.  My living room was stuffed with people.  Most of whom I had never met, and didn’t really want to meet.  I headed for the bedroom again – to hide.
      “Mike!  Get over here.”  Ugh!
     I went into the now mobbed living room.  Everyone was staring at me. 
      “See!” Ashley told them.  “See where the design is missing from his diaper.  The wetter he gets, the more those designs disappear.”  She laughed.  “You should have seen the diaper he woke up in this morning.  The designs were totally gone, and it was so bulky, I don’t know how he walked in it.”
     The kids were laughing at me again.  And I know my face was red with embarrassment.  But once again, the one thing I was the most aware of was the tingling need in my sexual region.  How long before bedtime when I could scratch that need?
     Since the kids were all talking, I tried to duck out of the way…and out of the room, but Ashley noticed and called me back.  I had no choice but to stand there, all too close to all of them, and do nothing but show myself off while they talked about me.  The two biggest subjects of course were my shoe locks and my wet diaper.  I don’t know how many of them tugged on my shoes to try to remove them.  A few of the guys actually hurt me a little as they pulled too hard.  But unfortunately, I had bought about the strongest shoe locks I could find – at the time, just for my own amusement, and of course, those shoes I was wearing weren’t going anywhere. 
     When the subject came up, a few of them actually grabbed and felt my wet diaper – all over!  And that included two of the guys.  Let me tell you, that was uncomfortable to try to stand still for!  And of course, the subject of my fake breasts came up, for which I had to remove my top, remove my bra, let them pass the birdseed forms all around the room, then get dressed again. 
     Fortunately, they moved on to the subject of the agreement we had all signed, and as Ashley passed a copy of the thing around the room for all of them to read and examine, I ducked out again.  I was relieved when nobody seemed to care.  They were all wrapped up in their own business…for a while. 
      “Mister Miiike.  Where are you?”
     Here we go again!  I clomped my way back to the living room.
      “Nope!” one of the guys said as I walked in.  “I think it still looks the same.”
     I realized he was talking about my diaper. 
      “Let me see!” another of the girls said.  She came over and felt my diaper, and examined it closely.  “Nope,” she agreed.  “I think it’s still the same.”
      “Wet yourself,” Ashley ordered.
     I was shocked.  “What?  Now?”
      “Now!” Ashley repeated.  “I want them to see those silly baby designs disappear.”
      “Um…but I don’t…”
      “Then just stand there until you can.  And you better tell us just before you do it, or I really will send you to the store just like that!”
     Have I mentioned before that I hated my new life?  I stood there trying to pee.  Or rather working up the nerve to pee in front of them, because I did have to pee.  I just didn’t want to do it with them all looking – even though that’s exactly what I was supposed to do.  Life is funny the way it sends you little problems like that. 
      “So that’s everything that he has?” I heard one of the girls ask.
      “Oh no!” Ashley replied.  “He’s got a whole drawer full of stuff, and half his closet too!”
      “Then what else does he have?” another of the girls asked.  “We’ve seen this on him.  What else is there?”
     Ashley laughed.  “He’s got more panties in his drawer than most of us put together!”
      “I want to see!” Amanda declared.
     I didn’t really want them all digging through me drawers and my closet.  As bad as things were, that was still all my private stuff.  “Um…I’m going to…”
      “Hey!” Ashley suddenly yelled.  “He’s getting ready to wet himself!”  All eyes turned to me…or rather to the front of my diaper.  “Okay Mister Mike.  We’re waiting.”
     When I was growing up, and imagining what my grownup life would be like, this was not ever even close to anything on that list! 
      “Is he doing it?” someone asked.
     Hating myself, I stood in front of all of them and let loose inside my diaper.  I felt the warm pee rushing out, surrounding me somewhat, and immediately sinking down into the bottom of my diaper.  The diaper suddenly felt not only wetter, but heavier.  As the pee quickly got absorbed into the material it became bulkier.
      “Is anything happening?” someone asked.  “Is he doing it?”
      “Yes!” one of the girls suddenly squealed.  “Look!  Some of the designs are disappearing again.”
     It’s amazing how fast that many kids can crowd around someone.  In this case, me.  My diaper not only got looked at, it got felt all too firmly by what seemed like a hundred different hands. 
      “So now he has to change it?” one of the girls asked.
      “Nope!” Ashley proclaimed happily.  “Not until he gets that thing to leak.”
      “How long will that take?”
      “Probably a long time!” she told them.
      “Hey,” one of the girls asked.  “Now can we see what else he has?”
     That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  I had gone ahead and peed into my diaper, just to get them to forget about that.
      “Yeah,” Ashley said, somewhat uncertainly.  “But I can’t go.  I’ve got to sit down.”
      “Can’t you sit on his bed or something?” one of the guys asked.
     She brightened.  “Yeah.  I can do that.  Someone give me a hand.”
     Two of the guys not only helped her out of her chair, they left her crutch behind as they both supported her all the way back to my room and helped her sit up on my bed.  I followed them all back to my room, although I really wanted to be going somewhere else – away from all of them.  Now my room was positively packed.  Amanda was already opening my top drawer by the time I got in there.
      “Not that one!” Ashley told Amanda.  “He’s got everything in his bottom drawer.”
     Amanda quickly closed my top drawer and pulled my bottom drawer way out.  She removed the sweatshirts I had piled on top of everything.  “God!” she exclaimed.  “He really does have a lot of panties.  Look at these!”  She started pulling them out – all of them, and passing them all off to one of the girls, who passed them around.  In moments, my entire panty collection was going from one set of hands to another, all over my room. 
      “These are gorgeous!” one of the girls proclaimed with a laugh.  “I don’t have anything like this.”
      “They’re all frilly and lacy!” another girl said.
      “Fancy!” another one agreed.
      “There’s not a plain pair in the bunch,” a third girl added.
     That was my panty collection.  But since I bought them for my own fun and amusement, why the heck would I buy a plain pair.  That wouldn’t be as much fun.  I now noticed my other two bras were being passed around the room.  My one pair of black pantyhose, my pair of pantyhose that now had a run in them – thanks to Ashly, and my one new pair that I hadn’t had a chance to wear yet.  My plastic bag full of makeup was going around between the girls who each dug through it to see what was in there.  And finally my pink nightgown was out in the room. 
     I hated them going through my private things.  I hated even more that they were all examining everything.  And I mostly hated the sexual need I was once again feeling in my groin as I stood there letting them touch everything that had been my private sexy toys – while wearing locked-on five-inch heels and a bulky wet diaper.
     And then Amanda asked, “Where’s the rest of his stuff?”
      “In his closet,” Ashley reminded her. 
     Amanda of course headed straight for my closet.  Everything I had in there, my two dresses, my three skirts, my two other blouses, even my high heeled boots got pulled out and passed around among the crowd.  And then Amanda pushed out that big box of diapers Ashley had made me buy.
      “Hey guys,” Amanda said as she got the box out of the closet.  “Look at this.”  She opened the lid of the box so everyone could see.  “Do you think he’s got enough?”
     Everyone laughed. 
      “Hey!  I want to see him wear something else!” one of the girls shouted.  Her request was echoed all over the room.
      “Sure,” Ashley agreed.  “Whatever you want.  You tell him what to wear, and he has to do it.”  Her words brought more laughter.
      “I want to see him in some of these panties!” Amanda said immediately.
      “No!” Ashley quickly replied, putting a quick stop to that request.  “I want him to wear that diaper until it leaks.
      “But you can see that anytime.  You get to see it all whenever you want,” Amanda countered.  “I want to see him in panties instead.”  Her request was echoed by several other girls.
     Ashly didn’t look happy.  “Okay,” she finally agreed.  “Get that diaper off.”
     Thank you Amanda!  My new hero!  The only problem was, that in taking my diaper off, I’d be exposing myself in front of all of them.  “Uh…can I change in the bathroom?” I asked.
      “No!” Ashley declared quickly.  “You can do it right here in front of all of us.”
     I noticed that brought more than a few surprised looks.  I hesitated, not really wanting to expose myself in front of them.
      “What are you waiting for?” Ashley angrily asked.
      “Just take it off!”  She laughed.  “You know you have to do whatever I tell you to, no matter what!  You don’t have a choice, and we want to see you naked anyway.”
     In other words, Ashley wanted me to expose myself.  Once again I was aware of that darn sexual need.  I started pulling my diaper apart, then off.  And there I was, exposed in front of all of them.  They all looked, mostly with wonder on their faces.  Not wonder at anything special about me, but wonder at the fact that I had just exposed myself in front of them all – at Ashley’s command. 
      “What panties?” one of the girls asked.  Her question was like breaking a spell, they were all suddenly animated again.
      “Hey!” Amanda said quickly.  “Maybe he better clean himself up a bit before he puts the panties on.  He’s been wearing a wet diaper!”
     Some of the kids laughed, but they all agreed – even me.  I gladly went into my bathroom to clean myself off with a washcloth.  The only problem was, all too many of them followed.  Five minutes later, I was wearing a rather frilly and lacy pair of purple panties for all of them to admire to their hearts content.

Tuesday, February 20, 2018

The Domination of Mister Mike - Chapter 11

The Domination of Mister Mike
By Karen Singer

Chapter 11

     The change in Ashley was immediate.  She was literally a kid with a new toy.  Except that I was that toy.  Suddenly she wasn’t angry and morose.  Suddenly she was bubbly and excited instead.  I wasn’t sure which version of her I preferred the best.  But that was mostly because of my present position.
     Within minutes of starting, Ashley sent me back to the closet to don my t-strap heels and then she wanted to watch as I put those darn shoe-locks on right in front of her.  I was now seriously regretting ever buying those things in the first place.  She laughed with every lock that clicked shut, and squealed with delight as she held all the keys.  I simply felt – doomed. 
     Joanna took a few minutes to closely examine those locks now that they were on me.  Like Ashley had done, she unbuckled one of my shoes and tried to tug the shoe off.  I would have been so pleased if she had managed it, but the darn shoe didn’t budge one bit!  “You’re really stuck in those things!” she exclaimed. 
     What can you say to such kind words as that?
     Since Ashley was basically confined to that chair, I had to go back to my room and grab those birdseed breast forms and a bra, carry them back to the living room, and then put them on in front of her.  Joanna wanted to see me in a dress, but Ashley quickly crushed that idea.  She didn’t want anything to block her view of that uncomfortably thick diaper I was wearing.  Instead, Joanna took me back to my closet and picked out the most colorful blouse I had, which in this case was my orange top with embroidery across the bottom of the front.  I would have been happier with one of my dresses like Joanna wanted.  With the dress, at least the embarrassing diaper I was wearing would have been covered.  But it seemed Ashley was finding that diaper all too hilarious. 

      “Don’t you have laundry to do?” Ashley asked, once I had been dressed that far.
     I guess whether I did or I didn’t, I did now.  As I wandered back and forth carrying things between the bedrooms and the laundry room, I caught brief bits of conversations from out in the living room.  And the only reason I heard them was because they had been said all too loudly.
      “But Ashley, if he gets in any kind of trouble by doing that, then that will affect his job.  And I don’t think you want that to happen.”
      “What else is there Mom?”
      “Keep it simple dear.  Especially for now.”
      “But suppose I don’t want to?”
     I stopped dead still trying to hear the answer to that one, it was a moment before it came.
      “Then I just suppose…he’ll have to learn to deal with it.”
     Not an answer I wanted to hear.  I went completely into the laundry room, afraid to hear anymore. 
     And then all too soon I heard Ashley yell, “Mister Mike….  Get your butt out here!”
     I knew right away that I should never have signed that damn agreement.  But I went.  Ashley was looking at me all too delightedly.  Joanna on the other hand, appeared amused, but there was something else on her face as well, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what it meant.
      “I want something from the store,” Ashley told me with too much glee in her voice. 
     I immediately knew that it was something I couldn’t do.  I had no doubt at all that Ashley wanted me to go out in public dressed in some stupid humiliating way.  And it was just something I knew I couldn’t do!  I shook my head, but got no further than that.
      “Mike…” Joanna’s voice cautioned.  “If you’re thinking about using your safe phrase because you think you can’t do it, then think again.  We’ve already discussed that doing things in public is just something you’re going to have to accept and deal with.  And maybe it’s better to get this initial one over with so you can get it behind you and the rest will be easier.”
     Again I shook my head, but again she continued.  “And Mike, if you do try to use your safe phrase, then I can tell you right now that I’ll not only side with Ashley on this, but I’ll be forced to add an additional penalty of some kind on top of having you do this, making things much worse for you.  I don’t think you’d like that very much, would you?”
      “Oh please use your safe phrase,” Ashley practically begged.  “Please!  Tell us what a sissy chicken you really are.”  She turned to her mother.  “Mom, what kind of penalty would you stick him with?”
      “I don’t know yet dear.  I haven’t even considered it.  I only know that I would still have him to this, and then penalize him somehow as well.  So what’s it going to be Mike?  Ashley’s way?  Or mine?”
     It was amazing I was able to continue standing…let alone doing it in those five inch heels.  “What did you want?” I asked.
     Ashly crowed with delight.  “Chocolate ice-cream!”
     I was surprised.  “But it’s winter!  It’s freezing outside!”
      “I don’t care.  I want ice-cream, and I want you to go get it for me.”
     I looked to Joanna, she had that “I dare you not to do it” look on her face.  “Um…can I change?” I asked.  “Please?  Someone might call the police if I show up in just diapers and high heels.”
      “You can put your pants on,” Joanna told me. 
      “Oh Mom!” Ashley complained.
      “Like I said dear, you don’t want him to get into trouble, do you?  Or do you really want him to try going in just that diaper?”
     There was a bit of a staring contest between them, then Ashley backed down.  “No.  Get your pants,” she told me disappointedly. 
     I breathed a sigh of relief, although for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why I should feel relieved at all.
     Don’t forget your coat!” Joanna added as I turned toward the bedroom.
      “Ashley, it’s freezing outside!  He needs a coat!”
     Thank you Joanna.  I think.
     With a great deal of difficulty, I managed to get my pants on over the bulk of that diaper, but if I thought that diaper felt weird before, it was worse now.  How badly did it show under my pants?  I honestly couldn’t tell.  Not that I was sure it would matter.  Not with Ashley…or her mother!  The pants were one thing, but they were made even worse when I put my wallet in my back pocket and my keys in my front pocket.  The feel of that big bulky diaper underneath was just too foreign to me.  Too weird.  How the hell was I going to do this?
     When I came out of my room, I ran into Joanna coming out of Ashley’s bedroom.  She had her coat and purse in her hands.  “I’m coming with you,” she explained. 
     My big hope was that somehow she’d let me stay in the car and she’d go in and buy whatever Ashley wanted.  I hoped that, but I was fairly certain it would never happen.
     With my coat on, the two of us got in my car.  Driving in those heels was not something I was exactly used to, and Joanna seemed to find my difficulty with them to be amusing.  She would!  I knew for a fact that she was finding my entire plight to be amusing!  The damn woman!  But the truth was, who could I really blame except myself?  I was the one who signed that damn agreement.  Willingly!  Or somewhat willingly.  I had serious doubts as to how willingly I had actually done it.  But the temptation….  The allure….  The thrill….  And now look what I was doing!  I will never admit it, but somewhere in the pit of my stomach, my situation had me all too turned on.
     I parked the car, but before I got out she said, “I’m not going to shop with you.”
     That surprised me.  “Then why did you come?”
      “To follow you.”
      “Follow me?”
     She grinned all too big and held up her cell phone.  “And take pictures.”
     I was shocked!  The damn woman!
      “Better get going Mike,” she told me.  “I’ve still got to make dinner when we get home.”
     I sat there contemplating my situation.  Was I really going to do this?  Was I really…”
      “Just do it Mike!” she ordered, interrupting my thoughts.  “Just get out of the car and go!  Whether you like it or not, I have a feeling you’re going to have to get used to little things like this.”
     Little?  She considered this little?
     I opened the door, even though I didn’t want to.  Nervously, I put one high heeled foot down in the slush filled parking lot, then the other, and I got to my feet.  I wanted to immediately jump back into the car and hide!
      “I’ll be somewhere behind you,” she called.
     I somehow closed the car door behind me, but I could barely muster the strength to close it as firmly as I usually did.  Or had I closed it so softly because I didn’t want anyone to hear it and look at me?
     Forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other, I headed for the big grocery store in front of me.  It was Saturday.  Late afternoon.  And the place was packed with people.  I know I was shaking, and it wasn’t from the frigid temperature.  I held my head up as I walked.  Click…click…click….  Why were women’s shoes so noisy?  Even in the slushy parking lot!  Click…click…click…click.  Or was that really clomp…clomp…clomp…clomp?  Definitely clomp! 
     Were people looking at me?  What difference did it make?  I guess it made a lot of difference to me.  The way I felt just then, I might as well have been carrying a big neon sign that said, “Hey everybody, look at me.  See what a big sissy idiot I am!”  But whether they could see that or not, it made no difference, I truly felt like one. 
     My winter coat only came down a little below my waist, but I was hoping that it completely hid the stuffed out bra I was wearing and my colorful orange blouse.  I was far more worried that someone might notice the stupid bulky diaper I had on under my pants.  I really hoped nobody could tell it was there, but I knew that it was all too possible that they could!  And that damn diaper was so bulky between my legs that it was starting to drive me crazy!  Not to mention that I knew it affected the way I walked.  There was no way I could ignore the damn thing.  But the one thing that I was wearing that I knew I didn’t stand a chance of nobody noticing, was my damn heels!  Click…click….  Sorry!   Clomp…clomp….
     I got into the warmth of the store, but there was no way I was going to open up my coat.  The panic and excitement I felt were nearly driving me crazy!   I just needed ice-cream, so I didn’t need a shopping cart.  Not that a cart would hide anything about me at all.  I knew where the ice-cream aisle was and I headed directly there.  Click…click…click…click…  Ugh!  Clomp…clomp…clomp….  Shut up shoes!  But as always, they refused to listen.
     Don’t look at anybody!  Don’t look down.  Don’t look up.  Just don’t look – period!  But I had to look to see where I was going, and there were people literally all over the store.  Would anyone be able to tell if I wet my diaper out of fear?  Trust me, I was close.  And the constant uncomfortable feel of the thing kept it all too close to my mind.
     Ice-cream.  There it was.  I started reading all the labels, searching for what I wanted.  A thousand different tubs of it in a hundred different flavors.  I just wanted chocolate.  The most basic.  Vanilla.  Rocky Road.  Butter Pecan, Cookies and Cream, Strawberry, Banana, Walnut, Chocolate!  No, that’s chocolate chip.  Strawberry Shortcake, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Chocolate!  Found it – finally.  But there were two women in front of the freezer door considering other flavors.  I had to stand there and wait for them to finish.  Don’t…look…down!  They finally made their decision and one of them moved to open the freezer door.  The other one had to move out of the way, but as she did, I saw her eyes glance down…and her eyes stayed there…locked on my feet!  Damn!  Don’t…look…down.  But I did.  Briefly. 
      “You’re wearing women’s shoes,” she said with a puzzled look on her face.
      “Um…yeah,” I replied, barely getting that out of my mouth.
     She stared closer, her puzzled look increased.  “What’s that on your shoes?” she asked.
     Now I had to look down – again.  I couldn’t help it.  “Um….”
      “Oh my God, he is wearing heels!” her friend in the freezer exclaimed.  “High ones!”
     Now here is the worst part.  The absolute, bottom of the line, no doubt about it, worst part.  You know what I was the most aware of?  Not just the fact that they were both staring at my shoes…along with I didn’t know how many other people.  Not just the fact that my stomach was going crazy with embarrassment.  Not just the fact that I felt so totally humiliated by them seeing my shoes.  What I was the most aware of, was the huge sexual need right in my groin.  That…was the worst part! 
      “But what’s the other straps going around your shoes?” the first one asked.  “They’re black, but they don’t match.”
     How the hell was I supposed to answer that?  As I stood there trying to figure out what to say, she suddenly bent down and grabbed my pants leg and pulled it up, exposing the locks on my ankle.  “What the hell?  Locks?”
     I immediately stepped backwards, nearly tripping in those heels.
      “What’s the locks for?” the woman asked.
      “He’s got his shoes locked onto his feet!” the other girl declared.
     Before I could move, that first girl grabbed my pants leg again, firmer than before, and lifted it up again.  “They are!”
     No, it wasn’t the sound of their laughter that I hated the most, it was my own damn sexual stirring over the situation.  But the laughter was still awful.  I tried to step back again so she would release my pants leg, but she had too firm a grip on it.  “I…I just need some ice-cream.” I told them, hoping they’d leave me alone.
      “And a key!” one of them replied with a laugh. 
     Yeah, that too.  I just didn’t bother saying it. 
     And then I heard Joanna say, “Hey, can you hold his pants up again so I can get a picture?”
     I wasn’t only shocked, I wanted to die!  She wasn’t helping my situation at all.  But I quickly realized she would never help my situation.  Her place in life now was to make it worse…while my place in life was to squirm with humiliation.  All too quickly that woman grabbed not just one, but both my pants legs and pulled them up.  I was forced to stand there while Joanna took several pictures.  As I looked around, everyone in the aisle was staring at me.  My feeling of total humiliation increased to the point where I almost wanted to wet my diaper again.  I didn’t though.  Getting out of there was far more on my mind.
      “Thanks!” Joanna told them as she finished with her pictures. 
      “Now can I get my ice-cream?” I asked, hoping to get away from them.
      “Just…wait your turn,” the other one said.  As she turned back to the freezer, the one holding my pants finally let go.  The woman in the freezer finally made her decision and moved out of the way.  But neither woman went far.  They both stood there and watched as I opened the freezer door, grabbed a tub of chocolate ice-cream, and closed the door again.
      “Just chocolate?”  One of them asked.
      “That’s all,” I told her as I started to walk away.
      “Hey, do the back of his pants look weird?” I heard one of the women ask. 
     I kept going.  In fact I forced myself to walk away faster.  I didn’t want to get into any other problems with them. 
     The checkout lanes were fairly busy of course.  Since I had only the one item, I chose one of the two express lanes, both of which had a line of people.  I tried not to look, but there was simply no way to avoid it, I noticed a few people staring at my feet.  And sometimes I saw them commenting about me with someone else.  I tried my best to just look away from all of them.  Finally I paid for the ice-cream…at least the woman behind the register couldn’t see my shoes.  And then I walked out the door.  Clomp…clomp…clomp…  All the way back to the car, where Joanna was standing and taking more pictures of me as I approached.  It was such a relief to finally get back in the car where I wouldn’t have to worry about being so embarrassed. 
      “Did you enjoy that?” Joanna asked as I left the parking lot.
      “Enjoy it?  I was embarrassed out of my mind!”
      “Which means you did enjoy it, didn’t you!”
     I didn’t answer…on the grounds that it might have incriminated me.  But I made sure the look on my face told her differently.  I’m not sure she bought it.
     Once we got home, I headed straight to the laundry room – to hide!  Ashley and Joanna spent a few moments laughing hysterically out in the living room.  I had no doubt what they were talking about – me and whatever pictures Joanna had taken of me. 
     A few minutes later, Joanna showed up in the laundry room while I was moving clothes from the washer to the dryer.  “Do you want to see the pictures?”
     I considered it.  “Do I have to?”
      “No.  I just thought you might, since Ashley is posting each and every one to her Facebook page.”
     I wasn’t happy to hear that, but I should have expected it.  “Maybe I better.”
     She showed me each of the pictures.  In most of them, she had zoomed in so that each one clearly showed the heels I was wearing.  There were some of me in the parking lot heading toward the store.  A few of me inside the store before I got to the ice-cream aisle.  More than a few in that aisle with those two women, one of me at the checkout, and two more of me leaving the store and heading back to the car.  The ones with those two women managed to show all too clearly the locks holding my shoes to my feet.  The only good news about any of the pictures was that my head was not included in any of them, and there was no way you could tell who I was.  That was the only good thing about them.
     All of the pictures were embarrassing…to say the least!  But in truth, the real embarrassment wasn’t in the pictures, but in my memory of the situation and the things I had felt that I’d never admit to or tell anyone. 
     When I had seen all the pictures, I tried to say thanks, but my voice refused to work very well and it came out in a whisper. 
     Surprisingly, Ashley left me alone after that.  She didn’t even notice that I had left my pants on to cover that embarrassing diaper I was wearing.  And I noticed that Joanna didn’t say anything about it either.  But Ashley was laughing and talking with her friends on the phone, or texting them.  And she was suddenly totally in her own little world.  A world I’d just as soon not be a part of…even though I was the real focus of all of her attention. 
     It wasn’t until I watched Ashley get out of her chair and hobble to the kitchen table for dinner that she finally noticed I was wearing pants again.
      “Hey!” she said angrily.  “What are you doing with pants on?  Take them off!  From now on there’s a new rule, you don’t ever cover up your diapers in the house!  From now on!  Now get them off!”  And then she sat down at the table…and took another call from one of her friends, and went happily back to talking on the phone.  I took my pants off again, but she was so busy with her friends that I wasn’t sure she even noticed. 
     This time, Joanna didn’t clean up after dinner.  This time, she left it to me while she went back in and spent more time with Ashley.  The two of them kept laughing over and over again about different things.  I didn’t know what – exactly.  But I was betting it all had to do with me.  I didn’t really want to know any more than that. 
     I was stuck peeing in my diaper again while I cleaned up after dinner.  I didn’t bother telling either of them.  Of course, they never told me I had to tell them either.  My thick uncomfortable diaper simply got a little thicker and more uncomfortable.
     A short time later, Joanna came and found me.  “Mike,” I have to leave now.  Can I get you to please carry my suitcase for me?”
     She had actually asked me nicely.  But then this was Joanna, not Ashley.  “Sure.”
     I followed her back to her bedroom where she grabbed her coat and her purse.  “Um…give me a minute to get my pants on,” I told her.
      “Don’t bother,” she said.  “Don’t bother with your coat either.  We’ll go out through the garage.”
     Her words didn’t exactly bring me any comfort, especially since I’d be out there with the garage door open.  Not only that, but the lights that were on the automatic door opener were on motion detectors.  I’d be all too visible to my neighbors – if anyone was dumb enough to be outside when it was that cold.  Not liking things, I bent over and grabbed her suitcase.
      “I see you’re missing a few more of the designs on that diaper,” she noted.
      “Uh…I couldn’t help it,” I replied.
      “I’m sure,” she told me.  “I don’t know why Ashley is so fixated on them.  But…it’s her party.”
     Not exactly the words of wisdom I really wanted to hear.
     She kissed her daughter goodbye while I held her suitcase, then I followed her out to the garage.  As always, the lights came on when we entered.  I pushed the button on the wall to open the garage door, and I stood back behind my car while it opened. 
     She stopped and stared at me.  “You’re never going to be able to get my suitcase in the car from back there.”
      “I’m trying to not be seen as much,” I told her.
      “Well gee!  I already knew that.  Get out there!  I’ll unlock my car.”
     Hating the entire world, I nervously went out into the bitter cold and stood next to her car while she unlocked it.  I quickly opened the back door and put the suitcase in, then closed the door just as fast and hurried back into the garage to hide behind my car again until she left. 
     She shook her head.  “Mike…get out here again.”
      “What did I forget?”
      “Just get that diapered butt of yours back out here!”
     More nervous than ever now, I went back out where she was standing next to her car.
      “Stop trying to hide!” she told me.  “Get used to it.”
      “That’s easier said than done,” I told her.  “I hate this!”
      “Welcome to the life of…well, I’m not sure exactly what,” she said.  “You’re going to have to do the best you can to get used to it.”
      “What if I can’t?”
      “You’ve got no choice!”  She walked over to me and grabbed me around the neck and pulled me down to her face.  She kissed me on the lips, then whispered, “Thanks Mike.  Somehow, someday, I’ll make this all up to you.”
     Her words sounded nice.  I have no doubt they were sincere.  But really, with the things I was now so afraid of, what could she ever do?  She had me stand there outside in the bitter cold until she had driven off.  I hurried back inside.  Ashley was on the phone again talking excitedly with one of her friends.  I doubt she even noticed I had come back in.  Now if I could just get her to ignore me like that…for the rest of my life.
     It wasn’t until nearly bedtime before Ashley finally stopped talking to her friends, and that was mostly because her phone needed recharging again.  There were no more pills that were needed, so I just watched as she hobbled her way into the bathroom.  A few minutes later, she was out again and heading for her room. 
      “I’m going to bed,” she told me.  “Don’t even think about asking if I’ll let you out of those shoes.  If I’ve got to be miserable and stuck with a cast on my entire leg as well as my entire arm, then I see no reason why you can’t put up with a little inconvenience like being stuck in those shoes till you go to work on Monday.  At least you can move around.  I can hardly get out of that chair!”
     Not words I wanted to hear at all.  And then she made it worse.
      “And don’t you dare remove that diaper.  I want to see how wet you can make it tomorrow morning.”
     Ugh!  I had been planning on removing it before I went to bed – shortly!
      “And Mike, I saw that Mom had you leaving your bedroom door open for the last few nights, and she had you wearing a nightgown to bed too, so unless she tells you differently, keep doing that from now on.”
     More ugh! 
     She didn’t say goodnight.  She just hobbled into the room and closed the door.  I was not only stuck in those damn five inch heels again, I was also stuck in an overly bulky and increasingly uncomfortable diaper.  And I had no doubt I’d be wetting it again, probably a couple of times before I got up in the morning, which was only going to make it more uncomfortable. 
     I went around the house, closing and locking it up.  I went back to my bedroom where I wanted to close and lock my bedroom door too…except I couldn’t…or I wasn’t supposed to.  I pulled my nightgown on, turned out the light, and got into bed. 
     My mind was going around and around.  Why had I signed that agreement?  Why?  Why was I doing what Joanna wanted – when it was so damn perverted?  Why was I purposely allowing them to destroy my entire life?  No, that wasn’t right, why was I letting them tell me to destroy my own life.  Because that’s exactly what I was doing. 
     When this was all over, if it was ever over, how was I going to go back to being a normal person again?  Not that I was ever really normal to begin with, but I wanted the world to view me as normal.  I still wanted to be able to hold my head up and be liked by people and treated with respect.  But how could I ever expect that again?
     What had I done?  What had I done to my life?  I had ruined it.  Completely.  And no matter what words Joanna had used, I knew there was no way she would ever be able to fix it, and probably no way I would ever be able to fix it either.  I was…doomed. 
     I didn’t have to grab those usual three tissues to catch my sperm before I went to bed.  Not with the bulky diaper I was stuck in.  I rolled over remembering Joanna sliding naked into bed with me and making love to me.  But it wasn’t those thoughts that stayed in my mind and gave me so much pleasure that night.  It was the thoughts about the subjugation they had enslaved me with.  Thoughts about what had happened at the grocery store.  Thoughts about the already wet diaper I was wearing that I wasn’t allowed to remove.  Thoughts about not being able to get out of my heels again.  Those thoughts, and so many more just like them.  They were what sent me crashing over the edge.  I couldn’t help it.  Those fantasies were things that ruled my life just as much as Ashley and Joanna now did – if not more. 
     And when I had finished, once again I wanted to give it all up.  Once again I ranted at myself for being such a pervert.  Once again I came right to the edge of getting undressed and calling it all off.  But I didn’t.  That warm sexy body sliding into bed with me…and those damn fantasies I could no longer live without.  I hated myself.  I hated myself bad!  But I knew I’d never change a thing, even if I could.