Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Things I Miss

Soon after I got my wife back home again, she slipped coming down the stairs and injured her left ankle and right hip. Nothing serious, but she’s hobbling around and in even more pain than usual. I wish I could find a way to take all that pain away from her, but as usual I’m totally helpless. So frustrating – especially for her.


I notice that now that my little adventure is over, that I really miss sleeping in a nightgown every night. No, mine wasn’t nice and silky, just comfortable cotton. But it was very nice never-the-less. And whenever I got out of bed, I felt like I was already dressed enough to walk around the house without putting anything else on. I miss that.

I miss wearing pantyhose all the time. Ok, I wore them so much that I hardly noticed them anymore while I was wearing them. But every time my hand strayed down to my leg to touch something or to scratch a bit, there they were, so soft and smooth. So wonderful to touch and feel. Oh, how I miss that.

I miss wearing my heels around the house. The change in my walk as my hips and arms moved a bit looser, a bit more feminine. So nice, and so missed.

I miss wearing skirts and dresses around the house. They were so comfortable. I felt so good in them. All packed away now out of reach. I miss them.

I miss the fun of deciding what I was going to wear every day. Especially the last few weeks where my wardrobe had grown to the point where I could mix and match a bit. What delicious fun. The clothes I wear now are certainly no fun at all. I miss it.

I miss my pretty long nails. So pretty. So feminine. I miss being able to put different color nail polish on them every day. So much fun. They had grown so long at the end there that I had to do things differently with my hands. I had to use my fingers a bit more girly. So wonderful. I miss it terribly.

I miss using feminine shampoos and deodorant too. I know I smelled a bit too girly for the last month, but I enjoyed that. I don’t know if anybody noticed it as much as I did – I guess because I enjoyed it so much. I miss it.

I miss my diapers too. But not like I used to. I guess maybe the hypnotic recordings made some subtle changes there. I used to love them for the humiliation factor of wearing them. But not anymore. I just love them for the pleasure of wearing and wetting them. You don’t know how awful it is now to have to run to the toilet all the time. And sleeping is a pain because I get up two or three times a night. By the time my little adventure was finished, I hardly knew I was peeing any more at all. Even at night. It was soooo nice. I really miss that.

Mostly though, I guess I miss being able to express and give into my sissy side every day. Now, it’s all bottled up behind this false facade that everyone expects me to show. I feel it as a major loss. I may have regained my wife, but I’ve also lost the ability to fully express a major part of me – my sissy soul. But it’s there waiting, and someday I’ll get to let it out once again.

Be kind to yourself today. You deserve it.

1 comment:

Pretty Sissy Dani said...

For the very long period when I didn't and couldn't dress at all, I "let out" my sissy self in writing and drawing and other artistic endeavors. May I suggest the same to you? Even if you think you're not very good at it, it's a way to say "this is who I am"...