By Karen Singer
The concern had been building in Roger for several days. But from the time he woke up on Wednesday morning, he found it nearly impossible to push that concern aside. His big concern of course, was the pending doctor appointment that Janice had made for him later that afternoon… the doctor appointment for him to start on hormones that would begin his body’s physical transformation from a man into a woman. And there was simply no way that he could be anything but very concerned about that.
It now seemed like the closer it got to the end of the school year, the more changes were being thrown at him. Lately it had been the corset, then having to wear his “C” cup bras all the time, and today… today would start the one single biggest thing that would affect his life forever – hormones!
He couldn’t help it. There was no way he couldn’t feel anything but concerned… and… somewhat frightened.
Just before leaving for school, he went briefly back to the bathroom to check what little of his reflection he could see in the mirror there. How much longer would he be able to see himself as a man? School was now the only time in his life when he could be… a man. Granted, a man wearing frilly panties, but at least the panties never showed. But for all intents and purposes, at school at least, he was still – a man! A man doomed to no longer be… a man. And everywhere else now, there was no longer any way that anyone could look at him at think of him as… a man. Of course, there was no longer any way that anyone could think of him as a woman either. He was simply… something else. Something humiliating. Something in-between. Something that more often than not… people avoided. And he really couldn’t blame them all that much.
Would his life ever be simple and comfortable again? With a disappointed sigh, he left the bathroom. School beckoned.
Halifax didn’t know how long he had been in the cell. A Chinese man… at least he thought he was Chinese, it was hard to tell sometimes, had brought him a bucket of water. He had tried to sniff the water but he couldn’t smell anything. He had chanced dipping one of his sore hands into the water and scooping some of it out to drink. The water had tasted cool and fresh. Once he had drunk enough, he had dipped both of his still sore hands into the cool water and kept them there to soak. The water felt good against his sore fingertips. The pain had died a lot, but the ends of his fingers still hurt.
He couldn’t see them very well in the dim light, but as the pain grew less and less, he found it more and more difficult to not rub and touch those damaged areas of each finger. Those areas where is nails had been felt strange and all too soft to the touch. How long would it take to grow his nails back again? If his circumstances had been a bit better, he would have laughed. Grow back again? Most likely, he would soon be killed. Tortured and murdered… like they had done with Vesper. Now Vesper’s body had been taken out and burned so there would never be any sign of it. He supposed that would be his fate as well.
It was a bit of a mental struggle, but he eventually chanced reaching up and touching the collar that was still around his neck. A collar, but he couldn’t feel the miserable shock box that had always been there. He was tempted to try to unbuckle the thing, but he left it alone. He was too afraid to do that. Just touching it had taken much of his willpower.
When the need occurred, he peed through the bars of the cell so that most of it would go outside of the little area where he resided. He didn’t want to accidently lay in it and he didn’t want to pee into the bucket that was his only source of water.
A faint distant noise caught his attention, then the much louder noise of the door at the other end of the room opening. A heavy metal door he noted. The lights were suddenly switched on and he squinted against the sudden glare. That same Chinese woman was back again… wearing a different outfit. She wasn’t alone though, two large Chinese men were with her. He noticed what looked like a long red leather strap in her hand. His fear increased with every step they took towards him. Despite the fact that he wanted to be released from his prison, those bars were now the only thing that separated him from… more torture.
He shrank back on the floor against the rear wall as they approached and stood looking at him from the other side of the bars.
Susan stared down at Halifax, taking in everything she could about his condition. He appeared to be doing far better now than when they had finished with him last night. “Let me see your fingers,” she ordered.
Hesitantly, Halifax held up his hands, extending them outward toward the bars of his cell a bit.
Susan looked particularly at his fingertips where his fingernails used to be. In theory, he would never have fingernails again. According to Xiang. After a moment, she deemed Halifax recovered enough. “It’s time for Ben-ben the dog!” she said.
Before Halifax knew what was happening, he had that sudden vision again of file drawers closing, and one important drawer opening – as he moved to all fours and his hands curled into paws again. He sat up looking at the tall things. He remembered struggling to get down a lot of stairs into this place, but he didn’t remember how he had gotten into this little space where there were long things separating him from everyone else.
His paws hurt. He licked them, trying to make them feel better.
Susan smiled and motioned for one of her guards to open the cell. A moment later, she had connected the leash to Ben-ben’s collar and she began leading him upstairs.
She had a lot more planned for Ben-ben, but Xiang wasn’t ready with any of it yet. But she knew he was working tirelessly on it. He had found the proposed project to be very interesting. But then, he found a lot of things to be… interesting.
In the meantime, Ben-ben needed a bath before she would allow him back into her office!
Janice walked around the living room staring at her freshly waxed floors. Today was going to be a very good day. Today was going to be a day of changes. Her new furniture was due to arrive very soon, and later in the day, Roger… Candy would be seeing the doctor and would finally start taking the hormones that would cement his physical changes into a woman. Yes, it was going to be a very big day… and a very good day! Now, if only that furniture truck would finally arrive!
As the morning ticked away with no sign of the furniture truck, her good mood started to deteriorate toward very irritated. She finally picked up the phone to call the furniture company to find out what the hold-up was… and as she half-hoped, picking up the phone acted like a magical gesture, and the large truck appeared and came slowly down the driveway. Ten minutes later, her new furniture was being carried into her living room and set in approximately the places she had planned for it all. The new furniture came in… along with an awful lot of mud and dirt from the ground outside. Not what she wanted to see! But… it would all clean up after the men left. And in the meantime, her house was looking better and better. More and more like the home she had always pictured it could be. It’s a shame that Roger had been such a lousy decorator!
With all the new furniture finally in place and the delivery men gone, she spent a good part of the day arranging everything just the way she wanted it. She moved pieces here and there again and again, more often than not, moving them right back where they had been to start with – all in the name of making her house – perfect!
Eventually she looked around and could find only one thing missing – other than the work table and sewing machine she had ordered for her new disaster relief company. The walls needed decorating. And the one thing they needed the most in order for the house to feel like the home she wanted for herself and Carol – was pictures! Pictures of Carol and herself. And, she supposed that since the house really belonged to Roger… make that Candy… then she better include a few of him… or her… as well. She smiled. Perhaps a few of him… and her!
Roger’s hands were sweating as he rode in the back seat of Janice’s SUV through the highway system around Atlanta. As usual now, he was dressed completely as Candy – wig, makeup, corset, and all. Janice had suggested that he wear one of the dresses he usually wore to church, so he figured he was somewhat dressed up. But he would much rather have no-place to go instead of the someplace they were heading.
Doctor Jessica Parker. An endocrinologist. That somewhat surprised him, not to mention scared him more than a bit. He would have figured some kind of a psychologist or psychiatrist would be more likely. But he knew from his research that in many cases, an endocrinologist was the usual next step after the psychologist. So Janice was skipping a step here. A major step! Not that it would matter. He had no choice anymore. Janice had willed it, and he was about to turn his whole body into that of a woman. As much of a woman as modern science could make him. And Dr. Parker was the first major step in that part.
He watched as they turned off of the beltway and headed north up I75 towards Marietta. The traffic was brutal as always. One of the reasons he hated Atlanta. It was too big of a city. He’d take the simple country life any day over this!
He noted that Janice took the exit for Marietta, heading toward the large office buildings that seemed to be everywhere. He watched as she slowed down, searching for something, and then she turned into a parking garage beneath one of the tall buildings. He could feel his blood pressure going up as Janice drove through the semi-dark parking facility and found a place to park. His nervousness increased as he got out of the car. But his nervousness over wearing a dress out in public was overshadowed over his nervousness at meeting the doctor – and what would happen then.
He followed Janice and Carol to the elevator where she pressed the button for the sixth floor. And he followed them out and down the short hallway to the doctor’s office where they walked into a large comfortably furnished waiting area.
Janice walked up to the receptionist. “You should have an appointment this afternoon for Roger Brinkley?”
The woman was looking at Roger though instead of Janice. To her credit, she didn’t seem to bat an eye over the way Roger looked. She checked her appointment list. “Yes,” she said. “I’ve got... him listed right here.” She looked over to Roger. “I take it this appointment is for you?”
Roger nodded and tried to say yes, but his voice didn’t seem to be working very well.
The receptionist pulled out a clipboard and held it out toward Roger. “Please fill this out and I’ll take it when you’re done along with your ID and insurance cards.”
Two minutes later, Roger was filling out the forms that detailed his medical history. Lots and lots of questions. And no, he wasn’t and had never been – pregnant! He found that question amusing. He was certainly glad that as much of a woman as modern medicine could make him now, did not include allowing him to have a baby!
Once the paperwork had been done and the receptionist had gathered his insurance information, they had to sit and wait – a long time. Roger figured Carol was the only smart one of the three of them since she had brought a book with her. A schoolbook no less. Not math, but then he didn’t see her sitting there reading a math book like she was. As he sat, his eyes continually darted around the room. There were only a few other patients waiting – fortunately, but that meant to him that he was all that much more noticeable by all of them. When his name was finally called, he hurried toward the door that the nurse was holding open for him. Janice came as well. Carol barely looked up from her book.
The nurse weighed Roger and took his blood pressure. Then the next waiting period began, this time with just him and Janice in the small examination room. And finally the doctor came in. Roger was quick to notice that she was tall and slim. She had long brown hair and from what he could tell, she wasn’t wearing a lot of makeup – if any.
“Mr… Brinkley?” she asked as she looked from her file folder up at Roger.
Roger blushed and replied. “That’s me.”
“I see,” she said with something of a smile. “And… from the looks of you, it looks like you’re contemplating some big changes.”
“I guess so,” Roger replied somewhat bashfully.
The doctor took a few moments to look over the information on Roger that was in her folder. She flipped a few pages. “I don’t see your referral paperwork here,” she noted. “Do you have it?”
“There isn’t any,” Janice answered for him.
The doctor looked from Roger to Janice and finally shook her head. “I can’t do anything for you without that psychological assessment and referral.”
“We need you to make an exception this time,” Janice told her. “There isn’t going to be any psychological assessment.”
The doctor closed her folder. “I’m sorry, I can’t do anything for you. It’s a requirement that you have to have before I can do anything at all for you.”
“Doctor,” Janice said again as she quickly dug into her purse. “I’d like you to look at this.” She pulled out several papers and briefly made sure of what she had in her hand, then she handed them over to the doctor.
Doctor Parker took the papers, but she was mostly frustrated that these people just didn’t understand that she had rules that couldn’t be broken. She glanced at the papers, then suddenly looked a lot closer. “Where did you get these?” she asked angrily. “How did you get them?”
“You’ve got a problem,” Janice told her in no uncertain terms. “A big gambling problem. And as you can see, I now hold all of your markers. And that’s a rather large amount. I could ruin you tomorrow if I so chose. So don’t waste my time with telling me about your rules. You’re going to provide Roger… or Candy as he will now be called, with whatever drugs are required for him to undergo a change from being male to female. And you’re going to give him nothing but first class service from now on!”
Doctor Parker was livid. “How dare you!” she spat. “I made no such agreement with you!”
“It doesn’t matter who you made your agreements with. I own you now! Banks do this kind of thing all the time. Think of me as another bank who just bought… you!”
“Get out!” the doctor ordered. “I will not be dictated to like that! And as far as I’m concerned, I owe you nothing! And you don’t own me at all! Nobody does!”
“I suggest you rethink that,” Janice threatened. “You wouldn’t like what I’m capable of doing!”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think you’re capable of,” the doctor replied. “Now get out of here!”
Roger felt he had to speak up. “Doctor, I highly recommend that you do what she wants. Believe me, you don’t want to mess with her.”
“Get out!” the doctor yelled as she threw the papers back at Janice. “Get out, and don’t let me see you here ever again!”
Janice’s face was set in anger. “Come along Candy,” she said. “And doctor, I’ll be seeing you very soon.” With that, she stormed out of the room.
Roger looked briefly at the doctor. “You made a big mistake,” he said. “You better pray she doesn’t make you wish you were dead.”
“Get out!” the doctor hissed.
Roger nodded and followed Janice.
Doctor Parker took a moment to try to gather her composure, then she headed for her office. She sat at her desk for a few minutes just to think. Finally, she picked up her phone and dialed a number. “Felix! Jessica Parker here. Did you sell my loans to someone else?”
“Sorry Parker,” Felix replied. “I didn’t have much choice in the matter. A bunch of major Chinese goons came through here with a boatload of cash and weren’t giving me any options. I got two broken fingers now to prove it! I guess I should have called you about it.”
“Yeah, you could have at least let me know. Wait a minute. You said some Chinese guys?”
The doctor couldn’t figure where that might fit in with Janice. But the end result was that Janice had those payment markers. And as far as she was concerned, she had made no agreements for money or anything else with that woman, so she could take all those markers she had paid for and just go to hell! “Felix,” she said, “since my tab is now clear, what’s the chance of another loan for this weekend.”
“Your tab with me is clear,” he said. “But I’m sorry Doctor, no dice this time. Not for a long while. My fingers can’t take it!”
Parker was disappointed. “Okay, thanks Felix.” She hung up her phone, but she only paused for a moment before she dialed again. “Fast Freddy? Jessica Parker here.”
“Jessica,” Parker replied. “You got some kind of lucky break I guess… having someone pay off not just part of your bill, but the entire thing! Way to go!”
“So my tab is clean there?” she asked.
“Absolutely!” Freddy replied.
“Then what’s the chance of getting another loan for this weekend?”
“No problem! Starting over again huh? Well, if you can pay like you just did once in a while, it will be no problem at all. How much were you thinking?”
“Let’s start small. About ten thousand.”
“Can do,” Freddy replied. “Will you be here at the usual time?”
“Sounds good,” Parker replied. “See you Friday.”
That woman and her transvestite tramp could go to hell. She had a clear slate with Fast Freddy now, whether the woman liked it or not. And she planned on winning in the casino and doubling that amount of money – at least!
It was late that night when Janice picked up one of her burner phones and placed the fictitious order for things she didn’t need. She had to be very insistent at that hour that someone call her back about her order. It was thirty minutes before her phone rang back. “Hello?” she said.
“Janice,” Susan said. “What’s going on that you had to call me now? And it sounds like you’ve got some kind of a problem.”
“Remember when you said you wanted to watch me work?” Janice replied.
“Well, I want to go to work on someone special. And I want to do it soon!”
“Okay,” Susan said. “Who did you have in mind?”
“Doctor Jessica Parker. She’s just pissed me off!”