Gramps - Chapter 15

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 15

 

Habits are hard things to break.  Forging new habits isn’t exactly easy either.  Neither is being forced to look at yourself in a new light, a different understanding.  Especially when what you see in that new light is nothing but a big disappointment.  How had I sunk so low?  And how had Kimmie managed to make absolutely sure that I was going to stay there?

A baby.  A thing worth nothing but mockery to the entire rest of the world.  Useless.  Deserving nothing but ridicule.  Lower than low.  Everyone else standing above and looking down.  A baby.  Nothing more.  Maybe a whole lot less.

As usually happened, I woke up Saturday morning needing to pee.  As usual, I laid there and simply let it all out.  Peeing like that into my already wet diaper did nothing but remind me that I was a baby.  At least as far as Kimmie was concerned.  Maybe as far as everyone else was concerned too.  She had said that everyone knew about me.  She hadn’t tried in the least to keep my fantasies and the things I did any kind of secret at all.  I could only blame her for that.  No!  I could only blame myself!  They were my fantasies.  All the things I did were because I had wanted to do them, not her.  I actually deserved what I had become.  Kimmie was doing nothing more now than pointing that out to me…loud and clear.

A baby.  Me.

What was I going to do about it?  I didn’t know.  Maybe I didn’t care.  I got out of bed and grabbed my pacifier.  It went into my mouth without being told.  I tried to suck on it the way she wanted me to.  By the time I reached the kitchen, I caught myself chewing on it instead like she didn’t want me to.  Yeah, habits were hard to break.  Forming new habits was just as difficult.

Kimmie wasn’t downstairs yet.  I had no doubt she soon would be.  I stood there trying to suck properly on that darn pacifier, while my eyes were more interested in the coffee maker.  I wanted to stick a pod in that machine and make some in the worst way, but I had to wonder if Kimmie had already made some baby bottles for me and stuck them in the refrigerator.  Too much liquid wasn’t good.  So I stood there, trying to figure out what to do.  Why should I have to be the one to decide?  I was a baby, right?  I wasn’t supposed to make decisions like that.  But there was no one else around.

As I stood there, Kimmie walked into the kitchen.  She came over and hugged me firmly then kissed my cheek.  “Love you Gramps,” she said.  “Want some coffee?”

“Can I?” I asked.

“Can you what?”

“Make coffee.”

“Why not?  Here,” she said.  “Go sit.  I’ll make breakfast today, including your coffee.”

I went to the table and sat down in my soggy diaper, waiting patiently.  Trying to figure out what kind of game she was playing.

Kimmie fried some eggs, microwaved some bacon, and made some toast.  Before any of that was ready she brought me a fresh mug of coffee to drink.  I drank it gratefully.  Savoring the pleasure…or was that the privilege, since I got to drink it from a mug.  She delivered breakfast and sat down so we could eat together.

“When was the last time you left this house other than to go grocery shopping?” she asked.

That one floored me.  I had to think.  “I don’t know,” I admitted.  “It’s been a long time now.”

“Yeah,” she agreed sadly.  “And I know that’s my fault.”

I said nothing to that.  As far as I was concerned, it was her fault.  Although the truth was, it was my fault for being as messed up as I was.  “I haven’t exactly been interested in going anywhere,” I told her.

“Yeah.  Probably not,” she agreed.

“Where would I go anyway?  And trust me, those trips we made to the grocery store were bad enough.  I’m not exactly anxious to add any more insult to my injury.”

She looked at me sadly, then said.  “It’s just that, you being cooped up here all the time, especially for so long, isn’t good for you.”

“I’m fine!” I insisted.

“No, you’re not!” she countered.

“Kimmie, I don’t want to go anywhere.  Especially like…”  I looked down at myself.  “This!”

She smiled, but it was a sly smile.  “I’m sure you don’t,” she agreed.  “But I think that today we need to get you out for a bit.”

I wasn’t happy to hear that.  “Kimmie…no!”

She nodded.  “Yes Gramps.”

But at that point I heard a ding.  It took me a moment to realize what it was.

“Pacifier time Gramps,” she told me.

I know my jaw dropped.  “But we’re eating.”

She shook her head.  “No excuses,” she told me.  “You can finish eating when you’re done.  Now stick that thing back in your mouth and get busy.”

I was about to stick it in my mouth again when a thought hit me.  “Do I have to film it again?”

“Not as long as I’m here to watch you,” she told me.  “Now start working on it.  I’ll time you and let you know when you can stop.  And it’s six minutes today,” she added.  “Another day.  Another minute.”

Ugh!  Facing the inevitable, and not wanting to give her any reason to get mad at me, I stuck the pacifier in my mouth and did my best to suck on it exactly the way she had decided I should.  Suck, relax.  Suck, relax.  Yeah.  Habits were hard to break, but she was doing her best to make me learn a new one now.  It felt like forever before she said I could stop and go back to eating my breakfast.  No surprise, by that time my eggs were cold.

After breakfast, she told me I could clean up the dishes and load the dishwasher.  I was still in my soaked nighttime diaper, but that was fine.  Pacifier in mouth, I got busy in the kitchen with the simple task of cleaning up.  Afterwards, I went to my bathroom, shaved, and got gratefully into the shower, where I stayed for a few minutes longer than usual.  I wasn’t the least bit surprised to see Kimmie waiting for me when I got out.

Powder and a fresh diaper.  Heaven.  Then she added a pair of plastic pants that surprised me.  I said nothing about it though, like I said nothing about anything.  Stockings were next.  I expected another pair of leg warmers, but instead she had me stand up and she handed me one of her colorful patterned blouses to put on.  Buttoning the thing up was awkward since the buttons were backwards for me.  It just took me a minute longer than it should have.  Kimmie just watched me patiently.  When I was done, she went to a pile of things on my dresser and grabbed…a pair of pants!  Hip, hip, hooray!  Except I soon noticed that once again, they were her pants.  And once again, they had no fly, just an elastic waist.  I stepped into them and had to fight with them a bit to get them over my diaper.  But they were soon up and on.  Finally, something to cover my embarrassing diaper!  She sat me on the bed and then went to my closet.  When she came back, I was surprised to see the black high heeled pumps she had me buy earlier in the week.  “When did they come in?” I asked.

“Yesterday,” she told me.

I let her stick them on my feet.  No straps for a change.  They fit tight, but not too tight.  I wasn’t even standing in them yet and I knew they’d be a lot more comfortable than those pink heels.  Had I graduated now from little girl shoes to high heels?  It seemed like it since that’s all I had been wearing lately.

Kimmie had me stand up so she could look me over.  Yeah, the black pumps weren’t too bad at all.  I judged the heel to be about the same height as my original pair of heels, just a lot thinner, which meant I was going to have to be careful walking in them.  I noticed that standing up, the length of the pants came down a few inches past my ankles, which meant that the pants would help hide a little of the shoes I was wearing.  Another reason to celebrate.  No, scratch that.  They wouldn’t hide the shoes well enough at all.  They’d still be noticeable not only below the pants but more so with every step I took, not to mention the sound the heels were likely to make.  Foiled again.

I was completely dressed, but not one male piece of clothing.  Aaand…my fingernails were pink.  Perfect!  For Kimmie.  Not me.  “I’m fully dressed,” I chanced saying out loud.

“You noticed!” she replied mockingly.

“Why?  Why all of a sudden?”

“I told you already.”

I remembered our conversation during breakfast.

“So you were already planning on taking me out…like this?  Grocery shopping?” I asked hopefully.

“Nope,” she replied.  “But I am planning on taking you shopping.  Just nowhere near a grocery store…probably.”

“Where then, dare I ask?”

“How many times have you been to the mall here in Johnson City,” she asked me instead.

“A few,” I told her.  “That was more Ruthie’s territory than mine.”

“Where was your territory?”

“My chair in the other room.”

“And it’s time to get you out of that chair!  Way past time.  I should have never let you sit and do nothing for so long.”

“Even though I’m perfectly happy sitting there, and I can tell you for a fact that I don’t want to go!” I told her, my voice becoming more desperate with every word.

She looked at me sternly and came close.  “Are you going to give me any trouble today?” she asked menacingly.  “Or should I just hook you up to the corner again?”

My mind had been unable to forget being trapped by her diabolical torture device last night, and it especially couldn’t forget the lessons it had taught me.  I was a failure.  I was worth nothing except to be the laughing stock of everyone else.  I had no say in anything anymore.  I was for all intents and purposes…her baby.

After a moment, I looked sorrowfully down at the floor.  “No,” I said softly.  “Don’t do that to me again.”

“You promise to be good, no matter what?”

It sounded like Kimmie had some nasty stuff planned for me that day.

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Then where’s your pacifier?  It belongs in your mouth.”

I grabbed my pacifier from the nightstand next to the bed and stuck it in in my mouth.  I looked at her so she could watch me sucking on it properly like she wanted.

“Good,” she declared.  “I just need a few minutes to get ready, then we can go.”

As I waited in the kitchen, sucking my pacifier, my mind couldn’t help but think about what a sorry sack of shit I had become.  Ruthie would be so disappointed in me.  That thought hurt the most.

“All set?”

My unhappy reverie was interrupted as Kimmie came back into the kitchen, ready to go.

I pulled the plug from my mouth so I could answer her.  “I just wish we wouldn’t do this,” I replied.

 “We’re going!  Like it or not!” she told me sternly.  “Get your jacket!”

There was a ding that came from her purse.  I watched as she dug my cellphone out of it.

“Pacifier time,” she announced.  She stared closely at my face and I knew that was my cue to make sure I was sucking on that thing properly.  Six minutes felt like forever, but she stood there watching me closely for every single second.  “Time!” she suddenly announced.  “Okay Gramps.  You might need your warmer jacket today.  It’s supposed to be cold and windy out there.

I was so happy that I got to wear my heavier weight jacket.  Not just because in the later part of September the weather was cold and blustery, but because the jacket came down a bit lower than my lighter weight one and it covered a bit more of me, all the way from my shoulders to the middle of my diaper covered butt.  It certainly didn’t hide everything though.  Not by a long shot.

I was soon in Kimmie’s car, and we were leaving the house.  How long had it been since I had last driven my pickup truck?  Too long.  I couldn’t even remember when that was.  Still, I didn’t want to be going anywhere just then.  But I knew I had no choice.  Not after what she did to me last night.  I knew now that I was nothing but her possession, to do whatever she wanted with me, no matter how perverted that might be.  I was a baby.  I had no say in anything.

Accidents never happen when you want them to, only when you’re not expecting them.  I didn’t know if it would be better if we had a car accident and didn’t get to the mall, or if an accident would only make matters worse for me.  Either way, we got there safely.

As usual, I didn’t want to get out of the car, but one look from Kimmie and I got out.  I was a bit slow with it though and Kimmie had to wait a bit for me.  Yeah, I really didn’t want to be there.

Just before we got to the mall entrance, Kimmie surprised me when she let out a soft curse.

“Darn it!” she said.  “I wanted to have you drink another bottle before we left this morning, but I forgot.  My bad.”

Her bad?  I was happy about it.  I chanced pulling the plug from my mouth.  “I’m glad!  Especially since we’re away from the house.”

She grabbed the door handle.  “Why?” she asked.  Then she opened the door and held it so I could go through, as if I was her child, which I guess I was.

“Because all those bottles make me pee too much.”

“Good!” she declared as we entered the wide concourse inside.  “Never too much.”

Maybe for her, but it was certainly too much for me.  “Yeah,” I said, “but those drinks also make me poop too much.  My diapers are always nothing but a huge mess.  Why do you think I complain so much about having to wait to change every day?”

She looked at me for a moment, then continued walking, but I could tell she was thinking about that.  I kept the pacifier in my hand until, without even looking at me, she said, “Paci!”

Ugh!

It was Saturday, and even for it being morning there were quite a few people there.  I had thought that Kimmie had some kind of exact destination in mind for us to go to, but instead we were strolling casually along, spending time looking.  Shopping.  I’m sure for her it was quite enjoyable, I couldn’t say that for myself.  I only wanted to get out of there and go home!

Kimmie didn’t seem to care that everyone, and I mean everyone, was looking at me strangely.  She knew it and simply acted like everything was normal.  I didn’t have that luxury, but as always, there was nothing I could do about it.  I couldn’t even complain, not with that damn pacifier in my mouth.  I’m sure everyone noticed my shoes.  I’m sure they noticed my fingernails.  But it was obvious to me that they usually noticed those things after they saw me sucking on that pacifier.

We went in and out of a number of stores, looking at things.  Kimmie bought a few things for herself (I hoped).  In the shoe store she tried on four or five different pairs but didn’t wind up buying any of them.  She did ask me if I saw any of the women’s shoes that I might want to try on.  I shook my head to tell her no.  I was glad when she didn’t push the issue.

And then that stupid dinging sound came again from her purse.  Right there in the mall concourse, she pulled me over to the side and watched as I sucked properly on my pacifier for six entire minutes before she declared that it was long enough.  How many people saw us there?  I’m sure all of them wondered what we were doing.  And I’m sure they all could tell it had something to do with the pacifier in my mouth.

I thought we were going to move on then, but instead, Kimmie said, “Wait a minute.”

With that paci in my mouth, I couldn’t ask what for.  Unfortunately, I soon found out.

“You said that all those bottles make you poop more into your diapers,” she asked.

I nodded emphatically.

“But that doesn’t make sense.  It’s just liquid.  Yeah, you might pee a bit more, but not that much.  But those drinks shouldn’t make you have to poop any more than you would normally have to go.”

I, of course, had a different opinion on the matter.

“So to me,” she continued, “that means that you’re simply holding back too much and waiting too long for it to build up in your system.”

I started to pull the plug from my mouth so I could comment on that, but she stopped me saying, “Don’t take it out!  Don’t try to argue with me.  It won’t work!”

I took my hand away from the pacifier.  I did wonder where she was going with all this.  But that’s when she hit me with it.

“I want you to stand there and try to poop in your diaper right now!”

I was shocked.  I tried to say, “What?” but it came out as “Uh?”

“Poop that diaper right now.  Push it out…now!  Do it Gramps, or I swear I’m going to punish you as soon as we get home.”

Fear ran up my spine.  “Uh-uh,” I grunted, trying to tell her I didn’t want to get punished.

“Then shit in that diaper…now!  Come on.  I want to see you trying to put a load back there.  Do it!”

I didn’t want to, but I could see she was serious about the punishment part, and I’d do anything to avoid that.  I had no choice but to concentrate and start trying to push something out of my system.  I was surprised when she suddenly said, “Good!”  I stopped, but she said, “Keep pushing.  More.”  So I did.  A few seconds later, she said, “Okay, that’s enough…for now.”

For now?

“We’ll try this again in a little while.  Come on baby.  Let’s keep going.”

Keep going?  The only place she really wanted me going in that mall, was in the back of my diaper.

It was just another store in the mall…to her.  In fact, I knew it was a fairly popular store in the mall…for her…and all the other women in the area.  It wasn’t popular for men, and it especially wasn’t popular with me.  Especially not just then.  Kimmie didn’t say anything about it or even pause like she often did before going into a store.  She just turned a bit in that direction and in we went.  Straight into the store that specialized in women’s lingerie.  As usual now, I simply followed her around like a lost puppy, doing nothing but wishing we could get out of there and go home.

As she wandered around, Kimmie picked up a lot of things, then put them back.  Mostly though, I got the impression that she was looking at bras.  And then she came across a colorful assortment of them that like so many others in the store had fairly stiff and thick bra cups. 

“These might be perfect for you,” she declared.

I was aghast.  I quickly pulled that paci from my mouth.  “For me?”

“Yes, for you.  You need something to give you some shape on top.”

“But…”

“Gramps!  Don’t argue!  You’re buying yourself some new bras, and you’re going to be wearing them, probably a lot.  Get used to the idea.”

“But I don’t want to buy any bras,” I whispered urgently.  “Especially not here.  Online…maybe.  But not here.”

“Here!  In the store!” she insisted.  “And stop trying to argue.  What say does a baby have in it anyway?  If I decide I want you to wear bras, that’s my decision, not yours.  Babies have no say in the matter at all.”

“But…”

“Gramps!  Which one of us is wearing the baby diapers?”

She stared me down menacingly.  After a few moments, I hung my head in shame.  “Me,” I replied.

“You what?” she pushed.

“I wear the diapers.”

“No,” she said.  They’re baby diapers Gramps.  Say it.  You wear baby diapers.”

“Kimmie, that’s just…”

“Say it Gramps.  I mean it.  What are they?  What do you wear?”

Ugh!  “Baby diapers,” I replied, just to get her to stop harping about it.

“Good.  Remember that.  From now on, you never talk about your diapers without calling them baby diapers.  Get that through your head.  Baby diapers.  Baby pacifier.  Like that.”

Yeah, she was nuts.

“Now put that damn baby pacifier back in your mouth and remember that.  I need to find us some help.”

Help?  Why?  That was the last thing I wanted…besides buying bras…for myself.  I shoved the darn baby pacifier back into my mouth.

“Wait here,” she told me.  She walked off about ten feet before she stopped and signaled toward one of the store workers.  The woman came over to her and Kimmie unfortunately led her straight back to me.  I could see the woman looking me over carefully.  I could see she had plenty of questions, but I could also see that Kimmie was talking to her.  “He needs some bras to give him some shape on top, and I figured some of these would be perfect for him.  I just don’t know his chest size.  I really should have thought to measure that before we left home.”

The woman was still looking me over from my head to my black high heeled toes.  “Of course,” she replied.  “The measuring room is back this way.”

She led us to the back of the store and into a small closet like room.  Kimmie herself unzipped my jacket and took it off me as if I was a child, then she unbuttoned the blouse I was wearing as well.  The store woman did nothing but watch silently.  I just stood there letting her, and sucking on my baby pacifier of course, just like a damn toddler.

The woman came over and wrapped a tape measure around my chest in a few places, checking it each time.  “Thirty-eight,” she declared.  “I’m sure you’re not interested in cup size.  He doesn’t have one.”

Kimmie smiled.  “But he will.  Just as soon as I can buy some of those bras and get him into the ladies’ room.”

The woman shook her head.  She wasn’t smiling.  “Wait here,” she told us.  “I’ll get one and bring it back.  What color were you interested in?”

“For now?” Kimmie replied, “I think the dusty rose colored one.”

The woman just shook her head and walked out, leaving us there.

I don’t know if I wanted to pull that plug from my mouth to say something or not, but Kimmie made that decision for me.  “Don’t say anything!” she said sternly.

So much for having something to say.

The woman came back with the weird rose colored bra in her hands.  Both she and Kimmie put it on me and the woman took the time to pull on the straps, adjusting them a bit tighter than I expected.  When she was done, she walked out and Kimmie put the blouse back on me and buttoned it up.  Then she put my jacket back on me too, not bothering to zip it up at all, leaving that colorful blouse, now complete with breasts underneath where they could be seen a lot easier.  Finally, Kimmie led me out of that tiny room.  Me…I just wanted to die.  I wet my diaper instead.

Kimmie went over to the bra display where we had been before and pulled four more bras from it, all in different colors.  Then she led me over to the checkout.  That woman was already there waiting for us.  Kimmie handed her the bras to ring up, then dug into her purse and handed me my wallet.  I got the message.  Not daring to remove the baby pacifier from my mouth, which meant that I didn’t say one word about it, I paid for all the bras.

Kimmie took my wallet from me again and stowed it back in her purse and we walked out of there.  I could tell that Kimmie was happy.  I certainly wasn’t.

We got just a few yards away from the store when Kimmie pulled me over to the side again.  She pulled her phone from her purse and checked the time.  Then she turned to me.  “Pooping time again Gramps.”

I tried to say, “What?” which naturally came out as, “Uh?”

“Pooping time,” she told me.  “Just like you did before.  Try to poop in your diaper.”  When I hesitated she added, “Don’t give me any trouble over this.  Do it…baby!  Show me what a baby you can be and do your best to keep trying to poop in your diaper until I say you can stop.”  Again, she waited a moment, then said, “I’m waiting.  Damn, we are going to have to punish you as soon as you get home?  I’m sick of you not doing what I tell you.”

I immediately started bearing down, trying to shit in my diaper, right then and there.

“Finally!” she said.  “I can see you actually trying.”

She could tell?  How?  I didn’t really have to go, but I was wondering if something might come out soon, when she suddenly said.  “Good.  Okay.  That’s enough for now.  We’ll do it again in a little bit.”

What the hell was she after?  Oh!  I figured it out.  She just wanted me to mess myself while we were out in the stores.  In public.  In front of everyone else.

Darn woman!

Home, home, home!  But we didn’t go home.  The mall had two levels, upstairs and downstairs, and Kimmie just had to cover every bit of it, including inside half the stores.  I covered every bit of it too, with a baby pacifier in my mouth, a noticeable bra under my noticeable woman’s blouse, noticeable women’s pants, noticeable women’s high heels on my feet, noticeable pink fingernails, and of course, I was sure that before long, my diaper under those women’s pants would be fairly noticeable as well.  I was a bit wetter than when we first started.  Not nearly as bad as it would have been if we had stayed home and I had to drink bottle after bottle of her stupid sports drinks, but my diaper was still a bit wetter.  Oh, sorry, I have no doubt I should have said baby bottles, and baby diaper.  I was going to kill that woman one of these days.

Wearing the bra was an unforgettable experience.  I couldn’t forget it because I couldn’t forget about it.  It was tight and it simply felt strange.  I wanted to keep stretching my arms, or my back, or my chest, which of course I couldn’t do much.  And if I did stretch a bit, it wouldn’t have made any difference anyway.  The thing was fastened on me, and there was no getting it off until I could get undressed.  How long did Kimmie intend on making me wear it anyway?  I was betting all the way until she dressed me for bed…and maybe longer…in bed.  After wearing it just that long, I decided that I wasn’t interested in that bit of fun.  Especially since the police still hadn’t located my missing cock.  If they had, things might have been a bit different.

When the phone in her purse dinged, right then and there I had to spend some time trying to poop in my diaper again, before we went right into the pacifier…sorry, baby pacifier exercise.  Uh…don’t tell Kimmie, but I almost did poop myself just then.  I was so glad when she declared time just before it happened.

We stopped in the food court for an early lunch.  I was allowed to take the baby pacifier from my lips.  I’m sure the only reason she allowed me to remove it was so I could eat.  While we ate, she fussed for a few minutes with my phone that she pulled from her purse.  Then the phone disappeared.  We had barely finished eating and were just getting up from the table when I heard that phone ding again.  I was confused because it hadn’t been that long since she had “observed” me sucking.

“Pooping time again,” she said as we walked.

I looked over at her, and tried to say, “What?” which came out as “Uh?”

“Pooping time.  Keep walking.  I can tell now when you’re trying to poop, so just keep walking and poop your diaper.”  She leaned her head a bit closer to me.  “Your face turns a bit red, among some other easy tells, so I know what you’re doing.  Now get busy.”

She had to be nuts!  Yes, I knew she was, but with her doing more looking at me than where we were going, we slowly walked while I tried to do what I really, really didn’t want to do.  And…darn it!  Some came out.  Not a huge amount, but more than enough to make sure I’d not only know it was there, but to make things a lot more uncomfortable for me.

I suddenly heard her laughing.  “Keep pushing,” she said as she giggled.  “It’s not time yet.”

Like it or not, which I didn’t, I kept trying.  Nothing more came out, and I was glad.  What I had done was bad enough.

“Time,” she suddenly called and I relaxed.  She leaned her head over towards me.  “Did you just mess yourself?”

Trust me.  I looked at her with an angry expression on my face.  She laughed.  I wondered if she was going to try to change me now.  In public.  Then I remembered that I hadn’t seen her pack anymore diapers or anything else to change me.

As we kept walking, I wondered about if she changed me in public, how would that affect the two o’clock designated changing time I had to live with lately.  But she didn’t appear to be interested in changing me at all.  She just continued shopping, dragging me from store to store, now with a load in my pants.  It’s a good thing she had put those plastic pants on me.  Otherwise, the smell would have been a lot more noticeable.

And of course, half an hour later, the phone dinged.  I was shocked when she made me try to shit myself again…before studying carefully how I was sucking on that damn pac…uh, baby pacifier.

Half an hour later, it was pooping time again.  Once again I noticed that while it didn’t actually happen, if she had made me try much longer, it might have.  Maybe having lunch out was a bad idea.

When we finally left the mall, my feet were in agony from those new heels I was wearing, although with the pacifier in…uh baby pacifier in my mouth, I couldn’t even tell her about it.  Not that she would care anyway.  Knowing Kimmie the way I did now, I was fairly sure she’d be delighted that my feet were killing me.

My other immediate problem of course was the load in the back of my diaper.  I was concerned about it while we were in the mall, and I was even more concerned about it as we headed to the car.  I was going to have to sit in that mess.  Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.  Trust me, I got into the car very carefully, not to mention settled myself in the seat very slowly.  As I did, I could feel that mess squishing up against my backside.  Y-U-C-K!  Yuck!

Kimmie started the car and we left the mall.  She suddenly let out a short laugh, then said, “I think that’s going to work out great.”

Was she talking to me?  And what exactly was she talking about?  I soon found out.

“From now on, if you try to poop every half hour for thirty seconds, and every hour you continue to do your suckling exercise for however long you’re supposed to, I think those two things should make a world of difference for you.”

I was shocked.  A world of difference?  What?

“I can already tell,” she added, “that sometimes you actually suck that baby paci more like you’re supposed to, and if you try to poop in your diaper every half an hour, I’m betting your body will get the point where eventually you’ll have less trouble doing it whenever your body thinks it needs to go…not you.”

Huh?  She laughed again, sounding very satisfied with herself.  For once, I was glad that I had that baby pacifier in my mouth.  I didn’t know what I would say to all that anyway?  My life was going to be occupied doing things every half hour?  What the heck?

And then she ruined my day completely, as if it hadn’t already been totally destroyed.  “You were bad a few times today,” she said far more seriously.  I saw her briefly turn her head in my direction, then look back at the road.  “Bad enough that I’m going to punish you again when we get home.”  I know since she was driving that she couldn’t see the look of fear on my face.  “Plan on it!” she added.  “You’ve got to learn to do what you’re told and not even try to second guess me.”

I suddenly didn’t want to go home…load in my diaper or not.

We had just gotten out of the car when I heard her phone ding again.  She didn’t even let me get into the house.  Right there in the garage I had to try to mess my diaper again, followed by more time sucking properly.  She didn’t know it of course, but I came so close to shitting my diaper again it wasn’t funny.

We couldn’t go fully into the house until both exercises were over, but once inside, punishment or not, I was glad to be home.  Kimmie disappeared going upstairs to her room with her packages.  The only package I had was the bag with all those bras I didn’t need…or want.  I dropped the bag on my bed, knowing that Kimmie would probably spend some time looking through them later.  I’d already had enough of the bras.  Especially the one I was wearing.

I had just gotten back to the living room and was heading for my chair when Kimmie walked back downstairs.  She saw me heading for my recliner.  “Uh!” she said sharply, stopping me where I was.

The moment she headed forcefully directly toward me I started to panic.  “No!” I wanted to say, which of course came out as “Uoo!”

She grabbed my arm firmly and pulled.  I tried to pull back but she was simply too strong.  She dragged straight over to that cursed corner where she twisted my arm behind my back.  “Down!” she ordered harshly.

Twisting my arm like she was, I cried out in pain and my knees suddenly gave out under me.  I was suddenly down on my hands and knees.  She let go of my arm and I quickly got it under me to help support my body, now on my hands and knees.  She kept one arm around my body, keeping me there like that, while her other hand headed straight for my nose.  I twisted my head around, trying to stop her, but she still caught me.  In moments I felt that metal clamp going in, and her fingers of that hand seemed to be doing something, twisting it I thought.  The clamp grew tighter and soon touched both sides of the septum in my nose.  “Oooo!” I yelled, trying to say no, trying to stop her.  But she kept tightening the thing.

When the tears started to fall from my eyes, she suddenly let go of me, and just grabbed that clamp.  And she pulled it!  Firmly!  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  It hurt so much I had no choice but to crawl wherever she led me…which was right into that corner and right up to that bracket on the wall.  The moment I got close enough, I felt her pulling up on the clamp, pushing it into the bracket, then she let go.  My nose, my entire head, my entire body was stuck there.  I tried lifting my head to get it out of the bracket, but it didn’t work.  My hands came up to do it instead, but the moment they got near, she slapped them hard.

“No!  Don’t touch!  This is your punishment.  Live with it and learn.”

Learn?  The only thing I was learning was how much pain I was in.

I struggled, but my head was stuck right there, my face practically touching the walls of the corner, and it wasn’t going anywhere.  I was on my hands and knees, like a baby crawling.  Was that on purpose?  Was she trying to tell me something?  I tried to sit, but I couldn’t.  I tried to lay down, but I couldn’t.  Standing was certainly out of the question as well.  I was stuck right there on my hands and knees, and I couldn’t change anything until she decided to release me.

That damn clamp was still hurting enough to keep the tears rolling down my face.  If that pacifier…baby pacifier hadn’t been in my mouth, I’m sure I would have been begging nonstop for her to release me, but I couldn’t get an intelligible word out with it in there.  Not to mention, my blubbering since I was crying so much would have made intelligible words impossible anyway.

The longer I was there, the more my agony seemed to increase.  I’m not ashamed to tell you that before long I was crying like a baby, and that continued for the entire time I was there.  Time itself lost all meaning.  Every second seemed like a minute.  Every minute was an hour.  And my agony only seemed to increase, although in truth, I wasn’t sure if the pain actually changed any at all.  Still, it seemed like it to me.  I hated it!  I hated it!  I hated it!  And all I could do was to stay there and endure.

It was an eternity before she came back.  I knew she hadn’t been far away.  I knew she had watched me the entire time.  She knelt down next to me.  “Are you going to do everything I want, immediately, without asking questions now?” she asked.

“Uh,” was all I could say.  I couldn’t nod my head to give her an answer that way.

“You better!” she replied threateningly.  Then she added insult to the injury.  “Oh, and in case you’re wondering, you earned yourself another day in chastity.  That means it doesn’t come off until next Saturday now.  Saturday night!”

Ugh!

Her hand came up to my nose and I felt her lifting the clamp off the bracket.  That movement alone caused me more pain.  But then it was free and she began twisting it to loosen the clamp.  The moment it was free, I backed away and climbed to my knees, still sobbing like a baby.  I had only one thing on my mind, running to my bedroom, and laying face down on my bed to cry, but my intentions were momentarily interrupted by that same dreaded oddball sound of the timer on the phone dinging.

“Pooping time!” she announced before I could take a step.

Once again I started to push on my system to empty it in a way I didn’t want.  But I barely started when she suddenly said, “Wait!”

I stopped, wondering what now?

“Hold on a second,” she said.

I could see she was considering something.  Whatever it was, I had no doubt I wasn’t going to like it. 

“I think I want to make a small change to what you’re doing,” she told me.

A change?  The only change I wanted was to not do it at all!  Oh, and to get my messy diaper changed…messy baby diaper changed.  We can’t forget that now, can we.

“Okay,” she said.  “I think I want you to pause for a little bit in the middle.”  I wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted, but she suddenly said, “Get ready…go!”  And then she started counting.  “One, two, three…”

I pushed, trying to once again mess myself worse than I already was.  She had said she could tell when I was doing it, and after what she had just done to me, I was going to do whatever she wanted.

As soon as she got to fifteen, she said, “Stop!”

I gratefully stopped, especially since I had been about to drop a load, but I heard her counting again.   She got to five then said, “Go!”  Once again she started counting…and I started pushing…and the shit started coming…and she started laughing while she kept counting.  When she got to fifteen, she told me I could stop again, but I couldn’t stop.  I wasn’t finished messing myself.

“That’s the way I want you to do it from now on,” she told me.  “Every half hour you try to mess yourself twice like that.  Fifteen seconds of pushing, then five seconds to rest, then another fifteen seconds of pushing.  And of course, every hour on the hour you can follow that up with your baby pacifier exercise.”  She suddenly seemed very happy.  “Yeah,” she said.  “I think that should work out perfectly.”  As she walked off, she called behind her.  “You’re lucky,” she said.  “There’s only a little while left before two o’clock, when I can change you.  Enjoy Gramps.  Enjoy!”

And she was gone.  Yeah, I wanted to kill that woman!

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, when she changed me at two o’clock, the pants came off along with the plastic pants, and they stayed off so she could see my diaper again.  That night when we walked the backyard together, when the phone dinged again, I had to try to poop in my diaper while we walked.

The woman was simply impossible!  Not to mention unrelenting.

What was I going to do?  Darn woman!