Thursday, December 30, 2010

Borrowed Time

Tomorrow, New Year’s Eve, will mark the one-year anniversary of my heart attack. Since then, my life has changed a lot.

Where my time to be Karen and write used to be early in the mornings, that time is now taken up with fairly strenuous exercise – exercise that slowly get’s more intense each week.
Our house no longer belongs to just my wife and I. We share it with family. Sometimes a lot of family!

And lately, I’ve been more aware of my own mortality than ever before. All the little aches and dizziness only serve to remind me that I’m living on borrowed time. But then for that matter, I guess we all are. I’m simply more aware of it now and I can appreciate more the love that is around me.

As to this latest story that we’re working on together (The Bet), it’s become something of an obsession for me. I think about it a lot. I dream about it at night too. I know there has been some discussion as to the length of the chapters, but I’m not going to be making any changes to the way I write it – what comes out, comes out.
I used to think that breaking a story like this up into small packages was not a good thing, but lately, I’ve kind of changed my mind. The story is long and complicated. And the small pieces that I post each week give readers something to look forward to that can be read in only a short sitting. Since I’ve started this project, I’ve only gone back and re-read three or four chapters back to back a few times – hoping that everything hangs together okay. I haven’t done that now for a very long time because I’m too busy writing to take that much time. So I’m hoping that everything is making sense – and I’m praying that I’m not forgetting too many details.
I still have sixty-five total chapters planned for this effort. So you’re not quite to the half-way point yet. It’s taken a very long time to write and post this much, so you all have a lot to look forward to in the future.

My mind does tire of the one story occasionally, and I sometimes have to abandon it temporarily to get some other ideas down in writing. I’ve been going through such a phase for the past month (don’t worry, I’m still way ahead of you as far as this story is concerned). In the past month, I’ve added several more chapters to the one book my wife knows I’m writing – book two of a sword and sorcery novel. I’ve started a new book that is based around an FBI investigation. And lately I’ve been delving deeply into another story that involves humiliation and high heels and… well, you get the picture. By my count, I am now writing six separate books! All of which are rolling around in my warped brain. It’s amazing that I can keep any of it separate! But the strange truth is, that the more I write, the more I want to write. In fact, I really don’t want to do anything else. Many times, I’ve resented having to stop writing to do something – important. Who would have ever guessed that I used to absolutely hate writing?

Anyway… back to my original topic. Since the year is coming to a close and so is the first anniversary of my brush with death, I wanted to take a moment to reflect back over the past year. I recommend that you all take a good look at what you’ve been through. The time we have on this earth is relatively short, and it grows shorter every day. As I said before, we’re all on borrowed time.

Therefore, I’d like to say a very special thank you to everyone who has stood by me, and sent me well-wishes, or even just hung around to read the tripe that I compose. You all mean the world to me. I only wish I could express my gratitude better.

So as this year draws to a close, my New Year wishes for all of you are:
To laugh heartier and more than ever before
To dare to dream bigger than ever before
To go after something you’ve always wanted, but never had the courage
To love more passionately than you’ve ever loved
To recognize the good things around you and stop to appreciate them
And to realize that life is a precious gift… and to appreciate that gift.

Bless you, each and every one!


Anonymous said...

What you share is wonderful and appreciated. May you live forever.


Anonymous said...

Hi Karen
As one who enjoys your stories so much can I wish you good health, calm waters and the opportunity to indulge your passion for writing.
All the Best for 2011 and beyond.


Anonymous said...

Hi Karen,
It is good to know that despite, or maybe because of you heart attack, you are living life not hiding from it. I want to my add my thanks for your great story, and wishes for a healthy, happy and productive New Year.