by Karen Singer
Chapter 39 (Tuesday – week 6 Part 3 of 8)
The waitress delivered two cups of coffee, checked to see if they needed anything else till their lunch arrived, then left. “So how are things going today with Chad?” Gloria asked. “Any better than yesterday?”
Mel nodded as she took a sip of her coffee. “Yeah. Today, so far, it’s been a lot better. But mostly because I don’t seem to be in such a bad mood as I was yesterday.”
“Is your… period over?”
Mel shook her head and held up two fingers. “Only day two.”
“But you’re controlling your moods better today.”
“Yeah – so far, anyway. But last night…” She shook her head and set her coffee cup carefully back down on the table. “I’m afraid I lost it last night… and I mean… I really lost it.”
Gloria said nothing. She just sat back to listen. So often, listening was the best thing she could do.
“You know… I punish him once in a while. Okay, sometimes I punish him a lot… sometimes, not so much. Well, yesterday, like I said before, I had been in a bad mood all day, and I guess I kind of went out of my way to find things to punish him for. But then, last night, when I actually got down to it, it was like… like… I don’t know! Suddenly all the frustrations and everything else just kind of got to me. And I’m afraid I really laid into him like I’ve never done before. And I mean, I really went at it! He was still having trouble sitting down when I saw him this morning.”
“So you punished him a bit.”
“More than a bit!”
“Did you hurt him? I mean, did you really hurt him – beyond the fact that he’s having a bit of trouble sitting down today?”
Mel had to think about that. “I guess… probably no.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“I lost it. I totally lost control!”
“Married people often argue. Sometimes it can get pretty violent.”
“Uh… We’re not married! Remember?”
“But the point is the same. You’re together all the time. You both have kind of a… vested interest in each other.”
“But we’re not married!”
“No, I didn’t say you were. But the principle still applies.”
Mel wasn’t at all sure what she was talking about. “What principle?”
“That you’re eventually going to start expressing your frustrations at each other.”
“I did more than ‘express my frustrations’ last night!”
“Maybe. Or maybe it was just your ‘method’ of expressing them.”
Mel shook her head. “I still don’t think that’s it.”
“So what’s really your problem? I mean – what’s ‘really’ it?”
Mel sighed. “I guess… I don’t know.” She shook her head, then she looked up at Gloria. “You want to know what it is? And I’m not sure this is really it mind you, but… I think I’m afraid of losing him. I’m afraid I may chase him away if I ever do that again - even though when I win this thing he’s… sort of… going to be bound to me by the terms of the bet. And I know it’s silly, but… that’s just what I feel. I guess I’m a bit worried about it. I don’t know how to handle situations like this. I’m not really a violent person, I don’t go around hitting people all the time – in fact never… till this bet started, anyway. And… and… well… sometimes, I almost think I enjoy punishing him… hitting him – when I do it right that is. I mean, I’m not one of those professional… dominatrix women. I have no real clue as to what I’m doing. I’m just making everything up as I go. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or what’s supposed to happen next!”
“You said you’re afraid of losing him. But does he seem satisfied with the way things have been going between you?”
Mel just stared at her for a moment. “I don’t know. He never says anything.”
“Have you asked him lately?”
“Why should I? As far as he’s concerned, it doesn’t really matter.”
“It probably matters to him.”
“But the terms of the bet…”
“Forget the bet! Look, underneath all his makeup, and underneath the dresses you’ve got him in, and underneath… everything else, he’s still a person. And people have thoughts and feelings. And like it or not, those feeling are important. If you really are afraid of losing him, like you said, then wouldn’t it make sense to find out what he’s thinking? If you’ll remember, we went through this a while back. You said he seemed to be satisfied then. But does he still feel that way now? It doesn’t matter if you’re a professional at that stuff or not. What matters is what each of you think about it! Is it meeting the needs that each of you have? You can’t just assume you know how he feels and you can’t pretend that it doesn’t matter – just because of the silly terms of your bet. You have to talk to him!”
Mel wasn’t sure what to think. “Why can’t you just find out for me when we meet on Thursday night?”
Gloria shook her head. “You’ve got to find out for yourself – personally. And he’s got to know you’re asking about it. He’s got to see that you care!”
“Of course I care! He knows that!”
“But does he?”
Mel had no true answer.
Chad sat down heavily in his chair the moment he got back from lunch. He ignored the slight stinging pain that erupted in his backside and just let the tingling subside on its own. At least it was feeling a bit better now. He had wolfed down only half of an extra large burger and a few fries during lunch. He only ate half because that’s all he could manage to eat before he got completely full. But at least it wasn’t baby food and at least it was something solid that he could chew and at least it actually tasted pretty good!
He was still fuming over the fact that Cassie had let the receptionist in to see her changing his diapers. In fact, he was fuming over the fact that she had let her help! How could she? But she had… and that was all there was to it he supposed. He dreaded more than ever going back to the gym tomorrow. Even if Cindy didn’t come in to see him get changed tomorrow, she would probably make his life even more unendurable!
Speaking of unendurable… He looked around towards the wall between his cubicle and Robin’s. He could just hear her talking on her phone, probably to her husband. He felt safe enough. He opened up the spreadsheet where he kept his progress for the bet.
He found the row for today’s date and saw that there was still another twenty-four days to go. Today it didn’t feel like that number was dropping very fast at all. He went up to yesterday’s date to fill in how long he had managed to hold back. He paused to think. What should he put there? He wanted to be honest – if only to track his progress seriously – or lack thereof as now seemed to be happening. Yesterday he had put down 18 and a half minutes under last Friday’s date. But yesterday… With a small sigh, he filled in eleven minutes. Eleven minutes and that was all! Horrible! But to be perfectly honest, that was the best he had managed to do yesterday. The weekend had taken way too much of a toll on his system. In fact, yesterday it had taken him quite a while just to even realize when he had to go – before it was coming out of him. Yes, last weekend was not so good.
But today… today was defiantly looking better! He was already up to ten minutes and it was always in the afternoons when he made his most progress. Yes, tomorrow he was sure he would finally be able to post some progress in the right direction again!
The hallway seemed a bit more crowded than usual as Chad and Robin headed toward the break room. Sometimes it got that way. But the extra people didn’t seem to be bothering Chad as much as they used to. He guessed it was because he was getting more and more used to being dressed like he was around everybody… and in truth, mostly, everybody had been fairly accepting. The line for coffee was moderately long. As he waited behind Robin, he glanced around the room, looking for Derek. He didn’t see his friend anywhere – which wasn’t unusual. Derek’s job kept him away from the company often.
Once he got his coffee, he followed Robin back over to the table full of women. For once, as he sat down, he wasn’t the center of attention – or their teasing. In fact, he was mostly ignored as they discussed kids and family problems. Chad really wasn’t all that interested, but he was enjoying the nice quiet break away from stress. That is… till he suddenly felt a hand land on his shoulder and everyone was suddenly silent as they looked up behind him. He turned quickly and saw George standing there.
“Hey Cha… I mean, Sissy. I just wanted to check to see if you and your lady friend are still coming tonight.”
Chad nodded. “As far as I know… I mean definitely. We’ll be there.”
“And you’re still bringing some beer?”
“Yes, we’re planning on it. Is anybody new going to be there?”
George shook his head, “No, just me, you and your friend, Derek, Ray, and Steve.”
Chad nodded, the same list of people. “Okay. No problem. We’ll see you later.”
George just nodded. Then he nodded goodbye to all the women who were watching them. “See you.”
“I’ll bet you’re excited about seeing Derek again later!” Robin teased. “I noticed you looking for him earlier when we came in.”
Things had been going so smoothly before George had walked up. Chad had no doubts that they were about to take a turn for the worse.
“Hey Sissy… Have you thought anymore about what you’re going to wear? Something sexy for Derek?”
Chad just shook his head. And so it begins… again!
Robin ducked her head into Chad’s cubicle as she was leaving for the day. Chad was just shutting down his computer. “Bye Sissy. Have fun tonight.” Then she put a teasing smile on her face. “And I expect to hear all the lurid details tomorrow!”
Chad actually blushed. “Lurid… It’s just a poker game!” But in the back of his mind, he was thinking about all the things that he was sure Mel had planned for him – lurid might be right!
“Sure!” Robin teased. But before she could say anything else, they were interrupted by the sound of Sissy’s cell phone ringing. She watched as he dug it quickly out of his purse. She wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw a slight look of alarm on his face as he looked to see who was calling.
Chad looked up at Robin before he spoke. “Hello?” he said, already knowing full well that it was Mel who was calling. He just couldn’t use his sissy voice with Robin standing there.
“Sissy!” Mel’s voice returned angrily after a slight pause. “Didn’t I beat you bad enough last night for not speaking right?”
Robin was in a hurry – she couldn’t stay to hear more. “I’ve got to go,” she whispered while Sissy was still talking. “See you tomorrow!” And then she hurried away.
Chad returned his attention back to Mel on the phone. As he searched for an appropriate answer, Mel began speaking again. “Who was that?” she asked.
“Robin was just leaving,” he replied softly, this time in his sissy voice since he was now alone. “He was tempted to add that she was leaving to go to the gym, but it was only he who really cared about that problem.”
“Robin again?” Mel had been feeling fairly good all day till now. But she wasn’t about to let Robin spoil things for her now – Chad talking in the wrong voice either. “Listen,” she said to him. “When you get home, get cleaned up. Make sure there’s no nasty hair sticking out anywhere – shave again if you have to – all over! Call me the minute you get ready to put your diaper on. I should be home by then.”
“Yes, Mistress,” Chad replied, suppressing a sigh.
“Plan to fix something quick and easy for dinner tonight since we’re going out and we’ve got to get you ready.”
“That should be no problem,” Sissy replied. Get him ready? He noticed that she didn’t include herself in that. Things definitely didn’t sound good for him.
“And Sissy,” Mel continued, “we’ll have to deal with you not speaking correctly once again tonight! Like it or not!”
“Yes, Mistress,” Chad replied again, this time unable to repress his sigh.
Robin hurried into the locker room to change into her workout outfit. The locker room was fairly crowded – and it stunk a bit. But that was so often the case with locker rooms – unfortunately. It wasn’t really her purpose in being at the gym, but she figured that a few questions about something couldn’t hurt. She turned towards several of the women who were dressing nearby. “Have any of you heard anything about the guy who comes here to use the gym at lunchtime every day?”
Most of the women shook their heads. One woman asked if she was serious since this was a women’s only gym. But another one said, “I think I heard something about it, or at least that there was a guy here once. But since I don’t come that early, I really can’t say. You should ask Darla. She might know.”
“Darla?” Robin asked. “Is she here?”
The woman looked around. “I don’t see her yet. But that’s not unusual, she often gets here late.”
Robin didn’t know who Darla was, but she figured it shouldn’t be all that difficult to find out. Once they were in the aerobics room, she positioned herself near the woman who had mentioned her name. She asked the woman if she saw Darla yet. The woman looked around then just shook her head.
If anything, the aerobic workout was even harder on Robin than it had been the week before – even though she was fairly sure that it was mostly the same routines. She was just feeling it more. During the class, she noticed two women who came in late. She hoped one of them was Darla.
At the end of class, Robin was not only sweating and panting hard, she felt positively faint. But she still had the determination to ask the woman which of the newcomers was Darla. The woman looked around but shook her head. “She didn’t show tonight, which is rare for her.”
Robin was too tired to care that much. She was getting nowhere! Well, almost nowhere. At least now she had the name of someone who would know something.