By Karen Singer
Chapter 61(Wednesday – week 9 Part 7 of 8)
By the time they finally reached the last store in the mall, Mel’s feet were killing her. She was seriously wondering what she had been thinking when she decided to dress the way she did – for Sissy’s benefit! She just hoped he appreciated it… at least on some level. She had planned on keeping Sissy out in the public spotlight all day long, and possibly well into the evening as well, but right now, her feet hurt from the extra high heels she was wearing and she was getting tired. The shoes certainly weren’t made for a lot of walking!
She stopped just outside the door to the last store in the mall and looked back at Sissy. His arms were overly loaded with packages of things she had bought for herself. Enough so that he was having trouble holding it all and still managing to drink from his bottle as well. “What say we just go home,” she said to him.
Chad noticed that Mel sounded a bit weary. He was weary himself, more so than he let on. Trying to lug everything around all day had been tiring. Not to mention having to “perform” for a few thousand people as well. And just being out in public took a lot out of him. He curtseyed – naturally. “Anything you like Mistress.” Curtsey.
Mel didn’t know whether to smile or roll her eyes. Ignoring the final shop that she would have walked into and probably walked right back out of again, she turned and headed out the door for the parking lot instead. And Chad mentally cheered. He was ever so glad to dump all the bags in the back seat and sit down for a while, even though he still had to keep his baby bottle in his mouth. He was hardly drinking from it anyway. He hadn’t been for much of the day. Just little sips here and there. The bottles still seem to get empty fairly fast though. He simply didn’t know why.
They made one last stop on the way home, and that was at the dry cleaners to pick up Sissy’s pink dress. Mel followed Sissy inside where she got to witness him curtseying about half a dozen times for all the different employees who kept coming out from the back room to see him. She was very surprised when the man behind the counter told Sissy he was only charging him ten dollars for the job. The store was just happy for his business and he should come back anytime. The more the better! Mel almost laughed.
As usual, there was no warning whatsoever. One minute Chad was carrying bags up the steps toward Mel’s apartment, the next, every muscle in his body was in shock as the stupid suppository that Mel had put into him earlier decided to do its business – right there on the steps. Ugh! It wasn’t until the ordeal was finally over that he was able to finish bringing up the packages from the car. Fortunately, Mel told him he could go home and shower to get cleaned up. Unfortunately, he had to make two more trips with the packages before he could do that.
The shower he took felt extra good and he lingered in it for a few extra seconds before hurrying to get himself dried off and diapered again. He quickly phoned Mel to tell her that his new diaper was in place to start his next time period, and Mel told him to come back wearing his maid’s uniform again. He was glad. It meant that they would probably be spending the rest of the day at home. Probably.
Mel was stretched out on her couch when Sissy finally came back. She was still dressed as she was earlier, except that her shoes were now in the middle of the living room floor. “Sissy!” she called as soon as Chad had closed the door behind him and stashed his purse under her table by the door. “Get over here!”
Chad hurried over to his mistress and curtseyed.
“Sit over there and rub my feet for me!”
Chad curtseyed… happily. He sat at the far end of the couch as Mel lifted her legs, then plopped them back down in his lap. He took her beautiful delicate feet in his hands and began rubbing them… massaging them. He said nothing, but he watched her face intently.
Mel’s eyes closed and her head rolled back and forth as she felt his magic hands squeezing and massaging her feet. It… felt… so… good! She didn’t bother to open her eyes again… she couldn’t. She allowed herself to sink into the total luxury of the moment. He was so good. Such wonderful hands! His touch was always so good. Even in the bath. Even in bed. The magic touch! She had to win this bet. She had to! How could she give up something as wonderful as this? And even as those thoughts ran though her mind, there was still that tiny nagging worry… was what she wanted to do with him right? The thought was there, but the sensations from Sissy’s wonderful hands pretty much drowned everything else out.
She allowed herself to wallow in the luxury for a long time before she finally opened her eyes and looked at him. He was looking right at her, watching her. He was dressed as her maid. He ‘was’ her maid. Her servant. The uniform he wore somehow suited him – perfectly! She couldn’t help it, she absolutely loved seeing him in it. And for her, the best part of seeing him dressed that way, was knowing that underneath the dress, and the makeup, and everything else, he was a man. A man she was molding to be exactly what she wanted. A man that she was denying any chance to be… manly at all.
“Did you enjoy yourself today?” she asked. “I mean… honestly. Did you enjoy being paraded all around the mall like you were – in front of so many people?”
Chad was startled by the question. He wanted to say no… he had been totally horrified by the ordeal. The proper answer though, since she was his mistress would have had to have been ‘yes.’ But she had asked for his honest opinion. Did he dare give it? But what exactly was his honest opinion? He had to think about that for a moment.
Mel saw him pausing to consider the question. “Oh come on!” she said. “I saw the way you were in the food court. I’ve seen you when you’re so totally embarrassed by what I make you do that you’re visibly squirming with embarrassment – and I know you love every minute of it! But today in the food court… you seemed… different.”
Despite himself, Chad smiled. “Yeah,” he said, remembering how he had felt like a clown… there to entertain everyone… to add some laughter and enjoyment into all their lives. He had actually felt good about it! “That was sort of… fun.”
Mel grunted. “Sort of?”
“A lot of fun,” Chad finally admitted with an embarrassed smile. Did he dare tell her what he was really thinking? Unbidden, the words tumbled out of his mouth. “Somewhere in the middle of it, I started to feel like a circus clown. Like I was there to entertain everyone, to make them laugh, to make them happy. And I… liked it.” His face turned a bit more serious. “I didn’t feel quite so… humiliated by everything then.”
Mel stared back at him for a few moments. “You ‘were’ there to entertain them… and to make them happy I guess. But I wanted you to feel totally embarrassed and humiliated by what I asked you to do.” Sadly she added. “I guess I failed.”
Chad vehemently shook his head. “No! You didn’t fail. Trust me! You didn’t fail at all! I was almost overwhelmed by the humiliation – all day! It’s just that… I guess… in that situation, with so many people around me… and they were all so close to me… and since I really had to kind of… perform for them, that… I guess I suddenly felt different about it.”
Mel thought about what he had just said. And it made perfect sense to her. His mind had gone past the humiliation. Maybe it was like a survival mechanism. Or maybe, it was just part of his oddball nature. Either way, it didn’t matter. He would always be hers to command – if she won the bet! She lifted her legs, pulling them out of his hands. “Go make me some dinner,” she told him. “Something really nice tonight. I’m getting hungry!”
Chad enjoyed making her meal – even though he himself would be eating nothing but baby food. Cooking not only gave him something fun and interesting to do, but he thoroughly enjoyed the art of it. It was something he hadn’t had much opportunity to do in a while now. And if he won this bet, it would be something he probably would rarely do again. He didn’t see himself going to all the trouble for just himself. Cooking properly was something that you did for the enjoyment of others, not just yourself.
Since he hadn’t done it in a while, and wouldn’t have much of a chance to do it in the future, he decided to go all out. The diet cookbook was never even considered. He let himself get inventive.
Mel had turned the TV on, but she wasn’t watching it. Instead, she found herself more interested in the smells coming out of the kitchen. What was he doing in there? She glanced at the clock, he was certainly taking more time than usual with her dinner. It did smell awfully good though… whatever it was that he was cooking.
Her TV show forgotten, she didn’t even realize that she had gotten to her feet until she was actually walked into the kitchen to see what was going on. He was there, bending over a plate on the counter as he artfully dribbled some kind of sauce over top of the food on the plate. “That smells… wonderful!” she exclaimed.
Chad was a bit startled to see her there. He quickly curtseyed. “It’s almost ready,” he told her quickly. “I would have called you in a minute.” Then he curtseyed again.
Mel waved her hand, letting him know that his concern was of no consequence. Instead she headed to the table and sat down. There was an empty wine glass there and a bottle of wine that had already been opened but not poured. She poured her own wine.
Chad stood perfectly still as he watched her sit down and pour her drink. He was going to do that for her. He was supposed to take care of that. But she had been early! He supposed that she didn’t care that he didn’t pour her wine for her. He quickly went back to finishing the preparations for her dinner. He added a large spoonful of bright steamed vegetables to the empty spot on the plate. There! Perfect! It looked as good as he could make it. But would she appreciate it? He could only hope. Picking up the plate, he carried it over to the table and set it in front of her with as much of a formal presentation as he knew how to make. Then he stood back, hoping she would enjoy it like he hoped she would.
Mel stared at the plate in front of her. It looked better than many of the dishes she had been served in the fanciest, most expensive restaurants. And Sissy had created it. It certainly smelled as good as it looked. Better in fact! She was about to reach for her fork, when she remembered herself. “And where do you belong while I’m eating?” she asked.
Chad groaned silently. He had put a lot of effort into that dinner. He just wanted to see if she would enjoy… any of it. But reluctantly, he headed toward his perch in the corner of the living room. He stopped only long enough to take a large swig from his baby bottle before he went. But he wasn’t drinking because he needed to, he only did it to delay the inevitable. He glanced back at Mel before walking out of the kitchen. She was still sitting there with her hands in her lap, watching him, waiting for him to be where he belonged… stuck… stuck up on his perch. Put away. Out of the way – like an unneeded appliance. Where he belonged. He was a sissy, and the one thing his perch seemed to remind him of over and over again, was that as a sissy, he didn’t belong in the middle of everything that others did. He was only there to serve them… take care of their needs… and entertain them. He was a thing for their amusement and nothing else. And it was all he deserved. And he knew, very deep down, that being treated like that, was exactly what he craved as well.
The dinner was… great! Sissy had really outdone himself this time. The guy could easily be a really good chef if he wanted, but he had trained in computers instead. She supposed that the computer work challenged that brain of his more than cooking would, and she knew now that his brain needed something to challenge it. She also figured now that much of his self-respect came from what that brain in his head was capable of doing. And once again she wondered how someone like him, someone with so much intelligence, could possible crave the kind of life he seemed to really want… and actually enjoy. As unlikely as it sounded, she was faced with the reality of it right in front of her. Intelligence and sissy yearnings were not mutually exclusive… no matter how unlikely it sounded.
As Gloria would probably point out, it all most likely came down to sex! Sex! Sex! Sex! To a psychiatrist it probably was the root of everything. Sissy just had this… unusual sexual bend in his nature. Okay, it was more than a bit unusual, but he had it never the less. And more surprisingly, she wasn’t the least bit put off by it. No, he certainly wasn’t the kind of guy she wanted to take to bed with her! But at the same time, she had been in bed with him… sort of. And he was… incredible! He had this instinct for what would please her the most. She figured that it must come from his sissy nature… from the part of him that seemed to identify more with the female side of life instead of his normal made side. As is sissy, maybe he could access that part of himself more than most men… men like Derek… or Ray.
No, she was not put off in the least by Sissy’s sexual abnormality. In fact, over the last two months she had found more and more ways to appreciate that abnormality. Sissy was a strange person for sure! But at the same time… he was a wonderful person. A person she didn’t want to lose in her future… like she would if she lost the bet. But despite all that… was it right for her to keep him? Was it right for her to force him to do whatever she wanted? Was it right for her to deny him his manhood? And was it right for her to deny him the opportunity to use that brain of his to the fullest capacity?
Was it right for her to take away… his self-respect?
Eyes closed, his calves and ankles aching slightly, his body leaning into the corner, he concentrated on how wet his diaper was. Since he had been up on his perch, he had yet to actually feel himself wetting. He knew he usually didn’t feel it anymore, most of the time now he only felt it when he was more humiliated than usual. And yet, his diapers always seemed to get wetter and wetter. Not surprising given the amount of liquids he drank every day.
Every nerve in his body suddenly went on alert as he heard Mel walking up behind him. He didn’t dare move a muscle… not that he had moved at all since he had gotten into his corner. He waited for her to say something. And waited…
“You could be a chef,” Mel said softly. “You could run the fanciest restaurant in the city… if you wanted to. But you didn’t go that direction with your life. Instead, you’re standing here, stuck up on your little perch in the corner of my living room… dressed as my maid.
“And the other day… in my office, it was you who pointed out how to find those contract anomalies. It was you who knew how to map them to show exactly what they would lead to. And yet, you spent the day today, traipsing all over the mall, dressed in the prettiest, frilliest little girl party dress imaginable.
“You’re capable of doing so much… and yet, here you stand, wearing a diaper that’s probably already close to leaking – only because you crave the humiliation that having no control will bring you.
“You can do so much… and yet… you’re willing to throw it all away… only because deep inside… down to your very core… you realize that you’re nothing but a sissy. It amazes me – constantly.”
Chad listened to her every word. How could he not? But why was she telling him things he already knew? Why? Did she have to rub his failures in his face? Because that was how he saw the sissy side of him. It was his failure side. Totally!
Mel took another sip from the wine glass in her hand. “So what am I going to do with you?” she asked. “We’ve been at this little game now for two months, and I’ve learned things about myself I never knew. Important things! And I have no doubt that you must have learned some rather important things about yourself as well.”
Chad could only agree with that. He’d had an awful lot of time to do nothing but think about matters – especially when he was stuck here on his perch.
“So we come down to the end of it all,” Mel continued. “Tomorrow will be the last day that you will remain under my control… unless you lose this bet… which I’m still fairly sure you will. At least… I’m hoping you will.” She took another sip of the wine. “But what about you? Do you still think you’re going to win? Do you still crave the life you thought you did when this all started?”
Chad would have answered her, but in his current place on his perch, he didn’t think she was looking for a verbal answer from him. Not just then anyway.
“I have to tell you,” Mel said. “The few simple things we discussed… two months ago… before we signed that contract… all of them seem so… vague to me now. I’ve had a lot of time to think about things. A lot of time to learn things about myself. And a lot of time to learn things about you. Do I still want you to serve me for a full year if I win?” She leaned in closer to his head and whispered. “Yes! More than ever!”
Her words and her wine scented breath sent a chill down his spine. But was it a chill of delight? Or terror?
“But I find myself now with… other questions too. Questions that I have to sort out for myself. And I won’t ask you now, but it seems I keep wondering about things. What do you think now? Are you still willing to throw even more of your life away as the bet stipulates when you lose? Will you hate me just that much more? I want to ask, but I won’t ask. I have my reasons.”
She walked away from him, leaving him stuck there on his perch. The reason she didn’t want to ask the questions now, was because she was too afraid of what he might tell her. Too afraid! And she left him on his perch… where he couldn’t say anything, because she didn’t want to give him the opportunity just now to answer. She was… too afraid.
Mel looked up from her laptop and automatically checked the clock. It was the longest he had gone yet today before he started leaking, yet it still earned him another minute of reward time. Time that she fully intended to ignore tonight. “Get yourself out of that corner and get changed. Your next time limit has already started. “And hurry up! I’ll get your dinner ready.” Five minutes later, she was securing him in his highchair and tying a bib around his neck.
Chad wondered if he dare say anything. She didn’t seem to want him to talk to her about the things she had mentioned earlier when he had still been in the corner. But… “Mistress,” he began.
“If you’re going to say anything about what I said earlier… then don’t!” Mel replied quickly. Her voice softened. “But if it’s anything else…” She saw him look down at the tray in front of him and sadly shake his head. Good! She still wasn’t ready for what he might say. It was better to do something that would keep her busy instead… keep them both busy. A few minutes later, she herself fed him like the overgrown baby that he was instead of letting him play with the ridiculous tiny spoon and his food. Why was she so afraid of what he might say?
When dinner was over, she let him loose to clean up the kitchen. “Let me know when you’re done,” she instructed. She went back to the living room where she picked up her laptop again and tried to do some work. Why was she so afraid?