By Karen Singer
Chapter 63 (Friday – week 9 Part 2 of 3)
Mel wandered aimlessly around her apartment. There wasn’t anything she could concentrate on, mostly because she couldn’t stop thinking about Chad… Sissy… Chad. Had he regained his control yet? Was he even awake yet for that matter? Once again she was tempted to call him, and once again she realized that she shouldn’t. Instead of wandering one more time around her apartment, she opened her door and went out to the balcony instead. No sign of him, and his car was still down below. So he was either still asleep or he hadn’t bothered to come out yet – not that he had any reason to come outside.
What was he doing in there? Frustrated, she leaned over the railing to watch the few cars going in and out.
Why couldn’t he just lose?
Before going down to his car, he found his wallet. He had to pull everything out of his female wallet in his purse and transfer it all to his old male wallet. No more carrying a purse! Hooray! Some of the things from his purse wound up in the pockets of his too large pants. There were a few things left that he was tempted to stuff in his pockets as well, but they were things he had never carried before – as a man, so he left them.
He took stock of himself. Hair combed – check. Earrings removed – check. Male shirt, with no boobs underneath – check. Male pants and a belt to hold them up – check. Male shoes and socks – check. Wallet and keys in their proper pockets – check. And two diapers underneath, already fairly wet – also check. He’d start thinking about controlling himself right after breakfast. But right now, he was just too hungry. He opened the door and went out.
Mel turned at the sudden sound of his door opening. And there – he – was. Looking… strange! She smiled. “Morning,” she said.
Chad was surprised to see Mel outside. He could tell that she had been just standing there looking at the parking lot below. She had dressed very casually he could tell, but her hair seemed to look particularly good today. She looked – great! “Morning,” he replied casually.
She stared at him. She wanted to laugh, but she dared not. His clothes didn’t fit! They were all too big! He looked – ridiculous – and not in the ridiculous way he used to look – as a sissy. But she steeled herself and said nothing about it. Had he regained his control yet? She wanted to ask so badly, but she dared not. Let’s just keep this… casual.
“I was just going out to get something to eat,” he said.
She smiled again. “Want some company?”
“Sure!” he said gladly. He waited as she went back inside and grabbed her purse. It didn’t take her long at all before she was back and locking her door behind her.
“Want to take my car?” he offered.
She considered it. “No. We can take mine. Face it, mine’s a lot more comfortable.”
“No argument there,” he replied as he started down the steps.
She followed, but her eyes were on his butt the whole way. Was he wearing diapers under those pants, or regular men’s underwear? She couldn’t really tell – not with as big as those pants appeared to be on him. Geez! Had he really lost that much weight? But she had known beforehand that he had. It was just now, now that he was wearing his old clothes again, that it became so obvious as to how much he had really lost.
Chad was a little disappointed. She hadn’t said one word about the fact that he was dressed as a man again. Not one word! Okay, he knew his clothes didn’t exactly fit and they didn’t look very good, but she still could have said… something.
“Do you want to eat there, or just bring it home?” Mel asked.
“Let’s eat there,” Chad suggested. “I don’t have a table at my place.”
“I’ve got one at mine,” she replied.
“I know, but I think I’d rather just eat out this time.”
Was he afraid to come to her place for some reason? Did he secretly hate her that much that he didn’t want to set foot in her apartment again? Silly thinking she knew, but she couldn’t help thinking it.
Instead of fast-food, Mel drove them to a nicer diner. She let him open the door for her to enter first – like a gentleman. They took seats across from each other in one of the booths.
This would be his first breakfast without eating baby food in a long time. Chad ordered pancakes, two eggs, bacon, sausage, and biscuits. Mel ordered one fried egg and some bacon and toast… and coffee of course. Chad added coffee to his order too.
Talk was sparse while they waited, as if neither of them knew what to talk about – or as if they were afraid to talk about anything they really wanted to discuss. After their coffee came, Mel asked if he had unpacked the boxes yet.
“Some of them,” Chad replied. “But I’ve opened and gone through everything.”
“Anything missing?” Mel asked – knowing that there shouldn’t be.
“Not that I can tell,” Chad replied.
“Do you have everything put away yet?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Not yet. I unpacked and hung up my pants, but everything else is still in the boxes. I don’t really have any place else to put most of it.”
She nodded. But then that was what some of this bet was about. If he won, she would buy him an entire apartment full of new furniture – and a few other things as well. A pool table? Whatever.
Not knowing what else to say, they both lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.
Breakfast was delivered, one plate for Mel, two for Chad. They both started in hungrily. Chad went from breakfast item to breakfast item, greedily sampling everything, enjoying not just the chance to eat normal food again, but also the fact that he could chew it as well as eat it in bigger bites since he could use a normal fork – like a grown-up. And despite the fact that he had two plates piled high with food while Mel had only one, Chad was finished eating first. Not because all his food was gone, but because his stomach was totally full! As much as he hated it, Chad had to push both his plates away while they were still somewhat loaded with food, and sit there and sip his coffee while Mel finished her breakfast.
The waitress came over and refilled their coffee cups. “Is something wrong with your breakfast?” she asked, her voice full of concern.
“No,” Chad was forced to admit. “I’m afraid my eyes were bigger than my stomach.” He got a rather strange look from the waitress for that, as if she didn’t believe him. But then, he had ordered an awful lot. The awkward silence continued as he sipped his coffee while Mel finished her breakfast.
Mel knew it was time to leave, she had finished eating and he had been just sitting there waiting on her… even though it hadn’t really taken her that long to eat. But as she ate, she had watched him drinking his coffee – two cups now. He was used to drinking a rather fantastic amount of liquid every day to keep him peeing. How would those two cups of coffee affect him? Did he need to pee yet? Did he even know if he had to pee yet? Or did he have full control – enough that he could make it home again before going to the bathroom. She noticed that he hadn’t gotten up to use the restroom at the restaurant – yet.
“Ready?” Chad asked as she finally finished.
As much as Mel knew it was time to leave, she delayed. “Would you mind,” she said, “if we just sat here and had one more cup of coffee? I don’t think I’m ready to go home and face my empty apartment yet.” It wasn’t the real reason of course. She was just hoping that all the extra liquid in his system might work against him. If she couldn’t do it with baby bottles, she would do it any way she could.
Empty apartment? Despite how awkward breakfast had been, Chad agreed. They waited for the waitress to come close enough so they could ask for more coffee. They waited longer till she actually brought it – she brewed a fresh pot – according to her. And once they had their coffee, they both sipped it and stared at each other in awkward silence.
“Your apartment feels empty?” he finally asked, not knowing what else to say.
It was a moment before she could answer. “Yeah. Believe it or not. I miss having you around. I really missed having you there this morning! I had to make my own coffee!”
Chad smiled. “Awww,” he said teasingly. “But it’s nice to know I’m missed. Want me to come by later and keep you company?”
It was a rather strange conversation… as if they were two people who barely knew each other. “That would be nice,” she replied. “So you still haven’t put your stuff away yet?”
“Just my pants,” he replied. “As I said, I don’t know where to put all the other stuff.”
“You’ve got drawers in those cardboard dressers,” she reminded him.
“Yeah, but they’re full already.”
She didn’t say it, but those drawers were all full of his girly and baby stuff. Obviously he wasn’t interested in tossing them aside in favor of his old male clothes instead. “How about your closet?” she asked. “I’m sure you’ve still got some room in there. You used to keep your shirts all hung up as well as your pants.”
“I just haven’t gotten to them yet,” Chad replied. “I’ll do it when I get home.”
She nodded and sipped at her coffee. “Want some help?” she asked. Her real motive was that she wanted an excuse to stay with him… to watch him.
He shrugged. “If you want.”
Yes! She felt a bit relieved. And three cups of coffee and he still hadn’t gone to the men’s room. She herself was starting to feel the urge to pee.
Coffee finished, they got up from their seats to each pay their bill. Chad had a moment of panic as he realized something was missing and quickly turned back to find his purse – before remembering he didn’t have one. Dumb! Getting his wallet out of his back pocket to pay for his breakfast seemed to be a bit awkward for Chad – probably because his pants were too big.
Neither of them bothered to speak all the way home. After she parked her car, she purposely delayed a moment so that she would follow him up the stairs. Again she couldn’t tell if he was wearing diapers under his pants or not, but now she suspected that he was. It was just hard to tell since his pants, all his clothes really, were so big on him. Why can’t he just lose? That way he wouldn’t have to worry about buying any new clothes.
Instead of going to her apartment first, she waited with him while he opened his door and went inside. His barren apartment still looked barren despite the additional boxes now cluttering up his living room floor. She set her purse down and wandered around a few of the open boxes, just peering inside. All his stuff. All his stuff that she had boxed up and taken away from him because it was all masculine and she had denied him anything masculine – for a long time. It was all over now of course, unless he somehow lost this bet.
“Let me move some stuff around in my closet,” he said as he headed toward his bedroom. “I might as well organize it now.”
She followed him. His blow-up mattress on the floor wasn’t made up. It was just a jumble of little girl sheets. He opened his closet and she stared into it from behind him. His old male pants seemed very much out of place amid all the feminine finery that now occupied most of the closet. Especially since they were right next to his beautiful sissy dresses. A big contrast!
She felt the urge to pee again, but she ignored it. How about him? Did he have to pee yet? She had just watched him drink three cups of coffee. But he wasn’t exactly acting very concerned about it… yet.
She watched as Chad moved all his silly sissy dresses to the back of the closet, making a lot of room where he could put his shirts. “Want me to get some of your shirts for you?” she offered.
“Sure,” Chad replied as he continued to move some of his other clothes – female clothes, around.
She went back to his living room and found a box with some of his shirts. Some of them were wrapped in plastic, some weren’t. She grabbed an armful of ones that weren’t wrapped and carried them into his bedroom. The effort of lifting them reminded her that she needed to pee. She ignored it again – for now.
One at a time, Chad took the shirts from her and hung them up. Then they both went back to the living room for more. But on the way, Mel stopped in his bathroom to pee. She never got fully into it before she saw that his toilet was still totally sealed under all the plastic wrap she had put on it – so long ago now. He hadn’t even unsealed it yet! Why? She reversed course and went back out. She would have to hold it for a little while longer. Chad, his back to her, was busy with one of the boxes. It looked like he didn’t even notice that she had gone into his bathroom.
One more trip with clothes to his closet, then Mel excused herself… she really did have to pee, and doing it in his apartment was definitely out. The problem was, she didn’t want to leave and be parted from him. She wanted to stay with him as much as possible to see how he was doing. But she had no excuse… except… “Hey Chad,” she said. “All these clothes have been boxed up for a long time. Maybe you should wash some of them before you try to wear them again.”
Chad looked at her. He hadn’t thought of that but it did sound like a very good idea. “Would you mind?” he asked.
“Not at all,” she replied. “I need to get back to my place. Just come in when you’re ready. You can use the washer all you want.”
“Thanks,” he replied with a smile.
She grabbed her purse and hurried out. She really did need to pee! And the one big thing on her mind… he didn’t act like he needed to pee at all! He hadn’t even unsealed his toilet! Was she winning? It was too soon to tell.
Chad loaded his clothes into Mel’s washer. As he did so, he reflected on the fact that the small easy task was certainly a lot easier to do this time without having to hold a baby bottle in his mouth. As he finished loading the batch of clothes, he glanced over at Mel. She was watching him again. She was on the couch with her laptop in her lap, but every time he had looked at her, she had been watching him instead of doing any work. He added some detergent, closed the machine, set the controls, and turned it on. He looked back towards Mel… and didn’t see her. Where was she? Not that it really mattered.
Having nothing better to do for a few minutes, he leaned back against the washer… and tried to think. What was he doing? The morning was mostly gone now and he hadn’t even started to try to regain his control. Why? But the reason for not doing it was a very confusing issue to him just then, an issue that had somewhat been on his mind since he woke up that morning, but he subconsciously put off thinking about it or examining it. Getting dressed had given him a reason not to think about it. Going out for breakfast had been another chance to put it off. He had just put it off a few minutes longer by getting his laundry started. But now he had nothing to do for a while and he no longer had a reason not to think about it. What was he doing? Why had he not even tried to regain his control yet? Not… even... tried!
But the nebulous strings of the reason were there, if he had the courage to grab them – and seriously look at them. And he wasn’t sure if he might simply be afraid to look at what he knew could possibly be… the truth.
Why can’t you just lose? He had been haunted by that question since she had said it last night. It was the very thing that Andrea had suggested before too. But that wasn’t really it. That wasn’t a reason. His mind played back one of his most cherished memories, and oddly, one of his most recent. That night when they had lain in her bed and he had made love to her again. He had been blindfolded of course. Never once had he ever seen her naked body, nor should he. He was a sissy. He didn’t deserve that privilege. But the thing was, there had been so much affection between them that night – affection that he felt coming from her as much as he tried to express how he felt about her. And that was really it in a nutshell. He had feelings for her. More than that, he worshiped her.
They had been, not just thrown together, but locked together for two full months now. There was not a single day that they had been apart. And she had pushed his buttons! Oh, the things she had made him do! Terrible things! Amazing things! Incredible things! Humiliation beyond belief! And as bad as all the humiliation had been… as bad as the punishments he had endured as well… he had loved every single moment of it. Absolutely loved it!
For two full months he had lived a dream that very few others could even conceive. And in that two months, he had done more than that, he had given himself over to her – completely – body and soul. He had allowed himself to surrender totally to her will. As amazing and unbelievable as that now sounded, he had done exactly that. And in return she had given him… pain… and torment… and horrible humiliation… and… and… Flashes of them making love in bed together played thorough his mind. And… and… It all started to fall in place for him. She had given him someone to love – her. She had given him… his dream… and then some. Everything and more than his wildest fantasies. Including… someone he could care about again.
Why can’t you just lose? Was it possible? Could it be? Did he dare hope? Did she… did she feel the same way about him as he did about her? It was nonsense! There was no way she could! He was a sissy! A stupid worthless sissy! He wasn’t what she liked in a man! He certainly wasn’t what she would need in a man! But… but was it possible that she… loved… him too?
And that was the very root of why he couldn’t move forward and regain his control. Confusion. Because if she did feel for him like he felt for her, then losing the bet would be the best thing he could ever do. Losing the bet would let them stay together… possibly… dare he think it… forever! And yet… He was a sissy. He wasn’t what she liked in a man. He had seen that time and time again. She had practically rubbed his nose in it.
And so… he remained… confused. And because of that confusion, he didn’t know if he should… or maybe he simply couldn’t – find the will – or the nerve, to put forth the little bit of effort it would take to regain all his control and win the bet. Did she love him? Or not?
Her abrupt appearance and question brought him back to reality. She was coming out of the kitchen with coffee cups in each hand. He smiled and took one. “Thanks.” He took a big gulp and winced in pain as the very hot liquid burned his tongue. “Ouch! It’s hot!”
“It’s supposed to be hot!” She replied. Then she smiled. “I’ve still got plenty of bottles of tea in the refrigerator if you’d rather have one of those.”
Chad shook his head. “No thanks. This will do just fine.”
Mel didn’t really care – as long as he just drank something. Was she winning? She had no way of knowing at all. But not once yet had he even asked about the bathroom. Her hopes were starting to go up. But… it was awfully early yet to get too confident. She just wished she could know for sure what was going on with him – one way or another!
She looked at the pile of laundry on the floor still waiting to be put into the washer. It looked like all shirts and a few pairs of pants. Not a lot of stuff. “What do you have in the washer now?” she asked, more for something to say than anything else.
“Just a few shirts and t-shirts. Underwear. I figured I’d take care of those first.”
She nodded as she took another sip of her coffee. She desperately wanted to ask him about his control, but something was holding her back, and she wasn’t sure what it was. All the time she had spent with him today had almost seemed… surreal – so different than their relationship in the past. And it was hard to figure out how to handle it… and not cross the imaginary line that marked the boundary between a normal friendship and a mistress – submissive relationship.
“You know,” she said after a few moments of more awkward silence, “you’re welcome to spend all day right here if you want. I mean, you don’t have any furniture at your place. Not much of anything else either.”
Chad thought about that for a moment. “Thanks,” he replied. “If you don’t mind, I just may.”
“Good,” she said out loud, with more emphasis than she intended. With that problem solved, she went back to her laptop, where she still wasn’t able to do any work.