By Karen Singer
Chapter 64 Part 3 of 3
Late Friday afternoon, Doctor Jessica Parker sat and thought about Candy Brinkley… and gambling. She was tempted to flip a coin. Heads she stayed and talked to Candy, tails she headed for the casinos. Her heart told her she wanted tails, but her head told her to not try flipping the coin… in case it landed tails.
Last week had been nothing but a horrible disaster with Candy. All she wanted to do was to get him into bed – just once! It wasn’t like he was married or anything. But that woman… Janice… she had ruined that for her too. But how much worse was it for Candy? He had to actually live with the problem… day in and day out. No way to relieve his sexual tension. No chance at all. She also knew quite well how a man’s sexual drive could get the better of his reasoning. All anyone had to do was to look at her ex-husband for that fact!
Bottom line? Janice had pretty much destroyed Candy sexually – as a man. Unless of course Candy was homosexual, which in his case he definitely was not. Janice had rendered Candy sexually useless – as a man. In fact, she had rendered him not a man at all! And what she had done to him was such a waste of a good man. Unlike her former husband.
She briefly toyed with the fact that she would like to see her ex-husband afflicted the way Candy was! It would serve him right – the jerk! The best thing about her ex-husband now, was that she hadn’t even heard from him in years! Not even for him to contact his own kids! He had claimed that her gambling had driven him away. Ha! His wandering habits had driven her to gamble!
Her phone buzzed, interrupting her thoughts. “Yes?” she said as she pressed the button on her desk phone.
“Candy Brinkley is here Doctor,” the voice said.
“Thank you,” she replied. “I’m on my way.” She hurried out to the reception area, and paused the moment she saw him. “Wow!” she exclaimed. “You look great! I hadn’t expected that.”
Candy looked down at the dress he was wearing. “Thanks! I hope this is okay. I just didn’t know what to wear. I’ve got only a few pairs of decent slacks. The rest are either shorts or my work clothes, and I didn’t think my work clothes would be appropriate.”
“I wasn’t talking about just your dress,” Jessica said, “although it’s very nice. Your hair and everything else looks really good. You look great Candy. Really great!”
Candy felt himself blushing a bit. “Thanks,” he replied, feeling very pleased by the compliment.
“What have you got there?” the Doctor asked, seeing the large blanket in his arms.
Candy held up the quilt. “I made this for you,” he replied. “It’s only my second one so far so it’s not perfect, but I think it turned out pretty good.”
“For me?” Jessica replied as she took the quilt from him.
“Well, I’m grateful for everything you’re helping me with and…” he lowered his voice, “I’m really sorry about last week.”
“No. I’m the one who’s sorry, Candy. Believe me.” She let the folds out of the quilt so she could see it better. “It’s beautiful, Candy. I’m really impressed. And for once it’s something you’ve done that I think is very feminine.”
“I’m trying,” Candy told her. He didn’t tell her that he had no choice in the matter of making it. Since he had finished his first quilt for his bed, Janice had told him that he would be making as many as he could now for her disaster relief business. He wasn’t going to tell Janice that he was giving this one away though.
Jessica folded the quilt up and looked Candy over again. “I guess we’re going to have to spend a few minutes at my house before we can go out to eat,” she said. “There’s no way I’m going anywhere and there’s even half a chance that I’ll look second-rate next to you.”
“Don’t laugh,” Jessica said as she started back toward her office. “I’m serious! You look that good! Totally different!”
It was thirty minutes before they got back to her house. Then Candy had to wait another forty minutes while Jessica got dressed herself. And when she came out, Candy was afraid he was going to have another problem with the cold invading his cock. Fortunately, there was no reaction down there at all. They both got into her car and she drove them out to a different restaurant that he hadn’t been to before. “Are we going to be able to talk in here?” Candy asked, seeing all the cars in the parking lot.
“I’m not worried about it,” Jessica replied. “Besides, with as much trouble as we both went to getting dressed, we may as well show off a little.”
Candy was clearly hesitant about that. “Um… are you sure?”
“Candy,” Jessica replied. “Don’t worry about it. The way you look now, unless somebody really looks at you, they’ll never know! Trust me!”
Candy said nothing, but followed her inside. They had to wait a little while for a booth, but eventually they were seated and the waitress left to find them both a cup of coffee.
“I noticed that your voice is sounding better now,” Jessica noted.
“It is? I wasn’t sure,” Candy replied. “But I kind of thought so myself. I guess not using my old voice for school anymore is forcing me to get better with it.”
“The hormones are helping some too,” Jessica told him. “You’re on a stronger dose now so you should be seeing some of the changes a bit faster.”
Candy nodded. “I thought I would, but to tell the truth, I’m not really seeing anything happening faster.” He lowered his voice. “But my boobs still hurt terribly!”
Jessica couldn’t help but giggle. “Get used to it. They’re going to be growing for a long time.”
Candy only rolled his eyes to that.
“I really like that quilt you made me,” Jessica said. “That was such a surprise. So sweet.”
“Thanks,” Candy replied. “I know it’s a bit warm for something like that right now, but at least you’ll have it when the weather turns cooler.”
Jessica reached down into her purse. “I have something for you too,” she said. She laid an envelope on the table and pushed it across to him.
“What is it?” Candy asked, picking it up.
“Something that a psychologist would have given to you… if you had a decent psychologist. Basically, it’s just a doctor’s letter that states you’re in the process of transitioning in case anyone needs further proof.”
Candy read the letter briefly. “Thanks,” he said. “I’ve read about these letters on the internet. I think I feel more official now.”
Jessica smiled. “I don’t think you can get more official about it since you have absolutely no choice at all.”
Candy nodded and stuck the letter in his purse.
Jessica stared across the table at him. “Well, I guess I don’t need to ask what else is new,” she said. “Your hair came out great. And I like the earrings. Although… um… it looks like you had your nails done to but… the color is chipping off already.”
“Yeah,” Candy replied looking at his nails. “It’s the construction work. It really seems to be hell on my nails. I don’t think I’ll be getting any more manicures for a while.”
“No,” Jessica replied, “wrong attitude! That’s when you need to pay more attention to your nails. When they get messed up, then you have to learn to take care of them. No woman wants ugly nails, Candy. You might want to remember that.”
Candy let that sink in, and then nodded. “If I did that though, I’d wind up having to do something with them every night.”
“Then you work on them every night. It’s as simple as that. It may have to be part of your daily beauty regime.”
“I don’t have a daily beauty regime.”
“Then it’s time you started one… starting with your nails.”
Their coffee arrived and they ordered their meals. When the waitress had left, they discussed things that Jessica thought he should be doing to take care of himself every day now.
It wasn’t until their dinners had been delivered to the table that she finally got to the subject she had wanted to talk with him about the most. “Candy,” she said, “about last week.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that,” Candy apologized again.
“No, that’s not what I mean. You said that… she… fixed it so that you feel that intense cold anytime you get sexually aroused by a woman?”
“Yeah,” Candy replied softly. “A woman or a girl. It was really bad there for a while… especially in school, but… I guess my body kind of learned… or compensated or something. Because last week was the worst I’ve ever felt it.”
She tried to smile. “I guess I should feel flattered then.”
He nodded. “Sorry,” he said again. Then he laughed a bit. “This is certainly my week for sexual discussions!” he noted.
“What do you mean?”
“I went for months without the subject even coming up – fortunately. Then last week at your house it became a problem. Then I had another discussion about the subject when Jennifer visited me this morning. And now we’re talking about it again.”
“Jennifer talked to you about sex?” the doctor asked.
“Actually, she tried to get me into bed… kind of woman to woman. And then before she left, she asked me to consider a threesome with a man.”
Jessica’s eyes went wide. “Did you… go to bed with her?”
“No! You know I can’t.”
“What did you tell her?”
“Only that it’s not something I can do right now.”
She nodded and paused before asking. “And what did you tell her about the threesome thing?”
“I didn’t tell her anything. She left right after that.”
“So… how do you feel about sex with men?” the Doctor asked.
Candy wanted to rub her hands all through her hair in frustration at the question, but she didn’t because she didn’t want to mess her hairdo up. “The truth? Mostly, I’m against it.”
“You said… mostly.”
“Yeah. That’s just it. It’s just that lately… well… I guess because it’s been so long for me now… and because I can’t think about women that way anymore… and probably mostly because of what I’m becoming and will be eventually, but… every once in a while now, I can’t help but wonder what it will be like to have sex with a man.”
“You said… what it will be like,” the Doctor noted. Does that mean you’re considering it?”
Candy blushed. “Not really. It’s just that… someday I’m going to have no choice but to get the operation. And after that, well… isn’t it only natural that I might have sex with a man someday?”
“Yes it is. Perfectly natural. And there’s nothing at all wrong with it. There’s also nothing at all wrong with thinking about it now.”
Candy shook his head. “It’s not that easy. It’s still wrong to me right now.”
The Doctor waited a moment before she pressed the issue again. “Candy, I’ve done a lot of thinking about just this subject all week. No matter how you look at it, it’s still going to be a couple of years before you can get your surgery. Well, there are options where you can get it a little faster, but basically we’re talking a long time. Do you want to go that long and not experience any kind of sexual relationship at all?”
“If I have to,” Candy replied. “I’m not going to jump in the sack with another man right now under any circumstances. No matter what weird things sometimes go through my head. The idea is simply repulsive.”
Jessica was a little disappointed to hear him say it that way. She had hoped he might be more receptive to it after some of the things he had just said. “Candy, for the next week, I’d like you to think about that some more. I’d like you to seriously think about having sex with a man someday… and try to picture yourself enjoying it. Please! That’s the assignment I’m giving you for next week. Just think about it and try to imagine yourself enjoying it. Okay?”
“What, are you trying to turn me into a homosexual or something?”
“In what way is a sexual relationship between a man and a woman, homosexual?”
Candy shook his head. “I’m not interested,” he said again. “There isn’t anything at all that I find sexy or even beautiful about a man’s body!”
“I’m afraid that you and I have differing opinions about that. Think about it! Imagine yourself as a woman… in bed with a man… and enjoying it! Just do it!”
Candy just looked at her and shook his head.
“Every day!” Jessica added.
Candy stared across the table at her. She was asking him to do something that he found repulsive. But was it repulsive? And would it still be repulsive when he actually had the operation and became a woman? He was a long way from that point yet. He supposed by then he would have a far different outlook on life. Finally he nodded his head. “I’ll try,” he replied.
“Good!” she said. “Trust me, it’s for the best.”
He tried to smile. “You and I may have differing opinions about that too!”