By Karen Singer
Chapter 68 Part 2 of 2
“Doctor,” the voice on Jessica’s office phone said, “Candy Brinkley is here… and you’re not going to believe how she looks!”
The statement raised an eyebrow on Jessica’s face… along with a big smile. “I’ll be right there!” she replied.
She quickly got up from her desk and headed for the front waiting area. She forced herself to slow her pace, even though she was anxious to see. She opened the door, and there he was… there she was. Standing just a short way from the reception counter. Looking… “Wow!” she exclaimed. “I’m speechless!” She took careful note of the party dress, and the shoes, and especially his face and hair. His earrings and bracelets weren’t lost on her either. Nor was the red bag in his hand. Obviously Candy had gone to a lot of trouble… and expense for this little meeting. But then she had asked him to. She had wanted him to do just that.
Candy looked down at his dress… that he felt all too uncomfortable in… not to mention his stupid shoes that he could barely stand up in. “It looks okay?” he asked.
“You look… wow!” Jessica exclaimed again. “Come on back,” she said. “Let’s go talk in the break room for a while.” She held the door to let Candy go through ahead of her. “Perfume!” she noted as Candy walked past.
“It was just kind of a whim,” Candy replied. “One of the salesgirls suggested it when I was looking for the jewelry. It isn’t too strong is it?”
“No, it smells great. Flowery.”
“Yeah, I liked it better than some of the others that I couldn’t figure out what they smelled like.”
“I like your hair,” Jessica noted as they walked down the hall. “They lightened it.”
“Yeah,” Candy replied. “I think the style is a bit wild, but… I also think I like it.”
“Looks great,” Jessica replied. “I see you went for girly instead of feminine.”
“There’s a difference?”
“It’s slight, but yeah.”
“You said to be overly feminine or overly girly. This was the best I could do.”
“Well, I’m not sure you made it as far as ‘overly,’ but you sure do look great.”
Candy rolled his eyes. “So this isn’t good enough? I don’t know what else I could have done?”
“That’s all part of the exercise Candy. We’ll get to that.”
Candy was glad to get off of her feet and sit down at the small table there. He had to carefully adjust his skirt as he sat because there was simply so much of it… despite it being so ridiculously short. Why the heck had he bought that dress?
Jessica sat down across the table from Candy. “So how do you feel being all dressed up like that?”
Candy had to think about that. “Different. Strange,” he replied.
“Different – good? Or different – bad?”
“Good. It’s just… weird that’s all. I’m used to being a very ungirly girl. I do construction work for heaven’s sake!”
“And now you’re dressed completely different.”
Candy leaned forward a bit. “Doctor, it’s been so weird all day… well, since I left work at lunchtime anyway. I’ve felt… I don’t know… more… feminine?”
“When did you get your hair done?”
“It looks like it. I guess they did your make up too?” She saw Candy nod. “And how did you feel afterwards?”
“Even stranger. I don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror now. I see a woman who can’t possibly be me!”
“It just… can’t!”
“But it is you!”
Candy shook his head. “It’s just hard to believe.”
Jessica said nothing for a moment as a worrying thought hit her. “Candy, how do you think of yourself?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“When you think about yourself, do you think of yourself as a man, or as a woman?”
Candy was surprised by the question. “A man of course. How can I think of myself as a woman? I don’t exactly have the parts for it yet.”
“And how do you think everyone else sees you?”
“Me? I don’t know. I was shopping yesterday. I did a lot of shopping yesterday!” he added. “And some of the people knew I was a guy, but… they said they weren’t sure or they couldn’t tell right away. And I’m fairly sure that there were more than a few saleswomen who didn’t catch on at all! That I could notice anyway.”
“Candy, if all those people saw you as a woman, why can’t you think of yourself that way?”
“Not all of them,” Candy noted. “Not the ones who found out.”
“But did you tell them what you are?”
“But they didn’t really know then until you told them, right?”
“I guess,” Candy replied uncertainly.
“And after they did find out, did they treat you like a man dressed as a woman, or did they treat you like a woman… a real woman?”
“Um… I guess they treated me like a real woman.”
Jessica nodded. “Then why can’t you think of yourself that way?”
“Because…” But Candy was having a hard time putting it into words. “Because… I’m not. I’m a fake!”
“Will you still be a fake after the operation?”
It was a moment before Candy answered. “I’ll be… less of a fake.”
Jessica was getting a bit frustrated. She wished she had a mirror in the room, but she had no such option. “When you look into the mirror now,” she said, “do you see a woman, or a man pretending to be a woman… a fake?”
“I see… and Candy stopped.”
“You see what?”
“I see.” He paused again. “I saw… a man pretending to be a woman,” he replied. “That is, up until today at the beauty parlor. I didn’t recognize the woman who looked back when they were finished with me. I didn’t recognize her at all. It couldn’t have been me! But… that same woman was staring back at me from my own bedroom mirror afterwards.”
Jessica almost breathed a sigh of relief. “And who is sitting here with me now… a man… or a woman?”
Candy shook his head. “I… don’t know,” he replied. “I’m just… confused.”
Well, it was progress. Jessica was about to push the issue further when her cell phone rang. She pulled it from her pocket and checked the caller ID. “Hi Kate,” she said. She listened for a moment. “Okay, thanks. See you later.” She ended the call and stuck the phone back into her pocket. Then she got up from her seat. “My sister is keeping my kids,” she said.
“Doesn’t she always?”
“Yeah, but we check in more often with each other now… especially on Fridays!”
Candy only smiled.
“Come on,” Jessica said, “let’s get out of here and go to my place.”
“Your place? You mean we’re not going out to a restaurant?”
“No, I thought I’d fix something at home instead.”
“You mean, I got all dressed up for nothing?”
Jessica didn’t reply. It was all she could do to hide the sly smile on her face. The call from Kate was to tell her that everything at home was ready for them.
Candy followed Jessica back to her house. He was a little disappointed that they weren’t going out to eat. He was all dressed up. A nice restaurant would have been perfect. He certainly wasn’t ready for anything more than a restaurant yet. But the restaurant would have worked out well. Of course, dressed as he was, while the doctor was still dressed as she was, well, the doctor would have looked out of place. Or maybe he would have looked out of place. Most likely he would be the strange one.
When they arrived, he was surprised to see Jessica’s sister’s car in the driveway. He had to maneuver his truck around it so that either of them could leave when they needed to. He was a lot less nervous getting out of his car this time, but it still felt strange. And walking in those heels was just simply painful! How did women put up with shoes like that? Well, they did go well with his dress.
His red purse was smaller than the one he usually used. It was more of a large clutch. With no handle that was big enough to throw over his shoulder he was forced to carry it in his hand. He used it to help balance himself as he walked toward her front door. God, he felt like such a girl walking that way! Ugh! Or was that good?
Candy held the front door open for him. “Aren’t high heels fun?” she asked jokingly.
“Don’t remind me,” Candy muttered as he tottered past and into the house. He got two steps into the hallway and stopped. Jessica’s sister Kate was just coming into the short hallway from the other direction. Candy saw her stop dead with a look of shock on her face.
“Va-va-voom!” Kate muttered as she took in Candy’s appearance. “Holy cow!” she said much more clearly. “You really don’t look anything like what you did the last time I saw you!”
Candy clearly remembered how Kate had been so disapproving of him before. He wasn’t sure how disapproving she was of him now or not. “I look better, I hope,” he replied.
Kate nodded with a slight exaggeration. “Definitely!” she exclaimed. “Wow, what a dress!”
“Thanks,” Candy replied, feeling somewhat embarrassed by the whole thing.
Kate came closer, not taking her eyes off of Candy. “You’re sure this is the same person?” she asked her sister.
“That’s her,” Jessica replied. “She cleaned up rather nicely I think.”
“You think? Shit! I need to get my hair done now! I feel awful next to her!”
Jessica laughed and opened the door so her sister could leave.
“Bedroom,” Kate mouthed toward Jessica as she walked out. “Have fun you two,” she called more normally.
Jessica closed the door behind her. “Come on into the kitchen,” she said as she led the way. In those shoes, it took Candy a few moments longer to catch up to her.
In the kitchen, Jessica went straight to her refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine that she had put in there that morning. As she picked it up, she noted that half the bottle was gone already. She grabbed two glasses and poured each of them some wine.
Candy stood against the counter and picked up the wine glass. Did he dare sit down in one of her kitchen chairs? His feet certainly wouldn’t mind. But Jessica was leaning against the other side of the counter, so he stayed where he was, on his tortured feet. He took a sip of his wine, and noted that there was a slight lipstick stain on the glass. Was he supposed to worry our do anything about that?
“Candy,” Jessica said after taking a sip of her own wine. “I want to get back to what we were talking about earlier. I think it’s time you made a distinct effort to start thinking of yourself as a woman, and not a man anymore.”
Candy shook his head. “I don’t think it will be that easy. I’ve been a man all my life.”
“And you didn’t want this new life, I know that,” Jessica replied. “But here you are and you have it. And you’re only going to become more and more of a woman as time goes on.”
“But I’m not there yet,” Candy argued.
“Don’t fool yourself, you’re closer than you think! A lot closer! From what you told me earlier, nobody knew that you weren’t a woman yesterday until you yourself actually told them.”
Jessica cut him off. “They may have wondered a little. In fact, from what you said, I doubt most of them wondered at all. All any of them saw was a woman! And that was before you had yourself all fixed up today.” She shook her head. “God, you could walk into some club downtown tonight and pick up half the guys in the room and not one of them would know the difference!”
“I’m not that good!”
“Well, maybe not. But the point is, you look damn good tonight and most of the time that’s all anyone is going to see – a woman. Not a man!”
Candy tried to find something to say to that… some way to refute that, but he couldn’t. He took a rather large gulp of his wine instead.
“Candy,” Jessica said softly. “If everyone else in the world can see you as a woman, then why can’t you?”
It was a moment before Candy could answer. “Because I’m not.”
Jessica’s frustration over the issue was back. But she had to move things along now. “Candy,” she said, “from now on, I want you to think of yourself as a woman… and only as a woman.”
“But I’m not!” Candy replied.
“I don’t care what you think. Do it. From now on, try to think of yourself as a woman. All the time. Everywhere! For any circumstances! For all intents and purposes, you are a woman now. And you certainly can’t refute that fact!”
Candy shut up and just stared at the doctor.
“Just try, Jessica urged.
But all Candy could do was to look at her still.
Jessica shook her head and took another sip of her wine. “Candy, remember when you called me and asked to make love to me again?”
“Yeah? Sorry about that, by the way.”
“Don’t worry about it. But I told you it’s important and we would come back to the subject.”
Candy just gave a sigh of frustration and drank another large gulp of his wine.
“Candy,” Jessica said. “Do you still want to try it?”
Candy nearly spilled his wine. “You mean…”
“No! Well, not me anyway.”
Candy was confused. “Not you?”
Jessica let out a long breath. “Candy, I invited someone else over tonight. In fact, she’s already here in the bedroom waiting for you. Kate was here with her until we arrived.”
“Candy, you wanted to try to make love to me… as one woman to another. You told me you were definitely still attracted to women and not men. So this is your chance to see how you really do feel about that.”
Candy was still in shock. “You mean… you invited someone else to…”
“Yes. And it took more than a bit of persuasion on my part to get her to agree to this, so don’t back out now!” She softened her voice. “At least, go in and meet her. Talk to her. Try. Or… at least consider the possibility of trying. If you think you really feel this way, then it’s time you experienced it and found out for sure.”
Candy was still speechless for a moment. “But…” And another thought forced its way into his brain like a freight train. But what if I have the same problem again as I had with you? What if the cold hits me?”
Jessica nodded. “I already explained to her that we were worried about that being one of the side effects of the meds I have you on. I told her you had a problem with it in the past, but you were wanting to find out if you would still have a problem with it.”
Candy was a bit surprised by that. And it almost sounded logical. “Is it a possible side effect?”
“I’ve never actually heard of it, but she wouldn’t know that.”
Candy nodded. Another worry hit him. “What about… I mean… does she know?”
“What I am?”
“Of course she does. Besides, I told her about the side effects you were experiencing. Remember?”
Candy nodded uncertainly. “You really want me to do this?”
Jessica nodded. “I think you have to find out.”
Candy thought about that for a moment. “And she doesn’t mind?”
“She wouldn’t be here if she minded. Now don’t you think you’ve kept her waiting long enough?”
Candy started to turn towards her bedroom, he stopped to ask, “What’s her name?”
“Go find out for yourself. Introduce yourself to her. You need the practice anyway. Just go talk to her.”
Candy started to go again and stopped.
“Just go!” Jessica told him.
It was a moment before he moved, but this time his super high heeled feet carried him all the way to the bedroom. The bedroom door was closed. He turned around and saw Jessica far behind him watching from a distance. He turned back to the door and hesitantly raised his arm. After a short pause, he knocked softly.
“Come on in,” a female voice on the other side of the door called.
Candy grabbed the doorknob and turned it. He was about to meet another woman… as a woman. And he was meeting her for the purpose of… sex. Sex, not as a man, but sex as a woman. Woman… to woman. And yet, he wasn’t a woman. Taking a deep breath for courage, he opened the door.
The room was very dimly lit. Candy noted the three candles spaced around the room before he noted the figure sitting up on the bed, sitting under the soft light of a very dimly lit bulb. The figure pulled a glass of wine from her lips and said, “Holy cow! Is that really you Candy?”
Candy nearly fell over. “Jennifer?”
“My God, let me look at you,” Jennifer exclaimed as she rushed from the bed towards him.
Candy was quick to note that she was only wearing a bra and panties… a sexy bra and panties.
“You look incredible!” Jennifer exclaimed. “Jessica said she asked you to get dressed as femininely as you could, but I never expected this!”
“I never expected to see you here,” Candy replied, still trying to cope with the fact that Jennifer was standing front of him – in just a sexy bra and panties.
“Jennifer laughed. “Well, that was supposed to be a surprise. But I think the surprise is on me. I feel way underdressed!”
“Um… maybe it’s because you’re not wearing anything? Well almost not wearing anything.” Jennifer giggled and Candy wondered how much wine she had consumed already.
“That’s the whole point!” Jennifer replied sexily as she sidled up close to him. “You smell nice,” she said as she put her arm around his neck, brushing one of his long earrings in the process and sending tiny tinkling sounds into his ear… along with a host of strange feelings into his body.
“Thanks,” he replied. “New perfume.”
“It suits you,” she replied breathily as she pulled on his neck and brought her own lips up to meet his.
Candy didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know if he should resist, or just go along with it… or jump head first into it and enjoy himself. It took a moment, but the passion of her kiss, and the taste and feel of her lipstick mingling with his, overcame any reservations he may have had. He had loved this woman once. He had wanted to marry her. He had been hurt badly when she had dropped him. And now she was back again. And despite his new situation, he still held feelings for her. A lot of feelings. Maybe not the same sexual feelings he used to have, but they were strong feelings never the less. And just then, ignoring those feelings was out of the question. Not that he thought that much about it. Once he let himself abandon himself into her kiss, the rest just came easy.
When their kiss broke, the two stood there with their faces only inches apart, and looked at each other. “I’m not who I was,” Candy told her softly. “I can’t do what I used to do with you.”
“That’s the point,” Jennifer replied. “I don’t need you to do what you used to do. I need you to do what I need now. I need you to do this the way I want you to do it. Or at least try.”
Candy could only nod. “I think… I’m willing… if you are.”
“Oh, I’m willing all right! Especially seeing you in a hot outfit like that! Love your hair by the way.”
“Thanks,” Candy replied as he felt Jennifer’s fingers running through it. He never realized how sensual a feeling that could be.
“Can we get you out of that gorgeous dress?” Jennifer asked playfully.
“Try to stop me!” Candy replied a he reached up to untie the top of his dress from the back of his neck.
“No!” she said quickly. “Let me do it.” She started to untie the knot, when her eyes spotted something else. She pushed herself away from Candy and grabbed the open door. She waved briefly to Jessica who was still watching from the other end of the hallway, then she closed the door.
A moment later, she was back embracing Candy once again. She reached up and kissed his lips… as her hands untied the bow that held his dress up. Her arm snaked around his neck, pulling him tighter into her lips as her other arm pulled the top of his dress down, down… and something falling out of it hit her and distracted her. She pulled away from him to note the breast forms lying on the floor. “You still using them?” she asked.
“Sorry,” Candy replied. “I’m not that… big yet.”
With her arm still around his neck, Jessica’s hand cupped his naked breast. “Silly girl, they’re plenty big enough.”
Candy gasped in surprise as her hand began massaging his breast. He couldn’t believe how her touch on his overly sensitive breasts could feel so… incredible! Locked in another kiss, he reached behind her and unfastened her bra, slowly grabbing the shoulder straps and very slowly bringing them down her soft arms. He had missed her naked body. Now he only wanted to feel more of it.
He gasped again as he felt her hand behind him fumbling for the zipper on the back of his dress. He held his breath the moment she found it and began pulling it down. He never imagined that it could be that sensual a feeling. Was that what Jennifer had always felt when he had done that to her?
With the zipper down, she finally started trying to push the dress down to get it off of him, but it was still too tight over his hips. They had to separate a moment before she could finish pulling it all the way down to his feet. “Nice panties,” she noted as she stood up straight again, putting an arm around his neck. Her arm brushed one of his long dangling earrings again. That alone seemed to send incredible sensations through his body. Her other hand trailed from his neck, down across his breast, down his stomach and all the way to the front of his panties… automatically finding that spot that held what shouldn’t be there.
“Umph!” Candy grunted a bit as he felt her fingers sliding over his – manhood trapped back between his legs.
She backed away quickly. “Did I hurt you? Is the problem from the drugs causing you pain again?”
It was a moment before Candy could actually think well enough to answer that. “No, not at all. The problem is something… weird.”
Candy just looked at her for a moment. “You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he said.
“Tell me anyway.”
“It’s just that… when you… touched me like that, it was as if… I was expecting to feel something else and not you touching my… you know what.”
“Something else?” She looked at him sadly. “You were expecting to get an erection.”
“No. That’s just it. I wasn’t. I was expecting to feel…” But it was too stupid to even say.
He shook his head. “No, it’s just dumb.”
She pulled him to her again and kissed him deeply once again, rubbing her almost naked body against his almost naked body. Their breasts rubbing and bouncing off of each other causing a sensation like Candy had never imagined feeling. “What were you expecting to feel again?” Jennifer asked.
“Good. I like to laugh.”
“It’s just that, when you touched me that way, back then.”
“For a moment there… I thought… I mean, I was expecting…” But he couldn’t finish the thought.
“What?” she asked more forcefully.
“It’s dumb,” Candy said again.
“For heaven’s sake. Just tell me!”
“Um… when your hand reached down and you were touching me like that… and we were kissing like that… then… I thought… for a moment there… I… kind of… was expecting too feel something… like…” He paused before he could finish saying, “like your hand was touching my vagina… and not my male parts.”
Jennifer giggled slightly and looked him seriously in the eyes. “Like this?” she asked as she brought her lips back to his, bringing his head down more firmly into hers… and her hand snaking its way down to the front of his panties again. This time, neither of them pulled away as she continued to rub. And a few moments later, his hand found the soft sweet wet spot in the bottom of her panties too.
It was a long time before they backed away. “I guess you’re not having any problems from that side-effect,” She said.
“Not so far,” Candy replied.
In one swift motion, Jennifer pulled her panties down to the floor and kicked them off. She stood there waiting. More hesitantly, Candy lowered his panties down to his shoes. And finally kicked them off. Jennifer moved into him again, this time pushing her now naked groin into his as she rubbed her naked body slightly against his naked body.
“Let me get these heels off,” Candy begged.
“Leave them on,” Jennifer replied. “Your jewelry too. I like it all. It’s sexy!”
“But the shoes hurt!”
“Awwww!” she responded playfully. “Do they hurt too much for you to enjoy this?” With that, she bent down and took one of his nipples in her mouth and began sucking on it and rubbing her tongue over it. Candy immediately went crazy with the new feelings he was experiencing. Never in his life had he imagined he could feel something like that… from doing something like this.
She finally pulled away. “Do they hurt too much when I do that to you?” she asked playfully.
Candy shook his head. “Not even close!” he replied as he pulled her into another long kiss.
When they broke, she took his hand and pulled him over to the bed. “You know, I’ve never done this before,” he said. “This way at least.”
“I know,” she replied. “But there’s a first time for everything. We all have to learn it at least once. And now I get to teach you.”
He moved onto the bed with her and she pushed him down onto his back. “The first thing you have to learn about love between two women, is that it’s all about the giving. We each give love, we don’t take it like a man would. It’s all about the giving.”
Candy was about to ask what she meant, but he didn’t have to. She showed him – again, and again, and again. And she was a sensational teacher!