My Funny Farm - Chapter 9 – Let Me Check My Schedule – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 9 – Let Me Check My Schedule – Part 1 of 2

 

It was just Emily, Bill, Caitlin, and me living in my big house, which by my count was three more people than I wanted it to be.  In fact, maybe it would be better if I moved out and let them have the big house all to themselves.  They’d probably be happier, and I knew I would be.  I’d finally be alone again where I could kill myself like I wanted to.  Now more than ever.

I had somehow managed to fall asleep despite that miserable plug in my bottom that made me feel like I needed to poop so badly it was going to kill me.  In fact, it’s possible that while I was sleeping I was still trying to poop the darn plug out of me.  What woke me up from that nap wasn’t someone turning the light on or anything  like that.  What woke me was the feeling that the need to poop was now growing more intense, and I wasn’t sure how it could get any worse to begin with.

I looked over at the clock on my nightstand, only to notice that it wasn’t there.  What?  Where was it?  Why was it missing?  Did they remove it because babies didn’t usually have the ability to tell time?  That was my best guess.  But it left me with no way of knowing what time it was or how long I had been asleep.  The only thing I knew about the time was that it was time to get up.

It was nice not being fastened to the bed like they had done to me before.  I simply got out from under the covers and stood up.  That darn plug in my bottom didn’t seem to care what position I was now in.  It stayed firmly in place, where I didn’t want it.  I could feel myself walking strangely as I headed out of my bedroom towards the living room where I could hear them watching a game on TV.  I was walking funny, not because I was wet or anything like that, I was walking strangely just because of the feel of that awful plug in my backside.  Ugh!

“Baby, you’re awake!” Emily said as soon as she noticed me.  “Did you have a nice nap?”

“No!” I told her.  “That damn thing you put in me makes me feel like I need to poop so bad it’s driving me crazy!”

She laughed, then she looked over to Caitlin.  “Do you think it’s been in long enough yet?” she asked.

Caitlin glanced at the clock.  “He took a good nap,” she replied.  “Almost an hour and a half.  That’s longer than I expected he’d sleep.  So yeah.  If you agree, we’ll take it out of him now.”

I wanted to cheer.  “Come on baby,” Caitlin said as she stood up.  “Let’s get that diaper off you.”

I literally hurried back to my bedroom where I laid flat on my back on the bed.  Caitlin and Emily came in and Emily did the honors unfastening my diaper and pulling it down between my legs.  They rolled me over onto my stomach and I felt one of them reach in and literally grab that plug in my backside and pull…hard!  I was certain my asshole was going to rip apart before it finally pulled free.  My ass though was sore, hurting, and…believe it or not, exhausted.  A feeling I don’t ever remember having there before.  They rolled me over onto my back again and Emily refastened my diaper back onto me.

“The tapes don’t want to stick again,” Emily complained.  “We’ll have to put a new diaper on him.”

“Wait!” Caitlin said quickly.  “Be right back.”  She ran off and two minutes later she ran back.  “Here,” she said as she handed Emily a roll of tape.  “Try this.”

“Perfect!” Emily declared as she pulled some tape out and refastened my diaper, trying to get it as tight as possible on me.

I expected them to let me up, but they didn’t.  Instead, Caitlin came over with a pair of scissors and another diaper.  She used it to cut slits in the cover of the diaper I was already wearing before they fastened the second diaper over the one I already had on.  I had been through double diapering before, but only for bed.  Now they were trying to do it to me during the day as well.

“Two?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Emily replied.  “ Why not?”

Why not wasn’t the question.  The question was why.

Caitlin came at me next, and I was shocked by what I saw in her hand.  Something made with a very feminine flowery patterned material.  I couldn’t tell exactly what it was since it was all bunched up in her hands.  She pulled it over my head, then fed my arms through the armholes and pulled the entire thing down my body.  The darn thing was extremely tight against my shoulders and upper chest, but it was fine everywhere else.  I looked down at the garment and was shocked.  I was even more shocked when Caitlin suddenly hugged me happily.

“I think my little nightie looks great on you baby.”

Her nightie?  I was still sitting, but I could already tell that for a nightie it didn’t seem to come down very far.  Where was the rest of it?

Caitlin backed away and Emily pointed over toward the far side of my bed.  “We put a few toys for you over in the corner,” she told me.  “Go play with them.  Don’t come out of this room!  You’re not allowed to watch TV right now.  This is playtime, so go play.”

Toys?  Play?  I wasn’t certain I wanted to find out what kind of “toys” they had put out for me.  Once again though, they didn’t seem to be giving me any choice in the matter.  I wandered over to the corner of my room where I saw three colorful…toys, if you could call them that.  Some kind of spindle thing that held some colorful plastic rings of different sizes, a pile of small soft foam cubes in all different colors, and a soft stuffed doll that was dressed in some kind of pink dress that was half painted on.  The doll was tiny, not much bigger than my hand.  I looked at the pile of toys and wondered how anyone, even a baby, was supposed to play with them.  They were useless.  All of them.

I turned toward Emily who was still in the room watching me.

“Play!” she told me.  “With the toys.  Enjoy yourself.  We’ll be back to check on you in a few minutes.”

She was coming back?  Darn!  I desperately looked around my room for something else to occupy myself with, but I didn’t see anything, not even a book or something I could read.  But worrying about that didn’t last very long.  I quickly had an even more immediate problem occupying my mind instead of the toys.  They had just pulled that plug from my ass, taking away my need to poop along with it, except now that need was back again…in spades!  It hit me fast and hard.  And worse, my asshole was still tired from being stretched like it had been.  Despite trying my best to hold back, before I knew it, I was helplessly filling the seat of my diaper with something I very much didn’t want there.  In no time I realized that butt plug had been a two-pronged attack against me.  The pain and discomfort of having it in my ass, and it had stimulated my system to make me poop and made it more difficult than ever to keep from messing myself.

I was angrier than ever over it, and I was left with nothing I could do about it.  They were coming back in a few minutes.  Now I wanted them back even sooner.  Back to change me!  I didn’t go near those toys, not that I wanted to anyway.  I stood there in the middle of the room trying to figure out what to do now.  With that load in my diaper, I didn’t want to move.  Fortunately, it wasn’t long before Caitlin came back into the bedroom.

“You’re not playing,” she complained.

I noticed the baby bottle in her hand.  Not what I wanted.  I wanted my diaper changed.  “Um…I’ve got a problem,” I started.

She got near me and stopped, sniffing the air.  “Somebody made a stinkie,” she realized.  “Don’t worry baby, we put two diapers on you.  You should be good for quite a while.  Here’s your bottle.  Now go play with your toys.”

She wasn’t going to change me?  Wasn’t leaving me in dirty diapers too long one of the big things that had come out when the police threatened to arrest them all?

“Here’s your bottle,” she said, handing me the baby bottle I didn’t want.  Now go play!  Learn to enjoy those toys.  You’ve already lost your TV privileges for the afternoon because of your bad behavior and we’ve got a while still before dinner.

“How about the computer?” I asked.  “You mentioned it earlier.”

“That would have happened before your nap.  You blew that privilege too.  So I suggest you learn to play with those toys.  You don’t want to rack up even more punishments.”

More punishments?  It sounded like they were taking away things that would have been a lot more interesting than those silly…things…in the corner of my room.  Why couldn’t they have taken away my privilege for playtime instead?

“Play!” she ordered and stood there with a stern look on her face. 

Uncertainly, I took a step in the direction of those…toys.  Then another step.  She stood there watching me until I reached the corner.  I didn’t sit.  Not with that load in my diaper.  I dropped to my knees instead.  Now what was I supposed to do?  I picked up one of the small blocks.

“Don’t forget your bottle?” she said.

I watched as she turned and walked out.  Don’t forget my bottle.  Huh!  As if I wanted it.  I removed the pacifier from my mouth and took a swig of whatever juice was in the bottle.  Hm!  Grape juice this time.  Pretty good.  I could deal with that.  It would have been better if they had put some beer in there for me, but I was guessing that might be one of those privileges I would have to earn.  Now, how the heck do you play with…uselessness?

It seemed like every little while, someone would walk into my room to check on me.  Every time I heard one of them coming, I grabbed one of the toys and either held it or piled it on top of another toy.  They never stayed long, and I never needed to do more than that.  Of course, my room was beginning to smell a bit…uh, bad after a while.  And the longer I stayed there not playing, the worse it got.  I just hoped they weren’t going to blame me for the problem, even though the problem came from me in the first place.

They didn’t change me until just before dinner.  Trust me, I was more than glad for the change, and judging by the way they weren’t happy with my smell, I was guessing they were happy too.

From the few comments I heard them make, there in my bedroom then later during dinner, I was getting the impression that there was some kind of organized schedule that was supposed to be attached to my life.  I was still too new to it all to figure it out yet, but that’s the impression I was getting.

Immediately after dinner, Emily and Caitlin assigned me the chore of clearing the table, loading the dishwasher, and generally cleaning up the kitchen.  After that, Emily dragged me into the laundry room where she kept me busy keeping everyone’s laundry up to date.  As soon as the dishwasher finished though, I was sent back to the kitchen to unload it.  After that, it was more playtime.  At least this time I wasn’t messy, although shortly after I started to not play, I was stuck with a wet diaper.

Eventually Caitlin and Emily came in and dragged me into the bathtub where they again shaved my entire body.  After that, I was given the privilege of brushing my own teeth, although the two women had differing opinions over whether they should allow me to do it myself or not.  After that, I was dressed in three diapers for the night along with that too tight and too short nightie of Caitlin’s.  Caitlin laid down on my bed and I was put on the bed next to her.  She pulled me over so that my head was resting near her breasts.  Then she shoved the nipple of yet another baby bottle in my mouth.  Baby formula again.  Yuck!  The last thing I wanted to taste before having to go to sleep.

As soon as the bottle was done, my pacifier got shoved back in my mouth and the covers were pulled over me.  Both Caitlin and Emily kissed me and said they loved me, and the light was turned out.  I wished I knew what time it was, but I no longer had a clock in my room.  All I knew was that it was a lot earlier than I wanted to go to sleep.  Consequently, sleep didn’t happen for a very long time.

 

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