My Funny Farm - Chapter 12 – Life Sucks – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 12 – Life Sucks – Part 1 of 2

 

It's amazing how aware I had become about the number of times I needed to pee during the day.  Yeah, of course I remember before this all started, having to go to the bathroom to pee, or do something else there.  I did it a number of times every day.  In truth, every few hours I guess.  But those trips to the bathroom were soon all but forgotten.  Now, I was more aware of that need than ever.

I wasn’t trying at all to hold back like they wanted me to, but I was no longer letting it build up in my system to that uncomfortable point that told me I had better get to the bathroom pretty darn soon.  Getting to the bathroom wasn’t going to happen, and using a toilet with those diapers taped on me was even less of a possibility.  The result was that while I was holding back, like they didn’t want me to, I was starting to get really good at peeing myself wherever I was and in whatever position I happened to be in at the time.  It was easier on me, but no, I wasn’t exactly proud of that ability.

Wednesday morning started out just like I expected, and just like every other day so far.  Emily woke me up way too early and Caitlin was soon there with my early morning bottle of baby formula.  I didn’t want the bottle, especially because I wanted them to remove that damn butt plug first.  Instead, they left the plug in, and plugged the bottle in between my lips.  I had no choice but to grab it and start drinking.  Despite my bedtime bottle last night, I did still have a bad taste in my mouth from getting it washed out with soap the day before, and they hadn’t even allowed me to brush my teeth before they put me to bed, so this new bottle helped somewhat by replacing some of the leftover soapy taste with baby formula taste.  Basically though, I was trading one bad flavor for another.

Emily kissed me on the forehead while I was drinking, said she loved me, and she was off to work where she could terrorize her students.  Caitlin stayed in my room and did some basic straightening up.  I simply laid there drinking, and wondering when she was going to take that plug out of my ass?  In the past, they had changed me while I was drinking my bottle.  Why not today?

Caitlin continued to putter around near me, despite how long it took me to drink that much baby formula.  Trust me, drinking anything from a baby bottle takes a long time, so she was in there with me for quite a while, and that plug was in my ass for a much longer time than necessary.  Finally, my bottle ran dry, and Caitlin watched to make sure I got the last dregs of what was in it.  Only then did she move in to check my diaper.

Hooray!  Finally!

“Those diapers really hold a lot!” she commented before actually touching anything.  “But I guess we better get that butt plug out of you.”

Hooray again!

She moved in close, but before she touched my diaper she put her face way too close to mine.  “We need to get some things straight!” she said sternly.  “First of all, what are you?”

Uh-oh!  I remembered going through this last night with Emily.  I paused, looking up at her for a few moments and saying nothing.  She didn’t move.  She just waited with her face close to mine.  I gave in.  “A baby,” I finally said.

“Good!  Now I want you to say, I’m nothing but a baby.”

I stared up at her, wondering what kind of game she was playing at now.

“I’m nothing but a baby,” she said again.  “Say it!”

I got the picture.  “I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Again!” she ordered.

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Keep saying it and don’t stop until I say you can.”

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing…”  As I spoke, I noticed her checking the time on her watch.  Why?  Was there some kind of set time I’d have to keep saying it?  I talked on though while she pulled open the tapes on my diaper and seemed to check it.

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a…”

“Roll over and keep saying it,” she told me.

I rolled over so she could get at my ass.  “I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a baby.”

I felt her groping to grab that plug, then she started pulling.

“I’m nothing but…  Mm!  Ow!  a baby.  Ow!  I’m nothing…  Uh!”  I breathed heavily as the darn plug finally pulled free.

“Keep talking and don’t stop!” she said as she slapped my ass hard.

“Ouch!”

She slapped it again.  “Keep saying it!”

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a baby.”

While I kept saying it, she had me roll back over.  She retaped that soggy diaper right back onto me again, then she checked her watch and stood there while she watched me.  My voice droned on an on.  “I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing but a baby.”

It seemed like forever before she let me stop.  “Good!” she finally declared as she checked her watch one last time.  “Now get your butt up and let’s get you some breakfast.”

What was going on?  She certainly wasn’t being very nice to me today.  As if my treatment was ever very nice.  I felt the rumblings in my backside before I made it to the kitchen.  I knew what was going to happen to my diaper long before it even started.  As I waddled in that huge, soaked diaper, I tried tightening my asshole again.  I could barely tell if I did anything with it at all.  Not good!  While Caitlin fussed around in the kitchen making breakfast for both of us, I sat in my seat and waited, having no choice but to concentrate on those feeling building rapidly in my backside that told me trouble was on the way.

Emily set two bowls on the table, a colorful child’s bowl for me with a colorful spoon in it, and a normal bowl for her.  Her bowl held breakfast cereal.  So did mine.  Except my cereal was made for a baby.  Yuck!  And I could tell that more yuck was going to happen very soon.  I had barely started eating when it started happening.  Once again, no matter how hard I tried, my asshole was too worn out and numb to hold back.  The shit started flooding out of me, basically unchecked.  I lifted my bottom off the chair to help it along, while Caitlin did nothing but smile evilly at me.  Damn woman!

When it was over, I had no choice but to slowly lower myself back down into the seat.  Yuck!  Yuck!  Yuck! 

“Finish eating!” she ordered.  Then she got up and took her bowl with her, and her bowl was still half full.  I noticed her eating while standing at the kitchen counter on the other side of the room.  Yeah.  I smelled pretty bad.  Hey!  I couldn’t help it.  My smell didn’t exactly help the taste of that baby cereal she was making me eat either.

As per the way my life seemed to be working lately, as soon as I finished eating, Caitlin brought me back to the bedroom where she cleaned me up and changed my diaper for another one with different kiddie designs on it.  After that, as I expected, I got plopped down on the living room floor in front of boring cartoons on the TV.  Caitlin brought me my second baby bottle of the day.  By this time I was expecting it to be that good tasting vanilla stuff, but when she handed it to me, the liquid inside was brown.  I tasted it.  Chocolate!  Mm!  I think I finished that bottle in record time, which earned me a reward – my pacifier stuck back in my mouth.

Yeah.  Life was so interesting and exciting.  I mentally buckled myself in for a very boring day.

As soon as one of those cartoons ended, as I knew would happen, I got sent back to my room for another playtime.  Oh joy.  At least my diaper was still dry.  Caitlin came in to check on me after just a few minutes, which I fully expected, but this time she stayed and watched me while she made my bed.  Yeah, I tried to pretend to play with that stuff, but really what could you do with a few tiny colorful blocks, a tiny stuffed doll, and a spindle that held a few rings?  You can’t do anything with them!

And then Caitlin did something completely unexpected.  She suddenly plopped herself down right in front of me.

“Hi baby,” she said.  “How’re you doin’?”

How was I doing?

“Here,” she said as she grabbed one of those colorful rings.  She set it on the floor between us.  I watched as she grabbed one of the small blocks and set it on top of the ring.  “Can you do that?” she asked, speaking as if I really was a baby.

I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but I grabbed another of the rings and stuck one of the blocks on top of it.

“Very good!” she praised me, reaching out and cupping my face with her hands for a moment.  “Let’s do it again.  She grabbed another ring and balanced it on top of the block that was on top of the first ring.  I copied what she did, and she praised me again.  She picked up that tiny stuffed doll, shook it and said.  “You are such a good baby!”  With that, she reached that doll out toward my face, touched my face with it and made a big kissing noise.  Then she laughed.

Unbelievably, Caitlin stayed on the floor with me and literally played with me for the rest of the time I was stuck there.  It had to be one of the strangest experiences of my life.  It was certainly memorable.  She was paying a lot of close attention to me.  In some ways, uncomfortably close attention since she seemed to touch me a lot.  But I guess that’s what she would do with a real baby…which I wasn’t!  I wondered if there was some way I could turn those dumb toys over to her.  There was no doubt she got more enjoyment from them than I did.

And then she had to go and spoil it.  “Are you wet?” she asked.

I pulled the plug from my mouth.  “No.  I’m fine,” I told her.  Yes, I was dry.  But she didn’t need to know that after two bottles already that morning the need to pee was getting to the point where I would be letting it out very soon.

“Mm!” she grunted as if she was suddenly angry with me.  “I thought so.  You’re holding back again!”

“Uh….”  I shoved the pacifier quickly back into my mouth, knowing that I had been found out.

She leaned her face practically into mine again.  “What are you?” she demanded.

“Uh…a baby,” I replied.

“Right!” she said.  “And how do you say that today?”

Now she was confusing me.  What did she mean?  She must have noticed the confused look on my face.  “I had you practicing it earlier.  What are you and how do you say it today?”

Okay, things were quickly getting weirder.  “Uh…I’m nothing but a baby?” I asked uncertainly.

“Are you telling me or asking?”

“Um…I’m nothing but a baby,” I said.

“Say it like you mean it!”

Why did she have to keep her face so close to mine.  I tried backing away, only to have her practically crawl over on top of me so she could keep her face too close to mine.  “Say it like you mean it!” she demanded.

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Again!”

“I’m nothing but a baby.”

“Keep saying it, and keep making it sound like you mean it!”

“I’m nothing but a baby.  I’m nothing…”

She finally pulled her head back as I continued to talk, repeating that same stupid phrase over and over again.  I didn’t like this new game.  Just like I didn’t like my entire new life!”

“Keep talking!” she said as my voice droned on.  “I’m going out to get your bottle before your nap.  But I promise, if I don’t hear you keep saying it while I’m out there, I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap again.  Got that?  Now keep saying it…and mean it!”

Yeah, I absolutely didn’t like this new game at all.  I was still saying it loudly when she returned with another bottle for me.  I could tell from across the room that it held orange juice.  That was fine with me.  What wasn’t fine was that she was making sure I kept talking…as she pulled me to my feet and led me over to the bed.

“Keep saying it,” she told me as she pulled the covers back and had me lay down.

I was still saying it as she pulled the covers back over me.

“Okay,” she finally said.  “Just remember what you are, and start acting like it!”

She pushed the bottle nipple against my lips and rubbed it back and forth until I let it in.  I reached up and held the bottle myself.

“Your paci is here,” she said as she laid my pacifier back on the nightstand.  Except after she laid it down, she picked it up and seemed to examine it for a moment before setting it down again.

“I’ll check on you in a few minutes,” she told me.  “Now finish that bottle and go to sleep.”

She walked out and I was glad to be alone for a few minutes, even if it was alone with a baby bottle in my mouth.

My need to pee was now to the point where holding back was becoming uncomfortable.  I let loose and flooded that diaper, paying full attention to the now very familiar feeling of the pee washing all over me, filling my diaper with soggy wet warmth.  It was over soon and I laid there trying to feel the diaper soak all that wetness up, while I sucked the juice from my bottle, adding more wetness to my system that I knew would wind up in my diaper…eventually.

I’m nothing but a baby.  If I didn’t find a way out of this mess pretty soon, they were going to mentally reduce me to…uh…nothing but a baby…for real!

 

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