My Funny Farm - Chapter 21 – A Round and A Round – Part 2 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 21 – A Round and A Round – Part 2 of 2

 

It was round three for the day and she knew she needed to be patient and go slow.  But she had already made such good progress with him that it was difficult to not be excited.  In fact, she was so excited she was already trying to see the finish line ahead of her, even though in reality she was a long way from it.  But she had made a good start and was already ahead of schedule.  Consequently, she decided it was time to at least remind him of some of the things she had instilled into his infantile brain already.  Remind him so that all of that could stick solidly and provide a good foundation to keep building on.  Go slow!  Be thorough.

She forced herself to take a deep breath as she sat on the couch feeding him another baby bottle, this time baby formula.  “Suck, and relax.  Suck, and relax,” she told him softly, even though she hadn’t yet used her trigger phrase to drop him deeply into a trance.  She let him suck normally for a few minutes before she said, “Nichole says to go night-night.”  She watched as his eyes closed and his entire body seemed to go completely limp.  She kept holding the bottle to his lips and after just a moment, he began sucking on it again.  “Suck, and relax,” she told him.  “Suck, and relax.

It wasn’t the first time that she noticed a bit of personal satisfaction as she sat there feeding him the bottle.  And it wasn’t because of the trance he was in.  She guessed it had to be a female thing.  Her motherhood instinct maybe, even though she wasn’t very interested in being a mother…yet.  Mike, her husband, wasn’t interested in having kids yet either.  She wasn’t sure if he ever would be.  In the meantime, she was enjoying this little exercise in maternal care.  But then, she was probably enjoying it more because of the plans she had for him.  “Suck and relax,” she whispered.  “Suck and relax.”

This first bottle wasn’t done yet, when very softly she said, “You used to worry about everyone trying to turn you into a baby, but it’s now something you love.  You used to get very turned on by looking at things on the internet about adults acting like babies, but now it’s something that you want to be too.  The more like a baby you get to behave, the more you like being a baby.  Being a baby is nice.  Being a baby is fun.  Being a baby is relaxing.  Being a baby means no stress or worries in your life at all.  You’re very happy to be a baby.  You want to become more of a baby.  A baby in every way possible.”

She watched the nonstop sucking motion of his mouth.  That alone was almost hypnotic.  She moved on.  “You love playing with baby toys.  Suck on your bottle and think about playing with your toys.  Imagine having so much fun with all those toys, especially when you play with your dollies.  Dollies are always your favorite toys to play with.  You love them all so much.  Playing with baby toys is your favorite thing to do.”

She was doing just brief reminders for him of everything, but after already instilling these concepts into him, that should be all he needed to set them each a bit more firmly.  She continued on.  “From now on,” she said.  “Whenever you pee-pee or poo-poo, or even think about those things, that’s the only words you can think of for them.  Pee-pee and poo-poo.”

She let him continue to drink for a few moments before she softly said, “You can no longer feel any indication at all for when you have to go pee-pee or poo-poo.  You will not know it at all until they start to come out of you, and when you do, since you no longer have any control of the muscles that might hold it back, you will have no way to stop it.  But you don’t want to stop it.  You want it to just happen wherever and whenever it happens.  And if your diaper should leak, that’s not your problem.  Leaking diapers are nothing you ever have to worry about.  That’s all for grownup to take care of.  You can just be a happy baby.”

His bottle finished and she pulled it from his lips, replacing it with his overgrown pacifier.  His sucking motion began immediately with it.  She let him suck on it for a few moments before she said, “From now on, the only numbers you know are one, two, three, five, six, eight, seven, and ten.  You no longer even remember any numbers past number ten.  You have no need to know anything else about numbers.  You’re a baby now and babies don’t know numbers or how to count.  Be a happy baby.”

To all appearances, he was simply asleep and wasn’t hearing a word she was saying, but she knew better.  He was about as deep into a trance as he could get.  “From now on,” she said, “reading is something you’re not interested in.  And if you have to try to read something, it will now be impossible for you to read any words with more than three letters.  One letter, two letters, three letter words are all fine for you, but anything more than that will be simply too confusing for you to even consider trying to figure out.  You’re a baby now.  Let the grownups do the reading for you.”

With those few reminders now finished, it was time to move on to a few new items on her list.  A list that she…they…had carefully put together.  “Baby,” she said softly.  “I know how unhappy you are that your wife, Rachel, is no longer with us.  You’re so unhappy about it.  So unhappy that you want to kill yourself because of it.  Baby, do you remember how sad you are about it and how much you want to end your life because of it?”

It took a moment, but eventually she heard him mumble something similar to the word, “Yes,” around the big pacifier in his mouth.

“Well baby,” she said.  “I think it would be a good idea for you to keep reminding people that killing yourself is the best thing for you.  I know everybody else says they don’t want you to do that, but it’s important that you keep telling them about it.  Don’t forget, you still want to kill yourself and end your life.”

That was the thing that had started all this in the first place.  That was the thing that had gotten him put into that behavioral center to begin with.  But in the last few days, she got the impression that he wasn’t being as adamant about it as he had been.  She…they…needed him to still want to kill himself.

There was just one more thing she had for him today.  One thing the others didn’t know she had added to their list.  One thing she hadn’t been sure she wanted to include, but had decided why not.  Let him have his bit of fun.  In this case, it could only help the situation.

“Baby,” she said.  “I know you remember what sex is.  I know you love to have your fun orgasms.  That’s one of the reasons they let you watch your favorite porn every day just before your nap.  But baby, real babies don’t do that.  Real babies don’t have any kind of sex.  Real babies don’t get hard or have an orgasm at all.  I know how much you want to be more like a baby, but I also know how much you love your little bit of fun, so I have a compromise for you that will not only make you more like a real baby, but it will still let you have some of that fun.  So here’s how it works.  From now on, even after watching all that porn that you love on the computer, you will no longer be able to have an orgasm when you lay down in your crib for your nap afterwards.  You can try and try, but you simply won’t be able to do it.  In fact, your tiny baby penis won’t even be able to get hard anymore.  It will stay baby soft and tiny all the time no matter what you do.  But baby, there is one way for you to still feel that fun.  From now on, every time your diapers are soaking wet, and then you go poo-poo in them too, you will suddenly have a spontaneous orgasm right after you finish going poo-poo.  But since you’re a baby, you won’t understand what it is that’s happening, and because you don’t know what it is, you also won’t be able to tell anyone what’s happening.  Since you’re a baby, you won’t even be able to figure out why it’s happening.  You will only know that you love the feeling.

She decided that was enough for now.  She’d see him again on Thursday and would put more new things into him…or rather, take more things out of him.  All the things she had coming up on her list would possibly have a more noticeable impact on him.  So far, she didn’t feel like any of the changes she had made in him would upset any of the others at all.  If they noticed anything at all, they would probably never realize the extent of it.  For instance, she knew that both Caitlin and Emily were happy that he wasn’t holding back anymore when he had to pee or poop, but they would have no idea how impossible holding back was for him anymore.  And they had both noticed that he was starting to enjoy playing with his toys, but again, they didn’t know how much he was enjoying that.  Both things were noticeable, but they were things that Emmy and Caitlin wanted from him.  They were happy.  She herself was happy.  And the little group that she represented was happy.  So far.

 

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That night, I was busy doing my daily chores when James suddenly walked into the laundry room.  “Hey Dad,” he said.

I quickly pulled the pacifier from my mouth.  “James!” I replied, surprised to see him.  It was then that I noticed that he wasn’t alone.  He had both Doctor Clive and her sister, the detective, with him.  “What’s up?” I asked.

“We’re just checking up on you,” Doctor Clive told me.  “We have to do that occasionally.”

“But I’m supposed to see you tomorrow,” I reminded her.

“Yes,” she replied.  “I know.  But we need to check your home environment as well.  It’s important.”

A brief moment of thought told me that might be true.

“Is everything alright?” the doctor asked me.

“Yeah,” I told her.  “It’s fine.  No problems.”

“Are you sure?”

“Other than nobody will let me kill myself, what other problems could I have?”

She looked at me like she was studying me.  “Okay,” she said.  “We’ll talk tomorrow.  You can go back to doing what you were doing.  My sister wanted to see your new nursery.”

I looked at them all, then stuck the pacifier back in my mouth.  A moment later, they were gone.

They spent a few minutes in the nursery, I guess looking around, but I didn’t go in there.  I had things I was supposed to be doing, and this was as close to any adult time as they would allow me, which meant even chores like the laundry were very important to me.  Before long, they all trooped out of my nursery, said goodbye to Caitlin and Emily, and they left.  I noticed that Bill was nowhere in sight, but who’d want to talk to him anyway.  Not even me.  I was just surprised that Caitlin liked him so much, despite him being her husband.

Later, when I went into the nursery, I was surprised to see a new picture hung on the wall.  In fact, it was the only picture on my walls.  I guess when they redecorated, they never thought about things like that.  I know I wouldn’t have.  But now I had a framed picture of a cute little baby bunny.  Yeah, I figured it was perfect for a baby girl’s room, but the truth was, it didn’t do much for me at all.  Still, it was cute.  Unlike me.

Rachel, I’m trying to get there.  I just can’t seem to figure out how to do it yet.  But wait for me.  I’m coming.  I promise.

 

My Funny Farm - Chapter 21 – A Round and A Round – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 21 – A Round and A Round – Part 1 of 2

 

For the first time in days, I woke up from my nap knowing for sure that I had actually slept.  I didn’t wake up on my own though, Nichole had to call me and shake me to get me awake.  As usually happened, one of my first thoughts was to check the state of my diaper.  Wet.  In fact, fairly wet.  I hoped it wasn’t leaking!  And then I realized that I wasn’t really worried about it leaking.  Huh!  I remembered being so worried all weekend about leaking, but for some unknown reason, I wasn’t worried about it anymore.  Why had I been so worried before, and not now?  I didn’t know.  All I was sure about was that I felt a lot better, and…yeah…happy!

Right there in my crib, Nichole did a diaper check on me.  “I think we better change you before we get some lunch,” she decided.  Two minutes later, I was strapped down to the changing table.  I was so happy that all she did was change my diaper, and of course pour another glass of water into it before she taped it on me.  I hated that!

She unstrapped me and let me down.  “Lunchtime,” she declared.  “Crawl into the kitchen now.

Yeah, lunch, if you can call it that.  I already knew it would be nothing but baby food for me, and I was right.  Ugh!

 

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Detective Kinsley headed down the hallway of the police station.  She finally stopped into the office of one of her colleagues.

“Hi Pat, what’s up?” her friend Martha asked as she walked in.

Kinsley sat down.  “You’re kind of an expert on the domestic abuse stuff,” she said.  “I’ve got a…well, the truth is I don’t know how personal a situation it is.  In fact, it’s really not personal at all.  It involves one of my sister’s patients.  I think I told you once that she’s a psychiatrist.”

“That’s right,” Martha replied.  “How is she?”

“She’s fine.  Her patient isn’t though.  In fact, I think her patient needs to be in a mental hospital, but for some unknown reason my sister is letting the family handle most of his therapy themselves.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very good idea,” Martha said.

“I couldn’t agree more, and I’ve told them all that…many times!”

“So what’s the problem, besides the fact that he needs to be someplace better than at home?”

“For some strange reason, the guy is convinced that his family is all conspiring against him, and they want to get him to the point where he’s completely incompetent to handle his own affairs, and then have him permanently committed somewhere.”

Martha looked at her for a moment.  “That sounds about as far-fetched as something can get.”

“Yeah, doesn’t it?  We all agree on that point.  But…what if…”

“What if there is some kind of abuse going on from his family?” Martha asked.

“Yes!  Not necessarily what he thinks, but maybe something else.  How can we check into it without disrupting things too much?”

Martha shook her head.  “Very carefully!  But…if you can get some permission from at least one of them in the house, then I may have a solution for you.  It may not be perfect, but it might help…maybe!  You never know in these situations, but you may get lucky with it too and catch something that shouldn’t be happening.  Are you interested?”

“Yeah, I think so.  And then tonight, I think my sister and I need to do another wellness check on him.”

“That should be your first line of information.  Wellness checks every few days…unannounced!”

 

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It was round two.  She had Craig lying in her lap drinking another baby bottle, this time she had put apple juice in it, knowing it would stimulate his need to pee more than some of the other things he was given to drink.  She sat there letting him finish the entire bottle, all the while letting his sucking continue to drop him further and further into an ever-deeper trance.  When the bottle finished, she pulled it from his lips and said, “Baby, I want you to stay as relaxed and deeply asleep as you can possibly be, but while you’re sleeping, I want to have another little conversation with you.  Can you stay asleep and open your eyes for me?”

She watched as after a moment, his eyes opened, and he looked at her.  “Good baby,” she told him.  “Tell me baby,” she said.  “Since we worked earlier to turn off all your ability to hold back when you go pee-pee and poo-poo, have you felt anything?”

“Yes,” he replied.

That surprised and concerned her.  He shouldn’t have been able to feel anything.  “What did you feel?” she asked.

“I felt pee-pee coming out,” he told her.  “A couple of times.”

“You just felt it coming out.  You didn’t feel any need to go pee-pee before it happened?”

“No.  Nothing.  I just felt it coming out.  It felt…good.  I felt happy.”

“Very good baby.  And do you still feel any worry about it?  Or worry about leaking?”

“No.  Not anymore.”

“Very good,” she replied.  “I want you to know that from now on, as long as you don’t know if you’re going to go pee-pee or not, if you do wind up leaking, you no longer need to worry about that at all.  Sometimes diapers leak, and yours might too.  If it happens, don’t worry about it.  We’ll just deal with it and there will be no punishments for you at all.  Can you do that?  Not worry about it anymore?”

“Yes.” He replied.

“Very good baby.”

It was time now to start moving into other things.  Things that eventually would bring him to the mental state she…they needed him to be.

“Okay baby,” she told him.  “I have something new for you.  Something else that will help to keep some of your stress away.  Does that sound good?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Very good,” she said.  “Baby, you know this therapy that everyone is helping you with is based on some of the things you were very interested in, namely being an adult baby that likes diapers, and being a sissy baby that likes girly dresses and things.  And you do still like those things, don’t you.”

“Yes,” he replied.  “I like them a lot.”

“Very good baby.  I want you to like them a lot and you will always like them a lot.  Since you do like them so much, I thought it might be nice for you to enjoy all those things even more.  Won’t that be fun?”

“Yes,” he agreed.

“Baby, you know we helped you a little while ago to get rid of all those nasty unneeded feelings that were keeping you from going pee-pee and poo-poo like you should.  And you’re much happier about that now, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he replied.  “Much happier.”

“And you should be,” she told him.  “And now that all that business is fixed for you, you’re more like a real baby than ever, just like one of the things you were most interested in.  Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” he agreed.

“Good baby,” she praised him.  “Since you like being more like a real baby than ever, it’s time to help you go a tiny bit further to help you feel like the happy little baby that deep down inside I know you want to be.  Now are you ready to go the next tiny little step towards being happy?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Very good baby.  We’ve been working hard now for some time to teach you to count correctly, and I know you can do that for me.  Can you count all the way to five for me again?”

“One, two, three, five,” he said.

“Very good,” she told him.  She had given him enough of what she thought of as “refresher courses” in the subject that she had no doubt that concept should stick now, possibly forever.  “And what did I tell you about all the numbers past ten?” she asked him.

“They’re too hard for me and I shouldn’t think about them anymore.”

“That’s right!” she told him.  She hadn’t worked much with him on that yet, but she had mentioned it to him once.  It was time to review that concept.  “From now on baby, just like you said, all the numbers past ten are simply too difficult for you, and you don’t need to think about them anymore.  In fact, any numbers past ten will do nothing but confuse you…just like a real baby.  Isn’t that a good idea?”

“Yes,” he agreed.  “So from now on, you no longer know any numbers past the number ten.”  She was sure he barely knew the few numbers she was allowing him to still remember.  But the truth was, she needed him to still know a few of them.  And the reason for that was coming right now.

“Okay baby,” she said.  “Since you can count that well, then I know you know how many three is, isn’t that right?”

“Yes.”

“Good.  Now baby, here’s something new for you.  What are the first three letters of the alphabet?”

“A, B, C,” he replied.

“Very good baby.  See, you do know how many three is.  But babies barely know even that much, in fact almost all babies don’t know any numbers or letters at all.  Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” he agreed.

“And do babies know how to read?” she asked him.

“No,” he told her.

“That’s right,” she said.  “They don’t.  If something needs to be read, then someone always reads to them, like story books, so there’s really no reason at all for babies to know how to read, is there.”

“No,” he agreed.

“So why should you have to worry about being able to read anything either?  You want to be more like a real baby.  You want to be happy.  So why should you have to worry about being able to read?  But baby, this is something that’s kind of different for you, so we’re going to take it a little bit slow.  From now on, any words that you try to read that are more than three letters will simply be too difficult and confusing for you.  You know how many three is, so all words that you see that have only three letters you can still read.  You can sound those letters out carefully to figure out those words, but more than three letters is always going to be more than your baby head can handle.  They’re always going to be too confusing for you to figure out.  Do you understand?”

It took a long moment before he replied.  Long enough that she worried she hadn’t put it to him clearly enough.  “Yes,” he finally said.

“Very good,” she told him.  “Now here’s another good part of that for you, since everyone wants you to be a baby, just like you want to be, nobody is expecting you to be able read anything at all.  In fact, reading is something you might not ever have to even think about.  Everyone is going to read everything for you.  Reading is a grownup thing that you can simply forget, unless something happens, and you absolutely need to try it again.  But baby, only three letter words and no more.  Just three!  One, two, three.”

It was true, she thought.  There was every possibility that nobody would realize he was incapable of reading for a very long time, and that was if anyone ever figured it out.  It was time now to go back over some of the other things she had worked with him on before.

“Baaabyyy,” she sang softly.  “Remember what we talked about a few times about playing?  Do you still like playing with your toys?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“I’m so glad,” she told him.  “I want you to love playing with all your toys so much that it’s one of your favorite things to do.  And baby, from now on, I want you to be more interested in any toys that are made more for girls than boys.  Especially dolls.  From now on, dollies are your favorite toys to play with.  Tell me, what’s your favorite toys to play with?”

“Dollies,” he told her.

“Very good,” she said.  “Later in the week, we’ll work with you on enjoying more of the sissy girl things you also like.  But that’s for next time.

Like she did every time she worked with him, she left him and got another bottle for him.  A few minutes later, he was sucking on it greedily.  As always, she reminded him that he would never remember being hypnotized at all, but since he always went deep enough, she was sure that most of what she was teaching him would stick.  And she would keep going over those things until she was sure they would stick…forever.  He had drunk a good inch from his second bottle when she said, “Nichole says to wake up.”

 

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I opened my eyes.  She had said wake up, but had I been sleeping?  I wasn’t sure about that.  In fact, the more I thought about it, the more sure I was that I hadn’t been sleeping.  I had simply been…relaxed.  Yeah.  Relaxed.  She didn’t drink from baby bottles so she probably had no idea how relaxing sucking on a nipple of some kind could be, especially if there was some kind of liquid actually coming out of it.  Relaxing…drinking…all at the same time.  So nice.  I closed my eyes again and kept concentrating on how nice it was to suck on that nipple, and how good that apple juice tasted in my mouth.  Much better than some of the other things they gave me.  So nice.

“Baby, are you sleeping?” Nichole asked.

I opened my eyes again and shook my head.  “No,” I tried to say around that nipple in my mouth.

“Fine!” she said with a bit of a chuckle.  Finish your bottle and you can take your afternoon nap.  I know you like your little naps every day.”

“Did I?  I wasn’t sure if I ever thought about it.  But I was so relaxed.  Why couldn’t she just stick me in my crib and let me drink my bottle there?  It would probably put me right to sleep.”

 

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My Funny Farm - Chapter 20 – How To Turn Apples Into Oranges – Part 2 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

by Karen Singer

 

Chapter 20 – How To Turn Apples Into Oranges – Part 2 of 2

 

With the “baby” locked firmly in a sound sleep, Nichole took the time to sit there and let him finish his first bottle, letting the sucking process continue to drop him further and further into an ever-deeper trance.  As she waited, her mind reviewed her plan for him for the day.  She would drop him down into a trance three times that day, and three times she would remove a tiny almost imperceptible amount of his adult intelligence.  Amounts that might not be noticed by anyone for some time yet.  But they were amounts that over time would add up to something big.  And of course, money!

This first session though would have to be mostly about revisiting things from last week and strengthening those concepts.  But there were a few new things she would be doing to him this time too, and one of those things was really major.  Later today, she’d spend time on more new things for him, removing more directly some of his adult ability to do things.

His bottle finished and she pulled it from his lips.  She stuck the pacifier in and watched as he automatically started sucking on it.  Good!  “Suck and relax,” she told him softly.  “Suck and relax.”  She let him be for a few minutes to suck on his pacifier, then she said, “Baby.  Let’s have a bit of a conversation.  Just you and me talking together.  I want you to remain deeply asleep, but open your eyes.”  It took a second, but his eyes opened and looked at her.  “Good baby,” she said.  “Let’s take this thing out of your mouth so we can talk.”  She pulled his pacifier and watched as his lips tried to continue their constant sucking motion.  It was a moment before they stopped.

“Baby,” she said.  “Tell me the truth.  Are you tired yet from having to worry about all your constant worrying about things?  Especially needing to go pee-pee or poo-poo right away so you don’t get hurt.  Tell me yes or no.”

“Yes,” he said immediately.

“Would you like to not have to worry about it anymore?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied.  “Very much.”

“Good,” she replied.  “Would you like me to help you with that then?”

“Yes!” he told her.  “It’s driving me crazy.”

She chuckled.  Maybe she should leave him that way.  Crazy was what she wanted him to be.  But no, she needed more from him than just that.  “Okay,” she told him.  “Let’s consider working together to fix it so you no longer have to worry about that at all.  Okay?”

“Yes,” he told her again.

“Good,” she said.  “Now there’s two parts to this,” she told him.  “Two things you have to do so you no longer have to worry about any of it anymore.  And baby, the best part is that both of them are so easy.  Both of them should be no problem for you to manage at all.  Are you still interested?”

“Yes,” he told her.

“Good baby.  “Now the first thing is this.  While you lay there, deeply asleep, but still talking to me, I want you to squeeze all those muscles that you would use to stop you from going pee-pee or poo-poo.  Squeeze them hard.”

She was surprised to see a bit of concern come to his face.  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Trouble,” he told her.

“What kind of trouble?”

“That thing in my ass.  It’s so big I can’t squeeze at all.”

She chuckled.  “Don’t worry about it.  Just imagine you’re squeezing all those muscles tight.  Are you doing that?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Good.  Now I want you to imagine that all that squeezing is very, very difficult.  Too difficult.  It’s so hard for you to do.”  She paused for a moment as she watched a bit of concern come to his eyebrows.  “Good baby,” she crooned.  “Now I want you to imagine a big dial in your brain.  One you never knew was there, but now I’m allowing you to see it.  It’s a dial that can be turned from zero up to ten.  It’s the dial that gives you the ability to tighten all those muscles that hold back your pee-pee and your poo-poo, and the dial is turned all the way up to ten right now.  Can you see that big dial now?”

“Yes, I see it,” he told her.

“Good.  Now baby, you didn’t know that dial was there before because it’s not one that you yourself can ever touch or turn at all.  Since you can’t do that, then there was never any reason for you to even know about it.  But I can turn it for you.  That dial is turned to ten right now giving you all the strength in the world to hold back your pee-pee and poo-poo.  When I turn it down your ability will slowly go away.  When it gets down to zero, you will have no ability at all to tighten any of those muscles.  In fact, you will no longer even feel those muscles.  It will be like they’re not even there.  And because they won’t be there, you will not be able to stop yourself from going pee-pee or poo-poo ever again.  Your body will go pee-pee and poo-poo automatically with no help or resistance from you at all.  When that happens, you will start going pee-pee more often and a lot less pee-pee will come out each time, so you never have to worry about your diaper leaking.  When that dial gets down to zero, your worries about it will go down to zero too.  No more control.  No more worries about it.  No more pain because of it.  Instead, you will always feel a huge amount of satisfaction and happiness every time you feel yourself going pee-pee and poo-poo with no resistance from you at all.  Won’t that be nice?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Okay baby,” she said.  “Now the question is, are you ready for part one of this process so you can lose all that worry about whether or not you have the ability to hold back and keep yourself from going pee-pee or poo-poo like you should?  Do you want me to help you with that and ease those worries for you?”

“Yes,” he replied.  “Help me not have to worry.”

“Okay, gladly baby,” she said, stifling her laughter.  “Here we go then.  When I turn the dial down, you’re going to gradually lose all feelings in those muscles until you no longer feel them at all.  That dial is turned all the way up to ten now, but now I’m slowly going to turn it down.  Ten.  Now it’s down to nine and you still feel almost all control.  Eight, and you can just barely notice that you don’t feel those muscles straining to hold back anymore.  Seven, and now you can clearly notice a difference from when it was up to ten.  Six, and you feel even less from all those muscles.  Five, and your ability to hold back is now cut completely in half.  Four, and you can really notice now that you can hardly feel those muscles at all.  Three, those muscles are barely there at all anymore.  In truth, you have no control with them anymore.  Two, and try as you might, you can’t feel those muscles at all anymore.  It’s already like they’re not there.  One, and those muscles simply don’t exist anymore from you.  You already can’t squeeze them.  Your brain can’t even contact them.  Zero!  And all those muscles are now gone completely.  You can’t squeeze them, you can’t feel them.  They don’t work because they don’t exist.  It’s like we removed them completely from your body.  Now you never have to worry about them at all anymore.  Now you don’t have to worry about whether or not you’re holding back because you simply can’t.  Now you can feel happy and satisfied every time you go pee-pee and poo-poo because you know it’s all happening by itself with no resistance from you.  Now, I want you to feel happy and glad about the entire process.  I want you to know and remember that this is the greatest feeling in the world and what you wanted.  Congratulations baby, we’ve completed the first and biggest step in making sure you’ll never have to worry about any more pain from having  a leaky diaper.  Congratulations.  Isn’t that nice?”

It was a moment before he replied.  She heard a small satisfied sigh from him, then he said, “Yes.”

“Wonderful baby.  But that’s just part one.  In order for you to really feel good about it and never have to worry anymore, then we should really do part two as well.  Do you think you can manage that?  Would you like to feel really good about it all?  Should we continue on with part two?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Okay baby.  Let’s take care of this properly and move on to part two.  And baby, this one will be just as easy for you as part one was.  Are you ready?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Okay,” she said.  “Now instead of trying to feel all those muscles that you used to use to hold everything back with, I want you to concentrate and remember all those little feelings and thoughts that you have that let you know every time you’re going to have to go pee-pee or poo-poo soon.  Remember all those little feelings you’ve been so worried about watching for so you wouldn’t try to hold back.  Can you remember them?”

“Yes,” he told her.

“Good baby,” she crooned.  “Keep remembering them.  Keep remembering how each of them felt.  Now, can you still see that big dial in your head that I turned down so you can’t use those muscles you used to have to hold back?  Do you see it?”

“Yes, it’s there,” he replied.

“Good baby,” she said.  “Now if you try, you can see that there’s another big dial just to the right of it.  A dial that looks just like the first one.  Can you see it yet?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Good baby,” she replied.  “If you look, you can see that the first dial is now down to zero where it belongs, but the second dial is still set to ten.  Can you see that?”

“Yes,” he told her.

“Good,” she said.  “Now we’re going to do just like I did with the first dial.  Since you can’t ever move it, I’ll have to move it for you.  When I slowly turn it down from ten to zero, you’re going to notice that each and every one of those feelings you remember that told you that you would have to go pee-pee or poo-poo are going to start to disappear.  Just like we did with the first dial.  So baby, are you ready for me to turn that dial down like we did before?  Are you ready to fix things so that there will never be anything for you to worry about again as far as when you go pee-pee and poo-poo?  Are you ready to become even happier and feel even better every time you discover that you’re already going pee-pee and poo-poo and you never even knew you would need to?  Are you ready?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“Okay baby,” she said.  “Here we go.  The dial is set to ten and you can still feel all those little feelings, and you can feel every bit of the worry that goes along with those feelings.  Worry that you didn’t even realize was there.  Worry that has always been there since you first learned about those feelings so many years ago.  Now I’m turning the dial and it’s down to nine.  There’s a little tiny bit of a difference, but not much.  Just barely enough for you to notice.  Eight!  You can feel just a bit less now from all those feelings.  The worries are now less too.  Seven, and you can definitely feel a difference now.  You can feel the worries about it all melting away.  Six.  There’s no doubt at all now that those feelings are going away.  As they go away though, I want you to feel your happiness about not feeling them going up.  Five, and we’re halfway now.  Those feelings are only half as strong and the worries are down to half too, but you’re so much happier.  Four, and the feelings are really going down now.  Three!  Those feelings barely even exist anymore.  If we stopped right here, most likely you wouldn’t even notice them at all.  They’re already down to the point where they would do you no good at all.  Two!  And the worries over them have already completely disappeared.  You don’t need those worries anymore because your ability to notice those feelings is almost completely gone.  You don’t feel the feelings.  You don’t feel the worry, but you do feel happy about it.  One!  We might as well already be down to zero.  There are no longer any perceptible feelings to tell you if you’re going to need to go pee-pee and poo-poo or not.  Nothing at all.  But the dial is still turning, it’s down below one now, and now it’s all the way down to zero.  Those feelings have been completely removed from you.  They absolutely don’t exist for you anymore.  No matter how much you try, you will never be able to feel those tiny little telltale feelings that let you know if you need to go pee-pee or poo-poo again.  Even if you try to feel them, you won’t be able to.  That ability has been completely removed from you.  It no longer exists.  Instead, they’ve been replaced with a feeling of happiness about it and a feeling of happiness that you will no longer feel any kind of worry about it at all.  Tell me baby, do you feel happy about it?”

“Yes.  Very happy!” he told her.

She chuckled a bit.  “Very good baby.  Very, very good.  We’ve now removed both parts of the process from you.  You now no longer have any feelings at all to tell you if you have to go pee-pee and poo-poo, and you also have no ability to hold it back at all.  Instead, we’ve replaced all that with a sense of happiness and satisfaction about it.  From now on, every time you suddenly feel yourself going pee-pee or poo-poo, you’re going to feel very happy about it.  You’re also going to absolutely love having your diapers be wet with pee-pee or messy with poo-poo.  That’s how you always want your diapers to be, because that’s what’s going to make you feel the happiest.”

She paused for a slight moment before saying, “I want you to remember this now baby, those two dials are now set to zero, the same as when you were a baby.  Because those dials are back to zero again, you need to think of yourself as more of a baby again.  Because they’re set to zero, I want you to feel free to act more like a baby again.  Feel free to let your baby self out.  Feel free to a happy, happy baby.”

She was pouring it on and wasting a lot of time, but the more she fed him these images and replaced his worry with happiness, the more open he would be later to other things that would literally dumb him down.  In fact, maybe she could just sneak something she had planned to do with him later into this session right now.

“Here’s your pacifier again baby,” she said as she put the thing to his lips again.  He sucked it in and began rhythmically sucking on it like she knew he would.  “Close our eyes, suck and relax,” she told him.  “Suck, and relax.  Sink into an ever deeper sleep for me.  You’re a happy baby sinking into a deep, deep sleep.  Suck, and relax.  Suck and relax.”

She let him suck for a few moments before she again pulled the thing from his mouth.  “Baby,” she said.  “I want you to stay in your deep, deep sleep for me, while we have another short little conversation.  A very easy conversation.  One I know you’ll like.”  It was always best to tell them they were going to like something before she hit them with it.

“Baby,” she said.  “Remember how we were working on counting, and I told you all about how the number four didn’t exist, that it actually had no meaning at all?  Well, I found another number just like that.  One that we’ve been using to count with, but it really makes no sense even being there.  Would you like to know what that fake number is?”

“Yes,” he replied.

“That’s easy baby,” she said.  “It’s the number nine.  So just like the number four doesn’t exist for you anymore, the number nine shouldn’t exist either.  I mean, think about it baby.  Can you hold up your hand for me and spread your fingers out?”

She watched as his hand went up.  “No baby,” she told him, just your fingers!  Your thumb isn’t a finger, is it.  It’s a thumb.  Just show me your fingers.”  She had to keep herself from laughing as he folded his thumb into the palm of his hand.  “Very good baby.  What a smart little baby you are.  Now show me what a smart baby you are and count your fingers on that hand for me.”

“One, two, three, five!” he said.  “Five fingers.”

“Very, very good.  Just like there should be, right?”

“Right!” he replied.  Now count the fingers on your other hand, starting with six.”

He held up his other hand with just the fingers raised.  “Six, eight, seven….”  He looked up at her.  Ten!  There are ten, just like there should be, but if we used nine then….”

“That’s right, it would be wrong.  We have five fingers on each of our hands and now you can count them correctly.  Can you count them all for me again?”

He raised both his hands again with the fingers raised.  “One, two, three, five, six, eight, seven, ten!  Ten fingers.”

“Very, very good baby.  Very good.  “Now I want you to always remember that, especially when you’re awake and not sleeping for me.  No more trying to use that fake number nine that doesn’t really exist.  You have to always count correctly from now on, even when you’re wide awake and not in a deep sleep for me.  No more counting with the number nine, and if you see it written anywhere, you’ll know that it’s something that doesn’t exist.  You can ignore it completely from now on.  Now take your pacifier again and close your eyes while you suck on it and relax.”

She extricated herself from under him and went to the kitchen where she got him another fresh bottle.  She got him back into her lap and fed it to him.  While she was doing that, she softly reminded him that he would never remember being hypnotized, but that all the things they had worked on together would stay with him forever, even though he would never remember talking about them with her.

A few moments later, she said, “Nichole says to wake up!”

 

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My eyes popped open.  Darn!  Had I really fallen asleep again?  Impossible!  I looked at the amount of liquid still in my bottle and realized that I had barely started drinking!  And once again I could swear I had finished more than that.  Yeah, I was really losing it.  But somehow, I felt happier than I had been for the last few days.  Much happier.

My Funny Farm - Chapter 20 – How To Turn Apples Into Oranges – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 20 – How To Turn Apples Into Oranges – Part 1 of 2

 

Worry on top of worry.  Exhaustion on top of exhaustion.  And in the back of my mind, pain if I didn’t pee-pee or poo-poo right away so my diapers wouldn’t leak.  And that was despite them keeping me in those really thick diapers all weekend, especially at night.  I was worn out to start with, and with each passing day things seemed to feel worse.

My little “talk” with James hadn’t gone nearly as well as I had hoped.  He hadn’t believed me at all that there was some kind of conspiracy happening against me.  He had called my thinking nothing but a far-fetched fantasy.  I could just kill him!  Right after I killed myself.  And trust me, as every day…ever hour…passed and the worry about leaking and worrying about it continued to exhaust me, I wanted to kill myself more than ever.  Sweet death.  Sweet relief from everything!  No more worries.  No more anything.  Rachel, I miss you.  I’m coming Honey.  Be there soon.  I promise!

And on top of all that stress, was the knowledge that come Monday morning, evil Nichole and her bag of painful fun would be back.  Back to bring me even more stress.  I was now to the point where I was hoping that the stress alone would kill me.  People died from stress every day, didn’t they?  Why not me?

I have to say though, I can’t tell you how much of a difference having Emily and Caitlin take care of me was than when Nichole was around.  Between the two of them, it seemed like I was getting smothered with attention.  And it was always nice attention.  It even included frequent hugs and little kisses to show how happy they were with me.  But trust me, as much as I wanted to, I simply couldn’t stop worrying about leaking…and the pain it would bring if I did.

“Baby, are you alright?” Caitlin seemed to ask me so often.  How could I tell her what was really bothering me?  I already knew that she and Emily both didn’t believe me about Nichole either, but then they were all in that conspiracy together.  They just seemed to have different ways of going about the process of dumbing me down.  Nichole forced me to play with the toys and love them, Caitlin and Emily played with me and the toys.  Especially Caitlin.  I was convinced she’d make a better baby than me.  Why couldn’t they pick on her instead.  Oh yeah.  She didn’t want to kill herself.  That was her problem.  Mine was that I wanted to kill myself and they wouldn’t let me.

Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, I was aware that time was moving on and soon Nichole would be back.  I dreaded that almost as much as I dreaded not going pee-pee or poo-poo as soon as I needed to so my diapers wouldn’t leak.  Emily and Caitlin were certainly happy with that situation though.  Once in a while, they even hugged and kissed me after some of their diaper checks.

True to her word, Ashley arrived Sunday night for our weekly “chat.”  I had enjoyed last week’s visit.  A visit that had included so many wonderful memories of my wife and the life we had shared.  Damn I missed her!

Ash and I sat on the couch in my nursery together, and for once I was sitting on it without my head in someone’s lap while they tried to feed me another bottle.  In fact, there was no baby bottle in sight.

“James told me you’ve been very worried about some kind of conspiracy going on against you,” she started.

I was surprised…and glad she had mentioned it.  “Yes, I am!  And trust me, it’s true!  James didn’t believe me.  Nobody believes me, but it’s real.  I know it is.”

She shook her head.  “Nobody I’ve talked to thinks anything is going on at all.  Dad, it’s all in your head.”

“It is not!” I argued.  “Trust me, it’s real.”

She nodded.  “Well so far, you’re the only one who thinks so.”

“I do!” I confirmed.  “I’m just angry that nobody will believe me.”

“James told me that he assured you that all your money is safe,” she told me.  “And yes, I’ve got your passwords to everything written down, but I’ve got that list stored in my safe-deposit box at the bank so there’s no chance of anyone getting to them.  Dad, I promise you, we’re watching out for you.  You’ve got nothing to worry about at all.”

I gave her a look that told her how much I didn’t believe that.

“Let’s drop this and talk about something else,” she decided.

“Like what?”

She smiled.  “Like…do you like all the clothes and things that Emmy and I bought for you last weekend?”

The question actually shocked me.  “All those new girl clothes?”

“Yes!  Girl clothes.  Or as close to actual little-girl girl clothes as we could find.”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that.

And then she laughed as she looked at me.  “Okay, don’t answer,” she said.  “Your face is turning red enough that I know you’re enjoying them, even if you won’t admit it.”  And then she laughed again.  “I can’t tell you how much Emmy and I enjoyed that little shopping trip,” she said.  “It was more than a bit different.  I mean, the two of us are used to shopping for ourselves.  We know what kind of styles we each like, but you…you were a real challenge.  We’re still trying to figure out what kind of styles we can buy for you, especially when it comes to things that might be considered the least bit babyish.”

As much as I didn’t want to say or admit anything about the subject to her, I felt like I needed to say something…anything.  “Uh…yeah,” I said.  “I can imagine that might be a problem.”

“Trust me,” she laughed.  “It was!  So much so, that we were joking about ordering some of those sissy baby dresses off the internet for you.  And I know you’ve seen some of them.  All of them are…ridiculous…and adorable.”  She looked at me.  “Would you like us to get you some?  Hm?”

How could I answer that?  Instead, I sat there and enjoyed peeing in my diaper for a brief moment that relieved my stress…only briefly.

She laughed again.  “You’re blushing!” she told me when I didn’t answer.  “I’ll talk to Emmy about it.  Mom and I knew each other’s likes and dislikes too.  Maybe too well in fact.  I could buy for her almost as well as she could buy things for me.  And back then, we both had no problem buying clothes for you.”

“Yeah,” I replied.  “I think in all the years we were married, I don’t think I ever had to buy anything at all for myself.  But then, why should I deprive her of another shopping trip…her favorite thing in the world to do.”

She laughed yet again.  “Yes it was,” she agreed.  “I know you went with her on a lot of shopping trips too.  Are there any that you particularly remember?”

“Shopping trips?” I said as my mind went back.  “Just being with her was all I cared about the most.  Did I ever mention that I loved her?”

“You might have,” she said.

“I remember a few trips,” I told her, “especially around Christmas time that were…I guess the only thing we could call them was epic.”

“That would be Mom,” she agreed.

“Yeah,” I said.  “One time we were out and…”

Yes, I liked talking about my wife.  In fact, I loved thinking about her.  It was much better than thinking about how much I didn’t want my diaper to leak or thinking about how worried I was about all the worrying I was doing.  So despite my worrying and my constant need to keep peeing at the slightest notice, I did my best to “enjoy” that conversation with Ashley as the two of us talked about the subject I was sure was the most important thing in both of our lives – my wife…her mother.  Rachel.  Damn I miss her.

 

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So many things in life though are inevitable.  Sunrise and sunsets.  Ocean tides coming in and going out.  Death will follow life (I was still desperately waiting for that one).  Sunday would follow Saturday.  And of course, Monday would follow Sunday.  And the other inevitable thing was that on Monday morning, Nichole would show up.  Yes, it was inevitable, and right on schedule, it happened.

“Hello everyone,” she called as she walked in from the garage.

Two seconds after she walked in, I caught myself going pee-pee, while Emily and Caitlin greeted her happily.  Nichole walked over to me and looked down at me on the floor.  “Good morning baby,” she said…so sweetly.  “Are you looking forward to playing with me again?”

I didn’t answer.  Instead, amazingly, I noticed I was going pee-pee in my diaper again.  Maybe I just hadn’t finished the first time.

I was not happy to see Emily and Caitlin leaving to go to work, just like I was not happy having Nichole there to “watch” me all day.

My vitamin drink was vanilla that day, the flavor I actually preferred.  “Haven’t you finished that bottle yet?” she asked as she came back and stood over me.  “Maybe we need to work on your bottle and pacifier sucking again like we did last time.”

I remembered how strongly I had been sucking on everything last week.  My mouth had been worn out afterwards.  I don’t know why I had been sucking on things like that all day, but I did know that I didn’t want that again.  I put the bottle back to my lips and kept drinking, which earned me nothing but a small chuckle out of her.  “Be right back,” she told me.

Two minutes later, she was back carrying her big shopping bag into the bedroom again.  Her bag that held…torture implements.  When she came back, she stood over me until I had finished that bottle.  She made sure my pacifier went back into my mouth then said, “Nursery!  Now!”

I reluctantly crawled my way to the nursery while she took the bottle out to the kitchen.  My fear had already been overwhelming, but with each passing moment it grew worse as I knew what had to await me.

In the nursery, she removed my little skirt before she did a thorough diaper check.  “Wet!” she declared.  “Emmy and Caitlin have both told me how much better you’ve gotten at not holding back.”  She caressed my face with one of her hands.  “I’m so proud of you.”  And then she laughed.  “Up on your changing table, my little puppet,” she ordered.

Fearful, especially of what might await me if I didn’t do what she wanted, I climbed up on the table.  I was feeling all that fear, and she hadn’t even connected that electric torture thing to me yet.  Before I knew it, I was fastened down firmly with my arms bent back under the strap and she had untaped my diaper.  The rope came next to bind my ankles and then raise my legs and hold them way back over my head, and as I knew she would, she lubed my ass and ground that huge…whatever it was into my ass to stretch it out way beyond where it should be.  After having it done to me twice last week, it went in a lot easier this time, but it was still huge and painful.

She seemed happy about something though.  “I think next time we might try moving you up to the next size.  Won’t that be good?” she asked.

I was too busy sucking my pacifier in absolute fear to answer.

Like everything else that was inevitable, she spent time carefully attaching that damn electric shocking device to my cock and balls…and she was even kind enough to try it out to make sure it worked.  I screamed bloody murder, losing my pacifier in the process.  There were tears coming from my eyes before she finished and stopped the pain.

One thin diaper soaked with a full glass of water later, she released me from the changing table to get down on the floor where I could crawl into my play area.  I was fine playing with the toys now.  I had spent many happy hours over the weekend playing in there by myself, or with Caitlin, or with Emily, and once, all three of us had played in there together with the toys.  I didn’t know why I was suddenly enjoying playing with them so much.  They were still nothing but useless stupid items, but somehow I did seem to like playing with them.  In fact, I was looking forward to it.  Especially if it would keep me away from Nichole and her stupid world of pain.

Two minutes after I got into my play area, she was back, coming all the way inside where I was.  “Are you going to give me any trouble today?” she asked.

“No!” I told her around the big pacifier in my mouth.  “Please, just don’t hurt me.”

She laughed.  “No promises.  No promises about that at all.”  She laughed.  “Hurting you is part of the fun.”

It certainly wasn’t for me.

“Count to ten!” she ordered.

I stared at her for a moment.  Not wanting to feel the pain, I said, “One, two, three, five, six, eight, seven, nine, ten!”

“Very, very good!” she cooed as she ran her hand over my face again.  “Play with your toys now, I’ll be right back.”  She left the play area, closing the gate behind her and walked out of the room.

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

 

James picked up his phone the moment he arrived in his office.  It was late enough that he was fairly certain that Doctor Clive would be in by now.  He called her and reached her receptionist.  A minute later his call was transferred directly to the doctor.

“Hello?”

“Doctor Clive.  This is James Bryson.”

“Good morning, Mr. Bryson,” the doctor replied.  “What can I do for you?”

“Doctor, Friday night I had my weekly little talk with my father, and it was anything but what it was supposed to be.”

“Oh?  What happened?”

“From the moment I walked in, he was only concerned with one thing.”

“And what was that?”

“He’s convinced somehow that the entire family is conspiring against him.”

That sent a wave of concern though the doctor’s head.  She remembered Craig being concerned about that when she had talked to him in her office last week.  “Conspiring?” she asked.  “In what way?”

“He’s convinced that our real goal for him is to make him completely incompetent and have him committed somewhere permanently.”

It was exactly like Craig had outlined to her last week.  What concerned her the most was that he was still so focused on it.

“I asked around among a few members of the family,” James said, “and nobody seems to know what he’s talking about.”

“James,” the doctor said.  “I should not be mentioning this, but your father brought up the same thing to me in his visit last week.  I’m really just surprised that he’s still insisting that such a thing could be true.”

“Well, as far as I can tell, it’s not,” James told her.  “We’re thinking that this could be just his latest way to get himself out of the therapy the family is trying to put him through.”

“Yes,” the doctor agreed.  “That’s very possible and is most likely the case.  I’ll speak to him about it tomorrow when he comes.  Will that be alright?”

“I wish you would,” James told her.  “The entire purpose of what we’re doing is to keep him from worrying about anything, but he’s overly worried about this for sure.”

“I’ll speak to him,” the doctor promised.

“Thanks,” James said.  “I only called because I thought you should know.”

“Yes.  I appreciate that.  Just keep me informed,” the doctor told him.

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

 

I crawled my way out of the playpen and climbed up onto the couch to lay with my head in her lap.  She pulled the pacifier from my lips and inserted the bottle instead.  “Now don’t fall asleep!” she told me.  “I want you to relax and enjoy me doing this, but if you fall asleep then you’re not getting your bottle, and you won’t be able to pee-pee as much.  So relax, but don’t fall asleep.”

I of course said nothing.  My mouth was too busy sucking that damn liquid into me.  The rest of me was totally focused on looking for any telltale sign that I might be able to go pee-pee soon to add to what was already in my wet diaper.  Little by little, I watched the level of liquid in that bottle going slowly down.  I was happy because for once I was going to manage to stay awake through an entire one of her feedings.

“Nicholes says to go night-night.”

 

--- §§§§§§§§§§ ---

 

Doctor Clive sat through her first patient of the morning, but her mind wasn’t as focused on that patient as it should have been.  Instead, it was remembering the phone conversation she had had earlier with James…a bit of discussion about the same thing that his father had brought up in her office last week.

When her patient left, the doctor took a few minutes to make a phone call to her sister.  Her call was answered fairly quickly.  “Pat?  It’s me.  Got a minute?  I want to run something by you that I already know is dumb.”

 

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