My Funny Farm - Chapter 20 – How To Turn Apples Into Oranges – Part 1 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 20 – How To Turn Apples Into Oranges – Part 1 of 2

 

Worry on top of worry.  Exhaustion on top of exhaustion.  And in the back of my mind, pain if I didn’t pee-pee or poo-poo right away so my diapers wouldn’t leak.  And that was despite them keeping me in those really thick diapers all weekend, especially at night.  I was worn out to start with, and with each passing day things seemed to feel worse.

My little “talk” with James hadn’t gone nearly as well as I had hoped.  He hadn’t believed me at all that there was some kind of conspiracy happening against me.  He had called my thinking nothing but a far-fetched fantasy.  I could just kill him!  Right after I killed myself.  And trust me, as every day…ever hour…passed and the worry about leaking and worrying about it continued to exhaust me, I wanted to kill myself more than ever.  Sweet death.  Sweet relief from everything!  No more worries.  No more anything.  Rachel, I miss you.  I’m coming Honey.  Be there soon.  I promise!

And on top of all that stress, was the knowledge that come Monday morning, evil Nichole and her bag of painful fun would be back.  Back to bring me even more stress.  I was now to the point where I was hoping that the stress alone would kill me.  People died from stress every day, didn’t they?  Why not me?

I have to say though, I can’t tell you how much of a difference having Emily and Caitlin take care of me was than when Nichole was around.  Between the two of them, it seemed like I was getting smothered with attention.  And it was always nice attention.  It even included frequent hugs and little kisses to show how happy they were with me.  But trust me, as much as I wanted to, I simply couldn’t stop worrying about leaking…and the pain it would bring if I did.

“Baby, are you alright?” Caitlin seemed to ask me so often.  How could I tell her what was really bothering me?  I already knew that she and Emily both didn’t believe me about Nichole either, but then they were all in that conspiracy together.  They just seemed to have different ways of going about the process of dumbing me down.  Nichole forced me to play with the toys and love them, Caitlin and Emily played with me and the toys.  Especially Caitlin.  I was convinced she’d make a better baby than me.  Why couldn’t they pick on her instead.  Oh yeah.  She didn’t want to kill herself.  That was her problem.  Mine was that I wanted to kill myself and they wouldn’t let me.

Day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, I was aware that time was moving on and soon Nichole would be back.  I dreaded that almost as much as I dreaded not going pee-pee or poo-poo as soon as I needed to so my diapers wouldn’t leak.  Emily and Caitlin were certainly happy with that situation though.  Once in a while, they even hugged and kissed me after some of their diaper checks.

True to her word, Ashley arrived Sunday night for our weekly “chat.”  I had enjoyed last week’s visit.  A visit that had included so many wonderful memories of my wife and the life we had shared.  Damn I missed her!

Ash and I sat on the couch in my nursery together, and for once I was sitting on it without my head in someone’s lap while they tried to feed me another bottle.  In fact, there was no baby bottle in sight.

“James told me you’ve been very worried about some kind of conspiracy going on against you,” she started.

I was surprised…and glad she had mentioned it.  “Yes, I am!  And trust me, it’s true!  James didn’t believe me.  Nobody believes me, but it’s real.  I know it is.”

She shook her head.  “Nobody I’ve talked to thinks anything is going on at all.  Dad, it’s all in your head.”

“It is not!” I argued.  “Trust me, it’s real.”

She nodded.  “Well so far, you’re the only one who thinks so.”

“I do!” I confirmed.  “I’m just angry that nobody will believe me.”

“James told me that he assured you that all your money is safe,” she told me.  “And yes, I’ve got your passwords to everything written down, but I’ve got that list stored in my safe-deposit box at the bank so there’s no chance of anyone getting to them.  Dad, I promise you, we’re watching out for you.  You’ve got nothing to worry about at all.”

I gave her a look that told her how much I didn’t believe that.

“Let’s drop this and talk about something else,” she decided.

“Like what?”

She smiled.  “Like…do you like all the clothes and things that Emmy and I bought for you last weekend?”

The question actually shocked me.  “All those new girl clothes?”

“Yes!  Girl clothes.  Or as close to actual little-girl girl clothes as we could find.”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that.

And then she laughed as she looked at me.  “Okay, don’t answer,” she said.  “Your face is turning red enough that I know you’re enjoying them, even if you won’t admit it.”  And then she laughed again.  “I can’t tell you how much Emmy and I enjoyed that little shopping trip,” she said.  “It was more than a bit different.  I mean, the two of us are used to shopping for ourselves.  We know what kind of styles we each like, but you…you were a real challenge.  We’re still trying to figure out what kind of styles we can buy for you, especially when it comes to things that might be considered the least bit babyish.”

As much as I didn’t want to say or admit anything about the subject to her, I felt like I needed to say something…anything.  “Uh…yeah,” I said.  “I can imagine that might be a problem.”

“Trust me,” she laughed.  “It was!  So much so, that we were joking about ordering some of those sissy baby dresses off the internet for you.  And I know you’ve seen some of them.  All of them are…ridiculous…and adorable.”  She looked at me.  “Would you like us to get you some?  Hm?”

How could I answer that?  Instead, I sat there and enjoyed peeing in my diaper for a brief moment that relieved my stress…only briefly.

She laughed again.  “You’re blushing!” she told me when I didn’t answer.  “I’ll talk to Emmy about it.  Mom and I knew each other’s likes and dislikes too.  Maybe too well in fact.  I could buy for her almost as well as she could buy things for me.  And back then, we both had no problem buying clothes for you.”

“Yeah,” I replied.  “I think in all the years we were married, I don’t think I ever had to buy anything at all for myself.  But then, why should I deprive her of another shopping trip…her favorite thing in the world to do.”

She laughed yet again.  “Yes it was,” she agreed.  “I know you went with her on a lot of shopping trips too.  Are there any that you particularly remember?”

“Shopping trips?” I said as my mind went back.  “Just being with her was all I cared about the most.  Did I ever mention that I loved her?”

“You might have,” she said.

“I remember a few trips,” I told her, “especially around Christmas time that were…I guess the only thing we could call them was epic.”

“That would be Mom,” she agreed.

“Yeah,” I said.  “One time we were out and…”

Yes, I liked talking about my wife.  In fact, I loved thinking about her.  It was much better than thinking about how much I didn’t want my diaper to leak or thinking about how worried I was about all the worrying I was doing.  So despite my worrying and my constant need to keep peeing at the slightest notice, I did my best to “enjoy” that conversation with Ashley as the two of us talked about the subject I was sure was the most important thing in both of our lives – my wife…her mother.  Rachel.  Damn I miss her.

 

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So many things in life though are inevitable.  Sunrise and sunsets.  Ocean tides coming in and going out.  Death will follow life (I was still desperately waiting for that one).  Sunday would follow Saturday.  And of course, Monday would follow Sunday.  And the other inevitable thing was that on Monday morning, Nichole would show up.  Yes, it was inevitable, and right on schedule, it happened.

“Hello everyone,” she called as she walked in from the garage.

Two seconds after she walked in, I caught myself going pee-pee, while Emily and Caitlin greeted her happily.  Nichole walked over to me and looked down at me on the floor.  “Good morning baby,” she said…so sweetly.  “Are you looking forward to playing with me again?”

I didn’t answer.  Instead, amazingly, I noticed I was going pee-pee in my diaper again.  Maybe I just hadn’t finished the first time.

I was not happy to see Emily and Caitlin leaving to go to work, just like I was not happy having Nichole there to “watch” me all day.

My vitamin drink was vanilla that day, the flavor I actually preferred.  “Haven’t you finished that bottle yet?” she asked as she came back and stood over me.  “Maybe we need to work on your bottle and pacifier sucking again like we did last time.”

I remembered how strongly I had been sucking on everything last week.  My mouth had been worn out afterwards.  I don’t know why I had been sucking on things like that all day, but I did know that I didn’t want that again.  I put the bottle back to my lips and kept drinking, which earned me nothing but a small chuckle out of her.  “Be right back,” she told me.

Two minutes later, she was back carrying her big shopping bag into the bedroom again.  Her bag that held…torture implements.  When she came back, she stood over me until I had finished that bottle.  She made sure my pacifier went back into my mouth then said, “Nursery!  Now!”

I reluctantly crawled my way to the nursery while she took the bottle out to the kitchen.  My fear had already been overwhelming, but with each passing moment it grew worse as I knew what had to await me.

In the nursery, she removed my little skirt before she did a thorough diaper check.  “Wet!” she declared.  “Emmy and Caitlin have both told me how much better you’ve gotten at not holding back.”  She caressed my face with one of her hands.  “I’m so proud of you.”  And then she laughed.  “Up on your changing table, my little puppet,” she ordered.

Fearful, especially of what might await me if I didn’t do what she wanted, I climbed up on the table.  I was feeling all that fear, and she hadn’t even connected that electric torture thing to me yet.  Before I knew it, I was fastened down firmly with my arms bent back under the strap and she had untaped my diaper.  The rope came next to bind my ankles and then raise my legs and hold them way back over my head, and as I knew she would, she lubed my ass and ground that huge…whatever it was into my ass to stretch it out way beyond where it should be.  After having it done to me twice last week, it went in a lot easier this time, but it was still huge and painful.

She seemed happy about something though.  “I think next time we might try moving you up to the next size.  Won’t that be good?” she asked.

I was too busy sucking my pacifier in absolute fear to answer.

Like everything else that was inevitable, she spent time carefully attaching that damn electric shocking device to my cock and balls…and she was even kind enough to try it out to make sure it worked.  I screamed bloody murder, losing my pacifier in the process.  There were tears coming from my eyes before she finished and stopped the pain.

One thin diaper soaked with a full glass of water later, she released me from the changing table to get down on the floor where I could crawl into my play area.  I was fine playing with the toys now.  I had spent many happy hours over the weekend playing in there by myself, or with Caitlin, or with Emily, and once, all three of us had played in there together with the toys.  I didn’t know why I was suddenly enjoying playing with them so much.  They were still nothing but useless stupid items, but somehow I did seem to like playing with them.  In fact, I was looking forward to it.  Especially if it would keep me away from Nichole and her stupid world of pain.

Two minutes after I got into my play area, she was back, coming all the way inside where I was.  “Are you going to give me any trouble today?” she asked.

“No!” I told her around the big pacifier in my mouth.  “Please, just don’t hurt me.”

She laughed.  “No promises.  No promises about that at all.”  She laughed.  “Hurting you is part of the fun.”

It certainly wasn’t for me.

“Count to ten!” she ordered.

I stared at her for a moment.  Not wanting to feel the pain, I said, “One, two, three, five, six, eight, seven, nine, ten!”

“Very, very good!” she cooed as she ran her hand over my face again.  “Play with your toys now, I’ll be right back.”  She left the play area, closing the gate behind her and walked out of the room.

 

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James picked up his phone the moment he arrived in his office.  It was late enough that he was fairly certain that Doctor Clive would be in by now.  He called her and reached her receptionist.  A minute later his call was transferred directly to the doctor.

“Hello?”

“Doctor Clive.  This is James Bryson.”

“Good morning, Mr. Bryson,” the doctor replied.  “What can I do for you?”

“Doctor, Friday night I had my weekly little talk with my father, and it was anything but what it was supposed to be.”

“Oh?  What happened?”

“From the moment I walked in, he was only concerned with one thing.”

“And what was that?”

“He’s convinced somehow that the entire family is conspiring against him.”

That sent a wave of concern though the doctor’s head.  She remembered Craig being concerned about that when she had talked to him in her office last week.  “Conspiring?” she asked.  “In what way?”

“He’s convinced that our real goal for him is to make him completely incompetent and have him committed somewhere permanently.”

It was exactly like Craig had outlined to her last week.  What concerned her the most was that he was still so focused on it.

“I asked around among a few members of the family,” James said, “and nobody seems to know what he’s talking about.”

“James,” the doctor said.  “I should not be mentioning this, but your father brought up the same thing to me in his visit last week.  I’m really just surprised that he’s still insisting that such a thing could be true.”

“Well, as far as I can tell, it’s not,” James told her.  “We’re thinking that this could be just his latest way to get himself out of the therapy the family is trying to put him through.”

“Yes,” the doctor agreed.  “That’s very possible and is most likely the case.  I’ll speak to him about it tomorrow when he comes.  Will that be alright?”

“I wish you would,” James told her.  “The entire purpose of what we’re doing is to keep him from worrying about anything, but he’s overly worried about this for sure.”

“I’ll speak to him,” the doctor promised.

“Thanks,” James said.  “I only called because I thought you should know.”

“Yes.  I appreciate that.  Just keep me informed,” the doctor told him.

 

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I crawled my way out of the playpen and climbed up onto the couch to lay with my head in her lap.  She pulled the pacifier from my lips and inserted the bottle instead.  “Now don’t fall asleep!” she told me.  “I want you to relax and enjoy me doing this, but if you fall asleep then you’re not getting your bottle, and you won’t be able to pee-pee as much.  So relax, but don’t fall asleep.”

I of course said nothing.  My mouth was too busy sucking that damn liquid into me.  The rest of me was totally focused on looking for any telltale sign that I might be able to go pee-pee soon to add to what was already in my wet diaper.  Little by little, I watched the level of liquid in that bottle going slowly down.  I was happy because for once I was going to manage to stay awake through an entire one of her feedings.

“Nicholes says to go night-night.”

 

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Doctor Clive sat through her first patient of the morning, but her mind wasn’t as focused on that patient as it should have been.  Instead, it was remembering the phone conversation she had had earlier with James…a bit of discussion about the same thing that his father had brought up in her office last week.

When her patient left, the doctor took a few minutes to make a phone call to her sister.  Her call was answered fairly quickly.  “Pat?  It’s me.  Got a minute?  I want to run something by you that I already know is dumb.”

 

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