My Funny Farm - Chapter 22 – In the Frame

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 22 – In the Frame

 

You know, it’s weird.  I distinctly remember two times during the night when I woke up because I realized I was going pee-pee.  But it was only twice, and I didn’t pee-pee that much anymore, so how come now that it was morning and I was awake, my diaper was so soaking wet?  At least it wasn’t leaking…as if one of those huge nighttime diapers could possibly leak, which I was fairly sure they couldn’t.

Emily had delivered my usual morning bottle of baby formula to me, and I was just lying there sucking it in.  But lying there drinking your bottle gives you plenty of time to think.  And of course, a lot of the thinking I was doing was about me.  Or rather, me and this new life everyone expected me to live.

One thing I had noticed was that some days seemed to fly by faster than others.  Particularly those days when Nichole was there.  I wondered why that was, or even why it should seem that way.  But hey, I was supposed to be a baby, how the heck should I know?

But the days flying by weren’t the only thing that seemed to be happening quickly.  There were so many unexpected changes in me that had happened pretty fast as well…or at least it seemed like it to me.  For instance, all that worry about my diaper leaking and being careful to make sure I pee-peed and poo-pooed at the slightest urge must have had more of an effect on me than I expected, because suddenly I not only never knew when I was going to have to go pee-pee or poo-poo, but when it did suddenly happen, I was enjoying every brief moment of it.  And then there were those baby toys I had hated so much.  Now I was not only enjoying playing with those colorful things, I was looking forward to it.  They were all strange changes in me that I never expected.  Oh, and one other thing too that I never expected.  I didn’t seem to mind those changes in me at all.  In fact, I liked them.  They made me…happy.  Who knew?

Rachel, don’t worry, I’m still coming.  Just as soon as I can!  I promise!

For some reason that I had never bothered to think much about, I was starting to like the loving care that Caitlin gave me more than any of the others.  Yeah, I liked Emily too, but for some reason Caitlin’s touch was starting to be special to me.  Someday that woman was going to make a great mother…if she could ever get rid of me, and I already had a plan for that.  It’s called suicide.

Wonder of wonders, I got bacon and eggs for breakfast that day, just like Emily, Caitlin, and of course Bill.  I just ate mine from a more colorful plate and had a funny looking spoon to eat it with.  I wondered if they should be jealous of that.  Caitlin and Emily maybe, but not Bill.  He was too…depressing.  Why did Caitlin love him so much?

After breakfast, I was heading for the nursery where Caitlin was going to change my overly soaked diaper, when I got a huge surprise.  Right there in the middle of the living room, I went poo-poo in a major way.  I stood still, totally surprised by it, and totally enjoying it.  Darn that felt good.  When it was done though, I took two whole steps, and had to stand still once again as my body was suddenly wracked by the most wonderful feeling I could ever imagine, and it seemed to be happening to all those parts of me inside my huge stinky diaper.  When it was over, I was breathing a bit harder and trying to figure out what had happened.

Caitlin was watching me and chuckling.  “It looks like the stinkies hit somebody twice!” she laughed.  “Come on baby.  Let’s get you cleaned up.”

The stinkies hit me twice?  Maybe.  I just wasn’t absolutely certain about that second time.  But what else could it have been?  I followed her into the nursery where she soon had my very stinky diaper off me.  Very shortly, I was in a nice thick comfy diaper and sitting with a bottle of that chocolate vitamin drink in front of my morning cartoons.  It didn’t take too long before I went pee-pee a bit in that diaper, which pleased me for a few reasons, one of which was that the diapers were a whole lot more fun when they were a little wet.

Nichole never exactly followed my daily schedule, but Caitlin did.  When TV time was over, it was back to the nursery to play with the toys.  And yes, I had learned that playing with the toys was a whole lot more interesting than watching those lousy cartoons.

As often happened when I was in my play area, Caitlin joined me.  I expected her to play with me, but she seemed to have other ideas.  Ideas that involved something colorful in her hand that immediately scared me to death…sort of.  She laid down on the floor with me and said, “Baby, you’ve been such a good baby for us lately that we think you deserve some rewards.  We’re going to get you a few more toys to play with, and we can’t do it today, but starting tomorrow, if you want, you can have an extra half-hour of computer time.  Won’t that be nice?”

My eyes were still glued to what she had in her hand.  “Yes,” I replied.  “The toys would really be good.”

She laughed a bit, leaned forward and hugged me briefly, but my eyes stayed locked on what was in her hand.

“And today I’ve got another reward for you,” she told me.  “I’m going to paint your fingernails and make them all as pretty as can be.”

Yeah, I was afraid she was going to do that.  What else would she be doing with several bottles of colorful nail polish in her hand?

“And baby, don’t even ask to get out of it, you don’t have a choice.  I’m going to put these pretty colors on your fingers whether you like it or not.”  She giggled.  “But baby, I already know that deep down inside you’re really looking forward to it.”

Was I?  Was it possible that she knew me better than I knew myself?  I doubted it.  But…yeah, she was right.  She was also wrong though, because while it might be fun to wear that stuff in the comfort of my own house, today was Tuesday, which meant we would be going to see Doctor Clive later that day, which meant that she was purposely doing this today to humiliate me.  That I could do without!

“Now lay still there and stretch out your fingers for me,” she told me.

I was about to protest, when I remembered what she had just said.  I wasn’t going to have a choice I the matter.  Would they really take me back to that behavioral center just because I refused to let her put nail polish on my fingers?  Somehow, I doubted that.  But still, she had been right about something too.  A very deep part of me was…uh…interested.  I laid on my tummy and stretched my fingers out on the floor.  Very soon, she was applying light blue polish to every other finger.  The blue was followed by yellow polish to the other fingers.

“So pretty!” she exclaimed when she was done.

Pretty?  I’m glad she thought so.  My aged male hands looked anything but pretty.  The word ridiculous came to mind far more than the word pretty.  She made me keep my fingers stretched out for a few minutes while she blew on them to get them to dry faster, but soon I was back to playing with my toys again.  Just that constant sight of the alternating blue and yellow fingertips nearly drove me crazy…crazier than I already was.  If I had to keep looking at that nail polish on my hands much longer, I was going to need to be in that behavioral center.  Rachel, don’t look!  I can’t help it.  They’re making me do all this.

I had been through Caitlin taking me to see Doctor Clive before, so the preparation for that trip didn’t surprise me at all.  I didn’t get a dress this time, she opted for one of those short skirt outfits instead.  I wondered if anyone had mentioned to Caitlin that it was starting to get cold outside this time of year.  But Caitlin I guess had that covered since she added a white cardigan sweater to my outfit.

And then came that long wig again.  Remember that?  I certainly did.  The wig that had hair so long it kept blocking my sight.  Although at the same time, it kept me from seeing the faces of some of the people around me.  Caitlin spent a few moments adjusting the wig on my head, and then added something new, hairclips.  She stuck two white plastic hairclips on my head, one on each side, to hold the hair back.  I felt more foolish than ever, but at least I could see.

And off we went!  Most days, I didn’t do much walking around.  When Nichole was there, I didn’t walk anywhere – period!  But now I was expected to do a lot of walking.  Let me tell you, after spending so much time in those really thin diapers that Nichole seemed to like so much, the thicker one I was wearing couldn’t be ignored, and not because of anything that had already leaked into it.  I noticed that diaper with every step I took.  I couldn’t not notice it.  It was…infuriating.  Okay, yes, it was also fun!  I loved it!  Just don’t tell anyone, okay?

We arrived at Doctor Clive’s office, and it wasn’t long before I left Caitlin behind and went in to talk with her.  I couldn’t help but notice the smile on her face when I went in and closed the door behind me.  A smile and…yes, she was trying very hard not to laugh.

“You look very pretty today,” she told me.

I stared at her.  She had to be nuts!  I was an old man dressed as…yeah, I guess a sissy baby was as close as I could come.  It was just Caitlin’s version of a sissy.  I didn’t say anything, I just sat down.

Her face turned serious.  “Craig,” she said.  “Do you still feel like someone in your family is out to get you?”

“Absolu…”  Damn!  I pulled the pacifier from my mouth.  I had forgotten it was there.  “Absolutely!” I told her.  “I know nobody believes me, but trust me, it’s true!”

She nodded.  “I’m so sorry to hear you still feel that way.  Has anything new happened to make you think your family is still conspiring against you?”

I had to think about that.  “Anything new?”  I shook my head.  “Fortunately, no.  Not as far as I can see.  But I know they’re all against me.”

She nodded, then said, “I believe it’s all in your mind, but I’ll go this far with you, you tell me as soon as you see anything at all that worries you about what they’re doing with you.  Anything!  Is that clear?”

I held up my fingers to show off my multicolored nail polish.  “Does the way they’re forcing me to live count?”

She smiled and shook her head.  “Craig, your entire treatment centers around this new life they’ve designed for you.  A life where they want you to be as stress free as possible.  Which is one of the reasons I’m so sorry to hear about you believing that everyone is out to get you, as you put it.”

“Trust me,” I told her.  “Going out anywhere, like here or to the grocery store, is anything but stress free when you’re dressed like this!”

She chuckled.  “I can imagine,” she replied.  “But that’s the life they warned you about.  How is it going by the way?  Any progress in getting used to it?”

I considered that, but I didn’t need to consider it long.  “Believe it or not, and trust me, it’s very hard for me to believe, but yes, there are things there that I’m starting to enjoy.”

She leaned forward, completely interested.  “Like what?”

“Well, naps, for one thing.  One in the morning and one in the afternoon used to be a bit much, but now….  Let’s just say they’re not so bad.”

“Anything else?” she asked.

“Yeah, the most unbelievable thing of all.”

“And what’s that?”

“Playing!”

“Playing?”

“With all those baby toys.  Up until recently, I hated them with a passion.  I didn’t play with them at all.  I only pretended to play with them when someone was around.  But now…  It’s weird.  I’m really starting to enjoy playing with them.  Don’t ask me why, but I do.  It’s fun.  I used to hate all those playtimes in my schedule, but now those periods are some of the best parts of my day.”

She seemed particularly happy to hear that.  “Oh Craig,” she said.  “I’m so glad to hear that.  All those play periods are in your schedule to try and stimulate your imagination.”

“My imagination?  With baby toys?”

“Yes!  Craig, it’s the way of life.  We all go through it.  When you were little, you played with toys and used your imagination one way.  When you got older, your imagination changed to a more grownup version that was different and more mature than when you were a young child.  But the older you got, the less imagination you used or needed.  And Craig, if you can’t imagine a life without your wife Rachel, then we’re never going to get you over this horrible obsession with wanting to kill yourself.”

“I don’t want to get over it!” I told her.  “I want to die.  I want to end this stupid life.  I want to be with Rachel again.”

“I know that,” she told me.  “But Craig, despite what you think of the situation, an attitude like that isn’t healthy.”

“I don’t want it to be healthy.  If I’m dead, then that’s about as healthy as I can get!  And if I can’t imagine a life without Rachel, then so be it.  And despite the fact that I’m starting to enjoy some of those dumb toys, I don’t see any way at all that they can help me with the fact that Rachel is gone now.  Forever!”

“No way they can help you?” she said.  “Craig, think about it.  Somewhere along the way you lost your imagination.  You need to rebuild it.  But if you can’t find anything interesting about the most simple things in life, like those toys, then how are you ever going to be able to handle all the chaos of normal grownup life?”

I had lost my imagination?  I didn’t bother telling her I had plenty of imagination.  My imagination put me back together again with Rachel, just in her world instead of this one.  But who would ever believe me?  No one in this world at all.

A short while later, my worst fears came to life when I realized that Caitlin was pulling the car into the parking lot of the dreaded grocery store.

“Behave yourself again!” Caitlin cautioned me.  “Don’t give me any trouble.”

I said nothing, but I was sucking my pacifier harder than usual.  She opened my door and unbuckled my seatbelt, and pulled me out of the car.  Ooo!  Cold wind on my legs!  She took me by the hand and led me into the store.   I didn’t need to be told to keep both hands on the handle of the shopping cart at all times.  The darn hairclips in my head made sure I couldn’t miss all the strange looks that people were giving me.  I did my best to keep my eyes on the shopping cart in front of me and nowhere else.

As always, Caitlin did a few diaper checks on me in the store.  “Who’s being such a good baby,” she whispered happily as my diaper grew gradually wetter…as if I could help it.  I was so glad to get out of there and back home again where my toys were waiting for me.

Caitlin kept me dressed the way I had been for the rest of the day, including that wig.  At one point, she even joined me on the floor of my play area and played with me.  That was fun.  Now that the dreaded outing was over with, it was almost like she was trying to make up for taking me out and giving me extra attention…which I loved.

 

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It was late in the day when Detective Kinsley had a moment to check in on what was happening with Craig Bryson.  On her computer, she typed in the web address for the special picture frame they had installed in his room the night before.  It took a few moments to download all the videos, but she soon started going through them.  The motion detector on the picture frame only recorded when there was something going on in the room, which was pretty much anytime someone was in there.

She saw Emily waking him up and giving him a bottle to drink.  A bit later, she saw Caitlin changing his diaper.  The next video showed him coming back into the room where he went into his fenced in area and started playing with the toys.  She saw Caitlin go into the area with him and lay on the floor with him.  She didn’t miss the hug she gave him lying right there on the floor.  She had to turn the video volume way up to hear what she was saying, but she heard every word of her telling him she was going to paint his fingernails.  She watched with concern as she did just that, using two different colors on him.

She knew for a fact that Craig was scheduled to meet with her sister for his weekly appointment that day.  She considered the addition of the nail polish to be for no other reason than to increase his humiliation, adding to the mental abuse they were all forcing on him.

Later, she saw the way Caitlin dressed him to go out, including adding a wig.  More evidence of mental abuse as far as she was concerned.  Craig needed to be away from all those people and needed to be put into that mental facility.  Unfortunately, the treatment he was getting was all part of some warped fantasy world that everyone claimed was supposed to actually help him.  Not that she could see.  In fact, all she could see was mental abuse of the worst order.  There was just nothing she could do about it.

She had to admit though, other than the way Caitlin had dressed him to go out, everything else she had seen her doing was nice, surprisingly loving care.  But more importantly, other than the way he had been dressed to go out, she saw no evidence of any kind of conspiracy against him at all.  She closed the last video and stored them all away into a computer folder labeled Craig Bryson.

 

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Ho-hum…  Life is beautiful all the time and I’ll be glad to see those nice young men in their clean white coats.  And they're coming to take me away, ha-ha.  Except there were no men in clean white coats, and I certainly hoped they weren’t coming to take me away.  But I was aware that they had threatened me with it if I didn’t do what they wanted.

Still, life was beautiful and…yeah.  I was beginning to find that life as a surreal baby wasn’t too bad.  Like they all claimed they wanted, I had literally nothing to worry about, not even leaky diapers.  Uh…I did worry about Nichole and her painful toys, but I guess I could consider the rest of my life to be beautiful as long as I could stay home and not go to the grocery store like I had with Caitlin yesterday!

Most of my day on Wednesday was absolutely normal.  Most of it was exactly the same schedule I had grown used to.  Most of it.  There was one very minor change however.  That afternoon, Caitlin told me that since I had been such a good baby that if I wanted, I could have an extra half hour of computer time instead of spending so much time playing with my toys.  Now here’s the part that surprised me the most.  I had somehow learned to enjoy playing with those toys so much that I had to seriously consider if I would rather spend more time on the computer, or more time with my toys.  In the end though, I considered that computer time was almost like having more grown-up time, like when I did my evening chores every day.  So I opted for the extra time watching the porn I seemed to enjoy so much.

As always though, after the computer time, it was bottle time then nap time.  And my afternoon nap times were something I always looked forward to, especially after I got to spend some quality time on my computer watching…well, you know.  Caitlin fed me my bottle lying on the couch, and yes, it was so relaxing I nearly fell asleep right there, but I was wide, wide awake as soon as she moved me into my crib and raised the bars on my jail…I mean my bed.

As soon as Caitlin left the room, I went to work.  This was the fun part.  Porn, bottle, wet diaper, and fun time humping my mattress.  And trust me, I went after it.  Except…I tried and tried, and nothing happened.  I wanted it to happen badly.  I wanted the fun, the excitement, the rewarding orgasm.  But all I got instead was a lot of nothing.  My damn cock wouldn’t even get hard.  In fact, as far as I could tell, it was about as soft and tiny as it could possibly be.  I kept trying though.  I kept rubbing, kept pushing, but eventually I realized that all my effort was going to be for nothing.  It was simply going to be one of those days when things just weren't going to work.  Oh well.  I figured that I was supposed to be a baby, and babies didn’t do those things.  I probably shouldn’t have been doing it anyway.  Disappointed, I closed my eyes, concentrated on sucking my pacifier, and fell asleep.  Yeah, naps were still pretty good.  This one just could have been a bit better.

 

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Like the day before, it was late in the afternoon before Detective Kinsley could download the videos that the picture frame had been storing.  After seeing the videos yesterday, nothing she saw gave her any alarm.  She didn’t miss watching him trying to hump his crib for a few minutes, but she soon skipped over that.  It wasn’t worth watching and she wasn’t interested in watching it.

Like she had concluded the day before, there was no conspiracy against him.  In fact, she was beginning to commend Caitlin’s loving care of him.  She guessed she needed to include Emily’s care of him too once she got home from work.  But a conspiracy?  She saw no sign of it, other than trying to reduce him down to complete babyhood, which as far as she was concerned, was all the proof she needed of something major going wrong.