My Funny Farm - Chapter 23 – Dreams of Money – Part 2 of 2

 

My Funny Farm

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 23 – Dreams of Money – Part 2 of 2

 

Yeah, there was no doubt about it, the days when Nichole was there seemed to fly by.  It seemed like I had just taken my morning nap, but when I thought about it, my morning nap had been followed by more playtime and of course lunch.  Then more playtime again.  So now it was time for my afternoon nap.  I guess I was just so afraid that Nichole would zap me again with her electric toy that my head stayed more confused than usual about things.

My diaper was more than soaked since Nichole hadn’t changed it yet.  In fact, despite that huge thing in my butt that still not just bothered me, but it hurt, I thought I smelled a bit stinky too.  But how could I have gone poo-poo if my butt was plugged up?  I couldn’t.  Not that I was exactly worried about it anyway.  I had no reason to worry about any of that.  If I leaked, that was their problem to clean up.  I’d just be a lot more comfortable if my diaper was only slightly wet instead of completely soaked.

As I laid there locked into my crib, I realized that even after a hard morning of crawling around and playing with my toys, I wasn’t really tired, but the lights were out and the bars were up, so taking a nap was about the only thing I could do.  I rolled over and concentrated on my pacifier instead.  Suck…relax…suck…relax.  I did that for a minute or two then yawned.  Suck…relax…suck…  Yeah, I fell asleep.  Isn’t life wonderful?

The crazy thing is that it almost felt like no time at all before Nichole was back and waking me up.  And for some reason, she seemed to be really, really happy.

“My goodness you stink!” she declared as she lowered the bars on my cage…I mean my crib.  Damn, I wish I was drunker to do this, but I guess we’ve got no choice but to change you.”

I was glad.  I gave her no trouble at all as she strapped me down to her changing table.  She had to do some major cleaning to my bottom, but soon she was dumping another glass of water into my fresh diaper and fastening it up.  Perfect!  Just the way I like them.  Already wet.

And then I heard her laugh.  She unstrapped me and let me down from the table.  “Into your playpen,” she ordered.  “Go play.”

I heard her laugh again as I crawled my way inside the fence.  She closed the gate behind me and laughed yet again.  I had no idea why.  I started playing with my toys while she disappeared for a minute.  I was just getting into the game I was playing with the blocks and the rings when I was wracked with the most horrific pain imaginable.  As I rolled in pain on the floor, I saw her back in the room with her cellphone in her hand.  The pain finally stopped, and I could really hear her laughing now.

“This is so much fun!” she laughed before hitting the pain button again.

I suffered through it two more times before she finally left to put her phone away.  When she came back, she had another glass of something from the liquor cabinet in her hand.  I tried to play, but to be honest, after what she had done to me, there was no way I could play at all.  I had been in misery, and she had thought it was funny.

A little while later, I was crawling my way out of my fenced-in play area and climbing up onto her lap for anther bottle.  At least the bottles were relaxing.

“Nichole says to go night-night.”

 

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She was drunk, and she knew it, but she really didn’t care.  She knew she needed to at least sober up a bit before she got out of there to go home…or maybe not.  Why ruin such a great day?  She was drunk, but not too drunk to go into his head again and remind him of the latest new things he needed to remember, or in some cases, not remember.

With that done, she pressed one final new thing on him for the day.  It was on the list they had all agreed on, but it was also one she was looking forward to, just for the fun of it.

Very softly she said, “You love being a baby.  Being a baby is so much fun.  It’s so nice not to have to worry about anything.  But baby, you also love being girly.  Being girly is also so much fun.  Think of all the fun things you can wear when you’re being girly.  So much fun.  In fact, you love girly clothes so much that you’d much rather wear them than men’s clothes, anytime, anywhere, even in public.  Maybe, especially in public where you can show off how much fun they are for you to wear.”

She paused for only a moment before she pressed her case into his head.  “Baby, being girly is so much fun, but you want to know what’s even better?  It’s even more fun when you can dress as a baby girl.  Think about it, you love being a baby, you love being girly.  It’s the best of both worlds.  You never worry about being a sissy.  If someone wants to call you that or think about you that way, that’s fine.  You just love being a baby girl.  That’s all you ever want to be.  Forget being a nasty old man.  Forget being a man at all.  What you really want in life is to be a baby girl.”

She paused again as she thought about that.  Yeah, that should fluster some of his doctors in the future.  Ha!  She leaned towards his head again and said, “Baby, you know what I want you to do now?  I want you to wake up when I tell you, and when you wake up I want you to go into your closet, and into all your drawers, and play with all your girly clothes.  Try them all on.  Make all the mess with them that you want.  All so you can be the pretty baby girl that you want to be.  So when I wake you up, go have fun!”

She let him suck his pacifier for a few moments before she said, “Nichole says to wake up!”

 

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Wake up?  Had I fallen asleep again?  Unbelievable!

“Baby,” Nichole said.  “Maybe playing more will help you stay awake.  You don’t have to get into your fenced-in play area.  You can play with anything at all that you want here in your room.  Anything!  So go, play.  Have all the fun you want!”

I was shocked.  “Anything?” I said despite the big pacifier in my mouth.

She laughed.  “Anything!”

“Yes!” I exclaimed.

I jumped out of her lap and headed for the closet.  It didn’t contain any of my old clothes at all.  Instead, it held a few dresses, skirts, and tops.  Those black shoes with the straps that went around my ankles were on the floor, right next to a pair of pink high heels.  I shoved my feet into the heels and almost fell before I grabbed two of the skirts and pulled them out.  I pulled one of them on then ran back to my closet like a madman, grabbing every top I could find in there.

I was aware of Nichole laughing in the background, but I didn’t care.  I just wanted to play with the clothes in my closet…and my drawers.  I ran to the small dresser and pulled out every drawer and everything from those drawers I could find.  This was fun!  Those pink high heels didn’t exactly say baby, but they were so much fun to play in too.  Why else would they have bought them for me?

It was a while later that I noticed Nichole again.  She had another glass of something in her hand, and she was singing and dancing.  Good for her.  I was busy having a great time!  Why had no one ever let me do this before?

 

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Detective Kinsley almost didn’t bother checking to see what the picture frame had caught that day.  Number one, because it was too depressing to see what they were putting that poor man though, when what he needed was a good doctor instead.  And two, because the last two days had shown her that there was no kind of conspiracy going on at all.  The guy was nuts!  Her sister had even said so.  In fact, everything they were putting him through was because he was nuts.

But the department was only letting her use the frame for a week, and that was it.  She pulled up the web address for the picture frame in his room and started watching.  What she saw was just what she saw every day, which was Emily and Caitlin taking very good, very loving care of him, as if he was a real baby instead of a grown man.  Disgusting!  But there was nothing she could do about it.

She was surprised to see Nichole there that day.  She had forgotten that she came in several days a week, and wasn’t something said about her torturing him?  It certainly didn’t sound likely.  She saw Nichole deposit a large shopping bag against the wall near his changing table, then leave.  The next video showed Nichole walking in and Craig…uh…crawling behind her.  Why was he crawling today?  But…it was probably part of his stupid weird therapy.

And then what she saw was everything going completely haywire.  She watched in disbelief as right after she yanked Craig’s skirt off, he began protesting…loudly and vehemently!  The shouting was loud enough that she didn’t even have to turn up the volume to hear it.  The argument was so out of character that she was completely shocked by it.  But it didn’t last long as Nichole seemed to wave her hand and say something…and he fell to the floor, completely limp.  She stared at the screen in disbelief.  Had she killed him?  It certainly looked like it.  He wasn’t moving a muscle!

She saw Nichole get down on the floor with him and lift his head into her lap.  Was she sorry for having killed him now?  As she watched closer, she saw him talking to him.  She had to turn up the volume to hear what she was saying, all of which shocked the hell out of her.  It still took her a few minutes of listening to be sure that he wasn’t dead.

After listening to the things she was saying, she had only one thought.  Conspiracy?  Hell yes there was a conspiracy!  She didn’t know how far it went, but she was sure she was looking at the head of it right in front of her.  She wanted to run right there and then to get Craig out of there and get him into the hospital where he belonged, but she stayed, watching the video for more evidence.  And more evidence she got…in spades!  All day long, whenever the two of them were in the room together, Nichole did nothing but put ideas into his head.  She had to be a master at hypnotizing people for those ideas to take that well, but as she watched, she realized she was dealing with just such a person.

By the time she watched a very drunk Nichole singing and dancing around his room, while he played dress-up with all his clothes, she had simply had enough.  She couldn’t take anymore.  As far as she was concerned, the words to the song Nichole had been singing was all the evidence she really needed.  “Baby, baby, oh baaabyy,” Nichole sang on the recording.  “I love you, I really do.  You’re going to make my dreams of money come true.”  It was a very old song, but one Kinsley had heard before.  It was a song that had been recorded by the Carpenters, called Superstar.   Kinsley could swear though that the real words to the melody didn’t say anything about dreams of money coming true.  In fact, she knew it for a fact!

She had enough of this.  She didn’t bother to call her sister, the psychologist.  She didn’t bother to call James, who she had worked with to allow the hidden video system to be installed.  Instead, she called for uniformed backup to accompany her to the house.

It was time…no, past time…to get Craig Bryson out of his house, and get him the help he deserved!

 

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A cute bib to protect my clothes, a colorful plastic plate with fun characters all over it, a colorful baby spoon in my hand, and friiied chicken with mashed potatoes on my plate.  Yum!  And unlike the others, I didn’t even have to worry about cutting my chicken up.  Emily had been kind enough to do that for me.  I could just dig right in.  Ha!  Take that everyone!

We all sat down to dinner, and now that I had gotten some food into me, I felt it was time to bring up the big subject I had been stressing about most of the day.  “Excuse me everyone,” I announced.  The way I had said it quickly got everyone’s attention.  “I know I’m probably not supposed to say anything, but I have something serious to discuss.  And I need to tell everyone about it now.”

“What is it baby?” Emily asked.  “Do you have a problem?”

“Yes!” I told her.  “I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I need to make a change in something important.”

Emily shook her head.  “Baby, you know you don’t need to worry…”

“Stop it!  Listen to me.” I insisted.

Emily sighed.  “What is it?”

I looked over at Bill.  “I’ve been seriously thinking about this, and I don’t think I want James handling my financial affairs anymore.  It isn’t right!”  I noticed the look of interest in Bill’s eyes.  I nodded at him.  “I want you to handle it all instead.”

“Baby!” Caitlin exclaimed happily.  “Are you sure?  That would make Bill very happy.  You know he’d do a great job for you.”

“Yes, I know he would.  Better than James.”

Bill nodded.  “We’ll call James about it tonight and make the change tomorrow morning.  I can have the paperwork drawn up in no time.”

Before I could say anything else, a loud urgent pounding came from our front door.  Everyone at the table looked startled.

“I’ll get it,” Emily said as she got to her feet and left the kitchen.

While we waited, Caitlin turned to me again.  “Are you sure baby?” she asked.  “What brought this on?”

Before I could answer, Emily’s concerned voice shouted, “Caitlin!”

Caitlin quickly got to her feet, but before she could take a step, the kitchen was invaded by what seemed like a horde of policemen.  Okay, I could count that many, three!  That detective, whatever her name was, and two more cops in uniform.

“Mr. Bryson,” Detective Kinsley said, “I’m taking you out of here and remanding you to the city behavioral center where you belong.  And I’m doing it now!”

“What’s going on?” Caitlin asked, totally bewildered.

“I just told you,” the detective replied.  “He’s leaving with me, just as soon as you can get him changed into some normal clothes.  And I mean normal male clothes.  His clothes.”

“But why?” Emily asked.

“Because it’s in his best interest!  That’s all I can tell you right now,” the detective told her firmly.  “Now do you have some better clothes for him, because if not, I’ll take him just as he is.”

“No,” Caitlin replied softly.  “I’ll…find him something.”

“Then hurry up!” the detective said.

Caitlin hurried off upstairs and the detective turned to Emily and Bill.  “I suggested you both make yourselves available all day tomorrow in case I need you for anything, and by that I mean that I will be needing to talk to you.  In fact, after I drop him off at the behavioral center in a little while, I’ll be phoning everyone else in your family and telling them the same thing.  I suggest you be prepared come in when I need you.”

Bill shook his head.  “This is wrong!” he stated angrily.  “I’m calling my lawyer!”

“Good!” the detective said.  “It’ll save time tomorrow.”

Bill looked at her for a moment, then hurried off to make his phone call.

Caitlin came back down with an armful of my old clothes.  I was led into the bedroom where she helped me get dressed, including real underwear that felt so strange I couldn’t believe it.  I had barely gotten my pants on though when I realized I was in the process of wetting them.  “Uh-oh,” I muttered as I looked down.

“Gramps,” Caitlin said.  “Just remember to control yourself.  Okay?”

“I’m not sure I can anymore,” I told her.

“I’ll get you some fresh pants,” she told me.  She ran off and Kinsley along with the uniformed policemen waited.  When Emily came back with fresh underwear and pants for me, I hurried to get them on.  Finally, I slipped my feet into my old shoes.  Shoes, that like everything else, I hadn’t worn in some time now.  I was about to walk out the door when I felt it once again.  I stopped still and stared down at my pants.  “Damn!” I cursed again.

“Gramps,” Emily said.  “I hate to say this, but for now, maybe a diaper would work better for you.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.  “Let’s do it.”

I was led back to my bedroom where Caitlin and Emily both undressed me, put a diaper on me, then redressed me again.  I immediately felt better having a diaper on than going without.

  Then, before I knew it, the policemen grabbed me by the arms and literally hurried me out of my own house.  I wanted to tell someone I needed my pacifier, but they never gave me the chance.  I got quickly shoved into one of the police cars and I was driven away.  They weren’t coming to take me away, they were there, and they were taking me away…to the funny farm, where life isn’t beautiful all the time, and there are no chirping birds or anything else!

Once I was turned over to the center’s staff, I was shown directly to a room.  My new home.  But for how long?  I went into the room and they closed the door behind me.  I knew my door wasn’t locked…yet, but it felt like a prison to me.  I looked around.  The room was nice enough, I guessed.  There were no bars on the bed like my crib at home had.  There was no colorful plastic fence full of toys for me to play with.  And there was no changing table where someone could easily change my wet and messy diapers.  Since I had wet myself twice more since they had put this diaper on me, I wondered how well that was going to work.

They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-ha, to the funny farm.  I didn’t find anything about this place to be funny.  In fact, it was downright depressing.  I already wanted to go home.