Gramps - Chapter 26

 

Gramps

By Karen Singer

 

Chapter 26

 

Hoping for something doesn’t mean you’re going to get it.  Praying for it doesn't seem to be much more successful.  And trust me, begging for it doesn't mean you’re going to get it either.  In my case, I hoped, prayed, and actually begged Kimmie to not go back up to Baltimore to visit the family for Christmas.  Or at the least, she should go, but leave me home here in Tennessee where I belonged.  I certainly didn’t belong up there, nor was I wanted.  But all my hoping, praying, and actual begging fell on deaf ears when it came to Kimmie.  She wanted me to go, and as far as she was concerned, I had no say in it.  Did I ever mention that she liked using the old “babies have no say in anything” routine?  Guess which one of us was the baby.  Not her!

Let me tell you something right now.  That morning when we left, was the morning that my entire life turned not just topsy-turvy, but it rolled over, died, and was buried upside down!  Right from the start I didn’t know which way was up anymore.  Why, you may ask?  Geez!  Where do I start?  I guess we better start at the top of the day.  The beginning.  So what was the beginning?

I had been afraid she was going to do it.  I had feared it from the time I knew we were going back to Baltimore.  As soon as I got out of the shower that morning, all my worst fears came true.  Kimmie laid me down and stuck that darn, stupid, blankety blank flat chastity device on my cock, rendering it not only useless, but for all intents and purposes, gone!  When I started to complain she quickly told me, “Little girls don’t have those ugly things on their bodies, and now, neither do you!”

End of argument.  Darn woman!  It was on and locked, including the tight strap that went all the way around me, keeping the entire thing as close to my body as possible.  Too close!  It wasn’t until it was on that she finished getting me dressed.

Oh no!  Do I have to go through this again?  Okay, okay.  Just hold your horses for a minute and I’ll get this over with.  Diaper…yes, even though it goes without saying now, Kimmie stuck one on me, right after she tried to kill me with too much baby powder, and right after…um…we’ll get there in a minute.  Now, where were we?  Oh yeah.  Diaper, pastel blue plastic pants, light blue tights, white frilly little girl style socks with blue accents, and a dark blue bra (why, I still have no idea).  Then she added, not a skirt, but a very short blue and white dress (at least it had long sleeves).  Have you noticed that once again there are a lot of very, very short skirts and dresses in the stores?  I have.  Kimmie was more than happy to point them out to me whenever we went shopping.  “Wouldn’t you love wearing that?”  Nope!

Uh…where were we again?  Okay.  Got it.  Still getting dressed, which was right after…  Like I said, we’ll get there.  That was the dress, which leaves my hair next.  No pigtails with ribbon bows.  Hooray!  But the hairclip she put at the top, after pulling the entire front part of my hair backwards so tightly I thought it would rip out, was a flowery concoction of blue and white ribbon that couldn’t be missed.

And…and…and…on my feet, those red little girl Mary Janes with the decorations on the buckle that Kimmie had kept away from me since Thanksgiving.  With all the light blue I was wearing, the red Mary Janes stuck out like a sore thumb.  Um…Kimmie thought those shoes looked divine with the rest of my outfit.  I simply wanted to stay home!

But I’m overlooking something that crashed my entire brain, just so I could get the clothing bit out of the way, and it started before I was fully dressed.  Okay…backing up again.  Shit!

I woke up (obviously).  I waddled my way into the bathroom where I shaved my face (Kimmie had given me a bath the night before where she had again shaved my entire body bald).  I removed my soaked diaper and stuck it in the diaper pail trash, then I jumped into the shower.  I didn’t want to get out.  Not because I liked it in there, which I did, but because getting out would bring me closer to having to leave to travel north to see the family.  And I didn’t want to go!  I think I mentioned already that my pleading hadn’t worked at all.

Anyway.  I got out of the shower and Kimmie was already there to help me dry off.  She took me by the hand and led me back to my bed where that new changing mat was laid out.  I got on it and like I said, she tried to kill me with the amount of baby powder that she used.

“Stop looking so glum!” she told me.

“Wouldn’t you?” I asked.  “This trip is a bad idea, and you know it.”

“Diane Alice!”  How dare you tell me that something is a bad idea.  I’m your mother.  You’re a baby.  A two-year-old baby, not at adult.  How would you know what a bad idea is?  You don’t!  So no more complaining.”

I stared up at her in disbelief.  What had she just said?  I really wasn’t sure, even after I had heard it.  “Uh…” I started to say as I searched for the words.

“Aren’t you going to tell me you’re sorry?” she suddenly asked, cutting me off.

Again, I stared at her in disbelief.  Huh?  Tell her…  “Sorry?” I asked.

“It’s sorry, Mommy!” she told me in a very stern voice.

I knew that somehow I had to be either still asleep and in the middle of a bad dream, or I had somehow been transported into another dimension.  “Mommy?” I asked.

“Yes dear?  What is it?” she replied as she finished putting the diaper on me.

“Um…”  I searched for words.

She looked at me, then stuck the big pacifier in my mouth.  “Sorry Diane, but sometimes your baby words are a little hard for Mommy to understand.  And I’ve got a lot to do this morning before we leave.  So just suck on your baby paci and let me get you ready.”

Mommy?  Diane?  What world had I woken up in?  Since I had been completely muted, and it was obvious that she didn’t want me asking questions, my mind went into la-la land as it tried to cope with all the sudden new changes.  She hadn’t even warned me!  Not one bit!  A little warning or especially a nice conversation about it would have been nice.  But no.  It was suddenly Mommy and Diane.  Diane?  Where the hell had that come from?  Had she said Diane Alice?

Before long, I was dressed.  Before long, I was given a bowl of cereal to eat for breakfast.  Before long, I was given a baby bottle of milk to drink with my breakfast.  Before long, my diaper was wet because too many things had already triggered my need to try to pee and poop.  And before long, I was put into the car and Kimmie buckled my seatbelt herself.

Since I’d be in the car, I wasn’t allowed to wear my coat to cover anything up.  “You’ll be in the car Diane,” Kimmie told me.  “You’d be too warm with that coat on.”

I’d be a lot more comfortable, is what I’d be.

The car was loaded with not just our luggage, but also with the gifts we had bought on a few different humiliating shopping trips.  Once again I was allowed to sit in the front seat with Kimmie, and once again she told me I didn’t have to have the pacifier in my mouth.  Yes, yes, yes!  Except…the longer it was out of my mouth, the more I seemed to want it there.  Shortly after we pulled out of the driveway, I grabbed the pacifier and stuck it back in my mouth.  Kimmie didn’t say anything.  She might not have even noticed.  Every time I wanted to say something, I would have to pull it out, but something told me I’d be putting it back after we talked.  What was wrong with me?  But the pacifier stayed in my mouth for the entire trip.  Except when I was talking or eating of course.

We had barely left the house when Kimmie asked, “Do you need a bottle baby?  Do you need something to drink?”

I had just had a bottle with breakfast, and I was already wet.  I pulled my plug.  “No, I’m fine,” I told her before putting the paci back and sucking again.

Kimmie’s response was fast and stern.  “I’m fine…Mommy!” she said as if she was angry.  “If you’re going to lean to talk, you’re going to learn right.  And little girls need to learn to be polite!”

Learn to talk?  Polite?  She had just jumped down my throat for answering her question.  No, she had jumped down my throat for not using the “M” word.  “Um…Mommy?” I asked.

“Yes baby?”  She looked over at me and smiled.  “What is it you want?”

I shook my head.  “Nothing,” I said.

“It’s nothing…Mommy!” she reminded me.

Oh boy.  The baby pacifier went back into my mouth immediately.  Something told me that I would be better off never speaking again.

For the first few hours, we talked a bit, never really saying anything important.  I soon figured out that I wasn’t supposed to even ask about the new names (or was it roles) for each of us.  She just expected me to understand and get it right.  No explanation needed.  I was supposed to call her Mommy every time she asked a question, and she was replacing Gramps with Diane.  At least, that’s the impression I was getting.  With the way things were going already that day, I couldn’t be sure of anything.

Other than the Mommy and Diane bit, we somehow managed to talk a bit, almost like real adults (if you don’t count me calling her Mommy).  We certainly didn’t talk a lot, I was too afraid to say much of anything, but we talked.  We spent more time listening to music than anything else, which gave me more time with my pacifier in my mouth, and more time to try and figure out what world I had woken up in.

The worst part was whenever anything happened around me or even started to happen…oh look over there (I tried to pee and poop).  Did you hear that (I tried to pee and poop).  Kimmie said something (I tried to pee and poop).  Diane…(I tried to pee and poop).  Diane…(I tried to pee and poop)  Diane…  Yeah, you get it.  Every little thing still had me trying to pee and poop in my diaper, especially every time she used the “D” name for me.  Annoying!  But I couldn't seem to help myself.

Yeah, my diaper was a real mess when Kimmie took me into a restaurant for lunch.  I’m not sure if the skirt of my dress covered my sagging diaper or not.  I was an even worse mess by the time Kimmie stopped for gas and then finally changed my smelly diaper.  And of course, afterwards, every little thing had me peeing and pooping again.

I could just scream!  But that paci in my mouth kept me from doing that.

After changing me, like the first trip, I got stuck into the backseat.  That was good.  No, that was great.  No more talking.  No more Diane.  No more Mommy.  I sucked on my pacifier and did my best to take a nap, despite things occasionally having me trying to pee and poop again.

To make a long story short, we arrived.  I still hadn’t figured out what world I was living in again.  Ashley greeted Kimmie with a loving hug outside of the car while I waited and sucked my pacifier inside.  Kimmie unbuckled me and pulled me out and Ashly wrapped me up in a big hug and said, “Hi Diane dear.  It’s so good to see you again baby.  Grandma has missed you so much.”

Grandma?  Yes, I wet my diaper again.  In fact, I almost pooped in it.

So I was Diane now, and Kimmie was Mommy, and Ashley was Grandma.  My daughter had somehow become my grandmother, and my granddaughter had become my mother.  My head was spinning trying to just place everything and everyone.

It was all games, games, games.  But those kind of games can have a huge mental impact on you.  I know they did for me.  I felt more like a child than ever.  Maybe it’s because I suddenly wasn’t myself anymore, and Kimmie had done it in such a way that it had all hit me with no warning at all.  Like a double whammy.  Couple that with the fact that I was out and around so many people, and in public, wearing a short dress and little girl clothes, possibly with my sagging diaper showing, and there was no way for me to get out of that situation anytime soon, and my head was so confused by everything that a real toddler probably had more of a grasp on reality than I did.

Before I knew it, I was again spending most of my time on the floor of Ashley’s living room, surrounded by my baby toys, of which I had more than I wanted.  Especially since they expected me to actually play with them.  I was learning though, or trying to.  When you’ve got absolutely nothing else to occupy your mind, your brain has to reach for something.  And the only somethings I had to reach for were all baby toys.  Play, play, play, or die of boredom.

The day after we arrived, I expected to have a relatively quiet day with just Ashley and Kimmie.  Not to be!  I expected that we wouldn’t be going out anywhere.  Again, not to be.  I also expected that it would be just the three of us.  Also, not to be.

I spent a nice relaxing morning playing with my toys (the ONLY thing I was allowed to do) while wearing my nice warm, footed sleeper.  Yes, Kimmie had changed my diaper before I had my baby food breakfast, but once changed, she had put the sleeper back on me.  I was happy with that.  As I said, it was warm and comfortable.  It wasn’t until after my baby food lunch that I got a hint that maybe something else might happen that day.

My diaper got changed.  I had noticed on the Thanksgiving trip that I was getting more diaper changes than usual each day.  I hoped it would continue on this trip too.  But after getting a fresh diaper, I didn’t get that comfortable sleeper again.  Instead, I got a bra, some white tights, a girly blouse, a super short skirt (all my skirts were super short.  Do you think Kimmie would let me have anything else?).  My red Mary Janes, and pigtails with two ribbons in my hair.

“Gee,” Grandma said as she looked at my hair.  “Her hair is long enough now that you could almost call them proper pigtails.”

“Yeah,” Kimmie had agreed happily.  “I can’t wait until it gets a bit longer.”

I don’t know what other plans Kimmie had for my hair, but I already dreaded them.

I was back playing with my toys when a little while later the doorbell rang.  Panic time!  I wanted to run, but I already knew that wasn’t going to happen.  Ashley answered the door and a minute later, Jenny’s daughter Allison walked in.  She greeted Kimmie then came over to me on the floor.

“And how’s my little niece Diane today?” she asked before bending down and giving me a hug. 

Niece?

Allison turned back to Kimmie.  “Ready?”

“I’ve just got to get our coats,” Kimmie replied.

They were going out?  Nobody told me.  But then, I was a baby…or I was supposed to be.

But Kimmie didn’t get her coat…first.  She got mine and put it on me.  Zipping the thing up for me.  I definitely wet myself then.

“Got your diaper bag?” Allison asked Kimmie.

Kimmie held up the large bag that I thought was just her purse.  “Right here,” she confirmed.

Before leaving the house, Kimmie just had to finish me off by brushing some blusher over my cheeks.  She turned to Allison.  “I’d add a touch of lipstick too,” she told her, “but it would be useless since that pacifier is staying in her mouth.”

Bewildered, I was quickly herded out the door and buckled into the backseat of Allison’s car.  Kimmie got in the backseat on the other side and Ashley sat in the front with Aunt Allison.  I had no idea where we were going.  I only knew I didn’t want to be going anywhere at all…except maybe home to Tennessee, but that didn’t appear to be happening.  Once again it was public humiliation time.  It never seemed to end anymore.

Oh the crowds!  It was the Sunday before Christmas and the entire world had descended on the city of Baltimore just to see me out shopping while dressed as a girly toddler.  At least, that’s what it seemed like to me.  Allison took us to a mall, and let’s just say the crowds were enormous.  I was constantly trying to pee and poop in my diaper, and I wasn’t the least bit concerned about stopping.

We walked…slowly…all around as they shopped.  I say slowly because with all the people there we couldn’t move very fast.  It wasn’t long before I was wondering if my diaper was showing beneath my skirt yet.  I knew it was sagging and I was waddling enough.

And then Allison had to go and ruin the really good time I wasn’t having by saying, “Here it is.  This is the place I told you about.”

I looked at where they were leading me.  A jewelry store.  More gifts…or so I thought.  Nope!  Well, I guess that’s wrong.  The gift we were getting there was for me.  Ten minutes after walking in, I was sitting and sucking my pacifier with a fierceness I had never done before.  I was also trying for all I was worth to both pee and poop in my diaper as…you guessed it…some lady I had never seen before was piercing my ears.  Ouch!  Um…make that two ouches.  Just that fast, I had pierced ears and I knew there were some kind of earrings stuck in them.  Just that fast, my stomach was threatening to heave all over the place.

“Oh, they’re so pretty!” Allison gushed as she looked at what they had done to me.

“Aren’t they?” Kimmie agreed happily.

“She’s going to love them!” Allison added.

I noticed that nobody was asking my opinion.  I had no idea what those earrings looked like, especially not in my ears.  Have any of you noticed how difficult it is to see your ears without a mirror?  And just then I was fresh out of mirrors.

With both of my ears stinging a bit, I was soon led out of the jewelry store and back into the mall proper that was full of cattle…I mean people.  Dressed like I was, and now with earrings decorating my earlobes that I would bet were probably sparkly, I felt more embarrassed and humiliated than ever.  And still I had no way out of it.  No way to do anything but follow Mommy, and Grandma, and Aunt Allison all over the place so that too many people could get a good look at me.  Yeah, my diaper was getting awfully wet…and messy.  And I couldn’t help it!  Blame Kim…I mean Mommy.

“Eww!” Aunt Allison said in one of the stores as she got a bit too close to me.  “I think somebody needs a diaper change.”

“Probably,” Kim…I mean Mommy agreed.  She looked around at all the people  “I’d change her now but there’s just too many people.  And I have no doubt that the ladies’ room is packed.”

“I don’t even want to imagine how bad that wait would be,” Grandma agreed.

“I could change her in the car,” Kim…Mommy said, but since we’re going home soon anyway, she’ll just have to wait till then.  Don’t worry, she’s used to living in messy diapers for far longer than she should be wearing them.  When I’m at work, she messes herself and then refuses to change them right away.  She waits practically forever in her messes.”

I what?  Hey!  That’s not right!  She won’t let me change!  Ugh!  Butwith that pacifier in my mouth there wasn’t much sense in trying to argue.  In fact, even without the pacifier I doubt I’d get far trying to correct the situation.

Yes, my earlobes were still stinging a tiny bit several hours later when we got home.  My pride was hurting far worse though.  To make me feel better, Kimmie put me down for a nap with a nice warm bottle of baby formula.  I was used to the formula now, but I still didn’t like it.  I also didn’t like those earrings I had yet to see.  As I laid in my bed, whenever I turned my head too far, the posts behind my ears stuck into me.  Earrings are a pain.  Both when they pierce your ears and then whenever you try to sleep with them.  Why were all women so insistent that they had to wear them?