by Karen Singer
Chapter 19 (Wednesday – week 3 Part 1 of 5)
Inside of Mel’s dreams, she searched for love. She dreamed of wanting to love someone. She dreamed she wanted to be… loved. Totally. But in her dreams, the only men she could find were horrible monsters that she was forced to reject, one after another. The feeling of futility sank deeper and deeper into her with each dream.
Her alarm clock buzzed and woke her up. Everything she had been dreaming was quickly lost. She only knew a touch of sadness as she awoke. Coffee! She needed coffee! As she made her way in the kitchen and began preparing her coffee maker, she thought about Chad. What had Cassie and Sandy done with him last night? Had he enjoyed any of it? She was a bit jealous that she hadn’t been there to at least see what went on.
Those thoughts led her directly to remembering her date last night. Ugh! Even now, all her thoughts of Detective Grey filled her with disgust. As the coffee began dripping into the pot, she couldn’t help but think about how totally insensitive the guy had been. Not an ounce of tenderness or caring in him at all. No wonder she had kissed him off a long time ago.
As she pulled a coffee mug out of her cabinet, she thought again about Chad. Would today go any better? She really hoped so. Yesterday had been a big wake-up call to her. You can’t have anything without some kind of price attached. She had been negligent in her responsibilities to him. And they had both paid the price. She looked up towards her ceiling. “Please,” she said aloud, “please be back to normal again. Don’t be mad at me today.”
Chad’s pink alarm clock blared music into his room, startling him awake. It took him a moment to collect his wits enough to groan slightly and roll off of his mattress onto the floor. He didn’t look where he was going however and rolled uncomfortably on top of the empty baby bottle he had drank last night and his pacifier. Ouch. He scrambled off of them awkwardly and struggled to his feet. The simple task was made very difficult because of the thickness of his diapers. They had been thick and heavy before, but this morning they were extra ridiculous. He worked his way over to his clock radio and shut it off. The silence felt like a huge relief.
Now all he had to do was to figure out why his damn diapers were so incredibly huge. Oh yeah, Sandy! She had put all those super thick diapers on him last night, even folding a bunch of them up as extra soakers before she pinned him in. Then during the night, he must have wet himself an awful lot… he remembered way too many baby bottles last night. No wonder. But the thought was disconcerting too. He didn’t remember wetting himself in his sleep at all. Had he? He was controlling himself perfectly during the day now. Completely! But he was obviously soaked under his plastic panties and he didn’t remember wetting himself even once while he slept. That wasn’t a good sign at all. And yet… the thought thrilled him to the core too.
He carefully waddled out to his kitchen – just in case she might have left him a note. His stupid diapers were so thick he could hardly move, let alone walk. He stopped before he got out of his bedroom and turned to look at his clock radio. He didn’t set it last night. He didn’t remember Sandy or Cassie setting it either. They might have, but he didn’t think so. Did Mel visit him? Feeling more hopeful than ever, he continued his journey to the kitchen.
“Yes!” he thought excitedly seeing the small piece of paper waiting for him on his counter. She had left another note. He was sure he wouldn’t really be happy with any of her instructions… but at the same time he was thrilled that she had left them.
Shave you legs when you shower.
Second bottle after your diapers are on.
Do your makeup and get dressed.
Don’t forget your pacifier!
It certainly wasn’t much. Nothing about what clothes he should wear or about what makeup he had to use. Very little. Nothing really out of the ordinary at all –except perhaps shaving his legs again, which would be a bit of a pain. Why had she bothered? He realized that she had bothered because he had asked her to, and because she did care after all. It was a nice thing to realize.
He went to his refrigerator and pulled out one of her bottles of tea and carried it into his living room where he sat on his only chair and drank it. He prayed that today would be better than yesterday. Of course, last night had been fun – surprisingly. Even though there were a few things that had happened that he would really like to forget.
When he got into his shower a little while later and started to wash his hair, he discovered something snagged in it. He was surprised, he hadn’t even felt it. Sandy and Cassie had left one of their ribbons still tied into his hair. It took him a while to get it out since it was now all wet and tangled up. He held it up. Pink. Big surprise. He finished washing his hair – which felt a bit different now that Cassie had cut it. He was dreading looking at it in the mirror.
When he had dried himself off afterwards, he took his towel and wiped the fog off of the mirror. His hair was tumbled all over the place. He found a comb and began running it through his hair like he usually did. The hair went where he wanted it to, it just didn’t look the same. Not at all. Not surprisingly, he thought it looked a lot more… feminine. That would be hard to hide. In fact, no chance at all. Just another nail in his coffin.
His hair was a constant distraction as he shaved. It looked so strange, so… girly! Even still half wet. The electric current of his sexual need rushed through him again the entire time he shaved. It was almost a blessing when he finished so he wouldn’t have to look at himself in the mirror anymore.
As soon as he got into his diapers and plastic panties, he went back for his second baby bottle of the morning. He sat in his only chair and contemplated the night before. He didn’t want to think about it, but not wanting to didn’t mean he could stop himself. He was bothered by his reaction to Cassie and Sandy playing with his backside – particularly when they had shoved – whatever it was – up inside him. It wasn’t natural. It wasn’t normal. By everything he knew it was all wrong. Yet he had loved it. What was wrong with him? He thought about the baby bottle he was sucking on and then the diapers he was wearing and sighed. There was a lot wrong with him. And none of it was anything he could, or even wanted to do anything about.
When he finished his bottle, he started in on his makeup. Just the foundation and eyes again because that’s all he had been wearing every day. Mel had never specified anything more. He almost felt like he was getting away with something because of it. And the whole time he worked on his makeup, he was forced to stare at himself with his all too girly haircut. He could feel very faint stings from his chastity device the whole time he worked at it. It was another reason to get the job over with quickly.
He turned to his closet, looking past everything that was all too wrapped up in her cling wrap. He looked through his shirts, trying to decide which one to wear. But his eyes fell on the blouses all hung up together. He still hadn’t worn one to work yet. In fact he owned a few that he had never worn at all. He fingered several of them, looking at them. He was very tempted to wear one. He was sure Mel wouldn’t mind. Even Robin had been asking why he never wore one. Should he? But his old male shirts were still that coveted privilege - one of the few things that Mel hadn’t taken away from him - yet. He opted for the male shirt again because he still could. He pulled one down and grabbed one of the few remaining pairs of women’s slacks that were still hung up in his closet. The rest, he realized, were in Mel’s clothes hamper. He’d have to ask her if he could do some laundry tonight for sure.
He started to put his shirt on, but his eyes fell again on the female blouses still hung in his closet. He stopped what he was doing and stared at the blouses. Should he? Did he dare? It was so tempting. But the privilege… “Shit!” he said aloud and took his shirt back off. He searched quickly through the blouses and picked one that had caught his eye earlier. As he put it on, he didn’t know why, but it felt like he was taking a huge chance by wearing it, as if what he was doing was dangerous or at least a bit naughty. But everything else he was wearing was female, why should it scare him so much? Maybe it was because this time he was wearing it as his choice, not something that Mel had dictated. He was purposely choosing to wear the blouse instead of taking advantage of his privilege to wear his old male shirts. Still, it scared him. This time he would be leaving the house without a single male item at all. Nothing! Totally female. And the electricity that was fueling his unrelieved sexual needs went up a few more levels. “Why am I doing this?” he mentally screamed as he finished buttoning the blouse. Yet he didn’t remove it.
Mel watched the clock anxiously. The time for Chad to arrive was rapidly approaching. And the closer it got, the more she thought about how things had gone yesterday morning and the more she worried about it. Would he still be angry? And how about last night? She didn’t know what Cassie and Sandy had put him through. Would he be angry about that too? She prayed he wouldn’t.
The knock came at her door, right on time. She opened it.
“Good Morning, Mistress,” he mumbled through the pacifier in his mouth as he dropped his usual curtsey.
She took in the entire sight of him with one glance, and she smiled. “Good morning, Sissy,” she replied as she stood back out of the way to let him in. She had quickly noticed his new haircut and the blouse he was wearing today. An electric thrill coursed through her.
She closed her door and took the bag of baby bottles he was carrying and checked it. Four bottles, three from this morning and one from last night. Perfect! She looked back at him as he stood there and smiled. “Cassie did a beautiful job on your hair last night. It looks great.” She didn’t miss the quick look of worry on his face.
“I never got to see it last night,” he replied. “I’m worried that it might look too…” he searched for a word to use.
“Pretty?” she suggested. “Feminine? Girly?”
He nodded. That was it exactly. And her words had confirmed his worst fears. He felt condemned all over again.
“It’s perfect for you,” she replied. “I love it.” Actually, while his hair did look feminine, it wasn’t too bad at all, it did look like it still needed something though, she just couldn’t tell what. She glanced now at the blouse he had chosen to wear today. “And I like your blouse too. It’s very pretty.” She saw him smile behind his pacifier at her approval. She wanted to tell him that his blouse would look a lot better with some padding in the cups of the girdle he had on underneath, but she didn’t want to spoil or diminish his choice to wear it in any way. She checked further, everything appeared to be perfectly in order right down to his jewelry. Put your bags down, Sissy, it’s breakfast time.
Chad inwardly groaned at the thought of eating her baby cereal, but he followed her into the kitchen and sat in his usual spot on the floor. At least he wasn’t sitting in Sandy’s highchair. That had been really humiliating. Of course, trying to cope with the tiny baby spoon to eat the cereal a few moments later was humiliating enough, since all too much of the cereal dropped onto the dish towel she had placed around his neck.
Mel wanted to ask him about last night as she stood and watched him eating, but the sight of him trying to deal with that ridiculously tiny spoon was too entertaining. There would be plenty of time to talk later. “I’ll have to drive you to work today,” she said as she saw him finally finishing his cereal and drinking the last of two baby bottles. Your car is still at work.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he replied. “I wasn’t sure what I would have had to do otherwise.”
She wiped his face very lightly with the dish towel to avoid smearing his makeup any more than she had to, but it still smeared slightly. “You’re going to have to fix that a bit later,” she said as she finished. He wasn’t very pleased to hear the word later, he would have rather fixed it right then.
Mel stuck two more bottles and a few extra diapers for him into a plastic bag and the two of them went down to her car. “So how did last night go?” she asked as she pulled out of her parking space. “Did you enjoy it?”
He thought for a moment about that. “Mostly,” he replied. “It certainly was different.”
“What did you do?” she asked.
“Ugh! They kept me tied in that chair for what seemed like forever while they played with me.”
“Played with you?”
“Yeah. I guess that’s probably the best way to describe it. Sandy spoon fed me baby food which all tasted pretty bad. Then Cassie started playing with my hair while Sandy put some makeup on me.”
“Did Sandy teach you any more about the makeup?”
“No, mostly they were treating me like a baby. They were really getting off I think on seeing how much junk they could stick in my hair at one time.”
Mel laughed a bit. “I can only imagine. I do like what Cassie did with your hair though. I think it’s a big improvement.”
“I’m not so sure,” he replied. “I didn’t even know how to comb it this morning. And now it looks totally girly.”
She heard him sighing. Obviously he wasn’t too fond of his new hairdo. Tough! She liked it. She made a mental note to thank Cassie later.
“So what else did you do last night?” she asked.
“Mostly they made me sit in the living room and play with a bunch of baby toys,” he replied. “That’s about it.”
“That’s all?” she asked.
He wasn’t about to mention anything else. “That’s was it,” he confirmed.
Mel got the impression he was leaving something out, but she didn’t press him on it. She turned into the parking lot for his company.
“My car’s over there,” he said as he pointed toward one of the rows of cars. “I can put these things into the diaper bag now instead of taking them into the building with me.”
She pulled over behind his car and waited till he got out. “Sissy,” she said before he could close the door. “I really am sorry about neglecting you before.”
He leaned into the car briefly. He looked a bit ashamed. “I’m sorry to for the way I acted yesterday,” he replied.
“Truce?” she asked.
He smiled. “Back to the battle!” And he closed her car door.
“Back to the battle?” she thought as she pulled away. “What’s that supposed to mean?”