by Karen Singer
Chapter 28 (Friday – week 4 Part 1 of 10)
Worry, fear, and confusion reigned supreme in every one of his dreams. All of his dreams being suddenly cut short by a big echoing scream of anger that was Mel’s voice yelling the word, “What?”
Over and over again it happened. Each dream causing his feelings of confusion to grow and grow. Each dream making less and less sense. He began tossing and turning restlessly… as much as his breast forms and overly bloated diapers would allow. The echoing shout grew louder and louder… “What? What? What? What? WHAT?” Feelings of worry and impending doom descended on him, making his fear grow more and more. A terrible nightmare that somehow was all too closely linked to the real world!
Fear! Doom! Fear! Doom! WHAT?
He awoke covered in sweat and breathing hard. His mouth was sucking as hard and fast as it could on his pacifier. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes, nearly scratching himself with the super long claws that were his fingernails. What had he dreamed? Now that he was awake, all that he remembered was the feelings of fear and dread that still coursed through his body. Only faint bits of light filtered into the room from outside. It was still too early to get up, yet he knew he couldn’t sleep.
He rolled out of bed and climbed to his feet, his heart still racing from his nightmares. He was immediately more aware of his diapers and how bloated they were. Messy too – as usual. He noted once again that he didn’t remember wetting or messing himself at all after he fell asleep last night – later than usual. And now he was up extra early.
What had gotten into Mel last night? He didn’t have a clue. But he was very worried that she might be mad at him for some reason. He just had no idea as to why. He waddled over to the doorway and switched on his light so he could see better. His eyes checked the time on his pink clock radio. Early. Very early. He waddled over to the radio to turn off the alarm so it wouldn’t go off – but the alarm wasn’t set! Strange!
Suddenly worried about whether or not Mel had left him a note last night, he waddled as quickly as he could out to his kitchen. He slapped at the wall as he entered it to turn on the light. But the bright stark light only showed him an empty counter top. There was no note. Nothing. What was going on?
He grabbed a baby bottle filled with her lousy tea out of his refrigerator and wandered out to his living room to sit in the only chair that he owned. As he nursed on the bottle, his mind tried over and over again to replay everything he could remember about the night before. All during dinner she had seemed fine… friendly even… in fact, she was really nice. Then they went to therapy together, and he didn’t remember one thing out of the ordinary there… till it was over. And suddenly she seemed to be angry. Not just at him, but at Gloria too. Why? Or was it that she wasn’t angry at him at all and was only angry at Gloria? He couldn’t be sure. But she did throw him out of her apartment the minute she got home last night. What had he missed? Nothing that he could remember.
But one thing was for sure, as angry as she seemed to be last night, he was going to be extra careful today to not make any mistakes!
Mel stared blankly at the black depths of the coffee in her mug. She had had a restless night with very little sleep. Deceived! Betrayed! All her dreams had been ripped out of her. Now, in the early morning hours, she only felt the glowing embers of anger… and a bone deep weariness. She would have gone back to bed, but she knew she’d never sleep. Deceived!
How could he do that to her? But he had really only proven that despite the fact that he was a sissy, he was still just like every other man on the planet – a self-serving bastard that can’t be trusted! Just thinking about him again made her lose her taste for her coffee. Making a horrid face at it, she put her mug down and wandered back into her bedroom.
She laid down on her bed again, hoping against hope that she could get at least a little more sleep. She was tempted to turn her alarm clock off in case she did manage to doze. So what if she was late for work? So what? Let her clients wait! She couldn’t care less! But as she reached out to turn the alarm off, she stopped herself. No, she did care about her clients – unfortunately. She wasn’t going to let them down… even though everyone in her own life was letting her down. With one final glance at her clock, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.
Chad opened the door to his closet and looked in. His eyes immediately fell on the only pair of pants still hung up there – the ones he couldn’t wear. His gaze moved over to the other clothes – blouses and tops with skirts mixed among them. Damn! He was going to do it again. He was going to go to work wearing a skirt – again!
Not wanting to select which outfit he was going to wear yet, he closed the door and went back to his bathroom, delaying the decision of what to wear as long as he possibly could. He spent extra time perfecting his hair and makeup, trying to make it look as good as possible… as feminine as possible. Not because he was a sissy, but because he was afraid that Mel might be angry at him and he wanted to do everything possible to make sure she wouldn’t find any further faults with him. Visions of her punishing him continually ran through his head as he worked, keeping him focused on the tasks that continually made him less and less of a male… and more and more of a sissy.
When his hair was finally done, and his makeup was finally done, dressed in only his diapers, plastic panties, waist cincher, and an all-in-one girdle, he again faced his closet. What should he wear? A skirt and blouse obviously. But which one? Having no preference, he pulled out the skirt closest to the left end along with the top that was right next to it. He knew they went together because Mel had grouped them that way. He held them up and looked at them. The skirt was solid black and tapered to fit fairly tightly. It had an elastic waist so it would probably fit him fairly well despite all the weight he had lost. It also looked a bit shorter than some of his other skirts. The top was a soft cotton print, mostly in differing shades of blue and white. It had white lace trim coming down along the low rounded neckline, emphasizing it beautifully.
For the second day in a row he wasn’t wearing pantyhose and he was rather enjoying the freedom. He pulled the skirt on and ran his hands down the front of it. It only came down to a few inches above his knees, but it did seem to fit really nicely. He decided he really liked the skirt. He pulled the top on over it and checked his image in the mirror. Excellent!
Now for the shoes. It was Friday. He and Mel always had their nails done on Friday evening. He was more glad than ever that he wasn’t wearing pantyhose that day since he’d only have to remove them later before having his toenails done. He chose a pair of strappy high-heeled sandals to put on his feet and fastened them on. He felt good! He looked in the mirror, he looked good! He added his necklace and ring and checked his image again. Feminine… somewhat. The longer he stared at himself, the more he could see the shape of his male body underneath. Not really feminine at all… just sissy! Ugh!
Mel’s slumber was interrupted by someone knocking on her door. She groaned and looked at her clock. Damn! She had fallen asleep – which was a good thing. But the knocking had to be Sissy. And he was right on time again, darn it!
She pulled herself out of bed and grabbed her robe as she walked, wrapping it tightly around her. Sissy! The last person in the world she wanted to see just then… and the stinking, rotten, scum-bucket, bag of sissy bones was knocking on her door. She wasn’t the least bit interested in seeing him – perhaps ever! She opened her door.
Chad tried to put a big smile on his face despite the pacifier stuck in his mouth, trying to please her. He dropped his best curtsey. “Good morn…”
“Get lost!” she shouted, and slammed the door in his face.
Chad was shocked. More than shocked. What was going on? Obviously she was still mad. But why? What had he done? Feeling confused, he slowly went back to his own apartment. Before he went inside, he cast one more glance back at her door in hopes that she had opened it again and would welcome him inside. But her door remained closed. There was no sign of her at all.
He went back into his apartment and stared at his blank walls. What was he supposed to do now? He always had breakfast at her apartment before he went to work. As horrible as her baby food breakfasts were, he was wishing for one just then.
Having no idea what else he should do, he went back outside and headed down to his car. It was early, so he drove to his favorite fast-food restaurant and ordered through the drive through. He sat in his car in the parking lot and fretted about Mel while he ate. He had no idea what was wrong with her… or why she should be mad at him. Would she call him later? Would she apologize? He simply had no answers.
With his breakfast finished, he continued his drive to work, getting irritated twice along the way because his too long fingernails kept getting in the way every time his thumb unconsciously tried to enter his mouth.
It wasn’t till he sat down at his desk that he remembered that today was the day that his divorce was supposed to be final. All his problems over Mel had put that completely out of his mind – not that he really wanted to think about it. There was nothing he had to do for it anyway… just sit back and wait till the paperwork was mailed to him – which could take several weeks.
He felt bad, not to mention frightened, over his situation with Mel. And now thinking about his divorce being final only added more weight to his depression. He pushed the button to start up his computer, sat back, and stared blankly at as his screen.
“Hi Chad,” Robins voice called cheerily from the entrance to his cubicle where she had stopped for a moment. As usual, her arms were loaded down with things.
“Hi Robin,” he returned rather flatly.
He noticed Robin staring at him again. He was about to ask her what was wrong this time, but she spoke first. “Wait a minute. I’ll be right back.” She was quickly gone to her own cubicle.
While she was gone, Chad glanced down at his clothes. As far as he could tell, there were no problems. He checked to see if he had maybe spilled something on his top while he was eating earlier. Nope!
“Ok,” Robin said breathlessly as she hurried back, this time with her arms empty. “I just had to put that stuff down. It was getting heavy.”
Chad expected her to come all the way into his cubicle, but she just stood at the entrance looking at him as if she expected him to do something. He wondered what she wanted.
“Ok, stand up,” she said as she stood there. “Let me see.”
“You’re outfit!” she replied like it was the only possible answer there could be.
Chad hesitated. He well remembered her actions yesterday when it was more like she was feeling him up. He wasn’t exactly in the mood for anything the least bit humiliating today.
But Robin was waiting impatiently. “I can’t see it as well if you’re sitting down!” she complained. “Come on girl, show it off!”
Rolling his eyes, he dragged himself to his feet, praying all the while that she wouldn’t come any closer than she was now.
Her face turned to a smile, which confused him a bit. “Turn around,” she requested.
Not sure he understood her right, he said, “Turn…”
“Around,” she finished for him as she revolved a finger in the air to emphasize what she wanted him to do.
Ugh! Women! Chad slowly turned all the way around.
When he was facing Robin again, she had a huge smile on her face. “I love it! It’s really cute!”
Chad was floored. “You like it? Thanks.”
“Yeah, it looks super on you!”
Chad looked down at his clothes, then back up at Robin. He smiled back at her. “Yeah, I kind of liked this too when I put it on.”
“The only suggestion I might make,” Robin began.
“Uh oh,” he thought.
“Is that… well… Your legs… They look pretty good… for a guy. But… well… I just thought they looked better when you wore pantyhose instead of them being bare.”
Chad was a bit crestfallen. He had rather been enjoying not wearing pantyhose, but now it sounded like he needed to be wearing them again. He was a lot more comfortable without them. “Do I really need them?” he asked uncertainly.
“Well, no, of course not. You look fine. Great, in fact. It’s just that I think you would look better if you had some. That’s all.”
“But I look ok, now?” he asked again for reassurance.
“Yeah, of course,” Robin repeated. Then she paused for a moment. “You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pair in your purse, would you?”
“No. Of course not,” he replied.
Robin rolled her eyes. “God! You have a lot to learn! What happens if you suddenly get a run? You’re going to need an extra pair!”
“But I’m not even wearing any. How can I get a run if I’m not wearing them?”
“I mean when you are wearing them! And it wouldn’t hurt to keep a pair in your desk too.”
“In my desk… But I’m not wearing any at all. I don’t need another pair!” he protested. Women! They could be so stupid!
Robin shook her head in disbelief. Men! They could be so stupid! “Like I said, in case you are wearing any. You’ve got to be prepared. Besides, sometimes an extra pair of pantyhose can come in handy for the strangest reasons. You should always keep a pair handy.”
Chad sat back down. He wasn’t going to win this argument – not that he even understood it. Besides, she had agreed that his legs looked fine as they were. That was good enough for him. Putting on pantyhose with his waist cincher was too hard to deal with!
But Robin was staring at him again. “You know what would look super with that outfit?”
Chad almost groaned. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but the word, “What?” slipped out of his mouth.
“Colored hose! Since you don’t have any with you, you should get some in a solid color. Like I think some blue ones would really look great!”
“Blue? Get some? I was going to stay like this. Besides, where would I get some pantyhose here? We’re at work!”
“I mean when you go to lunch silly.”
“Oh. Like I said, I think I’ll stay like this.”
“Suit yourself. It was just a suggestion. That’s all.”
To Chad, all too many suggestions from women sounded more like demands. At least this was one he didn’t have to follow!