Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Crying on the Inside

Last week I uploaded my story “Girlish” to Fictionmania (  or my story list at  ), and as I always do, I’ve been watching the reviews coming in.  Some of the reviews are very good… and some of them are very bad.  As I expected, “Girlish” is just as controversial a story now as it was when I posted it at a long time ago.  And as usual, reading some of the comments makes me feel like it’s time to quit writing – permanently.  Fortunately, I’ve been through this before and I always get over it after a few weeks and the desire to write returns.  Currently though, writing is not something I want to do – not story writing anyway.  Don’t worry, it will come back to me… eventually.    

Please don’t get me wrong!  I appreciate each and every comment that anyone bothers to write, and many of the comments are extremely positive!  Those nice ones are always just like a nice warm hug.  It’s just a few of the other ones that get me feeling down and depressed and confused.

As I’ve said, I’m actually very grateful to all the people who bother to leave a review of my work.  These are the people who were interested enough to bother reading it in the first place.  These are the people who felt strongly enough about my story that they took the time to pass on their opinions about it.  I don’t want them to stop writing their reviews or even sugar-coat them.  I’m grateful for their honest opinions… good or bad!  It’s nice to know what people think!  Sometimes.

The ones who say they were up too long at night because they couldn’t put the story down are my heroes!  The other’s that leave a negative response all leave me feeling sad – I can’t help it… it’s human nature.  And I mostly understand the reasons for what they say, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get disappointed.  As I said, it’s human nature.  But don’t get me wrong…  I DON’T EXPECT EVERYONE TO LIKE MY WORK!  That’s not my point here.  But I’ll get to that point in a minute.

In trying to understand the overall gist of the negative comments, to me, they all seem to boil down to a few of the same things. 

For one, I guess my mind doesn’t always write stories that fit into the “total reality box.”  That’s the little box that holds only stories where everything can only be completely as it would be in real life.  In fact, I don’t think any of my stories actually belong there.  All my works are fantasy – not reality.  I guess it’s difficult for me to understand that so many others who read the stories from that site don’t think that way.  Not only do I not claim that any of my stories are true stories, I state in the beginning that they’re all just a work of fiction and ask them to please take it that way.  I guess I need a better way to get that across.

Another little thing I’ve pieced together, is that what many of my readers are constantly looking for, is justice.  Swift and immediate.  Sooner rather than later.  I totally get that!  I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve read where all I can think about is why the main character doesn’t ignore all the consequences and do something to fight back… or at least go on some maniacal rampage.  Now that I look at it, “Girlish” falls pretty much into this category as well.  But… if that bit of justice actually happens, or if it comes too soon, what would be left of the story?  As much as I hate it, most of my stories don’t contain much in the way of the justice concept.  But then, in real life, many situations don’t get proper justice either.  That’s not an excuse, just an observation.  I’m afraid that when I write, I never know if the concept of justice will happen in my stories or not.  I don’t consciously think about it.  I guess I just kind of go with the flow.

And yes, most of the situations I develop are cruel and sadistic.  But then to me, a story has to have some kind of conflict or problem to revolve around, otherwise there isn’t much of a reason for the story to exist.  And I guess there’s a chance that many of my situations are worse than what other writers devise.  In fact, I don’t seem to write very many “nice” stories  at all.  Sorry.  And if anyone believes that there aren’t any cruel people in the world, then those people don’t get out enough – nor do they probably check to see what’s in the news.

One other thing I’ve been accused of in the past is bad character development.  I’m afraid I’m not good enough to be a judge of that one.  But I try.  I do think my work has as much if not more character development than some of the professional novels that I buy to read for fun.  But that’s just my opinion.  And I respect the fact that everybody is entitled to their own opinion. 

I’m just trying to understand why there’s so much fuss over my simple stories!

I made the mistake this time of checking the reviews for another author who had gotten a good number of reviews in the first week of publication at Fictionmania (not as many as mine, but still much more than the usual one or two).  The story I read was called “Potty Training Buddy” by Tammie2 – which seemed to hit on a lot of the things I like to read and fantasize about – and write about.  Anyway, I was amazed that every last review for that story was very nice and complementary.  I read that story with an eye toward trying to figure out what the difference is.  Why is that story so much better than mine?  And while I thoroughly enjoyed the story, in my opinion, every bad criticism that I got could more easily be applied to that story – yet I didn’t see one derogatory remark there at all.  Please don’t go out now and do something stupid to another author who doesn’t deserve it!

So here it is…

What is it about my writing that evokes such volatile responses?  At times, the reviewers almost seem to be arguing with each other!  And I’m talking about all my stories now, not just “Girlish.”  Check out the comments on “Baby Bobby” if you want to see another big debate ( ).  Do other authors get this kind of division over their stories?  What is it about my works that inspire this kind of reaction – both good and bad.  And as far as I can tell, the good and bad comments are so totally polar opposite that there is very little left in the middle. 

I guess though that I’m asking the wrong question.  The better question should be:  Should I feel happy that my stories cause this kind of reaction?  And overall, I think the answer should be “yes!”  Like it or not, my work is provoking an emotional response – good or bad – in my readers.  And it’s enough of a reaction that they not only take the time to read my work, but they go to the extra effort to write something about it – for good or bad.  And I appreciate that – a lot!  For good or bad.

But it still leaves me wondering if any other authors get that kind of reaction… or is it just me?  I guess I need to check on that a bit more.


In April, I plan to start uploading to Fictionmania, the individual chapters of “The Bet.”  This will be the version that I’m currently working on editing right now to fix little things like a million punctuation errors.  I’m not rewriting the story!  I’m only editing it!  My plans are to once or twice a week, upload full chapters – not the chapter segments you are getting now.  It should still take me most of the rest of the year to upload this little footnote of history to that site.

But now after uploading Girlish and seeing the responses, I’m left wondering a few things about “The Bet.” 

I’m totally amazed at the number of people from all around the world who are following “The Bet” regularly.  Currently, my 30 day total of hits is coming to just under 9,000 and my daily hits range between 250 per day to 400 per day.  Can you guess which days get the most hits?  Actually, back in October, before I went on vacation, I was getting over 11,000 hits in a 30 day period.  I guess a lot of people gave up while I was away for a week.  But I’m still totally amazed at how many people – from all over the world – are following loyally.  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!

Anyway, after studying comments… and now editing “The Bet”… and knowing how many readers I’ve got… and the fact that we’re now well into the home stretch for “The Bet”, I’ve started wondering some things. 

I know for a fact that all the people reading “The Bet” have to have different reactions and feelings about the characters.   I wonder if any readers actually identify with Chad, or with Mel, or perhaps one of the other characters?  Does anyone see themselves in any of the characters?

And how many of my readers just think that Mel is nothing but a cruel, heartless, sadistic bitch?

And how many readers wish they were in Chad’s shoes… or perhaps Mel’s?

And I guess the big question everyone is bound to have is… who’s going to win this thing?  I’m sure there are more than a few who think Mel is going to win… just as there are also some who think Chad will win.

To be fair, I guess another question along that line would be to ask who you want to see win, not who you think will win?  I wonder how many people don’t care?

It is my fondest hope that before I get to the very last posting of this story, most of you won’t be able to figure out who is going to win.  I can’t tell you how difficult that is, but that’s what I’ve attempted to do.  Well, I’ve tried anyway.

And finally, after all the soul searching I’ve done about my writing, I’m once again drawn back to one fact that has guided me for many, many years.  I write for me!  I don’t write for anyone else.  I don’t write what others want me to write.  I write what I want to write.  I write what my mind wants to be in the story.  If the story isn’t realistic – then so be it!  If the story contains sadistic cruelty – then so be it!  Believe it or not, more often than not, I’m not in charge of what gets written.  The story is in charge.  I just let my little fingers wander over the keyboard and I’m as surprised at what I type as you probably are when you read it.  I rarely know in advance what’s going to come out.  Fortunately, most of the time, I’m very pleased. 

And in the end, after I create something, I do like to share it in any way that I can.  Hence, this blog, as well as uploading them to a story site where they can be stumbled across and enjoyed for years to come by anyone who has the interest.  I’ve spent many happy hours reading “free” material that was created by people who wanted to share.  I guess I feel the same.

So that’s my little rant for today.  Sorry for venting to you all.  Don’t worry, I’ll get over it.



pansy_Faggotte said...

Dear Karen,...............This sissy too has posted on Fictionmania..with some 'nice' replies, and some 'MEAN' replies...I personally cannot see the point of bashing an Author because you don't like thier style or story type. I personally CANNOT stand fictionmania stories with Genie's, Magical Transformations, or the 2 or 3 different 'Universes' that people contribute to. Instead of BASHING/ and Ridiculing, I just don't read them !! I Bet, that a majority of the people that BASH stories, are the same dolts who would have trouble stringing a comprehensible sentence, and haven't a clue what syntax is. Keep up the Good Work... I wish I had the Money, I would start a sissy story website myself...

pansy F

Anonymous said...

Girlish is very well written. The story is unbelievable, but then again most TG and AB stories are the same. Girlish has no real likeable characters in it. As far as the Sadism scale goes, they aren't really that far up there. Considering some of the stories that are up on FM, Girlish is a family friendly love story.

sa said...


MommysSlave said...

(I had to break up my comment into two parts because it was too long, so here's part 1)

Hi Karen,
my only criticism is that I think you're being too hard on yourself. Maybe I'm letting my love of your stories cloud my judgement, but I if you objectively examine most of the criticisms, you'll see that they just don't make sense, or if you dig a little deeper, you'll find that the reviewer is also an author, and the "mistakes" they point out in your stories are even worse in their own stories. Let's take the review of Baby Bobby that's ninth from the bottom (its the long one). This reviewer is also an author and her main complaints are that it's too long and it was just too implausible. This is a criticism coming from an author who has a story that is twice as long as "Baby Bobby" and is about a teenager who goes to summer camp where one boy from each cabin is assigned by the camp directors to be turned into that cabin's sissy slut. Oh, and at the end it turns out that everyone is actually aliens from a distant star system. So it's implausible in your story that one kid forces another to convince people, over a few months, that he likes dressing like a girl but it's completely plausible in her story that a summer camp can almost instantly turn large numbers of straight teenage boys into crossdressing whores for gay, sadistic aliens. Her other criticism is that it's too repetitive. In the first chapter of her camp story the sissy (who just automatically falls into the role and starts thinking of himself as being sexy) has almost a dozen scenes of cock sucking and either getting spanked or beaten. She basically just kept changing the name of the guy getting sucked or doing the beating, and kept repeating the same scene. The whole chapter is a group of guys saying "you're a sissy, suck my dick or I'll beat you" and the other guy saying "OK, I guess I have no choice since that's what happens at this camp". She should really take a look at her own writing before criticizing others. It's like when North Korea criticizes the US' human rights record - it's so completely ridiculous that you should just not even listen to them. The most obvious thing that shows this reviewer is a moron is where she claims that the plot is confusing and hard to follow. If she found "Baby Bobby" confusing, I don't see how she's able to enjoy any story on fictionmania.

End of part 1 - Tricia

MommysSlave said...

(My comment was too long to leave in one comment so I had to break it up into two parts. Here's part 2)

I haven't read "Girlish" yet, but I did read the reviews, and again, you're being too hard on yourself. Most of the criticisms are that the story is unbelievable and many of the situations are implausible and the characters are unbelievable. Who wants to read a forced feminization story that is completely plausible with completely believable characters? I don't, and do you want to know why? Because it would suck. Here's a completely plausible forced feminization story "I moved into the dorms and some guy punched me in the face and tried to put a dress on me, so I called campus police, they arrested him and he got thrown out of school and spent a month in jail. The next morning I went to algebra class. The end." Their criticism is that it's impossible that so many people would have ignored his abuse and just let it happen. Again, I haven't read the story so I don't know exactly how much everyone knew about the abuse this adult was taking, but let's not forget how many people knew about Jerry Sandusky sexually abusing kids at Penn State and either looked the other way or actively tried to hide it instead of putting a stop to it and helping those kids. Or what about the Catholic Church hiding the abuse of children by their priests? That's just two instances of large numbers of people knowing that defenseless children were being mercilessly abused and did nothing to stop it, so why is it so unbelievable that people would not call the police if they suspected an adult was being abused? As for the criticism by the person who said "I don't normally like forced feminization stories, but I read this one because it had so many reviews. As for the comments that there's no likeable characters, what are they expecting from a story where someone is forcing someone else to be as girlish as possible, and the author warns of violent content? It's like complaining that the water in the hot tub is just not refreshing in the middle of July.

Sorry, my comment went way too long I think, but I couldn't believe that people were actually writing bad reviews about your stories. Just ignore the haters and keep doing what you're doing. If your writing was bad, you wouldn't have thousands of people reading it every week.


Rachel Belle said...

Dear Karen,

it's such a shame that after all your hard work you end up feeling hurt by some of the comments on Girlish. Isn't it typical of decent human beings that they are affected more by one negative comment than by ten positive ones.

From many miles away in Europe I feel I have got to know you a little through your writings, and am convinced you are a loving and sensitive person, who wouldn't harm a fly. I feel that the stories you write are wonderful specifically because the hero gets "forced" into the situations he does. It's what makes them work for those of us that love the humiliation and guiltless please of being dresses against our will.
I suspect Potty Training Buddy did not get the negative comments because the readers had self selected themselves (by it's title) into submissive ABs who need to be controlled by "Mummy".
With a title like "girlish" it may be that you got a much wider group of readers, ranging from the "forced to be girlish" fans through to the "gently pursuaded to be girlish" fans, and even the "how I chose to make myself girlish" fans.
Please don't be disappointed by these comments on your stories - you are a shining light in the world of TV fiction and a great example to other writers. I hope many of them follow your style

By the way - for my vote - I hope Chad looses the bet and is "forced" to be a maid for the year. During that year I hope he is persuaded to stay on for the rest of his life - either through gentle coaxing or better yet - a double of quits type of bet :)

Karen you are a wonderful writer and bring pleasure to many people - please try to focus on that - you make a wonderful contribution to our world

Love Rachel Belle

Karen Singer said...


Thanks for being my hero. Some of your comments made me smile.