By Karen Singer
Chapter 51 Part 2 of 3
Jessica sucked her pacifier until she felt she had sufficient courage to go out and face him again. And strangely, now that she knew how much they both had in common, she felt a need to see him again. When she got back to the exam room, she found her nurse in the room with him.
“Oh there you are doctor. I just finished his blood work.”
The doctor took the written results from the nurse and read through it. “Well,” she said, “everything here looks very good. And your hormone levels appear to be totally normal… for a man.”
“But all that needs to change,” Roger replied softly.
She nodded, then looked to the nurse. “Can you leave us again while I examine him?” she said. She turned to Roger. “You better start undressing or we’re going to be here all night.”
Her examination of him was perhaps the most thorough exam Roger had ever had. The only thing she didn’t do was to have him remove his corset and the camisole he was wearing under it. She claimed she could work around them just fine and it would be a lot easier than undoing the knots and trying to get the corset tightened again afterwards.
It was near the end of the examination that the doctor made a big decision. She wanted to talk with him more. She almost felt like she had to talk with him more. And… she had another motive as well. “Can I call you Candy?” she asked.
“You may as well,” Roger replied. “I have to start getting used to it somehow. And lately, I don’t seem to be Roger very much anymore. In fact, the only time I get to be Roger now is when I’m teaching school.”
Jessica wanted to ask questions about that, but now wasn’t the time. “Candy,” she said, hoping she would be able to do what she wanted to do with him, “I really want to talk with you more. Besides, since you don’t have a psychologist, and I’m fairly sure you’re not going to have one in the future…”
“Most likely not,” Roger agreed.
The doctor nodded and finished what she had started to say. “Then the more we talk, the more I can help you.” What she didn’t add though, was that she was hoping he might be able to help her almost as much. Even just a few more answers would be a big help.
“Sounds great,” Roger replied, wanting to have a chance to talk with her more as well. He wasn’t sure why, but he just felt he had to learn more about her. She was like him. She had endured Janice! “What did you have in mind?” he asked.
She looked up into his eyes. “Maybe… dinner tonight?” she asked.
Roger was taken totally by surprise. More so because it almost sounded like a pickup line to him and he felt the tiniest bit of cold momentarily hit his now useless cock. “Um… I guess so,” he replied. Since it was so late in the day, Janice had said he might need to get dinner for himself before he got home. So he could see no reason why he shouldn’t take the doctor up on her offer.
“I have to warn you about something though,” the doctor told him shyly. “About me.”
“What’s that?” Roger asked.
She looked away from him, pretending to be busy when she wasn’t. “It’s possible that I… may… have some… problems,” she managed to get out.
“What kind of problems?”
“Um… well… I don’t know if… I can go out for dinner or not… or if something will happen to me if I don’t go straight home.”
“What do you mean?” Roger asked.
“Last week when…” She tried hard to say that she had been kidnaped. She wanted badly to just talk with him about being tortured. But not one word of it would come out of her mouth.”
“Doctor?” Roger asked when she didn’t say anything. He didn’t know why she refused to look at him.
She changed tactics and tried something more vague. “Something happened to me last week,” she explained, still looking away from him and her voice contrite. “Something that I think you’ve experienced.”
“I’m pretty sure,” Roger replied, now realizing that she wasn’t able to say what she wanted.
She briefly turned and looked at him, then looked away again. “Anyway,” she said, “because of that, every evening when I get home from work now, I become… completely helpless.”
She turned toward him again and nodded. “Actually, I become…” She paused to find the courage to say it. She had told her sister about it last week, but it was even harder now trying to tell this… man that she barely knew.”
“You become what?” Roger asked softly.
She looked away from him again before saying, “A baby.”
That was somewhat of a shock to Roger. He had actually expected her to say a dog. She was still looking away from him. He could see how troubled she was. He walked up behind her, close to her but not touching. “I understand helpless,” he told her. “Better than you think. But how helpless are you?”
“I…” She shook her head and turned around to face him. He was so close to her. She had to look up slightly into his eyes… but then he was wearing heels and she wasn’t. And despite the makeup and the clothes, she couldn’t help but see the man behind the makeup. And it had been so very long now since her husband had left her. So very long.
“I… lose it all,” she said as last. “Everything. I seem to know who everyone is, but I can’t understand hardly anything of what is said to me. I can’t walk. I can’t seem to think of much except the kinds of things a baby less than a year old would think. I can’t do anything for myself at all. I… have to have someone taking care of me… just like… a real baby,” she admitted. “And… even now… even here… I’m stuck in diapers all day with no knowledge of when I’m going to do anything in them. And I also have to keep leaving my patients so I can go back to my office and stick a pacifier in my mouth for a few minutes. And you don’t even want to think about handing me a cup of coffee to drink. I’ll only spill it. I can only manage to drink from a baby bottle now and that’s it.”
Roger smiled. “It sounds like Janice was being her usual thorough self.”
“Janice? That’s her name?”
He nodded. “She’s… my housekeeper.”
She stared aghast. “You’re kidding!”
“No. But that’s a long story.”
She nodded. “How… how do you deal with it? She told me that you’ve been tortured by her many times.” She was surprised that she had managed to say that.
Roger closed his eyes in frustration at the question and moved back from her a few steps. “I can’t tell you what it’s like.”
“But how do you deal with it?” she asked again.
He shrugged. “I do the best I can. I’m guessing that you’ll get used to it all after a while. Maybe in a month or two, life will all seem normal to you. I really don’t know.”
“A month or two! She told me two weeks. I would only have to endure this for two weeks! Unless…”
“Two weeks? That’s all?”
“That’s what she said. Unless…”
“Unless I… gamble again. Then it would be back, only worse… and longer.”
He nodded. You don’t know how lucky you are. With all her other victims, I’m pretty sure it’s a life sentence. And I know I’m lucky compared to most others.”
“Others?” She remembered her mentioning other victims… and that they didn’t get the honor of remaining… human. The thought made her shudder.
“I’m only vaguely aware that there are others,” Roger told her. “Perhaps it would be better to discuss this at dinner instead?”
She nodded. “If I can have dinner with you without making a total ass of myself.” She shook her head. “Maybe it would be better if we skipped dinner since I don’t know what will happen to me if I don’t go home.”
But now that Roger had found someone who had been through Janice’s brainwashing too, he almost desperately wanted to talk with her more. “It may be worth trying,” he suggested.
She shook her head. “But we’d have to find somewhere where I can sit and nobody will see me drinking from a bottle like a baby,” she said. “Not to mention that there’s no way I can go that long without a pacifier in my mouth.”
Roger smiled. “I don’t care about the pacifier. I’ve been through far worse than that. And I’m sure we can find a quiet corner of some restaurant somewhere.”
She was teetering on the fence between worry of what might happen, and desperately wanting to talk with him. But the worry… “I don’t know if I should chance it,” she finally decided.
“I understand,” Roger told her, “but if it’s any help, a lot of people have told me lately to ignore what everyone else thinks of me, and just go and do what I have to. You have no idea how hard that is for me… especially when I look like… this! But you might want to think about that too. We both seem to have something in common… and because of that, I’d really like to talk with you more about it. I want to know what you’ve been through.”
She found herself looking into his eyes again. Kind eyes. But they masked a world of pain and trouble behind them. What had he been through? She looked away and down at the floor. “Okay,” she said softly. “But before we go, maybe we better make plans… just in case.”
“Perfect!” Roger declared.
She looked up with a smile on her face. “And in the meantime. Let’s finish with you so I can get to the last of my other patients. Otherwise I’ll have another reason for being late coming home tonight.”
Roger nodded and smiled.
She looked at him for a moment. “If you don’t mind, I’ll be back in a few minutes again. Okay?” Since he didn’t object, she hurried out of the exam room, her hand automatically reaching into her lab coat to grab her pacifier as she hurried to her office. With the door closed behind her again, she sucked on it blissfully while she thought again about the things they had just said. It was a few minutes before she was able to pull her brain back to thinking about business. She had already planned on what drugs to give him, and his lab results showed no problems that she could see. Grabbing the bottles, she pulled the pacifier from her mouth and hurried back to him.
“Sorry that took so long,” she apologized.
“It’s okay,” Roger replied kindly.
She tried to be all business. She handed him the first bottle. “This one is going to block the testosterone that your body is producing now.” She handed him the second one. “This is a form of estrogen. Even though I know we need to hurry you along, I dare not try you on anything stronger until I see how you do on this. Okay?” When he only nodded, she asked. “Can I see you again in about a month for a follow up?”
“I have no doubt I’ll be able to make it,” Roger replied.
She looked him in the eyes again. She really wanted to see him much sooner. Much, much sooner. She forced herself back to business. “You probably won’t see too much of a reaction to those pills at first. But after a few days to a week, you may start experiencing some mood shifts. That’s perfectly normal. Those hormones can sometimes magnify your emotions making them… a bit hard to deal with. Again, that’s normal. In fact, it’s kind of part of learning to be a woman.”
“I understand,” Roger replied. “Actually, I read that.”
“Good,” she replied.
“How much do these things cost?” Roger asked. “All my friends say it’s expensive.”
“For you… nothing,” she replied.
She looked to the floor sheepishly. “That’s part of… the other thing we were talking about earlier. I owe a lot of money. A lot… of money!”
“The gambling debts,” he said, remembering his last visit.
She nodded. “I…” she struggled to say the words, “have to… pay all your transition expenses. All your doctor visits, all your medications, even any surgeries you have later on. Everything!”
Roger was very surprised. “From what I hear, that could be a lot.”
She nodded again. “Yeah.” She looked up at him. “But not nearly as much as I owe on those debts. I’m actually getting off very easy. Plus, I won’t have to be paying all this at one time.”
He nodded. “Thank you,” he replied. “I know you have no choice in that, so I won’t try to even offer anything else. I know how that works. And to be honest, the expense kind of takes a big load off of my mind.”
She looked him in the eyes again. Those eyes that appeared so kind… yet hid so much more. “You’re welcome,” she said a bit bashfully. “Now, if you like, you can wait in the small kitchen we have for the staff while I finish with the rest of my patients. There’s coffee there if you want it. And when I’m done, we can talk about how I’m going to manage to go out to dinner with you!”