By Karen Singer
Chapter 58 Part 2 of 2
It seemed strange to ride in the passenger seat – up front. But Roger’s truck wouldn’t hold them all so Jessica was driving her car. With the two kids occupying themselves in the back seat with electronic devices, Roger and Jessica were free to talk. “You know,” Jessica said, “Jimmy was right.”
“Everything you do is masculine, yet you’re working on being a female. It’s conflicting images. And just like with Jimmy, I think it’s going to confuse people.”
“I don’t know what I can do about it,” Roger said. “I have to make a living. Not to mention that somebody we know is kind of making me go in that direction. And… I don’t really want to give up fishing. I’ve done it all my life. It’s really the one thing that has always made me happy. I can’t tell you how good I feel every time I get out there in the stream and start fishing.”
It was a moment before Jessica replied. “I guess you do need to make a living,” she said. And I know there are a lot of women who enjoy fishing too. It’s just that… you don’t seem to do any feminine activities. Nothing about you is feminine. Everything you do is considered primarily masculine. It’s going to confuse people and that’s not going to help you transition.”
Roger shook his head. “I don’t know what I can do? Take up sewing or something?”
“It wouldn’t hurt,” Jessica replied.
Roger thought about the situation for a moment. “I don’t really know of any feminine activities,” he said. “Not any that I have time for or that I have an inkling of how to do.”
Once again Jessica tried to consider his situation. “You need to learn to think more like a woman,” she said.
“I can’t think like a woman. I don’t know how.”
She looked over at him briefly before looking back at the road. “No you don’t. Not yet. But you will. Give it time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. The hormones will help some with that, but not completely.”
Roger said nothing to that. Basically, thinking more like a woman would be another way that he would be losing even more of himself.
They rode without talking for a few minutes before Jessica changed the subject. “You know, your beard is showing a bit though your makeup. I can see that you’ve got a pretty good amount of concealer on, but it’s still showing a bit.”
“I can’t help it,” Roger replied. “I’ve got a bad beard and I forgot to bring a razor with me to shave again after I showered.”
Jessica only nodded. “You need laser treatments,” she told him. She looked over briefly at him again. “Soon!”
Roger only sighed. “I know,” was all he said. It would be more and more of him would be disappearing.
For lack of somewhere better to take him, Jessica opted on the mall. While she wasn’t all that thrilled about being in that public a place with a man dressed as a woman, the mall offered them one place to go where they could get something to eat, amuse the kids, and do some shopping.
“What kind of clothes do you think you need?” Jessica asked as she tried her best to “casually” stroll the mall with him… while keeping an eye on her two kids who were walking just in front of them. “And please don’t tell me you’re looking for stuff to wear for your construction jobs.”
“No,” Roger laughed. “I need some casual stuff. Comfortable things that I can wear either around the house… and maybe some things that would be good to wear in public too… like tonight for shopping.”
“Sounds good,” Jessica replied. “I’m surprised you’re not just looking for dresses.” She corrected herself quickly. “Of course though, I’m forgetting that you never wanted to be a woman in the first place.”
“It’s okay,” Roger told her. “Actually, it wouldn’t hurt me to have another dress I can wear to church.”
While Jimmy was allowed to hang out for a little while in the arcade, Jessica and Jasmine led Roger through several stores. Jessica suggested a few types of items that she thought might help him out, but in all cases, she tried her best to let him decided on exactly which items he was going to buy. Of course, every time he did select something, she always seemed to find some kind of fault with it. “Candy,” she said after the third store, “you’re still trying to think like a man. You need to think more like a woman when you look for clothes.”
“I’m trying,” Roger replied, slightly frustrated that she should comment like that. “I thought I was doing pretty well.”
“Yeah, what you’re picking out is fine… except that most women wouldn’t fill their entire wardrobe with stuff that looks so totally drab that if you sat down in the dirt, nobody would ever even see you! Women are interested in color… and pattern. Everything that makes the materials interesting. And the materials themselves can add so much to the interest of what you wear.”
“Right now,” Roger replied, “I’m trying not to be noticed so much. Face it, I don’t exactly look all that good.”
“Yet!” Jessica declared. “Yet! Trust me, that will all change. And faster than you think! But if you’re trying to not be noticed so much, then picking only dull, drab clothing is only going to make you that much more noticeable since most women wear more interesting clothes. If you’re going to become a woman… even if you don’t like the idea of it… then you can’t be afraid of color and design. You have to embrace them and learn to appreciate and enjoy them. Like it or not!” she finished.
Roger didn’t know whether to be horrified, embarrassed that he was doing everything wrong, or angry because she was all but yelling at him when he was really trying hard. Before he could reply though, he felt Jasmine touching his arm.
“Girls are pretty,” the young girl told him. “If you’re going to be a woman, then you have to be pretty too.”
What she said was a bit hard for Roger to completely swallow at that point though… even though he knew what Jasmine meant. Or he thought he knew. “Thanks,” he said to the girl as he did his best to smile at her. “I’ll try.” He looked up at Jessica. “Maybe I should have her pick out all my clothes.”
“She’d probably do a great job of it,” Jessica said. “But then you wouldn’t learn anything. And I have no doubt that a few of the things she might find for you wouldn’t be anything you would want to wear out in public… or even to lounge around the house in either.”
Roger looked at her quizzically.
“She likes playing dress up with her dolls. Despite her age, she’s still into tutus and tiaras.”
Comprehension quickly registered in Roger’s mind. “No,” he replied with a shake of his head. “I really can’t see myself needing a tutu for any reason at all.”
“Not even for fun?” Jessica asked laughingly.
“Well… maybe,” Roger replied, doing his best to laugh as well. “But it might clash with my hammer.”
From that point on, Roger tried to pick bolder fabrics and colors, even though he had no idea about mixing and matching any of them. But both Jessica and Jasmine seemed to approve more often.
They took a break not long after, collecting Jimmy along the way, and headed to the food court for dinner. Roger tried to suggest a nicer restaurant, but Jessica put him off that idea quickly, declaring the food court to be a far better choice with two young kids along. A little while later, they were all sitting together at one of the tables, sort of enjoying their dinner. Roger was still doing his best to ignore anyone who might be staring at him. In fact, he had been doing his best since he got into the mall to not meet anyone’s eyes. He didn’t need to see the disapproving looks he was sure he was getting.
“Where’d you learn to fish?” Jimmy asked him with a mouth full of pizza.
“My father taught me,” Roger told him.
“Oh,” Jimmy replied sadly. Then he quietly went back to his pizza, not bothering to look up from it.
Roger looked briefly to Jessica. “Would you like me to take you sometime?” Roger asked.
Jimmy’s head came up so fast it was almost comical. “Would you?” he asked excitedly.
“I’d be glad to…” Roger started to say, but he was quickly interrupted by Jessica.
“Don’t be too fast to think I’m going to let you young man,” Jessica warned quickly.
“But Mom…” Jimmy whined.
“I really don’t mind,” Roger added. “Every kid should…”
“I know!” Jessica said, cutting him off. “And I would love it if you… or anyone, could take him. But I’m concerned about something else. Or… someone else!” she said looking Roger straight in the eyes.
Roger immediately knew she was talking about Janice. “I think it will be okay,” he said. “What if… we all went? And if you like, I have some good friends we can invite along too. We can make an afternoon of it or something. Fishing and… a picnic.”
“I don’t want my kid around… you know who!” Jessica stated flatly.
“Suppose I can get her to promise not to interfere or even be there?”
“How can you trust someone like that?”
Roger looked at her for a moment. “As far as I can remember, she’s never once gone against anything she has said. Never once!”
“Don’t stick up for her! She’s… an abomination!”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Roger replied, but he was quickly cut off by Jasmine.
“What do you mean an… aboma… abomamation Momma? Who’s an abomamation?”
“Abomination!” Jessica corrected her daughter while still looking directly at Roger. “It’s’ someone who is so bad, that nobody should ever be around them!”
“Think about it,” Roger finally said. “Every kid should learn to fish.”
Jessica only stared at him for a few moments before finally looking away. She took a deep breath and another bite of her food. Then to change the subject she asked, “Are you still going to look for a dress tonight?”
Roger shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe we better just call it quits and leave early.
“But you can’t do that!” Jasmine complained. “You gotta have a pretty dress if you’re going to be a girl.”
Roger sheepishly looked back and forth between Jessica and her daughter. He noted the slight smile of amusement on Jessica’s face that she was trying somewhat to hide. He turned to Jasmine and replied, “You’re so right! Maybe you can help me pick one out.”
Ted Jacobs parked his car and got out. Monica Williams got out from the passenger seat. They had sort of dated for several years now, but both of them knew that it was really nothing more than a mutual friendship and convenience for both of them. They both knew they would wind up back at either her place or his house for a good tumble in bed. And… they were both kind of looking forward to it. But for each of them, it was nice to be out having a good time with each other too and let the cares and stress from their busy lives fade way for a while.
Jacobs put his arm around her as he led her through the parking lot and into the bar they often frequented. As was often the case, the place was fairly crowded, but they were still able to find a table where they could sit together. The barmaid came over to take their drink orders. Jacobs noted that she was a new one… oriental and very striking looking. He placed an order for two tap beers and the barmaid quickly departed. When she came back with their drinks a few minutes later, neither Jacobs nor Monica paid her much attention as she set the drinks in front of each of them and left them to their conversation.
They had barely paid her any attention then, and they certainly didn’t see her quickly dosing each of their beers before she got to their table with little drops from a tiny bottle she kept in her tip apron. The dosages were very light… two drops for Jacobs, and only one for his girlfriend. But it would be all the barmaid would need… for now.
Jacobs finished his first beer and was surprised to note that he already had more of a buzz than he expected – after only one beer! But he chalked it up to a hard day. He signaled the barmaid again… the new girl really was pretty interesting… and ordered another beer for each of them. He and Monica usually drank two or three before leaving for the rest of their night’s business. With the slight buzz he was feeling, he figured her place would be more appropriate since it was a lot closer.
Their second round of drinks arrived and once again they didn’t know that their beer had been spiked. Two drops for Jacobs, one for Monica. But Jacobs had been rather annoyed when the barmaid had delivered the drinks… then leaned down and softly whispered in his ear. “You’re going to get drunk tonight.” She had left before he could say anything angrily to her.
The barmaid’s words stuck with him as he and Monica continued to talk and drink their beers. His buzz was far more noticeable as he was close to finishing his second one. And by that time, he was having more trouble keeping the barmaid’s words out of his head. He decided that he wanted a third beer before he and Monica left for the evening. They often did that anyway.
Once again Jacobs and Monica didn’t know that their beer had been drugged… two small drops for Jacobs, and one drop for Monica. And again, as the barmaid set their beer in front of them, she leaned down to say something softly to Jacobs. “You want to get drunk tonight.” It was all she said before she quickly departed. Jacobs stared after her, irritated.
But the irritating thought had stuck. Jacob’s mind wasn’t exactly working as well as it usually did. Despite the fact that it had been a long time since he had felt that buzzed, he decided that maybe getting good and drunk wasn’t really such a bad idea. Hell, he had just been thorough a really difficult week. The stress of the job was getting to him… and he deserved a bit of a let off once in a while. He soon ordered a fourth round of beer for them.
“What are you doing?” Monica asked. “You already seem a bit… loopy.”
“I feel like getting drunk!” Jacobs declared. “Why shouldn’t we? If we need to, we can actually walk back to your place from here. And I’ve had a bad week! I just feel like… getting drunk for a change.”
Monica was more than a bit surprised, but she decided to go along with him.
This time, the barmaid put four drops in Jacob’s beer and she put two in Monica’s. The result was that Jacobs seemed very obviously drunk by the time he was halfway through with his drink, and Monica was more than a bit tipsy herself. The two of them were laughing quite a bit and were definitely louder than they usually were. But that much beer in his system made Jacobs have to pee… and so did Monica.
“You go first,” she suggested. “I’ll stay here and hold the table.”
Jacobs got up and made his way unsteadily toward the men’s room. He headed straight for one of the urinals for some much needed relief. He was very aware of the man who quickly took the empty urinal next to him, but other than that, he didn’t pay him much attention… until he spoke.
“You should be honest with your girlfriend,” the man said.
Jacobs looked over at him, noting that he was another oriental looking dude. First the barmaid, and now this guy. The bar seemed to be filled with them tonight.
“You need to tell her all your deepest, darkest secrets,” the oriental man said. “It’s very important for you to do that,” he stressed.
“Blow it out your ass!” Jacobs drunkenly replied as he zipped up his fly and made his way out of the men’s room.
The oriental man only smiled. He had done his part.
As soon as Jacobs got back to his seat, he noticed another fresh beer on the table. Had he ordered another one? He didn’t think so but he supposed he must have. Well, he did want to get drunk tonight. He watched as Monica quickly got up and made her way to the ladies room. Damn, she really was a fine looking woman. Okay, maybe not as sexy as that little oriental bitch who was serving their drinks tonight, but Monica was a good woman. He sipped at his beer and remembered the words of that asshole who had spoken to him in the men’s room. Who the hell talks to strangers in a men’s room?
Monica quickly got into the ladies room and relieved herself. God she was getting drunk tonight – already! She could usually handle her beer better than this. And why the hell did Ted suddenly want to get drunk tonight? Oh well, she had been through a lot with him. She would just go along for the ride. She smiled. She was having fun tonight though. It was fun to just get good and sloshing wasted once in a while.
She finished in the stall and headed out to wash her hands and check her makeup. She noticed again how tipsy she felt. Well, if she was going to get drunk she was already a good way there. She was surprised when the barmaid walked in and started checking her makeup in the mirror right next to hers.
“You’re having fun tonight,” the barmaid said.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Monica replied.
“You should talk to him,” the barmaid suggested. “You should ask him if he’s ever done anything really bad in his life. Ask him if he’s ever stolen or taken anything he shouldn’t.”
Monica just looked over at the barmaid like she was crazy. “Why would I do that?”
“It’s good for a woman to know everything about the man she’s with. It’s important!” she stressed. “Ask him if he’s ever done anything he shouldn’t. And if he has, you better get all the details out of him… for you own sake!”
Monica didn’t know what to make of what the barmaid had just told her. She only watched as the woman left the ladies room. She finished what she was doing and departed as well. The barmaid’s words were ringing in her ears.
She came back to the table and watched as Ted took another sip of his beer. She leaned over and asked, “Have you ever done something really bad?” she asked.
“Have I what?” Jacobs asked, surprised by the question.
“I mean… like… have you ever stolen anything… or taken anything you shouldn’t?”
“I’m an FBI agent,” Jacobs replied, slightly put off by the question.
Monica just shrugged. “I was just asking,” she replied.
But the hypnotic effect of the Rohypnol that the barmaid had laced their drinks with had taken affect in Jacobs too. He suddenly decided that he wanted to tell Monica what he had done. He leaned forward and said, “Actually, I did do something once.” He proceeded to admit taking ten kilos of heroin from a major drug bust they had done a few years back, hiding them and only reporting the rest of the drugs that had been found. Since his partner at that time was a rookie, nobody even suspected that he had taken the drugs.
Monica was shocked! “What did you do with them?” she asked.
Jacobs shrugged. “Most of it is still buried under the woodpile in my backyard.”
“Most of it?” she asked.
He nodded and took another swig of his beer. “I used one to get a major criminal off the streets for a while,” he told her. “But the rest is still there.”
“What are you going to do with it?” Monica asked.
Jacobs only raised his eyebrows at that question. “That stuff is worth a fortune! It’s my retirement account.”
Monica was shocked! She didn’t know Ted Jacobs at all!