The Bet
by Karen Singer
Chapter 41 (Thursday – week 6 Part 2 of 8)
Robin was fretting. It was way past starting time and Sissy hadn’t come in yet. Had something happened to him… to ‘her?’ Should she call ‘her?’ It wasn’t like ‘her’ to be late for work – ever!
A bit of noise from the cubicle next door reached her ears and she was out of her seat in a flash to check. “Sissy!” she said with relief the moment she saw ‘her.’ “Where have you been? Are you alright?”
Chad pulled his cell phone out of his purse before he closed it up in his desk drawer. “I’m fine,” he replied. “I’m just running late today. Why, did anybody come looking for me?”
“Are you kidding? You know that nobody ever comes down here. Well, almost never.”
Chad was relieved. “So hopefully, nobody even knows I’m late,” he replied.
Robin smiled. “Girly voice!” she reminded him. “And ‘I’ know you were late. Even though I don’t really care… much. Hey! New earrings again!”
Chad turned his head back and forth so she could see them better.
“I like them,” Robin declared.
“Thanks,” Chad replied as he sank down into his chair.
“Girly voice!” she reminded him again.
Chad just rolled his eyes and still using his regular male voice asked, “Are you going to keep doing that all day?”
Robin confidently leaned up against his desk and replied, “You better believe it!”
Chad just rolled his eyes again. This was going to be another long day… he just knew it!
Mel walked her client to the door, shook hands with him and said goodbye. As soon as the door closed behind him, she headed back towards her office, stopping by Andrea’s desk on the way.
“You had a phone call while you were busy,” Andrea told her as she searched for and quickly found the small piece of paper with the message on it. “Are you taking up dancing or something? Because it’s from the dance clothing store at the mall. They said your order is in.”
Mel smiled broadly. “I’m not taking up dancing, but someone else is.”
“I wondered if that might be the case,” Andrea replied. “What are you getting him?”
“Nothing special. Just some toe shoes and a tutu. I’ve already got the rest of his costume.”
“Nothing special? So what are you planning on doing with it, have him put on a private little show?”
Mel’s smile turned wicked. “That much is for certain. But actually, I was considering something a little more… public.”
Andrea’s eyes went wide with surprise. “What?”
“You don’t want to know!”
“Wanna’ bet?”
Chad stared at his computer screen and mentally went through the list of little jobs he had to do… or rather could possibly do, because none of them were that important. Basically, he really didn’t have any major jobs to work on at all. He had finished the list of things that Tom had passed onto him, so he was now free to pretty much do as he liked… as long as Tom didn’t find out that he had nothing much to do.
“Break time, Sissy.” Robin called from the entrance to his cubicle.
Chad turned his chair around, but didn’t get up. “Hay Robin,” he started. “Do you…”
“Girly voice!” Robin reminded him.
Chad rolled his eyes yet again. “Can we not play that game?”
Robin went all the way into his cubicle. “It’s for your own good! And your female voice does need a lot of work. If you don’t get used to using it and stop using your male voice, then you’re never going to learn.”
“So in other words, you’re going to stay on my case about it,” Chad noted – still with his male voice.
“Girly voice!” Robin reminded him yet again. “Now say that again, like you’re supposed to!”
Ugh! “So you intend to hound me forever about it!” Chad replied, finally in his girly voice.
Robin smiled. “That’s much better. Now keep using it!”
Chad just shook his head in disgust before he continued – in his girly voice. “What I was trying to ask was, if you have a lot of stuff to work on? Because I’m not really working on anything much except stuff that doesn’t really need to be done.”
Robin shook her head and lowered her voice. “As long as you’re not going to tell anyone…” Chad just kept looking at her. “I haven’t had much to do for two days now. Just a few little things.”
“That’s pretty rare,” Chad replied as he got out of his chair to go with her to break. “Both of us aren’t working on much of anything. I wonder if we should ask Tom about it.”
“Are you kidding? I’m kind of enjoying not doing much.”
“But I’m getting bored!” Chad replied.
Robin giggled. “You can always work on your makeup techniques or check the dress sales like I do.”
Chad made no reply. The truth was that one time he had gone onto the internet – just for a few minutes, to look at some dresses. Well, he was wearing them all the time now!
The line for coffee was moderately long, but Chad walked right past everyone in line as soon as he spotted the doughnuts at the other end. He was already happily munching on one as he rejoined the line right behind Robin.
“I don’t know how you do it!” Robin stated. “I work my ass off at the gym and eat nothing, and here you are eating doughnuts and you’re still losing weight! What kind of diet are you on anyway?”
The first thing that came to mind for Chad was baby food. But of course he couldn’t mention that. “I don’t eat much at any other time,” he said as he stuffed more of the doughnut into his mouth.
“You’re so lucky!” Robin replied as she stepped up to the coffee pot. “I never eat anything and I still keep gaining weight!”
The table was moderately crowded, but Robin and Chad had no problem finding seats without pulling one up. Chad sat down and sipped his coffee as the women’s conversation droned on around him. He dared not say anything because it would have only led to further humiliation.
“What do you think, Sissy?” Someone suddenly asked.
Chad was startled. He had been lost in his own thoughts about what had happened between him and Mel earlier that morning and hadn’t really been listening. The last he remembered, the women had been talking about the latest fashions that were out. “About what?”
“Girly voice!” at least three of them reminded him at the same time.
Chad felt totally exasperated! They just weren’t going to let up – yet. “About what?” he repeated in his girly voice.
“What do you mean, about what?”
It was embarrassing to admit that he hadn’t been listening. “I mean, why ask me? What do I know?”
“But that’s just the point,” the woman who had first asked the question replied. “You’re a man… sort of… or at least you used to be… or…”
“Close enough!” another of the women supplied so she could continue.
“I mean, you’ve got to have an opinion about what you like and what you don’t.”
Chad hoped that they were still talking about fashion. “I haven’t really been paying that much attention to what’s new,” he replied.
“How can you not?” another one asked.
“But…” Chad continued. “I was kind of looking at some of the stuff that they’re putting on sale in a few of the stores, and…” he felt funny voicing his opinions on dresses, but… “and I kind of liked most of it.”
“To wear, or to see someone else wearing?” Another woman asked.
“Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to see a guy in any of it!” Chad replied.
“I don’t know,” another woman replied, “I’ve been kind of enjoying seeing you in dresses and heels for a change. It’s nice to see a guy learn what we have to put up with!” There was some general laughter and agreement around the table.
“That was supposed to be a joke,” Chad replied, forgetting to use his girly voice again.
“Girly voice!” Robin and another woman reminded him again. The other woman giggled.
“You’re just not going to let me be, are you?” Chad protested.
“We never let up!” the woman replied, still giggling.
But in the back of his mind, Chad was thinking that they had already let up on one or two things. For instance, they never asked him about the fictitious slogan on his non-existent t-shirt anymore. So, hopefully, eventually they might forget about this too. And that day couldn’t come soon enough!
Chad sat at his desk and stared at the company phone sitting next to his computer. Should he, or shouldn’t he? On the one hand, it was nice to not have much to do for a change, but on the other hand… Giving in to the inevitable, he picked up the phone and called his boss. “Hi Tom, this is Cha… I mean, Sissy.” It hurt a bit to say that, but he had only said it because that’s what everyone was calling him now.
Over the top of the wall, Chad heard Robin shouting, “Girly voice!” Which he promptly ignored.
“So even you can’t get it straight,” Tom replied.
“Well, it’s not that easy,” Chad explained. “And it’s kind of… embarrassing too.”
“I didn’t pick the name, you did!”
“Uh… I didn’t really get to pick it either. It was kind of… thrust on me.”
“So what can I do for you?” Tom asked.
“Um… I’ve kind of noticed that things have slacked off a bit here, work wise. I mean, I’ve got plenty to do, but… Do you know of any new projects coming though?”
“Any particular reason you’re asking?”
“No. I was just wondering.”
“Well, just so you know, we’re trying to close a deal on doing a site for another company. But it will be a much smaller job than the last one that you and Robin had to tackle. We won’t know for sure about this one though till next week. Are you looking for something to do in the meantime?”
“Uh… not really. No. I’ve got plenty to do here. I was just wondering, that’s all.”
Over the top of the wall, Robin again shouted “Girly voice!” Chad wished she’d stop that. It was embarrassing.
“Okay then. I’ll let you know the minute I hear anything else.”
“Great Tom. Thanks.”
“Girly voice!” Robin said once again.
“I’m off the phone!” Chad yelled back in his male voice.
Two seconds later, Robin was in his cubicle. “That’s not the point! You’ve got to stop talking like a man! It sounds ridiculous when you’re wearing a dress!”
“Maybe,” Chad admitted, “but my ‘girly’ voice, as you put it, is pretty ridiculous too.”
“Yeah it is, but if you’re trying to pass yourself off as a woman, it’s a lot better than your usual male voice! So what did Tom have to say?”
“They’re trying to get something, but they won’t know about it till next week.”
“Did he say if he was going to pass anymore work on to us?”
“I told him we had plenty to do so I don’t think he’s going to.”
“Good! Because I’m enjoying having nothing to do for a change.”
Mel had to fight her way past the large tutu in her hands to find the keys in her purse. Even wrapped up, the thing was difficult to handle. With a press of the button on her key ring, the trunk of her car opened and she was able to put everything inside. She was glad to get the bulky thing out of her hands… but she couldn’t wait to get the darn thing onto Sissy. She was sure that it would make him feel horribly silly and humiliated, but she was also fairly sure that he would really absolutely love the silly thing. Of course, he might not really like what she had planned for him with it. But then, that was part of the fun of all this.
A short while later, she was parking her car in a different parking lot, right next to Gloria’s car, which she noticed was empty. She hurried inside the restaurant to find her friend.
“Well you seem to be smiling awfully broadly today,” Gloria noted as Mel sat down.
“I just picked up a little something special for Sissy,” Mel exclaimed, “and I can’t wait to see him in it!”
Gloria hesitated before she asked, unsure that she really wanted to know. “And what did you get him?”
Mel actually blushed a bit. “A big tutu and some toe shoes to go with his pink and white ballet costume.”
Gloria just nodded. She should have figured it would be something like that. “And who’s more excited about it, you or him?”
“He hasn’t seen it yet, so I really don’t know. Of course, what he says about something and what he actually thinks are often two different things.”
“Are you sure about that?” Gloria asked skeptically.
That stopped Mel and actually wiped the broad grin off of her face. “Yeah. Fairly.”
“I see. So I take it you had your little talk with him finally?”
“You might say that.”
“Uh huh. And what happened? It sounds like it didn’t go well.”
It was a second before Mel could answer. “Not last night.”
“Last night?”
Mel had to stop to consider how to answer that one. “I think… we were both too out of sorts last night for that kind of discussion. He said some things in such a way that… I didn’t appreciate.”
“In other words, he’s human.”
Mel was a bit surprised. “Human?” A strange image of a mechanical Sissy robot pulled from her dream world that morning briefly flashed through her mind. “Of course he’s hu… Oh, you mean…”
“I mean he’s not perfect all the time. That and with the way you treat him, he’s got to resent it sometimes.”
“Maybe,” Mel replied. “Probably in fact. But he was falling all over himself to apologize to me this morning… and I kind of apologized to him too. We both felt really bad about last night.”
“You did, huh? Both of you? And so now you’ve kissed and made up.”
“We didn’t kiss!”
“But you made up.”
“Yeah.”
“And the results?”
Mel finally smiled again. “Full steam ahead – his decision actually. Full steam ahead!”
Gloria had been afraid of just that. The two of them really sounded more like an old married couple than anything else! In some ways.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Not Exactly Exciting
It was a very unexciting night last night. My supply of diapers is running out so I have to limit myself a bit more than usual. I did spend my time up until I went to bed last night wearing one diaper, heels, and my skirt. Oh wow! But I enjoyed it – that much at least. I spent the entire evening washing floors, and doing laundry, and cleaning up the kitchen. We have a large house so the floors are a real killer.
Tonight I’ll be doing exciting things like cleaning the bathrooms (all three) and vacuuming carpets! What fun! I wish I had a way to make it fun. But… I’ll be doing it in those five inch heels so that will help add a bit of interest.
No more diapers to bed I’m afraid (big sigh). My supply of that style diaper is almost gone. All I have left are the pull-up variety – of which I still have quite a few.
I haven’t listened to any of my recordings in two nights now (I was simply too tired). I doubt I’ll listen tonight either, but you never know. Without the ability to wear the diapers to bed, I’m not sure what the point would be – other than that they interest me.
My little play time is almost finished. Saturday I have to go to Louisiana to pick up my wife and her mother again. Then things will be back to normal again. Probably.
Please do something for me today. Find one concept that really turns you on, and then think about that over and over again all day. And smile!
Karen
Tonight I’ll be doing exciting things like cleaning the bathrooms (all three) and vacuuming carpets! What fun! I wish I had a way to make it fun. But… I’ll be doing it in those five inch heels so that will help add a bit of interest.
No more diapers to bed I’m afraid (big sigh). My supply of that style diaper is almost gone. All I have left are the pull-up variety – of which I still have quite a few.
I haven’t listened to any of my recordings in two nights now (I was simply too tired). I doubt I’ll listen tonight either, but you never know. Without the ability to wear the diapers to bed, I’m not sure what the point would be – other than that they interest me.
My little play time is almost finished. Saturday I have to go to Louisiana to pick up my wife and her mother again. Then things will be back to normal again. Probably.
Please do something for me today. Find one concept that really turns you on, and then think about that over and over again all day. And smile!
Karen
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Success or Failure
Hi All,
Last night started out a whole lot different than I planned. I got “one of those” phone calls on my way home from work and had to deal with an ongoing family matter that has plagued me for the last fifteen years. I won’t say more about it because it makes me furious!!!
Anyway, after I finally got home, I almost cancelled all my plans. But… I decided to go ahead anyway. My original plan was to get home from work and then spend an hour and a half getting my body into “wetting mode.” Then try to get a diaper leaking within a two hour time limit. Well, the first part, preparing for it was already out the window by the time I got home, but I decided to try anyway. If I didn’t make it, I was going to spend a minute on the perch for every minute extra over the two hour time limit it took get the diaper to leak.
I put my single diaper on at 7:40 PM. I did it exactly the way I always do when I wear only one diaper. I made sure it was nice and tight and snug all over – just as usual. No cheating. Then I hit the iced tea and the water – in serious amounts! Actually, I had already started on the iced tea as soon as I got home. After thirty minutes, I couldn’t believe that I still hadn’t wet one little bit. And at that point I started pushing, trying to make myself pee. As the time went on, I never stopped pushing and trying.
I don’t think I peed the first time till about the forty five minute point. But just once isn’t nearly enough. I was gulping down water in record amounts and constantly trying everything I could do to pee. It’s amazing how having that deadline can put you into a panic and make you do things you never thought you would. Not only did I not hold back, I was actively pushing and trying to do everything possible to make myself pee for the entire time.
Eventually, I started peeing more and more. And I kept watching the clock more and more, especially as the time limit grew shorter and shorter. By the hour and a half point my diaper was certainly very wet, but was still a long way from leaking. I was getting really worried then and pushed even harder. I also drank even more. And I did keep wetting more and more frequently. But since I was pushing constantly, I was wetting frequently but in small amounts. Still, overall, I was wetting a lot.
At ten minutes to go I was really afraid I wasn’t going to make it. I did manage to pee though quite a bit in the next few minutes. At five minutes to go I knew my diaper was getting close… but how could I do anything more to make it leak than what I was already doing? The panic was really hitting me then. So close!
Every single minute was like torture. I was trying so hard. My diaper was so close. Just before the deadline, I felt myself peeing a little bit again, but nothing. And my diaper was so saturated. I had failed!
With my water glass empty, I immediately headed down the steps to refill it again, and I felt myself peeing again as I went down. And then, at the bottom of the steps, I noticed something that I should have noticed earlier – the outside of my diaper at the leg opening felt a bit odd – possibly wet. I reached down and touched it. It was wet! Had I been leaking earlier and didn’t know it? I was possible, but I just didn’t know for sure. So for the record, I’m judged myself to be two minutes late. I continued into the kitchen, filled my water glass, and had to consume quite a bit of it, even though I didn’t want or need it anymore – because it was time to take my nightly pills. Ugh!
So that’s what happened there. I didn’t make it… but I did. You be the judge. Anyway, I confirmed two things for the story. One, it is possible to get a diaper leaking in two hours or less. And two, just having that time limit actually forced me to keep pushing and to not hold back one bit. So from that standpoint, what’s happening in the story – is possible. Hooray!
I had planned on going to bed after that and listening to my hypno recording again, but for some reason, I wasn’t the least bit tired. I changed out of my single “leaking” diaper and put four diapers on for bedtime – knowing that it was going to be a very wet night. Since I wasn’t tired, I went back to the computer because thinking about my hypnotic recording made me curious about some of the other files on the Warp My Mind site – where I got the files I have now.
Oh, and it was Tricia who asked what hypnosis files I’ve been listening to. A long time ago I purchased three files from Warp My Mind. All of them were done by Mind Master: Bladder Retraining, Baby Acceptance, and Baby Behaviors (Revised). I never listen to the first one. I think the second one is by far the most affective. But this time I’m trying to listen to the last one since it has some baby behaviors on it other than just wetting all the time. Unfortunately, it’s about a forty minute tape and there aren’t all that many behaviors.
Anyway, I downloaded a bunch of their free files that I got curious about while I was searching for files to affect baby behavior. I listened to three of them last night, only one of which I liked. I have more to go through tonight. But as they say – you get what you pay for and these were free.
My normal bedtime is around ten o’clock. But last night I didn’t turn the light off till after twelve thirty. And yes, I was wetting profusely all the time before that! And… I was wetting profusely all the time after that. In fact, I was wetting a little bit at a time almost constantly. But it was so easy I barely noticed I was doing it! And I slept! I’m fairly sure I was wetting myself in my sleep! No, I know that I was! I did pull myself out of sound sleep a number of times and noticed I was still wetting very frequently.
About three thirty in the morning, I started to get concerned about how wet my four diapers already were – and I was still peeing. I didn’t notice any leeks but I was really getting worried about it. I was still peeing so much it was almost ridiculous. So I decided to get up and change out of the four diapers into two more to finish the night. It’s a good thing I did because – I was leaking! Not around the leg-band or at the sides where I normally leak, but over the top at my waist – in several places. The rest of the diaper(s) were so wet that it was ridiculous. My t-shirt I was wearing on top was wet too. It’s amazing I didn’t feel it. Fortunately, my sheet was only a tiny bit wet – amazingly.
So I changed into two fresh diapers – and went back to sleep till five-thirty when I got up, posted the latest on The Bet, and started exercising – in my now very soaked two diapers.
Yes, I’m again wearing one of the pull up diapers at work because I was afraid I might have an accident, but fortunately, no problems (yet).
By the way, sorry, but there will be no pictures. I got the tripod out last night and all set up, then I went to grab the camera and discovered that my wife had taken it with her. I’m disappointed because I really wanted to show you one of the pairs of shoes I got – they’re really pretty.
Oh well, that’s the way it goes. And speaking of going, I’ve gone on way, way too long.
Think happy thoughts today everyone,
Karen
Last night started out a whole lot different than I planned. I got “one of those” phone calls on my way home from work and had to deal with an ongoing family matter that has plagued me for the last fifteen years. I won’t say more about it because it makes me furious!!!
Anyway, after I finally got home, I almost cancelled all my plans. But… I decided to go ahead anyway. My original plan was to get home from work and then spend an hour and a half getting my body into “wetting mode.” Then try to get a diaper leaking within a two hour time limit. Well, the first part, preparing for it was already out the window by the time I got home, but I decided to try anyway. If I didn’t make it, I was going to spend a minute on the perch for every minute extra over the two hour time limit it took get the diaper to leak.
I put my single diaper on at 7:40 PM. I did it exactly the way I always do when I wear only one diaper. I made sure it was nice and tight and snug all over – just as usual. No cheating. Then I hit the iced tea and the water – in serious amounts! Actually, I had already started on the iced tea as soon as I got home. After thirty minutes, I couldn’t believe that I still hadn’t wet one little bit. And at that point I started pushing, trying to make myself pee. As the time went on, I never stopped pushing and trying.
I don’t think I peed the first time till about the forty five minute point. But just once isn’t nearly enough. I was gulping down water in record amounts and constantly trying everything I could do to pee. It’s amazing how having that deadline can put you into a panic and make you do things you never thought you would. Not only did I not hold back, I was actively pushing and trying to do everything possible to make myself pee for the entire time.
Eventually, I started peeing more and more. And I kept watching the clock more and more, especially as the time limit grew shorter and shorter. By the hour and a half point my diaper was certainly very wet, but was still a long way from leaking. I was getting really worried then and pushed even harder. I also drank even more. And I did keep wetting more and more frequently. But since I was pushing constantly, I was wetting frequently but in small amounts. Still, overall, I was wetting a lot.
At ten minutes to go I was really afraid I wasn’t going to make it. I did manage to pee though quite a bit in the next few minutes. At five minutes to go I knew my diaper was getting close… but how could I do anything more to make it leak than what I was already doing? The panic was really hitting me then. So close!
Every single minute was like torture. I was trying so hard. My diaper was so close. Just before the deadline, I felt myself peeing a little bit again, but nothing. And my diaper was so saturated. I had failed!
With my water glass empty, I immediately headed down the steps to refill it again, and I felt myself peeing again as I went down. And then, at the bottom of the steps, I noticed something that I should have noticed earlier – the outside of my diaper at the leg opening felt a bit odd – possibly wet. I reached down and touched it. It was wet! Had I been leaking earlier and didn’t know it? I was possible, but I just didn’t know for sure. So for the record, I’m judged myself to be two minutes late. I continued into the kitchen, filled my water glass, and had to consume quite a bit of it, even though I didn’t want or need it anymore – because it was time to take my nightly pills. Ugh!
So that’s what happened there. I didn’t make it… but I did. You be the judge. Anyway, I confirmed two things for the story. One, it is possible to get a diaper leaking in two hours or less. And two, just having that time limit actually forced me to keep pushing and to not hold back one bit. So from that standpoint, what’s happening in the story – is possible. Hooray!
I had planned on going to bed after that and listening to my hypno recording again, but for some reason, I wasn’t the least bit tired. I changed out of my single “leaking” diaper and put four diapers on for bedtime – knowing that it was going to be a very wet night. Since I wasn’t tired, I went back to the computer because thinking about my hypnotic recording made me curious about some of the other files on the Warp My Mind site – where I got the files I have now.
Oh, and it was Tricia who asked what hypnosis files I’ve been listening to. A long time ago I purchased three files from Warp My Mind. All of them were done by Mind Master: Bladder Retraining, Baby Acceptance, and Baby Behaviors (Revised). I never listen to the first one. I think the second one is by far the most affective. But this time I’m trying to listen to the last one since it has some baby behaviors on it other than just wetting all the time. Unfortunately, it’s about a forty minute tape and there aren’t all that many behaviors.
Anyway, I downloaded a bunch of their free files that I got curious about while I was searching for files to affect baby behavior. I listened to three of them last night, only one of which I liked. I have more to go through tonight. But as they say – you get what you pay for and these were free.
My normal bedtime is around ten o’clock. But last night I didn’t turn the light off till after twelve thirty. And yes, I was wetting profusely all the time before that! And… I was wetting profusely all the time after that. In fact, I was wetting a little bit at a time almost constantly. But it was so easy I barely noticed I was doing it! And I slept! I’m fairly sure I was wetting myself in my sleep! No, I know that I was! I did pull myself out of sound sleep a number of times and noticed I was still wetting very frequently.
About three thirty in the morning, I started to get concerned about how wet my four diapers already were – and I was still peeing. I didn’t notice any leeks but I was really getting worried about it. I was still peeing so much it was almost ridiculous. So I decided to get up and change out of the four diapers into two more to finish the night. It’s a good thing I did because – I was leaking! Not around the leg-band or at the sides where I normally leak, but over the top at my waist – in several places. The rest of the diaper(s) were so wet that it was ridiculous. My t-shirt I was wearing on top was wet too. It’s amazing I didn’t feel it. Fortunately, my sheet was only a tiny bit wet – amazingly.
So I changed into two fresh diapers – and went back to sleep till five-thirty when I got up, posted the latest on The Bet, and started exercising – in my now very soaked two diapers.
Yes, I’m again wearing one of the pull up diapers at work because I was afraid I might have an accident, but fortunately, no problems (yet).
By the way, sorry, but there will be no pictures. I got the tripod out last night and all set up, then I went to grab the camera and discovered that my wife had taken it with her. I’m disappointed because I really wanted to show you one of the pairs of shoes I got – they’re really pretty.
Oh well, that’s the way it goes. And speaking of going, I’ve gone on way, way too long.
Think happy thoughts today everyone,
Karen
The Bet - Chapter 41 (Thursday – week 6 Part 1 of 8)
The Bet
by Karen Singer
Chapter 41 (Thursday – week 6 Part 1 of 8)
In her dreams, she lived in a fine new house – a mansion. And Sissy was right there to take care of it for her. Everything was kept beautifully. The house was in perfect order, and everything she needed personally was taken care of as well. Except that… Sissy had somehow become a robot – a mechanical creature incapable of feelings of any kind. He worked diligently and continuously without complaint. Every request was automatically carried out, just as a proper machine should do.
While he basically looked the same, every once in a while she actually caught sight of the small rivets that held him together – the most prominent ones hinging his jaw. The rivets served as a constant reminder to her of just what he was… and what he wasn’t.
Though he was perfect in every way as far as taking care of her, the one thing that she found that she wanted the most from him was to feel something, to express thoughts that weren’t mechanically generated. She wanted more and more to know that… he cared about her.
Over and over again, she tried to work with him, train him, teach him… and over and over again she failed. It just wasn’t possible. Teaching the mechanical Sissy to have feelings of any kind was simply impossible.
More and more she began to feel alone, abandoned. More and more she yearned for his affection... his love. And more and more the aching loss made itself known by the physical discomfort in the pit of her stomach.
The sound of her alarm clock brought her out of her dream state, out of sleep. Yet the feeling of depression and the feeling of discomfort in her stomach didn’t change one bit. She opened her eyes and reached out to turn off the alarm, and remembered that she was still at the height of her period. No wonder she felt bad. Hopefully, later today things would start to ease off.
She pulled herself out of bed and made a stop in the bathroom before heading to her kitchen. The coffee pot seemed like a beacon, calling her to it. Mechanically, she fixed the pot and set it brewing. She stood there, right in front of it the whole time it was working. Her eyes were closed the entire time as if she was asleep. She tried to think, but thoughts refused to come. All she was really aware of was the discomfort in her body from her period. She opened her eyes occasionally to check if the coffee was ready yet… but as they say, a watched pot never boils. It seemed like an eternity till she could finally pour herself a cup and take that first sip. The hot liquid seemed to burn all the way down to her stomach. And she loved it!
She took several more sips right where she was standing till she finally decided she could move again – and then she headed directly into her living room where she collapsed onto her favorite chair to finish her coffee. A few sips later, she finally took a deep breath, trying to wake herself up more, trying to snap out of her funk and come back to life again. It worked, but not quite the way she would have liked.
Her first new thoughts were of sitting at the table last night, trying to talk to Sissy. And of how his reply had stung. She never once thought about how rude he had been. She never once reminded herself that nothing he said or thought mattered in the least. She never once even thought anything at all about the bet. All she remembered was that he thought she didn’t care about him, and how cold he had been towards her. And it hurt.
A few sips of coffee later, her mind slowly began to function a bit more. How could he think that she didn’t care? Wasn’t everything she did all for him? Wasn’t everything designed to fulfill his wildest fantasies – which were wild, to say the least! So how could he possibly think that she didn’t care?
An image of her beating him severely a few nights ago flashed through her brain. An image of her making him spend an inordinate amount of time on the perch in his corner came to mind. An image of him drinking baby bottle after baby bottle in an attempt to avoid getting punished for not leaking came to mind. An image of him in his highchair with nothing to eat but baby food came to mind. An image… Ugh! There were all too many of them… and none of them were good! Maybe she could see why he thought the way he did. But… all of it was for him. And all of it was designed so that she could win the bet… and ultimately keep – him.
Couldn’t he see that? Of course not! Despite all the male things she had taken away from him, what she could probably never remove was his pig-headed way of thinking. Male thinking. Men! They just never had a clue!
With her brain functioning marginally better now, she drained the last of her coffee and headed for the shower. It was another day. And she had absolutely no idea what she was going to do about Sissy.
Chad stared mindlessly at his reflection in the mirror. He had hurt her last night with his words. He had never meant to do that, they had just kind of slipped out. But once words were said, they could never really be recalled. She had every right to be mad at him. But nothing she could ever do to him could make him feel worse than he did right now about it. He had tried to tell her he was sorry, but she didn’t want to hear it… rightfully so. He needed a way to fix things with her. But he didn’t have a clue as to how.
Disgusted with himself, he grabbed his curling iron and went to work on his hair. He was noticing now that it seemed to be a bit longer than it was just a few weeks ago. When he wrapped it around the curling iron, it not only went around further, it came out in tighter curls – that he had to work to straighten more with his brush.
Once his hair was done, he went through his usual makeup routine. It was becoming so familiar that he could practically do it in his sleep. And to think that he used to have so much trouble with just putting on his mascara! How stupid! It really wasn’t all that hard at all! He just prayed he wouldn’t have to worry about fixing his face any other way than what he was doing right now though because he really wouldn’t have a clue as to how!
Yesterday he had worn his colorful dress. Today, he reached for a simple skirt and blouse. There was no question about wearing any kind of pants, they were pretty much out of the question. Since he hadn’t worn them yet, he cleaned his ears and inserted the new pink earrings – the good ones. He loved how they sparkled in the mirror as he turned his head back and forth. There was something about adding earrings to his outfit that just seemed to make him look more like a woman than ever – a situation that actually pleased him.
Since he was wearing the pink earrings, he went with all his old pink jewelry again. Well, it all did match – although the earrings were just a shade darker in color than the rest of it.
Checking his entire image in the mirror one more time, he declared himself ready – physically. Mentally, he had no idea how he was going to face Mel again. And how mad was she probably going to be today? And what was she going to put him through because of it? He worried a lot about that. But mostly, he just wanted to take back what he had said to her last night… or maybe at least the way he had said it, because it wasn’t exactly nice. He had hurt her with his words. And in doing so, he was the one who was suffering. But of course, she’d never understand that. Women!
Mel had fixed his baby cereal breakfast because she didn’t know what else to do. And when his knock came at her door, she still wasn’t prepared to face him. But she had to face him. Their time apart had come to an end. Bracing herself, she went to the door and opened it.
“Good mowning, Mistwess,” he said in his sissy voice as he dropped his usual curtsey for her.
Something inside of her still thrilled to see him do that, but today it was a muted thrill. “Good morning, Sissy,” she replied as she backed out of the way to let him in. She waited till he set his purse and diaper bag down under her table by the door, then she took his bag of empty baby bottles from him. She would never bother to check to see if the right number was there. Not today at least. She gave him the once over. “The pink earrings today,” she noted out loud. “They really are pretty.”
“Thank you, Mistress,” he replied.
She recognized that they were both just going through the usual dance – probably because neither of them knew what else to do. Continuing the situation, she sent him to climb up into his highchair. She followed him in and put the tray in place for him, then tied his bib around his neck. Should she really be doing this? But what else was there? The moment the bib was in place, she stood back to look at him. Was he smiling at her more than usual this morning? She couldn’t figure out why – if he was.
She picked up the bowl of baby cereal with the tiny baby spoon already in it and carried it to him. She set it down on the tray. Was he smiling at her again? Why? She grabbed another baby bottle full of juice and brought that to him as well. Then she went back to grab her coffee and stand leaning against the counter to watch him – just as she usually did. But somehow, she wasn’t looking forward to watching him make a fool of himself this morning.
Chad finally picked up the tiny spoon in his left fist like he was supposed to. He started to bring it toward the bowl of lousy baby cereal… and he stopped. He had to do something! He had to! He carefully set the spoon down on the tray and looked directly up at her. “Mistress,” he began in his sissy voice. “I just wanted to say how sorry I am again for what I said last night. I didn’t really mean it! I didn’t mean to hurt you at all. I didn’t want to do that… it just happened.” He looked down at the cereal in front of him. “I used to have the same problem with my wife… I mean my ex wife. I sometimes say things I don’t really mean.” He looked back up at her again, he felt so bad! “I just wanted you to know how really sorry I am about that!”
Mel could see how emotional he seemed to be about it. She had no doubt at all that he really meant every word. But all that was secondary to her own need to patch things up with him. She barely realized she was heading toward him till she pulled one of the chairs out and sat down at the table near him.
Apologizing was never easy, but she knew that she had to apologize for some of the things she had done to him. “I… I’ve been reckless,” she said before she even knew what she was going to say. “I’ve done things to you and hurt you in ways that… well, I can only imagine how they made you feel. I just thought that… everything I was doing was things you would actually love – deep down somewhere. And everything I was doing has been aimed at one thing and one thing only – so I can win this bet.” She looked down at the table. “And I’m afraid I still feel that way… that I have to win this bet, because…” But she couldn’t really put into words why she needed to win so badly – especially not to him. “Because…” She finally apologetically shrugged her shoulders. “Because I have to!”
Chad heard her, but he didn’t really understand why she felt she should have to apologize to him. “But…” He searched for the right words to say. “But I’m the one who hurt you! I should have never said what I did last night! That was so wrong. It’s just that… just that…” But he didn’t know why he had done it. “Maybe I was just too tired last night,” he finally replied. “Yesterday was a particularly bad day. And I was hungry too.” He tried to smile. “Baby food doesn’t go very far. I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself. I know I shouldn’t do that. It’s not right! I’m not supposed to feel that way. So… I’m sorry,” he said again.
Mel leaned back in her seat. He had been tired and upset. She had been out of sorts too. Together, everything combined to make things worse for both of them. “So what do we do about it?” she finally asked. “I guess that leads me back to my original question from last night. How do you feel about all the things I’ve been making you do? And…” She leaned forward, trying to find the right way to ask this question again. “And, how do you feel about me? Do you at least know that, despite everything I make you do, I do care for you?”
It was hard to look her in the eye and say it. “Yes, I know that you care. It’s just that sometimes… when there’s so much other stuff going on… most of which is bad or disturbing… I guess it’s just hard to realize or remember that.”
She understood – all too well. At least he was aware, on some level, that she cared. “So, where do we go from here?” She asked again. “What do we have to change?”
He shook his head, then he thought some more and shook his head again. “I don’t really know. I guess… nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“As much as I hate to say it,” he grinned, “and I really do hate to say this… But despite all the stuff you make me do, and despite all the problems it’s causing – and will continue to cause, probably for the rest of my life – and despite all the pain – which I hate – you really are making me live what can only be described as a dream. You’re forcing me to do things I never would have been able to do before. The only problem is that all those things are getting harder and harder. But at the same time, I remember that the things that seem nothing to me now, were just as hard when we first started. So, because of you, I’m getting to do things I never imagined I’d be doing in real life – and all too many things I never imagined… period! So I guess my answer has to be, don’t change anything, because at least I know how things are supposed to work now. And if we change things, then I’ll probably be lost.”
Mel thought about his answer. It wasn’t the answer she was expecting to hear – this morning. It had been mostly the answer she had wanted to hear last night. But now, after being so upset about everything, it was a very unexpected answer. “So we keep on exactly as we have been, or at least as my whims dictate… no matter what it’s going to do to you?”
Chad closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again. “Yes. Just as we have been.” Then he thought to add something. “But, maybe you can not pun…”
Mel cut him off quickly. “If we’re going to go on like before, then you don’t get any say as to what I do and what I don’t do!” She put a wicked smile on her face. “So, it’s full steam ahead?”
Chad paused then nodded, “Full steam ahead.” And he prayed that he would survive it.
Mel felt so much better all of a sudden. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She leaned back in her chair again. “So, you said that yesterday was a bad day? Tell me about it.”
Chad picked up his spoon again and started eating. Then he told her in detail how Robin was now starting to get on his case about using his girly voice all the time and how all the women were now teasing him about his upcoming date with Derek. Mel listened raptly to all of it, actually enjoying every word of it. She particularly got a kick when she found out that Robin had seen the picture of him from the poker game and what she had done with it!
It was one of those moments when neither of them wanted the outside world to intrude. Consequently, neither of them realized that his breakfast was taking so long that he was going to be late getting to work.
by Karen Singer
Chapter 41 (Thursday – week 6 Part 1 of 8)
In her dreams, she lived in a fine new house – a mansion. And Sissy was right there to take care of it for her. Everything was kept beautifully. The house was in perfect order, and everything she needed personally was taken care of as well. Except that… Sissy had somehow become a robot – a mechanical creature incapable of feelings of any kind. He worked diligently and continuously without complaint. Every request was automatically carried out, just as a proper machine should do.
While he basically looked the same, every once in a while she actually caught sight of the small rivets that held him together – the most prominent ones hinging his jaw. The rivets served as a constant reminder to her of just what he was… and what he wasn’t.
Though he was perfect in every way as far as taking care of her, the one thing that she found that she wanted the most from him was to feel something, to express thoughts that weren’t mechanically generated. She wanted more and more to know that… he cared about her.
Over and over again, she tried to work with him, train him, teach him… and over and over again she failed. It just wasn’t possible. Teaching the mechanical Sissy to have feelings of any kind was simply impossible.
More and more she began to feel alone, abandoned. More and more she yearned for his affection... his love. And more and more the aching loss made itself known by the physical discomfort in the pit of her stomach.
The sound of her alarm clock brought her out of her dream state, out of sleep. Yet the feeling of depression and the feeling of discomfort in her stomach didn’t change one bit. She opened her eyes and reached out to turn off the alarm, and remembered that she was still at the height of her period. No wonder she felt bad. Hopefully, later today things would start to ease off.
She pulled herself out of bed and made a stop in the bathroom before heading to her kitchen. The coffee pot seemed like a beacon, calling her to it. Mechanically, she fixed the pot and set it brewing. She stood there, right in front of it the whole time it was working. Her eyes were closed the entire time as if she was asleep. She tried to think, but thoughts refused to come. All she was really aware of was the discomfort in her body from her period. She opened her eyes occasionally to check if the coffee was ready yet… but as they say, a watched pot never boils. It seemed like an eternity till she could finally pour herself a cup and take that first sip. The hot liquid seemed to burn all the way down to her stomach. And she loved it!
She took several more sips right where she was standing till she finally decided she could move again – and then she headed directly into her living room where she collapsed onto her favorite chair to finish her coffee. A few sips later, she finally took a deep breath, trying to wake herself up more, trying to snap out of her funk and come back to life again. It worked, but not quite the way she would have liked.
Her first new thoughts were of sitting at the table last night, trying to talk to Sissy. And of how his reply had stung. She never once thought about how rude he had been. She never once reminded herself that nothing he said or thought mattered in the least. She never once even thought anything at all about the bet. All she remembered was that he thought she didn’t care about him, and how cold he had been towards her. And it hurt.
A few sips of coffee later, her mind slowly began to function a bit more. How could he think that she didn’t care? Wasn’t everything she did all for him? Wasn’t everything designed to fulfill his wildest fantasies – which were wild, to say the least! So how could he possibly think that she didn’t care?
An image of her beating him severely a few nights ago flashed through her brain. An image of her making him spend an inordinate amount of time on the perch in his corner came to mind. An image of him drinking baby bottle after baby bottle in an attempt to avoid getting punished for not leaking came to mind. An image of him in his highchair with nothing to eat but baby food came to mind. An image… Ugh! There were all too many of them… and none of them were good! Maybe she could see why he thought the way he did. But… all of it was for him. And all of it was designed so that she could win the bet… and ultimately keep – him.
Couldn’t he see that? Of course not! Despite all the male things she had taken away from him, what she could probably never remove was his pig-headed way of thinking. Male thinking. Men! They just never had a clue!
With her brain functioning marginally better now, she drained the last of her coffee and headed for the shower. It was another day. And she had absolutely no idea what she was going to do about Sissy.
Chad stared mindlessly at his reflection in the mirror. He had hurt her last night with his words. He had never meant to do that, they had just kind of slipped out. But once words were said, they could never really be recalled. She had every right to be mad at him. But nothing she could ever do to him could make him feel worse than he did right now about it. He had tried to tell her he was sorry, but she didn’t want to hear it… rightfully so. He needed a way to fix things with her. But he didn’t have a clue as to how.
Disgusted with himself, he grabbed his curling iron and went to work on his hair. He was noticing now that it seemed to be a bit longer than it was just a few weeks ago. When he wrapped it around the curling iron, it not only went around further, it came out in tighter curls – that he had to work to straighten more with his brush.
Once his hair was done, he went through his usual makeup routine. It was becoming so familiar that he could practically do it in his sleep. And to think that he used to have so much trouble with just putting on his mascara! How stupid! It really wasn’t all that hard at all! He just prayed he wouldn’t have to worry about fixing his face any other way than what he was doing right now though because he really wouldn’t have a clue as to how!
Yesterday he had worn his colorful dress. Today, he reached for a simple skirt and blouse. There was no question about wearing any kind of pants, they were pretty much out of the question. Since he hadn’t worn them yet, he cleaned his ears and inserted the new pink earrings – the good ones. He loved how they sparkled in the mirror as he turned his head back and forth. There was something about adding earrings to his outfit that just seemed to make him look more like a woman than ever – a situation that actually pleased him.
Since he was wearing the pink earrings, he went with all his old pink jewelry again. Well, it all did match – although the earrings were just a shade darker in color than the rest of it.
Checking his entire image in the mirror one more time, he declared himself ready – physically. Mentally, he had no idea how he was going to face Mel again. And how mad was she probably going to be today? And what was she going to put him through because of it? He worried a lot about that. But mostly, he just wanted to take back what he had said to her last night… or maybe at least the way he had said it, because it wasn’t exactly nice. He had hurt her with his words. And in doing so, he was the one who was suffering. But of course, she’d never understand that. Women!
Mel had fixed his baby cereal breakfast because she didn’t know what else to do. And when his knock came at her door, she still wasn’t prepared to face him. But she had to face him. Their time apart had come to an end. Bracing herself, she went to the door and opened it.
“Good mowning, Mistwess,” he said in his sissy voice as he dropped his usual curtsey for her.
Something inside of her still thrilled to see him do that, but today it was a muted thrill. “Good morning, Sissy,” she replied as she backed out of the way to let him in. She waited till he set his purse and diaper bag down under her table by the door, then she took his bag of empty baby bottles from him. She would never bother to check to see if the right number was there. Not today at least. She gave him the once over. “The pink earrings today,” she noted out loud. “They really are pretty.”
“Thank you, Mistress,” he replied.
She recognized that they were both just going through the usual dance – probably because neither of them knew what else to do. Continuing the situation, she sent him to climb up into his highchair. She followed him in and put the tray in place for him, then tied his bib around his neck. Should she really be doing this? But what else was there? The moment the bib was in place, she stood back to look at him. Was he smiling at her more than usual this morning? She couldn’t figure out why – if he was.
She picked up the bowl of baby cereal with the tiny baby spoon already in it and carried it to him. She set it down on the tray. Was he smiling at her again? Why? She grabbed another baby bottle full of juice and brought that to him as well. Then she went back to grab her coffee and stand leaning against the counter to watch him – just as she usually did. But somehow, she wasn’t looking forward to watching him make a fool of himself this morning.
Chad finally picked up the tiny spoon in his left fist like he was supposed to. He started to bring it toward the bowl of lousy baby cereal… and he stopped. He had to do something! He had to! He carefully set the spoon down on the tray and looked directly up at her. “Mistress,” he began in his sissy voice. “I just wanted to say how sorry I am again for what I said last night. I didn’t really mean it! I didn’t mean to hurt you at all. I didn’t want to do that… it just happened.” He looked down at the cereal in front of him. “I used to have the same problem with my wife… I mean my ex wife. I sometimes say things I don’t really mean.” He looked back up at her again, he felt so bad! “I just wanted you to know how really sorry I am about that!”
Mel could see how emotional he seemed to be about it. She had no doubt at all that he really meant every word. But all that was secondary to her own need to patch things up with him. She barely realized she was heading toward him till she pulled one of the chairs out and sat down at the table near him.
Apologizing was never easy, but she knew that she had to apologize for some of the things she had done to him. “I… I’ve been reckless,” she said before she even knew what she was going to say. “I’ve done things to you and hurt you in ways that… well, I can only imagine how they made you feel. I just thought that… everything I was doing was things you would actually love – deep down somewhere. And everything I was doing has been aimed at one thing and one thing only – so I can win this bet.” She looked down at the table. “And I’m afraid I still feel that way… that I have to win this bet, because…” But she couldn’t really put into words why she needed to win so badly – especially not to him. “Because…” She finally apologetically shrugged her shoulders. “Because I have to!”
Chad heard her, but he didn’t really understand why she felt she should have to apologize to him. “But…” He searched for the right words to say. “But I’m the one who hurt you! I should have never said what I did last night! That was so wrong. It’s just that… just that…” But he didn’t know why he had done it. “Maybe I was just too tired last night,” he finally replied. “Yesterday was a particularly bad day. And I was hungry too.” He tried to smile. “Baby food doesn’t go very far. I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself. I know I shouldn’t do that. It’s not right! I’m not supposed to feel that way. So… I’m sorry,” he said again.
Mel leaned back in her seat. He had been tired and upset. She had been out of sorts too. Together, everything combined to make things worse for both of them. “So what do we do about it?” she finally asked. “I guess that leads me back to my original question from last night. How do you feel about all the things I’ve been making you do? And…” She leaned forward, trying to find the right way to ask this question again. “And, how do you feel about me? Do you at least know that, despite everything I make you do, I do care for you?”
It was hard to look her in the eye and say it. “Yes, I know that you care. It’s just that sometimes… when there’s so much other stuff going on… most of which is bad or disturbing… I guess it’s just hard to realize or remember that.”
She understood – all too well. At least he was aware, on some level, that she cared. “So, where do we go from here?” She asked again. “What do we have to change?”
He shook his head, then he thought some more and shook his head again. “I don’t really know. I guess… nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“As much as I hate to say it,” he grinned, “and I really do hate to say this… But despite all the stuff you make me do, and despite all the problems it’s causing – and will continue to cause, probably for the rest of my life – and despite all the pain – which I hate – you really are making me live what can only be described as a dream. You’re forcing me to do things I never would have been able to do before. The only problem is that all those things are getting harder and harder. But at the same time, I remember that the things that seem nothing to me now, were just as hard when we first started. So, because of you, I’m getting to do things I never imagined I’d be doing in real life – and all too many things I never imagined… period! So I guess my answer has to be, don’t change anything, because at least I know how things are supposed to work now. And if we change things, then I’ll probably be lost.”
Mel thought about his answer. It wasn’t the answer she was expecting to hear – this morning. It had been mostly the answer she had wanted to hear last night. But now, after being so upset about everything, it was a very unexpected answer. “So we keep on exactly as we have been, or at least as my whims dictate… no matter what it’s going to do to you?”
Chad closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again. “Yes. Just as we have been.” Then he thought to add something. “But, maybe you can not pun…”
Mel cut him off quickly. “If we’re going to go on like before, then you don’t get any say as to what I do and what I don’t do!” She put a wicked smile on her face. “So, it’s full steam ahead?”
Chad paused then nodded, “Full steam ahead.” And he prayed that he would survive it.
Mel felt so much better all of a sudden. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She leaned back in her chair again. “So, you said that yesterday was a bad day? Tell me about it.”
Chad picked up his spoon again and started eating. Then he told her in detail how Robin was now starting to get on his case about using his girly voice all the time and how all the women were now teasing him about his upcoming date with Derek. Mel listened raptly to all of it, actually enjoying every word of it. She particularly got a kick when she found out that Robin had seen the picture of him from the poker game and what she had done with it!
It was one of those moments when neither of them wanted the outside world to intrude. Consequently, neither of them realized that his breakfast was taking so long that he was going to be late getting to work.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Here We Go (Again)
Hello sports fans! It was an easy weekend for me. Easily the most laid-back weekend I’ve had in a very long time. I had a few chores I had to get done – the timing of which prevented me from doing any outside work and trying to kill myself in the heat. Fortunately, we haven’t had any rain in some time now so our grass has gone dormant and doesn’t need to be cut. But you don’t want to hear about things like that. Sorry.
Anyway… I wound up seeing very little of my granddaughter and my stepson all weekend. In fact, they were both gone by lunchtime on Sunday and I went back to the pull up style diapers which I was careful to change fairly frequently in case my stepson came home (which he didn’t till 1:30 AM this morning).
Since I was worried about him returning, I didn’t do anything more except spend a few hours working on The Bet – which I really needed to do since I’m now so far behind on it. It’s starting to take me so long to write these chapters that I’m getting worried about everyone catching up to me in the story. No real worry yet, but I have to keep at it to stay ahead of you all. You’re a lot closer to where I am in the story than I’d like. While you all will be starting on Thursday in the story tomorrow morning, I’ve just started on the next Sunday. Not that far ahead! The problem isn’t not knowing what to write, the problem is that I’ve been so monstrously busy that I haven’t had the opportunity to write. But I’m still trying.
Last night I went back to wearing my usual three diapers to bed again – and I enjoyed it thoroughly. And again I managed to listen to my hypno recording and I really got into it. But – for some reason I didn’t wet as easily all night long. I also didn’t sleep all that well. I tossed and turned all night long. Maybe I had too long of a nap yesterday afternoon.
My normal night wetting (when I’m not diapered) usually starts about two AM when I have to get up to go to the bathroom. Then again at Four, then more and more often till I get up between Five-thirty and Six. Actually, very often it’s all the wetting and going to the bathroom that gets me up. I can’t take it anymore. When I’m wearing diapers to bed – and things are working right – I find myself peeing just a little bit at a time all night long. It’s far less disturbing than huge amounts at one time where I’m more worried about leaking. But last night, even though I had listened to my tape and had really gotten into it again, I had a lot of trouble. My wetting schedule seemed to be exactly like my non-diapered bathroom wetting. Huge amounts that got more and more frequent as it got closer and closer to morning. Hopefully, tonight will go better. If at first you don’t succeed…
So, for tonight, I have this “plan” in mind. Remember I said I had built a lousy version of a perch? Well, tonight I’m going to try the one diaper thing with two hours to make it leak. For every minute over that two hours, I’m going to attempt to spend one minute on the perch. I do have a time limit though of thirty minutes – and I’ll probably trim that down to twenty minutes. We’ll see. Hopefully I can manage to get the diaper leaking on time so it won’t be an issue. Then I can just experiment with the perch a bit.
I also need to take some pictures. I don’t know if I’ll get to them tonight or tomorrow. I’ll just have to see.
So that’s about it. Nothing interesting. Sorry about that. But putting it down like this actually helps me. Oh, and it is my blog.
Please do at least one thing for yourself that makes you happy today,
Karen
Anyway… I wound up seeing very little of my granddaughter and my stepson all weekend. In fact, they were both gone by lunchtime on Sunday and I went back to the pull up style diapers which I was careful to change fairly frequently in case my stepson came home (which he didn’t till 1:30 AM this morning).
Since I was worried about him returning, I didn’t do anything more except spend a few hours working on The Bet – which I really needed to do since I’m now so far behind on it. It’s starting to take me so long to write these chapters that I’m getting worried about everyone catching up to me in the story. No real worry yet, but I have to keep at it to stay ahead of you all. You’re a lot closer to where I am in the story than I’d like. While you all will be starting on Thursday in the story tomorrow morning, I’ve just started on the next Sunday. Not that far ahead! The problem isn’t not knowing what to write, the problem is that I’ve been so monstrously busy that I haven’t had the opportunity to write. But I’m still trying.
Last night I went back to wearing my usual three diapers to bed again – and I enjoyed it thoroughly. And again I managed to listen to my hypno recording and I really got into it. But – for some reason I didn’t wet as easily all night long. I also didn’t sleep all that well. I tossed and turned all night long. Maybe I had too long of a nap yesterday afternoon.
My normal night wetting (when I’m not diapered) usually starts about two AM when I have to get up to go to the bathroom. Then again at Four, then more and more often till I get up between Five-thirty and Six. Actually, very often it’s all the wetting and going to the bathroom that gets me up. I can’t take it anymore. When I’m wearing diapers to bed – and things are working right – I find myself peeing just a little bit at a time all night long. It’s far less disturbing than huge amounts at one time where I’m more worried about leaking. But last night, even though I had listened to my tape and had really gotten into it again, I had a lot of trouble. My wetting schedule seemed to be exactly like my non-diapered bathroom wetting. Huge amounts that got more and more frequent as it got closer and closer to morning. Hopefully, tonight will go better. If at first you don’t succeed…
So, for tonight, I have this “plan” in mind. Remember I said I had built a lousy version of a perch? Well, tonight I’m going to try the one diaper thing with two hours to make it leak. For every minute over that two hours, I’m going to attempt to spend one minute on the perch. I do have a time limit though of thirty minutes – and I’ll probably trim that down to twenty minutes. We’ll see. Hopefully I can manage to get the diaper leaking on time so it won’t be an issue. Then I can just experiment with the perch a bit.
I also need to take some pictures. I don’t know if I’ll get to them tonight or tomorrow. I’ll just have to see.
So that’s about it. Nothing interesting. Sorry about that. But putting it down like this actually helps me. Oh, and it is my blog.
Please do at least one thing for yourself that makes you happy today,
Karen
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Quiet weekend
Not much new to report, I guess. As I’m writing this, it’s currently Sunday morning. I have one of my granddaughters staying the night so things are mostly calm and quiet– for now – she’s still asleep. When she’s awake she’s non-stop energy.
Friday evening after work, I looked through what little building materials I had left and kind of constructed a lousy version of my perch. It doesn’t look very good, but it works. Too well. Unfortunately, I think I got the height a bit too high, but… oh well. I only tried it for a few moments to see if it would work like I thought it would, and I’m sorry to say that it does – in every way.
I thought I was making the distance between the two sides just perfect. I was trying to allow only a very little bit of wiggle room for the feet to separate, but in the end, after trying it with two pairs of shoes, the distance turned out to be closer than I thought. My feet are definitely held tightly together with no way to move them apart at all. In fact, once on it, I can’t move my feet any direction other than straight up to get off of the thing.
And yes, it definitely keeps me on my toes. With one pair of heels, the strappy ones, it’s like being in six inch heels – at least! The other pair of heels I bought have a very short rounded toe and I feel like I’m standing right on the tip of my toes. Ballet anyone?
And just as I predicted, once on the thing, my body automatically leans forward, pressing me into the corner. I tried moving it away from the wall and yes, I can stand on it that way too, but it takes a bit more work to compensate for the body trying to lean forward.
I can easily see how someone standing on it might feel like they are on display in such a position. A simple strap around the feet or ankles and the person on it is going – nowhere! They would be forced to stand right where they are, in a VERY uncomfortable and tiring position.
So all in all, I guess it’s the perfect corner torture accessory for confining someone in an out of the way corner somewhere… or a good way to keep someone in one place – possibly on display. Use your imagination.
Sorry I have no pictures yet. Pictures are on my list for next week when I’m alone a bit more. Also, I do still plan to try the perch out a bit more to “experience” it. So far, everything I’ve written about it seems to be completely accurate. Go figure!
As to my diapers… I wore one most of yesterday, since my granddaughter didn’t get here till late afternoon. I took it off just before she came, not because I was leaking, but because I realized that I smelled a bit! Ugh! Not from anything messy. I think it was mostly just me and the heat… and a bit of pee of course.
I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the recording when I went to bed last night. I should have. I meant to. Tonight I will for sure – I hope. Since my granddaughter will be gone by then and I seriously doubt I’ll be seeing my stepson who lives with me any more tonight after that, I will go back to my diapers at night again. I can’t tell you how much I prefer wetting them than getting up over and over again every night to go to the bathroom. And yes, I am on medicine for my prostate, but I still get up to pee a lot. The diapers are definitely more comfortable and convenient. Plus… I simply love it! Enough said.
Well, more tomorrow – or maybe Tuesday.
Have a good day everyone, and just on an impulse, try to kiss someone today.
Karen
Friday evening after work, I looked through what little building materials I had left and kind of constructed a lousy version of my perch. It doesn’t look very good, but it works. Too well. Unfortunately, I think I got the height a bit too high, but… oh well. I only tried it for a few moments to see if it would work like I thought it would, and I’m sorry to say that it does – in every way.
I thought I was making the distance between the two sides just perfect. I was trying to allow only a very little bit of wiggle room for the feet to separate, but in the end, after trying it with two pairs of shoes, the distance turned out to be closer than I thought. My feet are definitely held tightly together with no way to move them apart at all. In fact, once on it, I can’t move my feet any direction other than straight up to get off of the thing.
And yes, it definitely keeps me on my toes. With one pair of heels, the strappy ones, it’s like being in six inch heels – at least! The other pair of heels I bought have a very short rounded toe and I feel like I’m standing right on the tip of my toes. Ballet anyone?
And just as I predicted, once on the thing, my body automatically leans forward, pressing me into the corner. I tried moving it away from the wall and yes, I can stand on it that way too, but it takes a bit more work to compensate for the body trying to lean forward.
I can easily see how someone standing on it might feel like they are on display in such a position. A simple strap around the feet or ankles and the person on it is going – nowhere! They would be forced to stand right where they are, in a VERY uncomfortable and tiring position.
So all in all, I guess it’s the perfect corner torture accessory for confining someone in an out of the way corner somewhere… or a good way to keep someone in one place – possibly on display. Use your imagination.
Sorry I have no pictures yet. Pictures are on my list for next week when I’m alone a bit more. Also, I do still plan to try the perch out a bit more to “experience” it. So far, everything I’ve written about it seems to be completely accurate. Go figure!
As to my diapers… I wore one most of yesterday, since my granddaughter didn’t get here till late afternoon. I took it off just before she came, not because I was leaking, but because I realized that I smelled a bit! Ugh! Not from anything messy. I think it was mostly just me and the heat… and a bit of pee of course.
I wasn’t in the mood to listen to the recording when I went to bed last night. I should have. I meant to. Tonight I will for sure – I hope. Since my granddaughter will be gone by then and I seriously doubt I’ll be seeing my stepson who lives with me any more tonight after that, I will go back to my diapers at night again. I can’t tell you how much I prefer wetting them than getting up over and over again every night to go to the bathroom. And yes, I am on medicine for my prostate, but I still get up to pee a lot. The diapers are definitely more comfortable and convenient. Plus… I simply love it! Enough said.
Well, more tomorrow – or maybe Tuesday.
Have a good day everyone, and just on an impulse, try to kiss someone today.
Karen
Friday, August 5, 2011
Crinkle Butt
Last night after work, I went home and just put on my skirt with a t-shirt and the new three inch pumps I had. I was trying to be comfortable, even though the pumps are a bit too tight and hurt some. They did get better later in the evening though. I guess they stretched out a bit. I hope they stretch more!
I spent most of the evening doing some much needed laundry and watching a show on TV.
At bedtime I again put on my three diapers. I got into bed and turned off the light and listened to the baby behavior hypno file again. I had a hard time getting everything just right, but eventually things got better and I got into it. There is this annoying background hum in the file that I found very annoying at first and the volume wasn’t just right for some reason. But later on, I forgot about the hum and the volume seemed perfect and I did get into it. So nice! So relaxing!
Yes, my thumb made it’s way to my mouth again – sooner than before and I was really sucking on it like never before. I also found myself doing something I’ve never done before – I was rubbing the front of my diaper constantly for at least the last ten minutes of the file. Something about it was really turning me on and I couldn’t help myself. Of course, since I pull my penis back between my legs when I diaper myself, plus all those layers of thick diapers, there was no way I could get very much pleasure. But I did get some and I enjoyed it thoroughly Fun!
All night long, I found that I was peeing before I even knew I had to – most of the time anyway. Including one time when I rolled over in my sleep and suddenly realized I was absolutely gushing – with no warning at all. So nice!
As usual, when I got up this morning, my diapers weighed a ton. My routine is to go up to my office, check the internet for five minutes, then start exercising. Let me tell you, exercising with thick mega-heavy diapers makes everything much more difficult! But I persevered. I was a lot more tired than usual, but I got through it. Amazingly.
As part of my exercise routine, I usually spend about twenty five minutes walking on the treadmill every day. Very often I get hit with the urge to pee before I get finished. This morning, the urge hit me again… sort of. I realized I had a very slight urge that I was going to pee. No problem – I kept walking. But nothing happened and eventually I forgot about it completely. I forgot about it that is, until I suddenly realized that I had just finished peeing. I hadn’t realized I was doing it!
One other note about exercising in very thick diapers – the noise. Now I’ve done this before – many times, but for the last two days I’ve been amazed at how noisy my diapers seem to be as I move. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I pray that my step-son doesn’t wake up and get close enough to me to hear it!
This morning I packed kind of an emergency kit for work that is now in my car – clean pants and several pull-up style diapers. Yes, I’m again wearing a pull-up diaper under my regular underwear at work – mostly because I was again worried that I might have an accident. So far – no worries. I did a bit of experimenting last night and I was amazed at how much I was able to pee into one of these things last night before it leaked. So I feel a bit more confident about it than yesterday. Still, it never hurts to be careful.
What kind of things am I considering next? Um….
I’m considering trying to build myself a perch – just to try it out and see what it’s really like. I have confirmation that the thing really works like I thought it would, but experiencing it is something else.
And then… I’m also considering trying out my idea of getting a diaper to leak in the two hour time limit. But there are problems there. First of all, other than the fact that I’d really like to see if I can do it, I have nothing to give me an incentive to try harder if I’m not making it. No consequences. If I can’t do it the first day, then I’d probably like to try it again the next, but without the incentive of the consequence, why should I bother to push myself harder? And I don’t know that I trust myself to punish myself very hard at all. That’s the problem with being alone in this.
Anyway, my house will probably be filled with granddaughters all weekend. I’m still going to try to wear the pull-up style diapers under my clothes all weekend – and will probably try using them too. I’ll have to let you know how it goes.
Do something fun today,
Karen
I spent most of the evening doing some much needed laundry and watching a show on TV.
At bedtime I again put on my three diapers. I got into bed and turned off the light and listened to the baby behavior hypno file again. I had a hard time getting everything just right, but eventually things got better and I got into it. There is this annoying background hum in the file that I found very annoying at first and the volume wasn’t just right for some reason. But later on, I forgot about the hum and the volume seemed perfect and I did get into it. So nice! So relaxing!
Yes, my thumb made it’s way to my mouth again – sooner than before and I was really sucking on it like never before. I also found myself doing something I’ve never done before – I was rubbing the front of my diaper constantly for at least the last ten minutes of the file. Something about it was really turning me on and I couldn’t help myself. Of course, since I pull my penis back between my legs when I diaper myself, plus all those layers of thick diapers, there was no way I could get very much pleasure. But I did get some and I enjoyed it thoroughly Fun!
All night long, I found that I was peeing before I even knew I had to – most of the time anyway. Including one time when I rolled over in my sleep and suddenly realized I was absolutely gushing – with no warning at all. So nice!
As usual, when I got up this morning, my diapers weighed a ton. My routine is to go up to my office, check the internet for five minutes, then start exercising. Let me tell you, exercising with thick mega-heavy diapers makes everything much more difficult! But I persevered. I was a lot more tired than usual, but I got through it. Amazingly.
As part of my exercise routine, I usually spend about twenty five minutes walking on the treadmill every day. Very often I get hit with the urge to pee before I get finished. This morning, the urge hit me again… sort of. I realized I had a very slight urge that I was going to pee. No problem – I kept walking. But nothing happened and eventually I forgot about it completely. I forgot about it that is, until I suddenly realized that I had just finished peeing. I hadn’t realized I was doing it!
One other note about exercising in very thick diapers – the noise. Now I’ve done this before – many times, but for the last two days I’ve been amazed at how noisy my diapers seem to be as I move. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. I pray that my step-son doesn’t wake up and get close enough to me to hear it!
This morning I packed kind of an emergency kit for work that is now in my car – clean pants and several pull-up style diapers. Yes, I’m again wearing a pull-up diaper under my regular underwear at work – mostly because I was again worried that I might have an accident. So far – no worries. I did a bit of experimenting last night and I was amazed at how much I was able to pee into one of these things last night before it leaked. So I feel a bit more confident about it than yesterday. Still, it never hurts to be careful.
What kind of things am I considering next? Um….
I’m considering trying to build myself a perch – just to try it out and see what it’s really like. I have confirmation that the thing really works like I thought it would, but experiencing it is something else.
And then… I’m also considering trying out my idea of getting a diaper to leak in the two hour time limit. But there are problems there. First of all, other than the fact that I’d really like to see if I can do it, I have nothing to give me an incentive to try harder if I’m not making it. No consequences. If I can’t do it the first day, then I’d probably like to try it again the next, but without the incentive of the consequence, why should I bother to push myself harder? And I don’t know that I trust myself to punish myself very hard at all. That’s the problem with being alone in this.
Anyway, my house will probably be filled with granddaughters all weekend. I’m still going to try to wear the pull-up style diapers under my clothes all weekend – and will probably try using them too. I’ll have to let you know how it goes.
Do something fun today,
Karen
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