By Karen Singer
Chapter 55 (Thursday – week 8 Part 9 of 9)
They were actually a few minutes early for their appointment with Gloria. But the only car in the parking lot when they arrived was Gloria’s so Mel felt safe going right in. “Grab your diaper bag,” she told Sissy as they got out of the car.
Gloria was in her office when she heard someone opening the door. She checked the time and saw that it was still a bit early for her next appointment – Mel and Chad. She was actually a bit surprised to see it was them arriving early, especially since they were more often late. But them being early was no problem this time.
“Hi,” she greeted them pleasantly as they came in. “You’re early for once.” As she said the words, she had a hard time taking her eyes off of Sissy’s outfit.
“Yeah, dinner wasn’t the best tonight,” Mel replied. “Although I’m sure Sissy found more to enjoy out of it than I did.”
Gloria had no doubt – whatever it was that had happened at dinner – and she really didn’t want to know. She stared closer at what he was wearing – the fantastic dress, the shoes, even the bow in his hair. Darling, was the first word that came to mind over his clothes, but that was quickly replaced by a more worrying thought. Like it or not, they were here for a relaxation therapy session. And Chad would be getting a deeper session than Mel. But in that outfit, could he actually relax enough? That could affect everything she was going to try to do with him.
But before Gloria could say anything about it, Mel had a question. “Um… Listen,” Mel started. “It’s been a while since he’s been changed, do you mind if I change his diaper before we begin? I wouldn’t want that to be a problem later.”
“Go right ahead!” Gloria agreed quickly. “Besides, you’re early anyway.” She wondered again if it was going to be possible to relax him enough while he was wearing that outfit. The change of diaper would probably help since it would take his mind off of worrying about his current diaper, but she just wasn’t sure about that incredible dress.
She watched as Mel had him remove his dress completely before she changed him. His diaper underneath was soaked. She watched as Mel had him lay down on the floor while she got another diaper ready for him. Then she carefully peeled back the old one, watching him down there closely as she did so. She pulled the old one out then as fast as she could and she slid the new one in place. She hadn’t even had time to pull the new diaper over him again before Gloria noticed a tiny bit of pee spurting out of his chastity device. She looked at Chad’s face. He was just lying there sucking on his silly pacifier like he didn’t know anything in the world was going on. A minute later, his diaper was fastened securely in place.
“Okay Sissy. Let’s get your dress back on again.”
“Uh… Mel,” Gloria interrupted. “Is he going to be able to relax enough in that dress to do this? Would he be more comfortable leaving it off?”
Mel looked at Sissy to answer the question. Gloria was a bit astonished to see him curtsey before answering in the most silly sissyish voice imaginable that she found difficult to understand. “I shouldn’t have any problem with the dress,” he said. “Actually, I’d rather wear it than just the diaper.” Then she watched as he put his pacifier back in his mouth and curtseyed again.
“Okay,” she replied. “However you’re most comfortable. I want you to be able to relax completely.” She thought of one other little thing. “And when we get in there, do me a favor and leave your pacifier out of your mouth.
“Why?” Mel asked.
Gloria wanted to tell her it was because once she got him hypnotized, the pacifier would interfere with his talking to answer their questions. But instead she replied, “His breathing. He needs to breathe fully in order to relax properly.”
Mel only nodded. “Put it in your purse for now, Sissy.”
Once again they were lying on their usual couches – Sissy’s darling dress with its puffy skirts, and all. Gloria took one more look at his dress, then she dimmed the lights. “Close your eyes,” she said. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Breath normally, don’t force it, don’t restrict it, just breathe. Feel the air going in… and out. In… and out. Suggestion by suggestion, she slowly did her best to relax both of them. Most of what she did was what she always did, but every session was different and she often threw in different suggestions from her large collection of relaxing ideas.
She watched Mel carefully to see if she was relaxing as well, but she thought she detected tension in Mel’s body that she didn’t want to see. She kept working. She could see Mel relaxing a bit more, but not to the point she wanted her to be. Which meant… that Mel had something else on her mind that was overriding her ability to relax. And Gloria had a pretty good idea just what that something else was. Since Mel was going to be a lost cause tonight, she concentrated on Chad instead. He was the main thing she needed to concentrate on anyway.
Little by little, one by one, she started throwing in the special key words that would send Chad into his hypnotic trance. But were those keywords working despite his silly outfit? She was pleased to see that they were. Deeper and deeper she took him.
When she had him in a light trance, she lightly tapped her hand on Mel’s arm to signal Mel that she should stop listening so she wouldn’t drop into a trance as well. She knew before she did it that she shouldn’t have bothered, Mel was too tensed up for her to worry about it. But it did signal Mel that she could sit up to watch now… which she did.
Gloria went back to concentrating on Chad. Deeper and deeper. Over and over again. It was only through the very tiny signs that she had learned to recognize that she knew he was deeply under – as deep as he had ever gone. Maybe deeper. She finally felt satisfied.
Only then did she take him into his safe place. “Remember,” she said to him, “this is the one place where you can be absolutely honest with yourself. This is the one place where you have to be completely honest with yourself. You are alone and calm in your safe place. Relaxed. Content. Just you by yourself. Nothing can harm you. Nothing can bother you. Totally safe. The only thing you can hear is my voice, nothing else. Everything else will be nothing but a gentle relaxing breeze blowing across your face. You can hear only my voice, nothing else. Totally safe and relaxed. Totally content. Totally honest with yourself.”
She watched him for a moment, letting him enjoy the solitude of his safe place. He was ready. She looked back at Mel and mouthed, “What do you want to know?”
This was the one thing Mel had desperately been waiting for since last week. Last week when he had claimed that he could still hold back for five minutes. Five impossible long minutes! How long could he hold back now? “How long can he hold back?” Mel answered quietly.
Gloria nodded and turned to Sissy.
“Chad, how long are you able to hold back now to control your bladder?”
It was a moment before Chad answered, and she was glad it was in his normal voice and not his stupid sissy voice that he had used when he curtseyed to speak earlier. “I don’t know,” he replied.
Mel was suddenly startled. His answer made no sense.
“What do you mean you don’t know?” Gloria asked him. “I thought you were timing yourself.”
“I don’t know,” Chad repeated. “I haven’t been able to time myself in over a week now.”
“I see,” Gloria replied. “Then how long do you think you’re holding back even though you can’t time yourself?”
She saw him smile. “I’m not.”
“You’re not? You’re not what?”
“Timing myself… or holding back. I haven’t had one chance to even try in over a week, so I have no idea how long I can hold back at all.”
“No idea at all?” Gloria asked again.
“None,” Chad replied.
She turned back toward Mel and saw her eyes were wide open. She looked very distressed. “I have to know!” Mel told her. “There has to be some kind of an answer. “Is it one minute? Is it thirty-seconds? It has to be something!”
“You’re sure you don’t know?” Gloria asked Chad again. “Can you make a guess?”
She saw his shoulder’s shrug. “If I can’t ever try, how can I know? I have no idea.”
“Okay Chad, that’s fine,” Gloria finally said. “Just relax and don’t worry about it.” She didn’t want to break his trance in any way. Instead she looked at Mel again to see if there was anything else. But Mel just looked up at her with a somewhat frightened look on her face. “What else?” she mouthed silently. But Mel just shook her head.
Gloria turned back Chad. Mel might be unable to think straight, but she still could. And now she had a few questions of her own – especially in light of what she had seen from him recently. “Chad, do you still think you can win this bet?”
“Yes,” Chad replied.
It was the certainty in his voice that surprised Gloria. She didn’t dare turn to look back at Mel this time. “Why is that?”
“Because it can’t be done. Not in only two months. Besides, I know my body too well. Given the chance, I know I can get all my control back quickly. Hopefully in just a few hours.”
Gloria heard Mel let out a small gasp behind her. She concentrated on Chad though. “You’re absolutely sure of that?” she asked.
Chad shrugged again. “I hope so anyway. But then that’s what this bet is all about. I still think I’m going to win and I’m fairly sure of it.”
“I see,” Gloria replied as she digested that. “One more question Chad. You once told me that you had some reasons why you wanted to win. Do you still believe them? Are they still valid reasons for you or have they changed?”
What surprised her most was that he didn’t hesitate to answer at all. “Yes,” he replied with certainty. “Self-respect, friends, and a life. They’re all very good reasons. They’re all things everyone needs.” His voice dropped in volume a bit. He almost sounded sorry for himself. “Even someone like me,” he said. “Even me.”
Gloria looked back at Mel. What she saw was a woman who was totally distressed. If ever anyone needed a session of her relaxation therapy right now, it was Mel. But the therapy would never work with her right now. Mel was far too upset. As far as Chad’s progress on their bet, there were no longer any answers. Mel was going to have to figure the rest out on her own.
“Okay, Chad. You did very well. Now I want you to just relax and let’s start bringing you up out of your trance again. Remember, you won’t remember being in a trance at all. You won’t remember me asking any of those questions, and you won’t remember giving me those answers. You will only know how good you feel after you wake up.” Slowly and methodically, she started waking him up.
Mel laid back mechanically on her couch and stared at the ceiling… seeing nothing. She was stunned. He didn’t know! Which meant that she didn’t know. She had no answers. No idea of where she stood with him at all. She felt totally lost… cast adrift. She counted on the information she got from these sessions every week to help her gauge her progress – and how much more she still needed to do. But now there was no information! And the bet was so close to being over with!
Five minutes! Last week it had been an impossible five minutes! But what was it this week? She had no idea… and it seemed, neither did he.
She heard Gloria giving the final command to wake Sissy up. She heard him stir, but she barely moved. What was she going to do? And he had sounded so certain about his ability to win. He could gain it all back in a few hours? A few hours? Suddenly, Mel felt terrified!
Once again Chad noticed how silent and distracted Mel was as they drove home. What was it about Gloria’s therapy that made her get that way the last few weeks? It didn’t make sense. It was as if she got up from Gloria’s couch in another world. He, on the other hand, felt great! Wonderful! Perfect! As far as he was concerned, the therapy was the greatest thing in the world. So why was Mel now coming out so tense every week… so distracted?
But at least she was leaving him alone. She hadn’t even asked him to drink another baby bottle on the way home… he wasn’t sure he had a full one left anyway. And she hadn’t even mentioned his pacifier that was still in his purse. Thank heaven for small favors.
Mel didn’t speak till they were halfway up the steps between the parking lot and their apartments. “We’ve got to work on your ballet tonight,” she said.
But Chad got the distinct impression that her mind was still somewhere else.
Mel mechanically unlocked her apartment door and went inside. She knew Sissy was right behind her, but nothing else really registered. Five minutes! Last week it had been five minutes. But this week he didn’t know. He could have said that he couldn’t hold back at all… that he was incapable of holding back. That was what she had wanted to hear. But he hadn’t said that at all. He had said he didn’t know. Not only that, but he was so damn sure he could still win the bet! And why did he suddenly think he would be able to get all his control back in a matter of hours? What had happened this week that she didn’t know about? It was maddening.
She pulled herself out of her fog long enough to see him standing there looking at her. She watched him curtsey.
“Are you alright Mistress?” he asked, totally concerned.
She still got a small thrill watching him curtsey again, but his question forced her to realize that she was brooding over something she had no control over… not that she could help it. “I’m fine, Sissy. Get ready for dance practice.” She forced herself to go over to her stereo system and queue up the medley of childish songs that he would be performing to the day after tomorrow.
Chad removed his clothes down to his once again soaked diaper and bra. Mel said nothing else to him about what he was wearing as he took his place for the start of the dance. There was something bothering Mel, he could see that as clear as anything. He just had no idea what it could be. Did Gloria do something while they were there that made her angry? If so, he couldn’t remember anything out of the ordinary happening during their session. Mel had seemed fine when they started. It was only after they were finished that she had been so… distracted.
The music started and he started dancing – no warm up tonight at all. Just straight into the routine. He did his best to remember all the little changes that Mel and Sandy had made to the ballet, but he knew he wasn’t remembering them all. As he danced, he tried to watch Mel’s face when he could. She was watching him, but her expression almost seemed blank. Why wasn’t she stopping him when he made mistakes?
Mel watched him dancing, but she really didn’t care. Not tonight. She knew she should care, but she didn’t. Not about dancing. She needed to know how long he could still hold back. She needed to know why he suddenly felt he could gain everything back in a few hours. She needed to know the answers to questions there were no answers for.
She knew he was making mistakes, but tonight, she didn’t care that much. Besides, what did it matter anyway? Since Sandy, the whole character of the dance had been changed. There were no mistakes anymore. Only humiliation. Most of which he wouldn’t know about until it got time for him to actually do it. So why should she worry about it. Besides, she and Sandy would work with him more on Saturday morning anyway. So what did it matter?
The music ended before Chad did. He stopped what he was doing and curtseyed. “Do you want me to do it again?” he asked when Mel just stared at him. Then he curtseyed again.
Mel finally shook her head. “No Sissy. That’s enough for tonight. Go home.”
Curtsey, “Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked again. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Curtsey.
Mel was jolted out of her fog again. Anything he could do for her? He could tell her exactly how long he was now able to hold back! He could tell her exactly why he suddenly thought he could get all his control back in only a few hours! He could tell her why he was so sure he was going to win! And the one thing she really wanted her to tell her, was that he was giving up! That she won! That he lost! But he wasn’t saying any of that. None of it! And if she came straight out and asked him any of those questions, it might make him realize what Gloria had been doing with him each week. Because they were all questions that he wasn’t supposed to know that she any knowledge about!
What could he do for her? She forced herself to calm down. He was only trying to be nice. She had no doubt that he was genuinely concerned and she really did appreciate it… a lot! She only wished he was concerned enough to give up and admit defeat! But that was one thing she knew he wouldn’t do… and the one thing she couldn’t ask of him right now.
She shook her head instead. “I’m sorry Sissy,” she said. “Go home and get some sleep. I know you’re tired. You were up early today and so was I. I’ll be by later to leave you another note for tomorrow.”
She went over to her stereo and shut it down while he just stood there watching her. “I’m fine!” she insisted. “Now good night.” She paused a moment as he looked down at the floor momentarily. “And… thank you for being concerned,” she added kindly.
He looked up at her again… and curtseyed… and smiled. “Good night, Mistress,” he said before curtseying one more time.
Watching him curtsey still brought a thrill to her heart. Why did it do that – even after so many times seeing it? She watched as he gathered all his things and opened the door. “Good night,” she said one more time as he walked out the door.
He turned and smiled… and half curtseyed. “Good night Mistress.” Curtsey. He turned and closed the door behind him.
Mel continued to stare at the closed door. Five minutes last week. An eternity. But this week… no information at all. Nothing. She had nothing to go by. Nothing to gauge her progress. Nothing to tell her if she was winning or losing. Nothing. Now what was she going to do?
Why couldn’t he just admit defeat and they could get on with the rest of their lives? But she knew the answer to that as well as he did. Neither of them would ever admit defeat. It wasn’t in them. So what was she going to do?
With her mind totally occupied by that problem, she went into her bedroom and laid down on her bed. Her eyes were open, but they weren’t seeing anything – nothing that she noticed anyway. What was she going to do? With nothing else on her mind than that, the long day caught up with her and her thinking turned seamlessly into dreaming.