Sunday, August 23, 2009

I Need A Clone

Has anybody seen the clone machine around? I think I need to clone myself a few times because there’s just not enough of me to go around.

First I need one for my in-laws.

Oh, please let me say a big thank you to those who have been concerned about our care-giving situation with my in-laws. On this trip, they have been with us now for a full week and things seem to be going well. In fact, they’re both now talking seriously about staying full time with us. It’s more than obvious that they both need to stay with us. Neither of them can manage on their own anymore! My father in-law sit’s in his chair all day long, sort of watching TV (he isn’t really sure what he’s watching anymore and every time a commercial comes on he completely loses track). But what he’s really doing all day is waiting for me to come home so he can be with me instead of the females… and we both just sit and watch TV all night because that’s all he can do. Well, not quite, every once in a while he get’s out of his chair (very shakily) and wanders out by the pool. If you don’t keep a close eye on him, he’ll wander anywhere – even though he can hardly walk anymore.

I need another clone to take care of my wife and the house.

It’s one thing after another - problem wise. And somehow I’m the only one who can call to get the car fixed, or to get the air-conditioning fixed, or whatever. She’s another one who has always waited around the house all day, not going anywhere, just waiting for me to come home, just to be with me. Mind you… I’m NOT complaining.

I need a third clone for the rest of my family.

My tiny paycheck somehow is supporting all too many of them in these hard times. My wife knows and hates it horribly, but when the kids are hungry, what do you do? They’re killing me. Every little thing that goes wrong for any of them, and somehow, I’m the one who has to fix it, whatever it is. How did I get elected? I don’t really feel adequate. I’m not a flashy, or bossy, or even an outgoing kind of guy. In fact, I’m terribly quiet and reserved. But somehow I wound up as king of the castle… and the rest of the country too.

Finally, and most importantly, I need a clone for me!

And this is the part that comes the closest to the real purpose of this blog. So hear goes… Despite my family, and my entire life, I’ve still got these “weird” desires for crossdressing and also diaper play. Ok, I’m strange, I admit it. Tough! But right now, my only outlet for it is through my writing. I’m literally living my dreams through my stories.

A few years ago, I discovered – to my surprise – that I love to write. I’ve finished one major novel that I and everyone who I’ve allowed to read it, thinks is really good. But I can’t seem to get up the nerve to find myself a literary agent to help me publish the book. I’m now in the middle of book two and it’s also going to be a great book. Along with that, I’m writing the story that I’ve been posting in my blog. Two books. Two completely different stories. Too many people who need me working to support them. And only one of me.

Seriously though, I love all the people and even the situations, and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Of course winning a major lottery would certainly be nice. But I’m trying to write every spare second I can find. And those seconds are all too few. Mostly, I get out of bed very early in the morning so I can have about forty five minutes or so to work on this stuff, then during the week I try to write during my lunch hour too. Lately though, I’ve been writing at work, while I’m working on other things – where and when I really shouldn’t be doing it! I keep the project I’m working open on my desk along with a story, and every few minutes I go back and forth between the two. I pray nobody ever finds out!

But I have to write. The stories demand it! I have two stories running through my mind at all times. One is a very powerful story with a host of compelling characters that literally spans an entire continent. The other is the story that some of you have been reading here – The Bet. Two very different stories, and I love both of them. I just wish I had more time to work on them. But don’t worry. While you’re just starting chapter 4, I’m now putting the finishing touches on chapter 14. And you’ll soon discover that while the first few chapters can be posted in only two parts, very soon it’s going to take four or five or more parts to post each new chapter. As the intricacy of the story progresses, the chapters have become immensely longer – and I think far more interesting.

So if I find a way to clone myself so I can fill my day with just writing, I’ll let you know – in case anyone out there is interested too. Because I realize now that writing has become my absolute passion. I want to write… I have to write. I just don’t have time to write. But I’m doing everything I can.

Do you have a passion? If so, indulge yourself a bit. If not, find one!

1 comment:

Pretty Sissy Dani said...

Writing got me through 30 years of not dressing; with any luck, you won't have to wait so long.

I've said this before, but it bears repeating--you need to research the idea of an assisted living facility for your in-laws. It's not fair to you, your wife, and--frankly--her parents for you to be responsible for them every waking minute (and probably the sleeping ones, too). If a true medical emergency arose, you are simply not equipped to handle it; the staff at an assisted living facility would be.

As for your kids--it may be time to "cut the apron strings". Unless the situation is truly dire (a real choice of helping or starvation), make them stand on their own. From what you've written in the past, much of their situations is a result of their own bad choices. Phrases about making their own beds come to mind.

I forget if you've mentioned grandchildren in these cases. That will make the "tough love" decision much harder...but I'd suggest that you'd be better off taking custody of the grandkids (go to court, if you have to) then constantly bailing out the kids.