by Karen Singer
Chapter 41 (Thursday – week 6 Part 7 of 8)
When they arrived at Gloria’s office, Chad was hesitant about getting out of the car. But what choice did he really have? With his diapers fully on display, he tried to rush from the car to the door, but Mel didn’t seem to be in so much of a hurry.
“It’s not lady-like to walk that fast,” she said teasingly as she purposely slowed her steps. Frustrated, Chad had to slow his pace too. He felt soooo embarrassed!
Gloria looked up as she heard the door opening. Mel and Chad were a bit late, but not overly so. But she got quite a surprise at seeing Chad’s diapers and no skirt or pants to cover them.
“We had a little accident at the restaurant,” Mel explained at seeing Gloria’s look of surprise.
Chad could feel his face growing redder. Accident? More like a catastrophe! Several of them!
Gloria did her very best to put her professional – ‘I’ve seen it all and nothing phases me’ – look back on her face. “Of course,” she said as she got up from her desk. “I’m sorry to hear that.” She led them both inside their usual room and adjusted the lights while they got ready. As she took her place near them, she did her best to ignore Chad’s diaper that was fully on display – which was harder to do than she thought since she got the distinct impression that it was wet. Was this another new ploy by Mel to get her to do what she vowed she wouldn’t? If it was, then it certainly wasn’t going to work!
“Let’s start by breathing,” she said. “Nice and slow. Nice and deep. Close your eyes, and feel the breaths calming you. Feel all your stress leaving you every time you exhale. More and more stress going out with each breath.” She took them through the usual beginning exercises till she was comfortable with how relaxed each of them appeared to be. Then, little by little, she started including the trigger words that would put Chad into a deep hypnotic state.
Mel recognized the parts that Gloria was using now to put Chad under, but in her present relaxed state she didn’t try to open her eyes or even worry about it. She knew that Gloria would tap her and let her know exactly when it was time to wake up. She missed the old sessions she used to have where Gloria could relax her completely. So this time, she was in no hurry to bring any of the stress back into her mind once again. Just calm relaxing. Floating. Feeling good.
Gloria glanced at Mel. She usually brought her out of it by this time, but she looked so relaxed and happy that she decided to leave her for a bit more. She continued on with Chad, dropping him further and further into his trance, encouraging him more and more to slip deeper and deeper. Once she had him far enough, she told him to remember the safe place they had created last week where nothing could ever bother him, where he could be totally honest with himself. As she did so, she just happened to glance over at Mel again. She really should have woken her up a few minutes ago, but she had looked so happily relaxed. Now, she recognized the faint signs that she was in her own little trance – not deep like Chad was, but definitely there. Now what should she do?
“Picture your safe place,” she repeated to Chad. “The place where you feel calm and happy. You are there now, in your safe place.” What should she do about Mel? Was it her imagination or had Mel smiled a bit more when she mentioned that last bit about someplace to feel calm and happy? She leaned over closer to Chad and whispered. “I want you to just stay in your safe place and enjoy it for a few minutes. Relax and enjoy it. Your safe place. While you’re enjoying it, I don’t want you to hear anything else until I speak your name again.” She paused for a moment. “Can you hear me?” No reaction.
Now that Chad was on hold, she turned to Mel. What should she do? She decided that since Mel was enjoying the relaxation that much, then she would let her enjoy it for a bit more. She leaned over closer to Mel. “Mel, are you feeling happy right now?” She watched as Mel nodded. “Mel, tell me, did you happen to picture a safe happy place of your own?”
“Yes,” Mel replied contentedly.
Gloria didn’t know whether she should have been surprised or not. “Okay, good. I want you to see that place more. See the detail. Enjoy the details. I want you to be in that place now. I want you to be there and feel totally safe and secure. And I especially want you to feel calm and relaxed and happy.”
She sat back to consider her next move. What she really wanted to do with each of them was to bang their heads together till they came to their senses over this bet thing. But she couldn’t do that. She could also plant suggestions in each of them that it was all just a bit of nonsense and that they each wanted to just forget the whole thing… but things had gone way past the point where that would even begin to work now – for both of them. And more than any of it, she wanted to just tell both of them to take a close look at how they really felt about each other – closer than any of them wanted to go – and to also look at how they were relating to each other. Because… because… No, she didn’t want to even think about going there!
She sighed. As much as she wanted to do any of it, she couldn’t. Not only wasn’t it ethical, but whichever way their relationship progressed, in the end, things would work out much better if she didn’t meddle at all. She leaned close to Mel again. “Mel, tell me a little about your safe place. Tell me where you are.”
“My house,” Mel replied. “My big new house. All my things are there with me. All the furniture I saved from my parent’s home. And Sissy is there with me, curtseying to me at my slightest whim. I love it. I love it.”
Gloria had no doubt. “Okay, Mel. I want you to just stay in that place for a while and enjoy… everything. You don’t need to pay any attention to… or even hear… anything else until I speak your name and tell you to pay attention.”
She sat back again. Both of them were now on hold. It was time to get down and dirty with Chad. Time to delve into the things she really wanted to know from him. She glanced at the clock. Fortunately Chad had slipped down faster than usual… Mel too for that matter. With Mel out of the way and things were set so that she wouldn’t probably remember any of what Chad was about to say, she moved close to Chad’s ear. “Chad,” she said softly. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes,” Chad replied.
“Chad, I want you to remember that you are in the one place where you can feel totally honest with yourself. The one place where you must be totally honest. Do you understand?”
“Remember, Chad. Honesty will make you feel good. In your safe place, you must be honest.” She paused for a breath. It was time. “Chad, I want you to think back to the beginning of the bet… in fact to just before you and Mel made the bet. Why did you do it? Why did you make the bet with her in the first place?” She waited for an answer and noticed a bit of a troubled look on his face. “Remember, you’re in the one place where nothing can bother you. The one place where it helps to be totally honest with yourself. You want to be totally honest with yourself.” His face seemed to relax, but not by much. “Now, why did you do it… really?”
It was a moment before he answered. “The dream.”
“You dream of sex?”
He shook his head. “Yes and no. I dreamed about being incontinent. I dreamed about someone else having total control over me. I dreamed about that person making me do humiliating thing after humiliating thing.” He paused as he further collected his thoughts. “I dreamed of wearing high heels and dresses and skirts and… everything else too. I dreamed many things and I loved it all. It was the only way I could really feel sexually excited. The dreams were the only thing that enabled me to orgasm. The dreams were… for me… sex.”
Gloria knew without a doubt that she had reached the crux of the matter.
Chad, you said that you dreamed of being incontinent. “Why would you want that?”
“The dream. Total humiliation. Unable to control myself at all. Nothing but a big baby. Humiliation… delicious.”
Total humiliation… not in control… “Chad, you said you wanted for someone else to have total control over you.”
“No control. Total lack of control.”
“Why would you want that?”
His answer took a bit longer. “No control. No responsibility. Not responsible for what she makes me do. Deniability. Excuse.”
‘She’… not ‘He’. “Would it have to be a woman? How about a man?”
“Never thought about it. Always dreamed of a woman. I guess a man would be possible.”
That much was pretty much what she figured. Most transvestites were actually heterosexual. It was his wanting to relinquish control that interested her the most. That, and his total fascination with humiliation. “Chad, you said that you think that being incontinent would be humiliating. Is that right?”
“Yes. Very humiliating. Nothing but a big baby. Total baby.”
“And you want that humiliation.”
“Yes. Sexually arousing. Delicious!”
Delicious? An interesting term. “Chad, outside of your bet with Mel, if someone said they could hypnotize you into being totally incontinent, would you do it?”
“Yes. No control. Wouldn’t be able to control myself. Not responsible for being unable to control myself.”
It was actually a double level of no control. One over his own actions, and the second from beyond himself. But she felt even better now about having hypnotized him before into being somewhat incontinent. In fact, she felt better about all the little suggestion she had given him before. But that didn’t mean for one second that she would re-implement those suggestions again. Beyond what she was doing here, she had vowed to stay out of the middle of this weird bet!
“Chad, I know you told me last week that you felt like you really had to win the bet. Do you still feel that way?” She noticed the sad look on his face.
“Unfortunately? What does that mean?”
“That I still feel like I have to win. But in winning, I also lose.”
“Everything I dream about. No more living the dream. It will all be over.”
“So why win? What is it that you still want so badly?”
“Respect. Respect myself. Respect from others.”
Basically, it was the same answer as last week, just in different words. So that much hadn’t changed, only the part where winning would also be losing for him… and now, that much she could sort of understand. She briefly glanced toward Mel. She was still resting happily, the same contented look on her face. If things went like she thought they would, Mel wasn’t hearing any of this, or at least wouldn’t remember it. One more question for Chad popped into her head. “Chad, how do you really feel about Mel?”
She saw his head move just a bit, and again, he was slow to answer. “Fantastic! Amazing! Beautiful!” His face assumed a very sad demeanor. “I only wish I were someone else. Someone she could love.”
Gloria felt a momentary twinge of jealousy. If only a man would say such things about her! But his answer had told her volumes. Enough that she didn’t need to ask any more questions in that line.
She looked back toward Mel and glanced at the clock again. It was time to move on. “Chad, I want you to go back to being relaxed and happy in your safe place. Just enjoy it. Once again, you won’t hear anything else until I speak your name.”
She moved over close to Mel. “Mel, can you hear me?”
Mel moved her head a bit. “Is it time to pay attention?” she asked.
“Yes Mel, it’s time. I’m going to wake you up now. Remember, you haven’t been in a trance. You haven’t been listening to any of my suggestions. All you will remember is how good and refreshed you feel. When I speak your name again and tap you on the arm, you will wake up completely like you do in all my sessions. Ready?” She touched Mel’s arm. “Mel.”
Mel instantly opened her eyes. Was it time already? Did she have Chad under far enough already? She sat up. For once, she felt really great… and relaxed. She immediately looked over to Chad. Obviously, he was now deeply hypnotized, although it hadn’t seemed to take as long this time. She had things she wanted to know… things she needed Gloria to ask him. She mouthed the words… “Can you ask him how long?”
But Gloria couldn’t understand what Mel was trying to say. “Whisper. He’s so far under that he won’t hear you.”
With a cautious glance at Chad again, Mel repeated her question in a soft whisper. “I need to know how long he’s holding back!”
Gloria knew that it was the one main question on Mel’s mind. “I’ll ask.” She turned to Chad again. “Chad, can you hear me?”
Every time Mel heard him speak so normally when he was hypnotized sent a weird feeling through her. It was actually a bit creepy!
“Chad, tell me. Are you still working on holding back? Still trying to gain control?”
Gloria didn’t really expect any other answer. He had practically told her that much a few minutes ago… but Mel didn’t know that. She glanced at Mel and saw the sudden look of worry on her face.
“Chad, how long are you holding back now?”
Again, it was a moment before he answered. And again, he looked troubled over it. “Today, I only managed eight and a half minutes. Another minute lost over yesterday. I’ve only managed to gain ground once this week – I was up to twelve minutes! But it was only that one day. Ever since, I’ve been going backwards again.”
Mel hung on his every word. Eight and a half minutes! It had been eighteen minutes last week! She had managed to trim almost ten minutes off of his time since then! But he had managed to climb up to twelve minutes at one point. But it was a ‘gain up’ to twelve, which meant that he had been below that before then. Obviously that was only a temporary blip. Ten minutes shaved… or almost ten. But was it enough? Time was running out! There wasn’t really all that much time left in this bet at all, and even eight and a half minutes was way too much. It was the same as him having absolute total control. He had to be totally incontinent by the end of the bet – and he still had a long way to go. Eight and a half minutes to go! While she felt somewhat elated over the progress she had made, panic began to creep its way in too. How was she going to do it? So little time! So far to go!
Gloria watched Mel’s face and saw the gamut of emotions running through her. “What else did you want to know?” she asked, barely whispering.
But Mel was too preoccupied with her own thoughts on what Chad had just said. Just then, she couldn’t think of anything else.
Gloria nodded and turned her attention back to Chad. “Chad, I’m going to start waking you up now. You won’t remember anything at all from tonight other than that you felt really relaxed and very good. Nothing else. Now I’m going to start counting backwards from ten to one. When I reach one, you will once again be wide awake. Ten…” As she started counting backwards, she back up away from him a little. She had been concentrating hard on just his face and what she could read in it. “Nine.” She could see all of him now… and his ridiculous uncovered diaper. “Eight.” She stared hard at his diaper, she couldn’t help it. She had been too busy to notice before, but now his diaper didn’t look just wet, it looked absolutely soaked! “Seven.” He must have been wetting it continuously during their session. “Six.” She made a mental note to sanitize the couch he was laying on after he left… just in case. “Five.” She forced herself to look away from his diaper to the rest of him. So incongruous. “Four.” Incongruous at first glance… but not when you took into account the things running around in his warped psyche. “Three.” She forced herself to glance at Mel. She was lying back on her couch, her eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. “Two.” She could almost see the wheels turning in Mel’s mind. And she had no doubt what those thoughts centered around. “One!”
Chad opened his eyes. He felt great! His whole body felt more relaxed than ever. “That’s it?” he asked.
“That’s it,” Gloria replied. “All done.”
Chad noticed Mel getting to her feet. He glanced at the clock. Where had the time gone? But wow he felt good! He loved theses sessions. Now he couldn’t wait till next week!