I didn’t do anything special last night after I took the picture of my dress. In fact, all I did was to watch TV for a few hours. Then I went to bed. But not before listening one more time to my audio file. I’ve started to conclude that it’s more of a hypnotic recording than I originally thought. I guess you could consider much of it to be kind of a quasi induction. But anyway, I slept fairly well last night again – till about four this morning. I remember half-waking once last night to pee fairly heavily again, then every time after that it was very light and very little. Hardly worth mentioning – or noticing.
But here’s the part I really wanted to tell you about. As I said, I slept fairly well till about four this morning. But I didn’t want to get up that early. I wanted to sleep till at least five thirty. So, I reached into my bedside drawer and pulled out my little mp3 player. But instead of playing my own audio file, I played one that I had downloaded from Warp My Mind the last time I played. It’s a free file called “Six Month Baby Girl” and I think it’s by allisoninlove. I listened to this file the night before too and really enjoyed it. It’s another one that’s done with a synthesized voice so I guess I enjoyed the comparison. But here’s the interesting part. This file kind of sets a few baby behaviors in you, one of which is drooling. I can’t help it. Every time I have ever listened to this file, I start drooling terribly in that section.
I think it’s because of this file that I stopped off on the way home yesterday and bought myself a pacifier. No I didn’t suck on it when I got home. I didn’t want to. No, I didn’t suck on it when I went to bed – again I didn’t want to. I had no interest at all. But… when I got up at four am to listen to the recording, the first thing I did was to put the pacifier in my mouth – because I knew I would want it before the recording was over.
The pacifier felt small in my mouth and uncomfortable. My mouth was dry and I really had no interest in sucking on it. The pacifier didn’t make breathing all that easy either. But I left the darn thing in my mouth while I listened and got into the file. When it finally got around to the part about encouraging my sucking reflex, I at first wasn’t all that interested. But I tried sucking a little bit and it wasn’t all that interesting. Then a few minutes later, I tried again, and liked it a bit more, then more, then more! Absolutely lovely. I was really enjoying sucking on the pacifier. Except that I was now also wanting a baby bottle too. I kept trying to imagine sucking on the nice baby bottle and feeling the liquid come out of the nipple into my mouth. No, that’s not in the recording, my mind was just imagining it.
But then the file got down to the drooling part again. But this time I had the darn pacifier in my mouth. My mouth was fairly dry, but as the file suggested, my mouth was soon watering like crazy. But I couldn’t swallow it! I had to push it out of my mouth with my tongue! But the pacifier was there. But low and behold I actually learned to do it – while I was sucking on the pacifier. And I loved it! I really loved it! As the file suggested, I started enjoying sucking noisily on my pacifier – the excessive drool helped considerably.
When the file ended, there was no way I wanted to remove that pacifier from my mouth, but I was afraid of making a mess with all my drooling, so I got up and got a towel to put under my head and protect my pillow. Then I went back to bed till five thirty. Drooling and sucking away. Enjoying making little tiny noises with my pacifier and feeling like a totally infant (a totally sexually charged infant). I was even blowing tiny drool bubbles around my pacifier. Such fun! The only problem is that now I want a bottle too.
I don’t know why I enjoy the file so much or why it affects me. It’s not wonderful. I can only rate it as very interesting but mostly just okay. But it does kind of resonate with me – or maybe it resonates with my wants. I only wish there were more of it – or more files like it! There are so few when it comes to baby behaviors and this one doesn’t spend forever on the hypnotic induction section. I get bored with long inductions. I guess I’m a child. My attention span isn’t that long.
When I finally got up this morning and removed the pacifier from my mouth, I discovered that my step-son hadn’t come home again last night (he’s watching a gravely ill friend). So instead of bothering to get out of all my night diapers (three) I left them all on. Let me tell you, exercising in heavy, very bulky, diapers makes things a bit harder than usual. But I persevered. I did notice that I was peeing much easier this morning than I had yesterday. I “sort-of” knew I was going to pee sometimes, but there was no real urge. I just mostly noticed it when it came out of me.
So that’s about it for today. I guess I really need to create a posting going into further detail about my hypnotic mantra file. Maybe I can do that tomorrow. But for tonight… Um… Yes, I’m going to listen to my audio file at bedtime again and I’m also going to listen to the other file too. Um… But this time… well… I bought a baby bottle on my way home from work. You can figure out the rest.
Laugh at yourself and be happy,